This Is Where Most Musicians Quit, But Where You Double Down

Most musicians silently quit at this stage, here is how you double down and work through. 

Bet on yourself as a musician and get inside The Confidence Programme. Click here to see what's inside.

Transcript

Why Musicians Quit Midway

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Today, we're talking about a crucial, crucial stage in the growth of a musician to become your most confident self. This part of the growth is where most musicians quit. Most musicians take a look and they go, actually, I don't think this is me. I don't think I'm fit for this, even though they 100% are. They're like, I don't actually think this is gonna work out, and they go back to the start. They quit. But I know that you will stick with it. Because this part is the most crucial part of the journey. And we're gonna get right into it. Welcome to the confident musician podcast. So this part is where most people fall off, give up, say that they tried. They say that they tried because they did. They put in effort, they put in effort to become their most confident self, but then they just realize it's not, they're like, actually, it's harder than I thought, and I just don't think it's for me. And usually it is subconscious. Usually they start negotiating things, they start falling out of patterns that they've built, they start just like slowing down, and before they realize it, they are back at the start. They are back at the start. And I don't want that for you. I truly do not want that for you because this is also, yes, it's the point where most musicians fall off, but it is also the point where if you stick with it, you will build the skills necessary to hold the things you want. Therefore, you will get the things you want. Oh my gosh, I love, by the way, if if you're watching this, I love the um the lighting that's happening in front of me. That was really nice. Okay. Um, anyway. And what

Naming The In Between Phase

SPEAKER_00 1:47

this is, let's put a name to it, is the in-between. It is the point where you are putting in so much effort, but you actually haven't started to see results yet. You are putting in the effort, it might actually feel so extremely uncomfortable because that's another thing. Discomfort, discomfort, we gotta reframe. We gotta reframe discomfort. And we talk about this in the confidence program. Like we reframe, we reframe, hang on, reframe, that's the word. We reframe discomfort to mean something that is proof that we are growing, because it is, but that's where where it is in the in-between. Because what you're doing is you are at a phase, at a point of the journey where yes, you are putting in so much effort, and maybe the motivation has worn off, but you're still putting in effort, but you haven't actually seen results yet. The results haven't happened yet, and that's where most people say, Oh, maybe it's just not for me, and they stop. But this is the part where you are built, where you get built, where you become the version of you who you want to become, because I say this all the time in the confidence program. The musicians in the confidence program, they know this. You are not actually going after the things that you want. You are going after the version of you who can hold those things. If you are not the version of you who can hold the things you want, you will not get the things that you want. It's just how it works. I don't make the rules, it's just how it works. Okay. So, this point, the in-between, is where you build the most. Like you you build, you get built, you you know, you learn the things, you learn the skills in order to get to the point where you can actually have the things, you can hold the things. You are the type of musician who can who can have the things that you want, okay. And that is how it's how you win.

The Bridge Analogy For Progress

SPEAKER_00 3:44

I I like to think of it, it's like a um a bridge, you know. Let's just take it, let's just do an analogy, okay. This is this is a great analogy. I love the idea of a bridge, okay. Let's just say you have a bridge, and on the other side of the bridge is um your goal, whatever you want, okay? And you are on this the this side of the bridge, the other side of the bridge has the goal, and you're like, okay, great, I can see the goal. I want it, I want it really badly, so I'm just gonna go on this bridge. And so you start on ground, you start walking on the bridge, okay? And by the time you get to the middle of the bridge, you are not only not having the goal yet, you you don't have the goal, and you probably don't even have like validation of the goal yet, but you also don't have the grounding that you had at the beginning. You are not on ground anymore. You're on a bridge, and there's probably like water underneath you. There might be a whole river underneath you, and you're looking down, and let's also pretend for the sake of the analogy that you can't actually see ahead of you very well. Like you can see that the goal is there, but maybe it's really foggy and you can't actually see how long the bridge is. And you look down and you're like, oh my gosh, I not only do I not have the goal, but I also am currently suspended over a river. I'm not even grounded how I was at the beginning. I feel my motivation to get to the other side of the bridge stopping because I don't have the validation that that I had at the beginning of like, oh my gosh, I think I can do this. What do I do? And it's a difference between the musicians who go turn turn back and go to you know the other side of the bridge versus the musicians who say, I'm gonna trust the process. Yes, there's no validation yet, but I'm gonna keep going because I know I can. And yes, this is uncomfortable, and yes, there's actually no grounding right now. I don't really feel grounded, I feel suspended over a river, and metaphorically, like oftentimes we do feel like quite suspended over like discomfort, and you just continue, you continue and you continue and you continue and you continue and you learn and you grow and you get there. But you got to be aware of the middle, this middle part, the in-between. You gotta be aware of it. Because it is really important to note because it will always come up. And we have an entire, like in the confidence program, there's an entire section on the in-between. There's a there's an entire module on the idea of when it gets difficult, because in inevitably inevitably, there we go. That's I I can talk, trust me. Inevitably, you will run into challenge, into conflict of you know, in internal conflict, into things you have to face, into hard like things that are difficult. You will, and that's called the in-between. That's that's where your skills are built.

Turning Discomfort Into A Teacher

SPEAKER_00 6:33

So if you right now listening to this, are trying to become that confident version of you, you were desperately trying to, and you're like, why is it hard? Why is it so hard? Like, I feel like I'm trying, but I I'm struggling to actually see the other side, and I'm struggling to get there, and I'm I'm worried and I'm nervous, etc., etc., etc. And you're uncomfortable, you're doing things that you're putting yourself in, like in situations that past you would never put her put themselves in, but you are doing it because you trust the process, but it is uncomfortable. You feel discomfort, that's fine. That's cold growth. That is proof that you are doing it because most people, when they when they hit stuff that's difficult, they turn back, they go, Oh my gosh, it's not for me. And they they they go back. So if you can sit in the in the in-between, ask the in-between what it wants you to learn. What am I learning? Literally just ask, you know, and you can frame this like um like the idea of like asking the universe, you know, what what does it need from you if you're religious? Like the idea of God, like you can you can ask, like, what am I learning? What is the universe teaching me in this moment? How am I being shaped? How am I growing? How am I learning? And that is literally what we do in the confidence program, but it is so much faster because it is actually taught in the program. Okay. But it's like, what is the in-between teaching me? What is what am I learning? How am I being built in this moment? What am I learning? How can I learn from it so that I can continue, I can move. Because discomfort in this process is not something to run away from. In fact, discomfort is perfectly fine. It is honestly encouraged. It is encouraged because it means that you are growing, it means that you are moving. And that's not something to be afraid of. And so I think even if if this episode is anything for you, let it be this. Just a reassurance that if you are still here, you are doing the right thing. Even if it is uncomfortable, you're like, oh my gosh, I'm learning so many different things, I feel like I I'm I'm maybe, maybe even losing things.

What You Might Lose To Grow

SPEAKER_00 8:49

Okay, let's let's talk about that for instance. Like if you are, if your goal is to perform uh more confidently on stage, if your goal is to perform more confidently on stage, and part of performing more confidently confidently on stage is stopping complaining to your friends before every performance. Oh my gosh, I'm so nervous, what do I do? Therefore, your friends might be like, oh my gosh, like they they might they might be complaining amongst themselves, and you have kind of FOMO for that. And you're like, I didn't realize I'd have to go through this. That's fine, that's the in-between. You're learning. But the version of you who has an amazing performance is not the version of you who complains to their friends before every performance, just how nervous you are and kind of fuel that nerve fire. And so you might also lose things like that. And that's fine. Because what do you gain? You gain confidence, you gain yourself, you gain the opportunities you want, you gain the version of you who you are becoming that you want to become. You gain that. And if

How The Confidence Program Helps

SPEAKER_00 9:49

you want to gain it faster, join the confidence program because the musicians in there are units. They are units, they are so strong, they are building their strength as musicians. Okay, the confidence program, it is my signature program. It is how musicians become confident, it is a monthly thing. Um, it is only 98 pounds a month. If you pay annually, it is only 73 pounds. Technically 73.83, like 73 pounds, 83 pence. But basically, it is 73 pounds a month if you pay annually. Compare that to how much you're like, compare that to like lessons, you know, your instrument, your instrument, like lessons for your instrument or or things like that. That's literally that's what it is. 98 pounds a month. Okay, 98 pounds a month to learn how to do this without falling off. Because when we figure this stuff out, like the the truth of the matter is if you watch my content, if you watch my content, if you listen to the podcast, like you'll figure this out. You will, but you'll probably not figure it out fast. You'll probably learn stuff and that's great, and that's what I want. I really this is why I make the podcast. That's what I want. I want you to have a transformation. I want you to become the most confident version of you. That's what I want. But if you want it fast and you want my feedback, because in the confidence program, every single Thursday, I give P like you get to get specific coaching from me every single Thursday in the confidence program. And so if you want to grow fast, if you're like, Eleanor, I am done. I am absolutely done with just figuring this out on my own, not knowing if I'm doing it right. It feels weird, it feels strange. I don't know if this discomfort is good discomfort or not. Like, tell me what to do. Join the confidence program. Okay. The link is in the description. The link is in the show notes. Join it. Okay. That that is where the musicians become confident. So the idea of the in-between, it is what it has to happen in order to build something real. Truly, it is just what has to happen in order to build something real. And the fact that you are here, the fact that you feel this discomfort, and you're like, okay, how do I navigate this? And you ended up on this podcast episode, it means that you are you're doing it, you're working through it. You know, like you're on the right path. And again, if you want to speed up the speed up the path, join the program. But you are on the right path, and so that is really good, and and that's amazing. Okay. I truly, I believe in you. I truly believe in you. And I'm so proud of you for being on the path and continuing, you know, because most musicians feel discomfort and then they just run away from it, even if it's subconscious. And that's another thing. Ask

Reflect, Then Take The Next Step

SPEAKER_00 12:47

yourself, how have I been subconsciously running away from things lately? Because we all do it a little bit. So ask yourself that. Okay. All right, that is about it for the the episode. Um, I if you enjoyed it, please do give it a like. Um, if you're on YouTube, a subscribe, a comment, if you're listening to it on a podcast platform, a review, a follow. If you, if you are done, like if you are done just figuring it out on your own and you're like, I want to learn how to, I wanna do this, I wanna do this fast, and I'm I wanna bet on myself as a musician, join the program. The link is in the description, the link is in the show notes. I will see you there, okay? But other than that, I hope you have a lovely rest of your day, and I will see you next time.