Why Skipping Practice Can Be The Smartest Choice

When I was unwell, I didn't practice. Here is how I showed myself compassion during this time of being unwell. 

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Transcript

Sunny Setup And Welcome

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello and welcome to the Confident Musitioning Podcast. My name is Eleanor and I am a British American oboist studying at the Royal Conservatory of Scotland. Literally my dream school. And it took me a long way to get there. I applied and auditioned for 12 schools in three different countries. It was a lot of hard work. But oh my gosh, so worth it. I want you to have the confidence to work hard in achieving your goals. So come with me as we go on this journey together. So sit down, pull up a chair, take a seat, or if you're on the go, welcome to the Confident Musitioning Podcast. I'm so glad you're here. It is a lovely, lovely sunny day here in Scotland, although the sun is going to go down quite early today. It is winter, which means that the sun comes up quite late and goes down quite early, and I am tired and sick of that, but um I it means that you look forward to when the sun stays up a little longer in the spring and the summer, but today is really sunny, which is a really good thing. Um, it's a nice thing to have. So that's kind of the vibe that we have currently, and I thought, you know, this is a great day to talk to you about something I think is really important to talk about. Um, I recently had kind of an experience where I couldn't really practice for for a few days, and it reminded me like um that I haven't really talked about this on the podcast, and that it is important to talk about, and that's giving yourself grace when you can't practice. When you can practice for a certain amount of time, or maybe you can only practice a little bit, maybe not as much as you have in the past, etc. Um, and not beating yourself up for it because the more you beat yourself up for it, the harder it is to actually get to a place where you can practice more, right? Or the harder it is to practice efficiently with the limited practice time that you have. So that's what this episode is about. So basically, the reason why we're talking about this or the a recent experience I had was I had a week of madness. Um, I started the week with a migraine. I get migraines, um, and when I get migraines, I tend to like it's not just a headache, right? I lose my vision uh partially, um, I get nauseous, I go, I have a really, you know, horrible headache, extreme pain, um I am sensitive to light and to sound, uh, and then you know, after the actual headache part, I feel really lethargic and um just like a shell of myself for a few days afterwards, and so that's what happened. I was going for a walk, and all of a sudden I couldn't see out of one eye, and I thought, oh my gosh, like I know what's gonna happen. I couldn't see out of one eye, so I went right home and I just went to the couch and I fell asleep, and because I knew what was happening, and I knew that if I pushed my body it would be even more painful. Um, and then yeah, and then I was super nauseous, and and then after the actual headache, uh it took two days for me to like well, two days of feeling lethargic, of not being able to focus, of struggling with sound, um, which doesn't help with practicing. And then the day after those two days, I was like, finally, you know, I'm starting to feel better. Um, I can practice now. I got my period. I got my period, and um, when I get my period for at least the first few days, it is so painful. I am in a lot of pain, I struggle to do a lot of things. Um usually those two days are just it's just a write-off, like I can't do anything. Um, and so I couldn't practice. And between like it was, yeah, it was crazy. Like, and at that point, that's basically my week, right? I'm like, okay, well, that was the week, and I didn't practice. I had one oboe lesson that I had to go to, um, and it was really hard because I was in so much pain from cramping from my period. And the thing about oboe playing is when you play the oboe, you kind of you know use your abdominal muscles, which happen to be the muscles that cramp when you are cramping on your period. So it's kind of like you like your muscles are already cramping, you're just making it worse by playing the oboe. You don't get a good sound. This is my experience anyway. I don't get a good sound when I'm cramping like that badly. Um, so that oboe lesson wasn't the best in terms of my playing, but I did learn things and we talked about stuff more kind of theoretically, which was honestly a great way to use that time. Um, and I I'm glad that that's how that went, but yeah, it like that week I really struggled. I really struggled um with the pain and also with the migraine, and it meant that I didn't practice for a few days. Um and for me, I looked back on that and I was like, oh my gosh, like why would I do that? Like I I I I felt I felt quite afraid actually. I felt a lot of fear around I hope that I'm okay, like I'm you know, like have I improved, have I not improved, have I gone backwards, oh my gosh, like starting to worry, being like I I have things to prepare for and this, that, and the other. And that was something that um really kind of stressed me out a bit, and I had to remind myself like I was doing the best I could. My body physically could not play the oboe. I had a migraine and then you know, and then I was having like a lethargic feeling and I couldn't I couldn't listen to like large sounds, big sounds, loud sounds, which an oboe is a big sound. Um, and then I was in pain for a few days and like I I couldn't I couldn't play the oboe, right? And I couldn't even focus, right? My brain was when you have a migraine, your brain is just at least in my experience, so exhausted after it. It just can't I can't focus. I couldn't read words for a while. Like I like my brain can't couldn't focus on a specific thing. So that was something that um that I yeah, I I kind of beat myself up about and I I was worrying, and you know that I think that that's kind of an older habit that I have. If I don't practice, then I'm like, why didn't you practice? But I had to stop myself and and remind myself that you know I was doing my best. I was doing my best, and the best thing for me to do in that time was to not practice because if I had practiced during the migraine, it would have made it worse and it would have made it prolong, um, and it would have made it more painful, and I wouldn't have gotten anything out of the practice session, and it would have made it worse. And for the period um pain, it would also like it the you wouldn't get a good sound, um, and it would make it, it would make it worse. Um and yeah, like yeah, exactly. And so I realized I was thinking, you know, we don't really talk about this a lot when we need to take a maybe like a few days off of our instruments for whatever reason for me it was like medical things, I guess. Um, but like whatever whatever reason, and reminding us to give ourselves grace, and I think there are a few things that I do that I want to talk about that kind of help me. The first is I remind myself that I'm doing the best that I can. I am doing the best that I can in this situation, you know, with the migraine, the best thing that I could do was sleep and allow my body to heal, and with the pain, the best thing I could do was kind of allow like myself to work through that pain and not make it worse by playing the oboe. And so, whatever you're kind of working through, if you need to kind of remind yourself, like you are doing the best you can, and whatever the best thing to do in that situation is, that's what you're doing, and you are doing a good job at it, and maybe it means that you you know you can't really practice at this specific time or whatever it is, that is okay as well, because you know, especially if practicing would make the situation worse, right? Um, for instance, with a migraine or with pain. Um, and so that's that's one thing, and then the other thing that I do is I remind myself that I trust myself to deal with this situation, and when my body is able to practice again and practice to the best of my ability, and that's something I feel like when when I when I get afraid, when I get nervous, I'm like, oh my gosh, you know, I haven't practiced as much as I had hoped to, as I planned to, because obviously I didn't plan for a migraine or for cramps or anything. Um and and so I you know, like I I remind myself, I trust myself that I am gonna be able to deal with the situation, to deal with it with the best of my ability, and also when I feel better, to practice and to practice, you know, in the way that's gonna be the most beneficial to me. I think it's it's important to remember we are humans, and when our bodies say no, we need to respect that, right? We need to respect that when our bodies are like, I'm not up for practicing right now, I can't practice right now. Now, there is something if your let's say your physical body, for instance, if I sometimes I get pain like on with my wrists, um, sometimes my wrist hurts, and I can't play the oboe as much. Um, but my brain is is able to focus in a practice room, then in that case I use mental practice. Mental practice is something really helpful for me. It's something that I do, um, it's a way of practicing without your oboe or your instrument, for me it's an oboe, without your instrument, um, and still getting that practice uh without actually using your instrument for whatever reason, even if you just need to be quiet. Maybe it's like late at night and you have neighbors that are sleeping. Um using mental practice is really helpful. Um, and so I I've done a few episodes about mental practice. I will link the latest one in the show notes in the description, so please do check that out. Um, if that's something that interests you, mental practice. If you are able to, if it fits, using mental practice is a really great tool, but remembering to listen to your body and saying, I trust myself to be able to deal with this situation and to be able to um you know practice well when I am able to. I know it's a hard thing to do. It is a hard thing to do, but it's something that we sometimes have to do because it is the best thing to do, especially if our body says no. So, yeah. This episode is a little bit of a shorter episode, it's kind of just like a a little thing, so that a little reminder, because sometimes we do need this reminder that it is okay to be kind to ourselves, to give ourselves grace, especially when our bodies are not up for playing as much as we usually do, and that is okay. And after I um, you know, felt better after the migraine and the cramps, I was able to go back to practicing. It felt so good to pick up the ovo again and play again, and I am really grateful for that time that I allowed myself to rest because I did need it, and looking back, I was like, I'm so grateful I did that because I was able to come back better than um than if I had, you know, if I if I hadn't stopped or given myself that that break. So um that is about it for this episode. Before we go, I do want to let you know about something that is a really great tool that I use in my practice, um, especially for getting that effective practice session um when you know when my body is able to, and when my body is able to, I am so excited to get that effective session. So the tool that I use is a notable practice journal. Um, this tool is something that honestly has really helped me in my practice. I can plan my practice and also reflect in my practice, and this tool makes it so that I can do both of these things. And so before the practice session, I plan out what I want to do, and afterwards I reflect to make sure that my practice keeps going, keeps getting better and better and better. And yeah, it's an amazing tool that I've been using. So as soon as I realized that it was helping me, I knew I needed to tell you about it, and I knew that I needed to give you a code. So you use code Eleanor15 for 15% off your journal. That is E-L-E-A-N-O-R 15 for 15% off. I don't recommend anything that I don't absolutely love this journal. This code is an affiliate code, which means I do receive a commission with no extra cost to you. Okay, that is about it for this week. I hope that this episode, it was a little bit of a shorter one, but I hope it was helpful in reminding um you that it is okay to give yourself grace, and if your body says no, then the answer is no in terms of practicing, and um you can do the best you can in that situation, and that's all that you can ask yourself for, and it is okay because sometimes we have phases where we need to rest, and that is alright. Alright. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you did, please do like and subscribe, share it with your musician friends, and I will see you in the next episode. Alright, take care.