EP 71 - Energy, Nervous System & the Hidden Cost of Doing Too Much

In this episode of The Habit Within, I continue our Summit Series with two powerful voices who share the real truths behind vitality, burnout, and what it really means to feel “well.”

I sit down with Krisstina Wise, a financial expert turned wellness warrior, who learned the hard way that energy—not money—is our most valuable currency. She opens up about how she rebuilt her health after a total collapse, the daily non-negotiables in her routine (spoiler: it's not just about food and exercise), and the powerful mindset shift that changed everything: believing she is worthy of investing in her own wellness.

Then I’m joined by Courtney Rolfe, a trauma-informed therapist who breaks down how our nervous systems are constantly communicating with us—and how we can listen more closely. She shares what true regulation looks and feels like, why setting boundaries is a radical act of midlife self-care, and what to do when you don’t show up as your best self (because hello, we all go there).

If you’re done with the hustle, the quick fixes, and surface-level self-care, this conversation is a must. We're talking about deep, embodied energy—the kind that sustains you. The kind your future self will thank you for.

✨ Let’s get into it.

Learn more from Krisstina Wise
Instagram: @krisstinawise
LinkedIn: Krisstina Wise
YouTube: Krisstina Wise Channel

Learn more from Courtney Rolfe
Visit: www.modernmindandheart.com

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Transcript

(0:00 - 0:15)

Welcome back to The Habit Within. We are continuing our summer series where we follow up with our favorite summit speakers. And don't worry, you don't have to have watched the summit in order to gain the wisdom from these conversations.

(0:16 - 0:36)

Basically what I'm doing is I'm asking these women, really share with us how you stay on point and on purpose and vital and energetic and confident in your own life and can you share it with us? So let's go ahead and dive into this series. But I just wanna say that this is not just like recapping what they talked about in the summit. This is truly, really going a lot deeper.

(0:36 - 1:12)

It's a way to extend and embody the bigger message that's pulsing through everything that I share and what I'm really seeing that women really want right now in this world. Women's wellness needs a complete redefinition and that is what we're doing here in this podcast. So for far too long, we've been treating women as these mechanical, hormone-driven puzzles to fix when in truth, we are these living, rhythmic, quantum beings, mind, body, spirit, energy and all of that matters so much when we're looking at confidence and vitality.

(1:13 - 1:29)

And when we aren't really at the center of our own wellness, then that's really when it all falls apart. That's when our system falls apart. So in today's episode, you're gonna hear from two phenomenal women whose stories really deeply reflect this truth.

(1:29 - 1:46)

We have Christina Wise. She's a financial powerhouse who learned firsthand that energy and not money is our greatest currency. After a major health collapse, she discovered that true wealth is built on boundaries, light rest and nervous system care.

(1:46 - 2:04)

Her story is a wake-up call for anyone who's been successful, quote-unquote, on the outside, but secretly burning out on the inside. Then we have Courtney Rolfe, a trauma-informed therapist and educator. She helps us tune into the body's subtle language before it starts a yelling at us.

(2:04 - 2:25)

She shares how we miss early signs of dysregulation and how returning to safety within our nervous system is a radical, essential act of midlife wellness. So together, these conversations mirror what I see in so many of the women I support. They're done with the surface-level fixes.

(2:26 - 3:03)

They know that they don't work, that if you want true, real, integrated tools to reclaim your energy and trust your body and finally live in a way that feels sustainable and true, that, you know, we gotta go deeper. We have to go deeper. And this is exactly the kind of conversation that becomes the foundation for deeper work that I guide women through without pressure or overwhelm or quick fixes or any of the masculine-driven aspects of, like, you have to do this, you should do this.

(3:03 - 3:14)

It's really more about listening and fine-tuning what you believe the next steps are. So let's go ahead and dive right in. Hi, Christina Wise.

(3:14 - 3:45)

Thank you for joining us on today's podcast where we are going deeper with our favorite speakers from the Summit. And I'm asking the question of how do you stay vital and energetic and really on purpose in your own life? And can you teach us? So often, I think that we're really naturally good at something, or maybe it's something that we've had to learn and practice, and we just do it on autopilot. And so we wanna know your tips and tricks and your magical ways.

(3:46 - 4:07)

Well, that's a big question. Since I see everything through the lens of money, being a money coach and financial educator, I like to put things in money terms. And so to start with, I like to look at my body and my health as an investment.

(4:08 - 4:31)

And so that means that I need to invest time and money into my wellness if I want the return to be that vitality. And that's like a mindset. So I'd say just say, like that's a belief system, is that if I want to get the return out of my body, which is vitality, then I need to put the investment in to get that return.

(4:32 - 4:40)

And that's financial speak. You make an investment to get a certain return. So I like to think of it that way because that is just like some universal law.

(4:41 - 4:57)

So that's the thinking. Then a mindset underneath that, that I've certainly developed that wasn't born with this, but it's this belief of I'm worthy. And this real belief that I am worthy.

(4:59 - 5:05)

I am worthy of this invest in myself. I'm worthy to be happy. I'm worthy to be healthy.

(5:06 - 5:13)

I'm worthy to have a good life. And I love myself. So that's like this mindset underneath.

(5:14 - 5:33)

And then there's this relationship and it's having a relationship with my body. And that relationship is this dance where I actually talk to my body. And it sounds something like I get regular lab work.

(5:34 - 6:00)

And my God, I had this whole few years ago, I was on round after round after round of antibiotics because I was just having these chronic UTIs. And so I'm not big on antibiotics, but antibiotics would be the only thing that would create any relief. And then, but they would come back because I was just becoming antibiotic resistance and all the things.

(6:00 - 6:11)

So it just wreaked horrible. I fixed it through a whole series of things, but it wreaked havoc on my GI. I mean, I eat a healthy diet.

(6:12 - 6:18)

I drink clean water. I have filters in every room. So I have a very clean environment and pay attention to this.

(6:19 - 6:40)

But regardless, my gut was wrecked. So all this lab work really pointed out how bad it was with leaky gut and kind of placebo. And it was depressing in a way, because I work so hard to have good health and then have this as something I had to deal with was like, was just really frustrating, but it was what it was.

(6:41 - 6:56)

So then I went and just spent time with me and sat out on a bench outside with nature and had this conversation with my body. And I said, body, things are messed up. And I know you know how to heal.

(6:57 - 7:05)

You're so intelligent when it comes to healing. You know exactly what to do. And I'm so grateful for you, my body.

(7:06 - 7:19)

I'm so grateful for your ability to heal. I'm so grateful that you work so hard to get me up every single day and do all the things. And you give me this ability to work and enjoy life and go ski or go walk the dog.

(7:20 - 7:24)

I'm so grateful to you, body. Thank you so much. I know you work hard.

(7:25 - 7:37)

On top of the fact that now we have this thing called this GI stuff that we need to fix together. So I know you're gonna do your part because you do what you do. And I'm gonna promise you I'm gonna do my part.

(7:38 - 7:48)

I'm gonna, I've got the labs. I've gotta make some changes. I have to go on a low FODMAP diet, which is the most boring diet in the world because it just took out onions and garlic and everything.

(7:48 - 8:01)

And I'm not happy about it because I love onion and garlic and food, but I'm gonna do my part. So we're partners in this together. I just want you to know, body of mine, that I'm gonna do my piece because I know you will do yours.

(8:01 - 8:13)

And if I give you what you need, you're gonna heal us together. So that's that relationship piece. So it's like looking at things again, I teach a lot of like just mindset and perspective.

(8:13 - 8:24)

And that's, that becomes, that comes before the stuff. And I just like to share that because I think it's an important piece. And so it's this partnership with my body.

(8:25 - 8:34)

It's a love of me and feeling worthy that makes me wanna create a partnership with my body. And then it's this partnership where we're gonna accomplish something together. So that's that.

(8:34 - 8:40)

Now that's to fix something. Then just overall vitality. It's just lifestyle.

(8:41 - 9:08)

And that lifestyle is designed around the goal, which is to have a lot of vitality and energy and all the stuff that I can really enjoy life to its fullest at whatever age I'm at. And at my age, people have no idea my age and I can outperform people in many cases, like half my age and so forth. So what it looks like in a day to day, I exercise pretty much every day.

(9:08 - 9:20)

I put in 10,000 steps on my treadmill when I'm working almost every day. I do heavy weights to three times a week for my muscle mass. I have a very healthy diet, all organic foods.

(9:20 - 9:30)

I wear my Whoop watch to track my sleep, for example. So I just do all the things. None of it is rocket science.

(9:30 - 9:42)

Eat a clean diet, lots of clean meats, healthy vegetables, everything organic and drink clean water. Everything's filtered. The whole house has a water filtration system, for example.

(9:42 - 9:54)

Have clean air with filtered air. Get regular labs, always working on detox and different protocols like that. Obviously, when things are broken, go to fix them right away, don't let them linger.

(9:55 - 10:04)

And I think that's it. Like I said, nothing that is magic. I mean, I do still do some biohacking things also.

(10:04 - 10:21)

I mean, I sauna. Sauna's really a big part of my protocol. I do red light therapy at, it's called Upgrade Labs, but I do the kind of real high intense red light therapy that's really good for mitochondrial support and detox and other system maintenance.

(10:21 - 10:34)

And then I do PEMF, P-M-F, just to keep my electricals and my cells working a certain way. So I'd say those are kind of the additional outside of just lifestyle stuff that I insert into my routine. So that's it.

(10:35 - 10:47)

So I love, Christina, that you said there's nothing magical that you do. And I'm going to tell you that what you're doing is magical because of the way that you speak to yourself. That is not common.

(10:48 - 11:19)

And one of the follow-up questions I usually have for people is what are the mantras, what are the things that you say to yourself, the positive things that you say to yourself to keep you going and to be vital and on purpose? And the way that you speak to your body is absolutely magnificent. So this is why I love doing this series is because most people don't see the, they don't see those holes. They don't see the magic in what they're doing on a day-to-day basis.

(11:19 - 11:50)

So the mindset piece that you've instilled in your life is so important. And I really believe that's why you're going to live to be a hundred and something because that's what your goal is. And then one last question for you is, as we all do, there are the days that we'll end up eating something that, you know, maybe overeating or over drinking or not getting great sleep because we have all these projects that we're doing, or maybe our body does feel like it's turning on us in these moments.

(11:51 - 12:27)

How do you get back to feeling vital and energetic and on purpose? Like what are the things that you do to auto-correct? Yeah, first of all, like before I got sick, like me getting sick was my wake up. And I love that you're doing the summit and things like this because if we can work on health before it's a crisis, it's a much better path. I mean, it's a, so I don't want, I do these because I don't want anyone to wind up in the health crisis I was in.

(12:27 - 12:41)

So I always call it kind of pre-health crisis, post-health crisis, but the crisis was my wake up. So have the wake up before the crisis is the wake up. And there's a quote that says, change never happens until there's a crisis.

(12:41 - 12:49)

That was me. But before I had no off button, it was just go all the time. So I was always chasing something.

(12:50 - 13:02)

And it seemed like a sprint always, because no matter what, you know, I always set these big goals for myself and it was a sprint to get there as fast as I could and I'd hit it and then I was off to the next sprint. So there was no pause. There was no slow down.

(13:02 - 13:11)

It was as fast as I could go all the time. So I was trying to get somewhere like that. I don't know where I was trying to go, but that was that.

(13:12 - 13:23)

And what I did, the reason why I had a stress stroke is because I didn't have any monitor system. I was so checked out of my body. This relationship I have with my body now, that wasn't pre-crisis.

(13:24 - 13:37)

Pre-crisis was use my body thinking it would never drop. I just used it like a machine and just pushed it to full velocity without any maintenance whatsoever. And it came at a heavy price.

(13:38 - 13:56)

So that was that. And I didn't realize the reason why the stress stroke happened, which again was a domino to just a whole list of things that happened after that, was because I was highly anxious all the time. I ran an anxiety and I was used to it.

(13:56 - 14:20)

I didn't know that I was like, I had one panic attack in my life, but I wasn't like experiencing anxiety like symptoms. I was high performing, but I didn't realize that that high performance was all anxiety driven, like high anxiety, high performance on top of it. So somehow that anxiety propelled me to success as opposed to breaking me like it does some people.

(14:20 - 14:33)

I never felt a form of suffering from it until it was my body broke down. So I was unaware. Now, I am a creator.

(14:33 - 14:40)

I'm a business owner. I do a lot of stuff. And I love succeeding at things.

(14:42 - 14:55)

The difference now is that I have a monitoring system that I'm so in tune with my body that I'm like, oh, I feel that nervous energy. That anxiety just snuck in. There's my little flag.

(14:56 - 15:03)

My body's telling me, hey, sister, you're pushing it too hard. It's time to step back. You need to go take care of us.

(15:03 - 15:14)

And let's go get a massage. Let's go to the spa, take a weekend off. The world's not gonna, you know, the business isn't gonna fall apart if you take a week.

(15:14 - 15:23)

So that's the difference. It's just being really in tune with my body because our bodies tell us. Our bodies tell us what it needs.

(15:23 - 15:38)

Our bodies tell us when it's too much. But when we're not paying attention, because we're so extended in the external world out there, we don't recognize those. And I mean, I had so many flags of my body telling me, hey, sister, this is not gonna go well.

(15:39 - 15:44)

Something needs to change. But I was oblivious. Like, looking back, I'm like, oh my God, there was one flag after another.

(15:44 - 15:52)

And I was not paying attention. But my body was screaming at me until finally it just said, I tried to warn you. You didn't listen.

(15:52 - 16:03)

And now you pushed me too far. So that's how I do is I just, I take care of myself. I make sure I get my walks in and, you know, I do some meditations here and there and the stuff.

(16:03 - 16:13)

But more importantly, it's just recognizing when there's a sign. Back off without any guilt and just like time to chill. Yeah, I love that.

(16:13 - 16:51)

So you broke your addiction to the emotion or the feeling of anxiety, right? Joe Dispenza's work. And then you learned to recognize being self-aware that there is a cue that your body tells you that you're gonna go into the red zone, that you're going overboard and that you've learned to trust yourself that when you do that, then you can pull back the reins and do the tools in your toolkit in order to bring you back to a place that feels more calm and peaceful. Yeah, recognizing that piece and then doing like intentionally changing something.

(16:51 - 16:58)

Now that's when that again, there's that cue. There's a little on the dashboard. It's like, hey, a little yellow light.

(16:58 - 17:06)

And now I pay attention to that. At the same time over here is that I've got, I do my red light. I do my pimp.

(17:07 - 17:11)

I do my sauna. I do my walks. I'm an exerciser.

(17:11 - 17:23)

When I exercise, I'm in there to build muscle and do the things. But a walk's not that. A walk is just to be out with the dog, being in nature and doing the things, just to chill, just to walk.

(17:23 - 17:38)

Without, it's not connected to exercise whatsoever. So those lifestyle habits and practices, I buy massages a year in advance and have them pre-scheduled. So they're already on the calendar.

(17:38 - 17:41)

I'm not trying to fit them in. They're all scheduled. They rarely change.

(17:41 - 17:58)

Sometimes something comes up and I have to shift it, but I call the place. I go like, hey, can I move it from this week to next week? So I'd say that's another piece. It's monitoring when maybe I'm just right there on the edge that I need to pull the rain, just need to take my foot off the gas pedal a little bit and coast for a little while.

(17:59 - 18:17)

I can put the pedal back on, my foot back on the gas later. But while at the same time making sure that these things are built in, like to what we talked about at the very beginning, I don't have to try to find the time or I can't afford a massage or whatever things can easily go. Pre-bought, pre-scheduled, bought them at a discount.

(18:17 - 18:24)

So I bought 12 up front versus one at a time. That's the money advice there. But more importantly, it's not about the money.

(18:25 - 18:32)

It's about the commitment. So just to make sure that those little things are built in and guilt-free. Love it.

(18:32 - 18:44)

Thank you so much for sharing this little droplet of wisdom to our listeners. And you'll find Christina Wise in the links below in the show notes. We'll talk to you soon.

(18:45 - 19:05)

Hey, Courtney, thank you so much for joining this follow-up with your favorite speaker after the summit. Your talk was just so informative about the polyvagal theory and our nervous system. But more importantly, you are such a real person.

(19:06 - 19:33)

It's just, I was mentioning to you after the interview that I felt very drawn in and very like, even though you were speaking mainly, I felt like you accepted me for who I was. And I don't know if that's like a natural ability of yours, if it's something that you learned. And so I ask all speakers to, all guests, to talk about like how they stay energetic and on purpose in their own lives.

(19:33 - 20:25)

But I'm actually curious about that question is like how, and is this something that you've always had where you just make people feel comfortable and with this ability to kind of want to lean into or is it something that you've learned? And can you share it with us? I think what you're talking about is a regulated nervous system. Honestly, I think that's what you feel because then that, you know, is it learned and is it natural? It's both hands, right? It's fostered and supported and developed with conscious awareness and we all have access to that. So this kind of drops right back into that question of what do we do with this information? We start to track our own systems and then we start to figure out what we need.

(20:25 - 20:48)

So I think one of the most powerful things we can do in the world is show up with a regulated nervous system, right? Because what that does is here, we're communicating safety. We're communicating welcome or broadcasting safety to those around us. And the more we can hold our own ventral space, right? Ventral is that regulated state where my survival states are not needed.

(20:49 - 21:07)

I can stay present with anything that's here and I can hold space for more and more and more the more I develop my capacity to stay in ventral and hold space for others. That's what co-regulation is. So I send ventral regulated energy to your nervous system.

(21:07 - 21:17)

Your nervous system picks up on it under the radar, not a conscious process and that then sends signals to your system. I'm safe here. I can also be regulated.

(21:17 - 21:35)

Now, if I showed up with a lot of activation, your system would pick that up and also get activated. And we all know that experience, right? Somebody comes in and they're highly, highly strong or highly anxious in that moment and then your system amps up. Well, we do the exact same, but with regulation.

(21:35 - 21:41)

So I think that's what you're talking about is regulated nervous system. That's where we're at. Oh, that is.

(21:42 - 21:45)

That's exactly what I'm talking about. It's that connection. Yeah.

(21:45 - 22:11)

And it is the way that you show up. And it's so interesting too, because it's even on the phone or on Zoom that you can still have that, yeah, that, because we would say that's kind of like a feeling to be regulated. But you mentioned at the end of our series about actually how we can read that on somebody's face.

(22:11 - 22:28)

Yes, we can. Face, body language, gestures, movements, posture, all of it. We do all these really cool little things to send cues of safety to other nervous systems without realizing it.

(22:29 - 22:40)

And then we can co-regulate, right? And then we co-regulate. Yeah. So we can all add, what message is my nervous system sending any given moment? Yeah, I love that.

(22:40 - 23:16)

Okay, so what did you wanna share? So that was like my piece where I was like, oh, I wanna, I'm so curious on what your response would be to that. Do you have anything that's like specific that you wanted to share to our listeners about, yeah, like how you live your life to make sure that you're like staying, I guess, with an integrity of who you wanna be. Yeah, I'm a pretty big fan of living a life that supports the nervous system as much as possible, right? Because I think that really is our superpower, is our ability to find our way back to regulation.

(23:16 - 24:12)

And then, even beyond that, offer it to others. And kind of going back to that, when we talked about doing the in-depth inventory, we wanna be really consciously aware. We wanna know, what am I doing? And sometimes the things that we think are bringing us, quote-unquote, like comfort or ease, in the bigger picture, are they actually supporting a nervous system-driven life? So, you know, using substances or zoning out games on the phone or what else, you know, maybe constantly thrill-seeking, but not ever really finding space for stillness or, you know, being in relationships that have your, that's like up and down, up and down, you know, but your nervous system, you may have a lot of fun in that, but it also ends up being a whole lot of work for your nervous system to keep up.

(24:12 - 25:10)

And so just, you know, kind of like setting those boundaries or making those decisions to really honor what your system needs moment to moment and fight for it, right? That's one beautiful thing that perimenopausal women are doing is like setting boundaries and getting, you know, finally sort of like pursuing what they want after taking care of everybody for so long. So if what I know that I need is I have to make sure I get in the gym three times a week, or I have to make sure I go on a nature walk every couple of days, then I need to honor my nervous system and figure out how do I make sure that that happens? Because I can show up better for everybody else, my clients, my spouse, my, you know, everybody, if I take care of my nervous system and really, you know, honor what it needs to stay nourished and to stay regulated, so. So you mentioned in our talk that, you know, we're human and we have these automatic responses.

(25:10 - 25:50)

And so I'm assuming that you're not excluded from that. Oh, because if you were, I'd be like, teach us that. But so what happens when you do have maybe a reaction that you've mentioned before, that it's really not the right thing that you wanted to do in the moment? How do you talk to yourself after that? Like, how do you get yourself like to not feel guilt and shame for maybe something that you did or said or how you responded? The more we refine our ability to track our nervous system, the more we can interrupt some of that or we can see it coming or we can resource more and more quickly.

(25:51 - 25:58)

And so it's sort of part of the journey, I think. But, you know, yeah, absolutely. I go into activation, I go into dorsal.

(25:58 - 26:05)

Usually we kind of have one home away from home stronger than the other. So mine happens to be dorsal. So I'm much more inclined to shut down.

(26:05 - 26:24)

I kind of go away and, you know, have to climb my way back up and some people hang out in that like, you know, more activated state. But to be able to notice and name what the state, like where I'm at, like, that's the first thing. And then a couple of sort of like, quote unquote rules, I guess.

(26:25 - 26:42)

Like I'm naming quotes because I know people are listening, but it's gonna be, you know, you're not gonna be able to resolve relational conflict when you're activated. You're not gonna be able to, you're not gonna make your best decisions when you're activated. Like you really want to try to show up in ventral.

(26:42 - 26:56)

And if you're not in ventral, take a moment, figure out what you need. Maybe go straight to the physiological, right? It's not, it doesn't have to be complicated. Maybe I need some nice out breaths or, you know, I need to sing.

(26:56 - 27:09)

That's a really regulating thing. Or maybe I need, you know, whatever it is that I need and try to get back to a place where then I can show up and manage whatever it is. Rupture happens in relationship.

(27:09 - 27:27)

Absolutely, always does, right? And so what happens in rupture is we lose our nervous system safety with each other and we can't regain it just like that because we named what's happening. We got to circle back around and figure out what do we need to reestablish that safety together? And it might be apologies. It might be time.

(27:28 - 27:35)

It might be a hug. It might be who knows what, right? So yeah, we all get activated. We either get, you know, we might have outbursts.

(27:35 - 27:39)

We might go into shutdown. We want to name it. We want to care for ourselves.

(27:39 - 28:02)

Maybe we can even tell the people around us what we need from them and support. That's a great skill to learn too, right? And then find our way back. Yeah, I think one of the things I noticed is I have a tendency for both of those, but the outburst and what I'm, you know, what I'm identifying with, the perimenopausal rage that can happen.

(28:03 - 28:21)

And then, but the shutdown when I just need a moment. And I think when having children specifically is this fear of stonewalling, right? Of like, so I've been naming that with my kids. Like, okay, I just need a moment.

(28:21 - 28:34)

Like it's, I need my moment. This isn't, doesn't have to do with you, but just give me a second. And typically when I can do that, then it's usually five to 10 minutes.

(28:34 - 29:11)

And then I'm like, okay, cool. Is there, I know I said this is going to be short, but I have one more little question for you about, is there, I think I read somewhere that after like a couple of minutes of kind of that reaction that we have and the chemical response that we have in our body, that then it becomes kind of a choice after that on whether we want to continue to feed it, like to feed that chemical response or to feed, or to keep that part of our nervous system activated. It's kind of that choice point of like, okay, I can continue.

(29:11 - 29:23)

I can continue to feel this way, or I've already had that initial automatic response. Now I have that ability to change out. Yeah, I think that depends on everyone's level of awareness.

(29:23 - 29:43)

And that's where these practices really come into play because we can build our awareness. We can literally build the neural networks to become more and more aware of our internal experience. And so there's lots of, whether it's nervous system guided therapy or work or whatever, there's like lots of ways to do that, but we can keep building that.

(29:43 - 29:59)

So I think if someone doesn't have that pathway of communication yet with their body, it's gonna be easier said than done to just sort of interrupt that process, but that's something you can all work to build. And then even just sort of just, I love what you're saying when I was thinking about