Lori Stephens on being an Educational Advocate

In this inspiring episode, I connect with Lori Stevens, a passionate educator and advocate for young people, including those with special needs. Lori shares her journey of overcoming obstacles, becoming an 8 to Great Certified Coach, and using M.K. Mueller's principles to drive positive change in her students' lives. Hear how Lori transitioned from a private school director to starting her own impactful business, Powerful Education Solutions, in 2011. Discover how she nurtures executive functioning skills in students with ADHD, autism, and learning disabilities, empowering them and their families. Join us as Lori talks about her dedication to resilience, gratitude, and fostering hope for the future, making a difference one child at a time. Perfect for female entrepreneurs seeking inspiration and practical tips to run their business with heart and purpose.

https://www.loristephensllc.com/
powerfuleducationsolutions.com
https://www.lifeskillsprepcamp.com/
https://www.instagram.com/powerfuleducationsolutions/
https://www.facebook.com/powerfuleducationsolutions  

For information on 8 to Great: https://8togreat.com/
M.K. Mueller’s TED Talk: https://youtu.be/K9OMg6tBGvI?si=8f3zx22RTIdVaLJc 

00:00 Introduction to Lori Stephens and 8 to Great
02:08 Thanksgiving and Family Conversations
07:12 Lori's Journey to Becoming an Education Advocate
10:02 Challenges and Triumphs in Special Education
13:49 The Birth of Powerful Education Solutions
22:32 Energy Management and Family Dynamics
28:04 Understanding Auditory Processing Disorder
28:21 Challenges Faced by Students with Anxiety and ADHD
28:41 Classroom Dynamics and Student Reactions
30:04 Supporting Students with Different Needs
31:44 Impact of COVID-19 on Education
34:32 Life Skills Prep Camp and Emotional Resilience
39:14 Personal Experiences with ADD and Education
43:40 The Importance of Early Childhood Development
53:39 Building a Supportive Community
54:44 Conclusion and Contact Information

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Transcript

Lori Stephens on being an Educational Advocate

[00:00:00] Penny Fitzgerald: I meet a lot of brilliant women at networking events, and Lori Stevens is no exception. We learned we have a connection in common. M. K. Mueller, speaker, educator, and author of Eight to Great, The Powerful Process for Positive Change. I'll include links to her website and TED Talk in the show notes.

[00:00:56] The program is a roadmap for creating success and includes concepts like 95ing, where you strive to feel at least 95 percent of your happiest and best self, because when you feel good, you're in a better position to do great things. Other concepts include seeking forgiveness of the past, gratitude for the present, and hope for the future.

[00:01:17] There's much more, and I highly recommend the book for anyone looking to create positive change in your own life. Lori and I both have been through the 8 to Great Coaching Certification Program, and Lori applies these principles in her career, mentoring and advocating for young people, including those with special needs.

[00:01:35] After listening to her, I think you'll agree that everyone needs someone like Lori in their life. She's doing amazing work to bring hope to kids at a time in their lives when it can make a great impact. And if you're an educator, thank you. Thank you for all you do to make a better future for our kids, and in turn, for all of us. Here is Lori Stevens.

[00:01:56] Hi Penny. Hi Lori. 

[00:01:59] Lori Stephens: How are you? I'm good. How are you? I am well, thank you. I'm well. Great. Good to see you. Good to see you as well, 

[00:02:08] Penny Fitzgerald: And Thanksgiving week too. You want to be healthy this week and see everyone and 

[00:02:14] Lori Stephens: enjoy 

[00:02:14] Penny Fitzgerald: it. 

[00:02:15] Lori Stephens: My mom's coming down from, um, um, she lives up in the panhandle and she's coming down and her immune system is compromised. So I started taking antibiotic last week so that she could make sure that her system could handle being down here and being around all these germs.

[00:02:30] Yeah.

[00:02:33] Yeah, no, 

[00:02:34] Penny Fitzgerald: that's good that she's protecting herself and 

[00:02:36] Lori Stephens: ready. Yeah. Yeah. That way we get to spend time with a mama. 

[00:02:41] Penny Fitzgerald: That's right. That's right. Do you have children at home? 

[00:02:45] Lori Stephens: I know I do not. I am. I am. I have a grandchild who is turning 18 next month. 

[00:02:51] Penny Fitzgerald: No 

[00:02:51] Lori Stephens: way away. I do. I do turning 18. My son is 

[00:02:55] Penny Fitzgerald: 38. 

[00:02:57] Lori Stephens: He just turned 38.

[00:02:58] Yeah. 

[00:02:59] Penny Fitzgerald: Okay. 

[00:02:59] Lori Stephens: Yeah. And he lives locally. I have two brothers. Yeah. So I'm, I'm local. I'm local. Yeah. 

[00:03:06] Penny Fitzgerald: That's nice. Very cool. 

[00:03:08] Lori Stephens: Yeah. 

[00:03:09] Penny Fitzgerald: Well, it's so great to meet you. I'm, um, I'm grateful to get, have a connection with you. And you also are a, an, an eight to great coach, right? I 

[00:03:22] Lori Stephens: am 

[00:03:23] Penny Fitzgerald: super fun. I love MK. Yes. 

[00:03:26] Lori Stephens: Isn't she amazing?

[00:03:27] She's just amazing. 

[00:03:28] Penny Fitzgerald: Oh my gosh. Her Ted talk was just fire. Yes. 

[00:03:32] Lori Stephens: Well, she is just fire. Um, you go through the training and, um, you go through the training and you have faster trainers that train you, but then. on, on the website, when you're a certified trainer, you have access to training videos and, and they're of MK giving the talks to audiences and she is always just on fire.

[00:03:55] She's amazing. I, even though she says basically very similar things in different audiences, I could sit in her audience and listen because in the moment she just has to answer. So I just. I love him. Okay. 

[00:04:09] Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. 

[00:04:10] Lori Stephens: Talk about MK in the interview because, um, she's been pretty big in my life in the last year or so.

[00:04:16] Penny Fitzgerald: Oh, that's great. Yeah. Yeah. Her energy is always positive and supportive and she, she's just always present. Yes. You know, she's always, I haven't asked her yet, but she's, she's been on my list since I started podcasting. Okay. I just have not reached out. 

[00:04:37] Lori Stephens: I will put a bug in her ear and I bet you. 

[00:04:41] Penny Fitzgerald: I will reach out to her too.

[00:04:42] You know, it's just, she's 1 of those dream interviews, you know, and 

[00:04:48] Lori Stephens: I bet you, I don't know for knowing for sure, but I would say yes. 

[00:04:52] Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. Yeah. Well, she's 

[00:04:54] Lori Stephens: that way. Yeah. You know, it's 

[00:04:56] Penny Fitzgerald: been a number of years since we connected and she, um, I, I hired her to do a training for my elite leaders on my team back in the day when I was doing direct sales and she came to my home and presented and it was just fabulous.

[00:05:09] Yes. So yeah. And it's been a while. So I hope she remembers that it was fantastic. My team is still taught well. My team, my former team, there were still friends in there. They still remember it and it was an amazing experience. So yeah, impactful. 

[00:05:25] Lori Stephens: It changed my life. Even what's interesting is, even though I've done a lot of the things in her book and in her program with my own coaching, with my students, it was like, when I read the book and then did the training, it was, Oh my gosh, here's everything that I do already in a package.

[00:05:45] What she talks about is, um, that, what was it, that here's the one, one time after a talk, somebody came up to her and said, you know, you tell us all the ingredients, but you don't give us the recipe. I need a recipe. I need a recipe. And that's where the book came from. 

[00:06:01] Penny Fitzgerald: Okay. 

[00:06:02] Lori Stephens: Yep. So I've got all the ingredients, but her book is the recipe and it's, and it's helping me do better in my business.

[00:06:09] Yeah. So, yeah. 

[00:06:11] Penny Fitzgerald: That's very cool. It's yeah, it does break it down into a very, uh, plan that you can follow 

[00:06:18] Lori Stephens: a manageable. It's a 

[00:06:19] Penny Fitzgerald: process 

[00:06:20] Lori Stephens: and that's how we talk about it when we talk about it. It's an eight step process. Yeah. Yeah. So here's the program. Here's the process that goes with it. So. 

[00:06:28] Penny Fitzgerald: Right. Yeah. Right.

[00:06:29] And for my listeners who may not be familiar, um, we're talking about Eight to Great and this is by M. K. Mueller. She's an amazing author and go find that book. 

[00:06:39] Lori Stephens: Yes. It's on Amazon. Yeah. Go to 8togreat. com, the number 8, t-o, and then great. com and you can purchase it from there. Take care. Um, after you do, please go on Amazon and give it a review because it's, if it's not life changing to you, we need to do a book study.

[00:06:58] Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. It is a very, very good, um, yeah, good book and thought process. So yeah. And so you are using it in your coaching day. Yeah. I use 

[00:07:09] Lori Stephens: it for myself and my students. Yeah. 

[00:07:11] Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah, absolutely. Okay. So tell us a little bit about what you do. 

[00:07:14] Lori Stephens: Okay. So Laurie Stevens from Powerful Education Solutions. Um, growing up, I always knew I was supposed to be a teacher.

[00:07:21] That was just, it was my thing. Uh, instead of being outside playing hide and seek and tag and stuff like that, which was not my gag. And my gag was, I was inside, I had all my stuffed animals and I had them lined up and we were playing school. I had my little whiteboard and I wrote in scribble, which was cursive.

[00:07:39] And of course, um, I always knew in class, which kids needed help. I, I just instinctively knew. Yeah. 

[00:07:46] Penny Fitzgerald: And 

[00:07:46] Lori Stephens: somehow I always managed to finagle myself to sit by them. Um, when I was in high school, I remember. in many classes, knowing the kids that forgot to turn their papers in or forgot pencils. And I would walk past them to turn in a paper.

[00:07:59] I say, Hey, if you give me your paper, I'll go turn it in. So I help them remember to turn their papers. And I just always just kind of naturally did those things. Wow. When I. Uh, when I was no longer working as a, uh, I worked for a CPA and tax attorney and I got laid off and I went to school. It went back to work at a school that I attended, which is locally here.

[00:08:19] It's a teen parent program. I think is Greek for pregnant because on my 17th birthday, I found I was pregnant and then less than a month later I was married and then, Uh, when I was around 21 is when I went to work at Siasis and I, uh, since I went back to work there after going there as a high schooler, um, as a caregiver, I always had the kids in my group that had special needs.

[00:08:51] It was just, I always gravitated to those children. Oh, wow. As I said, I was, I knew I was supposed to be a teacher. I knew it, right? So when I got pregnant at 17, I thought, Oh, there goes my dream of being a teacher. Oh, I'm going to go 

[00:09:07] Penny Fitzgerald: to college. But 

[00:09:08] Lori Stephens: when I went and worked at Saisis, one of the requirements was I had to take three college classes to get what's called as at the time, it still is a child development associate, but it was only three classes.

[00:09:20] Well, I did that with a young family working a full time job. I went and I took the three classes and I realized, well, if I can do those three classes, I can do college. So I did. It took me a long time. It took me like four or five years just to get my bachelor's, but that's working full time as a full time as a mom and a mother or a wife.

[00:09:40] Um, and so I did all those things, 

[00:09:44] Penny Fitzgerald: but by the way, that's, that's less time than it takes now. Normally, 

[00:09:50] Lori Stephens: well, to be a teacher. And then when I started the program, I realized that I did gravitate to those kids that need my help. Yeah. And I, I got my special ed degree. Um, as a, and then, then I got in the classroom and I was in the classroom for six months and started my graduate program because I realized what they taught me in teacher school, how to teach reading.

[00:10:14] It wasn't what the kids needed. My kids needed me to really understand how to teach reading and I didn't. So I went back and got my masters as a reading specialist because with the kids, I, that's what they needed. The district was using programs that I just. didn't, wasn't excited about. And if I wasn't excited about it, there was no way my kids was going to be excited about it.

[00:10:37] It was just really very scripted, very challenging. Anyway, so we did that. Well, after that, I, didn't like the public system. It was hard because in special ed, we were, um, the redheaded stepchild, if you would. We were in the last portable at the end of the board. Oh yeah. And we got no resources and we were always the last to be included.

[00:11:02] And I was really just kind of disgusted because I couldn't run my classroom the way I needed to. I, I, I'm a hugger. I, kids need love. They need that affection and you're not supposed to do that. So I started in private. I started at a private school, um, not as a teacher, but as a program director. And that was great because I got to interact with the teachers, the kids, and parent.

[00:11:26] It was what I was used to, and I loved it. Then the, uh, so. CEO left and I had a choice. I either step up into her position or I help hire somebody that comes in. I train them and then I take orders from them, my ego, and I submit it with my ego, said, I'm doing the job. I've got this. 

[00:11:48] Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. 

[00:11:49] Lori Stephens: Yeah. No. I never should have done wasn't a 

[00:11:50] Penny Fitzgerald: right fit.

[00:11:51] Lori Stephens: No, I am not that person. I'm not. Okay. It's running a business and I was not trained to run that. Right. Yeah. I was an educator. Mm-Hmm. . So I was way outta my league. It was a not-for-profit. Many people on the board couldn't put hands on and help. They just weren't an very active board. Mm-Hmm. . So there I was all by myself.

[00:12:13] Yeah. Last year I was there. I was sick nine times. Nine times. Oh, for three days your body was 

[00:12:19] Penny Fitzgerald: telling you something. 

[00:12:20] Lori Stephens: Yeah. My body was saying, this does not work for you. Yeah. Um, the stress was outrageous. Wow. And, um, in all of that time where I got my joy was I joined Toastmasters. Oh. Nice Toastmasters if, for those in the audience that don't know is a public speaking leadership program and I got bit by the bug, big time

[00:12:44] I used to get up when I was in the private school, I would get up every quarter and be in front of parents. Boy would and Oh yeah, would run down the back of my legs and down my fingertip. Yeah. Horrible. But I wanted so badly to be able to communicate in front of a group of people. So I joined Toastmasters.

[00:13:05] And the first time, the first meeting, they called me up for what's called Table Topics. Which is where you talk for one minute. You're given a topic and you try to talk for one minute, right? And my topic was water. Talk about water for one minute. Right? You think that's easy. I had 15 seconds under my belt and I'm like, uh, uh, uh, uh, 

[00:13:27] Penny Fitzgerald: no, it's a wet.

[00:13:29] Lori Stephens: I had nothing, but the whole, the people in the club were so awesome. They started throwing questions at me. Oh, that's great. Do you like water in the ocean? Do you like to take a bath? Do you take a shower? Talk about, so they got me to my minute and yeah, when I realized I could do a minute, I signed up, right?

[00:13:46] And I did. I'm a go-getter. So I did everything I could do in Toastmasters. Went, you know, leadership, did the competitions and, and when I started Powerful Education Solutions, it was genuinely, truly 100% to be a paid public speaker. to share what I knew to get out in the world and, and share it like this.

[00:14:05] And in this kind of dynamic, I'm amazing, right? I can talk all day long. You put me in a spot where I'm trying to write and I get really academic and I get very, um, boring. It's not, it doesn't flow as well. I don't do as well. Anyway, I convinced myself that I needed stories. I needed stories to go out and do my public speaking.

[00:14:31] So I really built my business, serving families and children as an advocate. So an educational advocate. I went through child advocate. Uh, I went through several iterations of title and I landed at educational advocate because I'm not a parent advocate. I'm not advocating for the parent. And when you say child advocate, people think court.

[00:14:53] I'm not a child advocate. I'm an educational. So I'm advocating for this student's rights in their education. Right. And I'm not a lawyer, so I'm not going to start re imparting law, but I do understand the process for an 504 and how to get those kids help. And so I help families get help at school. I'm also a school success coach.

[00:15:15] So I work one on one with students every week, um, to work on executive functioning skills. Short term, long term memory, auditory processing, visual processing, um, how to get through things quickly, what the roadblocks are for them in their own minds. What tools and tips and strategies do they need to be successful?

[00:15:35] And I have some students, students who roll in, they pick it up and they're gone after it's 1 school year and it's awesome. And then I have other students that walk in and I'm the 1 adult in their world. that sits for one hour a week and uncaptivate, undivided attention on them. Oh, wow. Only time they get that.

[00:15:54] Their parents love them. They're involved. It's just not the same. I don't judge my students. I don't beat my students up. It's all about what do you need? How can I help you? Wow. And they feel supported. So some of them hang out for several years. I had one student from third grade and he graduated. So I had him for a while and it's just that I understand them.

[00:16:21] We know how to work together. I know how to get out of them. So, yeah, so that last year I was at the private school. I remember the last time I was sick. I was at girls, Inc, giving a talk And I was sick and had no business being there the whole way there. I'm praying. Okay, God. This is all you. This is all you.

[00:16:43] I don't know how I'm going to get through this. I got an hour and a half. I know you got this though. You got my back. Penny. I walked in the door and I was good. Oh, I was good. I didn't cough. I didn't sneeze. I was good for a whole hour and a half, but at one hour and a half, one hour, 30 minutes on the dot.

[00:17:05] It came back, it hit me and I started coughing come up and I said, thank you ladies and gentlemen, I'm, that's my time, I'm out. Peace out. Talk to you later. I literally grabbed my stuff, walked out the door coughing my head off. Uh huh. I just needed to be in bed for three days sick and the whole time I was like, it's time to go.

[00:17:27] It's time to go. I need this time to leave my job and I did. Wow. And Powerful Education Solutions was born. 

[00:17:36] Penny Fitzgerald: Okay. And how long ago was that? That was in 2011. 

[00:17:40] Lori Stephens: Okay. Yep. It was the end of the school year and I left, uh, the end of the school year and I started, uh, powerful educations in, uh, 2011. 

[00:17:49] Penny Fitzgerald: Wow. That's great.

[00:17:51] I mean, clearly there's a need and clearly your body was telling you 

[00:17:58] Lori Stephens: that stress was just not mine. Yeah. No, I'm, I don't handle stress well. So yeah. So that's really my basic story. Yeah. And that's how it started. 

[00:18:09] Penny Fitzgerald: You know, I've heard over and over again, especially recently that when you have your, your body reacts to that because your.

[00:18:19] Your mind, your mouth, your actions are saying yes, but your soul is saying no, and that's when our body kind of shuts down or gives us a little, you know, it starts with a little tap, tap, tap. 

[00:18:32] One thing I hear from female entrepreneurs all the time is that they don't want to feel salesy. They don't want to bug their friends and family. And they don't want to hustle and grind for sales. They may have received some bad advice telling them to post more on social media. So they post, and they post, and they post.

[00:18:53] And that doesn't feel good. So they either stop, Are inconsistent or don't convey the right message. I'm Penny Fitzgerald and I've been training women entrepreneurs for more than 18 years, leading one of the top three direct selling teams in my former company. And now I'm providing my proven language systems and tools that will help you serve your customers rather than feel like you're selling or like you're constantly working.

[00:19:18] I've put together a three day free live event to teach female entrepreneurs a radically different way of running your business. So it's not running you, a way of doing business that's in service of others. One you can be proud of, where your customers will love you, and one that helps you reach your goals.

[00:19:36] I'm holding this event starting on Monday, January 6th at 1 p. m. Eastern Time via Zoom. You can save your spot by going to my website that's pennyforyourshots. com and click the green button at the top labeled Save My Spot. or just text the word serve to 319 448 3545. And I'll text you back that direct link.

[00:20:00] This course is normally 297, but I'm offering it to you for free. Don't miss your opportunity to shift your business from selling to serving. I hope you'll join me, and I can't wait to toast to your success. Cheers.

[00:20:17] Lori Stephens: Yes, ma'am. I actually had to start paying attention to the tap because it came up. 

[00:20:22] Penny Fitzgerald: Exactly a slap in the face and then eventually you'll get the boulder, but yeah.

[00:20:28] Lori Stephens: And, you know, as my business has evolved, the tap, tap, tap has been there, like it's, it's time to add something to what you're doing right now, like I'm, I'm getting the, it's time for me to add to what I'm doing, because I've been doing this a long time, um, and it's just time to add. And I think it is time for me to get out and start speaking and sharing what I know more.

[00:20:50] And I think integrate is a great platform for doing that. So I'm that is what is happening in the next year. I'm going to get out and start sharing. That's great. Yeah. Yeah. It's an important piece. I think because. There is a lot in here that my students have taught me, um, that sharing with parents and teachers I think would be valuable.

[00:21:11] Um, I remember one time, uh, my student, when she was new, and we were talking about, you know, how it goes at home. And I asked her, I said, so is mom a yeller? Yeah. She was hesitant to admit it, but she's like, yeah. I said, is mom a nagger? And she goes, Well, who among us is not? Great. And so, uh, we talked through all of that and I said, well, what does it all look like?

[00:21:41] And blah, blah, blah. And so when we left, when we walk out, I always walk out and speak to the parents and, and share what we did, what we worked on. And we know what I expect for the week. And, uh, um, I said, so mom, I said, are you a yeller? And she goes. Yeah. . I said, well, are you a nagger? And she goes, oh yeah.

[00:22:02] And then she looked at her daughter and said, she said, see, we all have things to work on. . Oh yeah. Beautiful. She handled it so beautifully. 

[00:22:09] Penny Fitzgerald: That is great. 

[00:22:11] Lori Stephens: Yeah. I really loved it. And then that allowed, it opened up the door, you know? Yeah. To have more conversations like that. Yeah. And I talk about, um, the relationship because I'm not just a.

[00:22:24] Avenue or one path kind of person. It's a whole person because all of it comes to pass to make a difference. Um, and so I talk about energy and energy exchange with, within relationships. 

[00:22:38] Penny Fitzgerald: And with 

[00:22:38] Lori Stephens: this particular family, I was able to. demonstrate and people have done this different ways, but I have these dollar fig dollars and I gave each mom and the daughter 10 each, right?

[00:22:48] And first I went to mom, I said, okay, mom, you just woke up from a great night's sleep and you're refreshed, you're full. Now MK talks about this in the power pyramid and she talks about 95ing, right? But how I was talking about this to my family was, Okay, so you've refilled your energy tanks and you've got 10 now.

[00:23:06] So mom, the first thing you think about is what when you wake up in the morning? Oh, here we go again. I said, so give me a dollar. 

[00:23:14] Penny Fitzgerald: Oh wow. 

[00:23:15] Lori Stephens: Right? So now she's down to nine dollars and she's only been awake 30 seconds. Wow. And I'm like, okay, what's the next thing? She goes, well, my feet go on the floor and I think I've got to go wake X up.

[00:23:25] I said, okay, that's another dollar because that was negative. Right? And so by time within two minutes of her waking up and getting to her daughter's door to wake her up, she was down 4 out of the 10. Ouch. Yeah, it was definitely. I said, okay, in this moment, mom, what's one thing that could happen that would get you some energy back?

[00:23:46] And she said, well, if I open the door and she was already awake. I said, okay. I said, okay, we're going to push pause there. And I switched over to the daughter and I said, okay, you had a great night's sleep. You have 10. You got refreshed. Your energy is solid. The first thing you do when you wake up as well.

[00:24:03] She goes, I think check 

[00:24:05] Penny Fitzgerald: my phone. 

[00:24:06] Lori Stephens: Yeah. It was like, I turned the alarm off and say, Oh, I want to do is go to bed. I said, well, how much energy did that? She, she goes to, so she's already given up to just waking up. And I'm like, Oh my. So we go through it and. This was interesting. I said to her, I said, okay, so mom yells at you how much she gave a dollar.

[00:24:24] I said, and now mom yelled at you again 'cause you're late. How much? A dollar. So now she's already down to like $4 before she gets to school. And now I give this scenario. I'm like, okay. So now you walk into class and your best friend is mad at you and walks away. How much energy does that take? She threw in the rest of her money.

[00:24:41] Oh, wow. Mom goes, really? Really? I'm mad at you and it's only a dollar and she's mad at you and it's four? That's what she took from that? That's what she got, yeah. Well, that's not all she took from it, but in that moment, she's like, really? Wow. That was also eye opening. So just that one little activity, the two of them got to see how each other is taking each other's energy.

[00:25:06] And then I flipped the question to the daughter of. Well, in this moment, what's one thing that could get you a dollar back? She goes, well, my friend could apologize. I was like, okay, I said, or, and so she, you know, she got to a couple of things where she could do things for herself to get that. Good. 

[00:25:25] Penny Fitzgerald: Good. Uh, 

[00:25:26] Lori Stephens: but that was after working with her.

[00:25:28] She, of 

[00:25:28] Penny Fitzgerald: course, it's a process. Yeah. 

[00:25:31] Lori Stephens: So, you know, kids are like this. Yeah, I'm trying to get them like this so they can't see anymore. 

[00:25:37] Penny Fitzgerald: Get your power back, like MK talks about. Yeah, you give away your power when you're expecting your energy to come from someone else. 

[00:25:44] Lori Stephens: Yes, or just allowing them to, just giving that energy away.

[00:25:49] Yeah, 

[00:25:50] Penny Fitzgerald: exactly. Yeah. Yeah, everyone has a negative bias and negativity bias and that's it takes work to turn yourself around. 

[00:26:02] Lori Stephens: Yes. So, yes, I have introduced 8 to great to my students and the students that can handle it. I have 3 loaner copies that we talk about. You know, I asked them to read a chapter the next week.

[00:26:14] If they bring it back, we talk about it. And as long as they read it and they bring it back, I do not charge them for the book. And it's always, well, what did you find interesting in this chapter? And it's, it's very revealing, um, how many students don't even know how to dream. Oh, wow. Yeah. Really? So what's the dream here?

[00:26:35] What's the picture? And what was interesting is I, what's the dream here? Oh, I want to make all A's and B's this quarter. What does that look like? Okay, and they can visualize the report card. They said, okay, here's the question. Because we say conceive it, believe it, achieve it. Right? So get the idea, conceive it, then believe in your heart that you can achieve it, and then you will achieve it.

[00:26:56] So the question that I asked was, what do you believe you can make all A's and B's? Nope. Sure don't. So that's where my work starts, is helping them get that picture back of, and that dream back of, what does that look like for me? . You know, and, and we don't go big. We don't go big because if they can't Mm-Hmm.

[00:27:17] Even see small how to big baby steps. Yeah. If they do go big, I go there with them because I don't wash that and I wanna hear Right. That as, as the builder. But we, we can start, start small. We can start small. Yeah. , that's somewhere there. Yep, yep, yep. Yeah. 

[00:27:35] Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah, 

[00:27:36] Lori Stephens: so, so my main focus is on executive functioning, um, and, um, working with students to help with those particular skills.

[00:27:45] Um, and I work a lot with students with disabilities such as ADHD, um, autism, and learning disabilities. Oh, wow. Uh, and it's interesting, many people don't realize that, okay, so attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, ADHD, or ADD, however you want to look at that, um, anxiety. And auditory processing disorder will look very similar in a student.

[00:28:09] Okay, so auditory processing is the student. Here's the words they go in the students processing thing and it takes them a while to process the language and come up with a what did they just say? Okay, so you have to give them think time. People with anxiety are in their head, thinking about, oh, I wonder what they think of me, and oh, I hope they like my hair, and oh, I hope my, I don't have anything wrong with, you know, those kinds of things.

[00:28:31] Those are superficial, but there's other anxiety, and they're all in here. And then there's ADHD, where they're thinking about a million different things, and they're here, and they're here, and they're here, and they're just everywhere. So the teacher walks in, and this is good morning class, Get your morning work out, put your name on your paper, and begin.

[00:28:47] You've got five minutes. Oh gosh. First student, person with auditory processing, heard the words, Good morning class. Get your morning work out. They're still processing good morning. They, they're not really catching up on the, start doing your bell work or whatever. So now they're going, Oh crap. What did she say?

[00:29:04] What am I supposed to do? Okay. Well, then the kid with, um, anxiety was in their head and didn't start listening even until the teacher said the third sentence. So now they're looking around like, oh, no, I wasn't listening. What am I supposed to do? What if I do the wrong thing? Oh, my God, what am I going to do?

[00:29:23] The kid with ADHD was in their own head, and they were over here doing 18 other things, thinking about a million other things, and they didn't hear the teacher start talking either. So now they're going. Right, so all 3 students are in the same predicament, but they have a little differently, and that some internalize it and some externalize it, um, the internalize looks like shut down, like, not working, not beginning, not asking for help.

[00:29:48] The externalizing will look like off task behaviors, being loud, being distracting in class, um, playing those kinds of things, because it's easier to do those things than to mess it up. Right. I'm going to do it on my terms, not your terms. So I, I try to share that information with people so that they understand like, okay, is this anxiety or ADHD?

[00:30:11] It doesn't matter. It's a moment that we need to step back and support them and help them in the moment. Well, and 

[00:30:16] Penny Fitzgerald: anxiety, I mean, on a clinical scale is, you know, much different, but I don't know anyone, especially a kid that wouldn't have anxiety at a certain time in their life. Cause, I mean, they're all, that's a part of your development is that comparison starts in junior high and you want to fit in and you want to be, it's more important to belong 

[00:30:40] Lori Stephens: than to stick out.

[00:30:42] Yes. 

[00:30:42] Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. 

[00:30:43] Lori Stephens: In middle school, the beginning of high school, towards the end of high school, they've really started to come into their own and they feel comfortable with their own skin, but that's because they've been through it. Yeah, through it, but middle and high school are rough. Yeah, my favorite. I love 

[00:30:57] Penny Fitzgerald: them.

[00:30:58] Lori Stephens: I really do. They're my favorite because they're starting to figure out who they are, but they're willing to listen. 

[00:31:05] Penny Fitzgerald: You 

[00:31:05] Lori Stephens: get to ninth grade and they're like, I know who I am and I don't need you. And then, okay, 11th, they'll come back around and go, well, maybe, yeah, those middle schoolers and actually middle school and college students are my favorites.

[00:31:21] Okay. I'm at a point in my career where I want to work with students who want to do the work. 

[00:31:27] Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. 

[00:31:27] Lori Stephens: I don't, the parents that bring them in here and say, here, fix my kid. 

[00:31:31] Penny Fitzgerald: Oh, gosh, 

[00:31:32] Lori Stephens: that never works. It really doesn't because it takes, it really, I mean, it's a relationship. 

[00:31:37] Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. There's more to fix than the kids.

[00:31:40] Yes. Yes. 

[00:31:41] Lori Stephens: So, you know, everybody's talking about it. COVID 2020, it really, it really put a hurtin on our children. It really did. And for a couple of years now, they've been telling us we're not okay. They've been telling us this through their behavior. I mean, last school year, we had several schools that went through lockdown every day for two weeks.

[00:32:01] because there was a bomb threat. There was some kind of, um, physical violence threatened. There was something going on in high schools. I mean, and, and this was actually across the nation. We had it in something like this last year. Um, this year has been a little bit better, but our kids are telling us we need help.

[00:32:20] We don't understand what's happening because during COVID, when we went through lockdown, no one could fail. No one was allowed to fail. If you showed up, even if you didn't show up, you didn't fail. Teachers were not allowed to fail you, period. So then, you know, we went to the transition year where some was in class and some was, it was hybrid.

[00:32:40] And then we still weren't allowed to fail. And then we, when we went back to full time school, everybody's like, the adults said, okay, we're going back to normal. What is that? That to a kindergartner who started with masks and screens. What is normal? 

[00:32:58] Penny Fitzgerald: Well, and what's normal? I mean, I can't imagine being a teacher.

[00:33:02] through all of that too. They had to figure, well, we all had to pivot. We all had to pivot and figure something out, but teachers have this, this addedly, Oh my God. The, the, I just admire teachers so much because they are forming our future. 

[00:33:22] Lori Stephens: They are. And their hands right now are being bound by a lot of stupid rules.

[00:33:28] And yeah, yeah. I just said that by a lot of stupid rule. 

[00:33:31] Penny Fitzgerald: Um, 

[00:33:33] Lori Stephens: you know, they it's. Some of the rules are to protect our children, but it's just silly to me when they pass the law about books can't be classes without approval. But then the approval process isn't clear. How do you get it in? So the 8 to great book.

[00:33:51] We can't get it approved for schools in Florida. What? Exactly. Exactly. Because nobody knows the process. Nobody's willing to help us with that. 

[00:34:01] Penny Fitzgerald: Oh my God. We could be 

[00:34:02] Lori Stephens: changing lives in schools. Yeah. For the better. For the huge better. Because it's a masterful curriculum for elementary, middle, high school.

[00:34:11] Yeah. Of course. It's amazing. It's ready to go. We could get it in schools. 

[00:34:17] Penny Fitzgerald: You know, and it's all about, Managing your emotions and being able to process and being able to. Resilience. 

[00:34:27] Lori Stephens: Yes. The word. Those 

[00:34:29] Penny Fitzgerald: are skills that you need. 

[00:34:31] Lori Stephens: Yes. Um, we, we use it in LifeSkills Prep Camp this summer. That is what I do for the summer is I have LifeSkills Prep Camp.

[00:34:39] And that came from, you know, working one on one with students. We would have a conversation about something that was happening, and we would talk about tools and skills and, and they would, I would teach them and they would have it. And then the following week, they would come in and say, so how was your week?

[00:34:53] And they would give me a story about something and it happened. And I go, well, remember last week when we talked about that, that skill, we learned that new skill, whatever it might be. They're like, yeah, like, well. That would have been a great time to use that skill. Oh, yeah. Right. So what I, what I realized is I needed a group dynamic to help them start applying what they were learning with me.

[00:35:17] And so I created Life Skills Prep Camp. And this past year, we used age to grade throughout. And so one of the things, um, the first one is get the picture, uh, Highway 1 is get the picture, which is what is one of your dreams. And then you have to conceive it, believe it, achieve it. Right. And one of the activities we do is the potato activity where we take the potato and we take a straw and we put it through.

[00:35:42] All of my students got the straw through the potato. Oh, cool. They could. And that was huge. What was interesting was one of my counselors. the first time could not get it through. She couldn't. She tried so hard. I gave her a new patina. I gave her a new, she truly didn't believe she could do it. And she never did it that day and she cried.

[00:36:04] She was really upset. She like, all the kids could do it. I couldn't do it. And I worked with her on her own belief system and belief in herself. And the next session, because we do three, two week sessions, the next session, we did the potato activity again. And she got up there and I said, do you believe you can do this?

[00:36:23] She goes, yeah. I said, are you sure? She's like, yeah, because you have to kind of put some energy behind it. You can't just go, right. You have to go. So she, she's like, all right, ready, 1, 2, 3, and we all counted and she went, and it went straight through. She's like, I was awesome, but we use it with them. And we started every morning with three gratitudes.

[00:36:44] We went around the room. And what's nice is grateful for, um, even the kids that were nonverbal, um, that didn't want to participate in most things they participated in because the light was shown on them. 

[00:36:57] Penny Fitzgerald: That thing in gratitude. If you. if you just do that one piece of the book, you're so much farther ahead.

[00:37:06] The three gratitudes every morning cannot be the same. 

[00:37:09] Lori Stephens: Nope. Yep. I did that with my mom for 30 days. Interesting. It was interesting. She's like, how long are we doing this? I said, 30 days, mom. And what I loved about it, I got really creative. Like, so I love my morning coffee, right? So you can say, I'm grateful for my morning coffee.

[00:37:30] And then the next day you can say, I'm grateful for my first taste of coffee. And then the next day you can say, I love the smell of coffee brewing. So really also taught me or taught the kids. I was able to show them how to expand on the topic and be grateful for many, yeah, dig deeper, many different aspects of gratitude of the same thing.

[00:37:51] It was a really cool experience. Yeah. 

[00:37:54] Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. That is neat. 

[00:37:55] Lori Stephens: Yeah. 

[00:37:56] Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. And that will take you so far. I mean, you start your day off with three gratitudes. You are, you know, that's way better than thinking, Oh my God, I got to go walk down the hall and argue with my daughter about getting up. Exactly. 

[00:38:08] Lori Stephens: Exactly.

[00:38:09] Yes. Yes. And that is a thing, unfortunately, for many parents. You know, they have the routine, they have their schedule, there's the expectation, but every time it's the same thing. It's the same argument because the kid doesn't want to and they're going to experience and it's frustrating through that. Yeah.

[00:38:26] Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah, yeah, it becomes a habit and then you get into this routine that you, you know, it's what you do. Yes. 

[00:38:33] Lori Stephens: And even when you're tired of the routine and you know, it's not good, you're still kind of, it's 

[00:38:38] Penny Fitzgerald: comfortable. 

[00:38:39] Lori Stephens: Yes. Um, a therapist, a friend of mine, Sue said people won't change until the pain of change 

[00:38:47] Penny Fitzgerald: is 

[00:38:47] Lori Stephens: easier than the pain of staying the same.

[00:38:51] That was an I, that just thinking about it like that, yes, I remember in my 20s, my mantra was, I don't like change. I don't like change. I don't like change. 

[00:39:00] Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah, most people find it very hard, but everything 

[00:39:04] Lori Stephens: changes. I know, but as a 20 year old, you'd think I would be on that, but no, I wanted everything to be, I don't like change.

[00:39:12] Yeah. Yeah, but I didn't find out I had ADD until my 40s. So that really shone a light on a lot of my history and like my self confidence or lack thereof. Um, my, my self doubts, my, all of those things I didn't realize because growing up, we, I, I was born here in Florida, but we moved up to Indianapolis, Indiana.

[00:39:36] And about the time I started kindergarten is about when they really started pushing desegregation in Indianapolis, Indiana. So, that was during 1975. Well, around 1975 is also when public law 49 162 came in. And that's when the special ed law came into play. And so that's really looking into schools, right?

[00:39:59] Okay. You would have thought desegregation would have started before that. And that's what baffles me, but it wasn't really in earnest, but when we started going to school, I am telling you in my neighborhood, we had a bus full of white children that got shipped to the inner city. And there were two white children to 20 black children in a class for 2nd, 3rd and 4th grade of my education.

[00:40:24] I was the only white girl and then there was a white boy and his name was Danny. And when I would come to school, I was the anomaly. I was the one that was different. I was still knowing how to read. They had never seen a book. I was in the lowest socioeconomic school there was. So needless to say, no one realized I had ADD.

[00:40:46] Penny Fitzgerald: Okay, back up a second. They had not, they didn't have access to books. 

[00:40:52] Lori Stephens: No, they didn't have books in their homes. Most of them did not at the time. Nope. So my older brother, two years older, taught me how to read. So when I went to school, I mean, reading was just something we did every night and every day.

[00:41:06] And so I went to school and I knew how to read. So I was teacher's pet. Of course, all my teachers were white and I was the only white girl in class. So I was a teacher's pet. Oh my goodness. So no, so none of the other kids liked me because I was a teacher's pet. Um, and plus I was smart. So I was bullied.

[00:41:23] Most of my. elementary years. Um, but it was okay because I lived in my own world. You know, having ADD, I would live in my own world and when they were playing dodgeball or kickball, which I was really not good at, no one ever picked me for their team. 

[00:41:38] Penny Fitzgerald: I was the same girl. 

[00:41:39] Lori Stephens: I would walk around and live in my dream world over here, you know, just creating my own friends and creating my own situations and figuring it out.

[00:41:48] Um, and that could have completely derailed me. It didn't, it actually, um, when I moved back to Florida, whenever I was in a class with black people, I gravitated towards them because I understood it's who I grew up with. So, um, and then I, and I just always helped everybody, but it just, they were my friends because that's how I understood.

[00:42:12] Um, I remember in 2nd grade, I had hair so long. I sat on it. That's how they knew who I was from the white boy. Well, my mom. convinced me to get my hair cut. And at the time, Dorothy Hamill. 

[00:42:26] Penny Fitzgerald: Oh 

[00:42:26] Lori Stephens: yeah. Yeah. 

[00:42:27] Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. Remember that haircut. 

[00:42:31] Lori Stephens: Yeah. Oh, it's going to be so easy to take care of. You'll love it. Yeah. Picture in the family album of my older brother, me and my younger brother, arms around each other, laughing, sitting close long hair.

[00:42:46] I'm home two hours later, both of my brothers oriented away from me, arms crossed, my older brother didn't talk to me for two weeks. Go to school the next day and everybody goes, Oh, look, we have a new white boy in class.

[00:43:03] Notice my hair is not short. I've been able to have short hair since then. And I'm 55.

[00:43:11] When I got my first divorce, I was like, I'm in an appointment with the hair salon. I'm going to go get my haircut. I cried the whole way there. Couldn't do it. 

[00:43:21] Penny Fitzgerald: I can't blame you. I don't, I don't like the way I look in short hair either. I put it up a lot, but 

[00:43:28] Lori Stephens: I don't even know what I look like in short hair anymore.

[00:43:30] I just know that I personally have a hard time thinking about even doing it. So 

[00:43:34] Penny Fitzgerald: yeah, that, wow. It's, it's amazing how our experiences shape us. Yes. 

[00:43:40] Lori Stephens: And, you know, I know that more goes into it than the first seven years of your life, but those first seven formative years are so important. So important. So many people don't understand the importance of it because they don't understand what's happening.

[00:43:55] So we come into life, we're a blank slate. Right, we have our DNA codes and stuff and we're eventually that's going to create part of who we are, but environment we take information and we create meaning around it. And then it becomes our belief system and we talk about an infant, right? I feel this feeling in my tummy.

[00:44:16] Wha Mom comes, checks my diaper. Okay. Didn't do it. It's still there. WW she gives me food. Oh, there it is now. Now the story I tell myself is when this feeling comes, if I go w wha Mom comes and takes care of the pain in my belly and fills me. Well, next day it's dad's turn. Dad comes, checks the diaper. Well, I checked his diaper, they should be fine.

[00:44:45] Well, the feeling's still there. I'm going to intensify. And dad figures out, okay, I'm going to give him a bottle. Okay, so I feel this feeling in my tummy. What do I do? I and somebody comes. Right. So now they've learned how this works. Okay. That's just a simple example. So now in their belief system, as long as that happens repeatedly, they understand mom and dad take care of me.

[00:45:09] If I make this noise, people come to take care of me. So this goes on for 7 years. Here's the problem. The first 7 years of life. We, as the people interacting with this infant, don't know what stories they're building in their heads. We don't know what belief systems they're building by what they're seeing unless we speak into their world.

[00:45:31] And many people don't speak into their world and help form what they're believing in and telling the stories because they don't know. Mm. So when I'm working with students and, and I'm, I'm hitting on a belief system that is stopping my students, we try to get to where does that belief system come from and how can we shift it?

[00:45:50] Mm-Hmm. so that we can now have the dream and believe that we can have it and take full responsibility in all the things from eight degree 

[00:45:56] Penny Fitzgerald: Mm-Hmm. . Yeah. It's important. 

[00:46:00] Lori Stephens: It is. It's a lot. And, you know, kids don't come with a parenting manual. . And, and here's the thing. We go to seven 11 to get a job. we have to get training.

[00:46:10] We want a driver's license. We need training. We want to do just about any job in the world. We have to have training, but 

[00:46:15] Penny Fitzgerald: there's no, except the most important one in the world, 

[00:46:18] Lori Stephens: right? There's no required training to be a parent. Now, I've always said, I don't want to tell you how to raise your kid. I don't want to do is give you information on what you do and how that impacts your child.

[00:46:31] So you can make informed decisions raising your child. 

[00:46:35] Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. 

[00:46:35] Lori Stephens: Especially for kiddos with ADD. Because here's what happens, the stories that we tell ourselves growing up and the belief system that comes from that is we're wrong, we're stupid, we're bad, we're screw ups, we always do it wrong. That is our self talk, because people with ADHD get like 20 times more negative feedback than typically developing kids, okay?

[00:47:05] Don't. someone could say to me, well, I do it this way, right? And what I might hear is, you're so stupid. You couldn't figure out how to do it that way. That way is so much better. Now that's not what the person said, but because of our programming and our belief systems, that's what we hear. So because I've done the work, I understand that what they're saying isn't what I'm hearing and I can get to the middle of what's being said.

[00:47:36] That's also what I hope students do because they're not always there. 

[00:47:41] Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. Active listening and empathy and you come from a unique perspective having some of those struggles. So that's amazing. 

[00:47:50] Lori Stephens: I do believe that's why I connect well with my students and I help parents understand because I've been there.

[00:47:55] I've been there done that. I've had the experience of living the experience as well as on the other side of it because of course my son has ADD. Thank you. My granddaughter has ADD. It's hereditary. And it's interesting when I realized I had it, the first thing I did was looked at my parents and thought, well, my dad had it.

[00:48:13] Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. You didn't recognize it. 

[00:48:15] Lori Stephens: No, no, it wasn't dad. No, no. It was mom. It was mom. My dad had a learning disability that was undiagnosed. Of course. Right. So, um, after getting into my position and doing what I do, I realized mom has anxiety. She has a lot of anxiety, but you know her era. That's not what that was called.

[00:48:35] Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah, 

[00:48:36] Lori Stephens: you didn't talk about those things. 

[00:48:37] Penny Fitzgerald: No 

[00:48:38] Lori Stephens: And she also had sensory issues Mmm, I have sensory issues and the only I understand what mom was going through is because I'm going through it And so I asked her, you know, hey, this is what's happening for me. What's happening for you? And she's like, yeah, I'm like That's a sensory issue.

[00:48:53] Okay. Oh, so I'm helping generationally as well. 

[00:48:57] Penny Fitzgerald: That's 

[00:48:58] Lori Stephens: great. 

[00:48:58] Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah It helps when we understand. 

[00:49:02] Lori Stephens: Yeah, it does It does so, you know, I run my business and I have my summer stuff and then things that light me up or things like plants Plants. Okay. I love plants. And garden. You garden. I do. I mean, this is new for me because I used to kill plants.

[00:49:24] I, I, I had a brown thumb. If I had a plant, it died. But honestly, I know I didn't pay close attention and I didn't really do the research. And I always thought, oh, well all plants need sun and all plants need the same amount of water and they need the same kind of soil. So here you go. Um, and I had a friend have a supposition, uh, that.

[00:49:44] When we finally learn how to take care of ourselves and start healing ourselves, we can start nurturing other living beings. 

[00:49:53] Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. 

[00:49:53] Lori Stephens: Yeah. And it was about the time that I started doing the work on healing myself that I started my passion for plants. 

[00:50:00] Penny Fitzgerald: Oh, that's cool. 

[00:50:01] Lori Stephens: Yeah. So it made sense to me. Um, yeah, it does.

[00:50:05] It does. It does. And, uh, I was working with somebody and she says, Lori, do you have any green in your office? And I'm like, no, it's a real low light office. And she said, there are low light plants. Go get green and put it in your office. 

[00:50:17] Penny Fitzgerald: Oh, that'd be nice. Yeah. Yeah. That'd have something living. 

[00:50:20] Lori Stephens: And I did that.

[00:50:21] I went, I, I went and went kind of crazy with it. But anyway, , um, and I really did the next day I felt like my office just felt crisper and cleaner and like uhhuh. Yeah. And so it's like there is really something to all of that. And, um, oh yeah. So my joy on the weekend is playing with plants. Um, that's what I call it.

[00:50:40] Um, I have bon bon, I have different bonsai trees, and I like flipping those and shaping 'em and, Mm-Hmm. , I just, I, and it's the same thing working with students. Do an intervention and see it thrive. See it grow. Yeah. Yeah. Plan it, water it, nurture it, see it grow. And that's what I'm doing with my students. I just do it in a different way.

[00:51:04] That's great. With a lot less feedback. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 

[00:51:10] Penny Fitzgerald: Little guesswork in there. Yep. 

[00:51:12] Lori Stephens: Yep. 

[00:51:14] Penny Fitzgerald: Absolutely. I can't believe it's almost been an hour. We've been chatting already. Um, at the end of every conversation, I like to bring it back around because cocktails bring us together a bit and glasses of wine.

[00:51:29] What's your favorite beverage? What do you like to drink? 

[00:51:33] Lori Stephens: It has been vodka and cranberry. cranberry juice. Yep. Yep. Um, and I'm heavy on the cranberry heavy on the cranberry. Um, yeah, but my vodka crayon, I, I haven't had one in a while because I was not feeling so well, but yep. Vodka crayon I like to do a toast with.

[00:51:49] Um, and if it's not bad, it's Nick Ultra. Oh, sure. Yeah. Yep. I tried to step it up a little bit. A grizzly wine with some crayon, but I can't even drink wine straight. It has to be watered down. 

[00:52:03] Penny Fitzgerald: That's okay. You know, I bet that would be fantastic with Thanksgiving dinner. 

[00:52:08] Lori Stephens: Yes, yes. A little 

[00:52:09] Penny Fitzgerald: Riesling with cranberry in it.

[00:52:11] Uh huh. 

[00:52:12] Lori Stephens: I have some in my refrigerator. There you 

[00:52:14] Penny Fitzgerald: go. 

[00:52:16] Lori Stephens: We'll have a little toast. 

[00:52:18] Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah, good, good, good, good. Do you have a favorite memory with girlfriends and chatting over a nice cocktail? 

[00:52:26] Lori Stephens: We started about two years ago, a group, there's four of us, um, and we go on trips together and we deemed ourselves the mango paws tribe.

[00:52:41] There's a funny story behind it. One of the members of our tribe was talking to a seven year old nephew or something, and he came up and he says, I don't understand what's up with this mango pies, meaning minnow pies, and he said, I don't understand what's up with this mango pies. We were, we were toasting our drinks and we laughed so hard that we decided we were the mango pies tribe.

[00:53:05] Penny Fitzgerald: That is perfect. It is. 

[00:53:07] Lori Stephens: It's wonderful. I love that. We go and we sit and we have our, um, our drinks and we play Euchre and we laugh, uh, Crimes Against Humanity. We play fart. We just play games and just laugh. You don't have to go anywhere special. We just laugh and tell stories. Uh, it's interesting, uh, that I, growing up.

[00:53:33] brothers, male cousins. I had a son. I had male animals. I'm more masculine than feminine, but about 10 years ago, I just got this download in my brain that said, it's time to start building a tribe of strong women. Yes. And I started connecting more and making friends with women and all of that. And it's been a true blessing.

[00:53:55] It's been a true. Yes. So I would encourage everyone, if you don't have your tribe. Find your tribe and make sure it's full of feminine energy that worships that and celebrates feminine energy 

[00:54:08] Penny Fitzgerald: because 

[00:54:09] Lori Stephens: we need to balance the masculine feminine and I'm so male masculine dominant. I, I love my feminine time.

[00:54:17] Penny Fitzgerald: Oh, that's amazing. I totally agree. It's so, so important to connect with girlfriends and support each other and lift each other up and share all the things. 

[00:54:26] Lori Stephens: Yes. And don't be the clicky female. No. The loving, supporting, compassionate, I'm here for you person. Yeah. Yes, 

[00:54:34] Penny Fitzgerald: absolutely. Oh my gosh. That's fantastic.

[00:54:37] I got goosebumps. 

[00:54:38] Lori Stephens: Awesome. Penny, this has been so much fun. Thanks for having me. 

[00:54:42] Penny Fitzgerald: Thank you. Thank you. It's amazing. So Lori, where can people find you if they want to connect with you and learn more? 

[00:54:48] Lori Stephens: Okay, I've got two websites. I've got powerful education solutions.com. I know it's long, but powerful education solutions.com or life skills prep camp.com.

[00:55:01] Okay. Um, both of those will get you to me. I'm on Facebook. Um, I do have an Instagram. So those are my, the my Go-to. 

[00:55:08] Penny Fitzgerald: Very cool. I will include those links in my show notes and in my emails out to my people too. So you can find it there. Thank you. Wonderful. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. 

[00:55:20] Lori Stephens: I looked forward to having other 

[00:55:22] Penny Fitzgerald: conversations 

[00:55:22] Lori Stephens: with you and I'll see you next month.

[00:55:25] Penny Fitzgerald: Uh, yeah. January 

[00:55:26] Lori Stephens: for sure. That's awesome. Yeah. Okay. Thank you. Happy holidays. Happy holidays. Bye. 

[00:55:32] Penny Fitzgerald: Bye.