Have you ever stood at the crossroads of heartbreak and healing, pondering whether to forgive a partner's betrayal? Our latest episode wades into these turbulent waters, with our guests Sade, Egypt, and Devonte illuminating the paths one might take after infidelity strikes. We confront head-on the scenarios that challenge our capacity for forgiveness, such as the intoxicating brush with celebrity attention or the unexpected temptations that can lead even the strongest to falter. Premeditation, emotional ties, and the haunting question of whether past indiscretions can ever truly remain in the past are all dissected in a candid exploration of trust and intimacy's fragile dance.
As we peel back the layers of betrayal, we find ourselves examining the very essence of our personal boundaries. What happens when the sacred 'womb space' is violated? How do we choose between the agony of staying and the unknown of walking away? The dialogue takes a turn into the realm of open relationships and the spectrum of commitment, shedding light on the diverse philosophies of trust. Through a tapestry of personal narratives, we bear witness to the emotional toll exacted by cheating and the formidable strength required to either rebuild a shattered relationship or courageously forge a new path alone.
In the realm of transformation, we ask: Can a cheater truly change their stripes? Reflecting on my own evolution from infidelity to fidelity, we unpack the role of love and remorse as potential harbingers of change. We also delve into the significance of communication, the benefits of counseling, and ultimately, the power of clarity and honesty within oneself and with a partner. As we wrap up, a lighter touch graces our conclusion, because sometimes, even in the weight of deep conversation, a little levity—and perhaps a meal—can be the best medicine.
Have you ever stood at the crossroads of heartbreak and healing, pondering whether to forgive a partner's betrayal? Our latest episode wades into these turbulent waters, with our guests Sade, Egypt, and Devonte illuminating the paths one might take after infidelity strikes. We confront head-on the scenarios that challenge our capacity for forgiveness, such as the intoxicating brush with celebrity attention or the unexpected temptations that can lead even the strongest to falter. Premeditation, emotional ties, and the haunting question of whether past indiscretions can ever truly remain in the past are all dissected in a candid exploration of trust and intimacy's fragile dance.
As we peel back the layers of betrayal, we find ourselves examining the very essence of our personal boundaries. What happens when the sacred 'womb space' is violated? How do we choose between the agony of staying and the unknown of walking away? The dialogue takes a turn into the realm of open relationships and the spectrum of commitment, shedding light on the diverse philosophies of trust. Through a tapestry of personal narratives, we bear witness to the emotional toll exacted by cheating and the formidable strength required to either rebuild a shattered relationship or courageously forge a new path alone.
In the realm of transformation, we ask: Can a cheater truly change their stripes? Reflecting on my own evolution from infidelity to fidelity, we unpack the role of love and remorse as potential harbingers of change. We also delve into the significance of communication, the benefits of counseling, and ultimately, the power of clarity and honesty within oneself and with a partner. As we wrap up, a lighter touch graces our conclusion, because sometimes, even in the weight of deep conversation, a little levity—and perhaps a meal—can be the best medicine.
Hello, welcome to Boozhi Bayou Witch's Pie Kaz. Today I am the host Toni, and this is the co-host Kamona. And this is my guest Shadeh with Sam, and this is my other guest, egypt, nice to meet you. And this is my other guest, rante. Welcome you guys.
Speaker 2:Welcome. Welcome, welcome board this topic today is going to be?
Speaker 1:will you forgive your man slash woman if they cheat?
Speaker 2:Ooh, let's talk about.
Speaker 1:I think this is a hot topic, so like very much so.
Speaker 2:So I'm going to go ahead and get started with Dave, would you forgive your woman if she cheated?
Speaker 1:It depends. It depends on what B.
Speaker 2:It depends on a couple of factors who, what, when, where. Okay, I guess I did like the examples. Okay, Say, if your girl, you know she got backseat passes to a concert or something, and she with her favorite celebrity or something like that, and you know she probably star-struck, Anything he may say she may do, you feel me, so you know it's a little bit of this.
Speaker 1:That's a simple mind of that. Never sorry, never sorry. I was like damn bagged up some music on you know it's one of her favorite friends.
Speaker 2:I probably wouldn't be.
Speaker 1:I'll be mad.
Speaker 2:Brandon yeah, I probably wouldn't break up with her.
Speaker 1:You know I'll be mad, but when you are, Hold on. Did she sell the Gucci a little bit, or did she just come with backstay passes? She came with backstay passes. Oh no, it's over because you could have got some bands. If that's the case.
Speaker 2:It did not only that, but you hold it against her as the relationship goes on. Oh yeah, I'll hear my name back. Ok. So, with that being said, why even?
Speaker 1:move further in the relationship. Like he said that you know the question I asked him. Would he, you know, hold it over her head in?
Speaker 2:the past, I wouldn't hold it over her head. Oh, you would mention it when you were mad. Well, you were mad, so why continue on? Never watch this video again. I don't do what I'm told.
Speaker 1:I'm followed, so why didn't you do this? So yeah, ok, let's just take an example.
Speaker 2:Second example say if she went to go get a massage or something like that. Oh I know when it's going. I knew it Because she didn't got, you know, a rose oh yeah, right, and it just happened, and he didn't want me to go down. You feel me so?
Speaker 1:I could forget that too. That's the good word, though I could forget that too, that's so true, relax, relax. You really forgive that huge fool. That's exciting. Hold on Me too. Would I bring it up in the future? Because, people, it's easy for us to say that we can forgive somebody. Do you forgive that person? Yeah, ok, ok.
Speaker 2:Watch out. Ok, the only reason I bring it up is if she, you know, caught me doing something after she done did it.
Speaker 1:No, you're talking to me again.
Speaker 2:now, Dude, talk to me. You're going to do something. What did?
Speaker 1:I say what did I just? Say so, if you forgive somebody, you don't bring it back up in their face.
Speaker 2:Then go, you don't know, shoot. She did the same thing. I'm like, yeah, what's the difference between you? And I Say it again, mom.
Speaker 1:Say it louder, Because when you truly forgive somebody because I do it all the time I'll say that I forgive somebody, but the moment I get triggered and I bring it back up to them, I know deep down within me I didn't forgive that person, my baby, that is just like that. So if you truly forgave a person, you will not throw it back up in their face, no matter what they do to you. Right, ok? So what about you, mom?
Speaker 2:So you got one more thing.
Speaker 1:Well, you forgave them all, so it is different. Number three Unforgivable. Ok, thank you, I'm not forgiving you.
Speaker 2:I wasn't on this for a hundred years If she applied and she actually going to cheat.
Speaker 1:yeah, I'm not forgiving that you know what I'm saying. She's on social media. She's an entertainer. Ok yeah, she's on a dating side. You know she's lurking, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:I'm not forgiving that. Ok, it's all you with, ok.
Speaker 1:I have a question for you, though. So if that's the case, that's unforgivable. What if she has came to you prior to doing all of that? If you're not satisfied and she came to you and tried to talk to you about it and still went to go to cheat, is it the same? You still wouldn't forgive her.
Speaker 1:Say it again If she came to you before she started trying to go troll and cheat because that takes, it's going to push somebody to do it, ok. So if she came to you it was like hey, you're not satisfying me in this area. It really came to try to talk to you and you did not take. He and she went to go cheat in the same way. Would you still be upset?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'll be upset.
Speaker 1:But she's trying to tell you.
Speaker 2:I'll be upset, because why would you cheat on me and you could have just broke up.
Speaker 1:You could have just broke up.
Speaker 2:Bad part.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just leave me, why me with me and cheat? On me, but she tried to talk to you. Why can't you say that?
Speaker 2:Because she still loved you a bit. She still loved you, yeah, so that gives hold on, hold on, even though she talked to you.
Speaker 1:That still don't give her a right to go cheat.
Speaker 2:No, no, I never said that it gave her the right, but she came to you and told her.
Speaker 1:So, as a person, what did you do to try to accommodate what y'all conversational?
Speaker 2:is Exactly that's being adult. That's communication.
Speaker 1:Is it not Based on that part of the relationship communication?
Speaker 2:Right, OK, I may try to, you know, meet her halfway on whatever it is that issue she brought up. You may try.
Speaker 1:Prior to her behavior, though. Ok, but it's not his fault if she decides to step out, and that's not his fault.
Speaker 2:But I was saying, would you look at it differently?
Speaker 1:Because she didn't respect the union. She didn't respect the union. He didn't expect the union, because communication is part of the union, is it not Right? But that's not enough reason for her to go over her legs while she's still with him. Thank, you.
Speaker 2:That's what she should have said. What about a?
Speaker 1:little head. It's called head. It's a little head. It's a little head. That's what she said. It's a little head, it's a little head it's. A little head it's a little head. It's a little head. If she got head from somebody else, is that cheating? So we're talking.
Speaker 2:What does it mean? It's just from a woman, we both just got to Gemini.
Speaker 1:Oh God, I don't know how to do that.
Speaker 2:I'm going to put the give you. Ok, I can understand that. I can understand that, I can roll with that.
Speaker 1:What if he didn't even penetrate you just?
Speaker 2:the head. Ok, I'm just asking.
Speaker 1:So let me ask you he's not touching, he's just eating.
Speaker 2:He's going to go. Why another man touching a woman?
Speaker 1:So if a woman, if your woman, cheated with a woman, it's OK.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to say it's OK, but I'm going to get it, because I'm going to say it's all right, here we go, here we go All right Mama you next?
Speaker 1:I still can't get over the part where she said a little head, A little head doesn't hurt nobody. A little head, but that's still a part of cheating. You don't think so? I'm not a good person for this baby Because my answer is going to be off the wall. Ok, no, I like honesty in the world. The honesty is this we need more honesty. Everybody's going to cheat, whether it's emotionally, physically, sexually, mentally Because isn't this man over here liking all these Instagram pictures of these bitch? Some sorry women with their booty out booty meet surgery, fine, they open their Instagram bottles. Bottle girls, that's what they like. Shaking butt, that's what they. Is that not cheating?
Speaker 2:mentally. Oh okay, so would you just cause for your man If he did it, you know, one or two times. Yes, I will.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, and you know I'll try to work through the issues with him. But if I notice that you know he's not changing, then you know, then I have to break the relationship off, because you know I'm not going to sit here and say I'm not one of these women's that have took somebody back after cheating, because I have, and you know he did it multiple times, over and over again, and I had to break the relationship off Because, yeah, you're not going to continue to cheat on me, Okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we don't have an open relationship. I don't do open relationships.
Speaker 2:That's a good point. I am a whole center.
Speaker 1:Oh, the thing is like um, I have been in situations where I have been cheated on and, although I say I forgive you, I tend to drag the shit out of you. So I'll end up in the same situation that you're in to, where we both have to fight about who needs to forgive who because I'm so hurt and I because because of the disloyalty, but more because you violated my womb space with somebody else's energy. I cannot get over that. Um, that is the part of it for me. This is my womb space is healthy, it's sacred, and you violated that. You violated me without my consent, so now I have another woman's and everybody else used up with energy in my womb space.
Speaker 1:So I cannot. I cannot truly forgive you, although I will say that I, because I'm working on that, right, but normally I'll start running it just as bad as you have, or worse, and then, um, it's very hard for you to forgive me once I finish with my bullshit, so it's best going forward. As you know, I've learned over the years. I cannot handle it and I probably would just leave you alone because it'll be safer for us, right? And what about you? Would you forgive me? Um, I'm gonna say, let me, let me, I don't. I mean, I've been the cheater. To my knowledge, I've never been cheated on. But also, you have to care about stuff like that.
Speaker 1:I feel like we have a certain. I am honestly, I like companionship over relationships, because I have an understanding with you. But I also can go talk to your friends still Okay, and you can do the same. I don't have no problem with that. But also to, if we go and down to the sexual levels, I'll have different, some different partners. I'm not gonna lie to you, like anybody can judge me. That's fine, dude will make you happy. Relationship for just titles. I do not want to be titled. I've been tired of my life, I don't want it and I feel like everybody's gonna cheat and everybody's in the polygamous relationship. It's just whether you know it or not. So therefore, I'm just live my life, open me. I guess you would be open relationships. I don't. I don't care if you cheat honestly, because I probably already did it three or four times.
Speaker 2:I appreciate your opinion because you know I had that.
Speaker 1:I got a hat hurt, so we can you know so yeah, like, and I had some people tell me yesterday that.
Speaker 2:I'll be in chief. I know I hate that, but we don't get on their neck, so will I forgive my man if he cheated.
Speaker 1:I'll forgive you what I won't be with you, amen.
Speaker 2:It's the wrong thing. I can't love you.
Speaker 1:I can't love myself too much to allow someone to cheat on me and be like I'm okay with it because I'm not gonna lie. I won't be okay with it and I'm not gonna stay in a relationship with him and I'm constantly throwing in his face. I don't feel as fair to him.
Speaker 2:It's not.
Speaker 1:It's not so I don't see it's big of you, right, I'll have to let him go, because I see a lot of women they get with these men and these men cheat on them. They complain, they fuss about it. But why are you, why did you take him back, like you weren't gonna truly forgive him for cheating on you? Then you should not get back with him, because it's not fair that you are him for you to throw it up in his face every time you get pissed off of me. Oh, what y'all got doing. You have to have cheating again. Well, you took him back.
Speaker 2:So what you know? You should have not let him cheat on you once he's a good chance he'll cheat on you twice, three times, four times.
Speaker 1:I haven't met him since he wanted to, Because guess what? He knows now that you're gonna keep allowing him back into your life. You know. So I'm sorry I might have to deal with him now. Yeah, he has no consequences of regressions. I'll forgive him, but no, we're not gonna move forward in our relationship.
Speaker 2:That part, that part.
Speaker 1:And I learned that too because, like I said, you know I have took somebody back twice after cheating and it thinks just didn't change. No, and you know I kept questioning his word about you know it's just like it was so unhealthy oh you gonna drive yourself to that.
Speaker 2:It was so, so, so mad. It was so, so mad. That's exactly what I did. That's exactly what I did.
Speaker 1:I was riding a friend at the club baby. She staked out this man till six in the morning. Now, stake out, isn't?
Speaker 2:it Never again.
Speaker 1:But as far as my mental it really took a lot out of me.
Speaker 2:I take the energy to believe it. I take the energy to believe it, all the misery any day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was younger back then and this is before I started my journey, but I'm so glad that I came to the point to I respect myself more now.
Speaker 2:Right, I'm not to do that I'm not to be honest. I can't be honest. Yeah, I'm very honest. I'm bingo and they can't.
Speaker 1:Right, I'm very honest.
Speaker 2:It's a conscious decision to stand with them.
Speaker 1:It depends how good, the deal is for me.
Speaker 2:I'm with the head.
Speaker 1:They say that was kind of my decision as well, because I was just like come on, and he got some really good.
Speaker 2:And then you gotta go search the first couple. It's too much. I'm a community. Let me tell you something I'm way too nasty.
Speaker 1:I'm way too nasty to allow you to do what we're doing, because I'm going to have you doing some really trolling shit.
Speaker 2:You're like eating and throwing that kind of stuff and I don't want you eating my groceries and coming back and eating mine for a while.
Speaker 1:No, but that's before you guys, before I found out about trans-furbile energy. You know, protecting my sacred. This is all before and now. You can't. It's just like go Gotta be careful. Yeah, you choose to be with her. Go be with her Wherever else and that's fine. But you know I'm not going to sit here and say, oh, I'm not a woman that never took somebody back. Yeah, I have.
Speaker 1:Let me ask you this though, and this is about to okay. So with the cheating, if you're not married to them, do you consider them truly? You know, bound to you, like what makes this contractual if it's naturalized, Okay. So Wow, wow, wow, from what my daddy always taught me, if you're not married to that person, you're not really committed to that person.
Speaker 2:You're single, so that's why he always stayed on us and said make sure you're not married to them. They're really single, because you all are not really together, but even with that.
Speaker 1:Oh, you got to be married to this person. It doesn't matter, even if you married to this person. These things it's still the same. You know what I've learned through my spiritual teachings. You know and thank you so much, queen, that you don't own anyone. You experience them right.
Speaker 1:Well, and we don't gauge our experience, you know, in a physical realm. We gauge our experience and how it relates to us, how you made me feel Right, how I felt when I was with you this week, dear. We might not even remember all the details to why he, when he, cheated, who it was, we might, but we remember that feeling, that experience. Yes, if you can cheat on me and you're kind to me, you're loving to me, we're laugh together. You're my best friend. Yeah, you fucked up because you ain't shit.
Speaker 1:But I love every part of you.
Speaker 2:Yes, that experience.
Speaker 1:The experience of you is not so daunting to me that it took all my energy and I remember that. But if you are a horrible man to me, be good, right, that's what it is. When you're a horrible man to me, you've hurt me time and every memory of you is something that broke me in some space, in some space, that is when I cannot forgive you. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:We all make mistakes and we do, we say it again Right, but I have to stay in the mind space that I am experiencing. You and the experience of you in this totality is beautiful, right, fuck, you fucked somebody else, but you fucking need so good. I don't want to let that dick go. Bow, bow, bow, because what they saying? He'll never leave the best eater boo-key. No, no more.
Speaker 2:I got caught up on that I got caught up on that.
Speaker 1:He took a step go when you was talking, he took a step go when you was talking. He took a step go when you was talking.
Speaker 2:He took a step go when you was talking. He took a step go when you was talking.
Speaker 1:See my next question for you is do you feel they can change? We don't want to leave you out, so you feel they can change. Yeah, I feel they can change.
Speaker 2:Yeah, people can change, I'll change, they can change. Everybody in this house will.
Speaker 1:They'll change and not cheat anymore. Okay, I feel, I feel that person care change. It may take a period of time, but I do feel like a person can change because I have cheated on somebody before and I changed over the years. So it yeah, I think people can change. Do you feel like you mentioned change?
Speaker 2:I.
Speaker 1:Feel like for a moment in time you can not cheat, but you feel like a man you would hurt and I'm sorry, but I guess we all three things because I don't think they can Attracted to him. But then he gets it, but at the same time, if he realized how bad he truly hurt somebody, that right there alone can make that person change and I agree with that. But you know, at the time and I'm reflecting back on another relationship I was the cheater and you know I felt bad after this person found out and I'm just like you know what, I would never do that again Cuz I didn't realize. But, and I do agree, if you truly love somebody deeply, know somebody you wouldn't.
Speaker 1:Even love it myself. Easy for me to make that decision that I made that night.
Speaker 1:Momma, yeah, after that person found out I felt so bad and I never did it again in any of our relationships. You told I don't know how he found out. Let me tell you, I the first time that ever cheated on me. I ain't gonna lie, I did go do something to get back at him what you do talking to you, my neck back, and then I let him go. Yeah, you know, of course do spillo talk cuz it got back to.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's why I said I think of all the times and I was vulnerable with you and I gave you the animals part to me.
Speaker 1:I'm only speaking of long-term relationships, yeah, and I've given you the end and we made a commitment to one another. That's, that's when I it's hard for me to forgive, but before I let you go, looking for me, talking about, he said Calvary, no, no, you like that's?
Speaker 2:a part of me though.
Speaker 1:That's a part of the little girl in me, right? Because the woman in me now understands that. Let him go.
Speaker 2:Just let him go. She's either signs beforehand, we are.
Speaker 1:I get to walk it cuz we ain't on the same Because he wasn't ready, like the. The fact that, like men kind of tell you upfront, whether they tell you out their mouth or they show you who they Are. Forehand and then we like we can change him. He ain't like that. Whoever they want, to Everybody that's saying that they own a spiritual journey. Is that not a change? Thank you. So yeah, people can change, but again, you're not to want to but just because somebody say that they own a spiritual journey, that doesn't mean that.
Speaker 2:Once you get to the part of your spiritual journey where you realize that you don't own people, you just experience.
Speaker 1:Oh, you can. People do usually allow more like they. They don't. They allow open spaces right. They allow the openness of relationship, right? So just because you, when you give it a man that's on a spiritual journey, you don't really know he said a journey, he did not say I've arrived and it's just me and you.
Speaker 2:Can you do me? It's multipleoli. You don't want that. I'm going to play. I'm going to play. I'm going to play. When you know what she's saying, you're like oh my.
Speaker 1:God. He's been destroying my life.
Speaker 2:He's going to destroy my life.
Speaker 1:I ain't made my mind. I ain't made my mind. Oh my God.
Speaker 2:You know, you've got a long way to go.
Speaker 1:You're going to play I don't even know that one Because they're playing with you too and awakening it.
Speaker 2:You can go play. It's not what you're doing in life. That's it, that's it, that's it, that's it, that's it, that's it, that's it, that's it, that's it. I was so blind. I was so blind. You think y'all going to have a reunion? Oh wow, I hate the prospect of a reunion. As far as that answer yes, I do. I believe that we will, but when I tell you, it's been hard.
Speaker 1:It's been so hard, it's been so hard.
Speaker 2:I told you, I just want to see if I can lie. You ended up naked. You ended up so naked.
Speaker 1:You ended up so naked, I was so naked and it was so painful. But I tell people all the time I will do it again. Because the growth is so suspicious, Because the growth is crazy. That person that comes in like that's so uncomfortable, that cheats on you that.
Speaker 2:Have you a dose. You're my ally. You're my ally. Do the brokenness of it.
Speaker 1:It's so you can have that breakthrough, so you can grow to your soul, and that's why I've learned from being such a habitual cheater. Now I'm open. Hey, listen, I talk to you, I talk to you, I talk to you. You can do it as you please, but I'm still going to do me. So you just basically, are casual dating, then what?
Speaker 2:I'm just basically what that is. She said she don't want no titles. I don't want any titles. Why do I have?
Speaker 1:to have a title.
Speaker 2:What is that?
Speaker 1:for yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't be getting treated on with that. Okay, never mind, see, I don't want to be on that You're right, I'm just saying.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying I might be, if you're not wrong because the companionship again.
Speaker 1:you can have a certain bond with a person and you know they have. They still miss what they made mom every night and go to the girl's house. Okay, I said part Baby do you.
Speaker 2:You don't know what that man doing when he not wearing it? Okay, because you don't know how many times a man is in women in boxes dating him? Yeah, and you know you think oh my man, he will never cheat, he will never do that.
Speaker 1:She's. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. I'm not even saying that. I'm not even saying that. I'm not even saying that.
Speaker 2:They said, they told you right now I got a question about this how often is it that a man is actually with a woman?
Speaker 1:that he wants to date. I mean, I'm not even sure. I'm not even sure, I'm not even sure. How often is it that a man is actually with a woman that he wanted? We don't never discuss that. Look how fine you are. Tell me how many dumb NPCs you admit. When I say NPC as in Conversation, empty dry has no meaning to. Oh yeah, I could.
Speaker 2:The shit, I'm really good, but they are what you doing. I'm like.
Speaker 1:I don't give a damn what you driving. What Conversation I cannot do the small talking, man don't really have nothing.
Speaker 2:I'm starting to pay attention to the empty spaces and you have to go deeper. You gotta go past the look yeah.
Speaker 1:How does our ego play into what we will accept from a man? Because a lot of times you dealing with this man Person I Know woman if she treats right, you, you. It seemed like you're really forgiving he is.
Speaker 2:I believe that he is very forgiving but do you forgive, like Okay? So what is this woman really doing? You know that. Can I forgive her for this, based off what she's doing? If she's doing More than what she did, Okay then. I can forget. Yeah, you know, we're moving solid yeah yeah are you cheating on me?
Speaker 1:So, yeah, you so fooling. So then, basically, what you're saying is that yeah, we have what we have relationships like she said yeah. The honesty of it. What do we do like, how much work do we put in truly in a relationship to prevent the man or the woman from looking on the outside? That's part of my question to me talking. What you know, if they want to cheat, you can go. Status, or because of what?
Speaker 2:Y'all together.
Speaker 1:If they want to cheat, they're gonna cheat. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:But are you?
Speaker 1:helping him not go, look somewhere else in his. He helping her doc go look. Together right. Do you believe? Do you believe in him as a man? Does he feel fulfilled in a relationship? I'm not gonna say they always don't, because sometimes they can and then they decide you know what? He's not. Listen this all.
Speaker 2:Go out instead of them saying I don't want to be together. This relationship ain't going to where it's not working out.
Speaker 1:They'll just go step out and cheat.
Speaker 2:I've had a situation where he told me no, you know what.
Speaker 1:That's on you at the damn Don't know me. I got them doing what is it? Oh, but you could have broken me up. I did. Oh, he wouldn't leave.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, I wouldn't, I wouldn't consider like, I just feel like, like, even though you in a union in wet night like it's certain things I gotta be kept private, oh.
Speaker 1:Say that again. Women don't keep that. Enough girl. I don't have you said that cuz. Now we go. Now I go to a Tony you a dollar. And now you can't come to Thanksgiving cuz she don't look at you, a certain way and now Spirit see you for what she is, and now you can't come to this.
Speaker 1:But I'm still with you I chose not to leave you, so I'm glad you said that a lot of stuff with relationship fails because when they go like to tell a man with a friend that probably the friends are weighing in and putting other stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, trust me, I've been there, done that and I like to be mama's boys and be a mama.
Speaker 1:Nipple to your 47 Some, not all, I will never say.
Speaker 2:But for sure but but.
Speaker 1:But as far as the counseling though, because I didn't been around, somebody that was in counseling is still she. He cheated after he left counseling. That's me, that's that's a whole the answer that question, though I don't believe that a person has to be truly ready to change again. Yes, you know, to be with a person and not cheat in their head. Like I said when I went through that experience, because I saw the hurt on that person's face, it may be not cheat ever again in my life.
Speaker 1:So, okay, I don't know the question Person out that's cheated. It depends on your counselor, depends on your relationship with your counselor.
Speaker 2:It depends on where you are. Your life depends on your beliefs and how you are related to each other in a relationship.
Speaker 1:It depends on what the future plan is, because if I don't have a plan for your last ten years from now, money yeah, because the thing is and I want to do it but ball naked. And when I say, but my neck. I don't want to do it separately, I want to together and I want you to be honest, completely honest, because we want to Wait for good ten years of each other live and I could be sitting on somebody else's face.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean like you're saying, if you're not trying to grow in back, and yeah, keep that loyalty to me and be committed to me, and let me be committed to you because I can give you the best to me when it's Only you and it's only me. But what was so nice are getting them thoughts in my head like again.
Speaker 1:He's sharing what we share with other. My, you know this is like y'all, so I can't say counseling is the right thing. I think doing the work yourself, understanding who you are and where you are, and being honest about that with yourself, even if you're not being honest with others, you know you don't owe me nothing, right? Be honest with yourself. Get your ass up out of here if you're not ready for this, because I'm giving you a thousand. You give me a thousand, I'll get it.
Speaker 1:They're really cheap. I'm out of her. Get the hell out.
Speaker 2:Therapy.
Speaker 1:And again, I feel like that was a very good point. It depends on the counselor the way Again. And if that person even wants to change, because narcissists will sit there, go to counseling and cheat Cheating, you right. Just soon as they go cry back to the counselor next week and try to fuck them like.
Speaker 2:That's for real and that's real.
Speaker 1:Behavior is something very big in relationship, because it is or not, they're not. They're not giving a thousand, even to themselves. Yeah, I'm trying to do a relationship. Yeah, they're not fulfilling something in themselves and that's why they need to talk to two different people and make sure that everything is good on each of those. You know Situations because they found something in every person. Yes, seven, one thing from each of y'all. It's actually this over here no, frankenstein, me down.
Speaker 1:You know, let me build a nigga real quick. I don't need a bear, I need a nigga. Let me do a nigga, but you can't do that. But I feel like in a sense I can with how I approach you until you know beginning listen.
Speaker 1:I am open, is this not a one-person thing? So right, it's just is what it is, and you're choosing to either deal with it or not. I'm giving you that choice. I feel like honesty is not a big thing anymore. People be like oh, I want to be with you. I want to be with you remember, they do in a sense, but they're not quite ready in the case. Say that to you because they don't want to let you go and see you happy with somebody.
Speaker 2:Now some people sell, some people will, some is.
Speaker 1:Will tell you up front because I have had guys that I baited, like I'm just gonna be honest with you up front. I'm not looking for a relationship, you know. I'm just looking for a companionship or friendship. I want to go hang out and, you know, maybe hop around here and there and then you got some people that, okay, they play you, yeah they, you know. They can let their play is it oh?
Speaker 1:I was like you have to be carefully, smart and just really, you know, look deep within their soul. Yeah, everybody for the shit. Some ways like, yeah, they want to be with a certain version of you and. You really are, he really is. We want the version of you that makes me feel good that part right and when I don't feel good, no more. You a horrible fucking person. You know I was supposed to build a mone shit, exactly. You know. I'm saying to be honest. It might look forgiven. They don't fuck around you, just.
Speaker 1:Well, everybody's fucking around Gorgeous, I'm fucking around, I'm fucking around, I'm fucking around, I'm fucking around For me. I guess I feel like, do I feel like canceling can help remand it? I can say yeah, then I can say no. It just really depends on the individual if they're willing and wanting to change Again.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I do feel like canceling can help, because some people have probably wanted to cancel and probably never have a chance again. You know you got something to go on. Like you say, as soon as they leave they ready to go.
Speaker 2:Mess with a little mistress Get it in there Society or whatever you want to call it Ba ba ba Exactly. What about?
Speaker 1:when the mistress. So you know how you you humping them on a regular ba ba, ba ba. It's amazing. You have your amazing days right and then you know, sometimes you have your off days where it's like oh just get real normal. Yeah, and those moments.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna be going missing something else.
Speaker 1:Those are the moments that you fall back on your connection right, and we don't do that often because we build it on. This all is sexual tension. And then when it should get normal, because we getting it all the time right. We can't sit here and laugh until we cry today. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:You can't just rub my feet, but we're not in a relationship and I'm the idiot why we can't go look at something else.
Speaker 1:I'm not in a relationship with Mary G.
Speaker 2:We can go to a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a a a deep connection in the way we do that is, we build a loyalty for whatever that is. Whatever it is, I'm going to be with a friend, but I'm gonna sit.
Speaker 1:Loyalty doesn't mean I ain't gonna fuck nobody else.
Speaker 2:Loyalty means you know me. Loyalty means you accept me as for who I am. Yeah, you're so sad. That's unconditional love. Yeah, that's sad.
Speaker 1:I need to build on that we need to build on that right For the days. That should be normal and maybe we'll stop all this.
Speaker 2:Oh, I gotta go find somebody else, and that's what I want to start, that's the unconditional love.
Speaker 1:I think I want to put that, along with friendship, in the very beginning. But if you don't love yourself and fully love yourself you feel you're gonna love somebody else.
Speaker 2:You can't. You ain't Because you want them to fill your cup. You want them to fill your cup. You feel. You feel you're looking for people to fill your cup. Exactly, we look like that.
Speaker 1:That is so true and I learned that going into my journey like I had to love me first. How do you deal with? Because we're so emotional, we have all these levels right Like a love you as a man like y'all. How do y'all deal with this? Is that a game Warzone? That's why they be murdering mother fucker. You're so simple. Just to give a later to women's, because we have most of them here.
Speaker 2:How do you deal with all the?
Speaker 1:personalities.
Speaker 2:That's what it is. I just try to keep it positive. You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1:I try not to show.
Speaker 2:I try not to show emotion. You know like say, if my moment do get an attitude, I just try to like play it off, but I still, you know, like what's going on. They like what's going on. You know, I just try to be like playful. Yeah, you did go. I'm saying I ain't gonna match that that fire with fire.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, and they gonna do me you smile. Most men do that. Most men do that.
Speaker 2:I'm not proud for this to me, to my woman. You did what I'm saying, so it's just like oh he said to make this one.
Speaker 1:Oh, come on, hold on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Generally, I'm a person.
Speaker 2:I'm a person I like to laugh, I like to joke, I like to be silly. So you know, if my woman coming with that fire, I know it ain't me because I'm doing it for her.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm gonna do some shit that is going on with her and her personal world. So it's just like all right, but I'll be your stretch ball, we're gonna talk about it. Oh, you know, and but you're gonna apologize to me at the end. You know what she did? Get your shit out on me. We're gonna talk about it. Make sure you good. Okay, I'm expecting apology, though. Okay, you shouldn't have talked to me that way. She should apologize up front, she should take accountability. Yeah, she would just hey, that's real.
Speaker 1:I did not know how to take accountability from her and like that is three years.
Speaker 2:That's so important I've been taking it with stride and it's just a way off your own personal right. It is.
Speaker 1:Now you can refill your own cup. It is holding yourself accountable for the decisions that you have made.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, you're about out.
Speaker 1:If I was really sorry, I would have never done it. And I can say that again If I was really sorry, I would have never done it, whether it's cheating, whether it's doing you wrong, saying something wrong. That's why I tell people I say something once I can say it again right, okay, so I find that you become a haha present. And try to protect yourself. I don't want to beвал, by the way.
Speaker 2:It's coming out soon now, every once in a lifetime, fully love yourself.
Speaker 1:then you won't be looking for other people to feel those voice within you. Be authentic with yourself right. Whoever you are accepted and allow yourself to be in that space fully and comfortably. Yep, do voodoo, it's great.
Speaker 2:And I'm not saying do voodoo on the person, but I think my journey.
Speaker 1:baby, I be so busy with spirit and and and murty and business that they're bringing me like I don't have time for all. That extra companionship again is why I choose what I choose, cause baby, spirit gonna keep you busy and they gonna make sure you on your best sheet, and so that's why I? Say do what you do. For me, that's do follow your journey, follow your true journey. You need to figure out that, cause it's awesome.
Speaker 1:Okay, now what I'm going to say to back up is do some voodoo or, you know, imagine this song If you want to keep them from cheating.
Speaker 2:no, no, no, don't, don't go to them.
Speaker 1:I'm being funny, but seriously, if you can come to me and you know I can you know what that? Being said, I would say just learn how to communicate, communicate, communicate, and hopefully things will work out. And if not, then just walk away. Instead of cheating, walk away, let them go. Don't have your cake in you to walk away.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah so with this.
Speaker 1:All being said, thank you all for joining us. As always, like, share, subscribe and until the next episode, bye. Why I feel a piece of my hair falling out of the bag, a piece of my life. This is my. After I finish, that's what I need a piece of food Now. The next one is dealing with it.