Control-Alt-Delete Self-Doubt: A Real Confidence Reset

What if the voice telling you to play small… isn’t telling the truth?

In this episode, Penny sits down with keynote speaker, author, and confidence coach Simone Knego to talk about the stories women tell themselves—and how those stories shape everything from leadership to self-worth.

Simone shares her REAL Confidence Method and a simple mindset reset that helps interrupt the spiral of self-doubt when it shows up (because it always does).

From redefining leadership around the kitchen table to dropping the word “just,” this conversation is full of honest reflections, laughter, and practical mindset tools women can use right away.

Because confidence isn’t something you’re born with.
It’s something you build.

In this episode:

   • Why women often underestimate their leadership
   • Simone’s REAL Confidence framework
   • Why failure is data—not identity
   • The moment her daughter gave her a powerful wake-up call
   • How climbing Kilimanjaro changed how she saw herself

Key Topics:

   • Confidence and mindset
   • Kitchen table leadership
   • Women and self-worth
   • Rewriting your internal dialogue
   • Self-respect and boundaries
   • Why self-care isn’t selfish

Simone's Book, Real Confidence: https://realconfidencebook.com/

Learn more and connect with Simone: https://simoneknego.com/

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Transcript

Control-Alt-Delete Self-Doubt: A Real Confidence Reset

Penny Fitzgerald: Today I am chatting with Simone Knego about confidence leadership and the stories we tell ourselves that quietly keep us playing small. She shares her real confidence method, REAL, and a simple mindset reset you can use the next time that little voice in your head starts whispering.

Who do you think you are? We talk about kitchen table leadership. Dropping the word just and why confidence isn't something you're born [00:01:00] with, it's something you build and stay all the way to the end because we discover a very fun little plot twist. We both live in Sarasota, so yes, a real life wine date may or may not be happening.

Just kidding. You know what's gonna happen here is Simone Knego.

 I am so curious about who you are and what you do. Would you mind giving us your name and, and a little bit about you? 

Simone Knego: Absolutely. Uh, Simone Knego and I am a keynote speaker, author, coach, and podcast host. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Nice. What's the name of your podcast?

Simone Knego: So, I co-host with my 22-year-old daughter. It's called Her Unshakeable Confidence. My whole brand is about helping women build, uh, confidence from the inside out. And so we started this podcast about two years ago and it's really been a blast. 

Penny Fitzgerald: That's exciting. Whose idea was it to start the podcast?

Simone Knego: Probably mine. Yeah. I mean we were, we have like these really fun [00:02:00] conversations and at one point we said, you know. Why don't we start recording them? And so first we started with Instagram Live and then, then we said, let's, let's make it official. And so 

Penny Fitzgerald: Uhhuh, 

Simone Knego: we ended up making it a full blown podcast and it's done nice.

It's done well. So we're gonna keep going. 

Penny Fitzgerald: That's exciting. 

Simone Knego: And she's in law school, so, 

Penny Fitzgerald: oh. 

Simone Knego: You know, it's hard. We have to work around her schedule a little bit, but we make it happen. 

Penny Fitzgerald: So what do you, what topics do you cover and how do you approach it? 

Simone Knego: So there's two really main topics. I talk about women's leadership, redefining leadership, because I believe in kitchen table leadership.

The idea that we don't need a title, we don't need the the boardroom, not not the corner office. It's the things we do every single day. The behind the scenes, the messy moments. And so much of that starts around the kitchen table, hence kitchen table leadership. So that, that is one thing I talk about. And the second thing is probably my bigger focus, which is confidence.

[00:03:00] So real confidence. And I have a book actually coming out in February called Real Confidence, A Simple Guide to Go From Un Unsure to Unshakeable. And it's all based on my real method, which is respect yourself, embrace your failures, ask yourself what you want, and live without limits. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Oh, that's great.

Helps simplify it a bit. And the kitchen table reference, don't you feel that women, we don't give ourselves enough credit. 

Simone Knego: Oh 

Penny Fitzgerald: my gosh. Gosh. I mean, we've been Yeah. Preaching to the choir. Choir, right? Yeah. We, we've been leading a household, we've been doing all the things, keeping everything organized. These are all skills that are used in boardrooms as well.

Simone Knego: Absolutely. Absolutely. And you know, that was me for the longest time thinking that I wasn't, I. Doing enough. I wasn't. It wasn't enough. Right. I wasn't doing the things in the world to really make a difference. And it's like I have six children, so right there, you know, that should be enough. Um, yeah. [00:04:00] But yeah, I didn't have that mindset of I thought, oh, everybody else is really confident, or everybody else really has it together.

And, uh, it's not true at all. We all struggle. We all have to work on our confidence. Confidence is a skill and we need to build it. It's not something that you're born with or you're not. It's like any other skill, right? You don't, you don't go to the gym one day and all of a sudden become buff. You don't go, you don't take one Spanish lesson and all of a sudden become fluent.

Right? It's, mm-hmm. Are you have to work on things and same thing with our mindset. We have to work on it. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. Yeah. And it's a little bit d different, I think for women too, because we. Have seen all the images, we've grown up with the Disney princesses and done all of the yes. You know, all the messaging that we get from little on is not really that, oh, you're born for the boardroom, or you're destined to do all of these things in leadership roles.

And you know, we are in leadership roles. We just don't realize it. 

Simone Knego: Yeah. Nobody's ever called it leadership, so we've never thought about it like that, which, 

Penny Fitzgerald: [00:05:00] mm-hmm. 

Simone Knego: It's leadership ladies, like everything that you're doing every single day, those are leadership decisions, right? If you stop making those decisions, the world would stop, actually.

Like things would not happen if you stopped making decisions. So that's why we need to focus on the fact that it is leadership. 

Penny Fitzgerald: That's so true. Yeah. Everybody has a mother. 

Simone Knego: Hmm. It is so true, right? 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. 

Simone Knego: Yeah. We are necessary. 

Penny Fitzgerald: so tell, tell us a little bit more about your method, your methodology, your real system.

Simone Knego: Yeah, so I started with respect yourself because first of all, I love the word real, uh, but also because. As a child, I remember being taught to respect my elders, my peers, but never once do I remember being taught that the most important person to respect was myself. Mm Wow. Uhhuh. The idea of setting boundaries, being able to say no without feeling guilty, taking care of yourself.

All of these things are really [00:06:00] built on self-respect, but we're so focused on, oh, you have to. Be good to that person. No, you have to be good to yourself too. Mm-hmm. And we just don't talk about it like that. And so that's where the self-respect piece started. Then embrace your failures, because I used to look at failures as a stop sign, right?

Like, oh my gosh, you failed. Therefore you're a failure and it doesn't work that way. Right? A failing at something is a moment in time, and it really is about. What did you learn from it instead of, oh gosh, I'll never move forward again. And there's, if you look at some of the most successful people out there, depending on how you define success, but you, they failed many, many times.

And the difference is they get back up again. They say, what did I learn from that? Okay, what could I do differently? And let me keep going instead of worrying about what everybody else is thinking. 

Penny Fitzgerald: It's just data, right? The 

Simone Knego: Yeah, it is, 

Penny Fitzgerald: it's an act. It's not you, it's not a statement on you. 

Simone Knego: Yeah. And, but we [00:07:00] so often see it as that, you know, we, oh, we're a failure.

Penny Fitzgerald: I'm a failure. Yeah. Instead of that particular one thing that just happened. 

Simone Knego: Yeah. I mean, that just didn't work. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Right. 

Simone Knego: End of story. And, but we're so hard on ourselves. Like we started off with that. We just don't see it that way. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. 

Simone Knego: Um, then the next part, uh, ask yourself what you want. I think especially for women, this is a very hard one.

We've done so much for. Everyone else for so long that a lot of us have lost ourselves. Right? We 

Penny Fitzgerald: forget. 

Simone Knego: Yeah, 

Penny Fitzgerald: exactly. 

Simone Knego: What did we want way back then, right? Mm-hmm. When I was a kid, I wanted to be an actress and okay, now they say actor, but I, you know, I didn't do it. I actually went into, I was going to be a doctor, like my parents.

Took organic chemistry. I failed it. I took it again, got a D, and that was basically the end of medical school for me. Didn't even get through the door. And I went into accounting because my dad was like, you're really good at [00:08:00] math. You're not gonna make money as an actor, go into accounting. Oh geez. So I did accounting and I lasted for a very short period of time.

Penny Fitzgerald: Uhhuh 

Simone Knego: as I did not love it, and I changed my mind many, many times until I really sat back and said, what do you want? Like, what do you like? Obviously I love raising my kids, but there was more for me. I wanted more and I. What I realized is that I love storytelling and so mm-hmm. Being able to write, being able to get up on stage, having a podcast, it's almost like being an actress, right?

So like mm-hmm. Bringing it back to that. And so, but so often women will be like, oh, I have no idea what I want. And because we are doing so much for everyone else, so it's time to take a step back and say that that kid that wanted to be. An actor or an astronaut or whatever, that kid is still in you, right?

Yeah. So take a step back and say, okay, what are the things I'm good at? What are the things that I would really like to do? I don't mean go [00:09:00] quit your job tomorrow. I mean, figure out the things that you really enjoy and start implementing them in your life. I mean, there's lots of volunteer roles you can do.

You know, any kind of self care, any kind of sports, and you know, art. Like there's so many things that we could be doing. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Tip your toe back into some of those things that used to bring you joy that maybe you've just put on the back burner 'cause you've been putting one foot in front of the other, raising your family, doing all the things.

Simone Knego: Yeah. And then the last part is live without limits. We, we limit ourselves from the second we wake up until the second we go to bed. And I used to, the way I would describe myself. When there was a period of time where I was a stay at home mom, I would say, oh, I'm just a stay at home mom. I'm just a volunteer.

I'm just Rob's wife really justifying my existence. And it's interesting, the more I listen to other women, the more I'm really focused on that word. I hear it all the time. And drop the just Right. [00:10:00] Just drop the, just 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yes, 

Simone Knego: because 

Penny Fitzgerald: please, 

Simone Knego: let's, let's own who we are instead of focusing on what everybody else is doing.

Penny Fitzgerald: Right. Right. And it's, it's valuable. You, we've gotta quit. We've got to start owning up to our brilliance. Mm. You know, there is brilliance when, when we talk about our girlfriends, we talk how beautiful, how amazing, how inspiring, how strong, how supportive, how brilliant they are. But when we talk to ourselves, it's so not that.

It's, we cut ourselves down. We would never allow someone to cut our girlfriend down. 

Simone Knego: Yeah. 

Penny Fitzgerald: So why do we allow it for us? 

Simone Knego: Talk to yourself like you would your best friend. Right? I mean, yes, there, there are, and I, I mean, I am was very guilty of this and even to the point where one day my daughter, who I have the podcast with now, when she was.

13 or 15 in that age range. [00:11:00] She walked in and I was just being mean to myself in the mirror. I was getting ready for an event, wasn't fitting into my clothes, just really saying mean things to myself. And she walked in. She said, first of all, you're beautiful. Second of all, you need to stop. You're giving me a complex, oh, how do you expect me to love my body when you don't even like your own?

Wow. And that was such a wake up moment because. I didn't realize how much it was impacting other people. I don't even think I realized how much it was impacting myself. Right. We just, right. Were so used to saying negative things to ourselves all the time. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Mm-hmm. 

Simone Knego: And that was just a big eyeopening moment for me to say, what am I doing?

Because it is affecting. The people around me. And that actually goes back to the self-respect piece. Like you hear a lot of times people say, oh, I'm gonna demand respect. Right? I'm gonna demand respect. Well, it's about demonstrating it because you need to demonstrate it to yourself so that people understand how to treat [00:12:00] you right.

That you're not gonna be run over, that you're not gonna do everybody else's work. 'cause they just don't feel like it. And so that idea of. Being in control of that situation by, you know, setting those boundaries. 

Mm-hmm. 

Simone Knego: Not treating ourselves. We need to treat ourselves like we treat our best friend instead of treating ourselves like our worst enemy.

Which we probably wouldn't even treat our worst enemy like that. 

Penny Fitzgerald: No, exactly. Yeah. Um, my gosh, I had a thought note, just went right outta my head. It'll come back. It'll come back. Um, so tell me about your keynotes. 

Simone Knego: So I, I typically speak, um, like for my confidence one, um, I tell a, one of the stories I tell is about.

Climbing Kilimanjaro. So in 2015, I climbed Kilimanjaro. That was actually the big turning point in my life in terms of my mindset. So [00:13:00] I really struggled with self-doubt before that, and I was asked to climb it by a friend. He had climbed it the year before. I am not a climber, so when you hear this, it's, I am not a climber.

I live in Florida. I have 16 steps in my house. I've gone camping a few times. Uh, this was completely out of my comfort zone, but I really needed that. I needed to get out of my own way. And not that I could have done something different. It didn't have to be climbing a mountain, but that was just kind of the opportunity that presented itself.

Mm-hmm. And I said yes, and it was really life changing for me. So obviously I talk about that in my confidence keynote because it was such a turning point. For me, and really it was really about changing the way I saw myself, because I'm a big believer in that we don't need to change who we are. We need to change the way we see ourselves.

Penny Fitzgerald: Mm-hmm. 

Simone Knego: Because we're all capable of doing amazing things. We have to want to do them, first of all, and then we have to give ourselves [00:14:00] credit to say like, oh yes, I can do this. So it was funny after I climbed Kilimanjaro. Um, I had, I was speaking to a few women and they said, oh, I could never do that. I said, well, would you want to?

No. I said, okay, well then use that word instead. I wouldn't want to, instead of, yeah, I could never, because the more you say negative things about what you're capable of, that's what you believe. That's what your brain is used to saying. And so it's really about flipping that script. And so, um, that, that, I, I love.

Telling that story, but also I tell, I talk about, um, one of the funny things about that experience was one of my friends suggested that I should, uh, get something called a shewe for me to bring on this trip. Um, 

Penny Fitzgerald: Shewe, 

Simone Knego: it's a, it's a P funnel, so basically, so you can pee standing up. And 

Penny Fitzgerald: oh my God, 

Simone Knego: it was, um, that was also life changing because it's so cold and you would have to take all your layers [00:15:00] off and I'm like, oh, oh my 

Penny Fitzgerald: God, 

Simone Knego: I don't have to take all my layers off.

So, uh, yeah, I I joke that like the other women on the trip were jealous of it, won't even asked to borrow, which is true. I was like, no, no, no. I, I love sharing. I'm so 

Penny Fitzgerald: sorry. 

Simone Knego: Yeah, the boundaries. Boundaries. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah, 

Simone Knego: exactly. 

Penny Fitzgerald: So, 

Simone Knego: yeah. Um, but yeah, so I mean, my, my keynotes are really more about. Inspiration, motivation, some good humor, and you know, really having women take a deep look and say, oh, why am I worried about what anybody else is doing?

Right. Yeah. Why am I comparing myself to the person over there and. You know, my husband used to say to me, you're worried about someone else. They're not even thinking about you. Right. Like, not in a negative way, but like we're so caught up in, oh my gosh, what will this person think? 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. 

Simone Knego: And they're not thinking about us.

So, 

Penny Fitzgerald: exactly. 

Simone Knego: It's reframing that whole piece of saying, what am I worried about here? 

Penny Fitzgerald: Right. Right. You know, and the ones that do give you flack, the trolls. 

Simone Knego: Yeah. 

Penny Fitzgerald: They're not doing anything [00:16:00] and they're just, they're jealous of the things that you're doing. 

Simone Knego: Yeah. 

Penny Fitzgerald: And we, we knock ourselves down so much for all that stuff.

Worry about it for nothing. 

Simone Knego: Yeah. What I've realized is, and I actually go back to this in terms of when my kids, when there was like a bully mm-hmm. Bullying my kids. And I always told my kids, it's not about you, it's about them. It's something that they're struggling with. And the same thing when someone can, can't see themselves in the accomplishments that you have, that's usually when they become, become negative.

So I've had people when, when I was climbing kilman, do you really think you're gonna make it to the top? 

Penny Fitzgerald: Oh, 

Simone Knego: no, I think I'm gonna make it halfway. That's why I'm doing it. Thank you for your support. Right, 

Penny Fitzgerald: right. 

Simone Knego: And so, but what I've learned is that so often it's because the other person can't see themselves doing it.

So why should you be able to do it? Mm-hmm. And so you have to look at it that way and just say, this does not affect my life. Right, right, right. I'm gonna keep going, keep going, keep moving forward. 

Penny Fitzgerald: That opinion is none of my [00:17:00] business. 

Simone Knego: Right. Yeah. Nobody's opinion is my business and 

Penny Fitzgerald: Right. 

Simone Knego: You know, and North Sure.

Even 

Penny Fitzgerald: my own sometimes. 

Simone Knego: Yeah. You 

Penny Fitzgerald: know, and we don't, yeah. We don't know what we're capable of because we don't push ourselves. Mm. You know, quite often, um, unless we try something new like that, like. You know, this, your friend that gave you the suggestion or invited you along, you know, if he hadn't have said that, would you have thought of it as a, as a thing?

No. Yeah, 

Simone Knego: no. 'cause it was not a bucket list item. It was, 

Penny Fitzgerald: right? 

Simone Knego: Yeah. I never would've thought about it, actually. I mean, but it was so life changing for me. And I think that too, is that, yeah. Inviting someone along, you know, telling somebody something new. Mm-hmm. And. Believing in them, you know? Yeah. Sometimes people need to borrow your belief, right?

So, 

Penny Fitzgerald: oh, for sure. Yeah. 

Simone Knego: You know, and I think that is also so important, but yeah, it's, it's always interesting when you hear other people's reactions to things and you know, when, so we have six [00:18:00] kids and mm-hmm. The idea of, I think that I wanted one. My husband wanted a big family. And then once we had one, my husband said, I think we're good.

Like, this is a lot of work. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Oh. 

Simone Knego: And then I said, oh, we're gonna keep going. Um, but we, we adopted our youngest three. And a lot of people couldn't understand that either, because they would say, well, you can have more biological children. Why would you, why would you choose this? And again, they couldn't see themselves in this situation.

And so that's what I always say to the kids too, like. Don't worry about what anybody else is thinking. If they're thinking about you, it still doesn't matter. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. That's such a personal decision too. And to ask that question is a 

Simone Knego: Yeah. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Little out of the boundary there. 

Simone Knego: Yeah, for 

Penny Fitzgerald: sure. I feel, I mean, 

Simone Knego: yeah, I mean I, I definitely was kind of surprised and it didn't just happen once, it was multiple times where people were like, I don't get it.

I really don't get it. And actually one of our friends that said that [00:19:00] she, when we. When we adopted our son, Noah from South Korea, we got a picture of him. And of course my husband was like showing it to everybody. And yeah. Then all of a sudden she said, I get it. I get it. She goes, I didn't get it before, but I get it.

Like, so the picture of of Noah was, he's in this like beautiful white gown and he's got a number and like that was his identification was the number, you know? Oh, wow. And so that was kind of eyeopening for. And I think majority of the people that know us that they, you know, really changed how they thought about building a family.

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. Well, yeah. And a lot of that is, um, I think out of good intention. Our friends want the best for us and, but just because they can't see it for themselves, then they put that on others, you know, they don't, they want the best for you. And they think that, well, the best for me is also the best for her.

Simone Knego: You know? Yeah. 

Penny Fitzgerald: I mean, [00:20:00] it's kind of a self-centered and unaware. Attitude. But it, it comes from good intentions, I feel like most of the time. 

Simone Knego: Uh, absolutely. And I would say that, you know, that's how kind of approached everything when it comes to, especially the younger kids, when someone has a question, I, I treat it as like a learning experience for the other person instead of being defensive.

'cause you sometimes things come outta people's mouths and you're like. Do they really just say that? 

Penny Fitzgerald: Exactly. 

Simone Knego: And so we've had a lot of weird questions like, um, you know, I, I don't, I don't understand your family, or, um, actually one time I was with my youngest daughter, it was. Pretty soon after we had brought her home.

So she's from Ethiopia and she was two and a half when we adopted her. And she was sitting in the cart. We were at the grocery store and I was at the bakery and a woman came up and she said, can I ask you a question? I said, yeah, sure. She goes, how much did you pay for her? [00:21:00] And I was like, 

Penny Fitzgerald: oof. 

Simone Knego: Okay. A stranger.

Do I like? I'm like, 

How do I approach this? And I said, you know what? This is, this is a learning experience. I said, well, well, first of all, you don't pay for children. And second of all, um, can I ask you why you asked that? And she said, oh my gosh, I didn't mean to offend you.

I. My daughter hasn't been able to get pregnant and she wants to adopt, and I just wanted to see if it's something that I could financially help her with or not. And I, so I gave her a little education on the right way to ask questions like that, so it's not offensive 'cause it was really offensive and.

You know, of course at the end she, who knows what she did with the information, 

Yeah, so, you know, I mean, and again, we've had a lot of people ask questions and so I feel that that's part of my role is to kind of help people. See the world a little differently instead of 

Penny Fitzgerald: mm-hmm. 

Simone Knego: Just being like, oh my gosh, why would you ask that? Right. It's more of like, yeah, how can I, how can I help you?

Like, what, what do you need? [00:22:00] What do you need? 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. Apparently that's part of your role. 

Simone Knego: Well, I wouldn't have guessed that was, it was gonna be like that, but you know. That's okay. I mean, 

Penny Fitzgerald: yeah, 

Simone Knego: I, at one point I was a teacher, so I might as well, you know, use, use those skills. 

Penny Fitzgerald: There you go. I mean, it, it's all in all, going back to past experiences and all of the things that you carry with you, they come in handy.

You know, you can use those to help others to support. Hu other humans. 

Simone Knego: Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. 

Penny Fitzgerald: E even when they don't deserve it. 

Simone Knego: Yeah. We, one of the other things that we, um, did was I, when I was, when I was teaching one of my students who she was really sweet, she. Stop coming to school. She was gone for probably 10 days.

And so I asked the principal, uh, you know, is there something wrong? Did something happen? She said, well, actually I was, I was gonna come talk to you today. We got a call that her parents had been arrested and she's living in a [00:23:00] teen shelter. She was 10 years old. She, oh, no. So I. I called my husband 'cause we had, it was not too long after we had adopted our youngest daughter and we still had our home study in place.

And I said, what do you think? And he said, yeah, absolutely. Mm-hmm. And so they, the social worker, you know, went through a few things with us, but um, basically brought her over to the house with her cardboard box and her whole life inside of her cardboard box. Yeah. And there was definitely a sigh of relief when she saw me because she didn't know where they were taking her.

They didn't tell her. Oh, and 

Penny Fitzgerald: she knew you from school. 

Simone Knego: Yeah, I was her teacher. So 

Penny Fitzgerald: you were Oh, right. 

Simone Knego: So I, wow. Yeah, and you know, that was a really. Hard experience across the board. She was with us for nine months. Um, you know, she would sleep with the light on at first, always keep her stuff packed, ready to go, oh, um, you know, uh, bathe in a bathing suit, [00:24:00] like things that you just wouldn't think about.

 it was such an interesting, you know, we look to other places to think, oh, like.

That kind of stuff doesn't happen here. Well, you know, it's, it happens in our own backyard every single day. There are tons of kids on free and reduced lunch, tons of kids that really struggle. But a lot of times we don't, we don't recognize it and mm-hmm. And then for my, my kids to see that, I think that was a really big growth opportunity to, you know, say, okay, how can we help with other things?

We, we don't need to be so focused on ourselves. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. Boy, the behaviors she showed. She'd been through some things. 

Simone Knego: Oh, she had been through some things. 

Penny Fitzgerald: how old would she be now? 

Simone Knego: She is probably 22 now.

yeah, I still like, we're Facebook friends. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Okay. You, 

Simone Knego: you 

Penny Fitzgerald: know that she's okay. 

Simone Knego: Yeah. She's okay. Yeah. She looks. Beautiful and all grown up and you know, I mean, I don't know what happened in between here and there.

I did when, when it was time for her to go, I just gave her the, [00:25:00] the talk about, about the value that she has and, you know, oh, 

Penny Fitzgerald: good. 

Simone Knego: You know, really protecting herself from things and you know it, who knows what happened with it, but you can only do your best. Right. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. Things she may not have ever heard before?

Simone Knego: Probably not. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Wow. Um, so what did you teach? What did you, was it little or? 

Simone Knego: Yeah. Uh, fourth grade. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Fourth grade, 

Simone Knego: okay. Yeah, fourth grade. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Wow. nine and 10 year olds. 

Simone Knego: Yeah. Um, and they were all super cute.

The hard part was that because I had six kids, I. I tended to spend more on babysitting than I was actually making, and I was like, okay, this is not working out so well financially. Yeah. So, um, and then I, you know, again, I changed my mind multiple times of the things I wanted to do, 

Penny Fitzgerald: Uhhuh, 

Simone Knego: and then I'm here where I am now because this is what I love to do.

Penny Fitzgerald: Well, and that's a, it's a good thing. It leads us to our true path, but at the same time [00:26:00] I'm thinking, wow, I would really love that if we paid our teachers what they're worth. 

Simone Knego: Oh my gosh. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how that change will ever happen, but it's, yeah, I mean, it's so true. I, you know, we look at other professions and, you know, there's so much that happens in teaching.

I mean, there you're. It's the whole trajectory of your child's life 

Penny Fitzgerald: mm-hmm. 

Simone Knego: Is so much of it is formed by the teachers that they have. Yep. And you know, they deserve a bit more. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. As many hours as they spend a day in school and you know, all of the things that you're teaching them. You know, not just the academics, but the 

Simone Knego: life 

Penny Fitzgerald: skills.

The life lessons. Life skills, yes. 

Simone Knego: Yeah. It's so true. It's, it's really unbelievable. But you know. 

Penny Fitzgerald: I just, I really admire teachers. I have several in my family and just really, Hmm. Appreciate [00:27:00] all the work that you guys do along, you know, caring for our kids. 

Simone Knego: Yeah, I would say that, that for me, with my kids, it was such a huge thing.

I, I would always go in and say, you know, when you, you have your teacher conferences and you hear a lot of parents, it would be like. You know, my child is perfect. I don't know why they did bad on this test and blah, blah, blah. And I would go in and say, I'm apologizing ahead of time. This, this probably won't be your easiest year.

I said, but anytime you need anything, call me. You know? And now they're all grown up, so I'm almost an empty nester. Last one isn't a senior in high school, so. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Oh wow. 

Simone Knego: Yeah, I know. It's crazy to think that it's been. 30 years of having kids in the house straight and then nobody will be here next year. 

Penny Fitzgerald: That is a big transition.

Yeah. 

Simone Knego: Yeah, and I think that's really why I started working. Earlier because I really wanted to have something. Mm-hmm. Once they were gone, I didn't wanna have that feeling. I have a lot of friends that they're like, oh my gosh, I don't know what [00:28:00] to do with my life now. Right. Uhhuh, this is what I've done for so long, and so I would say that two of them, I'm like, okay, you might be frustrated that I'm not home right now, that I'm traveling or I'm working, but.

Eventually you are going to be completely out of the house and I need something for myself too. And that's not selfish. 

Penny Fitzgerald: No, no. We have to be well-rounded individuals. Yeah. The more, the more we take care of ourselves, the more we can take care of others too. 

Simone Knego: And the more our kids see how important self-care is.

Right. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Exactly. We want that for them. We want them to feel like a whole individual. Mm-hmm. Like a really, you know, well adjusted, happy human. 

Simone Knego: Yeah, it's absolutely true. And. I think that showing your kids self care is so important. I even going back to Kilimanjaro, I remember doing a podcast with a woman after I got back from Kilimanjaro and she said, um, don't you think it's really selfish that you took that much time away from your family to climb a mountain?

And I said, not at all. Oh, wow. Self [00:29:00] care is never selfish. I said, and what a, what a better example. Like what a great example for, for my kids to see. Not like talking myself up, but that when you. Set a goal and you put in the work that you can accomplish it and mm-hmm. You know, they were super proud of it.

They weren't like, oh my gosh, mom's gone this week. But one of the funniest, climbing a mountain again. Yeah. Climbing a mountain. Uh, one of the funniest things that happened was how much credit my, my husband got, which we've been married for 32 years, and I give him a lot of credit, like he's put up with me for 32 years.

But the, when I told people, oh, I'm gonna. Do this. They're like, oh my gosh, your husband is so amazing. He's gonna stay home with your kids. And what? And I was like, they're his kids too, right? Like, 

Penny Fitzgerald: oh, I don't get that attitude. 

Simone Knego: And nobody ever says that to me on a, you know, oh my gosh, you're so amazing. You do all these things for your kids.

He does. He absolutely says those things, Uhhuh. But, um, you know, other people don't ever come up to me and say, oh my gosh, your husband [00:30:00] is so lucky that you do all these things all the time. No, they don't do that. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. Yep. 

Simone Knego: It's, yeah, 

Penny Fitzgerald: I hear that too. Uh, yeah. You're so lucky that my husband cooks and does, you know, a lot of things.

Mm-hmm. Like, yeah. I am lucky and so is he. 

Simone Knego: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I, I would say with my husband, he still, so he's a, he's a surgeon and when he comes home, he. Always does the dishes. Like I cook, he does the dishes. That's just been, you know, obviously when we had more kids at home, then everybody else would contribute to now our daughter, like she works a lot, so she's not home a lot at night.

Um, but it's so funny because if I would tell my other friends that, wait, he he'll do the dishes too. I'm like, yeah, he actually just gets up and does 'em. Like I don't even, I'm not gonna say, oh, I'll do it. He's already doing 'em. Right. Yeah. I was, maybe, maybe 'cause I like. Messier than he is, that he does it.

He's like, oh, let me just do it and get it over with, get it away from her. I don't know, but I appreciate it. [00:31:00]

Penny Fitzgerald: Yes, for sure. Me too. But yeah, it's not, it's not over and above and be well. You know, for some families I guess it is, but 

Simone Knego: Yeah, 

Penny Fitzgerald: but it's just, you know, you, you split the duties, you split the things that have to be done, and you're a team, so why wouldn't it be normal for everyone to pitch in?

Simone Knego: Yeah. I was at this event this morning and this woman said, oh, 'cause it was supposed to be an evening event, and they moved it to the morning. She said, oh. I think it's so much better that it's in the morning because then I don't hear, you know, I think our husbands like us to be home and they, you know, if it's during the day, it's fine, but at night they're like, well, why am I not invited too?

And I was like, what? No, my husband does not care about that. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Wow. 

Simone Knego: I know. I thought that was kind of a weird one too. But yeah, again, mindset. That is so important. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Everybody gets stuck in their ways and they do things the way they want, and they think that's the way everybody else is.

Simone Knego: Yeah. Yeah. For sure. [00:32:00]

Penny Fitzgerald: Boy, thank God we're not, 

Simone Knego: I know. No, I like doing my thing. I'm like, you know, I'm happy with all of the different things that I do. Not that life isn't challenging. I mean, it's challenging for everybody, right? Of course. Mm-hmm. Um, sometimes we. Think of things that and make them worse.

Penny Fitzgerald: It was just weird the way she said it. I know. 

Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Oh my gosh. Well, so what have I not asked you that you want, would love to share with my people? 

Simone Knego: Hmm.

I'll give you a little, so talking about mindset. Mindset, um, 

Penny Fitzgerald: yeah. 

Simone Knego: A little hack that I use when I'm struggling. So 

Penny Fitzgerald: yes. 

Simone Knego: You know, we all have that, that voice in our head that tells us that we can't or that we're not good enough. I call it the what if whisperer, and I've named her Sally. Sally Fine, because she's freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional.

That's what fine stands for. And, but [00:33:00] I. You know, when I have those thoughts that come to my head, like, oh my gosh, you're not gonna be able to do this. You're not capable of this. Um, my little hack is control, alt, delete. So just like the computer, our, our, our minds freeze too. So actually now if you use control, alt delete, it brings up Task Manager.

It is no longer like the reset for a RO frozen computer. As my kids say, just push the on button. Turn it off, turn it off, back on again. It'll be hard. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Reboot. 

Simone Knego: Yes, exactly. Um, but so control is all about awareness. So it's not that we can control the thoughts that come into our head, but we can control what we do with them.

Right? Right. So you have to ask yourself, is this helpful? Is this real? Most of the time, the answer is no. Alt is alternative. Tell yourself a better story instead of, I can't, I can instead of, what if I fail? How about when I succeed? And then finally delete, delete the habits and beliefs that don't serve you.

Uh, delete the comparison game. Delete the belief that you're not [00:34:00] enough. Delete the apology, right? We, we over apologize for so many things, and I feel like anytime I'm. Struggling with something, if I remember that. I'm like, okay, this isn't real. Right. Okay. What, what can I tell myself? Because again, our thoughts really become our reality, the way we talk to ourselves.

Oh, sure. Mm-hmm. Is what, it's how we move forward. And that's why you see professional athletes who, you know, they, there's a whole psychology of how they talk to themselves. Right. And the whole positive affirmation piece. Mm-hmm. And you would've asked me 10 years ago, I would've said, okay. That doesn't work.

But now that I understand the science and the research behind it, it really does work. Mm-hmm. I mean, if we can tell ourselves negative things all day long and believe it, why can't we tell ourselves positive things? Right. And believe them. Right. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Right. 

Simone Knego: It's just changing the way we see things. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yep. Our mind doesn't know the difference between the imagination and reality.

So if we imagine, if we think about the future that we want to have and practice that [00:35:00] over and over again in our mind. It becomes reality. Our mind doesn't know the difference. 

Simone Knego: Yeah. Yeah. It's so true. And so. Tell yourself a better story, right? Every single day, tell yourself a better story. Mm-hmm. And so two things I do.

I do positive affirmations every morning. I do 'em throughout the day too. Like if I'm like, oh my gosh, I can't do this right now. Yes you can. Um, but also evening gratitudes. And I feel like there's always something to be thankful for. Even if it's a really crappy day, there's always mm-hmm. Something that I can look back on and say, oh.

I'm so thankful for that today. Yeah. And that really helps me, you know, go to sleep in a positive way instead of being like, ah, I'm so frustrated that Right. You know, that really, really helps me. 

Penny Fitzgerald: That's great. I love waking up in with gratitudes too. Mm-hmm. Like first thing before I get out bed, thinking about what I'm grateful for.

Simone Knego: Mm. Yeah. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Just to set the day, you know, set the tone for the day to get it. Right. 

Simone Knego: Yeah. Yeah. I, I [00:36:00] think that I do it the other way because I'm a horrible sleeper, so I feel like if I say something, you know what I'm grateful for before I go to bed, that, yeah. That actually really helps me. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. Maybe your dreams are gonna be a little bit more positive when you do that.

Simone Knego: Yeah. I don't really remember them anymore. I don't know why. Yeah. I used to remember my dreams. I don't really remember 'em anymore. 

Penny Fitzgerald: It depends for me, and I'm not sure why. 

Simone Knego: Yeah. It 

Penny Fitzgerald: might be red wine versus white wine. 

Simone Knego: Yeah, I would say the red wine probably affects me. So yeah, that's maybe why I don't dream.

Penny Fitzgerald: Okay. So speaking of wine, um, I'm gonna switch gears on you if that's okay. Yeah, absolutely. At think end of my conversations, I love to bring it around to what's your favorite cocktail or glass of wine? 

Simone Knego: Hmm. So I would say my favorite is Cabernet and I am. My husband's, uh, trying to get me more into French wines as well.

Penny Fitzgerald: Oh, 

Simone Knego: nice. But, um, I would say still my, my favorite [00:37:00] is Cabernet and I, you know, I like some mixed drinks, but I'd rather Uhhuh have a glass of wine. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. 

Simone Knego: Versus, plus maybe it's laziness, like the idea of having naked a cocktail, someone else wants to make it for me more. Yeah. Yeah, 

Penny Fitzgerald: exactly. 

Simone Knego: My, my husband was really funny.

He came home the other day and he made himself an agro and he took a sip of it. Mm. And he was like, mm. He didn't make a good one and he took a sip. He was like, he goes, I felt so grown up for a second. I'm like, you're 63 years old. He's like, yeah. I felt so grown up for a second, and then I was like, oh, you know, I need to go to a restaurant for this.

This is not good. He's like, I, I can, I can do a good job pouring a glass of wine. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Well, we all have our strengths. 

Simone Knego: Yeah, exactly. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Nice. So you like the, is it a California style cab that you 

Simone Knego: Yeah. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Go 

Simone Knego: to California. I'm like a big, bold 

Penny Fitzgerald: mm, mm-hmm. 

Simone Knego: Red kind of person. Yeah. Uh, I have a, a vineyard in, um. It's outside of Napa.

It's called Ziata. That's probably 

Penny Fitzgerald: Oh, nice. 

Simone Knego: [00:38:00] One of my favorite wines and I 

Penny Fitzgerald: haven't encountered that one. 

Simone Knego: Yeah, it's a little small family owned vineyard that 

Penny Fitzgerald: nice 

Simone Knego: run by the sons and Yeah, it's, it's beautiful too. If you ever get a chance to visit there, it's up on a, yeah, 

Penny Fitzgerald: up 

Simone Knego: on a hill and you're look overlooking.

I don't know what lake, but it's beautiful. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Oh, wonderful. Yeah. That stuff is just it. It just takes you to another place. 

Simone Knego: Yep. Yeah, it's, yeah, exactly. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. So French wines, what's, what are you looking at Bordeauxs or trying some of those kinds of things to be in the line with Cab? 

Simone Knego: Yeah, I mean, the one that I like the best right now is a Châteauneuf-du-Pape.

Penny Fitzgerald: Oh yeah. 

Simone Knego: And that one I love, I like Uhhuh, so Yeah. He's, he's working on me, so I'm, I'm trying, I'm trying, but I think there's just something about the, the boldness of some of the, the California wines that I 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. 

Simone Knego: Haven't found as much in the French wines. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. Rutherford dust. 

Simone Knego: Mm. [00:39:00]

Penny Fitzgerald: The Napa Valley. Yeah. Yeah.

The floor, the terroir. It's, it's something, you know. Yeah. Really is, yeah. Mean something, but yeah. And I think the friend have done things so much differently with terroir. It's like you, you, it has to be passed down to, from generation to generation among the sons. 

Simone Knego: Mm-hmm. 

Penny Fitzgerald: The not the daughters 

Simone Knego: among, 

Penny Fitzgerald: yeah, yeah, yeah.

Depending on the, on the region in France. But it's, yeah, it's a completely different concept. 

Simone Knego: What's your favorite wine? 

Penny Fitzgerald: Mm. Depends on the day. 

Simone Knego: Mm. 

Penny Fitzgerald: I do like a good Châteauneuf-du-Pape though. I love those. Um, I love a good cab Franc. So like a Loire Valley red. Mm-hmm. Would be really yummy for me. Um, I love a nice dry Riesling.

Simone Knego: Yeah. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. Depends. Depends on the day. 

Simone Knego: Yeah. I guess I, I guess I should say the same. It depends on the day, but like my go-to would be, 

Penny Fitzgerald: yeah, 

Simone Knego: a big, bold red. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Nice. Yeah. It's good to have something like that. You know, when you got, when you walk into a [00:40:00] restaurant or a bar, it's like, I know what I, I know. I love 

Simone Knego: that.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And I've never found, actually recently, uh. My daughter was like, why don't you try a dirty martini? And I was like, oh, I'm not gonna like it. But I actually like, like it has to be like a lot of olive juice in there for me to like it. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. Yeah. Filthy, 

Simone Knego: but yeah, really filthy. Exactly.

Yeah. And so, because I've never had like a go-to. Cocktail Uhhuh. So if I go to a bar and I don't like their wine selection, I'm like, I don't know. Oh yeah. What am I gonna drink? Like, last time I drank stuff was, you know, in college mixed drinks. So, you know, 

Penny Fitzgerald: yeah. 

Simone Knego: I've expanded, I've expanded my alcohol palate 

Penny Fitzgerald: for sure.

Yeah, we were, we probably started out with something sweet. 

Simone Knego: Mm-hmm. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. And yeah, a little fruity. Hmm. Don't like those anymore. 

Simone Knego: No, me neither. Ooh. I don't like the way you feel the next day either. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Right, right. The sugar is really uhhuh, uhhuh 

Simone Knego: the killer. 

Penny Fitzgerald: So what, what's [00:41:00] a fun memory that you've shared with friends or family over nice cocktail or glass wine?

Mm-hmm. 

Simone Knego: I would say so we have my best friend from college. We travel with them basically every year in the summer, but um, for several years we would. Do trips to Napa and mm-hmm. So it was usually like three couples, sometimes four couples. Oh. And fun. Yeah. It was always so fun. And you know, it's crazy to think that our kids are grown up now, right?

So, I mean, we became friends when we were. 20, right? Yeah. I'm 53 now, so 33 years. And it's always a good time. Like we always have great wine when we're together and 

Penny Fitzgerald: mm-hmm. 

Simone Knego: Her husband is a wine snob, and I, I guess we kind of are now too. I mean, we're like. Life is too short for a bad glass of wine. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Oh, amen.

Simone Knego: So, yeah. But I think those trips that we've taken have always been fun. And you know what's really fun [00:42:00] actually as well, is that now that our kids are getting older, they really are enjoying wines. So our oldest son, who is 29, he got married last summer. In Spain. And so he was, you know, really nice picking out all kinds of different Spanish wines.

And we, one of our, actually our last trip to Napa, he and his, well she was his fiance at the time, came with us on that trip. So it was kind of really fun to have that first Napa trip with our Yeah. Oldest kid, like showing him the ropes. So 

Penny Fitzgerald: Nice. 

Simone Knego: Yeah. 

Penny Fitzgerald: It's so great to hang out with your kids that are now adults and see what amazing humans they've become.

Simone Knego: Yeah. I mean that's the goal is to raise amazing humans. Right? 

Penny Fitzgerald: Right. 

Simone Knego: So I feel very fortunate and so far, six for six, they're amazing humans. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Amazing. Right there. 

Simone Knego: Yeah. Yeah. They're just cool people. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah. Neat. Okay. One more, um, question, where in Florida are you 

Simone Knego: Sarasota?[00:43:00]

Penny Fitzgerald: What? I'm in Sarasota. 

Simone Knego: No way. 

Penny Fitzgerald: I am 

Simone Knego: really 

Penny Fitzgerald: for sure. 

Simone Knego: Oh wow. Okay. Well now we need to go have, uh, wine 

Penny Fitzgerald: in person. 

Simone Knego: Absolutely. 

 we should definitely, uh, go have some wine. I would love that. My, my book when it, it's coming out February 17th, I'm gonna do a book, launch party in Sarasota.

Penny Fitzgerald: Perfect. Do you have a link where it'll be available on? 

Simone Knego: Oh yeah. It's uh, realconfidencebook.com Okay. What a coincidence. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Yeah, I know. How fun is that? 

Simone Knego: Yeah. 

Penny Fitzgerald: I thought there's no way. Yeah. 

Simone Knego: Yeah. 

Penny Fitzgerald: That's amazing. Yeah. let's have a glass of wine. 

Simone Knego: Yeah, I would love that.

Yeah, so great meeting you. 

Penny Fitzgerald: Great to meet you. Have a great rest of your day.

Simone Knego: Thanks, you too. Mm-hmm. Bye 

bye. Bye bye. 

​[00:44:00]