EP 73 - How She Stays On Purpose (Even When Life Gets Messy)

Welcome back to The Habit Within! I’m Camille Kinzler, and in this episode of our Summer Series, I had the honor of talking with two incredible women who are living with intention, showing up fully—even in the middle of real, messy, everyday life.

We often think that living "on purpose" means having it all together. But what if purpose isn’t about perfection—it’s about alignment, grace, and showing up anyway?

In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Kayla Abeid and Renae Fieck, two women who embody what it means to live intentionally while navigating all the things: motherhood, careers, transitions, and growth. They each bring their own perspective on staying grounded, honoring your energy, and choosing presence—even when life feels like a lot.

In this episode, we explore:

• How Dr. Kayla navigates life as a mom, therapist, and entrepreneur—without letting burnout take the lead.
• Why choosing purpose isn’t always a big, dramatic moment—it’s often quiet, consistent, and deeply personal.
• The power of nervous system awareness and practical mindset tools to help you stay grounded and focused.
• How Renae moves through chaos with intention, and why creating white space in your schedule might be the thing your soul is craving.
• Reframing productivity and redefining success, especially in seasons of motherhood or transition.

This one’s for you if you’re feeling stretched, spinning too many plates, or just needing a gentle reminder that you can still be on purpose—even in the messy middle.

I’d love to hear from you:
Send me a message or leave a review if this conversation speaks to you. And if you know someone who needs to hear this today, share it with them.

Learn More from Dr. Kayla Abeid

Instagram: @drkaylaabeid
Website: drkaylaabeid.com

Learn More from Renae Fieck

Instagram: @renaefieck
Podcast & Resources: renaefieck.com/podcast

If You Loved This Episode…

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It’s gentle, powerful, and made for this exact season of life.

👉 Click here to learn more or join the waitlist 

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Transcript

(0:00 - 0:05)

Hey there. Welcome back to the habit with men. I'm Camille and this is your space.

(0:05 - 0:23)

This is the space for you to really reimagine what is possible in midlife and beyond. And it, this summer I'm I've put together this little mini series that's very close to my heart. It's where I interview women who are powerful and passionate.

(0:23 - 0:36)

There are leaders, healers, mamas, and all the things in between. And they're just really living life fully aligned with their purpose. And I really want to know, like, all right, well, tell us how you do it.

(0:36 - 1:31)

Tell us how you live on purpose. And then give us the real, like what happens when life gets in the way? What happens when life life's like, give us your, not just like, you know, what you would put on Instagram, but really like, what do you do in your day-to-day life? So that's what we're going to do today. So why this is so important to me is because I feel like that more often than not, I've been in the season where I've had to use all of the tools in my tool belt in order to really stay on purpose and lit up and alive in my own life, because so often life feels like too much, if that means like a schedule that's overflowing to you, or if your emotions just feel more alive and active than normal.

(1:31 - 1:55)

Or if your children's emotions feel more alive or active or your partner or your work fam, just basically, if you feel like your energy is just kind of, yeah, it's just hard to keep that consistent energy, then you're in the right place. And I see you and I feel you. And I feel like a lot of women that I speak to are feeling the same thing.

(1:56 - 2:42)

And so this is our opportunity to just return to our center, to remember that as long as we stay on purpose in our life, filled with purpose, that that's what we need to do is just put that one foot in front of the other and stay focused on that, really focusing on the flame of the candle and allow that to be our center of focus and not everything else around there, that that will really keep us feeling present and vital and energetic in our own life. So today you're going to hear from Renee and she's going to remind us that our breath is so, well, it's simple. It's something simple and free that you can do.

(2:42 - 2:54)

It's breathing. But that this, that the breath is something that can completely shift our nervous system and really bring us back to ourselves. And you can do that in just three minutes.

(2:54 - 3:19)

And we're going to also talk with Kayla and she's going to share with us about how human design and really embracing her natural rhythms gave her permission to be more herself, not less, especially when she is in these like messy moments of motherhood. I think she has three children. She has like an infant and she's has a couple of businesses.

(3:20 - 3:45)

And yeah, I mean, and a wife and a daughter and all of the things. So she's going to talk to us about the importance of breath. But each of these episodes, y'all, is just this invitation to really try on what resonates with you, leave what doesn't, but really just for you to kind of see if any of the things or techniques that these women are using is something that you can use in your own life, not just for more information.

(3:45 - 3:52)

I'm so tired of just consuming. Right. But actually, how can we really transform? Yeah.

(3:52 - 4:30)

So whether you're driving around, taking a walk or, you know, doing the chores at home, I really hope this series just makes you feel less alone and more inspired. And just want to remind you that that what you do and anything that you do and everything that you do is so important to this world and the more and more and more you continue to just be and learn more and more about who you are and what lights you up and what makes you alive will have this massive, massive ripple effect on those around you. And the world needs you, woman, just as you are.

(4:30 - 4:37)

So I hope you enjoyed the episode as much as I enjoyed making it for you. See you next week. Hey, Renee.

(4:37 - 4:55)

Thank you so much for joining us on the podcast. We follow up with our favorite speakers from the summit. So like I've been asking the ones before you is tell us how you stay on purpose, energized, vital, just really authentic to who you are in your life.

(4:55 - 5:21)

And can you teach us to teach it to us in 10 minutes or less? Yeah. I think one of the biggest things for me in like over the last couple of years of really learning to listen to my body and trusting my body and understanding what it means has, I will say breathwork, like breathwork has been one of those things that I just, I was very resistant to it. Initially, the first experience that I had with it was not so amazing and not so wonderful.

(5:21 - 5:36)

And then over time I had friends that were like, you should try it again. You should try it again. And once I tried it again in a safe environment with a practitioner who like held that safety and like knew what to do with it, it did, it completely changed everything.

(5:37 - 5:51)

And on those, like it's been one of those things where I don't have a ton of time to do a huge breathwork session every single day, but I can do three minutes. I could do five minutes. I can just focus and become aware and present of my breath.

(5:51 - 6:20)

And I find every time I focus on my breath, whether it's just like, how am I breathing right now? How can I slow down? How can I speed up? Like in the car, I'm holding my breath, make sure I'm breathing. It's so simple, but our breath is so powerful and it sets the foundation for so many other pieces that happen in our bodies and can downgrade and upgrade our energy, our nervous system, like so much. So I feel like it's one of those tools.

(6:20 - 6:26)

It's so simple, right? You could go and do a whole breathwork session. I know you do breathwork. I do breathwork.

(6:27 - 6:38)

You could find a breathwork practitioner in your area. You could do like a whole big session and we would love that. But also you literally could just breathe in your car.

(6:38 - 6:43)

Like you could be at your stop sign. It could be wherever. It could be setting an alarm and checking every hour.

(6:43 - 7:15)

Where's my breath at right now? It's such a simple, easy tool that so many of us are not taking on, like we're not using and utilizing, and yet it helps regulate so much of everything else that happens in our body. So, um, I don't know if you're like me, but even though we're breathwork facilitators, I sometimes forget that that's a 100% my in my house. So tell us, like, how do you remember, um, that you need to breathe, that you need to really put intention on it? Hmm.

(7:16 - 7:32)

Well, I think anytime you can find like a cue, like something where you're like, I'm like, I'm, this is going to be part of my habit. This is going to be part of my routine. So for me, for a long time, it was like, when I went to bed, I would turn on a little breathwork session and it would be five, 10 minutes.

(7:32 - 7:43)

And so I would breathe right before bed. Or, you know, when I was on my way to the hospital, I'd get to the hospital. I'd be like three minutes, I'm going to just sit here and I'm going to breathe for three minutes before I go in.

(7:43 - 8:02)

So finding those like places where you're going to be like, this is an intentional place, I'm going to cue to do it. I find in the car is a big place where I notice my breath more than other places. And so just getting into the habit of that, of like, where's my breath at right now? Like, Oh, I'm holding, like, that was a big thing.

(8:02 - 8:26)

When I went through the breathwork training, I was like, I hold my breath a lot of the time, not a ton, like not to where I'm like passing out, but we're holding, and when we're holding our breath, it's like, we talked about before, like the nervous system in this place of fight or fight, like we have to protect ourselves. And there was so much breath holding that I've gotten. I think for me, it's just that constant, like checking in.

(8:26 - 9:08)

Am I holding my breath? Am I holding my breath? Like, where am I at? And just like, can I just like exhale out every so often? I don't know if that's really helpful, but yeah, no, no, no, absolutely. So like if you're, when you're in your car and you catch yourself holding your breath, do you notice if it's like that you have tension in your shoulders or in your back or that your, your thoughts change? Like, is there something else that kind of triggers you that you could be holding your breath before you recognize that that's what you're actually doing? I feel like for me, I noticed, like, I think it comes from the belly. So I don't know if my belly, like it's almost like my belly feels like it rises, like it's like contracts upward.

(9:08 - 9:18)

If inside, if that makes sense, it's like a really weird description. But I notice that it's like almost. Like the inside gets hollow and pulled out, if that makes sense.

(9:18 - 9:27)

And that's where I, what I noticed. So like physiologically I'm like, and then it's the like, Oh, exhale out. So like the release.

(9:27 - 9:40)

So it probably is a sense of internal tension. Like I'm kind of picking up on that feeling of like, my body's probably like, breathe, please, we can't breathe, you know, but it, it is. It's like after it's the exhale.

(9:40 - 10:29)

I mean, you could notice it too. Like if you're gripping the steering wheel, like I remember driving on a really crazy road and I was gripping so badly, my entire body was like tense and tight, it was like dark and going around these corners and I was like, okay, just breathe and you notice like, as you breathe, your body does the tension goes away, it releases a little bit, but it, it's something, like I said, I think it's something we just don't do because we don't think it's that important or it's not that big or it's not that is it, we didn't spend thousands of dollars on it, like our red light therapy or whatever. And so we underestimate it, but it's with us anywhere we are, like going on stage, speaking on a summit, going in the car, getting in, like going into anywhere.

(10:29 - 10:41)

Like that is one of my most powerful tools is like closing my eyes and just. It literally can change so much. Like you can release so much by just taking a big, deep breath.

(10:42 - 10:48)

And I think we underestimate it. It's not just for yoga class. No, no.

(10:49 - 10:51)

Yeah. I love that. Thank you so much for highlighting the breath.

(10:51 - 11:02)

It is so important and it's free and you can do it anywhere. So we really appreciate your wisdom and you can find Renee in the show notes. Thanks so much.

(11:06 - 11:32)

Hello, Kayla. Thank you so much for coming on this podcast series where we just get to know the summit speakers a little bit more. And I ask everyone, like, how do you stay vital and energetic and on purpose in your own life, especially with three kids, one of those being a newborn, a very full business and wearing multiple hats? Like, how do you do it? Well, can you teach us? Yes.

(11:33 - 11:45)

So I have so many beautiful gifted tools that I've been able to download. Yeah. Over the past several decades of living and experiencing this beautiful earth.

(11:45 - 12:25)

And one of them is just learning more about who I am and learning about who I am from a standpoint of not my physical being, but what my body communicates to me and also my design. And so I'm not a human design expert or an astrological astrology expert, but I do utilize those tools to learn more about the aha moments that I have and really how my body functions. So something really profound to me after having been a burnt out business owner and practitioner for several, several years and having to really start from the bottom of putting myself back in and saying, okay, I am having children.

(12:25 - 12:27)

I'm a mom. I'm a wife. I'm a friend.

(12:27 - 12:32)

I'm a business owner. I own another business. Like how do I handle this? And that was really learning through my human design.

(12:32 - 12:49)

So for me, being a one three manifester was really freeing and sovereign to me to learn that I am a super creative being. I have a lot of initiations of creation that I just explode into. And then I go into a really deep rest state.

(12:49 - 13:01)

And I always wondered and thought to myself, I would never survive in a nine to five setting. And I actually wasn't built to. And so when I learned that about myself and then I tapped into cycling my day that way.

(13:02 - 13:58)

And so when I have creative urges, whether it is to express myself in terms of being vulnerable with my husband or pairing with my children or educating them because they're homeschooled, just going by the rhythm and the flow of my own experience, that was where my life clicked. And so that's when I realized that I have so much more innate potential and I combine that with the vital source energy patching that I've attuned in my life through LifeWave and just allowing myself to thrive in a cellular stance, in a spiritual essence, looking at my design of who I am and honoring me. And I will say this because it was a very potent lesson I had to learn, setting boundaries and being able to step into the divine feminine space as a woman of reciprocity and energetic balance and setting boundaries.

(13:58 - 14:15)

And, you know, my design, I tend to get taken advantage of a lot because I can create a lot and give a lot and do a lot. And I don't fill my cup back up as easily or as easily before as I do now because I was just always giving, giving, giving. And my mission was way bigger.

(14:15 - 14:52)

And so it felt like I could forget myself. And I did forget myself a few times and had to learn those hard lessons. And so, yeah, my dream for every woman is to learn who you are outside of your roles and learn who you are and how you can tap into that taproot of who you were created to be and what your passions are and how you speak, teach, educate, learn, digest and feel refilled and replenished, whether it's physical touch, whether it's, you know, like the love languages, acts of service, gifts, words of affirmation, really learning who you are.

(14:52 - 15:01)

You could start at surface level and go as deep as possible. There's always like another layer. I recently dove into Gene Keys, which is super fun as well.

(15:01 - 15:29)

So, yeah, just whatever resonates with you, learn more about you because it will help you anchor in all of the things that you've gone through and create more presence in your life for what you're going to. I think for a lot of women or people in the world, right, you start with like looking at a personality test and then you might go to Enneagram and then you're going, you know, moving into human design. And then after that, then it's the Gene Keys where you dive a little bit deeper and it is beautiful.

(15:30 - 15:45)

So I love that. Like, what are three small steps that people can get to do to know themselves more? And so that could be one of them is looking into your human design, which I'm a 1-3 as well. Of course you are.

(15:46 - 16:05)

And then do you have like two other really small ones? Yeah, my two other really small ones is being present to life. I really. I wasn't someone that appreciated the small, slow moments, being a manifestor, I like the big, go fast, hard, let's explode type things.

(16:05 - 16:25)

Just being present to what's around you. And I've really found really great appreciation for the small in-between times. And I know that seems mundane and it might be difficult, but I found just sitting and looking around or utilizing a sense that feels aligned with you, like your hearing or your sense of taste.

(16:25 - 16:30)

I mean, my husband's a foodie. That's what he does all the time. It's just like sitting with what feels present to you.

(16:31 - 16:46)

And that has calmed my nervous system. That has calmed my mental clarity. For me, combining it with music is a really great sanctuary to just sit and be, because I think we're taught that we have to do something to be worthy.

(16:47 - 17:03)

And when we just learn that we actually are worthy just because we exist, it's really powerful. Yes, definitely. So as you mentioned in the speaker series, that we're humans and so when we're humans, we have all sorts of, every day is a different day.

(17:03 - 17:34)

Every moment's a different moment where we have all sorts of expressions and conflict shock and all of that stuff. And if you guys want the replay on this, then just let me know in the comments. But my question for you is, because we're human, when you slide back into that caretaking role where you're really, you know, getting into this creative creation moments where all of your energy and time is really wanting to focus on this area or your boundaries are looking a little bit fuzzier, which happens.

(17:34 - 17:53)

Like, how do you, like, what are the things that you do to get yourself out of it? And what do you tell yourself when you do maybe slip back into this past programming? This is a really good question. For me, I have an on-off switch. I'm either all in or I'm all out.

(17:53 - 18:06)

And I've learned that about myself and I didn't used to like that about myself. So I let myself be in those moments, like let myself just be all in or all out. And so my children will tell you this.

(18:06 - 18:19)

I am a very expressive being, not just because I'm Italian, but because I'm loud and fiery. And so, yeah, we scream at my household. We do.

We let it out. We dance it all out. We break down.

(18:20 - 18:29)

We are expressive beings and we are humans. So when I'm feeling those moments, everybody knows it. And so do I. And I encourage everybody to be that way.

(18:29 - 18:47)

I mean, I have young children and when they're off balance, what do they do? They scream, they kick, they yell, they hit. And we create sanctuaries and boundaries around how we can do those things in a healthy expression. And that's what I do still.

(18:48 - 19:00)

And it's been the most freeing thing, because I think when we hit adulthood, we think we can't do those things anymore. But yeah, when I'm feeling off, I cry. When I'm feeling angry, I scream in the pillow or I punch the bed.

(19:00 - 19:31)

I mean, those are very human things. I think the fundamentals of how we've made life look make them seem unethical or not right. But I mean, that's just that's the the bare naked truth of what we do in my house.

Like we just we break it down and we let it out and then we turn it off and build ourselves back up to where we're supposed to be and and shift. I mean, we could change and shift any type of moment that we need to when we, I call it, alchemize it. We alchemize the moment and we just move through it.

(19:31 - 19:59)

Light the fire, throw away the mat, let the fire burn out, move on. So what I'm hearing you say is that when you are having these emotions, you allow them to occur instead of putting shame or guilt or that I shouldn't be this way because I have so many tools and I've learned so much along the way. Like how how is this coming up again? But you actually created space in your house for that to be a natural process without putting any story behind it.

(20:00 - 20:34)

So one last question for you would be what are the so you know how we have the voice in our head and. For many of us, that voice can be critical until we bring awareness around it and then we can kind of start shifting that. What does your voice tell you, the non-critical one, that angel on your shoulder, the one that's cheering you along, what are those mantras that might go through your head when you just need it the most? Yeah, this is interesting.

(20:36 - 21:39)

I have been a human being that most of my life has been like that overachieving, taught from childhood that you just do it anyway, push through. And so unwinding that story for me has really helped me focus on my vision and what I'm really doing it for, because I have all these degrees, I have all this quote unquote success. But what does that mean to me? I've had moments in my life that it just doesn't really mean anything because I just I've felt like, what did I do that for? I've learned so much through my expression of being a human versus putting these labels on it.

So what I tell myself is, yeah, you're human and you're doing it. Congratulations, you're doing it, because I've won the award and I've done those things and I've never been one to focus on them. It was always, I got it, next one.

(21:39 - 22:14)

So I really had a hard time celebrating myself and learning how to celebrate myself in life. And so I'm really new to that still. I mean, just a couple, four or five years new to really having an angel on my shoulder, honestly.

And most of the time it's like, girl, you're doing it, like we're doing it. This is real life and we're doing it. And you survive and you surrender and you pass the test or whatever comes through in that moment.

But really, it's just like, you love yourself, you're like, I got through that. I love it. You're human.

(22:14 - 22:19)

You are doing it. That is so good. Anybody can try that on.

(22:20 - 22:33)

Thank you so much for being here. And I'll put in the show notes ways in which people can contact you and learn more about LifeWave, about German New Medicine, about your chiropractic practice and all of the things that you do. So I appreciate you.

(22:34 - 22:35)

Thank you so much.