Joy as Your Soundtrack: Stories, Healing & French Rosé

What if the stories you tell yourself are the very things keeping you stuck?

In this episode, I chat with Carrie Rowan—author, musician, speaker, coach, and joy-bringer—about the power of rewriting your inner narrative. From personal transformation to musical healing, Carrie shares how our stories shape our reality... and how we can change them.

We dive into:

• Why our inner dialogue matters more than we think
• How to shift from “Why is it so hard?” to “What if it gets easier?”
• The neuroscience of focus and how to train your brain to look for the good
• Using creativity, music, and mindfulness to spark healing and joy
• And the magic of girlfriends + a glass of French rosé

Let’s make joy the new soundtrack of your life.

[00:03:00] Carrie shares what it means to “tell a new story”
[00:07:00] The moment she caught herself spiraling—and rewrote the narrative
[00:13:00] From corporate success to creative fulfillment
[00:18:00] How her music and book became tools for transformation
[00:20:00] Meditation, mindfulness, and serving with your story
[00:25:00] The role of curiosity in healing and change
[00:30:00] The power of focus: looking for what’s good
[00:33:00] “Do the thing”—how action brings clarity
[00:35:00] Rosé, art, and joy in everyday moments

To connect with Carrie, or learn more:  https://carrierowan.com/ 

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Transcript

Joy as Your Soundtrack: Stories, Healing & French Rosé 

[00:01:00] 

Carrie Rowan: Hello there. How are you? 

Penny Fitzgerald: I'm good. How are you? 

Carrie Rowan: I'm great. So good to meet you again. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Carrie, we have chatted before, but for my audience, would you tell us a little bit about you and what you do?

Carrie Rowan: Absolutely. Absolutely. So, um, my clients have dubbed me the professor of happiness and joy, which is just the cutest thing ever. And I just, I love helping people find their joy. I love digging in. You know, I wrote a book called Tell A New Story. Yes. And I love digging into the stories that we tell each other.

And more importantly, those stories that we tell ourselves. You know, the ones that are kind of icky, those stories that we don't even realize when we're in the thick of it, that they're the very thing holding us back. Like, you know, when you hear somebody tell that stuck story over and over again. Um, so I love helping people find that awareness of, wow, I've got this story that I'm telling myself.

We find that [00:02:00] story. I love this work so much because once you make that shift in someone's mind, they can't tell the story the same way. They, they start to tell the story. They're like, Ooh, I don't wanna tell that story anymore. I wanna tell a new and empowering story. So I really love helping people make joy, the new soundtrack of their life.

Penny Fitzgerald: Oh, I love that. Well, and don't you feel that the stories that we repeat. Get cemented. The more we repeat them, the more we be. You know, it's like this circle. You believe what you hear, you repeat that story, and it becomes even more and more real, even if it was never real in the first place. 

Carrie Rowan: It's so true. But we all have those beliefs. It's okay. We're all human. Yeah. Um, and finding that and a belief is just a thought that we keep thinking.

 It's just a habit. Like anything else, when you wanna start going to the gym, you gotta make that the new habit. Um, so it's like anything else really. It's just deciding. It's, become aware of it, 

 oh, everybody tells stories and you might not even realize. You're always telling these, like self-deprecating [00:03:00] stories perhaps about yourself, right? All the time. And until somebody calls you on it or until you have that intention to wake up to it, like, Hey, you know what? I'm sick of feeling crappy.

Maybe I'll take a look at, at these stories that I'm telling myself that aren't serving me. Or if you feel really stuck, I find for a lot of women who feel stuck digging in there and figuring out what those stories are is a quick way to release that stuck feeling. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Mm-hmm hmm. Right, right. Kind of the way we were raised, it's like that's the way things have always been.

Well, they don't have to stay that way. 

Carrie Rowan: Yeah. It's so true. I love that attitude. Right. It's like it's realizing it. And then I, what I love talking about, and I talk a lot about in my book is that. You have a choice. And a lot of times I don't think people realize they have a choice. Mm-hmm. I've actually had clients say.

Wow, you've really opened my eyes. I didn't know I had a choice to change my thoughts. I thought that mm-hmm. They were just gonna keep coming and coming and they do. You know, but it's what to do about it, right? It's like once you realize that now you've got the [00:04:00] power to make a new decision for yourself, how you wanna talk to yourself.

Mm-hmm. How you wanna talk to other people, how you wanna restructure those stories. You wanna keep telling that same old story, because I'm sure everybody right now can think about somebody that they know that does that. Like, oh, when I, when I say that to people, I'm like, um, do you know somebody that tells that same, oh, I know someone that, the same story.

And you look at their life and it's like, their life reflects that story. Right? They're stuck. Mm-hmm. I, I like to talk about it like the groove in a record. You know, I'm dating myself. You have to lift up the, the needle. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Hey, I'm right there with you. 

Carrie Rowan: Although vinyl's coming back, I know a lot of vinyl audio snobs who only like vinyl now, but it's, it's like that.

It's like lifting, moving the, picking up the needle or just giving it a little tack along. It's that simple sometimes, but it's the realizing of the stories that we tell that are stuck. But you look at that person's life and their life is reflecting just like that story is stuck, you know, through, you know.

Penny Fitzgerald: Wow. Carrie, where does this come from? Did you have a story [00:05:00] from your past that you felt was keeping you or holding you back? 

Carrie Rowan: Oh, absolutely. I 

Penny Fitzgerald: mean, when did you realize this? 

Carrie Rowan: Well, I started doing research on this. That's a great question from my book. Um, and I, and I knew that I had stories that I was telling.

Penny Fitzgerald: Mm-hmm. 

Carrie Rowan: And I started, you know, in a lot of tragedies that happened in my life. And so, um, I had two young babies at home and I, you know, everything was new. I was this new mom and, you know, all these things happened and. A short period of time in my life. So, and, and things mostly went well for me until that moment, like, you know, I got hit later on as I was a young adult with all this stuff, but I started to realize, you know, that I had this little story running through my head that I was saying about what happened that made me feel worse, right?

Like, 

Penny Fitzgerald: mm, 

Carrie Rowan: yeah, stuff happens and we realize that we don't have control over it, and we all have stuff that happens that we wish didn't happen, but to continue to tell a story. That was only making things worse and make myself feel worse. And I remember I was, um, you know, it was just, it was just sort of really that [00:06:00] whole awakening of all that stuff.

And I remember coming downstairs one night after I put my youngest to bed and she needed like an hour long routine and had to follow all these steps and it was a lot. And my husband would kind of trade off and. It was just kind of like that one story. It was the tipping of the iceberg for me. And I came downstairs and I went into the bathroom and all, all new moms experience all this.

It's a huge transition for your marriage, for all your relationships really. And I just remember crying in the bathroom like. I caught myself. I caught myself saying, why does it have to be so hard? And it wasn't just that I was talking about. Mm-hmm. It was everything I was talking about. Mm-hmm. Why does it have to be so hard?

Fill in the blank. Why does life, why does putting this child to bed, why does parenting, why does relationships, what it, but it was, I didn't even know I had that. And it was in that moment for some reason, I had some metacognition and I was able to catch that story. 

Penny Fitzgerald: And 

Carrie Rowan: then afterwards when I wasn't upset because that, those are the hardest stories I, those little tiny [00:07:00] ones.

Why does it have to be so hard? You'll never amount to much. Or why are you so stupid? All those little things we say to ourselves quietly when we're stressed. Yeah. Back brain, right. Those are the ones that are harder to catch. So the fact that I was able to kind of hear that story and catch that story yeah.

Opened up a lot for me. It really did. I, I started to go, whoa, I just heard myself say that. Wrote it down. Mm-hmm. I journaled about it. Um, yeah. So, yeah, that, that was kind of just one little, but it only takes one little story. It might not sound like a big deal, you know? Why is that to be so hard? But think about what your mind does, because now your mind's going to answer that question.

'cause when you give the mind a question, it always has to answer. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Oh yeah. There's, yeah. Anytime there's a question, there's always an answer. And that's a really good thing to remember, but hard to when you're in thick of it. Well, and when you were having that thought. You're a new mom, you're probably exhausted.

I'm sure you are. Every [00:08:00] totally, you know, being, being exhausted if you're, if you're tired, if you're hungry, if you are stressed out, if something else is, all these things pile on it, and it's harder when you're in that routine of just the wheels are just turning and I'm putting one foot in front of the other.

That's when it's really hard to capture. Okay. This is what's real here. Yeah. Instead of what's, what's what I'm thinking? 

Carrie Rowan: Yeah. And you're in survival mode. Right. And I had, right. I had lost my dad and my sister within 18 months of each other, tragically. And this was all happening at this very same time that I was a new parent and so much to deal with all at once.

Um, and stuff that was outta my control. That's the other thing. We, we Right. Those big things are out of our control. Right? Yeah. And that's why I love this work. I, I'm not saying that we can change any of those things and do I wish that none of those things happen? Of course, we, we, we all do. Mm-hmm. Um, for the things that we have, but it's like realizing like, [00:09:00] wait, am I making it worse?

Like, what can I say to myself that's gonna make me feel better about this? You know? Mm-hmm. Because there's a lot of other stories I could create besides that one. Yeah. 

Penny Fitzgerald: You know? Right, right, right. 

Carrie Rowan: Like even something as simple as it's getting a little bit easier every day. Right. That small shift in the story.

Mm-hmm. Instead of why does it have to be so hard? 

Penny Fitzgerald: Right. Well, and the, the words we say to ourselves in the moment. We would never say some of those things to our best friend. So why is it okay to say it to ourselves? You know, it's, we don't think of that. We just, we self deprecate or we're so hard on ourselves, and those words become truth.

I mean, they become our belief. 

Carrie Rowan: So true. Yeah. I love that because I say that to my kids. Well, now that my girls are. In their twenties. Um, I, that's one thing that I always try to get 'em to do, is to talk to, Hey, would you say that to your best friend? You know, right. If they tripped over the stool while you were here at the house, you would crack up and laugh.

You wouldn't say, oh my God, you're such a clutz. [00:10:00] You just wouldn't say that. Right. So I love that. That state of mind that you're talking about putting yourself in is talking to yourself like you're your best friend. Mm-hmm. Because you really are, 

Penny Fitzgerald: well, you, you're with your, I'm with me all the time. 

Carrie Rowan: Right.

I better like my own company. So true. And that's the longest standing relationship we're gonna have in your whole, entire life. So we're not make it a really good one, right? Like, yeah. Why not find some encouraging words to say to ourselves. 

And, um, most stories were given us to us when we're under the age of seven. Right. They're just, yeah. Because our minds were sponges. We're just soaking it all in. 

we forget to question it. We're adults, but we're still letting that 7-year-old, you know, run the show. 

Yeah. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Well, and in fairness too, our parents, the way we were growing up, they, they did the best they could with what they knew in that moment. 

Carrie Rowan: Agreed. 

Penny Fitzgerald: And they learn more along the way too. And so have we. So how about we use some of that wisdom that we've gained? And [00:11:00] apply it a little bit, you know? Yeah.

Just be a little bit more kind in general to each other and to ourselves especially. 

Carrie Rowan: Yeah. I love that everybody was doing, I I love that what you said, everybody was doing the best that they could with what they had mm-hmm. At the time. Right. And it's never a blame game. It's just the way humans are designed.

We're right. Our brains are human nature that way. And it, it doesn't necessarily mean it was your parents who planted the story. It could be a well intending adult that just said something passing and it just happened to stick. So, um. You just look for 'em just to find it what they are so you can feel better not so you can turn around and blame people.

'cause that never serves anything. Of course. Right, right. Um, yeah. To really put your arms around those stories. But also, like I always say to my kids, I wish I knew what I know now when I was here. Right. Like, yeah. So like, take my information and, and use it right to, to better your life and, um, you know, and to really help leave a legacy behind of, of stories that are empowering.

Penny Fitzgerald: Mm-hmm. Well, yeah, some of us aren't ready to hear it when we're [00:12:00] 20 something. 

Carrie Rowan: yeah, you have to learn it sometimes the hard way. 

Yeah. Well that's true. 

You know, we're always learning and growing and. Yeah. Putting new stuff and thoughts into our heads so that we can expand as humans. 'cause I think that's what we're here for. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah, right. To be better humans to serve. 

Carrie Rowan: Yes. How can I better serve? Right? Yeah. Like that prayer. I always remember that prayer that Oprah talked about that she would say is, um, you know, she would say, Hey, you know.

Tell me what, what did you put me here for? Use all my gifts. Take me and, and help me serve. How would you have me serve today? Mm-hmm. And I just love that thought, you know, putting that out to the universe. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Mm-hmm. Absolutely. Carrie, you're a talented musician too, right? 

Carrie Rowan: Yes. I, I mean, I, I guess 

Penny Fitzgerald: Oh, for sure, for sure.

You are. Tell tell my audience though a little bit about your background in music and stuff. I think it's just fascinating and very fun. 

Carrie Rowan: Oh, thank you. So, um. [00:13:00] I was in the corporate world, right outta school. Mm-hmm. Like you went and climbed that ladder. So a woman in the workforce and, and I got all the way to the top of where I thought I wanted to always be.

I had my vision, all my goals. I wanted to be a sales manager. I had eight people reporting to me and I looked around and I was like, oh, this kind of stinks. Wow, this isn't what I thought it was gonna be. And there was always that longing, that calling, because when I was a little girl, all I ever used to do was perform.

I don't know why I did that, but I just, anybody who would sit still was getting a show from Carrie, I'd get all the neighborhood kids together. Oh, I would organize a musical and whoever was coming to my house was gonna get the musical right, or the neighborhood musical or whatever. So I was constantly doing that stuff and writing poetry, and I was a.

Very creative kid, just naturally. Um, and so, yeah, I actually, but then I stopped doing it right, like I got older. Yeah. And I [00:14:00] think life squeezes that, you know, creativity on. Oh, 

Penny Fitzgerald: the joy. 

Carrie Rowan: The joy. There it goes. And I was like, I need to, I was a broke, you know, I was gonna go to law school, do all these things.

No, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna, I'm gonna get a job right outta school. I'm gonna go into sales, I'm gonna learn about business. And all that creative stuff. But I, I will say one thing that I always did and, and all my goal sheets, all my review meetings, there was always that section for the personal goals.

Mm-hmm. And my personal goal was always on there to continue my music. So I would do classes, I was, I would go to the local performing arts center and I would quietly keep that singing going. I took vocal classes and all that. So it wasn't until that day that I decided to jump off the corporate ladder.

And as I say, I landed softly on my piano bench. And I started, I said, my, my fingers learn how to play guitar. You know? And then, you know, my dad passed away and he was absolutely my biggest fan. And, um, he's like, he would say to me, he would call me when my kids would literally say, Carrie, are you writing Dad?

I'm just trying to [00:15:00] get a shower today. There's no writing going on. Come on, come on you, you gotta write. You gotta keep writing. That's your gift. And he would say to me, since I was a little girl, and I talk about this in my book. When, when God gives you gifts, it's your responsibility to share them with the world.

That's what he would tell me. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Wow. 

Carrie Rowan: And so I really started to say, wow, what if I could do something with my music career? What if I could, you know, I did all these amazing things here. What if I could lead this job and I could pursue this, and I could start writing more? And, and so that's what I, what I did.

And then out of all those strategies and all the things that happened, came my first full length album. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Wow. 

Carrie Rowan: And, uh, it was pretty cool. I talk about that in the book. I, I talk about, you know, it's called Polishing your Pearls. It's, it is a theory of mine that when life gives you, nevermind lemons, disgusting, slimy, a 

Penny Fitzgerald: grain of sand in your eyeball, 

Carrie Rowan: it starts throwing those slimy oysters.

You just really gotta. Get in there and then [00:16:00] you gotta polish that pearl. And my songs were my pearls, right? They were the things that came out of me.

They were cathartic to write. They were healing. And I didn't realize they were not just healing for me, but they were healing for the world. So who was hearing my music? Right? That was my uhhuh my first bout with knowing that I was a healer as I was healing people through my music. Because when we share, you know, they say out, out of the greatest pain comes the creative greatest art.

So when we share what we're going through, it lets somebody else. Who hear it, hears it and resonates with it, didn't know that they're not all alone. Wow. Somebody else gets it. Somebody else feels the same way I do. Mm-hmm. Um, so yeah, so it was really just. The realization that that was my new mission in life.

And then I started writing. I've got four albums, four CDs, wow. Albums. 

Penny Fitzgerald: I'm with you. I get it. It works. 

Carrie Rowan: It 

Penny Fitzgerald: can be, it's a collection. An album is a [00:17:00] collection, right? 

Carrie Rowan: It's an album. And um, you know, I got to go into kids music. 'cause my kid, my children were little and. It's funny because I, I used to drag them around to all my gigs.

So they've seen me performing on stage for years. Uhhuh. And I would do libraries and music festivals and I played in a duo for many years with one of my best friends. And it was lovely. 'cause our work was called play. We're going to play, you know, when you're a musician. Mm-hmm. Um, but I did, I felt that joy and then I felt like I was sharing that joy with other people and it was contagious.

Nice. It was really cool. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. Lifting people up. 

Carrie Rowan: Totally. Yes, totally. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Wow. And you're still, you're still performing too, right? 

Carrie Rowan: Um, what I do now is I've combined all my things together. So my book was like, okay, cool. The culmination of everything, right? Okay. So my book came, I launched it during the pandemic.

Not my plan, but I had no control over that. So I was like, you know what, I'm gonna continue on. This is apparently what the world needs to hear now. So it was a collection of all those stories I used [00:18:00] to tell between the songs. Mm-hmm. And people would always come up to me afterwards and be like, Hey, that story you told really moved me.

So I was like, I knew I was onto something with the stories. And that's when I started digging into the research on, on the story behind the story. And it was a way for me to put all of that together. So in my book, When you see a QR code in there, if I tell a story about something that happened in my life, oh, there's a little QR code.

This happens to be a meditation. There's five meditations in here as well. But I tell the story and then you can hear the song at that moment in the story. 

Penny Fitzgerald: What a great format for your book. 

Carrie Rowan: Thank you. So really connected to the listener. Yeah, the, the reader on such an emotional level, 

 So, um, but to answer your question about performing now, what I do now is I go on stages. So I'm also a keynote speaker and it, I bring everything, the art, the science, everything all together. I come on with my guitar, I get people singing with me.

So it's really an incredible way to engage the audience and allow what I'm talking about with their stories [00:19:00] to really sink in because it's multifaceted, right? You've got mm-hmm. The, um, all, all the senses are coming in, which is a, a better way to learn and, and to retain information. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. Yeah. So your, your keynote, 

 what's your basic, um, like flow or your, your topic? 

Carrie Rowan: If I'm doing like a big keynote where I'm on a stage in person, I. That's my, it's all about the structure of my, my storytelling, like my book.

Penny Fitzgerald: Okay. 

Carrie Rowan: So I have my five steps of how to release your negative stories and bring more joy to your life. Um, so I take 'em through the steps and I'm interspersing all of it with activities. It's very interactive and really getting people involved and starting to uncover some of their own stories. And I definitely bring my guitar for that.

Mm-hmm. And then sometimes I might do a seminar. You know, I've done seminars in a lot of different topics. Imposter syndrome. You know, believing what it takes to believe in yourself and all these cool things. Mm-hmm. Teaching people to meditate, busy people. Um, corporate people who don't have the time because meditation's also one of my jams, so I have got five meditations.

Same. Yeah. [00:20:00] Talk about that. You came on my show. It's so 

Penny Fitzgerald: important. It just really helps you focus and be present for people. 

Carrie Rowan: Totally I And for yourself. Exactly. It's one of the tools that really helps. So I teach people how to meditate and I've created a meditation for each of those five steps in my book.

Nice. You get the meditations too. And I love leading a group in meditation, especially because people don't expect that corporate people don't expect that they're gonna meditate. Meeting today. What she's gonna, what did she say? We're gonna meditate being in this meeting. All right. I'll try. 

Penny Fitzgerald: But I have to be vulnerable to do that.

Carrie Rowan: Exactly. A little tough at work. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So I love doing all that stuff. It, it really, um, it's joyful work for me. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. Yeah. Seeing others light up and seeing how you can be, be, how you can make an impact for them is just really rewarding. Mm. 

Carrie Rowan: It really is. There is no better work than [00:21:00] that.

It's, it's really not work. It's a life's mission. Right. It's, 

Penny Fitzgerald: yeah. 

Carrie Rowan: It's not just one, it's that mission to, um, like my dad said, 

Penny Fitzgerald: yeah, share your gift 

Carrie Rowan: when you get those gifts to share that and improve other people's lives through my experience. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Absolutely. 

Carrie Rowan: Because when they see that I can change my stories of all the stuff that happened to me, then it gives them permission to be like, Hey, wait, I can change my stories too.

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. And you being in front of them and being vulnerable, you know, that's really kind of leading the way and showing them that, hey, it's okay. You're not gonna be judged for being you. Exactly. You can't be anything. But anyway, so embrace it 

Carrie Rowan: and who Right. And who knows the topic better. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Right. Right. 

Carrie Rowan: Fear story.

Right, right. Like I, I love talking to people about that. In the imposter thing, it's like. A lot of people, you know, might wanna put, get on stage or put all their information or have a book or something, and all these trigger all those questionable things about ourselves. All [00:22:00] that voice gets just louder inside of our head.

Yeah. As we step outside of that comfort zone, right? Mm-hmm. So I love, you know, giving people those tips and tools and like, Hey, wait, you are telling your stories. Nobody knows those stories better than you do. Right? So there's no judgment there, you know? 

Penny Fitzgerald: Right. And you know, thinking about that a little bit, when I was younger, I remember.

Telling those stories to myself and not really understanding. I mean, some of my best friends knew me better than I did, you know, and they were able to bring out of me like, no, that's not you. That's not really you. You know? And then, you know, to kind of help you see new perspectives on, or retelling the story that you've been telling yourself when it's not correct.

Having someone who loves you or cares for you tell you a better story. Mm-hmm. That's really, um, powerful too. 

Carrie Rowan: Did you read my book Petty? Because I talk I haven't yet. I have to 

Penny Fitzgerald: apologize. I have not, 

Carrie Rowan: no, I'm [00:23:00] saying that to be funny because I talk about that a lot because a lot times. It's those people that can help us with our stories because we don't even realize, and you know, when you have so many point lovingly pointed out like, you know, Penny, you say that story an awful lot about yourself and it's really not true, and then they give you evidence why it's not true.

Mm-hmm. Or a lot of times what I find, I love the comeback story as you know, we talked about that at my Oh yeah. The turnaround story, right. The journey. Oh, everybody loves that story. Right? It's like the, the hero story. You gotta have a tumultuous something or other in there. Right? So, but everybody loves it.

But here's the thing, when you're stuck in the middle of that story, a lot of times you can't see the ending. Exactly. You don't realize, or you think that you have your worst story. Like a lot of clients will come to me and say that, oh, I, I can't share that story. It's just, oh, it's awful. Mm-hmm. Well, I get excited because I know that we're on the brink of a breakthrough because that most awful story.

It's usually where your [00:24:00] superpower lies, but sometimes you can't see it. But like you said, Penny, your friends can, they know that's your story of strength. So I love bouncing stories off of other people for sure. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah, absolutely. I. Yeah. Someone who loves you or a good therapist. 

Carrie Rowan: Absolutely. Or coach. Oh yeah.

They're gonna call you. A good coach is gonna call you on all those stories, aren't they? Yeah. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Just, just plant a little question in your mind and you know, is that really true? Let's, let's explore that a little bit. 

Carrie Rowan: Yeah. Right. I love that. Yeah. Yeah. I love that little series of questionings asking yourself if it is true, because usually it's not.

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. Right. 

Carrie Rowan: Most of those stories that we tell ourselves are absolutely not true. Yeah. So when we can start to get curious, right? Mm-hmm. Like put that curious hat on and start to ask Um hmm Is that really true? And look for actual facts in our life of what, why it's not true. And we, it [00:25:00] can really help us to rewrite that story easily.

Penny Fitzgerald: Mm-hmm. 

Carrie Rowan: You know, a story that makes us feel good. 'cause wouldn't that feel better to tell? 

Penny Fitzgerald: Oh yeah. Yeah. You know, speaking of stories, um, you also have a wonderful radio show. Tell us about that. 

Carrie Rowan: I do. it's called Look for the Good and um, it is the syndicated radio show slash podcast, and I love it because I am so honored that I get to interview amazing.

Women like yourself, and we talk about those stories, right? It's a conversation just like we're having here and look for the good is really designed because our brains are so just predisposed to look for what's wrong. 'cause it, they think mm-hmm. It's trying to keep us safe, right? 

Penny Fitzgerald: Mm-hmm. 

Carrie Rowan: So when we can start to rewire that and look for what's good and practice that instead of.

Automatically looking for what's wrong 'cause we're so good at that. Mm-hmm. Um, and really normalizing that for people because we [00:26:00] all do it 'cause we're all human and we're all wired the same way. So I love, um, just talking about those stories, you know, talking about those little morsels people come on and they share that story and they share how they've gotten to where they are.

Like you. I love your story, Penny. Really bringing those stories to life and finding out what goes on behind the scenes. What is the thing you used used to say? What do you say now? What can help other people to feel better about their stories? 

Penny Fitzgerald: Right, right. I had such a great time chatting with you for this, for the show.

It was amazing. Just a, a great conversation. And just, just to share, you know, our common interests and our common, um, views on life, really, you know, looking for the good is so important. 'cause we're, like you said, human nature is to look for the bad. And when you see it, you'll see more of it. When you look for good, you'll see more of that.

So why not choose? 

Carrie Rowan: Yeah. 

Penny Fitzgerald: To look for something positive. 

Carrie Rowan: I love that little summary [00:27:00] because here's the thing, you know, you want, I love the law of attraction, but we do. We get what we focus on. Exactly not the life we think that we're gonna live. We get the life that we focus on, not reality. We get the life that we focus on, which is such a big concept, and sometimes we don't even realize that we're focusing on what, what's wrong, like I said, because the brain does it so naturally you really have to make it a practice, right?

Yeah. You get what you focus on, whether you want it or not. that's what people, most people don't realize. Mm-hmm. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Um, 

Carrie Rowan: they think that they're shouting to the universe about what they want, but they're really shouting about what's wrong and why I don't have it.

Right. It's like two sides of the same step. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Right. 

Carrie Rowan: Then that's just, then the universe is just giving you more evidence for that, you know? And that's also the way our brain works. 

 I wanna notice all the things that are working in my life and what can I appreciate in my life. Well, lo and behold, it starts finding more of that for you too. 

Penny Fitzgerald: it's really hard in the beginning, you know, if someone's in the thick of it, if someone is really struggling or has not [00:28:00] really realized before that you get what you focus on, it's, it's hard to, it's a practice.

You have to, I think, really, reprogram yourself to start looking for good things and,

I was listening to, I think it was a Mel Robbins podcast where she was, um, talking to her daughters about looking for good things, looking for positive things. And she said, look, when you're out on your walk, look for things that are heart shaped. Hmm. 

Well, on my next walk, I saw all kinds of heart shapes. I looked down and there was this little piece of tile, you know, like tile from a kitchen. Mm-hmm. A kitchen floor. And it was a chip that had probably fallen off a truck on the side of the road and it was in the shape of a heart. It was just the weirdest thing, you know?

You'll see them everywhere in trees, in rocks and leaves and all the things. 

Carrie Rowan: when you put it into practice as something as little as that, right? Mm-hmm. Um, pick anything. It could even be something weird that you wouldn't normally see. [00:29:00] But you don't normally see a heart tile outside on the side. No. Now do that. So 

Penny Fitzgerald: random. 

Carrie Rowan: But yeah, you just put that intention out there, right? 'cause there's something powerful about that. Strong intention. The universe will help. Make it happen. But you've also have your brain, right? You've got that RAS system. Uh, I love the neuroscience. Yeah. I tend to keep that a little bit on it.

Penny Fitzgerald: I love it too. 

Carrie Rowan: Right? It's like, you know, it's like that hair, hair net they say like over your brain, and it's a filter. So if you tell it, look for all the beautiful heart rocks today, it's gonna start to look for that. Oh. Or if you're so frustrated, you don't even realize you're telling it how frustrated you are about this.

Mm-hmm. Or why does technology not ever work? Or give it whatever little. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Mm. Be careful with that one. Been there, but whatever 

Carrie Rowan: little thing you just unknowingly put out there, your brain is like uhhuh. Let's try to make that true for her. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah, let's [00:30:00] show her the proof. 

Carrie Rowan: Yeah, let's try to make the truth.

Let's try to find the proof. So, so we know that about the brain, so let's feed it some good stuff, right? Mm-hmm. Good in, good out. Let's give it some good things to think about. Computer. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Right? Right. This pliable, wonderful. Squishy computer. 

Carrie Rowan: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. It's a really cool, when you think about it like that, 'cause you really do have, I think, more control than most people think that you do.

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. Yeah. And that's kind of comforting. Um, yeah. Uh, uh, confessions of a true control freak.

Carrie Rowan: I hear you. It's, I mean, the day that I realized, and I talk about this in the book too, the day that I realized. That I was just spent so much time going over all the details of some of these things that happened in my life and why. Mm-hmm. Why, and the this and that and that shouldn't have happened and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Penny Fitzgerald: Mm-hmm. 

Carrie Rowan: Um, the day I realized [00:31:00] that was the day that I had freedom. Yeah. The day that I realized I didn't have to figure all that out. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. 

Carrie Rowan: Because there was nothing I could do to change that. But your mind wants to keep churning and turning and asking and the whys and the this and all those details. And the day I was able to stop that, I feel like, like I gained all my energy back and I realized the only thing that I could control was my mind, was what I thought about what happened.

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. 

Carrie Rowan: And that was a big day for me. That was a big turning point. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Absolutely. I'm in recovery. Yeah, I just, you know, looking at control, I, I feel like it's definitely a way that I've kept myself small and safe, because if I control all the things, if I map it all out, if I organize it to the point where it's just, you know, nothing could go wrong, oh, guess what?

There's things that go wrong no matter what. Mm-hmm. The more you know, the [00:32:00] more you try and control the outcome. The more attached you get to it and the less likely it becomes. You're just, you just let go. You've prepared. Not taking that step because you're so busy preparing further, you know, go out there and do it.

Go out there and do the thing. Go out and serve your people and you know, if you misstep. So, yeah, you're not gonna die from just, you know, making something not quite exactly perfect, and you're not gonna be perfect anyway. 

Carrie Rowan: I love that. Do the thing. Yeah. It's stepping outta that comfort zone. 'cause that's really where the growth happens, right?

It's like, yeah, when you can push up against that comfort zone, whatever it is. 'cause you know, everybody's got that, that longing. What's that thing in your heart? It's still sitting there that you didn't do. You know, when you look at all the studies they've done and the people who passed, um, they don't talk about, you know, the people who are on their deathbed knowing that they're going, they don't [00:33:00] talk about what they did do.

They don't talk about that. They talk about that one thing. Yep. They didn't do, and it was knocking on their door and knocking and they never did. They just never did it. Fear usually, right? Yep. It doesn't matter why, but that's the thing that will haunt you. So I love what you just said. Just do the thing. Just do it anyways.

Who cares? The day I decided I wanna put this all into a talk like.

Believe me, that's when all the voices got real loud. 

Penny Fitzgerald: I'm sure 

Carrie Rowan: who's gonna wanna hear you? Nobody wants to hear that. Nobody really cares. All those things that everybody says to them, to themselves. Mm-hmm. But you know what? I did it anyways. I got on that stage and I remember afterwards and the elation, just the fact that I just, I did it.

It didn't matter if it was perfect. This before I even had my book. I was kind of just trying out my five steps and, and the whole thing. I was just kind of putting it all together. In its infancy, but if I didn't take that step onto that stage and try it, [00:34:00] well then I might never have done it, but I was just him dancing off that stage afterwards just because the sheer fact that I did it.

And then people came up afterwards and they were like, and they had very specific things that they wanted to ask me about or that they were moved by that they never thought of. And it was like, it was just as much an aha for me as it was for them the first time I ever delivered that talk. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. That action brought clarity too, and direction probably from all these, the feedback you are getting is valuable.

Carrie Rowan: Totally. Totally nice. You gotta test it out. You gotta test it out. Yeah. In all of its imperfection, even to this day, every time we. Open up our Zoom and we decided we're gonna do our podcast and we're gonna step up. We don't know what's gonna happen. We, it's, you know mm-hmm. You bring another person on live.

But that's where the beauty lies in that. I, I love that. Mm-hmm. I love the imperfection that we all bring. I love the vulnerability that comes from, Hey, I'm afraid to do this, but you know what, I'm gonna try it anyways. I'm 

Penny Fitzgerald: gonna do it anyway. [00:35:00] Mm-hmm. I'm gonna do it anyway. Absolutely. 

Carrie Rowan: Because that darn brain of mine is gonna make me stand here and never do it if I let it.

Penny Fitzgerald: Right, right. Well, and because I am who I am, I like to have a, um, a cocktail handy as a reward. 

Carrie Rowan: Yeah. Well, today, you know what? I brought my tea with me today. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Oh, tea is good. 

Carrie Rowan: I brought my tea. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Nice. Well, and okay, at the end of every, um, episode, I love to ask my guests, what's your favorite cocktail or glass of wine?

Yeah. Do you have a favorite? 

Carrie Rowan: I do. I love French rose wine. Oh. Any kind of 

Penny Fitzgerald: Mm. 

Carrie Rowan: Uh, I love, that's my favorite. Nice and chilled. Mm-hmm. It's funny 'cause I used to love Chardonnay for years. I was the Chardonnay girl. I loved the organic Chardonnay. I love the California Chardonnays, but I was the Chardonnay girl and then I got, I started going towards the Roses and [00:36:00] I love, well, you know, I just like the French ones because they're just so pure.

 It's simple, it's dry, and it's really refreshing. It's lovely in the summertime too. Yeah. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Great By itself and also goes really well with a lot of different foods and I think the, the best pairing with Rose is, uh, girlfriends and conversation.

Carrie Rowan: I love that. 

Do you have a favorite memory with, with girlfriends over a nice glass of rose or any, any memory with girlfriends? What, what do you remember? 

Ooh, I love that.

Um, you know, I feel like it's, it's in the simple moments, right? Like 

Penny Fitzgerald: mm-hmm. 

Carrie Rowan: I have a friend of mine and, um, we do sometimes we've created our own little like, kind of art and sipping thing that we do together because I love anything that promotes creativity. She'll have us over. And I remember one time, um, my oldest daughter came with me 'cause she likes to be creative too.

And we just sat and we painted. I'm not a painter, I, trust me, I can [00:37:00] barely do a stick man. But just, I was doing what I do, just some flowers and some hearts andwe had our rose and it was just in that beautiful moment of creativity and laughing and just doing something really cool that didn't matter about the outcome.

It was just joy in the moment. Mm-hmm. And that sticks to mind. I love that. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. Absolutely. And that's, we, we always wanna be productive. We wanna be, you know, there's gotta be something at the end of this. No, just enjoy the moment. Have fun with your girls. 

Carrie Rowan: I love that. Yeah, I love that. Well, you and I need to get together for some wine because I'm sure, you know, I 

Penny Fitzgerald: would love that wealth 

Carrie Rowan: of information on the wines.

Penny Fitzgerald: Well, we, we could have some fun sipping together, I think. For sure. Yes,

 Well, Carrie, where can people find you? 

Carrie Rowan: They can find me@carrierowan.com. C-A-R-R-I-E-R-O-W-A n.com. you can find all my podcasts [00:38:00] there.

You can find out about my speaking engagements. You can find out how to coach with me one-on-one or about my class. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Fun. I'll, I'll put that information in my show notes too for you. And is there anything I haven't asked you that you'd love to share? I. 

Carrie Rowan: I would say just find one little, something you can tell yourself on a daily basis. I love asking people, as you know, on my show what their little personal mantra is, and I'll share mine. So the one little thing that's always in the background of my mind, especially what if I feel if, if I'm in some sort of quandary with something is, oh, wait a minute.

Things are always working out for me, right? But sometimes we forget. put it in writing and put it around your house. Put it up on your mirror on a little sticky note in your bathroom.

Put it on the door on the way out to where you go to get into your car, because we all need reminders. just say it to yourself and it starts to become a little habit. Mm-hmm. Now you've got least one good story that's on the auto, auto repeat for yourself.

Penny Fitzgerald: I shared on your podcast or on your show, Carrie, that my [00:39:00] mom's mantra, or what she used to say a lot anyway was, um, strangers are just friends you haven't met yet. And that's, I think, so fun to think about and, um, I kind of tend to follow that a bit. Um, and love meeting new friends.

I love that. And of course another mantra is so much wine, so little time.

Carrie Rowan: I love that one. That's gotta be on your website for sure. It's been, 

Penny Fitzgerald: it's been my tagline for many, many years. 

Carrie Rowan: I love that. That's awesome. What a beautiful mantra. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Oh, thank you. It's been so fun talking with you, Carrie. I really appreciate it. And I love that I've met a new friend with you. 

Carrie Rowan: Yes, you too, Penny.

I love it. 

Thank you so much for having me. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Thank you. Have a wonderful rest of your day.

Carrie Rowan: Thank you. You too. 

Penny Fitzgerald: [00:40:00]