The Confident Musicianing Podcast
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The Confident Musicianing Podcast
"Am I Doing Enough This Summer?"
That is a question that most musicians have asked themselves. Today we tackle that question and the idea of "enough."
This episode has an accompanying blog post. Click here to read.
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Hello and welcome to the Confident Musicianing Podcast. My name is Eleanor and I am a British American oboist studying at the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland literally my dream school and it took me a long way to get there. I applied and auditioned for 12 schools in three different countries. It was a lot of hard work but, oh my gosh, so worth it. I want you to have the confidence to work hard in achieving your goals. So come with me as we go on this journey together. So sit down, pull up a chair, take a seat or, if you're on the go, welcome to the Confident Musicianing Podcast. Hello, hello, hello and welcome back to another episode of the confident musicianing podcast.
Speaker 1:I think this is a really, really good topic for this episode. Um, I have a meaning to kind of talk about this and I think it's really important to talk about. I know at the moment when this episode comes out, it's kind of towards the end of the year and we're starting or the end of the summer and we're starting to kind of think about getting back to if we're in school, getting back to school or whatever we're doing. But I think this is a really kind of important thing to think about, especially when we look back on our summers. So today we're going to be talking about feeling like you aren't doing enough in the summer, or maybe feeling like you don't really know what to do with your summer. Musically, I think this is a problem or a thing, a feeling that we all get at some point us feeling like we are not doing enough in the summer and so I thought why not talk about it? But before we talk about it, let's do a little bit of the life update part of the episode. This is a new thing that I've added in to the episodes where I just share a teensy little thing about my life, a new thing that's been happening that I want to share with you and this week it's not that teensy, it's quite a big thing and that is that I have just finished performing in the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.
Speaker 1:What I like can't even believe that, but I was in a youth orchestra and we performed two concerts in the Edinburgh Fringe and we played Holst's Planets and I was on Cor Anglais. We also played some other pieces. We did what we did in terms of like the woodwinds, so I played the planets and then I also played another piece by Frank Kelly, so it was kind of more of a band piece, but it was so much fun and so interesting. There were, like other instruments that you might not necessarily get in like a band piece, but it was so much fun and so interesting. There were like other um instruments that you might not necessarily get in like a band piece. There was an organ, um, and it was just so much fun. And then we played hosts, planets, full orchestra, all of the planets, straight through. Um, there was, there's a choir in Neptune, so there was a choir, um, it was just such a surreal experience.
Speaker 1:We did kind of an intensive for a week. So for a week I was on the train to Edinburgh every single day, waking up super early, getting back super late, being extremely exhausted but having so much fun. And so we did a week intensive and then we did the concert. And another thing we did in the intensive the day before we did the concert there was a day where the conductor wasn't able to make it, and so what they did instead was we did a day where we learned the Star Wars suite, so like the original music to Star Wars and kind of like the highlights of it, and we learned that, and we learned it in a day and we did the concert that night and honestly, it was so shocking and surprising and in such a good way kind of just how how much we we focused and how much we did put it together because at the end of the day it was truly magical, like it was so so much fun to kind of just really focus on one thing from the beginning of the day to the end and it was so much fun. So, yeah, it was so good. And then we did the host two shows of it and that was truly magical. Honestly, it was crazy because we were in church, we did it in in a church and, um, the acoustic was so boomy and so amazing and you know, it was just like absolutely magical to be inside of it. I was. It was just so much fun. So that is kind of the um, the life update part. I am really grateful to be able to do that and, yeah, it was so much fun and I I'm enjoying telling you about it because it was the best.
Speaker 1:Okay, let's get into the actual kind of content bit of the episode, what the episode is actually about, what you read on the title when you clicked on this episode and that is feeling like you aren't doing enough in summer and not really knowing what to do with your summer. Musically, I felt this. I'm guessing you felt this if you clicked on it. We have all felt this. It's a common experience. I think that's the first thing to understand. It's a common experience. It's not just you. Everyone feels this at some point.
Speaker 1:I think it's worse when you see other people's Instagram pictures of their either holidays or their music retreats. Both can be quite difficult if you're not doing those things. You know, when you go on Instagram and you see your friends or maybe other people, like oh my gosh, I went to Italy this summer, or I went to I don't know Germany or the Bahamas, or I don't know wherever, wherever people go, um, or even like something maybe not, you know, maybe like I mean, for me, I live in the UK, so maybe in the same country, but no matter what, if they went on holiday and there's cute pictures on the internet, we kind of struggled to to not compare ourselves to that, because it's like oh my gosh, I look like they're having so much fun, but in reality, you don't know the entire story, right, you don't know the entire situation. You just see pictures of it. Those are highlights, you know. You don't know what happened before that photo was taken, you don't know what happened after.
Speaker 1:You know, and I feel like social media can be such a highlight reel and that's why I think it's so important for me, at least on my social media, to share, kind of, the lows of being a musician as well as the highs. But social media is a highlight reel and as well, you know, if we think about music retreats or music courses, like I just did a music course and I played in the fringe, you, you know, but I have people on my feed who are, you know, just went to like Germany and played in concerts in Germany, or, you know, did other things, or see, like maybe they saw really big orchestras, like really you know famous orchestras or whatever it is, and's like, oh gosh, you know I should be doing that right. That's just, that's just the feeling of comparison. Or even if someone puts on on the internet about their practicing, a practice photo, maybe while you're on the couch, you know, you're just on the couch just scrolling social media and there's someone who's just put on their story and they're in a practice room and they're they're, they look like you know they're really focusing and you're like, oh, I should be practicing. That is tricky as well. And you just sit at home and you wonder, am I doing enough? Am I doing enough?
Speaker 1:And this summer I have felt this way in some capacity as well. I remember at the beginning of the summer I had a plan I was going to wake up early every morning and study theory and practice and make reads and do more for the podcast and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like I had all of these ideas and I was so excited. And then I realized at that point at the beginning of the summer I had just finished a final recital that I was being graded on and a practice or not a practice, an exam, reset right that I was so stressed about. And I realized I was so exhausted. I was just exhausted. I needed that time to rest. I had no desire to play the oboe, I had no desire to sit in a practice room and focus and focus and focus on rep or whatever it is, and I had no desire to sit and study theory because I was so exhausted and I had to kind of create that shift and be like, oh, you know, I can rest, it's summer, I can rest.
Speaker 1:And yes, I might see on people's highlight reels that they are doing this, that and the other, but maybe they also don't post if they rest. Do you know what I mean? How many? How many? Let's? Okay, let's be honest, let's just do a little full experiment, if you can think about it. How many you know posts have you seen in the past week of people being like today I sat on the couch because I'm so tired, you know? Or today I did not feel like practicing, or today, you know, people don't tend to post that stuff, you know, um and so if we are feeling exhausted and then we see other people and we compare ourselves to them, it's not fair. It's's not fair comparison. And so I was just absolutely exhausted and I found myself finding it really hard to stick to this plan that I had created.
Speaker 1:But then I realized, through my rest in my summer, I was still growing as a person emotionally. Now I know this is kind of a little bit, this is a little bit, I don't know, vulnerable on the internet, but I, this summer as a person, have grown a lot emotionally, have grown a lot. I've kind of I've found myself kind of questioning more of like, um, my, my emotional responses to things and kind of things like that, and kind of working through, kind of grounding myself more, staying in the moment, things like that, because I tend to really just rush, really just rush and want to get better at things and focus on you know goals and just be really, really like I'm a workaholic, okay, and I found that this summer I've been really growing as a person in terms of being able to kind of sit with myself more and sit with my thoughts and sit with you know who I am, and I think that's really important, especially as musicians. We should, we should really value that. Um, and I realized like, yes, I am, I am exhausted musically, and that is okay. I've just finished a year of school at a conservatoire. I can be tired, I'm allowed to be tired, and so are you. You are allowed to be tired. And you know, I realized I was growing emotionally as a person. I was like that that is important as well, you know, and maybe the quietness is important as well. I can grow in the quietness as well, do you know what I mean? And as well, I don't have a teacher right now, like because I am at a conservatoire, my oboe lessons end when the year ends and I think it's kind of harder to stay focused on something when you don't have that check-in. I find that Oval Lessons are really helpful for a check-in and I don't have that right now. And so I've noticed, I've realized, you know, it's okay being tired, being exhausted, taking a break is okay. We are only human, we are okay. But also, you know, I am still trying to do these things that I had set out in the summer. I'm still trying to study theory. I'm still, you know, doing my practicing.
Speaker 1:I did take a bit of a break at the beginning of the summer, but now I'm, you know, getting back into it, doing the practicing, but maybe it's not as robust as I had thought it would be. Maybe it's more about taking that time in the silence, sitting in the moment and just kind of understanding that sometimes it's okay to not be so focused on work and be such a workaholic, because we need to rest, you know. And so, if you are feeling like, what have I done this summer? What have I done this summer? And you are maybe scrolling on social media and you are looking at other musicians and thinking they're doing so many amazing things, you know, and I'm so tired, that's okay. That is okay Because we're all working through this.
Speaker 1:Now it's important to continue working through the summer, obviously, and it's important to keep practicing and I am like I took a break at the beginning of the summer but then I got into oboe, into practicing again and I worked through it and you know, I kind of I have this thing and I think I talked about this on the podcast a few episodes ago but about the um, like what I do every day, so my, my technical practice and then etudes and repertoire and things like that um, and you know I do. It is important to do these things. And also, you know, if you want to do like a summer intensive or summer course, but it's important not to compare our summers to anyone else's summers, because then that ruins our summer and we really don't want that. We really don't want that. So I challenge you this summer to focus on your summer, focus on your practice, focus on your musical growth or whatever growth you feel you need to do this summer, and if you are doing a course, a summer course or anything like that, focus on that, because that is your life and that's amazing. And yes, if you open social media and you see someone else doing something amazing, you might feel the need to compare yourself to them. But I challenge, challenge you, take a deep breath and be like that's their highlight reel and I am excited about my summer. All right, no-transcript want to do that.
Speaker 1:So I think this episode is just a little bit of a check-in. There wasn't really a recap because there wasn't three steps, like like usual, but I think the recap is kind of it's okay. If you feel like you are comparing yourself to other people this summer, it's important not to compare ourselves and it's important to try and work through that comparison. But just to let you know that it's not just you. We all, as musicians, have felt this way at some point and it's okay. It's okay to struggle with this and we're going to work through this and you are going to work through this and I know you are okay. It's going to be okay.
Speaker 1:So, before we end the episode, I just want to let you know about something that is really helpful for me and I want to share with you, and that is a notable practice journal. This is really helpful when structuring my practice and, for instance, in the summer, when we maybe don't have as much structure, using a journal to structure our practice is so, so, so beneficial and helpful. With my notable practice journal, I can not only structure my practice and plan it, but I also have space to reflect on my practice so that I can get better every day. As soon as I realized this was helpful, I knew I needed to tell you about it and I knew I needed to give you a code. So use code LNR15 for 15% off of your journal and let's get into some structured, beneficial practice. You know that I don't recommend anything that I don't absolutely love. This code is an affiliate code, which means I do receive a commission with no extra cost to you.
Speaker 1:Okay, that is about it for this episode. Thank you so much for hanging out with me. Thank you so much for listening. If you did enjoy this episode, please do show all the love Like, subscribe, comment, share, send it to all of your musician friends and I will see you in the next episode. Oh, and also all of the links about this episode are in the show notes, in the description, including the link for getting your notable practice journal and the code. All right, I will see you in the next episode. Take care bye.
