Families Belong In Church

We challenge the church to see disability-impacted families as indispensable and to move from good intentions to access. We share simple, scalable steps that welcome, provide buddies, offer physical and sensory access, and offer caregiver support that helps whole families belong and serve.

• the attendance gap and why families disengage
• what a real welcome looks like and why it matters
• small church strengths for personal connection
• how to communicate with caregivers as partners
• the buddy system and flexible participation
• when adapted spaces and lessons help
• physical access essentials across facilities
• sensory supports that reduce overload
• caregiver and sibling support with respite and groups
• spiritual accessibility and disability-friendly gifts

If you want to dive deeper on your own, you can check out the Indispensable-People blog or my books on Amazon called The Indispensable Kid or Gospel Accessibility and the Indispensable People

Transcript

Families As An Unreached Group

What Parents Say They Need

Small Churches, Big Strengths

Communication And Partnership

Disability Ministry Is Not A Silo

The Buddy System Explained

Prioritize Physical Access

When Separate Spaces Help

Reducing Sensory Overload

Support For Caregivers And Siblings

Spiritual Accessibility Tools

The Core Question: Do We Welcome?

Keep The Conversation Going

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Hey, hey, my name is Tracy Coral, and welcome to Indispensable People. I'm a pastor, a teacher, a missionary, a mom, a wife, and I believe that every person should have access to the gospel so that they can know Christ, grow in him, and serve him with the gifts that he has given. Over 65 million Americans have a disability. That's 15 to 20% of every community. And over 85% of those individuals do not attend church. 90% of pastors believe that they are a disability-friendly church, but only 20% of parents and families agree. Let's dive deep into hard topics, big questions, perceptions, stereotypes, and so much more. Hey, hey, and welcome to this episode of Indispensable People. Today we're talking about families. Did you know that families impacted by disabilities are often considered one of the largest unreached people groups? The physical and social barriers really hinder their participation in church life. And let's just lay it out there. If one can't attend, it's likely that all can't attend. Or you see the rotation factor where one parent comes, one parent stays home, and all of those kinds of things, let alone think about the inconsistency that that leaves a sibling. Research shows that there is a great attendance gap, that children with autism are 84% less likely to attend church than their peers. Families of children with dis depression or disruptive behaviors that are of a diagnosis are 73 and 55% less likely to have attended in the past year. One-third of families have left the church because they felt that their child wasn't welcomed or included. There are barriers to activities. Statistics say over 55% of parents reported keeping their child from religious activity of some sort because they lacked the necessary support. 80 to 90% of churches lack any formal disability ministry program or outreach. And the need for training among families who do not attend, 86.5% believe their church needs more education and training on disability. So those are some pretty hard-hitting statistics that tell us a couple things from the parents' perspective, their needs are not being met, that they feel as though they're not wanted. And there are too many obstacles for them to overcome to push their attendance. And so we take that and we lead into what are the biggest needs of families who are impacted by disability. And we've said this a multitude of times that families say that a welcoming attitude, that's over 90% of people say a welcoming attitude, where they don't feel judged for their child's behavior or medical equipment, is what they want. Here's the great thing about that a welcome and a value placed on an individual life doesn't cost a single thing. And I've said this here before, and I truly believe it that so many people say or make the comment, it takes a special person for to do what you do, to work with people with disabilities. And here's the honest truth of it. Go and just do minimal work to advance my kingdom. Right? There are it's so much more than that. It's so much more than that. But it all is a foundation based on the worth and value of every person. And we know that our worth and our value is not determined by our abilities, it is determined by the image that we bear, the creation that we are. It's dependent upon God. And so that acceptance, that welcoming attitude, not so hard. I understand that many families impacted by disabilities, as I am that one of those families. Many times the judgmental or unwelcoming attitude comes from an understanding or a misunderstanding. And some people believe that they know and they understand, and some people don't have a clue. And so they either choose to ignore or they choose to assume that they know and they understand, and that's where the judgmental parts come from. But whether it's a homeless man that shows up on your street, whether it's a drug addict or a widow or a person with a disability, we are called to love. And so understanding that that is one of the biggest needs for families is just to be welcomed, just to be included. Another piece of it is for families to have assistance in navigating church systems and finding ways for their children to safely participate in age-appropriate, and that's important, settings. Here's the thing with that. Whether I am a parent of an adult child or a child, a minor, I am the caregiver of that individual, and I need to find placement and purpose and opportunities for discipleship and growth and opportunities to serve within the church. Now, I would say that the majority of churches across the U.S. are not megachurches. They are smaller churches, and some people think that's a bad thing. They think the smaller the church, the less provision. But what you need to understand it's actually the small churches that have really great abilities to not get lost in, right? They you can't come into church and leave church without someone noticing. They have an ability to be very personable without losing their the their visitors, their regular attenders. If you don't show up for a while, they're going to notice. And that's a benefit. That is not a loss. Yes, a smaller church might not be able to have the bells and whistles of sensory rooms or the space for extra things or, but the heart of the people, which is what parents are really asking for, is what becomes incredibly important. And so being able to connect with that family, seeing what they need, meeting their needs by helping them navigate the church systems and then making accommodations so that they can be a part of the whole body of Christ in general becomes a key goal and a need for us to be able to supply. In addition to that, communication with the family is incredibly important. And a lot of times our communication only feels essential when there are negative things that happen. But we want to make sure that we have open communication in their attendance, their hopes, their what they want to participate or how they'd like to participate so that you can be prepared and provide for all those possibilities. So, what are the best ways to provide that support? How can we step into that? And across the board, I would say that first of all, you need to know that a disability ministry is not a siloed ministry. It is not completely standalone and it should never be. However, there are specialized ways to minister to people with disabilities. And so disability ministry should always exist. But also the majority of individuals who attend will likely be able to participate in the, for lack of a better term, regularly scheduled ministry events, all you know, kids' ministry, youth ministry, all of those typical, you know, Sunday morning serm service, all of that kind of stuff. So one of the key strategies, best ways to support those people who, and that's a buddy. And a buddy is a navigational system. A buddy steps in to help the individual be able to navigate the systems of the church so that they can participate. And so a buddy system, whether it's a one-on-one or a floater buddy who knows that there's needs and can step in from time to time, those are gonna be most likely your top strategies in serving people with disabilities. There are going to be individuals who need a full-time navigation system and assistance and support. And maybe they can't participate in typical regularly scheduled activities. And so you might provide separate ministry to them. Maybe their sensory needs are just beyond the support of what a typical setting would provide for, or maybe they're the part the portion of discipleship that's happening on a Sunday morning, they may need so much support or learning on a different level that they may have their Bible lessons or sermons shared in a different way, in a different space, those types of things. But a buddy system is going to be a great support to those families. Another thing is you want to prioritize accessibility. Now, you've heard me say that accessibility sh exists not only in the physical, but in the spiritual and the social. But in this case, we want to prioritize physical accessibility, especially when we're first meeting families, because we want to make sure they can get into the building and they can access the spaces that ministry is happening in and be able to use restrooms and things like that. So there are, you know, you could consider handicapped parking spots, uh, automatic doors, family restrooms. In our church, we choose to have an adult-sized changing table for that possibility. So those are some things that you want to consider in the physical accessibility portion. But the next thing that we want to consider is reducing sensory overload for some of these families. It's not going to be an issue for every family, but for some, we want to have sensory bags or sensory kits that include fidgets or noise canceling headphones, quiet rooms, or designated areas in the church that have less sensory stimulation. On top of directly supporting the person with a disability, we want to remember that we need to support their parents, their caregivers, their siblings, whether it's respite, you could do it with a respite night, a parent Bible study, a siblings night out, support those caregivers so that they can continue to care for their loved one in the best way possible. There are all different kinds of things that you can consider, like individualized spiritual plan, that you can have that spiritual accessibility. I do, I have a spiritual gifts inventory that is disability friendly. There's accessibility checklists that can be considered for events and things that are above and beyond. And this all goes back to how can we support the family? How can we make sure that there's full participation and available to be there? And it goes back to do they feel welcomed? Do they feel as though they are wanted and valued? Are the barriers that they need to overcome worth their efforts because they're exhausted already? And so the question goes back to supporting families through spiritual, social, and physical accessibility of the church. Why? So that every person can know God, grow in him, and serve him with the gifts that he has given them. I can't claim to have all the answers. I can't claim to know all the things, but here's what we are gonna do. We're gonna keep this conversation going. We're gonna make the accessible gospel available to individuals with disabilities in our churches and in our communities so that every person has the opportunity to know Christ, to grow in him, and to serve him with the gifts that he has given. If you want to dive deeper on your own, you can check out the Indispensable People blog or my books on Amazon called The Indispensable Kid or Gospel Accessibility and the Indispensable People.