The Reality Is
Welcome to "The Reality Is," a podcast where the pastors of Crossroads Community Church gather to discuss the practical application of biblical principles in our daily lives. Join us as we explore how faith can guide us through the challenges and triumphs of real life. Whether it's relationships, work, or personal growth, we're here to help you live out your faith meaningfully. This podcast's premise is about how to apply biblical principles to our everyday lives. Tune in for insightful conversations that inspire and empower you to pursue Christ with every moment of your life.
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The Reality Is
Christian Accountability That Actually Helps
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“Am I my brother’s keeper?” sounds like a simple question, but it exposes a huge gap in modern Christian community. We’ve heard it used as a shutdown line, a way to avoid getting involved. We take the opposite stance: yes, we are responsible to love our brothers and sisters with real action, real honesty, and real presence, even when it costs us comfort.
We start in Genesis 4 with Cain and Abel, then move into 1 John 3 where love is defined as a choice that shows up. From there, we get practical with Romans 14 and the idea of a stumbling block: even when something isn’t technically sinful, it can still harm a weaker believer’s conscience. We also unpack 1 Corinthians 8 where Paul lays down a tough principle for Christian freedom: if my choices confuse or damage my brother, love tells me to lay down my rights.
We also talk about what accountability should actually look like. Galatians 6 calls us to restore people gently, which means trust, prayer, and the right attitude, not random public correction. And we go deeper than “sin management” into real care: meeting needs, offering comfort we’ve received from God, and refusing to accept “I’m fine” when someone is clearly carrying silent suffering. Finally, we bring it home with Proverbs 27: iron sharpens iron, and that sharpening only happens when we make time and do life together.
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Six AM Faith And Friendship
SPEAKER_00Uh I've joked many times that Tuesday mornings is when I do my Bible study with my men. And it takes place at 6 o'clock in the morning. You know I hate 6 o'clock in the morning. You didn't know it came. I damn. What do you mean? What happens? Who's up at this time? Hate six o'clock. And I every Tuesday I tell my guys, man, I hate I hate six o'clock in the morning. But I love seven o'clock in the morning. Because after I've done that hour with them, seven o'clock in the morning feels great for me. Absolutely. Make the time.
SPEAKER_01The reality. When a real life meets real fun. The reality. When the real life meets real faith.
SPEAKER_00Welcome to the reality is podcast, where we're here today to talk about real life and real faith. My name is Joey. I've got Richard here with me. And before we get started, would you guys do us a favor? Would you like, subscribe, share this with your friends? And if you're watching online, will you ring that bell? That way you can subscribe to our channel and never miss an episode of what's happening here on the reality is podcast. But before we get started with today's topic, last week we were talking about sin and how to deal with the sinful things in our life. And so if you guys haven't listened to that episode, please go back. Take some time to really deal with that because I think it can really help you with the challenges that are going on in your life. But today, you brought up a topic, and I said earlier, I said, Oh, this reminds me of something that I was watching a long time ago. But you said, Am I my brother's keeper? And a lot of times I've heard it as a negative statement. Well, am I my brother's keeper? And they're gonna go, Well, no, no, I'm not my brother's keeper. But I think you have a different answer,
The Real Meaning Of Keeper
SPEAKER_00don't you? Right.
SPEAKER_02You know, am I my brother's keeper? All the way. Right. And so we tag off the the last five or six uh weeks, actually. We've been looking at sin in our life, we've been looking at the emotions that were sinful in our life. And then we talked last week about, you know, how do I defeat that?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Well, thinking along those lines is Joey, you gotta put the right people in your life.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Right? And so if if if I'm going to be the right person in someone's life, okay, then I've got to say I am my brother's keeper. And I don't think a lot of people like to hear that. No, they don't. No, they don't. You know, when the first time we find that question is in in scriptures in Genesis chapter four. Yeah. But Cain does say it negatively, right? So God says, Where's Abel? And and Cain is like, you know, given a smart answer, and he goes, Am I my brother's keeper? And and of course he found out he was. And so when we think about what it means and and how we look at this, uh, am I my brother's keeper? And the answer all the way is absolutely. And so if if if I'm going to walk with you and and and we're going to call ourselves friends, and we're going to call ourselves beyond friends, we're going to call ourselves brothers in Christ, and yet we're going to wink at sin and we're we're not going to challenge one another, call one another out. Now, we talk about the challenge of sin like it's a negative thing, right? And I hope listening to this podcast, people realize it's not a negative thing, it's it's very much a positive thing, right? Because it is you demonstrating the love of Christ to someone. Now, there's always the way you do it, right? And and the attitude you do it with. And so, am I my brother's keeper? I would argue absolutely. And and so when we think about that, listen to what 1 John chapter 3 says. And I think this will kind of trigger us off where we need to go. It said, for this is the message that you heard from the beginning that we should love one another. Okay. So here we go again. Love. All right. Remember, love is a choice, it's it's not an emotion. If if love is an emotion, that means, okay, you make me mad, I don't love you anymore, right? But it is a choice. Okay. And listen to the example, the apostle John cave. Not as Cain, who was the wicked one and murdered his brother. Yeah. And why did he murder him? Because his works were evil and his brothers were righteous. Okay. And so am I my brother's keeper? Absolutely, if I love one another. If I don't, what is he saying?
SPEAKER_00I'm a Cain. You're being just like Cain. Right. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And so scary statement. But it's wicked. But listen, I would argue it it goes a step further because it's my refusal to be my brother's keeper is because I'm happy in my unrighteousness. Okay. Yeah. Otherwise, if if I challenge you in your sin, that means I'm giving you a right to challenge me in my sin. All right. And so what we'll do, we'll just have a sin truce. Yeah. Right? And and I'll leave you alone, you leave me alone, as as we would say when I was growing up, you do your thing, I'll do my thing. Right. And that's not what scripture teaches us. And so when we're talking about a my br my brother's keeper, I would argue a hundred percent. And and I, you know, it's easy to say, but I think sometimes it's tougher to define what that means.
SPEAKER_00It it it is. And you bring up the fact about speaking into each other's life, you know, challenging each other to say, hey, I see a sin in your life, and I'm giving you the freedom to say you see a sin in my life. I I think in some cases, people will look on and go, Well, since I don't want them to point out a sin in my life, I'm just not gonna say anything. Or it could also be the opposite. Man, I just I love the relationship that we have, and I know if I bring this up, they're probably gonna get mad, and I don't want them to get mad, so I'm just not gonna say anything. And in that respect, right there, you're not being your brother's keeper.
SPEAKER_02No, you're not, you're really not. And and so knowing that it is a biblical mandate, yeah, all right. So let me just try to kind of break this down in several different areas that we can think about. If I'm my brother's keeper, the first thing I would argue that I have to be conscious that my actions absolutely impact my brother or my sister, it's it's my my fellow in Christ, to stumble. It entices them to stumble. So I adjust my attitude, my actions accordingly. In Romans 14, verses 12 through 23, it is so clear that I am not to put a stumbling
Freedom Without Being A Stumbling Block
SPEAKER_02block in front of my brother. Yeah, absolutely. So, you know what, we we can argue all day long about what's good, what's bad, what's indifferent. We can we can run all the flags we want to run up the pole. Yeah, but at the end of the day, if I am walking with Christ and and I am living the life, I should be able to say, as the apostle Paul said, on a couple of different occasions, follow me as I follow Christ. Now, he wasn't saying do what Paul does, is what he was saying is until you figure out this Christian thing, because they were new believers. And he said, as you're growing in your faith, you'll figure it out. Until then, you follow me and you can be certain I'm following Christ.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. You know what that does, though, and and and how it becomes really challenging is because at some point you've got to stop doing the things that you like to do. Right. You've got to stop doing the things that you want to do because now you've just accepted that other people are going to be following you, behaving the way you do. And this is this is why I love what we say here. Hey, we're making disciples who are making a difference because to make a disciple, I am literally telling you, I want you to examine my life and I want you to do the things that I'm doing. And therefore, I want you to take that, what I have shown you, and now show to other people. But you have to change and adjust yourself in order for that to truly happen. So, so as you're talking about being my brother's keeper, you know I've got different people who are being discipled by me, being mentored by me, and and I have to show, and and they're open to my whole life. You know, it's not just the oh yeah, you you come and see me at church and you do the things that I do while I'm here at church. No, you're watching how I live. How am I as a dad? How am I as a husband? How am I as a man of God? And these are the things that you've opened up to allow these people to see you doing in your life. You have to change who you are if you are giving people that type of freedom. And I think a lot of people don't want to change who they are.
SPEAKER_02They do not. And you know, one of the great examples of that is found in 1 Corinthians 8, and it's uh where the apostle Paul is uh talking to them about eating meat offered to idols. There you go. Okay, now that could go to a lot of different areas of life. Now, here's what Paul said he said, you know what, eating that meat does not bother me. He said, That idol is a dumb piece of rock, right? It has no power, it has no authority, it's nothing. And and so it doesn't bother me to eat that. Paul was saying it has no power over me. And, you know, if you kind of look historically at what happened, eating the meat that was offered to the idols, that was, man, that was like going to the discount store, right? And because they sacrificed it and and then you, it was discount, man. It was a place to buy meat. But what happened is you had all these believers in Corinth that were coming out of idol worship. They believed in the power of those idols. They just thought Christ was a stronger God, right? And and so they're trying to come out of that, and they're offended when they see people who claim to be a Christian going to the market of the gods, not God, but the little g, okay, going to the market of the gods and purchasing meat that supports the gods, right? Yes. And they're saying, I've got a problem with that. Either you're serving the God of all creation or you're serving all the gods of this earth, but you can't have it both ways. So Paul says, look, it doesn't bother me to go down there and eat a piece of meat because it's cheap. It's just yeah, it's just meat. And that dumb piece of rock doesn't mean a thing to me. It is not me. But he said, if it offends my brother, if there is a chance that someone's going to see me in that market and think that I observe that God in that market, I will not go there. Period. Okay. And so when we look at that, he is saying, There's nothing sinful about me eating this meat. Yeah. Okay. But what's sinful is that I know it offends my brother and I'm going to do it anyway.
SPEAKER_00There you go.
SPEAKER_02And so I think it's so important that we understand, you know what, that it's just a matter of saying, how important is this to me? Exactly. You know, sometimes people will come and they'll ask me, and there's so many things that fall into this category, and and we know that. And and people will come to me and they'll ask, and I'll go, okay, well, typically what they're asking me inherently is not sinful. Many times, though, it is things that have the the real opportunity of abuse. Yes. And and I warn them of that, but but then I always go back to you can claim your freedom all you want. The question is, is what happens when that weaker brother in Christ sees it and and therefore makes it okay, and they don't understand control, they don't understand uh restraint. And there you are. You've you've created that. You know, it it really goes back to there is a line in this, okay? Everybody's got a problem with everything, Joe. Yeah, absolutely. Right. And and and so I have had people tell me things in my life have offended them, and and when able, I remove those things. Absolutely. Right when it's reasonable, absolutely, and and things that I see no problem with. You know, one of the stories I like to tell is uh the first church I pastored was a a church in in western North Carolina, and we did a thing called homecoming, right? It was the one Sunday night a year I didn't preach, right? So it was like, all right, so we had homecoming, dinner on the grounds, singing on the grounds, and and so we had a man in our church that he had a big pond in his yard. I mean, like a lake. I mean, he kind of lived on a private lake. And so he and I went fishing that evening. Oh my goodness. You would have thought I was burying bodies in the lake, man. Yeah, people were so angry that the pastor went fishing on Sunday. And you know what? I didn't fish on Sunday anymore. I just I do now, but it didn't end.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But again, you have the right to, and there was nothing sinful about what, but it offended them. It offended people in that church in that community, and I said, I will not do it. The last church I pastored there was a a lady and in number one, she thought I should have hair. And I agreed with her. I should. Yeah. You know, but God said no. Talk to the Lord, He cut it, not me. And and she hated my Harley. She just it it just gave her ulcers that that I wrote a Harley. And and she would tell me. She would just flat out tell me. And and you know what, Joey, I I didn't go try to grow hair, and and I didn't get rid of my Harley.
SPEAKER_00I mean, they have these pills you could take, stuff that you could rub on your head, you know.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. No.
SPEAKER_00If you didn't want to offend her, you should have done that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I I could do that, you know.
SPEAKER_02But oh, there's so much I could say. Please don't, please don't. We we are limited on time. You threw you. You were so close to dragging me down a little right. I know. So but when we look at that, so I really want people to hear what we're saying. All right. You there is a line. There is a line where where it just becomes preference. I mean, I I know I know one pastor, for instance, knew him. I I don't know him any longer, but uh that we're in different states. But you couldn't serve in the leadership of that church if you had cable TV coming into your home. Okay, because he said that if you have cable TV in your home, that you know, you have all the evil and yada yada. And okay. So I I'm like, okay, you also can't get ESPN. But anyway, uh so you know, I I just think my point being is the line out there could never stop in. Exactly. And so what you have to do, you have to look at your own life and you have to say, okay, if someone is doing what I do, yeah, and I would argue this one, am I bringing glory to Christ with it? That's the real question. And and so if I can't glorify Christ with it, you know, I use my bike, and it's not just a statement, it's a fact. I use my bike and Christian rallies and stuff, right? So anyway, absolutely. If I can't bring glory to God with it, then I don't need it in my life. I would also argue if there's a real chance of abuse of it, yeah, either by me or someone else, I don't need it in my life. And so if maybe I can control it, or I maybe, maybe I'm okay with it. Yeah, but is someone watching me going to think it's okay and they can't control it? And and I think you have to answer those questions. And then you really I I mean, it's like I say, what is worth a man's soul? So I'm gonna fight to keep this in my life and and take a chance very soul and on driving someone away.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So so what I'm hearing is you're offering me your Harley because you're getting rid of it.
SPEAKER_02Is that what I'm hearing? No, I don't want you to be a sinner. Um so No.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, okay. And and and as my brother's keeper, you're saying no, Joey. I'm gonna have to keep the Harley myself.
SPEAKER_02I'll carry that burden. You know, it it it's okay. Thank you, brother. I'm I'll get you a Yamaha. So, but anyway, that's another sermon. So I see you're getting me in trouble. I told you you're not.
SPEAKER_00There's somebody with a Yamaha out there that's so mad at you. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Well, they're gonna go talk to their brother that rides a Honda. Okay. So you're just offending everybody. Goodness gracious. Okay. So as as we think about this, uh, so I do have to ask myself, am I a stumbling block?
SPEAKER_00Absolutely.
SPEAKER_02And I don't think that's hard. I mean, you just look at your life. Second of all, yeah, being my brother's keeper means that when you notice your brother doing things that are not godly, things that are dangerous in their life spiritually, okay, you have a close enough relationship with that person that you'll speak into their life. You should. You absolutely. If I'm my brother's keeper, I'm going to.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely.
SPEAKER_02And and if if I don't do that, then the question is, is, is, am I, am I ignoring their well-being?
SPEAKER_00I I heard a cute little story
Speaking Up With Trust And Prayer
SPEAKER_00about that, and I probably even shared with them on the podcast before. Is you you're an older brother, and you see your little sister with the ugliest little dress on, and she has done her hair absolutely horrible, and she's just painted her face as I mean it is she is destructive looking. But she's so happy with her look, and she wants to go outside, and she wants to go to school like this, and she wants to show everybody. The older brother knows, man, if you go to school looking like that, you're gonna be ripped apart, people are gonna make fun of you, you're gonna be teased, you're gonna come home crying, right? What do you do as the loving brother? Do you tell your younger sister, this isn't the look for you? Why don't we go do something else? Or do you go, well, I don't want to hurt her feelings because she's so happy right now. I'm just gonna let her go out of the house like that and go to school like that. As the loving brother, which one do you choose?
SPEAKER_02Exactly. You know, and and I think it's Galatians 6, 1 and 2, right? And you who are spiritual, come alongside the one that is struggling. And and I think there's a couple things to remember the way he words that for us. And one of them is guess what? I I'm not always the spiritual one. Sometimes I'm the one that needs someone to come alongside me, and and then sometimes I come alongside others. But if I'm my brother's keeper, when I see something in my brother's life, then I am doing him an injustice. And I would argue I'm sinning by not speaking into his life.
SPEAKER_00And and it's but it's again, it's the way you say it, right? Well, yeah, it's always how you approach it. Like you're not gonna go to the little girl and go, girl, you were what you are terrible. No, no, no, no. You go in a loving way. Hey, you know, you I I like that you like this, but but let's change because right now is not the time to do this. Like you you have a conversation about it. You and I, in a conversation, you see something in my life, you say, Hey, let's talk. Can I bring this up to you? Hey, this is this is what I'm noticing in your life. But you've also said in the past, there's a trust that comes with that. That's over time. Like, I don't get to say, oh, well, here's a guy over here who goes to our church. I don't really know him, but since I'm I'm his I'm my brother's keeper, I'm gonna go up to him and I'm gonna rip him apart and let him up. No, you don't have that type of authority over him. You know, you've got to build up that trust. Who in your own life do you see things happening? And gosh, and I might be wrong for saying this, and you're probably gonna rip me apart for saying this. But I feel like sometimes we're so close with our friends and we don't want to offend them or hurt them, we're not gonna say anything that we should be saying to that person. But here's somebody who I don't really know, so I'm gonna use my Christian judgment and I'm gonna go over there and I'm gonna judge that person. And I'm thinking, you you've kind of mixed that up.
SPEAKER_02No, absolutely. And and the truth is that the other point, I would argue this. If I'm speaking into your life, I've got to give you the right to speak into mine. Exactly. Right. And so if you're leaving my sin alone, I'm gonna leave yours alone, right? We we're just flying the truce flag. And and and that becomes the problem. And then neither one of us are doing what scripture teaches. And so I would say that if you if you do have godly love for your brother or sister in Christ, that you cannot with clear conscience, uh scriptural conscience, sit back and watch things in their life that you know are unpleasing to God. And and you know the thing about it is I've had people speak into my life and me not even thinking about the appearance of something in my life, right? It wasn't necessarily a horrible thing, and but yet the appearance of gave a whole different story. Absolutely. And and I think we have to recognize that that there are times in our life that we just have to say, you know what, you may not be doing anything wrong. But brother, let me tell you what the appearance is. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_00And and you you take that and you do with what you want, but yeah, and and to borrow your phrase that you like to say a lot, I would argue that it's not one of those conversations that you just shoot from the hip and have. Like you've got to pray. Like you're you're first of all, you're in the spirit, you're praying for your brother, you're praying about how you're gonna have that conversation with them, and then you do it.
SPEAKER_02No, absolutely. And and because again, you you go with the wrong attitude, then then it's not a challenge to a brother in Christ. At that point in time, it does become a conflict with a brother in Christ, right? And typically, when it becomes a conflict, we're deflecting. Our own sin. We're uh, you know, we love to to pull the attention off ourselves, we pull the attention off ourselves by by pointing out to others in that. And and so it it is. I mean, so it if I am going to have a brother in Christ, then I've got to be mindful of this is things in my life that could send the wrong message. And and so I don't want them there. Okay. Then I have to be mindful that if I'm a brother in Christ, if I see something in my brother's life, then I've got to say something. Absolutely. And and if I don't, then then I'm allowing them to head down. You know, and that's on you. Right. Joy and I, we love to ride the motorcycle and go places on it. And we were we used to do a lot of bike rallies. We we don't really do them anymore, but we used to do a lot of bike rallies.
SPEAKER_00You should give me your bike.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. No. And so we were we were at Myrtle Beach Bike Rally one year, and we were I I have a good sound system. And yes, you do. I pulled up next to you before. So I mean, we were coming down the boulevard over there, and and and I was I was I was rocking out, just uh it was not Christian music. And and and I was rocking out, just blaring down, just having a big old time. Yeah and you know, we we pull up to to a stop sign or red light, and and my wife leans up and and says in in my ear, she says, Pastor. And you know, that's yeah, it was like I can't hear you. Turn the music up more. Yeah, right. Um it it is things we I was caught in the moment. I know, right? Uh huh. And and and I was showing them how good my sound system was. And yes, and it is so easy to do. It's very easy to do. And and and Joey, if somebody doesn't say, what does that look like? Then there we are.
SPEAKER_00Right. And and you bring up your wife. Your wife is a great accountability partner for you because I can't tell you how many times my wife has said to me, Now, now you know you're representing Christ, right? Exactly. Or if I'm going out in public wearing the logo that I love to do because I'm always wearing something that's got the church logo on it. She goes, uh, you know you're you're representing the church, right? Yes, baby.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Joy made me take the fish off my back. Ah, I bet. You know. So now I have a picture of a bass on my truck. But anyway, you know, as as we stop and and think about that, you know, the other thing
Meeting Needs Beyond “I’m Fine”
SPEAKER_02is being my brother's keepers means that I am looking for and meeting their needs when it's in my ability to do that. You know, I'm praying for them, I'm meeting their needs both spiritually and physically, emotionally, and and all those other things. You know, as as men and for people in general, but for men especially, you know, we're we're really bad to, hey man, how are you doing? I'm fine. I'm fine. Right? Because somehow or another, that's become the the mark of a man to to to to not to not shed a tear. I was I was talking with a really solid Christian guy the other day, and and I mean, what I would call the model of Christian guys, and we were talking about uh funerals and deaths in families and stuff like that, and and he looks at me and he goes, you know, sometimes I felt like a sociopath. And and I went, okay. He goes, I get to these, and he said, I don't cry, I don't show emotion, and but but see, that's a badge of honor for men, right? I can and and yet we become that emotional support, we become that spiritual support, we become at times that physical support uh for that brother. You know, first John chapter 3, 16 and 18 says, you know what? Okay, you got this world's goods. First, he begins by saying, we know that he loves us because he laid his life down for us, right? And we also ought to lay our lives down. Okay. Now he's not talking about that you got to go out here and take a bullet for him, you know. And you might need to. Somebody sent me something the other day and said, you know, I'd take a bullet for you, but you're probably the reason we're getting shot at. So, you know, so exactly. It hurt my feelings. Uh and and so truth hurts. Yeah. But it is a matter of Christ isn't saying, okay, I I know you might be called on to lay your life, but you might be. But what he's saying is, is you'll give yourself. Yeah. Right. And he says, look, when somebody has this world's needs, it and you have the ability, and and as friends, you can't step in and help that person. And we have, we've all been there, right? Where we give and we give and we give, and then they just never seem to give back. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But I would argue being my brother's keeper means that I am stepping into that person's life. And and it may not be a physical need, it may be, again, a spiritual or an emotional need. And and and Joey, somebody's got to step into those situations.
SPEAKER_00I mean, we're called to give without expecting anything in return. We're doing it because we're showing the love of Christ. Period. Right.
SPEAKER_02It it comes back to being my brother's keeper is emotional, spiritual support is readily given. Okay. So I'm meeting physical needs when when needed and necessary. Second Corinthians 1, 3, and 4. I mean, it's it's some of my uh I love those verses, the God of all comfort comforts.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_02But why does he comfort? And he goes into verse 4 and he says, that comfort comes not so I can be comfortable, so I can comfort others. Yep. Okay. And so when when I think about what that looks like, and and I'm recognizing and understanding that part of being my brother's keeper is using my past hurts, my past failures, and speaking those into the life of another. Right. So we were talking about in the beginning, challenging. Yeah. Right. Well, it's one thing for me to come up and say, you know, you worthless pagan, look at what you're doing in your life. Okay. It's another thing for me to come up and say, I've been down that rat hole. Exactly. And let me tell you, there's nothing good down that hole. And and it's because God brought me through that. I can either hide it or I can use it.
SPEAKER_00Use it and share it. And I can't tell you how many young men I shall look, you and I both. We we didn't have the best Christian life before. Exactly. You know, and and so I share that. Like I'm open with the guys that I share with. Not to boast and look at what I used to be like, but to show them how bad it was and to say, I'm trying to steer you away from making those same stupid mistakes that I did so that you don't have to deal with the consequences that we talked about before. Right. You aren't dealing with the same consequences that I'm dealing with now in my life because of it. I'm trying to help them and guide them away from that.
SPEAKER_02And I would argue when I'm my brother's keeper that even though it's painful and even though there's things that we'd rather, if you will, keep in the closet, keep it hid, right? Yeah. But as my brother's keeper, I'm going to speak that into their life. Listen, I've been there. It was fun at the time. It seemed like a lot of fun. It seemed like, man, we're just we're on the top of the world. But I began to watch people around me drop one by one. And I began to see the consequences of that life. And and I came so close to being part of the casualty of that life.
SPEAKER_00Exactly.
SPEAKER_02And speaking that into someone's life. And if I'm my brother's keeper, Joey, I'm not going to sit back and and watch them move in a direction. To watch them withdraw and and and to withhold and and to never process pain or to never process hurt. And it's not healthy. And so as my brother's keeper, I become that safe place, that safe spot. But most men, again, love the I'm fine answer. Yes. Right? And, you know, don't put me in a room and ask me how I feel. Okay. That's not it's not my scene, as they say. It's not where I want to be.
SPEAKER_00I'm not, no. I'll go a step further and say most men want to hear I'm fine because they don't want to have to deal with the mess. How you doing?
SPEAKER_02Fine. Good. Good. I'm gr great. Lord love you, man. Here for you if you need me. Yeah. Right? And and and so I I would argue that that if you're your brother's keeper, when when they're going through things that obviously are are tough things in their life, that you don't take I'm fine as an answer. Yeah. Exactly. That you you you push a little bit, you prod a little bit. Guess what? They may be fine, right? Yep. But they may not be. And they they just may need someone to speak into that in their life. Absolutely. And and so I I really, really challenge guys to to understand, you know what? I I got to be there for that guy. And and so many guys are carrying what I call silent suffering. Absolutely. Because they they don't have anyone in their life. You know, I there's not a lot, okay. I've I've got a extremely close friend, and and I I mean his name's Kevin, and Kevin and I go way, way, way, way, way back. I mean, we we were in law enforcement together and we we served together. We we've been we don't talk often, yeah, right? But when we do talk, it's like we're we're best friends. But but we today, I'm telling you today, I I can speak honest to that guy. I can tell him the truth about me, and I know that he's gonna speak truth back to me. Absolutely, and it stops right there, right? That's what you gotta have in your life, Joey. And if you're your brother's keeper, you've got people like that.
SPEAKER_00I was gonna say, I was gonna challenge the other side to say, if you don't have those people in your life, find them. Right. Because you need to have those people in your life that you feel like you can say, hey, here's what's happening with me, honestly. And and know that it they aren't judging you, they just want to talk to you and they want to help you through it.
SPEAKER_02Right. And and if you don't have that, I I just can't emphasize enough. You've you've got to get that in your life. And and if you're not that guy, then you've got to say, you know what? God has positioned me in the life of these men, that my circle of influence, and I need to step my game up in my circle. Now you you you start trying to stick your nose in everybody's life. Yeah. Okay, that's what Peter calls a busybody. Yeah. Okay. So I'm not trying to stick my nose in everybody's life, but those men in my circle of influence, I need to be speaking into their life. Very much so. Right. And you know, also being my brother's keeper
Iron Sharpens Iron Through Time
SPEAKER_02fulfills the idea presented in Proverbs 27, 17 of iron sharpening iron. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. And so if I'm my brother's keeper, then I'm going to sharpen him as he sharpens me. You know, a lot of people don't realize what that is, but you you you take a knife and you take a sharpening stone or a sharp sharpening rod, a piece of steel, and and if you know what you're doing, you can put an edge on that that, as they say, you can shave with. Now I can dole one in a hurry doing that. But but you know, two pieces of steel, one sharpens the other.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Okay. And and so, but it takes friction for that. You you can't tap them together, you can't gently rub. Guess what? You got to strike them together. And when you strike them together, the sparks fly. Yeah. But yet you're sharpening that. And it's so important for you to have people in your life that are sharpening you and that you're sharpening.
SPEAKER_00And that's why you want to make sure you have good people in your life. Because as we've said before, and I I think it was last week we were talking about evil company corrupts good behavior, and it's never the other way around. It never happens the other way. Like, I don't know how many times I've hung out with bad people thinking I'm gonna influence them. Yeah. And you come out later going, I can't believe I did that. Man, how did that happen? Because the Bible told you clearly it doesn't happen the other way around.
SPEAKER_02Right. And so you put evil people in your life, you put uh corrupt people in your life, you're gonna be corrupt. You're gonna turn into that. I'm sorry. Right. And so so what I need to be is I need people in my life. And and again, I would argue that you can't have 50 people in your life doing this, right? And so you you need those people in your life, though, that that are gonna brush up against you, that are gonna challenge you, that that are that are gonna sharpen you. And and if you have that, then then you are your brother's keeper, and and they are their brothers, and and you're able to make disciples who make a difference, as we say here at the church. And so it's absolutely essential. Another one is being my brother's keepers means you build relationships, listen, by making time for that person, sharing meals, getting to know them, getting to know their family, whatever the case is, right?
SPEAKER_00And and we're in a world of busyness. I get that. Everybody's busy. I don't have time to get together, I don't have time to do this, I don't have time to do that. I'm sorry, sometimes you have to make the time. And and and you just put it say, oh, but it's inconvenient. Yeah, I get it's inconvenient. It's all right. But you're going to realize after you've been inconvenienced, how convenient it is to actually have somebody like that in your life. Uh I've joked many times that Tuesday mornings is when I do my Bible study with my men, and it takes place at six o'clock in the morning. You know, I hate six o'clock in the morning. You didn't know it came. What do you mean? What happens? Who's up at this time? Hate six o'clock. And and I every Tuesday I tell my guys, man, I hate I hate six o'clock in the morning. But I love seven o'clock in the morning. Because after I've done that hour with them, seven o'clock in the morning feels great for me. Absolutely is make the time.
SPEAKER_02Right. And I I would argue that you're not your brother's keeper if you can't make time for your brother. You have to. Okay. Now, I'm not talking about making time to to goof off, although I would argue that's also important. It's part of it. Right. It's part of it. But let me tell you something. If your brother needs you, you got to make time for it. Absolutely. And and I would argue that if if you're never spending time with that brother, then are you their keeper? Yeah. I mean, you you don't know them, you're not spending time with them, you're you're not sharpening because you're you're not there. Yep. You know, and so so I would I would just say you you got to know them. You got to, I would argue you got to know their families, man. You you gotta be part of their life to be their keeper.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And and hold that time as valuable time too. Oh, absolutely. You know, because again, things can come up and you go, oh, I can't get together. Oh, I can't get together. And then it becomes the routine and the habit to say, oh, this isn't as important, therefore I'm okay doing other plans. No, that's got to be valuable time for you guys.
SPEAKER_02Well, thinking of a guy, and I'm and I'm not gonna use his name because everybody in this room would know who he was, but but it's it's a guy that that will drop whatever he's doing and come to the rescue of another. It's a guy that'll spend his own money to help someone else. It's it's a guy that literally will inconvenience himself to the nth degree to serve another. Yeah. Right? And and that's being your brother's keeper, man. That that is stepping into someone's life and it shows. And and and I mean I know that guy.
SPEAKER_00He just he just showed up at my house last Tuesday. Yeah. I know that guy.
SPEAKER_02The guy, right? And now I can't get him to come to my house, but but I get that. But you know, and I hope he hears this. Uh but no, I mean, it is it is people like that, you need in your life that show up when you least expect it. The one that the one that looks at, sees, and recognizes there's a need. And and let me tell you something, though, brother, you gotta give back. Yes, thank you. You gotta give back. Thank you. And and so it's so important. And then just finally, I think when we're talking about being our brother's keeper, and we can kind of bring all this together simply with this statement, uh, it means doing life together even when it's not convenient. There you go. Right? There you go. When I'm you know, one of the things we talk about with our life groups here is we do life together. Yep. Okay. And I'm telling you, when you're your brother's keeper, you do life with them even when it's not convenient. Exactly. There are a handful of guys, not many, truthfully, but but there are a handful of guys that I know that that one phone call, they'll move heaven and earth. Even if I'm wrong, they're not gonna leave me in the ditch. Exactly. Okay? And out of love, they're going to be my keeper. Yeah, right. And and man, you gotta have people you do life with.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely. That's simple. Yeah. We, as you know, a couple of weeks ago, I'll have a podcast on what a life group looks like. And then the week before that, the importance of life group. And we mentioned that same point. You're doing life together. You started the statement of this whole podcast. Am I my brother's keeper? And your word was absolutely yes, you are. Part of that is doing life together. And now that you know you are your brother's keeper, are you making time to spend with that person so that you can do life together? Life. Not, hey, we're just gonna show up and and and we're gonna have fun together, or we're gonna no, you're doing life together. That means the good times, that means the bad times, that means the just common nothing time. Are we gonna have fun? Yeah, we're gonna have some fun times. Are we gonna have some sad times? Yeah, we're gonna have some sad times. That's life.
SPEAKER_02Right. And and you gotta have that. Amen. And all of us need that.
SPEAKER_00Amen. So okay, wrap this thing up for us.
SPEAKER_02You know, I I would just sum it up in just a simple statement. If if you're your brother's keeper, uh, it means you don't turn away from that
Final Charge And Farewell
SPEAKER_02brother, regardless. And I can't emphasize that enough. They may be dead wrong in what they've done, but you don't turn away. Somebody has to step into that man's life. Yeah. Um, you look out for people, right? You take responsibility for their welfare. You know what? I don't say, well, you made your choice. No, I take responsibility for your welfare. And I act with love when it counts. And uh, I would argue, man, I am my brother's keeper.
SPEAKER_00Hey, man. I love that. Thank you so much, man. Appreciate the time. And thank you guys for your time for tuning in to the Reality Is Podcast, where we're here talking about real life and real faith. Do us a favor, like, subscribe, share this with your friends, and ring the bell. That way you're never missing another episode of the Reality Is Podcast. For now, we'd like to say we will see you next time. God bless you. Have a wonderful day.