EPI 97 - When Something Asks for Your Attention

Hi friend — welcome back to The Habit Within! I’m Camille Kinzler, and today we’re exploring the other side of last week’s conversation.

In Episode 96, we talked about when it’s time to walk away.

But today, we’re looking at something a little more subtle — and sometimes even trickier:

What do you do when something asks for your attention… and won’t quite leave you alone?

Not because it’s urgent.
Not because it’s necessary.
But because it’s quietly pulling at you.

This episode is about learning how to recognize those moments — and how to discern whether it’s something to lean into.

In this episode, I share:

•  The unexpected moment I was offered a job — when I wasn’t even looking 
•  Why aligned opportunities often don’t come through force or strategy, but through curiosity and openness 
•  The difference between something that feels “off” versus something that feels inconvenient but interesting
•  The question I ask instead of “Does this make sense?”
   → “Why did this land in my life right now?”
•  How past experiences, interests, and quiet desires often shape the opportunities that find us 
•  Why talking things out can sometimes create more noise — not clarity 
•  My two non-negotiables for decision-making: 
  •  Sitting in silence without forcing an answer 
  •  Asking: What would this look like if it were exactly how I wanted it to be?
•  How to recognize the gap between your ideal and your reality — and what that gap is telling you 
•  Why leaning in doesn’t mean saying yes — it means being honest about what you truly want 
•  A real-life example of how I’m navigating this decision (including protecting the life I’ve intentionally created) 
•  The moment clarity came — and how quickly it surfaced when I created space for it 

This episode is about trusting that when something lingers in your awareness, there’s usually a reason. Not always to act on it — but always to listen to it.

Big Takeaways

•  Not every opportunity needs to make logical sense to be worth exploring. 
•  Curiosity is often a better guide than pressure or urgency. 
•  Silence creates clarity faster than overthinking ever will. 
•  Your ideal vision matters — and it should be part of your decision-making process. 
•  You don’t have to say yes to honor something — you just have to pay attention. 

I’d love to hear from you

What’s something in your life right now that’s gently pulling at you?

Send me a message or share this episode — I’d love to hear what’s coming up for you.

If you’re tired of feeling exhausted, irritable, moody, and just not like yourself,  schedule a free 30-minute consultation so I can help you feel like YOU again
Fill out this brief form (2 min) to schedule a free 30-minute call.
 
Love the show? Leave a 5-star review, and let me know what hit home for you.

Find me on Instagram @camille_kinzler and leave me a DM! 

Transcript

(0:00 - 22:51)
But this week we are going to look at the other side of that same coin And we're gonna talk about when it's time to really lean into something maybe to Give it your all maybe this is in a job Maybe it's in leaving a job Welcome to the habit within this podcast is for high achieving women 35 and older who seem to have it all together, but feel like they're constantly running on fumes Struggling to balance it all and losing sight of the woman they used to be I'm Camille Kinzler a former physician assistant turned transformational coach blending science positive psychology and a metaphysical approach to habits health and If you've ever asked yourself, why am I so exhausted even after a full night's sleep or I feel like I'm juggling so much But I'm just barely keeping my head above water You are in the right place each week we'll explore the real reasons behind feeling overwhelmed trapped in the cycle of overworking and Constantly running low on energy and how to break free from the patterns keeping you stuck in survival mode It's time to stop living on autopilot and to start feeling like yourself again. Let's dive in Hey, hey, welcome back to the habit within my name is Camille Kinsler. Nice of you to be here today last week we spoke about when it's time to walk away, so if you haven't listened to that episode then You're welcome to I think it's a really great one. 

If you're at the moment We're just deciding whether you should continue something or not But this week we are going to look at the other side of that same coin and We're going to talk about when it's time to really lean into something maybe to Give it your all maybe this is in a job Maybe it's in leaving a job. And so it's like a little bit different way and a little bit different perspective on Really kind of looking at what change could look like in your life I think this one Can be a little bit trickier too because when you're looking at walking away from something There's also there's oftentimes a little bit more clarity Because something kind of feels off and your current situation or misaligned or it feels complete like you've kind of done Everything in that role and now you're just going through the motions But leaning in that can feel a little bit less obvious And sometimes it can be Inconvenient walking away from something can definitely be inconvenient as well. So both of these again We're looking at the different side a different side of the same coin but it often Yeah, I see it oftentimes can be Can be pretty inconvenient. 

So just to tell you why I'm Talking about this particular topic today as I had something interesting happen recently so after years of being My own health care provider, which by the way, we are the worst patients I finally found a clinic that felt really good felt different. I feel like my practitioners the Practitioners, they're actually listen. I'm not a Statistic I'm not a number I am a real person who not only has uniqueness within my biology but also within my experience of my But also within my experience and my comfort my comfort level which is really important when you're sitting down with a Practitioner that they see you for who you are You know If you've been around the block if you have some years under your belt if you have a lot of self-study in a particular area in Medicine, I think it's important that your provider listen to that if you have a little bit more capacity to sit with maybe a diagnosis or a situation Where you need time to think? Versus if you're the type of person who really wants to take action quickly Those are two type different type of people and your provider should look at you as that individual Anyway, so back to this new clinic. 

I found it was great. Right? I don't feel rushed. They're our appointments It didn't feel like they were just checking the boxes, which I feel like that happens so often in medicine these days It was really the kind of care where I felt like I was really being paid attention to At this practice, there are three providers the way that their structure work is works is a little bit unique It's um, it's primarily a hormone clinic for women. 

It's been around for 20 20 years. So before all the rage and And all the clinics virtual clinics and and even ob-gyns who are now getting more comfortable prescribing hormones Which is fantastic, but this guy this clinic has been around For a for for 20 years and the first two visits you see the nurse practitioner The two there are two different nurse practitioners and the third you see the MD Slash owner and it was really cool because at the end of my second visit the NP Casually introduced me to the physician as well as I was walking out as the new Provider in the clinic. She was like, yep. 

This is our new hire. This is her I just wanted to meet you before I left so basically I was offered offered this job at my second appointment at this doctor's office and He just really casually said yeah, great. Send me your CV and we'll see what can happen So I did I did pretty quickly a couple days later and we exchanged some messages and nothing happened And that's fine, I wasn't looking for a job at all, I'm not looking for a job at all I have a job as my own practice doing genomics and helping women there as well as My volunteer positions in school, so I'm pretty full but when something Comes in front of my path when it feels like this is sort of like a serendipitous moment I always pay attention and I always follow it if it feels like It's interesting if it piques my interest I decide to just go and go ahead and and move through the motions as long as it feels like it's still piquing my interest and there isn't really like a wall there, so I didn't hear anything and that was fine. 

I had my follow-up visit three months later and when I walked in And to sit down in front of the doctor to review my lab work We just went over some things, you know for about five minutes and then he goes Okay, so we'll finish reviewing your lab work and then after that then we'll go in and we'll start talking about the position Like oh, okay, so this is sort of a job interview and a half visit Which I get like I know that can sound very unprofessional in a lot of ways But yeah, it's really interesting being in this impromptu job Interview when well, you're actually not looking for a job that you have a Solo practice going and it's something that you really love and that you really felt build But the other half is is that my husband and I have also created a really unique life We've built what we like to call heaven on earth here to where we Take them a lot of the summer off and it's really interesting. I know that it seems very pretentious It seems very much like something that's unattainable to a lot of people But this is something that I guess it was actually after I had children It had been on it had been in my yearly writing and in my on my vision boards If you will and all that stuff that that's what we would do as a family that we would take summers off And at that time that I was putting this in my future plans. I was working clinical work So I was working 40 to 60 hours a week in a clinical practice. 

I only had three three Weeks off a year I had no inclination that I was gonna leave clinical practice at any point that I would shift and pivot and do something different So the fact that I was even Creating this vision for myself or we took summers off just didn't make any sense, but it was extremely important to me that That that stay in my focus because it just seemed just the life that I wanted I wanted to have these more slower summers with my family So with that being said when this opportunity showed up It didn't make a lot of sense because guess what your employer likes for you to do They like for you to come to work They are typically hiring you because they either want to work less themselves Or they want to increase the amount that they are taking in both financially and with their workload and patience, right? so This is a big one, right? This is probably why I wasn't pursuing it in those three months between the first time he had mentioned it to me and then the follow-up because I was like Well, I don't think he's gonna be super happy when I say hey I'm we'll need you know six weeks off this coming summer and the reason why I thought of creating this episode for us is because I Slow down and I say and I asked myself like how do I make a decision like when the big decision comes? Like how do I move through it? How do I decide if this is the right thing for me? So that's what we're gonna be doing here today is I'm gonna kind of walk you through some of my thought process Processes and if this is something that's going on in your life, then, you know, maybe it's something that you can use as well So instead of immediately asking myself, does this make sense? I asked myself Why did this land in my life? Right? Why did this gently land in my lap at this particular moment and I say that because is it something that I have been like secretly wanting? Is it something that I have been secretly one? Moving towards is it something that I need? Is it something that I've asked for like kind of in the ethers or my prayers at night? And then this is come to me or is it very random right somewhere out of left field and typically that isn't the case Typically, I've called it in in some way or another if it's for a learning experience or not I just go with the curiosity of it all because most times in life when you have this really aligned opportunity It's not through Strategy, right not through forcing it It's through asking the universe putting it out there in the world asking your friends, right? It's not what you know It's who you know, it's it's really allowing for people to know like this is what you're looking for now That wasn't my current situation in this area however, I have been doing self-study around Hormone care for myself and for my clients as it relates to genomics for several years and This was like, I mean, I've been in self-study around hormone therapy for For nine years almost ten years So for me, this isn't like a random thing It's something that I have been putting a lot of my time effort and energy into and getting deeper and deeper and deeper Into it as well So again, the other piece of it is that I stepped away from clinical medicine for a few years But I've been moving back towards it in a different way in my own private practice so this also made sense because this was I'm ready for this again to be in like a in a brick-and-mortar type of Environment and I've been online for the past several years. So that also made some sense So now what I'm really sitting with is if I say yes to this Even very part-time because it is then this could really really shift the way my summers look and they really matter to me because like I said that I had been envisioning summers off for years and I've been doing that probably since the early 20 I Don't know probably 2012 2013 is I've been really like envisioning that the summers were Free and then in around 20 19 20 20 is when it actually happened So don't give up on your dreams, babes You never know like how it's gonna happen, but it will happen to really keep this in your mind's eye but instead of really looking at is this a good opportunity for me because That just doesn't feel like that was the right question to ask I said does this fit the life that I've already decided that I want right would saying yes to a position like this Really fit the life that I have created and I desire And what I've also learned in decisions like this is that Talking it out doesn't always help me So some people it might but for me when I talk it out with others it really amplifies The noise the anxiety the overthinking the need to justify and then the other person's noise and voice and opinions and lived experiences gets really loud, too And then it just feels like it's even it actually highlights more of the negative aspect of it than the positive So what I typically do these are two things that are absolutely non-negotiables is first I sit in silence or maybe it's second I sit in silence, but I sit in silence and that's one thing and I don't try to force an answer I will go into it with an intention like I I want to you know See what comes up what answers come through what next step I could take to complete an answer, right? But I don't try to force it. So if nothing comes up within a few minutes even then I move on You can sit in silence for an entire day and that's beautiful a lot of what will come up within it with an entire day But for me at this point in my life if something doesn't kind of bubble up within a few minutes Then I walk away and I'll try again at some other time throughout the day or evening Or if I wake up in the middle of night and I'm worried about it Then I'll just say something sweetly about like please give me some insight about what I'm worried about or what what's causing And turning in my brain and the next thing I say that's a non-negotiable is what would this look like if it were? Exactly how I wanted it to be not this compromised version and not let's like see how we can fit it in or it's Like probably they'll allow this version but like really the ideal version of what this would look like And what I noticed is that if there's this really big gap between the reality and the ideal Then it's typically a no but if there's like a small gap between the reality and ideal then it's usually a yes because I'm also a very logical person and I understand that you know Sometimes you have to make these small Compromises in life in order for it to work for all parties involved and that's totally fine with me You know like that my hell. 

Yes doesn't exclude Somebody else's like, you know, hell yes, right like we can come together on it But if it requires me to override something that deeply matters, right? So time with my family or maybe it's this design that I have around my summers and that's really good information for me to know and for me to To consider as I move through this decision So really leaning in doesn't mean that I have to say yes to everything It means I just have to be really honest with what I actually want So you just need to be honest with what you want and have the willingness to ask for what you want another place I see this come up all the time is when women are considering a move their house is beautiful The neighborhood's great. The kids are settled and on paper everything works But there is this pool for something different right more nature a slower pace a different kind of community Not having to get drive in the car and commute so much and it doesn't always make sense because Moving is very disruptive. I'm Delaying it as much as I can if there's additional cost to it It means that you have to start over in a lot of ways but the decision becomes Do I stay because everything is fine or do I lean into this pool that I cannot fully explain and again? The question isn't should I move because the answer will probably be no, but the question should more be What would it look like if it were exactly what I wanted it to be? Maybe it's not a full move. 

Maybe it's spinning spinning summer somewhere else I'm what recently I was speaking to one of my clients and she said that Summers where she is in Massachusetts, I believe she says it's very expensive Summer camps are really expensive for the kids. She and her husband work full-time and so They actually are gonna go to Portugal in the summer for a month And she says it's actually cheaper for them to stay there for the summer than it is to Stay in Massachusetts, and she's able they're both able to work from Portugal so that fit them because she was like I can't live here the for the rest of my life But this felt like a really good compromise to her Maybe it's a second home. Maybe it's just creating more space in your current life But when you've let yourself explore the ideal the ideal most beautiful circumstance You can really start making decisions from this place of alignment instead of just being obligated to your mortgage your contract to you know, your 30-year plan and What this ideal also does is put in the vision of what's possible. 

Like I mentioned before with my Wanting summers to spend time with my family in a slower way with travel and a lot of we do a lot of road trips Too it's not like we do these, you know, European vacations we do National park visits and things like that so You're really able to create if you know what your ideal is a vision of what the ideal is and then hold that in your Visions for the year. I typically write them on the first day of the year and I write it all out and say like this is what I want to accomplish this year and this is how I want to feel and so what I want my life to look like so anyway And you don't ever know unless you give yourself space to create the ideal. So that's another example of how this would work and Yeah, I mean, I'm gonna wrap this up by just letting you know that my ideal and this scenario with this job is interesting because The summer comp isn't a compromise like I won't be able to Do much about that, especially since we have this summer planned and then we have the following summer planned however the amount of money that I would make per hour isn't enough isn't a Deal breaker so Typically when I have when I would be working and getting paid an hourly rate wage I would have this number in mind and it's like no you can't go below that number But with this I'm willing to be a little bit more flexible And the other thing I'm willing to be more flexible in is the hours per week. 

I'm Flexible in the days a week that I work All of that. I have a lot of flexibility within for the employer the other piece I was thinking is maybe I could offer it to be a PRM status where it was would be ads as needed and I know that he was looking at taking more time off in the On Fridays so I could come in on Fridays And then maybe when some of the other providers were out so I could really fill in when other people When the clinic when the office space really needs me most Versus it being something where the new person comes in who's part-time and then take seven weeks off in the summer because you know Everybody would hate me So is there just kind of like some ideas that I had but I don't think that the summer is a non-negotiable Especially since my kids are getting older and eventually they're not gonna want to travel with me anymore So sometimes yell the right decision doesn't come from more information or talking to a bunch of people about it It really comes from creating enough space to hear yourself clearly like here what bubbles in up as your next step and For you to know that when I was got silent and it was only took me about four to five minutes for this to pop Up was the PR an option I was like, this is a wonderful option for me to offer him and say I would love to work at your clinic I would love to learn from your vast knowledge and from the knowledge of your Coworkers, it'd be fun to work with co-workers again. I've been in the online solopreneur space for so long It would just be a lot of fun Um, but yes, it only took about four to five minutes for me to hear that PR an option which I think is a really good one and Trusting the not every opportunity is meant to be taken but the ones that stay with you might be and Even recognizing that the opportunity that passes you by might not mean be meant to take it now But it might be there later or something similar to it. 

And since you've already gone through that process This isn't the first job that's been offered me over the past several years But this is the first one that actually feels like it might be close to ideal. So I hope this was something that you were able to lean into and I as always hope that you enjoyed listening to this episode as much as I Enjoyed recording it for you The world needs the vibrance and wisdom of a woman's intuition to help heal the world When we learn to trust ourselves through leaning into and through discomfort We learn to trust ourselves and in that space is our power and clarity