EP 87 - When Everything Feels Important: How to Reclaim Your Priorities

Hi friend — welcome back to The Habit Within! I’m Camille Kinsler, and this week’s episode is one I am truly living in real time. For the past two weeks, life hasn’t just felt full — it’s felt downright busy. The kind of busy where the things I say matter most to me slowly start sliding to the bottom of the purse… only to be rediscovered later with dried chocolate stuck to them.

If you’ve been feeling stretched thin — where everything feels urgent, everything feels important, and somehow you feel like you’re choosing nothing at all — this episode is for you.

In this episode, I share:

• The honest look at what fell off my plate (hint: this podcast!)
• How I realized I was valuing things I didn’t think I valued simply because I was choosing them
• A surprising list of the seven roles I’m holding at my kids’ school — and what it taught me about invisible labor
• What happens when we confuse obligation with choice
• The exact questions I use to get back into alignment when everything feels urgent
• Why your values aren’t what you say they are — they’re what your calendar reveals
• A gentle process for noticing where you’re avoiding, overgiving, or outsourcing your power

This is an episode about honesty — with yourself, your values, your season of life, and the priorities that truly matter. Not the ones you think you “should” care about… but the ones your heart actually wants to rise to the top.

Big Takeaways:

• Everything you’re doing is a choice — even the things that feel like obligations.
• Overwhelm often comes from valuing one thing in theory but choosing another in practice.
• You can reclaim your priorities by asking better questions, not by adding more discipline.
• Your values shift with your season — and that’s okay.

I’d love to hear from you:
What’s one thing you’re choosing right now — without realizing it?
Send me a message on Instagram or share your reflection with me. I love hearing what resonates for you in these episodes.

If you’re tired of feeling exhausted, irritable, moody, and just not like yourself, schedule a free 30-minute consultation so I can help you feel like YOU again
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Transcript

(0:00 - 22:35)
For the past two weeks my life has been a very busy and Really to the point where I feel like the things that I claim to be very important to me are falling by the wayside So we'll get into all of that. I'll tell you some of my personal Story around things that are falling to the wayside and then the questions that I ask myself when I notice That i'm getting into this state of busy. Welcome to the habit within this podcast is for high achieving women 35 and older who seem to have it all together but feel like they're constantly running on fumes Struggling to balance it all and losing sight of the woman they used to be I'm camille kinsler a former physician assistant turned transformational coach blending science positive psychology and a metaphysical approach to habits health and vitality If you've ever asked yourself Why am I so exhausted even after a full night's sleep or I feel like i'm juggling so much But i'm just barely keeping my head above water You are in the right place each week We'll explore the real reasons behind feeling overwhelmed trapped in the cycle of overworking and constantly running low on energy And how to break free from the patterns keeping you stuck in survival mode It's time to stop living on autopilot and to start feeling like yourself again, let's dive in Hey, hey, welcome back to the habit within this is your host camille And today we are going to talk about something that I am living and breathing right now in real time and it's really, um you know, how do we really claim our priorities and um and make sure that We aren't just falling victim to the busy role when somebody says hey, how are you doing and you're like, oh good life so busy If you've listened to this podcast at all, you know that I actually prefer the word full when I talk about my life when it is when it has that feeling of Every minute being accounted for I like to say that my life is full however the past two weeks My life has been very busy And really to the point where I feel like the things that I claim to be very important to me are falling by the wayside So we'll get into all of that. 

I'll tell you some of my personal Story around things that are falling to the wayside and then the questions that I ask myself when I notice That i'm getting into this state of busy Instead of it feeling like my life is full and expansive by choice when I feel like maybe Other obligations are taking over. So if this sounds like something that happens in your life, especially around this november december timeframe Then this is the episode for you. So we're going to be talking about how to prioritize the things that actually matter When your life feels like it's busy when you feel like that You everything is like choosing you and you're not choosing it And I want you just to consider this statement as you Go through this episode You make time for what is important always So everything that you are doing in your life is because you value it more than the other thing that you are not doing So just take that in as we go through this episode and hopefully by the end of it You'll realize oh, yeah, that is what i'm doing and this is even when you feel like that You're obligated to do something right like you have to do it or no one else will or it won't get done There's choice underneath that and when the answer when you really figure out the why to that the why to Why you're feeling obligated or why you're choosing that thing over something else Then that's the moment where you get really really honest with yourself and that is where you can take ownership and responsibility And claim the things in your life claim the things that are happening into your life and not just being a subject to them So that's what we're going to do today. 

We're just going to have this uh, little honest combo and and really see if we can see if we can get off the slippery slope and really just get back into alignment with things that are important to us or Recognize the things that we are taking priority That that are taking priority that those things are more important than the other things and not just Being shoved to the bottom of our purse, which reminds me of the pin that I pulled out of my purse the other day had Dried chocolate stuck to the pin cap and I was like, oh my gosh This is a perfect analogy to my life. Currently. Everything is just getting shoved down and Yeah, and so you got to bring things to the surface clean them off And recall where that chocolate piece came from anyway So one of the really important things in my life is to record a podcast every week And the past two weeks I have not gotten a podcast out I was hoping to even record this yesterday and then time life just got away from me And I was unable to record it yesterday. 

Not like my editor would have been available to to edit the podcast anyway, but I have to say that that was my goal. I'm like at least i'll have it recorded in that second week But lo and behold I did not And that means that yeah two weeks without a podcast and that does not feel good And that doesn't feel in alignment with my goals with my intention for the show My intention is to show up and give meaningful perspective shifting Conversations motivation inspiration all the things I hope you receive from this education around how to stay vital and healthy in your life, I love teaching so much and Um things in my kids school and i'll get into that have just been kind of taken over and um And life has been feeling very scrambled and that um The feeling of obligation has been taking over my world instead of that feeling of A freedom and of choice and of of excitement So here we are. We're resetting together so think of the thing that maybe is coming to the top of your list right now that You feel you're feeling a little bit guilty about like you're like Why am I putting my focus on this thing instead of the other thing that I really want to create or live into? So, let me just walk you through a little bit about My life and all the hats that i'm wearing and i'm sharing this in hopes that you will actually see yourself in it Because it is very interesting when we sit down And we write out all of our roles So I wrote out all of my roles at my kids school And it was very interesting. 

I have like seven roles at my kids school in this current moment of time and quite frankly That is too many and I have to really look at it and say okay, which one? either Can I not put a lot of effort into right now or which one can I step away from? Or which one is just a season in time? Meaning that maybe it's just for the next couple of weeks and then i'll no longer have that responsibility And we can do anything for a short period of time just as long as that doesn't become our full-time job, right? So here's a list of things that I have the hats that i'm wearing at my kids school So i'm a board member at the school. This is my second year So last year felt like I was drinking from a fire hose and this year i'm actually stepping into more leadership roles and understanding like the magnitude Of what the board actually does with the strategic plan the long-term vitality of the school the decisions that we have to make that are Sometimes very hard and uncomfortable but necessary I'm also on the committee on trustees where we recruit new board members. We support existing ones we create trainings we think about succession and The all of the big shoes that we're going to actually have to fill for next year And that right there alone is massive. 

I'm actually attending a all-day conference tomorrow on intro to Uh non-profit boards because the private school that we attend is a not-for-profit Then i'm on the development committee, which is all about fundraising Which I had no idea how essential for these independent schools How important fundraising is and actually this thing called an annual campaign which bridges the gap between how much it costs to actually Uh educate your child versus the tuition which also is apparently a thing that there's this this gap into most independent schools have to raise money to bridge this gap so it can keep the the Tuition of the school somewhat reasonable Um, i'm also the parent society uplink to the board and that's all about Um Creating cohesion around the parent body And bringing anything of interest or of importance to the board and also helping shape the parent society for what it is going to look like moving forward and also a class representative and the class parent And included in that is the winter fair coordinator Committee of the winter fair coordinator for the eighth grade class. Anyway, it's a lot and I hope it wasn't extremely boring But I just wanted to give you an idea of like maybe it's in your job Um that you get paid for and you break down all of your roles that you have within that job Maybe it is in the caretaking capacity that you have and all of your roles as a caretaker Or maybe it is literally just wearing like These different hats and all of these different areas of your life and maybe it isn't under one umbrella So just take a second to think about that and honor yourself honor the capacity and all that you do in your life and Give yourself a little pat on the back for one thing I mean It's just amazing that you are able to do all of these things And that you get to choose to do all of them. So that's the school side And then we have the professional work side and that is the work that I like to do around genomics for um Genomics and epigenetics for health and vitality so it's not looking at rare diseases But actually what makes our bodies feel better based on your unique design It's a newer passion of mine um, that means that All the content that I create all the training all the lessons that I have are brand new That means I have to reserve a lot of time in order to do that and it is one that absolutely deserves nurturing attention and creativity and Instead right now. 

I feel like i'm basically sticking a bottle in its mouth and patting it on its head and saying You know just hoping it's going to raise itself when in reality like how well does that work? um, and then there's the other piece of just being a mom and Um, you know making sure that they have interesting food, uh for lunch that they have, you know their orchestra Uniforms for this year that actually fit things like that um, and then there's the other whole just being a being a human being who likes to actually have fun and you know have pleasure in their life and play and presence and um, and yeah, so Recognizing that we are these whole people's whole people with multiple passions And how sometimes one area can just feel a little bit heavier one of the things I used to work with clients one-on-one with was really to figure out what their values were and it was something that My clients loved so much and we would spend Hours doing this together because it was so essential because typically we live the values That we had like years and years in the past and we hadn't updated our values or we think that our values are one thing But they're actually completely They're actually another thing. So your true values are not the values that you think you have typically they're the values you Demonstrate through your choices so you can tell what your values are based on what you do if you think that you Value a clean orderly home, but your house is trashed. You don't value that You might think you do you might want to but you don't You value maybe Time spent in another way more so it's not not a good or bad thing It's just that you value something more than a tidy house If you say you value wellness, but you never move your body then I hate to say it. 

You don't value Wellness, or you don't value wellness in that capacity You value something else more. Maybe that's rest. Maybe it's ease. 

Maybe it's spaciousness Maybe it's not feeling controlled around the schedule like you don't want to have to get up in the morning at 5 a.m To make it to the gym five days a week, right? Maybe that feels too structured for you. And so you prefer Not to move your body because you just that's the only time in the day that you really have right? We choose things in life that are important to us. We always make room for them If you say you value creativity, but you spend your energy on other people's needs instead of creating then There's something there that you need to look at and again, you're not judging your choices It's not a good or bad. 

It just really is great Being honest with yourself and creating creating some clarity So when life is feeling extremely overwhelming, it's almost always because you say you value one thing, but your value But you actually value something else so they're not matching and it's okay. You can you can hack the system if you will you can Attach something that you do like a subconscious value is what I would call them during the lesson that I did with my clients you attach something that has That's lower on your value list to something that's higher on your value list And when you do that, then you can actually really create something great in your life But that's another thing for another time. Um, I would love to do that for the new year but anyway, um, so The work that we're going to do today here are the questions that you're going to ask yourself Uh, you can do this today this week tonight after your kids go to bed, whatever it might be, but you want to ask yourself this First off is what is the thing that you're choosing to do? What is the thing that you think that you should be doing instead? Why are you choosing this? and This is really important because you have to recognize that you are choosing it over something else. 

So you have to answer Why you're choosing it and it can be like oh because I feel obligated because that can be a truth for you right now Then you want to ask is this aligned with the person you want to be not the woman you want to be? not the woman that other people need not the woman that you think that um That has to come in and save the day But really is this the woman who you are like to be and maybe that save your person maybe coming in and being of service Feels really good to you and fills you up and allows you to do other things in your life, which is fine Again, there's no right or wrong. Then. The next question is what is something that you might value more than what you're doing right now? Because maybe it's just getting a little scrambled, right? You actually do value something more and you've lost focus of that So you're checking in with yourself. 

Like is there something that I value more? And um, and is it truly something I value not something I think I should buy you but truly value What happens or what are you afraid of if you say no to something you might feel obligated to do This is very important, right? Like what happens and then if you're like, well, no one else will do it. Well, is that true? Is it true that no one else will do it? Maybe it's that you think no one else will do it as good as you and is that true? Or does it really matter? So get a really really specific on that And this is another really important one and this is one that I often notice that i'm doing when i'm Busying myself in some other area of my life. I look at and I ask myself i'm like What am I avoiding about the thing that I really do value? so for instance with creating this business Where i'm helping other women become more vital and healthy By using their genomics as their blueprint I love that. 

I absolutely love teaching and sharing and making people people feel inspired And making life a little bit easier. I love that piece what I don't value as much as structure and systems Like those things aren't I mean some people love them I know some friends that popped my pop in mind right now that absolutely love Structures and systems and organization in that way. I just loved it. 

That's why I love this free-form podcast, right? You jump on you share what you're feeling and thinking and hopefully it's going to affect people's lives in a positive way, right? Easy, but I don't really have to do much else. So what am I avoiding? And the next stage of my business is actually doing those fundamentals. I've done them in other businesses I've started so I know that what it takes and I know the hard work that it takes And so i'm avoiding that however with me choosing to do all of these activities in my kids school Actually doesn't have to do with me avoiding What it is is there's three things that I know that I value Above all else. 

I value freedom. I love being able to choose what i'm going to do in my day So, you know, I even though I have all these activities with the school Most of the time I get to choose how I work on them The other thing is is I value love And I think this is slash I value being a good mother slash I value being a mom who shows up. So there's this kind of value Valuing love and being a good mother aspect of it Which is the season of the life of my life that i'm in and I also value learning and understanding and like learning new things And so it makes sense because the a lot of the things that i'm doing at school right now is Learning, you know i'm learning and i'm understanding it and i'm also able to share it with other people and share some of my Wisdom from my life of almost being alive for 50 years, right? So I think that's a value for sure but what's more important of creating this business and genomics is being here in the season of life with my children and Seeing how important and how transformational the school has been for my kids and wanting to leave a legacy something That's going to last forever and ever and ever and grow and be as you know as a stable Institution for others to come like that's really important to me right now And I just need to recognize too that some of these duties some of these hats that i'm wearing within school You know Hopefully in a month they some of them won't be there. 

There might be others that take their place But I need to recognize that that is a choice and that there there there's that why behind it There's a reason behind it And when I understand that then it feels less like it's an obligation And more like something that I can have fun and play into and and have gratitude that i'm able to step in To that to that so here is my invitation to you that What if nothing that you do feels like an obligation? What if everything is a choice? How would that shift your life? How would that shift the way that you show up in your world? What would fall off the list? If you actually really look to see if you valued certain things more than others, right? What could you move to the top of your list? What could what could kind of naturally if you're like this is a choice this thing right here is a choice Would you mark it off your list because you're like, oh i'm really choosing that Or would you be like, oh my god, i'm gonna move that to the top of my list I value that so much more than these other things Where would your energy naturally want to go if you weren't trying to keep everyone else afloat, right? Where would you naturally want to put all of your time and energy? What would your values say if they could speak One of the things yeah again, like I worked with women for hours and hours if anybody's interested in that work I would absolutely do like a one-off where we just did your values for like three sessions Because it is so fun and actually I used to do them every couple of years the same thing that I Do with my clients and I haven't done it in a while. So it would be really fun to do that together So let that guide you this week don't feel like pressure to do this or guilty if you don't but I just want you to look At at what you're listing out all the things that you're doing ask yourself if this is a choice Ask yourself if this fits with some of your values feel into your body if it's aligned right now in the season of your life Recognize if it is only a season of your life and then honor it and just keep exploring this and being honest with yourself and staying in that that sense of vitality if it gives you life and makes you feel full or if it drains you because That will tell you a lot if it is part of your value system or not And as always thank you so much for being here Thank you for letting me be human with you and I want you to share with me go over to my dms and instagram or go down into the show notes and you can find a place to Contact me because I would always love to know what you value And as always I hope that you loved listening to this podcast as much as I loved making it for you until next time The world needs the vibrance and wisdom of a woman's intuition to help heal the world When we learn to trust ourselves through leaning into and through discomfort We learn to trust ourselves and in that space is our power and clarity