The Confident Musicianing Podcast
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I’m Eleanor, and together we dive into concrete strategies for the before, during, and after of your audition process so that you can be better prepared and crush that performance! If you’re a music student ready to revolutionize your auditioning, let’s jump in. Tune in every Tuesday for another insight-filled episode; see you there!
The Confident Musicianing Podcast
Dealing with Frustration In The Practice Room
Frustration is a normal part of being a musician, but how do we work through it in our every day practice? Today we talk all about that.
This episode is available as a blog post. Click here to read!
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Hello and welcome to the Confident Musicianing Podcast. My name is Eleanor and I am a British American oboist studying at the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland literally my dream school and it took me a long way to get there. I applied and auditioned for 12 schools in three different countries. It was a lot of hard work but, oh my gosh, so worth it. I want you to have the confidence to work hard in achieving your goals, so come with me as we go on this journey together. So sit down, pull up a chair, take a seat or, if you're on the go, welcome to the Confident Musicianing Podcast. Listen.
Speaker 1:Frustration is normal in practice. It is normal in practice. We all feel it, we all get it, and it's something that we need to kind of deal with and get used to, because it's going to be there, and to just kind of befriend it and move on. Now, this is something that is very difficult and I still struggle with it. I get frustrated all the time, but this is something that I think is very important to talk about and that's why I am here and you are here, and today we're just going to dive into some things that have helped me when I get extremely frustrated in the practice session. So grab a cup of tea I have my tea here and let's get cozy and let's chat about this. So grab a cup of tea, I have my tea here and let's get cozy and let's chat about this. If you're watching the YouTube video of this, we have lights. We have blue lights, blue stringy lights. I have so many colors that I can choose from. If you want a color, like a different color, comment below what color you want for the next video and we can totally arrange something for that. But this is this is the setup, and let's just dive into how we can work through frustration. Okay, so I remember like this. So this episode is kind of like I've done an episode on frustration before and that was like 10, 9 months ago, and so I thought it's really really, really important to revisit it. So I'm kind of basing this episode off of that episode, but adding new things I have learned since then, and so let's just dive right into doing this. So I think practicing for auditions, especially for auditions, and things like that, when you feel the pressure, you know you feel like, oh my gosh, I need to get this right that's when frustration can really set in. I feel like, if we are just playing to play and it doesn't work, we're like, oh, all right, well, you know, whatever there's no, there's no deadline, there's no pressure here. Frustration can maybe not get in as much. But when there's a deadline or there's no pressure here, frustration can maybe not get in as much. But when there's a deadline or it's an audition or something that we really need to get, you know this thing good at that's when frustration can set in. And the first thing to understand is to understand that it's normal. Frustration is normal. You know, I started this podcast episode, I started this video saying that it's normal because it is Like, for instance, think about your favorite classical musician or just any musician, like a soloist like Hilary Hahn, maybe an orchestral player, maybe like your teacher, someone that you know.
Speaker 1:Just picture them in your head. Let's do this together. Just like. Picture them in your head head. Let's do this together. Just like. Picture them in your head. Maybe they're playing on stage or standing while they're, while they have a pause. Let me tell you something they know frustration. They just do they know frustration, um, and I think when we talk to any musician, they can say I know frustration.
Speaker 1:I think recently because, you know, since we did the episode about frustration last, I have moved to the UK and I have started playing on a European style of reed and that's something that is very new to me and very stressful, but it's a completely different setup. So, like, my embouchure is different, my, my breathing is different, my air support is different, the, the intonation is different, and I remember recently I did an opera, I was in an opera and it because I was transitioning to this new thing. I was really struggling with my intonation in the opera and that was really frustrating. If you wanna watch the opera vlog, there is a vlog about the opera on my YouTube channel. I will link it below. But I was really frustrated, like I really struggled with it because I could not get these sections in tune, because I was transitioning to a new scrape of read, a new type of read, and I think a really helpful thing was to just understand that it is normal.
Speaker 1:And I think when we, if we feel like, oh my gosh, you know, I'm so frustrated, and if we need to understand that it's normal, maybe we're struggling with like feeling like that, or maybe we're struggling with comparison, we're like, oh my gosh, you know this person probably doesn't feel frustrated. Talk to people. That's a great way to do this, just like talk to them, be like, hey, I'm frustrated, have you ever been frustrated with with practicing, with playing, and they will tell you yes, they'll probably tell you yes, and then you can create that connection with someone else another musician, where you can talk about your frustration, and I think that that is a really great way to just find camaraderie in something that can feel really isolating, especially when you are in a practice room and you're like what am I doing? I'm very frustrated, but I'm also alone in this room, and you're like what am I doing? I'm very frustrated, but I'm also alone in this room and I feel very lonely. So there are things that we can do to understand that frustration is normal.
Speaker 1:The next thing is to let it wash over you and don't hold it down. Oh my gosh. This is a really great thing to think about For me. You know, if I stub my toe right, if I just stub my toe, it hurts. You know, and I've always noticed when I do something like that, that there's two options. Your body can either tense up and you can be like oh ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, it hurt, it hurt, it hurt. Or you can just let it wash over you. If you just relax your body, try it next time you stub your toe. If you just relax your body and let it wash over you, I feel in my experience at least the pain leaves quicker because you're just like all right, the pain's here, let's wash it over, right? I think it's very I've. I've had, um, let's wash it over, right? I think it's very I've had.
Speaker 1:I've heard some friends say it's similar to like if you had like an animal, like maybe a dog, that wants your attention, right, if you don't give attention, it'll want it more. It'll be like woof, woof. You know it'll want more attention. But if you give it attention then it'll maybe maybe calm down, especially if the dog's upset. You know, and that's the same thing with frustration frustration just wants to be felt, I feel. You know, that's kind of how I've, how I have felt it in the past.
Speaker 1:So when we feel frustration, I think a great way to work through it is to just let it sit there, let it be, just be like oh yeah, frustrations here. That's what I do. I find that helpful. You know, frustrations here it's okay and I think that that can be really helpful, especially, you know, recently, when I am transitioning to the European scrape, things have been frustrating and if I, you know, if I tense up or maybe I don't think about it, and I, you know, I beat myself up and I'm like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, I can't do, maybe I don't think about it and I beat myself up and I'm like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, I can't do it. I can't do it. I never get anywhere with that.
Speaker 1:But if I'm like, alright, I'm feeling frustrated, this is tricky, if you admit to yourself this is difficult, oh my gosh, that can do wonders, in my experience at least. I'm like this is difficult, I am frustrated, but that's okay, you know, and just let it wash over you, kind of relax in the frustration rather than try and push it down. Because I feel like when I at least for me, when I push my frustration down, it just wants to come right back up harder. But if I just let it wash over me and I'm like relaxed, then that can really help me to feel a bit better about frustration and the whole situation. So next time you stub your toe, try relaxing, see what it does and next time you feel frustrated, try relaxing and see what it does.
Speaker 1:I think, especially recently with my transitioning to the European style and even with the opera just so much frustration if I can't get something and to just acknowledge it and be like, yep, hello, has really helped me as well. Now, the last thing I think which is helpful and I think it's something that might be obvious, but we really struggle with it. I think recently I have really struggled with this and I'm really working on it and that is to stop and take a break. For me, recently, I'm going to be honest, I've struggled with this. This is difficult. I feel like I need to keep going and whenever I stop to take a break, I feel quite guilty about it. I'm not going to lie. Stop to take a break, I feel quite guilty about it, I'm not going to lie. But I think taking a break is what we need, especially when we feel frustrated.
Speaker 1:Like, do something we enjoy. You know, doing something we enjoy is so helpful. So like, maybe if I'm frustrated with oboe, I'll put the oboe down and I'll get the guitar up or something and just play whatever, because you know, that's just like a fun instrument that I just like to do, and there's no stress about it, you know. Or maybe I draw something or knit, or go for a walk, touch grass, you know what I mean. Like just like, take a sec and just be, like, okay, let's do something we enjoy Dance, put on, you know, move, move your body, especially if you're in a practice room where you're just cooped up, you know, go for a walk, do a dance, you know, have, do something like that, call a friend, I don't know, just have a practice break.
Speaker 1:And if you are so frustrated that you need to maybe take the rest of the day off of practicing, that is okay too. Rest is important and it's productive, it really is, and I think that that you know if you need that, then that's what you need, and maybe you get to the in the middle of the day and you're like, actually I'm feeling a little better and I can go back, and that's okay as well. Just kind of being in tune with this, I feel that that's something that I've been needing to do sometimes recently, especially, I mean yesterday. This wasn't frustration, but this was just absolute tiredness. I, I went to um to Perth, scotland, on a train and when I came home, I was just absolutely exhausted and I planned to practice, but then I thought I am not going to get anything done, it's not going to be good because I'm so tired, and so I decided to just let that be and do something that was like low effort, that I enjoyed, and that's the same with frustration Like yesterday I wasn't frustrated, but it's the same idea. So, taking a break and it's okay when you struggle to take that break I struggled to take that break too and I think the greatest rebellion of that struggle is to actually do it and to be like you know what.
Speaker 1:We're going to do it and we're going to be fine, it's going to be fine, you know. Yeah, so those are my three. Those are my three things. I think you know. When we are doing practicing especially, frustration can come in many ways, but I think frustration can definitely be augmented when we don't actually know what we're doing in the practice session. And that's something that I have felt and I feel like maybe you could, you know, relate to that. But something that has really helped me with that is actually planning my practice and writing things down, and that is where my new favorite thing, one of my favorite things comes in.
Speaker 1:I have been using Notables practice journals. This is a practice journal that you can use and basically you write down what you're going to do and then you write a reflection at the end and it has really good questions to kind of help you and guide you in that as well. Now I've practiced. I did a practice journal before. I got a notable journal about a few years ago and that was just a blank journal and that was great until I actually didn't feel like writing another thing in a blank journal and kind of starting that. You know like when things are harder to actually start, and so I ended up not planning my practice anymore and that just got kind of bad. My practice just went womp, womp, kind of worse and worse. But with this, since it's already laid out for me, I literally just have to fill in the blank and that is so, so, so helpful.
Speaker 1:So as soon as I found out that notable practice journals were working for me, I had to tell you about it and I had to give you a code. So use code Eleanor15 for 15% off your order. That is, e-l-e-a-n-o-r-1-5 for 15% off your order. Seriously, this has been so helpful for my productivity in my practicing, the effectiveness of my practicing, and also just like general frustration as well, because I know what I'm doing. You know like that's a good anchor and maybe you need to still like, maybe take a break or something, but you can reflect about that break in your journal. So these are great and I had to tell you about them. So use code Eleanor15 for 15% off. I will link the link to get your journal in the description, in the show notes. And yeah, do yourself a favor and get yourself a cheeky journal and let's plan our practice.
Speaker 1:Okay, let's do a recap, shall we? So the first thing is understanding that this is normal. This is so normal and if we have a hard time understanding that this is normal, talk to someone about it. Let's just be like I'm frustrated in my practice. Have you been frustrated? Tell me about your frustration and then you can maybe you know it helps to make it feel a bit more normal. The next thing is let it wash over you. Don't hold it down If you, the more you push it in a corner, the more it wants to spring back on you. Try to just let it wash over you and be like, yeah, I'm frustrated and that's okay. And the third thing if you need to stop and take a break, like stop for whether that's a five minute break, a 15 minute break, a eight hour break, like maybe you stop playing your instrument for that day and you try again the next day, whatever you need, taking a break can be so, so, so beneficial. All right, okay, that is about it for this episode.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for hanging out with me. It was so fun to to chat. Um, if you want, if you want the lights to be a different color than blue, just let me know in the comments and we can sort that out. I'd love to just play around with these lights. It's great, as always. All of the things to do with this episode will be in the description in the show notes from the blog post that goes with this episode, as well as the link to get your notable practice journal. Yeah, and I will see you in the next episode or video. All right, take care. Bye-bye.
