EPI 96 - When Is It Time to Walk Away? (Even When Nothing Is “Wrong”)

Hi friend — welcome back to The Habit Within! I’m Camille Kinzler, and today’s episode is one that feels tender, nuanced, and honestly… a little uncomfortable.

Because we’re talking about something that doesn’t get discussed enough:
 When is it time to walk away — even when nothing is obviously wrong?

Not when there are red flags.
 Not when something is broken or unhealthy.
 But when everything looks “good” on paper… and something inside you quietly says, this isn’t it anymore.

If you’ve ever felt that subtle nudge — in your career, your community, your role, your identity — this conversation is for you.

 In this episode, I share:

•  Why walking away from something good can feel harder than leaving something clearly wrong 
•  My personal experience stepping away from being a physician assistant — and the identity unraveling that came with it 
•  The hidden weight of time, money, and energy already invested (and why it keeps us stuck) 
•  How identity gets wrapped up in what we do — and why that makes change feel so confronting 
•  The season where I made decisions based on “fun” — and why that didn’t fully work for me 
•  How I now decide whether to stay or leave: 
  •  Am I still in an active relationship with this? 
  •  Is there more for me to create, learn, or express here? 
•  The truth about mundane seasons — and why “chop wood, carry water” still matters 
•  What it looked like to walk away from a deeply meaningful business and community — and the grief that came with it 
•  Why you don’t actually lose what you’ve built — even when you leave it 
•  The idea that your life may come full circle in ways you can’t yet see 

I also walk you through a few powerful questions you can ask yourself if you’re in that in-between space — not fully in, but not fully out either.

Because sometimes the hardest decisions aren’t about what’s clearly wrong…
 They’re about honoring what’s quietly changed within you.

Reflection Questions

•  If nothing changed about your current situation… would you still choose it? 
•  Are you staying because it’s aligned — or because it’s familiar? 
•  Is this discomfort coming from growth… or from misalignment? 
•  Is there more here for you — or have you already said what you came to say? 

I’d love to hear from you

Are you in a season where you’re questioning whether to stay or walk away?

Send me a message or share this episode — you’re not alone in this space.

If you’re tired of feeling exhausted, irritable, moody, and just not like yourself,  schedule a free 30-minute consultation so I can help you feel like YOU again
Fill out this brief form (2 min) to schedule a free 30-minute call.
 
Love the show? Leave a 5-star review, and let me know what hit home for you.

Find me on Instagram @camille_kinzler and leave me a DM! 

Transcript

(0:00 - 0:44)
We're going to talk about when is it time to walk away? So walk away from your career, your community, your volunteer activities, projects, your church, whatever it may be. Like, when do you know it's time to just seek something out different? Welcome to the habit within this podcast is for high achieving women, 35 and older, who seem to have it all together, but feel like they're constantly running on fumes, struggling to balance it all and losing sight of the woman they used to be. I'm Camille Kinzler, a former physician assistant turned transformational coach, blending science, positive psychology, and a metaphysical approach to habits, health, and vitality.

(0:45 - 1:14)
If you've ever asked yourself, why am I so exhausted even after a full night's sleep, or I feel like I'm juggling so much, but I'm just barely keeping my head above water, you are in the right place. Each week, we'll explore the real reasons behind feeling overwhelmed, trapped in the cycle of overworking and constantly running low on energy and how to break free from the patterns, keeping you stuck in survival mode. It's time to stop living on autopilot and to start feeling like yourself again.

(1:14 - 1:19)
Let's dive in. Hello. I'm so glad to be here with you today.

(1:19 - 1:39)
I was wondering if I was going to record this week. Last week was my first recording in a few months, so I didn't know if it was going to feel like something that I was interested in continuing, but it was. And I was so excited to get back on the mic and share with you some of my thoughts for this week.

(1:39 - 2:09)
And we're going to talk about when is it time to walk away? So walk away from your career, your community, your volunteer activities, projects, your church, whatever it may be. Like when do you know it's time to just seek something out different? So if that sounds like something that you're curious about, then listen. Uh, the reason why I decided that this would be a good episode for you, because my listeners are around 40, 50, 60 and hello mom in her eighties.

(2:10 - 2:22)
And so more than likely you have been in something for a while, right? You're not a teenager. You're not in your twenties. More than likely you have been part of something for years and you might have that question.

(2:23 - 2:41)
Like, I don't know, this isn't feeling very aligned anymore, but it's hard to walk away from something. It's hard to walk away from a career that you have spent so much time, energy and effort in, or a business that you've created or a project or a community that you've invested in. And so it's really is, is a question.

(2:42 - 3:13)
I think that we should often not often, but we should occasionally consider like, is this still for me? So I'll give you, um, a few different times in my life, um, in the way that I've approached moving away from something or walking away from something when it was still thriving and amazing and nothing was horribly broken about it. Nothing was quote unquote wrong about it. There wasn't anything that was like, you know, red flags are devastating.

(3:13 - 3:40)
And so I hope that if something really isn't working in your life, that you are feeling or seeing those red flags, that you're feeling uncomfortable, that, um, you've tried and it's just not working anymore, that you walk away from it, you don't, I'm giving you permission to walk away. Sometimes we just need that external permission, even though you don't need it, here's the external permission that you can walk away from something that is making you miserable. So please do that.

(3:41 - 3:57)
And this episode though, we're going to talk about the little quieter moments, right? The ones where we're like, ah, I kind of feel like a brat walking away from this. Cause I mean, I, you know, I spent so much time and energy and money. So my experience with this, or my example is as a physician assistant.

(3:59 - 4:25)
So I, um, went to pre-med, I went to, you know, medical school. I spent years gaining knowledge and active practice, which is where you learn all of your tricks and where you actually learn the art of medicine is bedside. It's not when you're in your, um, in your training and the books, right? And so it's all of those years that I spent.

(4:25 - 4:37)
Bedside with patients and all that knowledge that was gained. And so the idea of walking away from that was really hard because there also wasn't anything I could put my finger on per se. Like, this is what's not working.

(4:38 - 5:03)
I mean, there's something about the system, right. And working for a huge organization, but then I went to a smaller organization that I went to a startup and there was something around the lack of creativity within that job that I think that was the biggest piece that I just didn't feel like connected. I think there was also the restriction.

(5:03 - 5:39)
It was very, um, controlled by the AMA, the American Medical Association. So if you deviate from gold standards, if you deviate from, um, from a lot of what the textbook says, if you go into any sort of alternative or, um, integrative types of approaches, it actually is frowned upon. And actually in Texas, it's pretty strict that if you do go off script, as they say, pun intended there, that you actually can get into big trouble with the American Medical Association.

(5:40 - 5:56)
So, you know, it was that feeling a little bit like my hands were tied and, and modalities that I felt like were very helpful based off of, of research, right. But also based off of N1. So myself having experienced these massive shifts by doing things like acupuncture.

(5:58 - 6:26)
Anyway, it's getting a little bit better, but it's still, it's still very restricted. So that was the thing that I was really unable to identify when I was having that massive sense I needed to walk away from, um, direct patient care in that way. But it was bad, right? It was pretty, it was, it was spent a lot of time and money and a lot of energy gaining knowledge.

(6:26 - 6:47)
And it felt like I was just throwing it away. And I know that there are people or friends of mine that are in different cultures who are, or, um, or are the first ones in their family who had received a master's degree or their PhD. And so for them, it feels very shameful to throw away something that no one else in their family has.

(6:47 - 7:06)
And again, it's not throwing it away. We take all of those moments with us, but it can feel like that. And the moment I know there is this one physician, um, pediatrician that I spoke with, and she said that she, so she walked away from pediatric care.

(7:06 - 7:17)
Um, so she was no longer practicing bedside medicine. And she said that she couldn't call herself a doctor anymore because she was no longer bedside. And I was like, that's batshit crazy.

(7:17 - 7:26)
I was like, of course you can, you are a physician, you worked bedside for 20 years. You have tons of experience. You know, it's in you, it's like seeped in your cells.

(7:27 - 8:01)
And she was like, nope, absolutely not. You can only call yourself a doctor if you're bedside, which is wacky because there's such an intense identity that's wrapped around so many of us in our careers is that if we're not that, who are we? And I know that I had that sense as a PA and now, so there were quite a few years that I would tell people kind of like the fourth or fifth thing that I did that I was a PA and now I'm back to like owning it because it's amazing and it is who I am and what I do, but it's, it's wild. It's wild.

(8:01 - 8:51)
How, how are I, our identity around the things that we do, even if we're like a volunteer or if we're like a leader within our church and we no longer want to be the leader within our church, like how hard it is for us to step away from it. So I think that that was my biggest thing at first was kind of like, how do I unravel the identity that I have have around that career in order to be able to walk away? Like, how do I reconcile that? There was an also another point after that, where I was, um, when I moved into more coaching and consulting and, um, during this phase of my life, when I, when I would ask myself, is it time to walk away or not? It's whether or not that I was having a good time in it. Right.

(8:51 - 9:19)
So I was like creating this new business and I told myself, if I'm not having fun creating this new business, then I'm going to walk away from it, which is a wonderful way to live. Um, and it didn't really work for me all that well. So I have a friend who she only plans her life, like in four, I think it's seven, every 72 hours or something like it's, it's wild.

(9:20 - 9:32)
She like, um, has canceled more plane, um, uh, plane flights or flights. And I've known anybody else ever to cancel because she's like, so lives in the moment. So lives in the flow of her life.

(9:33 - 9:43)
And I absolutely adore that and wish I could live that way, but it's not the way that I create. It's not the way that I feel best. It's not really what lights me up.

(9:43 - 10:10)
But if that's you girl, then I'm going to be your friend because you're a good time. But what I found when I lived in that space where if I wasn't in flow, then I wasn't going to do it is that I actually need sort of, um, I need consistency and I'm the type of person who gets a lot done if I have like 12 hours to commit. Um, but if I'm like dipping in and out of it, then everything just slows down.

(10:10 - 10:39)
And it felt like it was taking forever to create the thing that was really on my heart and really itching to get out there. And so, you know, we got to know ourselves, we got to know what works. And so anyway, so just kind of think is, is that, is, is that something that you can go with though? Can you ask yourself, like, am I even having a good time anymore? Is this even lighting me up? And if it's a no, then maybe that's your opportunity to say like, it's time for me to walk away.

(10:40 - 11:15)
And so where I am right now, and this could definitely change because I write my life in pencil as a other podcaster back in the day that he used to listen to always says, or he used to say, I don't know if she says it anymore. So for me now, it's not whether something is easy or enjoyable in the moment because I recognize that I need momentum and there is just the mundane parts of anything that we do, right? There are the things that we have to just show up and chop wood and carry water. And it's not always going to be like the most fun.

(11:16 - 11:49)
But it's more now for me is if I'm really in an active relationship with it. So meaning like, is there more for me to learn in this particular space? Is there more for me to create? Is there more for me to express in this particular space and recognizing again, that there are seasons that just feel mundane when you're repeating the same action over and over again. And it just doesn't seem like it's just totally filling you up, but that you have this desire to keep going because you want to see what the final outcome is.

(11:50 - 12:16)
And that's a different feeling, right? It's it's more it's more subtle, right? You have to recognize that it's there, that you're looking for it. But it's really, really, really clear when you when you're when you tune into it. And I think that's a really great deciding point is that do I have more to say and create in this space? And if you don't, then maybe that is your moment where you should say it's time to move on.

(12:16 - 12:47)
So many of you may or may not know this about me, but I built a business being a sober coach back in 2017, did it for about seven years or so. And I worked with women on a 100 day basis who wanted to step away from alcohol for 100 days or permanently. And it was amazing. 

It was extremely meaningful work. I was so proud of the work I created. I was in love with all of the women that I worked with.

(12:47 - 13:20)
And I learned so much about online business and I created communities and I created friendships and people I met online, like it was just really, really fulfilling work. But what happened was is at a certain point, I didn't want to do it anymore because I fell into the addiction and recovery space. So when you're in the online world, if you know this or not, you really have to identify yourself, like and your people, right? And your audience, like you really have to be specific about who you're speaking to.

(13:21 - 13:43)
And when I'm like, hey, you, if you drink too much, but you don't think you're an alcoholic, then come on over my way and we can chat. You really have to, you know, yeah, it really kind of pigeonholes you into people who really want to go through something that's more like a, you know, AA program or something like that. There's all sorts of different variations.

(13:43 - 13:58)
But one of the key pieces was to be a hundred percent sober, a hundred percent of the time. And for me, that just wasn't resonating anymore. Totally dig in all of you women and men out there who are a hundred percent sober.

(13:58 - 14:21)
I think it is absolutely fabulous. And, you know, you do you, but it just wasn't really resonating with me anymore as something that I wanted to do for the next 30, 40 years is work within that space. But walking away from it was really difficult because I was not only losing this, this group of amazing women, this audience that I had created.

(14:23 - 14:37)
But I was also losing some friends that were in the online space when I had really come to my realization and was vocal about it because I felt like it was really important. Then I lost some of those friendships as well. And that's really hard to lose friendship.

(14:37 - 15:00)
So this could maybe be really a life for you if you're talking about walking away from a community or maybe even a career that you've been in for 30 years and you have these meaningful relationships. Like, what does it look like when you step away? And of course, as we know, as. As just like the identity of who you were, that comes with you, all of your training and learning, so will the friends that really matter.

(15:01 - 15:32)
Those people will also come with you and the and remembering how certain people did touch your life and change them, even if you're still not friends with them. And then it's really interesting because I'm looking at the the shift that I've done over the past couple of years, which is really looking at working in genomics and really in the DNA space and how we can look at our specific genome and change it based off of our lifestyle. Absolutely loving it.

(15:32 - 16:07)
And I have so many things that I want to create in it. Yes. Is there like the boring and the mundane pieces of it? Absolutely. 

One hundred percent. And I think it's really this is the hardest part about starting like a new iteration of an online business. Is because I had to do all of those really boring chop wood, carry water moments of creating the the the the trainings on it, the advertising, my all of the stuff to just the business plan, all of that.

(16:07 - 16:27)
I had already had that created with my old business. And to do it over again, it's just not the part of part that lights me up as much like the creating and all of this. Like I have so much material that I've never put out in the in the ethers on the interwebs because because that's just less my thing.

(16:27 - 16:38)
Right. And more about the creating, less about like getting it up on the Internet. Again, I'm I've learned ways around that, but.

(16:39 - 17:03)
Yeah, so I know I'll be doing this for a while because I have so much that I do want to create and that really is ever evolving and what's so beautiful about it is this moment really links back to where I began as a medical provider. I mean, this takes there are people who actually read people's genetics, who aren't medically licensed, which I think is fine. We can all learn new skills, 100 percent.

(17:03 - 17:42)
But I think that there's so much that I offer, knowing all of those or having all of those hours of bedside practice that other people just can't have unless you've experienced that. So I guess this is to say is even when you're walking away from something and it feels like you're leaving something, you're actually not. And I wouldn't be surprised if at some point there was this full circle moment where it linked back to the thing that you left, the very first thing that you left, that you were able to where you were able to notice that sort of continuation of your life.

(17:42 - 17:56)
Right. That nothing was actually a waste. So once a few last thoughts about this and why this came up is I spent a lot of time, a lot of time volunteering at my kids' beloved school.

(17:56 - 18:12)
Absolutely love it and every single thing about it. And it's also incredibly difficult because it's about relationships and it's very intimate and everybody knows everybody. And that's what makes it such a great place to be.

(18:12 - 18:30)
It's like instant community because we all sort of mean it's a Steiner school, right? It's a Waldorf school. So most people who go to it have a similar vibe about them, if you will. But the school is built by so many people like I'm blood, sweat and tears, y'all.

(18:31 - 19:17)
I mean, the people who founded this school actually built the buildings the kids are in right now, like built the catwalk. I think that's what it's called, right? The wooden planks that attach all these little buildings so that each classroom is an individual building. There's this, there's the school store, which is called the Juniper Tree that was built by a handful of women who would sell all of their Waldorf type items, like their, their knitting and sewing and scarves and all of that, those textiles and stuff, they would sell them out of like, you know, a closet and then they decided they wanted to build a store.

(19:17 - 19:33)
So that Waldorf families could have, you know, 20, 24, 7, 12 months out of the year access to all of these beautiful Waldorf toys. And so they built this building. Anyway, there's just so much history and there's so much care and attention that has been put into it.

(19:34 - 19:53)
And when there's conversation around change, around growth, it is extremely uncomfortable. It's really threatening for a lot of people. And I absolutely get it because it's really wanting, they're really wanting to protect something that is very unique and that people absolutely love.

(19:54 - 20:13)
And, and I understand that because it, it isn't going to be the same. And actually it probably isn't the same as it was, but we just have this sense that it is the same, but really I can't even imagine. I mean, it's, it's a completely different community than it was before in a lot of ways.

(20:13 - 20:52)
I mean, now before, I'm sure there were a lot of, um, of parents who, one parent stayed home and now most people in our life and our community and our world now in the United States, both families, both parents have to work full time in order to support themselves, much less if they send their kid to a private school. So anyway, I mean, it just is really hard because everything does evolve. And, and it doesn't really matter if we want to keep them the same, right? Because it's just this, the way life is.

(20:52 - 22:02)
I mean, it's everything in our world and our, and our, our organic world evolves. So this is why this came up. Cause this has been really heavy on my heart as I am in these different circles and rooms and hearing people and their concerns and their fears and their hopes and their dreams and all of that is like, how can we, when do we know when it is time for us to walk away from something? And when do we know that we need to stay to see it to the end because we have more to say, or when we know we've actually said it all and there's nothing more that we have to say, right? And so hard, it's so hard, but here's some questions I have for you just in case, like some additional questions, if you're like, you know, this feels like it resonates with you is, um, maybe let's see, um, the first is whether, so I would ask, like, if you're in your space and you're like, okay, am I actually like reacting to the environment around me? Because something is like, I'm not feeling comfortable about it because it just feels like it doesn't align in that way.

(22:02 - 22:18)
Or is it something that is, feels like it's generally genuinely shifted in you. And like I said before, even if it's something within the environment that feels like it's uncomfortable to you now, that used to not be like that before. I mean, I think in both of these scenarios, I'd probably say, peace out.

(22:18 - 22:53)
It's time for you to find something different. Um, another question to maybe ask is if nothing changes about your current situation, would you still choose it? So not based on like what could become if you did more, but right now, like in the actual moment, would you stay? And that might be a really good question to ask. Maybe ask yourself, are you really fully, are you really showing up fully? Are you just kind of like checking the boxes? Because I know that can happen, right? Is that you're not learning anything anymore, but you're like comfortable.

(22:53 - 23:21)
And so you're just coming in and clocking in and clocking out, you know, for lack of a better term. And it just feels like walking away would be difficult, but you're really not showing up as your best self anymore anyway, and maybe asking another question, if you took away all of the time that you've invested, all of the money, all of other people's expectations, would you still stay? I think that's a really, really good one. And that's a very hard one when you answer it.

(23:21 - 23:39)
If you answer, yes, it's a very hard one to start unraveling, but totally worth it and you can do it. But what I know, and what I've said before is that walking away doesn't have anything to do with quitting or being a failure or any of that. We shouldn't feel shame or guilt around it.

(23:39 - 23:57)
Because again, I really feel like there's going to be this full circle moment at some point in your life where that end and that beginning meet up. And you're like, Oh, they give each other a handshake and a high five. And they're like, Oh, that's why we did this because it's way easier to stay in the familiar, but this is our life.

(23:57 - 24:01)
This is our one and only life, babe. We got to do it. We got to live it.

(24:01 - 24:16)
We got to get out there and stretch ourselves and be uncomfortable. And, and yeah. So I'm so glad that you are here and I really hope that you enjoyed this episode as much as I enjoyed creating it for you and I will see you next week.

(24:16 - 24:31)
The world needs the vibrance and wisdom of a woman's intuition to help heal the world. When we learn to trust ourselves through leaning into and through discomfort, we learn to trust ourselves and in that space is our power and clarity.