The Confident Musicianing Podcast
Want to get better at your music auditions? You CAN transform the way you audition and The Confident Musicianing Podcast guides you through it.
I’m Eleanor, and together we dive into concrete strategies for the before, during, and after of your audition process so that you can be better prepared and crush that performance! If you’re a music student ready to revolutionize your auditioning, let’s jump in. Tune in every Tuesday for another insight-filled episode; see you there!
The Confident Musicianing Podcast
How to Find Joy In Music When Performing Is Stressful
Why did we start playing music? For the joy of it. That's what today's episode is all about.
This episode is available as a blog post. Click here to read!
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Hello and welcome to the Confident Musicianing Podcast. My name is Eleanor and I am a British American oboist studying at the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland literally my dream school and it took me a long way to get there. I applied and auditioned for 12 schools in three different countries. It was a lot of hard work but, oh my gosh, so worth it. I want you to have the confidence to work hard in achieving your goals, so come with me as we go on this journey together. So sit down, pull up a chair, take a seat or, if you're on the go, welcome to the Confident Musicianing Podcast. Hello, hello, hello and welcome to this week's podcast episode.
Speaker 1:Today, we are going to be talking all about cultivating joy, finding joy in your practice, because I think, let's be honest, when we started our musician journey whatever that was we wanted to do it. Do you know what I mean? Musician journey? Whatever that was, we wanted to do it. Do you know what I mean? Like we saw an instrument and we thought, oh, I want to try that, I want to figure that out. I remember the first time I ever played an instrument and it was the viola, and there were some people who were older students and they came into, like my class at school, and they were showing their instruments and they were like you can play this or this or this. And I remember just coming home and telling my family like I want to play the viola, I want to play the viola. And then, um, the viola was added on by the guitar and then the oboe, and now I don't play viola anymore.
Speaker 1:But it was my first musical love and I think, going back to that, you know little child for me, I was eight years old and I was just like I want to play the viola. I remember in class, like just waiting for the time, you know, because we had like viola class or like music class, and like I was in math or English and I was just like, oh, I just want to play the viola right now. And I remember just wanting that and that was just so pure and so, I suppose, innocent. It wasn't like, oh, I have to sound good at the viola. It was just like I want to play the viola and now, obviously, for me at least, it's the oboe. Right, that is my main instrument, that I'm studying at conservatoire and I think you know, conservatoire is a very different setting than, um, being eight and just wanting to play an instrument and because you know I was.
Speaker 1:I was eight quite a while ago and during the you, the phase for me being eight to now, I have done a lot of practice, a lot of struggle, a lot of having to reframe things, the idea of thinking was I good, was I good enough? I remember when I was in school I would often equate kind of my value with how well I played an instrument or what grades I got at school. And that mentality I think it gets a lot of us, especially musicians, because we're perfectionists, we just want to be good at something and that just kind of gets us and we just want to be good at our instrument. And then sometimes that can start to chip away at that beginning joy that we had when we first decided to start playing that instrument. And in a conservatoire it can be quite competitive, it can be quite stressful, it can be a lot of things. You know it can be a lot of things. It can be joyful, it can be amazing and I love studying at conservatoire. So far I have found it amazing and just lovely. I have so enjoyed it. But there is that kind of am I good enough? Will this be okay? All of these stresses and things, and because of that, you know that can make us more stressed and then that can affect our sound, that can affect our playing, because, at the end of the day, who actually makes the music? Is it our instrument or is it us? It's us, our instrument is a tool that we use to make the music, but all the, all the musicality, all the knowledge, everything it's us, right, it is us, and so we need to take care of us and remember that joy that we felt when we started.
Speaker 1:I, in the past six months, have really had a journey. Let's say that I had a journey. Let's say that I had a journey because I failed my midterm technical exam at my conservatoire. I overworked myself, I did not take care of myself, I really went into this rut of forgetting the joy of oboe and just practicing like I was a machine. But I'm not. I'm a human being and so are you. So I mean you can probably understand that that didn't work out and when I actually got to the exam, I, just like it went it just. You know, I forgot everything. You know, I, they, they wanted me to play some scales. I forgot, I just forgot.
Speaker 1:And it wasn't like me at all, it was was so surprising. Everyone else was surprised because I am such a focused student. But what I didn't do was I did. I took care of the oboe but I didn't take care of the oboist. I took care of the oboe but I didn't take care of the oboist. And that is really important to do. That is so important. And yeah, so after that, after I failed, it was honestly devastating because you know, when I talked about equating kind of your worth with how you play, that has gotten better for me. Definitely In the few years I have, I have gotten better at that at that framework, um, but I really did.
Speaker 1:Kind of it was a humbling moment. I was like, oh my gosh. You know I failed this exam and during the months between my failing my exam and my reset because I got a reset I really focused on taking care of myself, on setting boundaries with my oboe, setting boundaries with my oboe and my practice, taking care of how important you know my mental health was. That was so important. And I remember I did a session. I did a session with one of the teachers at my conservatoire and this teacher kind of gave me a crash course in about 40 minutes of how to perform well, how to prepare a performance and how to play kind of musically. And during that 40 minutes it was just my brain was transformed. I feel it was so, so, so good and I had made a realization the importance of joy in playing.
Speaker 1:The importance of joy in playing. Because when we started, you know, when we started, we all we had was joy. Right, maybe not much skill, but joy. And now that I have more skill from when I was eight or nine, I am able to play better. But I want to bring that joy of that eight-year-old right, because she's still inside of me and she is so excited about where I am and about all of the things I'm doing musically and she wants to share this joy through my oboe, and so I wasn't really letting her do that. Do you know what I mean? So that is what this episode is about cultivating that joy. How do we take that joy that we had when we were young and all we wanted to do was just make noise and bring it back to now, when we are stressed out, when we are stressed out when we have deadlines, competitions, auditions, rehearsals, practice sessions, performances, all of these things. So let's dive into it. The first thing, I mean this is kind of split out into two things. And the first thing is kind of in practice, when we don't necessarily have a performance coming up, but just our everyday practice. And I think something that is so important and I think something sorry, I just there were birds that just flew by I think that something that is so important with this is cultivating curiosity. Cultivating curiosity because curiosity can lead to joy.
Speaker 1:When we first started at our instrument, we were curious. We were like you know what happens if I put the bow on the strings? I remember the first time I played an oboe, I didn't know I had to soak a reed. I played it dry. I was like what do I do if I play it dry? It wasn't a good sound, but I was curious about it. And then I was like do I soak it? Do I get it wet? How does this work? I was so curious and so creating that curiosity. Now, obviously, we have been playing our instruments probably for a while now. We know that we need to soak a reed. We know how a bow works, you know, for a string instrument.
Speaker 1:What I mean now is experimenting with all the notes we play. What happens if I play this with a little more bow on the string? What happens if I end this note a little quicker than I thought I could? What if I take this phrase and I make it more expansive, or something? Even I heard someone give kind of some tips for ways to memorize a piece of music and this person said and this was like crazy to me, but they were like memorize the chord structure of the phrase and then just play whatever notes you want in the phrase or in the chord structure of the phrase. And then just play whatever notes you want in the phrase or in the chord structure, even if they're not the notes on the page, to just understand what notes are important in this section.
Speaker 1:Now, obviously, when you memorize something, you want to play the right notes. But it just made me realize like, oh yeah, because every piece of music has chord structures, it has you know kind of a structure to it. We can have fun with that. So, experimenting with that, you know what happens if, just for 30 seconds in this practice room, I take a look at these two bars, realize they're in C major and just move the notes around a little bit, see what happens, right, and obviously when we perform it we'll put the notes back. But that is something to experiment with. But when we put the notes back we will have a better understanding of the notes when we put them back, because we know kind of the harmonic structure of these two bars, because we just played around with it. Do you know what I mean? Like doing that experimentation in practice can be so helpful, so helpful, being curious, and from there you'll start it, can. You know it can take a while, but it can start to kind of create joy.
Speaker 1:Because what if you find something in your experiments that you love and you're like oh my gosh, you know, I love playing it like this or I love doing it like that? You, you know, in my personal experience, when I experiment more with my playing, I start to kind of like how do I put this? Look like, look forward to doing more experiments, like being like, oh my gosh, you know, this was so much fun, I need to stop now maybe my face is tired or something, but tomorrow, you know, we can do it like this or we can do it like that. Right, and all of this experimentation kind of goes into the practice, because it helps us understand things more. And it might not all be like switch the notes around, because that might not be, you know, productive if we do that the entire time. Right, this is all just like little bits and pockets of experimentation. But you know, if we think to ourselves, what if I play this phrase a little differently? What if I, you know, add a crescendo here or do this or do that, it starts to kind of help us with our like, like ability to make music musically, not just like read on the page. Does that make sense? And then it can create joy, then you can look forward to it, then you're like, oh my gosh, I feel like a kid again who just wants to play, who just has fun with it. You know it can be really helpful.
Speaker 1:And the second thing this is more before performing. So let's say so, the thing that we just talked about was like you're just practicing. Now we have a performance, say in two weeks. Two weeks performance, cultivating the feeling of joy from all of the feelings of joy that we've had in the past and moving it onto what we have now is kind of how I do it in this stage. So we have a performance coming up soon.
Speaker 1:What do we do? What I do, at least, is every morning I sit and I think, like I close my eyes, I do some deep breaths I love meditation, by the way, this is something I do all the time but I take a few breaths and then I think how does it feel like to play oboe? Well, how does it feel like to play oboe? Well. And then I remember past memories and experiences of playing oboe. Well. So for me, I remember there's one audition that I did for a conservatory in the States and I felt so confident in it. I felt so confident and it just, I don't know, it just felt so good. I have this memory of me going up a few floors in a lift because the actual audition was on a higher floor than my warm-up room and just me. I think the lift had like a mirror and me looking in the mirror and thinking I am so ready for this audition, I am so excited to share the joy that I have of playing the oboe with the panel, and I remember feeling that joy.
Speaker 1:And so what I do now is I sit and I imagine that scenario, I imagine my joy and I just bring it back up in my chest. For me, I feel it in my chest, it's a warmth. It's a warmth, it's not competitive, it's welcoming. Do you know what I mean? Like it's loving, it's just like so, so sweet, and I welcome that in. And I just feel it for a second. And then I imagine myself playing the oboe in whatever practice room I'm gonna. Do you know whatever practice room I'm gonna be in? And I just feel this joy and imagine me practicing and that is so helpful. And then I do it with my performance. So I imagine myself performing and this kind of goes into visualization, which is another podcast episode I've done but I imagine performing and feeling this joy, feeling this joy and kind of showing my brain that these two things can go together. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1:And then when I actually practice and prepare for the performance, I do that again. I think to myself am I going to? Or you know what does it feel like? To feel joy in this moment? And that's what I do, and that's what I do and it really helps. It helps my breath support, it helps my tone, it helps just my general enjoyment of the practice session and the performances. It is so, so helpful. Honestly, I love it. I love it so much. So that's something that I do as well, and I remember, before I took my exam reset, I did this and I actually have it on camera and I put it on my Instagram stories and I think I asked you guys if you do it and quite a few of you do and quite a few of you don't. So that's kind of why I'm making this episode.
Speaker 1:But there's a video of me on my camera roll, of me just sitting there and just asking myself out loud what does it feel like to play oboe? Well, and then I just take a deep breath and I imagine it and you can see it's crazy because when I watched it back, I was like, oh my gosh, I can actually see in my face, in my body, how I'm, my posture, how I'm sitting, just me feeling so much joy inside of me, and I was like that is is so important and it just helped me and I passed. I passed my recent oh my gosh and oh my gosh, that's so. I'm just so happy that I passed, because I showed the panel joy. That was the difference, and I took care of myself and I passed. Oh, all right, that is the two. That's the two ways that I do joy.
Speaker 1:Now I think it's interesting because, in terms of doing joy and doing joy, seeking joy and putting joy in the practice sessions, a great way to do this, if you want to, is kind of tracking your joy, kind of tracking that as well, but, more importantly, tracking your practice. What of tracking that as well, but more importantly, tracking your practice what have you practiced in the day and how does it make you feel? And maybe also reflecting on how it's been like cultivating that joy in your practice session. Because reflecting on sessions is so important. And a way that I reflect on my session is with a notable practice journal. A notable practice journal is so, so, so helpful because not only can you plan your practice but you can also reflect and so you can say I did the cultivation of joy. I remembered that time that I really felt, know, really felt so excited and confident and joyful and I envisioned that when I was playing and my tone got a million times better or whatever happened, and you can write it down in your reflection section of the journal and then that helps, you know, for the next session, the next session, as soon as I found out that a notable practice journal was so helpful for my practice, I knew I had to tell you about it and I knew I had to give you a code. So use code ELENOR15 for 15% off your order. That is, e-l-e-a-n-o-r 15 for 15% off your order, and get yourself a notable practice journal and start reflecting on these practice sessions, because it can be really, really, really helpful.
Speaker 1:All right, let's do a bit of a recap. So this is just basically a two-parter. The first part is, in practice, experimenting, being curious, oh, and you can also track that in your notable practice journal as well. Um, you know what you experiment with. So experimenting, being curious and, through that, seeking joy, and then, before performing, um, cultivating that feeling, kind of sitting with yourself and and imagining how does it feel to play well, to play confidently and then kind of cultivating that feeling, bringing it up and then playing, and that can be so helpful as well. And then you can, in terms of reflecting and keeping track of this cultivating joy and also your experiments. A notable practice journal is such a helpful tool and there's a code in the show notes, in the description for you and a link as well, so you can get yours.
Speaker 1:You know me, I do not recommend anything that I don't absolutely love.
Speaker 1:This code is an affiliate code, so I do receive a commission with no extra cost to you. Alright, that is about it for this episode. Thank you so much for hanging out with me. Oh my gosh, that is such a lovely thing for you to you. All right, that is about it for this episode. Thank you so much for hanging out with me. Oh my gosh, that is such a lovely thing for you to do. Please, if you enjoyed this episode, show the love, hit, follow, subscribe, like all the things All the things. It really does help and it really does mean the world to me. Help and it really does mean the world to me and share this episode with as many musical friends as you think will help or will benefit from this episode. Anyone you want, share it. I'd be so grateful. And, yeah, that is about it. Thank you so much for hanging out with me, and I will see you in the next episode, because I literally have a practice room booked in five minutes. Do you think I'm gonna make it? Let's see. All right, take care. Bye-bye.
