The Confident Musicianing Podcast
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The Confident Musicianing Podcast
Takeaways From My First Year At Conservatoire
This year at conservatoire was a roller-coaster ride. I am so grateful for it! Today we dive into three takeaways that I wasn't expecting I would learn.
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Hello and welcome to the Confident Musicianing Podcast. My name is Eleanor and I am a British American oboist studying at the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland literally my dream school and it took me a long way to get there. I applied and auditioned for 12 schools in three different countries. It was a lot of hard work but, oh my gosh, so worth it. I want you to have the confidence to work hard in achieving your goals, so come with me as we go on this journey together. So sit down, pull up a chair, take a seat or, if you're on the go, welcome to the Confident Musicianing Podcast.
Speaker 1:I have just finished a year of music school that honestly shook me to my core. There were very high highs and very low lows, but all in all, I am so grateful for this year because it has really really helped me to grow as an oboist. I have been challenged in ways that I did not expect and it's like honestly been amazing. I have surprised myself in so many ways, but especially in my way to grow and my ability to adapt. This past year has been a big one. Not only have I moved countries, but I also changed playing styles in terms of like the oboe, which effectively means that I basically relearned how to play the oboe. So I am so proud of this year and what I've achieved and I want to share it with you. So here are three things that I have learned, three kind of lessons outside of playing that I have learned from first year at a conservatoire. So grab a cup of tea. I have a cup of tea with me. It's like right behind me and, yeah, let's get into it. So the first thing is learning more than just how to play your instrument. I think you know, when I got to conservatoire, I expected to learn how to play the oboe better, and that, of course, is the main focus and I did do that, which is great. But I also learned so many other things that I am so grateful for the fact that I learned them. For instance, effective time management.
Speaker 1:Uni is so different from high school, it is so different from high school and my time is more my own. I can leave the building if I want to Like. That is an option Like. I can leave the building between classes and I know, depending on, like where you live, depending, like around the world, you can actually leave your high school in different classes. I mean in between different classes it depends, but I grew up in the States and at least in my high school, like you, had to be there from a specific time to a specific time. And you know, at conservatoire, you know if I finish a class I can go, and I can go and I can practice. I have more like time to practice. I'm not necessarily learning like maths or English. Obviously, if I did maybe a more traditional university degree I might have classes like that as well.
Speaker 1:But honestly, it was such a learning curve in terms of figuring out you know how am I gonna structure my day, how do I want to structure my day to make it as effective as I possibly can, and that just it was such a learning curve and I'm really grateful for the chance to to figure that out and and work through it. I remember at the beginning of the year a lot of my teachers said you know, it's going to take a few weeks for you to kind of get into the rhythm and get into the groove. So don't beat yourself up if you don't get that immediately. And I'm really grateful for them for saying that, because I have a tendency to kind of beat myself up if I don't get things correct. So that was a really good learning opportunity.
Speaker 1:I think, as well all the other classes that don't have to do with oboe. So obviously I have oboe classes and reed making classes, but classes like on how to network, music theory, music history, how to like lead in a musical setting, how to work well with other musicians, like all of these things that I think we need to know, even like more like legal stuff, like how to you know, do like I don't know, financial things when you're self-employed, and all of these things is they're really really really helpful, helpful, and I did not realize, like number one, that I was going to learn as much as I have in this situation, like about those things, but also how valuable and how important they are. I think you know, when we go to uni or when we go to music school, we think, okay, let's do music, let's do our instrument, but but in actuality, there's so many more things that are is important to note, and then also kind of this idea of giving yourself time and care. I think it's really really really easy to get into. This idea of my life is music and music is my life, especially if you have flown across the world is now. You are now living in a new country, in a different country, because of your degree. You know, like because of your degree, I don't think that I would be living in Scotland if it wasn't for the fact that I, you know, I'm studying at a conservatoire here, and so that is is really important, and I think it's so easy because of that to just be like okay, now I'm going to do music school and nothing else. But actually that's going to lead to burnout, which I let or which I experienced. So after I burnt out, I started doing more things for me. I started to go on more walks, I started to hang out with friends more kind of create more of that time, doing more hobbies and honestly, that helps my oboe playing more. When I wasn't actively burning myself out in a practice room, I was able to grow at oboe in a better way, which I think you know. It's so easy to get into that idea and that mindset of you have to be practicing all the time, but sometimes the most productive thing you can do is take a step back and rest and do something that really fills your cup. So there's also that so kind of just learning things, other things that aren't necessarily to do with your instruments, but more just life skills. The next thing, which kind of ties into it but you can learn something from everyone. You can learn something from everyone.
Speaker 1:I remember I literally took a course on breathing from a vocal teacher and that course it was like four weeks or so, like once a week for like four weeks. It has transformed the way I play, completely transformed the way I play, the way I hold the air, the way I, you know, center the tone, because I am now able to kind of understand a little more how I breathe. You know how do you take a good breath, how do you take a supported breath. And I remember when I signed up for these classes, I was like, oh my gosh, I'm literally taking a class on how to breathe, like I didn't even bring my oboe. It was literally just how to breathe. We literally just breathed for an hour and a half for like once a week, for four weeks. Like that was it, and I am like so grateful for it, so grateful for it. Um, I also had coffee with another student who's a bagpiper and is doing gigs and I learned so much from her about how to cold call, like reach out to people about gigs, just like how to, how to, how to present yourself, especially like in a professional setting with gigs. All of these things and neither of these things were part of my course. The breathing course was not part of my course, like my main study, neither was the coffee with this friend, but I learned so many valuable things from both of these experiences experiences, and I think it's really important to keep an open mind when you're going to music school, because everyone there has something that you can learn from.
Speaker 1:They have knowledge that you can. You can learn from, not just the teachers, not just the teachers in your specific discipline. You can learn so much from, say, a string teacher if you're a woodwind, or vice versa. There is like we are all there to to perform. We are all there to to learn and to share our knowledge with other people, and that is that is what you can do, and you can learn anything from so many, so many people and to get so many different perspectives. It can be anything from so many, so many people and to get so many different perspectives. It can be so, so, so helpful in your personal playing as well, and also just how you are in the world and also your professionalism, because you know, being a musician is two things it's playing, but then it's also who you are and how you present yourself in the world. And so I you know you can learn something from everyone. Every single person has something to teach you, and that is really, really valuable.
Speaker 1:The third thing and I think this is like a big thing is learning from failure and the value of an open mindset. The biggest example of this is when I failed my midterm technical exam at the beginning of this year. I was honestly I'm going to be a little honest I was going through some tough things mentally and I wasn't actually listening to myself when I knew that I needed to be gentle and kind to myself. Instead, I drained out all of that noise in the practice room and I practiced and I practiced and I justified it with the fact that I have my midterm technical exam coming up. But the thing is, I completely neglected myself. Completely neglected myself, and because of this, when I actually got to the exam, I was burnt out and unable to actually give a performance. That and unable to actually give a performance that you know was my best work, and so I failed. And I remember when I, you know, got the, got the notification that I failed, it just absolutely wrecked me, like I was so devastated. Um, I was like what, just like honestly so devastated.
Speaker 1:I think there were two different reasons. I think that part of it was like me feeling like, you know, already feeling down and then having this was just like worse. But then also this idea of you know, I'm a perfectionist. In in high school I got straight A's. I did not get a single B. Why? Because I am a perfectionist. I did not allow myself to do that and it was also, I think, to the cost of my, my mental health at some points. Um, it was not healthy. I did not allow myself to do that and it was also, I think, to the cost of my mental health at some points. It was not healthy, I think it was. Probably it would have been better if I had maybe gotten at least one or two Bs.
Speaker 1:So then I could, you know, learn that. You know it's okay to not have the best grades all the time, but this was kind of that equivalent. I was like, but this was kind of that equivalent. I was like, oh my gosh, I have. I haven't really felt this kind of sting before. You know, I haven't really failed academically like this before and that really really hurt. I was like who, who am I? I thought I was someone who, who did well at things. Now that was like I mean, that's really deep and heavy.
Speaker 1:And I knew during that time I had two options. I could either let this defeat me and be like, oh my gosh, you know, this is too hard. Obviously, look at the, look at the exam paper. It says fail is too hard. Or I could take this as an opportunity to learn and grow and I did the latter because I am, like you know, my love of oboe like I'm not going to let this defeat me. What are you talking about? I can learn from this. So the next few months after that, I met with different teachers to work through it. I chatted with different other students who had also gone through a similar experience and I focused on being kinder to myself. I focused on being kinder to myself and that was a big, big difference.
Speaker 1:I the second time cause I had a reset the second time around. During that reset, I felt so much more supported. There were people who were there to help me. You know, I even put it on my Instagram and I have gotten so many amazing messages from you guys and that has been so helpful in my confidence. I felt supported by so many people. And the second time around, because I had taken care of my mental health and I had listened to myself and I had, you know, asked for help when I needed it, I passed. I passed. It's like, oh my gosh, I passed like it's very fresh, it's very new. I passed like this past week, so I'm very excited still about it. Fresh, it's very new. I passed like this past week, so I'm very excited still about it. It is a huge, huge, huge win because, you know, I took it, this. I took the situation and I was like, okay, let's let's grow, let's learn from it, because growth is possible with an open mindset. Growth is possible with an open mindset. If I had had a closed mindset, I probably wouldn't have passed the second time. I passed because I had an open mindset and that is so, so valuable.
Speaker 1:Another example of this is when I was writing a history essay for my music history class. Now, I didn't fail this history essay, but so it's not as dramatic of an example, but it is still a good example. About two weeks before the essay was due, I ran it past a teacher and they said that it had the right idea, but the order didn't make sense, and so the overall message of the essay was jumbled and basically I had two weeks to completely reorder and revamp this essay. That was just a wee bit stressful. That was a wee bit stressful, I think. You know. It was quite a hefty one, quite a hefty essay, and so I was like, okay, let's sit down and do this. And it was quite stressful because I literally had a meeting with this teacher where they were like okay, you need to kind of rethink this, you know, rethink this before it's due.
Speaker 1:And I think if I had a closed mindset, you know, I probably would have not been able to rise to the challenge. But with an open mindset, you can say okay, I'm really grateful for this meeting, I'm really grateful for this teacher for taking the time to tell me that I need to rethink this and I am going to work on it and rethink it. And because of that I was able to create an essay that was better structured, better ordered and, you know, was my best work, and that is something that I am really, really grateful for it made much more sense. It made much more sense after those two weeks, I think, because, you know, if I wasn't able to be like, okay, it's okay to struggle, it's okay to fail an exam, it's okay to work through things and to not have it be easy, then I can. You know I can do it and I can actually rise to the challenge and do it.
Speaker 1:I recently had a friend who who, when I was going through, you know, the last few days before my exam, my exam reset um. This friend told me she was like you know, it makes sense, this is conservatoire, it's meant to be hard, it's meant to not be easy. Not everyone gets into conservatoire. So you know it's not meant to be easy and I love that. She said that it made me feel so much better about you know this, because it's not meant to be easy and because you know I have been able to get into conservatoire and I'm doing this, that means that you know I can rise to this challenge and that's something that I'm really grateful for and it was just good. It was just good. I think, honestly, that was one of the most valuable lessons I've learned from year one um was being able to do that.
Speaker 1:Now, a little bonus lesson that I learned from year one and I've done this a little in the past, but year one really really kind of drove a home that this is important is how to practice and how to effectively practice, and one of the ways that I have been effectively practicing is by planning my practice and reflecting on it afterwards, and the tool that I use to help plan my practice is a notable practice journal. This notable practice journal has really really helped me when it comes to being able to effectively plan my practice so I can get my practice done and then spend time doing other things that I need to do and also just having time for me, because you know you've got you not only have to take care of the oboe, but you also have to take care of the oboist, and that goes for all of the instruments. But this notable practice journal has been so, so helpful. Not only have I been able to plan my practice, but also I've been able to reflect, and that helps me get better practice sessions over time, because I'm able to look back and see, okay, what worked and what didn't. So, as soon as I realized that this notebook was helping me. I knew that I had to tell you about it and I knew that I had to give you a code. So use code Eleanor15 for 15% off your journal. That is E-L-E-A-N-O-R-1-5 for 15% off your journal and go get yourself a notable practice journal and start planning your practice because, honestly, it's really really, really helpful. There is a link in the description, in the show notes, where you can go and get your journal. And don't forget to use the code Eleanor15 for 15% off. You know me, I do not recommend anything that I don't absolutely love. This code is an affiliate code, so I do receive a commission with no extra cost to you.
Speaker 1:All right, shall we do a quick recap of these three things? All right? The first thing is learning more than just how to play your instrument. So learning like effective time management, learning things from all of the other classes. I think it's so easy to go in and think, oh my gosh, this class is about you know something that's not actually my main instrument, so I shouldn't pay attention as much. No, you should. It's a it's usually an effective skill. You know, usually when a class happens it's because you know someone's put thought into it and thought, okay, this is worth, you know teaching, so all of the other classes and then also learning how to give yourself time and care and just kind of listening to yourself when you, when you need to, to fill your cup, um back up after maybe a long day of rehearsals and practice, um. The second thing is you can learn something from everyone, literally everyone, even someone who has nothing to do with your discipline. You can learn something from everyone. We talked about how I had to took breathing classes from a vocal teacher and how I had coffee with a bag piping students and we talked about effective ways to get gigs. That, like, those two experiences have been so helpful.
Speaker 1:And the last thing is learning from failure the value of an open mindset. The biggest example of that is me failing my technical exam and then changing kind of my approach to it and my approach to self-care as well, and then being able to pass in the reset but, yeah, just seeing like we can. We can overcome failure. We can overcome failure. I think, as musicians, perfectionism runs deep and being able to be like, okay, that wasn't, you know, that wasn't perfect, because obviously I didn't do well, because I failed, but I'm able to, to come back from it and to come back better. And you know, sometimes coming back better is being softer with yourself and more gentler, and, you know, being kinder to yourself. So there's also that. And then the last thing is like more effective practice planning, and the tool that I use for that is a notable practice journal, so there is a code in the description in the show notes, so make sure to go check that out.
Speaker 1:All right, oh my gosh, this year has been so amazing. I it's crazy. I feel like now, now this year is over, I'm like, what do I do? I'm like, I mean, I know what I'm going to do, like I have things and I'm so excited because you know I have more time to focus on, like the podcast and and things for you guys which I'm so excited about. Um, but it's like you know, now the school year's over, I'm like, oh my gosh, we did it. We did it. We did one year and I'm so grateful for this year. So, all right, that is about it for this episode. Thank you so much for hanging out with me. I hope that it was helpful, it was good, I hope we had a good time and, as always, all the things to do with this episode will be in the show notes, and if you enjoyed this episode, please do show the love like, subscribe, share, comment, send it to all of your musical friends and I will see you in the next episode. Alright, take care, bye.
