Sober Living Stories
Welcome to the "Sober Living Stories" podcast, a platform built on the power of personal stories. Each Tuesday, Jessica Stipanovic, your host, shines a spotlight on individuals who have undergone remarkable life transformations to inspire hope in listeners worldwide.
Each guest shares their story, giving examples of bold beginnings disguised as endings and life lessons that teach how dark moments often hold the key to unlocking the brightest light.
This podcast inspires positive life changes. Whether you're sober curious, living an alcohol-free lifestyle, have overcome a challenge and lived to tell about it, or support someone who wants to shed a habit in light of a new one, our episodes promise to leave you feeling understood, hopeful, and motivated to create meaningful transformations in your life.
Join us for powerful new episodes every Tuesday, where the most difficult life experiences serve to uplift and inspire. Regardless of your background or belief system, the "Sober Living Stories" podcast is your ultimate destination for uplifting narratives where hope shines from the most unexpected places.
In addition to featuring our weekly guests, each month on the "Sober Living Stories" podcast, we have the privilege of sitting down with a new author, delving into their story and the wisdom they've shared in their book.
Here's the exciting part: their book becomes the giveaway for that month.
Tune in every Tuesday for brand-new episodes and your chance to win the gift of a transformed life.
Sober Living Stories
God Wrecked My Life (In The Best Possible Way)
What happens when liquid courage becomes spiritual bondage? Crystal Cuellar's story illuminates the unexpected path from social drinking to spiritual awakening, revealing how faith became the foundation for her alcohol-free life.
Crystal's journey begins at fifteen with that first warm shot of vodka—the moment she discovered alcohol could transform her from the shy girl into someone more outgoing. What started as occasional social drinking evolved into a decade-long pattern of binge drinking that felt completely normal because everyone in her circle lived the same way. Despite not drinking daily, Crystal found herself caught in a cycle—taking periodic breaks, attempting moderation, and investing enormous mental energy to keep alcohol in her life while experiencing mounting consequences: a DWI, increasing anxiety, depression, and the persistent feeling that she wasn't living up to her God-given potential.
The turning point didn't arrive as a dramatic rock bottom but as a quiet revelation while sitting alone in her apartment after yet another night of binge drinking. "If I don't stop drinking now, I am going to become an everyday drinker," she realized. This clarity became her line in the sand. Rather than focusing solely on what she was giving up, Crystal shifted her perspective to what she could gain—redirecting her energy toward working out, coaching others, and serving people. She surrounded herself with accountability through her church community, hired a sober coach, and began working with a Christian therapist.
Today, Crystal mentors Christian women who recognize alcohol is hindering them from fulfilling their purpose but haven't necessarily hit catastrophic rock bottom. Through her 12-week mentorship program, she helps women build a foundation for alcohol-free living by navigating emotions and triggers, shifting perspectives, and seeing themselves as new creations rather than defined by past behaviors. Her approach combines practical strategies with faith-based principles that empower women to break free from the identity and limitations alcohol has placed on them.
Ready to transform your relationship with alcohol and discover your true potential? anchorandelevate.podia.com to connect with her and begin your journey toward purpose-driven, alcohol-free living.
Sober Living Stories Podcast Host Jessica Stipanovic is a writer, podcast host, and founder of the Female Entrepreneur Organization. Join here:(1) Female Entrepreneur Organization | Facebook
Grab your gift for listening today! 👇
Click Here: https://www.jessicastipanovic.com/the-7-day-happiness-challenge
A FREE 7-Day Happiness Challenge | a mini workbook filled with 7 pages of positive habits to help you create the best version of YOU.
Connect with Jessica Stipanovic during the week here: Facebook
Sign up for weekly episodes straight to your inbox: Jessica Stipanovic
Connect with me: https://linktr.ee/jessicastipanovic
Your story matters.
Welcome to another episode of the Sober Living Stories podcast. Meet Crystal Cuellar. Today we're going to learn how she arrived at the decision to live a faith-based life without alcohol. We'll discuss her turning point, challenges and, most importantly, her solutions to how to break free. Stay until the end to learn how she supports Christian women in embracing an alcohol-free lifestyle to unlock their true potential. Welcome, Crystal, Welcome to the show.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I'm excited to get into this. You're going to be talking about your experience, so just take us as far back as you can remember or would like to share and just take us through your story and about how you made a change.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely so. Um, I will start, I will go back to the beginning, because when I first, um, well, let me just say this so, when it comes to my drinking habits, I was more so the binge drinker, so I was never physically addicted to alcohol or drinking every single day, but I will say I did get pretty close to that and so I think that's important and so just anybody that's listening um, sometimes we feel like we have to hit rock bottom in order to make, in order to make a change, and, of course, I hit my own rock bottom, but, um, I feel like that was important to share, kind of like my habits and, sure, absolutely Like for me. Uh, so I'll go back to when I had my first drink. So I actually had my first drink when I was 15 and I was always just the shy girl. Right, I had, I had plenty of friends, things like that but I was always just the shy girl.
Speaker 2:And so I remember the first time that alcohol was offered to me it was, I remember it was vodka and I was like, okay, you know, I'll take a shot. And I remember, as soon as I took that shot, I felt just like this, this warm feeling and I had like this liquid courage Right, just like this, this warm feeling, and I have like this liquid courage Right, and so I really feel that's where, for me, it's kind of started, where I was like, okay, I can use this to help me quote unquote be more like myself or be more outgoing, so basically a social lubricant, and so, you know, I didn't really drink really heavily at that point, but that's kind of where it started, where I really got introduced to alcohol and so, um, really, the binge drinking started more so after I graduated and, of course, you know all the people around me that I had in my circle, they drink the exact same way. So, you know, we were partying on the weekends, binge drinking, um, you know, just living the party scene, and so I just thought that that was normal. I thought, you know, everybody was doing it. And, um, I feel like, you know, maybe a lot of people can relate to where it's like you know you're living this lifestyle like as you're growing up, and it's like those habits can start to trickle into your adulthood, which is exactly what happened with me, and so, uh, instead of really quote unquote growing out of it, it really just stuck with me, um, for a while, and I was stuck in the binge drinking cycle for gosh, probably over 10 years and, um, and again, like you know, I felt like that was a normal thing. I thought everybody did it, cause that was a circle that I was surrounded with, right, right, yeah, and so, uh, I really started to then experience, just, you know, the negative repercussions of, you know, of binge drinking, and I got my first DWI.
Speaker 2:I started to really experience, um, just some negative effects when it came to my mental health, um, really just experiencing the anxiety, the anxiety, um, I started to experience, um, some depression, uh, things like that, and it would only really happen when I would drink, or, you know, the day after, where you feel that remorse, and for me it really started to build up to, okay, I'm not living up to my potential. I know that, you know, god has put, you know, you know, a certain goal or dream in my heart and alcohol is hindering that, right. And so I had, you know, these thoughts as I was kind of going through my journey and, you know, throughout my journey, I would take different. I would take breaks from alcohol, right, I would maybe take a month off, or I maybe say, okay, I'm going to go this weekend without drinking, or I would find myself trying to moderate alcohol. So I would be like, okay, instead of drinking liquor tonight, maybe I'll drink wine or maybe I'll have a beer, right? So it was this constant game that I was playing with myself just to keep alcohol in my life. So a lot of time, a lot of energy trying to keep this substance in my life.
Speaker 2:And so really, where my, I guess, where there was a pivotal moment and really where I started to realize that, you know, alcohol really was a very toxic thing and really was something that I was in bondage with, essentially and I remember it was during a time where I had taken a break from alcohol and I met, you know, my now ex-boyfriend. I was with him for about 10 years, but I had taken a break and met him, started drinking again, and during this relationship like I said, I was in this relationship for about 10 years and this is really where I experienced the most toxicity I've had in relationships and also when it came to my drinking. This is really where my drinking really started to progress and where, for the first time, I realized, okay, crystal, you're using alcohol to cope, like it's not just a social lubricant anymore, like cause. I was the only tool I had in my tool belt, so it was like, okay, what do I go to when I'm, when I'm mad, when I'm sad, when I'm happy, when I want to escape? And for you know, in this relationship he, um, I realized that he was struggling with addiction. And so as our relationship progressed, so did his addiction, and so did you know, my struggle with alcohol, which you know obviously.
Speaker 2:You know there is some, you know, addictive behavior when it comes to, you know how my habits looked around alcohol. And so, you know, I did that for about 10 years, kind of back and forth, trying to stay sober. He was trying to stay sober and, of course, like, as you can imagine, you know, living with somebody and being with somebody that is struggling with addiction, you know there's a lot of, there's a lot of trauma, there's a lot of manipulation. For me it was a lot of mental, emotional and sometimes even physical abuse, and so I would go to alcohol to cope. And so, in the midst of all of this, I'd already believed in God. I'd already been a believer, but I never really knew what it meant to have a relationship with Christ.
Speaker 2:And so, in the midst of this, just feeling really low and kind of just at a really low place mentally, I was, I was searching, I didn't know I was searching for Jesus, but that's. You know, I don't even want to say I found Jesus. I feel like he found me. But I ended up, you know, finding a church and you know I always say I feel like the Lord just wrecked my life in the best way possible because I started going to this church. They really showed me the love of Christ. They showed me, you know, they didn't judge me when I came in, like you know, obviously I started to be more transparent and share the struggles that I was having with alcohol in the relationship. And you know it wasn't something where it was like, oh my gosh, you're a Christian, so you know you better stop drinking or else you know it wasn't like that. So they really showed me the love of Christ, they really showed me unconditional love and you know I started reading the Bible.
Speaker 2:I started to, you know, just have my own relationship with Christ, which was so different from what I learned, or at least, I will say, the perspective that I had growing up, cause I thought that God was just like this dictator and like I had to be perfect in order to come to him and that's just, that's just not what it is, you know. And so I learned that very quickly. And you know, going through my relationship with Christ and getting back into church and reading, you know, reading the word of God, that's really when I started to have just a heavier conviction on my heart to let go of alcohol and also to let go of this relationship. And so I would say, you know, when I first started, you know, walking with Christ and going to church and all that, it probably took me about two more years to actually, you know, really start making those changes. One because I'm stubborn and two cause it was, you know it's, it's scary, it's. You know, I feel like so often we're like, oh yeah, I want the promised land right, or I want to be free and I want this and that. But we also know like there's a process we have to go through. And so I was essentially what I realized now looking back really afraid of the unknown Cause.
Speaker 2:I knew how to navigate toxicity in the relationship. I knew how to navigate hangovers, even though you know they didn't feel good. It was something I just I knew, right, I didn't know what it meant to be sober, what it meant to live alcohol free, what it meant to be out of this relationship. And you know, there were so many different factors, of course, too, where it's like codependency, and I had this emotional and you know attachment to alcohol, and you know all these different things. And so, you know, about two years after that, I finally left the relationship and I remember thinking I was like, okay, I'm leaving the relationship. You know, I'm going to surely be able to stop drinking now, because you know he's the main problem, right? And even though he was a part of the problem, uh, I had to take accountability and responsibility for, you know, for my life, my actions.
Speaker 2:And so when I left the relationship, um, really, my drinking progressed even more. And that was probably like another pivotal moment where I realized, okay, I know that I've been using alcohol to cope, but now I realize how much of an attachment that I had with alcohol and how much I did not know how to navigate life without alcohol. I didn't know how to navigate my emotions, my triggers. I had found so much of my identity. It was with alcohol and also in who I was in that relationship. Right, because, again, I was in that relationship for 10 years. I've been drinking for over 10 years like that and so I really felt like letting go of those two things to, or even just the thought of it. I felt like I was losing a limb, like that's literally.
Speaker 2:And so I started drinking even more, and it was probably for about, I would say, like about a few weeks after I left the relationship. And I remember there was one night I went out drinking, binge drinking, woke up the next morning with the anxiety, with the depression, you know, with feeling like I just knew I was living under my potential. And I remember just, I sat on my apartment floor and I was out the window and for the first time in my life, I felt like I was losing control when it came to alcohol, which if there was, you know, a hidden camera of my life, you'd probably be like Crystal, didn't you see all the other signs? But this was literally the first time.
Speaker 2:I just had this thought where it was like, okay, if I don't stop drinking now, I am going to become an everyday drinker. And you know, probably because I had already dabbled to and like other drugs in the past and so forth, so I knew it was only going to progress because it was already getting really bad. Where you know, again, I wasn't an everyday drinker yet, but it was the days that I was actually sober, became less and less, where I could only go like three or four days without drinking, and it wasn't even because of the physical need, but it was just because I didn't know how to navigate those feelings right. It's like even when I was in hangover, I was still kind of numb in a way, right, I still wasn't fully like here and present. And once that left, I was like, okay, I want to go drink again. And so that was a really pivotal moment for me where I realized, okay, I need to stop now. And that's really essentially why I drew a line in the sand. And you know like I shared my.
Speaker 2:My church at that time was, you know, really small church and they, they knew what was going on. I reached out to them and I was like, hey, I need? I just I need help. You know I need accountability, and so they helped me stay accountable. I also hired a sober coach for a short amount of time and then I hired a Christian therapist because I was like, clearly what I am doing is not working. So I was like let's just cover all of my bases and, um, and let's just do this Right. And so from that point on I really just uh, went all in and living an alcohol-free lifestyle. I went all in and um you really just following Christ and getting into community, and um, yeah, just started to learn how to really again like navigate those emotions, navigate those triggers. And I mean essentially what I did was create a whole new lifestyle right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, and I know, for me, what really helped me too was, um, just shifting my mindset around it too. I think so often when we think of not drinking, or even just stopping, you know, a bad habit in general, it's like, okay, I have to stop doing this. And so my mindset was like, okay, I need to count the days I need to, you know, not drink. And I really had to shift my mindset to, okay, well, what can I focus on instead of going to alcohol? Right, I love working out, I love doing this. I was already a coach at that time, but in health and wellness and so I was like, okay, I can focus on my coaching and serving people. And so for me, that was a really, a really great perspective shift, instead of being in almost like a lack mindset of, like what, I'm taking this thing away from me? Right, this substance, opposed to looking at, okay, what am I actually gaining from, you know, letting go of this? That's actually toxic.
Speaker 2:And so, fast forward to. You know where I'm at now, like the Lord has really just led me to helping women like me, you know, live an alcohol free lifestyle and essentially step into their purpose. Because I know for me. This was what I what I see looking back now, is really just, has really just been preparation for my purpose, right, like um, just really stripping away the, the counterfeit identities, just really stripping away just what was never really meant for me, and that was really heavy, and now I'm able to, you know, walk women through this journey and showing them the foundations of living an alcohol free lifestyle.
Speaker 2:Um, but, obviously, my coaching, we do it through, you know, a faith-based lens and um, and like I shared, just not looking at it through, like, okay, let's just count the days or let's just focus on your labels, like, really focus on, okay, what kind of life do you want to create? What's those dreams that you have on your heart? And let's start learning how to do that with healthier habits, with learning how to navigate life in a healthier way, and, um, and also serving right, All of us here, I feel like, are meant to serve and we have gifts and we have talents that the Lord has, you know. You know put in um, you know and put it in us, and um, yeah, I truly believe that that's. Um, yeah, that's what the Lord has put me on this earth for, and so it's been super life-giving and um, yeah, that's my story in a nutshell, kind of where I'm at.
Speaker 1:Yes, Well, you've touched on so much, so let's like go back and and look at a couple of things that are important. I think for listeners is the very first thing you talked about. You know your rock bottom and I think, um, that people sometimes may get caught up like, well, I'm not that bad yet, but, um, actually, you know we're allowed to get off whenever we're done like it. We don't have to be on the very last, last rung of the ladder to say this is not something I need or want in my life anymore. So you can be a highly functioning person who is drinking alcohol habitually and going to work every day, but you know your life is staying still and you can get off then. So I think that was really important to is staying still and you can get off then. So I think that was really important to bring up is that you can stop wherever you are if you notice that it's having a negative impact.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely. And I think you know that was definitely, I want to say, a lie that I was believing. You know that I had to. It was almost like I would tell myself okay, well, it's not that bad, yet it's that bad, then I'll make a change, right. And, like you said, it's like we can. We can make a change anytime we want, right. And I feel like a lot of the times we just believe this lie that we have to be in this horrible place or that it has to just be a certain way in order for us to make change. But really it could just be something as simple. As you know what, like I'm feeling this tugging on my heart that I can do better and I want to be better. Why not start now, right?
Speaker 1:I mean and you talked about you know um, it was like losing a limb or that's what you went to for 10 plus years.
Speaker 1:So fear of change is is so is so big.
Speaker 1:But if we can almost shift that around and be like, wow, if there's something we're really fearful of which, putting down drinking after you've been doing it for a long time is is a really scary place to be in, cause like, what are you going to?
Speaker 1:What are you going to do instead? How are you going to face the world without this one crutch that we think is helping so much and, in turn, it's really hurting us. So it's once again that denial and lie that you're telling yourself or that we tell ourselves. And so if anybody's coming up against a fear, it's almost like a green light to be like, hey, this is probably where you should be walking through, because once through that fear, you're going to get some real freedom. And the changes that we have to make may seem so huge in the beginning, but you know, step-by-step and I think that you had talked about having a coach and it's something that you do uh, which is helping women and community is so important in making those changes together because it becomes. It becomes easier and becomes more fun instead of so, like you know, just like life changing and sitting in your room like how am I going to get out there?
Speaker 1:Well, you have people that walk you through hand in hand, you know which is really important.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2:And you know, and I do feel like just going through this work and obviously working with my clients, like a lot of this work, while it is, you know, very practical, and you know it's the life skills and all of that it's really important that we, you know, really reflect on the lens that we are looking through, right, even just as we were talking about how the fear of the unknown and fear of what it's going to look like being sober, and how, you know, our brain can play tricks on us, right, and one thing that I really like to share with my clients is looking at, like, how you're actually seeing freedom.
Speaker 2:And if that actually is true, right Cause, in our brains, when we're stuck in that cycle, it's like, okay, alcohol is freedom, right, Alcohol is giving me this relief of anxiety, or relief of maybe you know depression for a little bit, or you know that escape, like I was. You know depression for a little bit, or you know that escape, like I was, you know, using it for. But really, if we take a step back and allow ourselves just to take a few minutes, it's like is that actually freedom? And do you want that to be your freedom? Because essentially it's not right because you have that. It's almost like I just get a vision of just like a chain right.
Speaker 2:So you have so much freedom and it's like, once you break that bondage and actually look through the, through the correct lens of freedom, I feel like even just that perspective shifts can make.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's so yeah, that's so important because you can really apply that to anything that you're using to like decompress, whether it's like, oh, I'm just going to have the you know if you're scrolling or if you're watching YouTube on repeat every night, or you know, like it's something that you think is just giving you the freedom to relax or whatever, but really it's something you becomes habitual and it doesn't really have any you know, main benefit or that makes our lives go forward. So it's so good to sometimes take, take a look at, like what we're going to that we think is good for us, or is that benefiting, relaxing us or making us feel less depressed or sad, or it's bringing us up and is it really, you know? And to maybe shift that. And I think when you're in community with people that are honest, they can say maybe not so much. You know, maybe we could be doing this instead, and to help us come up with those solutions.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's what really helped me too. Like I mentioned, community and coaching and all that because I needed that. You know, other perspective Cause again, we can get so stuck we're we're, our brains are conditioned to think a certain way about freedom, about alcohol, and so if we can have that help in just shifting it, it can be so pivotal. What we think about in our brains, it comes out in the physical and in our actions and in our routines and behavior.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and when you spoke earlier on binge drinking, I think that a lot of people come in on different levels, right, so some can be blackout drinkers or binge drinkers or really have a severe problem with alcoholism, or they're just wanting to live an alcohol-free lifestyle. They're curious about what is that going to look like. If I put this down, I feel like it's starting to become a problem, you know? Um, so you talked about labels and such and you chose not to put a label on yourself. Some people may say, yes, I'm an alcoholic, I want to go through these recovery and use that, but from your decision and I've heard people say this before you focus more on the positive solution of the ideal of what you want to be as opposed to what you were. So can you talk about that a little bit and the benefits?
Speaker 2:Yeah, definitely. I mean, again, I think it goes back to that perspective shift and really what comes to mind is just and I'm going to go to the you know the word of God, where it says that we are a new creation, and that's really what helped me is just reminding myself okay, I am a new creation, so I can operate as such. Right, yes, I have a past. Yes, I've done X, Y, Z and you know, and maybe even if I, you know, did consider myself an alcoholic, okay, awesome, but that doesn't mean that's the identity that I have to carry on for the rest of my life. Right, I can still do the maintenance, I can still do what it takes to live this fruitful, you know life, live this alcohol free lifestyle.
Speaker 2:But I think it's really important and what I've seen that's been so pivotal, even for my clients, is really just breaking that identity, because that's not who anybody really is.
Speaker 2:Right, we're more than our habits, we're more than the labels that we put on ourselves. And even if you do resonate with being an alcoholic or whatever that may be, that's totally fine, because everybody is so different and whatever helps you move forward or helps you, you know, cause sometimes it is helpful for people to put a label on. It's kind of like when we go to the doctor it's like, okay, I have this thing that's going on, we have a label for it, then we can find a solution for it, Right. So that's totally fine. But I do think there has to be a separation at some capacity so that we can fully step into this new life, step into this new creation that God has, you know, created us to be, and I feel like that also helps us just. I just just remove that heaviness, right. Like I don't think we need to carry everything that we've gone through or the past with us, because there's just such a whole new life, you know, after sobriety, and you know there's just so much more to live for.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and and what was important and I think really great that you said is is you said like he wrecked your life, like you know, sometimes for listeners that think, well, you know, I'm too far gone, or I you know I don't have a relationship with God and I don't know how to pray or I don't know how to do these things to get myself out of this hole.
Speaker 1:It's like I don't think anybody did. And I believe that sometimes we get broken and leveled so that we can look at life from a completely different view, because we have to, because that's where we are, and then we can restore and reconcile and rebuild and, you know, getting around the right people and being open to that change. I think the help comes in. The spiritual help comes in naturally and it's it's quite like mind blowing for a lot of people, like, as you speak about your faith, your face like completely lights up, like it's a full smile, you know, and like I don't think people at the beginning of any, any journey where we look at ourselves and try to make a change, nobody's smiling that much. But it does happen and it comes, you know, and you just have to believe that it's. You're deserving of that too. You know this is for anybody and everybody. You know that rebuild your. You know it's for you too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely, and I love that you touched on that point too, because, yeah, it's not rainbows and butterflies, it's. I mean, you are literally, I just think of like a foundation that's just being wrecked, right, but it's a foundation that was shaky and for me, like, as I see it, as like the Lord, just kind of, you know, he filled in the gaps in my foundation but there is going to require a breaking for a break so we can have that solid foundation and again then build that life from there. But yeah, I mean, I'll be the first to say it was not easy, it was very challenging, and there were, there were many days where I just, you know, wanted to give up, and it wasn't necessarily always going to alcohol at that point, but it was just the emotional things that we just buried down, right, and so that can be tough and I never want that to deter anybody. But I also I love just being real and you know, and that's why it's important, like we've been talking about here, community mentorship, whatever that looks like.
Speaker 2:You know it's just one person that can just get you, you know, that just understands. That's going to be so helpful, because I don't think anybody that's living an alcohol-free lifestyle, sober lifestyle. I've never met anybody that hasn't had help at some capacity. So, yeah, so, so, so, so important.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it reminds me. There was this woman once that I met at the very, very beginning of my journey on my rebuild, and she told me you know, like picture yourself as a house. What do you see? And I was like the steps are cracked, the doors hanging off the hinges, and there is a lot of broken glass. And she said, okay, now picture it this the steps are fixed, All the windows are in place, and now, if you begin today, you get to just decorate each room for the rest of your life, Like the whole thing. She just was picturing and she couldn't like. She said it a lot better, but she was trying to show me, like this is the rebuild and it is incredible, you know, and there is so much for you in store. And I couldn't see it at the time, but I never forgot what she said and I found that to be very true. It's like, you know, we come in as we are, but then we, we decide to make a change and it's completely possible.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Oh gosh, I love that so much. Yeah, so good. Yeah, so we come.
Speaker 1:It's funny that you know, we come across people who say things or come in for a season to speak into our life and help us really make a change. Whether it's a sentence, Is there anyone that said anything to you that you can recall that made you pay attention?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean honestly, for me it really was like a big perspective shift from, you know, my pastor's wife from the church that I had started going to, and I remember one day we were talking about, you know, just, pastor's wife, I'm from the church that I, you know, had started going to, and I remember one day we were talking about, you know just, the struggle with alcohol and I just started my alcohol free journey and you know, I was just, I was just kind of struggling, you know, because I was in the mindset of, like I have to stop drinking, you know. And so she just told me and it's something very simple, but it made the difference for me and she just said, well, what if you know, instead of drinking, what if you just do something else? Right, it's, maybe it's not, you know, just focusing on not drinking or not doing this, like, what can you do now that you're not drinking? Right, and that, and again, so simple, but that made the biggest difference for me. And that's when I started to focus more on life giving things and realized, okay, like one, I do have the choice to drink or not, right, but I get to make that decision.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, maybe, maybe it's like, okay, I can't drink, but but technically I can't, right, and so I think that's something, too, that really helped me, because I think sometimes, when we're struggling with alcohol or whatever substance we have in our brains, oh yeah, I can't, which may be true, but I feel like that also takes the power away from us. So she really encouraged me that I have the power to choose and that making that perspective shift of instead of I can't do this to actually I can do this because I'm not doing that, yeah, and another thing that you had spoke about and you use the word serve a lot, and I know that when stuck in like a cycle, that's negative and not good for us.
Speaker 1:We often are very self-focused and like selfish in a sense, completely because we just can't get out of it. And I know that for me, helping others really got me outside of myself and putting myself in a position of service, as opposed to me always self-seeking and figuring out what I needed to do kind of just changes your perspective on you know your day and in turn you get to follow that out. So have you found that to be true as well?
Speaker 2:Absolutely, and gosh, yeah, it just really helps us shift our focus. And, you know, I think, at the end of the day, we're trying to distract ourselves, especially when, especially when we're in that, you know, season, and that's just such a healthy distraction and it's also very fulfilling, right, because when we, when we drink or when we do these different things, we are trying to, at the end of the day, we're trying to fill a void, right. And so, again, going back to something that's actually life-giving, like serving, it fills our cup up, right, and it's also's also helping others, and I feel like that's something that that we miss sometimes and it's something so simple that we can do that actually can be so fulfilling. And again, like you said, it takes the focus off of, like everything that's quote, unquote, wrong and shifts it to something positive, you know, and again, like and I feel like this all sounds like like it's so simple and but it's gosh, it's so pivotal if you actually put it into action.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and not to minimize, like when you do give up alcohol. I know for myself like it is. It's a difficult time. However, you know it is possible and and it's just in those day-to-days. You know those day-to-day things that you do differently.
Speaker 1:And, um, serving, it's like my brother always has this saying it's like do good, feel good, and so a lot of times we're leveled when we're living in a lifestyle that that doesn't serve us Like.
Speaker 1:So our confidence is leveled, our capability and our feeling that we're able to achieve anything is diminished, like everything's kind of taken away. So when we start to get out there and like serve or do good or try to, you know, shift what we're doing onto others, it kind of feeds us to kind of rebuild ourselves and be like someone's relying on me. I'm going to keep my commitment. I said I promised to do that, so I will do that. So you kind of flip it. You do everything different. You know if you want things done, if you want something different, do things differently. That was a line somebody's told me and I was like wow, okay, cause I was really in a cycle of doing everything the same every day, you know. And then when I wanted to break free and make a change, I had to pointedly do things different in my day, and it gave me different results.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, yeah, again, it's that perspective shift too. It's like, okay, well, am I going to keep doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result, cause that's what everybody says, right, the definition of insanity. Or am I going to switch it up? Sure, different result.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and you know, having like a DUI, it said, and or anything else that happens that's negatively impacts it's not only you know those things in itself.
Speaker 1:You know, making a change to be alcohol free eliminates your the possibility of a life altering consequence. You know this. It's like we're talking simply, but these results or these consequences of living in a way where you're not aware of what you're doing, you're altered, can have life-altering consequences, not only for me but for other people. And that was a large part of why I stopped, because I thought I'm okay at this point being self-destructive toward myself, but I'm going to what if I hurt someone else? You know, like, those are real, harsher realities of drinking and harsher realities of like being a part of living in a way that is, um, you know, detrimental, right To only ourselves but other people and that's eliminated and so we can walk freer and we can know that, hey, you know we're being responsible, we're being a member of society, we're participating in the like, health and wellness of other people, instead of, you know, and just our loved ones. They get us at our full capacity and our availability, instead of just, you know, taking ourselves out of being a part of that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, definitely. It actually reminds me of one of my clients I had, you know, a few years ago, and that was kind of her draw line in the sand moment where she realized that she was really negatively impacting her daughter. And I remember she had messaged me and said that her daughter, but the first time I found, can you not drink tonight? And that was one of her pivotal moments where she was like, okay, I need to make a change. And now she's been alcohol free, you know, for years and she's, you know, starting a coaching business and all of that, and so, yeah, just kind of piggybacking on what you said, it's like, you know, this one decision impacts your family, it impacts those around you and then, essentially, like, everybody has a purpose and a calling, so then it's going to have even a. It's like a ripple effect, right, that we just don't realize, because sometimes we're just kind of in this, in this little box that we put ourselves in, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. And with with children, I think they really watch like, um, so recently, like I had, I was eating like just like poorly, lots of sugar, all this stuff for kind of a long time. We've been really busy and just going out and doing this. And my daughter was eight and she said to me one night I want you to get healthy. And I said, gosh, like what do you mean by that? And she said, because your choices are going to influence use that word, influence mine. And I was like, wow, here I had been wanting to make a change for so long. But hearing it from her, knowing that I was her example, and that was, and I committed to that.
Speaker 1:So May 1st I went sugar-free, dairy-free, and I lost 30 pounds and I just changed it and I started to get the energy, came back, everything. And you know, it's that example we're giving. Like you have to think, gosh, you know what kind of examples are we giving, right, and what a blessing that she was that night. It was like divine intervention through her little voice, like I couldn't hear it from anyone else, but for her I'll change my whole world. So she really prompted me to make a change in myself, like for health, for health wise, and it was just incredible, because sometimes when we give up one habit, you know, here, years down the road I picked up another one, you know, and whether he did it to cope or just because I was stressed, stressed or with work, doesn't matter, it's like I was doing it and like mindlessly, and so we don't have to do that. But sometimes it takes the attention given to us from our loved ones to really make a change, right.
Speaker 2:And kids are so awesome. I love hearing stories like that.
Speaker 1:Yes, Like that's what it took, right, that's what it took. Just one line from my girl and yeah, it's something I've been struggling with for a couple of years. So that's really incredible. And, like that one client you were talking about, you know, um making that change, like what a different home she has. You know her attention is somewhere where it's supposed to be. It's wonderful and not always possible for everyone. So you know, it's really the, the gratitude and, um, you know just being grateful that we were able to turn a corner and, um, you know a lot of people are struggling and they can too, um, and you know, I definitely want people to know that like may not be completely, um easy, but so possible, like the hope is so there because it's, it's available for anyone at any time, you know, to make a change like that. And the help is there the online help, the in-person help. So let's, at this point, if you don't mind, sharing with us, like, what do you do and who do you specifically help and how?
Speaker 2:Yeah, definitely so. The way I help my clients right now, well, so I help women Christian women typically, but I'm also open to helping everybody. Like you don't have to be a Christian in order to come to me, because everything that I teach it's going to be helpful for anybody that's struggling when it comes to the binge drinking cycle. So, but typically it is Christian women that are just in that in-between, where they're not physically addicted to alcohol, but they're kind of in the danger zone. Right. They have that tugging on their heart to stop drinking. They know that they're over drinking, even if it's just once a month, and they want to do better, they want to be better. They have a dream and a purpose on their heart and they want to accomplish that, but they know that alcohol is hindering them in that area. But also when it comes to their relationships, like we kind of talked about with you know example, like my past clients, and so the way that I help women is really just taking them through a 12 week mentorship and I essentially just help them build, build a foundation of living an alcohol free lifestyle. So, like we talked about a lot today, and navigating emotions and triggers and really having perspective shifts and, you know, in between that, just really holding them accountable. So I'm really big on, you know, just being really present with my clients and having a lot of touch points, especially at the beginning, so they have the accountability and life support that they need when they are having those triggers or struggling or whatever that may be. And of course, I do it through a faith-based lens, so it's really paired with faith and then also very practical life skills that I teach them just to really build that foundation.
Speaker 2:I will say most of my clients will work with me probably more than three months. Typically they work with me from six months to a year, sometimes even two years, just because there's so much more to build after that. Right, and so that's essentially how I help women and it's really simple. We have Zoom calls, we get in Telegram and just kind of chat back and forth and it's really a lot of that live coaching and mentorship. I would say if there was like a first step that I would tell anybody is to really would really be to join my free community that I have on Facebook. I have a lot of free content in there just to kind of get started, get a feel of you know how I coach and also just get some free resources, and I'm also very present on on Tik TOK. There's tons of content there as well, so I think that's a really great place to start, and then I know you're going to link my my website as well, if anybody wants to.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'll put actually all of that in the show notes. Um, if anyone wants to reach out to crystal and join her free community, that's a great step. Um, so what are? What name are you under for? Um, face your Facebook community group.
Speaker 2:Um. The Facebook community group is called the kingdom or it's called kingdom Alliance community.
Speaker 1:Okay, kingdom, alliance, community and um, and also Tik TOK. Yes, yes, okay, yeah, okay. And what name is that under?
Speaker 2:That's just under my first and last name.
Speaker 1:Okay, and what name is that under? That's just under my first and last name. Okay, great, do you have any thing you can say to anyone listening that is fearful of making that change? I heard a long time ago that, like spirituality, is the process of removal, not addition. And so we talked about like filling it up with alcohol, filling it up with binging or whatever. And you know, once we remove that, it's scary. It's like it up with alcohol, filling it up with binging or whatever. And you know, once we remove that, it's scary. It's like, wow, now what? You know, how am I going to face the world? What am I going to do to cope? And so what would be like a first step for a first day or second day, when you're just putting it down and you're just deciding to go about your day Like what? What could you tell them?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would say, you know when we're making, uh, what we essentially know is, you know, a life change.
Speaker 2:I think sometimes we look at the, we look at the big picture, right, and we get overwhelmed and have anxiety, and so one thing that I would say that was really helpful for me, that's really helpful for my clients, is really just taking it one step at a time and one day at a time.
Speaker 2:I know we hear that all the time, right, it's like one day at a time, but I really, truly believe that you know, instead of looking at you know, the big picture, thinking, oh my gosh, I'm going to have to stop drinking for the rest of my life, just really taking it just one bite at a time and um, and really just having some sort of accountability and mentorship where you can just really um, just at least have a sounding board right, especially at the beginning, whatever that looks like. You know whether that's you know something at your church or whether it's you know a coach like me, whatever that looks like. But that's what I would say, that I would um, I would say for the beginning, as far as like day one, to have that accountability and to really go in with the mindset of you know what, like, I'm just going to take it one day at a time, just one bite at a time, and let things unfold. You know like build on that foundation.
Speaker 1:Okay, great, lots of insight, great inspiration, and so you're really. You're really focused on helping women who are in that middle of the stage. You know, may not be an everyday drinker, but are looking to just like completely remove alcohol because it's getting in the way in some way and you can walk them through it. So I really appreciate you coming on here sharing what you do, and not only that, but having the courage to share your personal story so that others can come forward and share theirs. So, um it. Yeah, if you want to join her kingdom Alliance community Facebook group, find her on Tik TOK. I'm going to put all that in the show notes below and I thank you so much for coming on the show today.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much.