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The Confident Musicianing Podcast
Orchestral Tea Etiquette?! Culture Shocks From The US To The UK
When I moved to the UK to study music, there were a few things that I wasn't expecting. Here are some musical culture shocks about the UK.
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Hello and welcome to the Confident Musicianing Podcast. My name is Eleanor and I am a British American oboist studying at the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland literally my dream school and it took me a long way to get there. I applied and auditioned for 12 schools in three different countries. It was a lot of hard work but, oh my gosh, so worth it. I want you to have the confidence to work hard in achieving your goals, so come with me as we go on this journey together. So sit down, pull up a chair, take a seat or, if you're on the go, welcome to the Confident Musicianing Podcast. Hello everybody, and welcome back to another episode of the Confident Musicianing podcast.
Speaker 1:Today we are going to be talking all about culture shocks since moving to the UK. I have been living in the UK for about almost a year now and there's a lot of like different culture shocks and it's interesting because I so I'm a dual citizen. I am British, I'm also American, um, I grew up in the states, um, and I've since moved back to the UK and it's very interesting having two cultures right, being being part of kind of two countries, and so there's a lot of things about the UK that I am used to because I am actually British. But then there are also things that I'm not as used to and today I want to dive into more kind of the musical culture shocks, because I definitely, before moving to the UK, was very American in my musical self. Do you know what I mean? Like, I grew up in the States learning music and it is actually quite different to the UK. So I want to chit chat a little bit about that Before we get into the actual kind of part of that um, part of that episode.
Speaker 1:Um, I want to just kind of start this off with like a little life update. I think I want to, um, moving on with the episodes, have a little section at the beginning where I just tell you like something about my life, something that's happened recently, kind of just like chit chat about that, and then we can get to the actual content of the episode. I will, um put like timestamp that out, um, in the audio bit at least. Um. So if you want to skip just to the content bits, that's perfectly fine, but let's do a little bit of a little bit of a life update. Um, it's not a big one but it's an interesting one, because recently I went to the park with some friends.
Speaker 1:I took the bus to the park and it was interesting because, you know, that day, like I went in the afternoon and in the morning I had planned on doing a practice session and something happened. It was like, oh my gosh, it was crazy. So I literally, just as when I was about to start my practice session, a wasp flew into the flat and it was making all the noise because obviously the wasp wanted out of the flat. The wasp didn't want to stay in the flat, so it was like trying to get out and it was hitting a window and it was getting annoyed and it was buzzing and it was really like loud to me and I really wanted to help this wasp get out of the flat. And you know it's like. So it was like opening windows trying to get it to leave and it took up my entire practice time that I had set out in the morning and I was just in such a kind of flurry and a kind of rush to just get this wasp out that I did not realize that when it finally went out, not only did I, not only was I just absolutely exhausted from the entire endeavor, my practice time was gone and I was like, oh, no, um.
Speaker 1:And then it was time to to hang out in the park with some friends and I just I realized, you know, I had two options. I could either beat myself up, be like, oh my gosh, you missed your practice time. You know, you should have just been okay with the practicing with the wasp and honestly, looking back, maybe, but the wasp was so I don't know, I just it was so distracting and I just really wanted it out of the flat and I could have beat myself up. You know, I could have gone to the park with my friends, I could have had fun, but there could have been a little voice in the back of my head being like, why didn't you just, you know, get on with things?
Speaker 1:But I decided to change that up a bit and I decided to be kind to myself, because the only way forward in my experience at least, the way forward is through kindness, through empathy and compassion. I've found that when I shame myself or when I beat myself up, I don't really grow as a person or as a musician. So I decided I'm going to show myself empathy and be like, okay, maybe today, maybe today is a rest day, you know, maybe, like I've been practicing so much recently, like maybe maybe it's just a day to rest and and be calm and be okay. And I decided you know what I'm just going to have? I'm just going to go to the park, I'm going to have fun with my friends. It's going to be great. And I did. And I had so much fun and I saw Highland cows Um, first time first time forever, cause I live in Scotland. So, uh, the first time I've ever seen Highland cows. They're just big puppies, they're lovely. And I just had so much fun at the park.
Speaker 1:And, you know, after the park I went and I grabbed a coffee with someone and it was just so chill and I was like you know what, today is just a day to be in the moment and to enjoy just the beautiful things of life. Do you know what I mean? And I think that that is such an important thing to just kind of talk about, because, you know, some days we wake up and we practice, and practice, and practice and it's great and we feel confident and we feel productive and it's amazing. But other days we don't, you know, and other days we just something happens the wasp flies into the apartment and all of a sudden, we need to to take care of that or we don't get as much time, or maybe even our practice isn't, as you know, productive or effective, and that's okay, you know, and it's okay and we still deserve, as people, to go to the park with our friends. You know what I mean. It's so important. So I'm really proud of myself for doing that, for choosing empathy over you you know, shaming myself and I felt that it was an important thing to to tell you, um, because as musicians, we all struggle with that, we all are working towards that and it's good to good to have some, some wins about that and yeah, all right.
Speaker 1:Shall we move on to the actual topic of the episode, and that is culture shocks in the UK, specifically music culture shocks. I might do an episode, um about like more general culture shocks in the UK, because there are also that it's it's very strange if you have two nationalities you can probably relate to, like in both countries. For me, the states and the UK like going someplace and and there being a culture shock and you being like, okay, I have this culture shock, but I am actually, you know this country, I am actually part of this country. Do you know what I mean? Like it would make sense for me, for instance, if I went to like I don't know Norway, you know I'm not Norwegian. But if I went to Norway and I had a culture shock in Norway, that would make sense because I'm not Norwegian. Do you know what I mean? But because I am actually British and I had a culture shock in Norway, that would make sense because I'm not Norwegian. Do you know what I mean? But because I am actually British and I am actually American, when I have culture shocks in these two countries, I'm like it's a bit strange.
Speaker 1:But alright, let's get into culture shocks in the UK, specifically in terms of music conservatoires or like that kind of thing. The first thing and, by the way, this is a disclaimer this is all in my experience. Someone else might have a completely different experience. This is my experience of these two places. The first thing that I found was this is specifically with, like my oboe teachers, I find that in the States you look at oboes more from a, or you look at learning an instrument for me it was the oboe more from a mechanical point of view. Like this is how you do it, this is how you need to do it, this is how you make it work. And then from in the UK UK it's more of an artistic point of view, it's more of like a you know, if you want, if you want to do this specific thing, then try that, or try this other thing. I remember in the States my teacher would be like okay, when you have I don't know a trill, you play it this way. Or when you have this, you do it like this. And there was just one option.
Speaker 1:And then I got to the UK and my teacher at my conservatoire was like let me give you some ideas and you can choose from them whatever fits you. And I was like what? I was so shocked because I was like but, but but which? Which one is correct? You know, I, I don't want to make a choice, tell me which one I should do. And that was a big shock for me.
Speaker 1:And I find that, you know, everyone kind of looks at it more from an artistic point of view, especially because at the conservatory we have performance class, which basically means that people go up and they perform a piece and then they get feedback from everyone in the room. And that was, for me quite a shock, because I was well from the shock was the. The feedback was quite an artistic thing. It was like show more color, show more expression, you know, show your artistic side, whereas I think for me, at least in the states, it was more of like a mechanical point of view, like this is how you do it, do you know? I mean, it was a big shock for me and it's still something that I'm kind of struggling with, because I do get quite nervous about, like, what if I choose the wrong option? You know, my teacher gave me three options to play this. What? What if I do the wrong one? But I think for me it's it's learning how to be more open to these things. You know, um, before we move on to the next one, I'm gonna. I have a pizza in the oven, so I'm gonna quickly get that and then check on it and then we'll move on to the next one. So just give me a wee sec. Oh my gosh, this pizza looks so good. I'm really excited about it. Um, all right, the next thing. This is interesting.
Speaker 1:Um, I found, especially in a conservatory setting, teachers are more laid back, and this is just my experience. There are so many music teachers in the UK, there's so many in the US. But from my personal experience with teachers I found that they're more laid back. I think, like, for instance, at Christmas time my oboe teacher took the entire oboe class to the pub and I think in the UK or US that would never happen, like I don't know, at least in my experience. Like I couldn't imagine that happening in the States. Like your teacher actually, like takes you out for drinks at the pub. Do you know what I mean? Like, and I remember I told someone in the States like that they do this in the UK and they were like what? Like, what it was? It is a big culture shock. The teachers here, I feel, are more laid back. Like, for instance, I call all my teachers by their first names.
Speaker 1:And I mean, again, this is my experience, but in the in the in the States, I found that, especially like conservatory, you know, music school they say like professor so-and-so, professor so-and-so, and I think, I'm sure I mean I don't know, but maybe in more traditional universities in the UK they might say professor, but at least in my conservatoire, like I call my teachers by their first names. Like my oboe teacher, I call him by his first name, um, and that is something that's a little different like, for I mean to be fair, in the in the US I called my private teacher by his first name, but that wasn't part of, he wasn't like a part of like a music school. Do you know what I mean? But when I went and visited music schools I saw students calling the teachers by like professor, so-and-so, and yeah, it's just a little bit of a culture shock, because in the UK you say or at least in my experience, I say, my teacher is just their first names and they're fine with that, and that's a very different thing, and they like introduce themselves, you know, by their first name, which is a very different thing, and that's a bit of a culture shock.
Speaker 1:Um, the third one this one's really funny, um, and I think I think it makes, I mean, total sense in the world of being a Brit, but it is so funny and that is tea etiquette. Um, I literally have in my notes like, like notes on tea etiquette. So, for instance, um, like we've had classes or a class where we all sat down and we talked about gigging and we talked about, like you know, freelancing and if you were a freelance classical musician and you know if you've got um gigs in specific orchestras, how to act, how to behave, you know, be on time, blah blah. But there was an entire section of that class that was how many cups of tea should you get? Who? You know who? Who should you give the tea to? Um, you know, should you buy tea or should you let them give you to? You know, it was just like so much and I was like I sat there and it was like, oh my gosh, this would never happen in the states. But like you know, for instance, like during orchestra rehearsals, during the breaks, you know who'd you give tea to, and I have notes on that. And I remember sitting in that class thinking this would never happen in the States. And this is brilliant Because I mean, in the UK, like I know that we have this kind of reputation of everyone drinks tea and blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 1:And it's so true, it is so true Like I have tea behind me, me, um, everyone drinks tea. It's so important and you know so much so that I've I've had classes where we talk about tea etiquette in orchestras, which is which you know. I think the American side of me is blown away. The British side of me make you know. It's like, yeah, no, that makes sense, but that is something that's quite different.
Speaker 1:The next one is this idea of like, everyone being on a different path, and this is just my experience, but I feel like in the UK people are on more of their own individual paths, whereas I feel like in the US everyone's kind of doing the same thing. So like, for instance, like in the UK, you might go to a conservatoire to be in an orchestra, but you might also go to a conservatoire because you just want to freelance, or you might go to a conservatoire just because you want to I don't know do something else or do something different. Or like, use your degree. I feel like everyone has a plan for their degree and it's different. I feel like in the US everyone wants to do the same thing and I think that that's that's interesting.
Speaker 1:I think it kind of comes in a similarity to like, the individualism versus like, or sorry, the mechanic versus the artist. So, like in the US it's kind of more of a mechanical way, the UK more of an artistic way. I think it's kind of the same thing. I think in the US it's more of um. In the US it's more of like a everyone's doing this thing and that's all they. They want to do that and I'm sure you know people branch off and people do different things, but I feel like everyone has a similar goal, whereas in the UK everyone kind of just does like, like, has their own path and has their own idea of what they want to do, and I think that that was a different thing. I mean, for the most part, every like. Obviously, everyone wants to play their instrument. That's kind of it, um.
Speaker 1:But I feel like in the UK there's a little more individualism as to what you specifically want to do, um, I feel like in the US the idea is okay, everyone, everyone gets a undergraduate degree and then they get a graduate. You know, they go to grad school, they get their graduate degree and then they apply for orchestras. And in the UK, like, I have friends who, for instance, just graduated from their bachelor degree, from their undergraduate, and they're like okay, do I want to go to grad school or do I want to like? You know, you can do internships with orchestras, or do I want to do this or do I want to do that? You know it's it's all very different. Um, and this is you know, obviously, from my own experience, but it's, it's quite interesting to see the more individualism in the UK. Um, and I think for me that fits me a bit more, because I feel like I want to be in an orchestra but there's so many other things in my mind relating to my oboe that I'm like I want to try this, I want to do this, all of these things which I'm so excited about. It's a little bit different, but I'm really happy that I'm going to this conservatoire, that I'm going to and I'm going to this conservatoire that I'm going to and I'm studying here and it's absolutely amazing. So those are. I don't know how many. There were One, two, three, four, four, four culture shocks. I just counted off my little script or like my outline of the episode. So, yeah, those are the four culture shocks, at least from in the musician side of things.
Speaker 1:Before we do a little recap, I want to let you know about a tool that really helps me in my practicing to plan my practice, to reflect my practice or reflect on my practice, and that is a notable practice journal. This journal is so helpful. Not only can I plan my practice so that I know exactly what I want to do in my practice session. I can also reflect, so that I make sure that I grow after every single session. As soon as I realized that this journal was helping me, I knew I needed to tell you about it and I knew I needed to give you a code. So use code Eleanor15 for 15% off your journal. And, yeah, go practice and plan it and make it effective, because we all love effective sessions. You know I don't recommend anything that I don't absolutely love. So this code is an affiliate code, which means I do receive a commission with no extra cost to you. All right, let's do a wee recap.
Speaker 1:So the first thing, in my experience at least, in the US it's kind of more going at playing an instrument from a mechanical point of view, whereas in the UK it's more of an artistic point of view. In the UK the teachers seem to be a bit more laid back. Obviously, everyone's still very focused, but, you know, in terms of like, calling them by their first name and things like that, it's a bit more laid back. Obviously, everyone's still very focused, but, you know, in terms of like, calling them by their first name and things like that it's a bit more laid back. The third thing is tea etiquette. This was a big thing. I was like whoa, tea etiquette like you actually learn in conservatoire. You know how many cups of tea you should give people and things like that. And then the fourth thing is everyone is on a different path. I feel in the UK, whereas in the US it's kind of more, everyone has a similar goal, at least in my experience.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but it's so much fun to be here in the UK and studying at the Conservatoire and I'm so excited to kind of share this with you through the podcast, through my social medias, to kind of share this with you through the podcast, through my social medias. You know all of these things. It's absolutely lovely and, yeah, so I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you did, please do show all the love, like, subscribe, comment, share, share with all of your friends, especially the ones if you have any friends who are thinking of going to a different country, studying in a different country, especially if it's the UK or even if it's the US or any other country. Just send it to all of your friends who you think might benefit from this. Yeah, and I hope that you have a lovely rest of your day and I will see you in the next episode. All right, take care. Bye-bye.
