EPI 62 - Your Overwhelm is Changing Your Brain

Ever feel like you're constantly on edge, even when there's no real danger in sight? You're not alone. In this episode, we're diving deep into the world of perceived stress and how it's impacting our lives more than we realize.

As a former physician assistant turned transformational coach, I've seen firsthand how chronic stress can wreak havoc on our bodies and minds. But here's the kicker - most of the time, it's not even "real" stress. It's all in our heads.

The Perceived Stress Scale: A Window into Your Stress Levels

I introduce you to the Perceived Stress Scale, a classic assessment tool that's still relevant today. It's a simple yet powerful way to gauge how overwhelmed you might be feeling. Spoiler alert: many of us are more stressed than we think we are.

The Brain on Chronic Overwhelm

We explore fascinating research on how chronic overwhelm physically changes our brains. It's not just in your head - it's literally reshaping your grey matter! This explains why we sometimes make poor decisions when we're stressed, like reaching for that glass of wine even when we know it won't truly help.

My Personal Stress Story

I open up about my recent bout with heightened perceived stress. From physical tension to sleep issues, I share how stress manifests in my body and mind. It's a reminder that even coaches aren't immune to life's pressures.

The Downward Spiral of Perceived Stress

We break down the physiological cascade that happens when your mind convinces your body you're under threat. From hormonal imbalances to weakened immunity, the effects are far-reaching and potentially devastating if left unchecked.

Practical Tools to Tame Your Stress

But it's not all doom and gloom! I offer practical strategies to help you recognize and manage your perceived stress. From body scans to mantras, these tools can help you shift your relationship with stress and reclaim your power.

Key Takeaways:

• Learn to differentiate between actual and perceived stress
• Understand how chronic stress physically changes your brain
• Discover the far-reaching effects of perceived stress on your body
• Gain practical tools to manage and reduce your stress levels
• Shift your perspective on stress for a more empowered life

Remember, you don't have to eliminate stress entirely. It's about changing your relationship with it. By understanding and managing your perceived stress, you can step into your power and live life on your own terms.

So, are you ready to take control of your stress and reclaim your vitality? Tune in to this episode and let's start this journey together!

✨ Feeling stretched too thin? Grab your free worksheet: Find Your Still Point: A Calm Amid the Chaos — your step-by-step guide to gently reverse the mental fog and stress that overwhelm creates.

 👉 [Download it here]

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Transcript

(0:00 - 18:07)

Um actual stress that's put on the body is when we are actually being chased by a lion tiger or bear or um, you know, we have like a deadline that we're working through basically, maybe that's something where we feel the Increase of adrenaline increased cortisol. We do the task get through it and then we're done and that we can go back to the normal state Welcome to the habit within this podcast is for high achieving women 35 and older who seem to have it all together, but feel like they're constantly running on fumes Struggling to balance it all and losing sight of the woman they used to be I'm camille kinzler a former physician assistant turned transformational coach blending science positive Psychology and a metaphysical approach to habits health and vitality If you've ever asked yourself, why am I so exhausted even after a full night's sleep or I feel like i'm juggling so much But i'm just barely keeping my head above water You are in the right place each week We'll explore the real reasons behind feeling overwhelmed trapped in the cycle of overworking and constantly running low on energy And how to break free from the patterns keeping you stuck in survival mode It's time to stop living on autopilot and to start feeling like yourself again Let's dive in. All right, my beautiful babes today.

We're going to talk about Perceived stress. I don't know what the opposite of that is if it's actual stress or what or well, actually, I guess what we could say is Actual stress that's put on the body is when we are actually being chased by a lion tiger or bear or um, you know, we have like a deadline that we're working through basically, maybe that's something where we feel the Increase of adrenaline increased cortisol We do the task get through it and then we're done and then we can go back to the normal state. I actually Heard somewhere recently that when there's a zebra and a lion So the lion is chasing the zebra and there's a zebra herd nearby And they scatter when the lion is chasing the one zebra one when that zebra is actually caught and the lion Den or the lions, um, what are they called pride? I think the lion pride is is munching on the zebra then the zebras that are In the field that were scattered actually start grazing again they relax because they know that that will Satisfy the needs of the lion that lion pride for um for a week to come So for me the opposite of perceived stress is when we're in this heightened level of stress But it only lasts for a short period of time perceived stress is the things out there in the world that kind of keep our um Keep our stress levels at an elevated height and there is actually something called the perceived stress scale that you can google And basically some of the questions are in the last month How often have you been upset because of something that that happened unexpectedly? How often in the last month have you felt that you were unable to control important things in your life How often in the past month have you felt nervous and stressed how often in the past month? Have you felt? Confident about your ability to solve personal problems in the last month How often have you felt that things weren't going your way or were going your way how often in the last month? Have you found that you could not cope with all the things that you had to do And how often have you been able to control irritations in your life? How often have you felt that you were on top of things? How often have you been angered because things are happening outside of your control? And how often have you felt difficulties? were Piling up difficulties were piling up so fast that you could not overcome them And so you range this from a scale of zero to four you rate it each of those and then you get a score now What's interesting about this is the perceived stress scale? Is this classic assessment tool and it was developed in 1983, but it's still a popular choice for people to To really see how Much stress they have in their lives And interestingly when I was in medical practice um when I would when people would come in with symptoms that Could often be related to stress and I would ask them about their stress level without doing the stress scale They would say that they weren't stressed But when I would ask them to describe a day and the life of them It was apparent that they lived a very high stressed life So I think this is like a really beautiful scale for you guys to do now interestingly when This is if you fill this out.

This actually more is the scale of overwhelm How overwhelmed are you in your life? And I just did this interview with a woman called. Dr Keisha, and she is so fascinating I interviewed her because i'm going to have a 21 day summit where the whole Purpose of it is to really talk about perimenopause and vitality and energy and confidence in perimenopause and beyond the conversation of just biogenical hormones So I want to discuss yes biogenical hormones and the importance of those when we're in perimenopause and beyond But what else is there where else can we go with the conversation? Of being in this beautiful time in our lives where our bodies can feel like they're betraying us What could it actually mean could it mean more and so that's what we're really going to dive into in this 21 day Series, so keep an eye out for that. It's going to air at the end of may and as we get closer I'll talk to you more about it.

But what she said was really fascinating is that when she was in her doctorate program she read a study about uh people who were in chronic overwhelm and on these fmri scans of their brain what they noticed is that people who describe themselves in this state of chronic overwhelm is that the limbic part of their brain that is More of the reptilian part of their brain was larger and their prefrontal cortex was smaller And prefrontal cortex is the area where we can you know make a logical decision so it's really interesting too I used to work in the field of people who over drank and It's really when you get to the end of the day and you know that you That having a glass of wine isn't going to really help you relax or it might just for a little bit But it will have some rebound effects, especially if you don't sleep well, but you do it Anyway, and it's because you're in this chronic state of overwhelm that it seems like a good idea And that really might be just because the prefrontal cortex is smaller because habitually you've been in the state Of overwhelm which causes you to make poorer decisions or you make a decision that you just know isn't The best decision for you now. It is interesting the last Week or two i've been in a heightened perceived state and of course Like I mentioned having a increased stress state where your increased cortisol and adrenaline to do certain things Is completely normal in life. It's how long do you stay in that? Level of stress of that high cortisol state And so the past a week or two i've been in a heightened perceived stress state And what that looks like for me as I feel Constricted my body feels tight.

I feel like if I move my head to the right or left i'm gonna get a crick in it because it's just I i'm just too tense in order to to be able to move it on its pivot. I'm less focused I have more of a dry mouth I am not sleeping as well all of these things And when it's going on almost two weeks of that then I know that I need to do something differently I know that it's actually my perceived stress that's causing me to have these physiological symptoms or these physical symptoms and not Really that a tiger is running at me And so that the first piece of this always is just to be aware like where are you in your life? Are you in this state of really heightened? um Heightened like hyper awareness. Are you hyper aware about everything and that can maybe give you a sign that you're in this Perceived stress state and why is knowing that you're in a perceived stress state important? The reason why it is so important is because you can change it And I think that I need to say that again for those of you in the back When you recognize that you're in this perceived state it's a perception your mind is telling your brain that you're in this heightened vigilant state and so When you're in this heightened vigilant state this affects our hormones This affects our gut this affects ourselves And if we don't do anything about it, and we continue just to normalize that this is okay Then we're in a world of hurt as a society.

So let's just talk about the perceived stress downline so what happens when your mind tells your brain which triggers the amygdala the fear center of your brain and it tells the hypothalamus pituitary adrenal gland also called hpa axis that there's a threat and then your body pumps out cortisol and Adrenaline your heart rate increases your blood sugar spikes your digestion Slows your mouth gets dry. Like I mentioned you enter that fight flight freeze mode And you do that right when you're scrolling through instagram or you're running late for school pickup Which i'm going to be if I don't finish this episode really quickly And basically it has this chronic activation this dysregulation that occurs And when this stress pattern happens all the time, then it can disrupt our hormones the estrogen and progesterone imbalance It weakens our immune system. I've done episodes on this before it increases inflammation.

It wrecks havoc on our sleep mood and metabolism You're in that oh gosh, what do they call it? It's that wired and tired state you're tired But you're wired my kids get like that way a lot at night But that's how i've been feeling recently too So where does this perceived stress come from if you recognize that you are in more of a chronic state of this? It could be cultural conditioning to Do more be more and fix everything. It could be lack of boundaries You know that you shouldn't necessarily be doing things but you feel like you should so some people pleasing aspects this internalized urgency, right so like you feel like we got to do everything right now or That something horrible is going to go on so past trauma or uh, which is chronic overstimulation growing up being hyper vigilant growing up could also Cause you to be in more of the chronic state and y'all your perceived stress is not a flaw It's just a signal and it's a wise one. It's asking you to come home to yourself So there's a couple of things that I like to do when i'm in these this moment of perceived stress Is I like to recognize it, you know, like hey, I have all of these things going on in my life And they're all a choice like even having kids was a choice for Myself so even though they might be having their thing as teenager or a nine-year-old It was still a choice for me to have kids.

So I have to recognize that that is my responsibility pulling myself back and looking at it more of a bird's eye view that This is just a quick moment in time that were these teeny tiny little ants in this large universe And this is just the way it is at this moment. I also recognize that Right now with my perceived stress, you know, I have things going on with the kids school. It's the end of the school year I'm working at a clinic again I am, you know have my business on the side I'm also creating this 21-day summit.

My kid's birthday's coming up. All the things are happening And again, it's all choice. I can back away from being a board member.

I can Back away from doing the summit. I can back away from the clinic. I can back away from everything and if I just left myself with just working and Managing the kids although that still is so much.

It's not as much as I have on my plate right now So so recognizing that just helps like okay. This is my life. These are the things that i'm choosing because I love them Therefore i'm gonna have a good attitude about it kind of thing Always do your body scan first to just make sure you can recognize when you're in this heightened stress state Name it right so you gotta name it to tame it And you create these cues and This one woman I was talking to in the interview.

She said that she uses the word open when she's in that constricted state It now helps her just recognize that she can Release some of that that pent-up energy and stress. She worded it so beautifully. You have to listen to that episode Dr. Keisha's episode when it comes out But you want to find something that's kind of your cue of safety so you can relax out of that Heightened state that perceived stress state you can smell an essential oil You can take some deep breaths, which you know are always my favorite.

You can listen to some music You can have a word or a mantra something that kind of gets you out of it And then you want to rewire your narrative like I do This is something that i've chosen I can choose not to do it Even when you think like there's no way I can get out of it. Yes There is like I said, i'm on the board at my kids school Which is a three-year commitment, but I could quit tomorrow. I've only been doing it for one year.

I could quit tomorrow I mean I if it's Not good for my health then i'm gonna take off right? This is the most important thing You are the most important thing in your life. You have to prioritize yourself And using this mantra like this is not an emergency Think about what a true emergency is and say this is not an emergency I remember that we are living the life of a queen and when we live the life of a queen In our perimenopausal menopausal state then we really look at we say ice can stand firm And my resolve in my boundaries I know what they are and i'm also the nurturer And I love those and care for those around me and I can do both at the same time But most importantly, I know what my boundaries are I know what I need to feel fresh rejuvenated alive Safe in my body and that can also be such a beautiful mantra So again, you don't have to eliminate stress. You can just change your relationship with it And maybe that's what I should have been saying in this podcast all along is that it's not about eliminating stress It's about what is your relationship to the stress? You could have five moms with two children and each of those moms could have a different idea Or have a different relationship with the stress of having two kids I always say that I don't have the resilience or stress threshold in order to have more children I see people with five children and they just seem like they are so easy breezy with their kids And maybe I would have learned it at some point but my perceived stress would have been a lot higher so it's more of like how can we have this relationship with the stress that we have but it's a really good moment where When you're in this perceived stress is that you just want to look in at other people Maybe even imagine the people around the world all within the same stress that you the ones that maybe can handle it More or less than you and you know Hold all those people together in your mind's eye and take a deep breath and release it and see if that changes your perceived stress Would love to know what you thought about this episode I know I was speaking faster than normal and that is because I have to give my kids So I yeah, keep an eye out for the series that's going to be coming up.

I'm really excited about it My kid's birthday is coming up. He's going to be 10, which I can't believe it So i'm going to have two kids in double digits I am absolutely slowing down time because as much as I love how my 13 year old can have these Really deep thoughts and we can have this amazing conversation He's also still 13 and so I am willing to hold on to my little 10 year old a little bit longer and the fact that I am Preserving him in this podcast episode is just it seems really cool to me I've never thought of this podcast being like this little time capsule for My life as well So that's very precious and i'm so grateful and thankful that you are here as always and I will see You all soon and before I go Let me leave you with the moment that you realize that your stress is not about your situation But about how your body perceives it you can take your power back and this is all about empowerment and as always go down and download the One-page pdf the little workbook that we have to go along with today's episode about perceived stress and i'll see you soon The world needs the vibrance and wisdom of a woman's intuition to help heal the world When we learn to trust ourselves through leaning into and through discomfort We learn to trust ourselves and in that space is our power and clarity