EP. 8 "The freedom to say "yes" to the Lord." Fr. George Staley

Season 3 Episode 7 of the Fishers of Men Podcast "The freedom to say "yes" to the Lord." Fr. George Staley, Associate Pastor at St. Charles Borromeo 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:16

Welcome back to the Fishers of Men podcast. I'm your host, TJ Messler. Today we have a very special guest who's got a lot of things on his resume, a lot of jobs he's taken care of right now, but he's the associate pastor at Baromeo, the Associate Pastor at St. Peter's Catholic Church, and also the director at the Student Center at Lindenwood. So, Father Staley, thank you for joining us today. Very happy to be here. Thank you. Awesome. Do you mind uh starting us in prayer through the intercession of John Viani? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 0:44

In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. Heavenly Father, we praise you and thank you for our faith. And we are so grateful that you have called us to follow you as your disciples. We ask that you pour forth your Holy Spirit upon each one of us, that in the calls that you've given to us, we may respond with generous hearts, that we may not be afraid, but seek to conform our hearts to be more like the heart of your son. Pray in a particular way for all those discerning their vocations, that they may experience clarity, light, guidance, and deep peace. We ask all this through the intercession of St. John Viani. We ask this all ultimately through Christ our Lord. Amen.

SPEAKER_00 1:37

Well, thank you so much, Father Staley. Yeah, you're welcome. So I really appreciate coming on our podcast. We really try to just give awareness to vocations and to learn this vocation story of all of our priests and our religious and how they got to this point. And also ultimately understand that most of them are normal people who've just found a beautiful different vocation. And so can you tell me a little bit about your own vocation story? How did a young George even find himself interested in the priesthood and then go to the seminary and go through all that?

SPEAKER_01 2:07

Yeah, for sure. Yeah, so uh Father George Staley, uh actually born originally in California. That's my fun party fact that I teach people is uh I was born in California, my parents met out there working for a hospital supply company. I was born there, my next brother was born, and then we moved to St. Louis uh because my mom was from here, wanted to raise a family closer to cousins and uncles and stuff like that. So I grew up in De Pair in West St. Louis County. St. Clement of Rome was my home parish. And I grew up there. Uh I had other brothers and sisters. I'm the oldest of five in my family, and grew up just in a really good Catholic household. Uh, we grew up going to church every Sunday. We grew up uh praying together at meals and at home and just had a really positive experience of faith formation in the home. I was homeschooled through grade school, most of grade school, and that provided just such a good foundation for my faith life and for my uh knowledge of the Lord. One of the things that I really appreciated about the homeschooling program that I was in was the ability to see God not just in religion class. And that's something that later on in other types of educational experiences, there always was such a big distinction. It's like, well, you got your religion class here, and then your English class over here, and your math over here, and your science over there. But when I experienced it at home, the curriculum we used just really integrated. It was Colby Academy, and it I could see God in the English stories that we read and the grammatical exercises we do, and in the science that we did. And so that gave me a really good experience of the knowledge of God as I was growing up. Another thing that really was profoundly impacted me when I was growing up was my next oldest brother, Daniel. So I'm the oldest, and then my brother uh Daniel's about a year and a half younger than I am, and he was born with some pretty profound physical and mental disabilities. He has cerebral palsy, uh, he's nonverbal, he has is pretty dependent upon others to provide food, to provide clothing for him. Uh he's somewhat mobile but has limitations, and so growing up with him in the household, I always say he was the powerhouse of grace for the house. Yes. Uh, because he really drew love out of us. Uh that love going outside of ourselves to care for another. And so from a young age, all of us just had to learn to pitch in and learn how to love uh with our hearts. Um, and so that that experience at home was just such a fertile ground for the Lord's invitation for me for things later in life. Um I grew up loving all sorts of things. I grew up loving video games, I was a big sports person, did lots of sports growing up, CYC, soccer, basketball, baseball, loved baseball, wanted to be a baseball player for a long time. Um would imagine myself playing for the Cardinals, getting that last out, you know, getting that last home run in the World Series, you know, uh game seven. And uh yeah, I uh grew up and when I got to my seventh grade year, that was a pretty key year for me in my faith life. In seventh grade was when I received the sacrament of confirmation. So we did it in seventh grade at St. Clement as opposed to eighth grade. So receiving the outpouring of the Holy Spirit in confirmation. I went on that year the Luke 18 retreat, which was the preparation confirmation retreat program, and had just this deep experience of God's personal love for me. Growing up, even with the good formation I had, I always had in my mind as God is this kind of white grandfather-like figure who is way up there, and like what connection does he have with my life? And when I went in this retreat and experienced in a particular way Eucharistic adoration and the person of Jesus, I I I encounter the person of Jesus through that experience, and that he cares about the details of my life, and I he has a face, and I can I can relate to him and he cares about me. And from that experience, I started just growing deeper in my faith life, being more aware. Um that year also uh one of my favorite subjects in school is history. Yes, and uh that year we studied Western European history, and I was just fascinated by God's providence working through these great figures in history, and in a particular way through the church and these great religious orders that preserved civilization during the Dark Ages and that rose to the heights of Christendom and seeing the great saints, it really stirred something in my adolescent heart to something great. And I remember thinking at that time that, well, maybe I feel like I'm called to something, maybe something more. And I thought about priesthood, and that was the first time I ever kind of thought about that as a vocation. Although I will say I always looked back at that time and I laughed because I had no idea what being a priest was. Yeah, absolutely. In fact, actually, the very first time, I'll never forget the first time I ever vocalized wanting to be a priest was the year before when I was in sixth grade. And I was at home and we were doing a reading lesson with my mom, and I just wasn't getting it, like the comp comprehending the story. And finally I just blurted out and I said, Mom, I'm gonna go and become a priest, and school's not gonna matter. Because in my mind, I thought, oh, being a priest is like it's like they just do mass and confession, it's like a two-year trade school. Yeah, like easy stuff, right? Like, what else do they do? Like, super easy. Yeah. So my mom kind of laughed when when I said that. And and when I was in seventh grade, I still didn't know what a priest did, but I knew that my heart in some way was drawn to it. And I continued to think about it when I went in my eighth grade year. I did go to St. Clement Grade School for eighth grade, and that year was also really good. I had good retreat experiences and uh continued to feel the call to priesthood. And then I got to high school and I went to St. Louis Uh for high school. And high school was a great time. I had uh fun, it was challenging, and it was good. Uh when I got to high school, I just got super involved with many things. And I I do think like high schoolers are some of the busiest people on the planet earth. Yes. Because they I mean I went to Su High, so we had three hours minimum of homework every single night. Yes. Uh I was uh three sport athletes, so I did swimming, wrestling, and inline hockey. So I had all those sport seasons and practices and games, and uh so like Monday through Friday was just chalk full of stuff and activities, and then on the weekends I just kind of crash out and I would play video games. And when I was in high school, I also started uh dating someone. I dated someone for about a year and a half and so was engaged in a relationship and time with family and friends, and I I kind of boxed God out a little bit uh when I was in that time. I was still going to mass every Sunday, still going to confession, but I wasn't really praying. I didn't have much of a prayer life talking to the Lord. And I, yeah, in some ways grew a little bit distant and a little bit lukewarm in my relationship with the Lord. But he's so good, and his heart still was pursuing mine. And uh every now and then he would send me these little reminders. I would be at St. Clement and be before one of the masses, and I remember sitting there and praying and feeling this deep sense of peace that where I was was so good. Yeah. That this presence, being here in the church right before mass was so good. And then right after that would be almost this burning that would come to my heart. And I I can remember feeling it in my chest, this burning that there's, but there's something more, and there's something more that my heart wants and longs for and desires. And then I would see the priest come out and walk to the back of church for the start of mass, and I would think, Lord, is is that where you want me? Is that is that where you're calling me? And I would think about have these thoughts that would go during mass and pray with them, and then mass would end, and then you know, classic Catholic family, you know, we'd all get in pile out of the car and then start fighting right away and pushing, and you have my seat, and you know, stop touching me, and all this kind of stuff. And so those thoughts would then quickly go away. But the Lord still would send me those little reminders every now and then. Um but I seriously thought about marriage as I was dating this person, and really my heart longed for um yeah, for family, for kids. Uh, so I was I was pursuing that in a very active way. Fast forward a little bit to my junior year of high school. I was a second semester junior, and life was pretty chaotic. Yeah. So second semester junior, I had to start thinking about college, and that was really starting to stress me out because I had thought for a long time that I wanted to do something, something like be a doctor. Um, I always was fascinated by the human body and health, and but when I was a sophomore in high school, I took a chemistry class and uh never forget I got uh a 38 on one of my chemistry tests. And I remember my teacher asking me, like, is everything okay? Like your parents fighting, you're gonna break up with your girlfriend, something like that. And I was like, no, I just I have no idea what's going on. I just I have no idea what the material is. And sort of think of my life as like, oh, I'm gonna go do the at least chemistry before being a doctor, no thanks. Yeah, exactly. So that was off the table. And um, yeah, so I I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I also came off a really hard sports season, wrestling season. I lost a bunch of weight to make a certain weight class and just kind of wrecked myself physically, emotionally. I was spent and in this low part uh right after that that tough season. And then the person that I was dating at the time, we had dated for a year and a half, but we had just kind of reached a crisis point in the relationship where I recognized that okay, either I can I can really try to force it and make it go and keep going, or this is the doorway out where the Lord is asking me to go somewhere else. And so all this storm, the storm happened as I was preparing for the Luke 18 retreat. So this time I was helping as a high school helper, a disciple, and the talks in the preparation were just hitting me different. I don't even remember what was said, but I just remembered that my heart there was a deepening that was happening in my heart. And so I go then on to the Luke 18 retreat, and uh during the time of Eucharistic adoration on that Saturday night, I just had a deep experience of the Lord's love for me. And I was in adoration, and I and I remember this this clarity, this thought that came to my mind, and I really believe it was the voice of the Lord. And it was the Lord saying to me, He said, George, if you want to be happy in life, I need to be the center of your life. And that changed me. Uh that that experience, and and I had been living this life where the Lord was maybe just a part of my life, but he wasn't really the center of my life.

SPEAKER_02 13:11

Right.

SPEAKER_01 13:12

And after that retreat, the the way in which I saw that, like the Lord being the center of my life, right, was praying every day. That's what putting God at the center was making time to be in relationship with him. And I say the Lord, like the Lord poured out a spirit of prayer into my heart that has continued to this day. Like it's all glory to him. Like I am just filled with a desire to be in relationship and to pray and talk with him every single day. And I don't think I've gone a day where I haven't prayed or talked to him. And um, so I I started coming off that retreat and talking and praying. And prayer, it's it was funny. Prayer didn't look like me sitting in a chapel or you know, experiencing these uh reading scripture. It actually looked like basketball.

SPEAKER_00 14:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:03

And as odd as that sounds, because what would happen as I get home from school, I I cut one of my sports, uh, it was the spring of my junior year, and I get home at the end of the at the end of the day after school, three o'clock, four o'clock in the afternoon, and I would go out to the end of my driveway and I'd lower the basketball hoop to the lowest setting. I'd put it all the way down low, and then I would just be out there and I would be dunking because it was awesome. You'd feel why not? That's the best. I know that kid felt great. And uh but I did it so I didn't have to think about, okay, how do I shoot and make the shot? So it was it be it was the activity was mindless for me in the sense that it freed me to be able to start talking to the Lord as I was playing basketball. And when I was praying, I was talking to the Lord about my desire, the desires of my heart and and listening and and this thing for service and more that I I could see in that was in seed form when I was younger, there was those seeds of service, caring for others, like my brother Daniel, and this desire for more, this burning that was in my heart for more. Those all started coming back up again in that prayer. And I started actively praying and thinking about Lord, are you calling me to be a priest? About a month later, so in April of my junior year, I was at the Easter Vigil, uh, I was serving at the Easter Vigil, and uh the now father Charlie Sampson, who at that time was seminarian Charlie Sampson at St. Clement of Rome Parish, just asked me very casually after the Easter Vigil Mass, hey, what are you thinking about doing after high school? And and I told him, you know, actually I'm I'm thinking about being where you are.

SPEAKER_00 15:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:45

And that was then a link in the chain that he connected me to then Monsignor Edward Rice, the vocation director for the Archdiocese of St. Louis at the time. Yeah. And I scheduled my first meeting with him on the Feast of the Sacred Heart right after right after my junior year and in the summertime. And that's when I first had the first time I've really visited the seminary, and I asked him about priestly life and what does this process look like, and I started learning actually what being a priest was like, and a little more than two years, right?

SPEAKER_00 16:19

A little more than two years. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:21

So I uh yeah, I started then coming around to the seminary. I would visit for their Thursday night mass and discussion times and dinner, and I started getting connected with the retreats that they had, and um, I finally felt called to take out an application in my senior year. And um I took it out on the Feast of the Guardian Angels October the 2nd and really felt the yeah, I think looking back, the protection of the Guardian Angels in that moment. And but even as I was in my senior year, you know, I was pretty oriented towards going to the seminary, but I still had doubt and I still had uncertainty. And I thought, like, well, do I go now? Do I go to college first? Do I, you know, what should I do? Is this too fast? Is you know, and I remember talking about it with others, and and the one thing that the kind of refrain that kind of kept coming is, well, the Lord's calling me now, and he's asking me to do this now. And I'm not, and I looked at it, it's like, I don't, I'm actually really, even if I were to enter now and just do two years, because I thought to myself, give it two years, freshman sophomore year. Let's say, like, after a few years, like you don't like this or you feel this isn't your call. Well, I've done two years at St. Louis University and I can continue there, I can go somewhere else for a university, I'm not behind. Absolutely. Um, so I wasn't really losing anything. In fact, I was gaining because as uh the college director at the time, Monsignor Cronin said, if you give the Lord your first fruits, it will bless you no matter what. And so those first fruits of giving those years uh right after high school in that time of formation, it just felt like it was it was the right thing. And my heart kind of always knew that, yeah, you're gonna be going to the seminary and you're gonna enter into the seminary. And so I did. I entered the seminary right after graduating high school uh in 2010. Um, and uh I entered with Father John Schneier, pastor of faith and uh All Saints here. Uh and I entered and did what ended up being nine years of seminary formation, so uh a lot longer than the two years that I uh had a little bit longer uh when I was younger. Uh and it was an incredibly rich, rewarding, challenging, growing, stretching, loving time, those nine years. And I learned a lot about myself. Uh I had to overcome a lot of obstacles, um, just yeah, personally and communal life and academically and spiritually, and um and I had some doubts even when I was in seminary. Is this is this where I'm being called? Is there something else? You know, I I still had some openness, but uh but I I there was always kind of not long after being there, I kind of realized, you know, I think I'm gonna have challenges, but I do think that I'm gonna end up becoming a priest. And um yeah, I made that final decision and um over time and and was ordained uh a deacon in in May of 2018 and then a priest in May of 2019. So I've been a priest now for six and a half years and and I couldn't be happier. Like I love being a priest. I'm so happy and grateful to the Lord for so many things uh and for calling me and for being able to serve him and to be uh a priest of Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_00 19:42

That's so amazing to hear. I your story is really awesome because I think it can be really easy for a lot of uh, you know, maybe our younger viewers and uh listeners to kind of be able to cla jump into that story and kind of make it feel like their own and relate to it in a way of you know I I couldn't agree more. High schoolers are the busiest people on the planet, all busy, especially in junior year when you get jobs and you're talking about your future and you're also doing a million things and learning how to drive, all of those things all at the same time. And um I just think it's beautiful because every moment in your life that you shared of I'm not totally sure, but I feel this you allowed yourself to pray more and to speak more to God and allow Him to talk to you. Um I think one of the beautiful things I as I was listening to you, the one one of the first things you said is this love for history. And I think that one of those just small moments of a profound sense of the duty of the church throughout history and how the real heroes of the church have have been the priests and the nuns and the saints who have lived throughout history and have shaped the way we live civilization today and understanding that their big impact it's not done, but it's still happening, and we can do it right now. And so tell me a little bit more about you're in the seminary now, you've joined in and you gave yourself two years. Were those two years you got to the end and you're like done, I'm never leaving, or was it like I'm still discerning?

SPEAKER_01 21:25

Yeah, I was pretty I was pretty confident after two years, I was like, all right, like Lord you you need to call me out of this. Like, I do think this is where my heart lies, and I do think this is yeah, the desires you placed in my heart for priesthood, and this is where you're asking me to be. It just there was just a lot of things that um pointed towards that. Later on, I I did have, like, when I was in the theology studies of graduate side, I remember having a particular retreat where it was like, Oh my gosh, we're like back to are we back to square one, like thinking about discernment, and like am I supposed to be here, am I supposed to not? And uh Um but I yeah, n I I would actually say really yeah, within those first two years I kind of knew like I think this is probably where it's going. And but there was peace with that, there was joy, there was the desire for self-gift, the desire for more. Like it it just it just is all oriented that way.

SPEAKER_00 22:18

I think it's a wonderful way for you to look to share that too, because it seems like when you allow God to give you a direction and you fall into that direction, you just find joy and happiness. I think you know, we look at all the statues in our church, and a lot of times they're very solemn and you know, like this, but I think most of our saints were pretty joyful people and very over overwhelmingly happy. And you know, you hear a lot of the stories of the saints where they say, uh, you know, we were able to convert because people said, Why are you so joyful? Right. Especially in times of persecution and all these moments, but it's like when you surrender more, and like you said uh earlier uh in your prayer, you said conformity uh to God's will. Like when you allow that to happen, God can do miracles through you and wonderful things. And I think the most important word you said there was peace. Because uh discernment can be a very overwhelming time of feelings, but when you finally say yes to where he's calling you, the peace comes. And I've heard a lot of stories, you know, over the last couple years of interviewing priests where there was a lot of turmoil back and forth in the seminary, out of the seminary, engaged, not engaged, but when they finally just stopped trying to know the answer and let God be a part of it, the peace came. And I think one of the most beautiful parts of your story is it's all about your relationship and how you're speaking to him. And I love that you said it was through basketball. Yeah, because it's like a lot of people find it difficult that they don't have the time to just sit down and pray the divine office or pray a whole rosary or pray the Anican Creed without looking it up on their phone to make sure they get all the words right or whatever, um, or pray the rosary exactly how you're supposed to pray it, or any of those things, and then they find as stumbling blocks. But like you said, it's like all you need to do is just talk to them, but do it every day.

unknown 24:30

Right.

SPEAKER_00 24:30

Tell me a little bit how about that has either changed or developed since you've become a priest.

SPEAKER_01 24:35

Yeah, uh it it has. Uh in fact, actually, this is a fairly recent development in my spiritual life, but uh kind of starting in November, I started I think I had an experience walking around in a church and praying and talking with the Lord, and I was like, I got together for it. I was like, that was really fruitful. Like that was that was super relational. Like yeah, I had for years just done holy hours just sitting in in the in the chapel, and and I still do, I still dedicate at least 20 minutes to just sitting and being and being still and being quiet and trying to listen. But I've also opened myself up to well, I'm I'm just gonna go walk, walk and talk with the Lord. And for me, it's the experience. There's an old testament figure called Enoch, uh, who is uh very early in the in the scriptures, and it it says in the scriptures that Enoch walked with the Lord, and that is something that captures has captured my heart and is like, yes, like that's what I feel like the Lord's calling me to do in my prayer. So I go out and I go on the kitty trail, and first 20 minutes I pray a rosary, and second 20 minutes I let the Lord ask me how I am, and I tell him about my day, I tell him about my feelings, my thoughts, and everything. And then and then the next 20 minutes I ask the Lord, how are you doing? And then I look at some scripture passages that that might be something that you know I'm working through the Gospel of John right now, and just kind of yeah, it's it's a beautiful, it's become it's just enriched and even more fruitful in the in the relationality and just the being with the Lord. So that's actually very exciting and very fruitful.

SPEAKER_00 26:06

The moment you said that, I immediately thought of Enoch and walking with the Lord. I was like, yes, that's exactly it. And I I I love that you, as you're explaining this convert this beginning of the talk, you you're like, I'm gonna pray the rosary first. I'm gonna prime myself and prime my heart because it can be really difficult to just go from being a priest and living in the dying, the paschal mystery of our world, the line, the dying, living, and rising of our parishioners. You can go from doing a funeral to doing a wedding to doing last rites in 10 minutes, you know, or 10 hours. It's very overwhelming to just go cut. I'm just gonna talk, it's like prime our hearts and prime ourselves. Um, and then the most important part of it, just tell God about yourself. Tell him about your day. The best advice I was ever given by a priest was let him be a part of every single thing you do. If you're having a bad day, let him be a part of that. And if you're having a good day, even more so, let him be a part of it. So uh before we're done here, it's this has been just such a beautiful, fruitful conversation. I would love to have you on again if if it's something you're into. Um if you could give me one sentence that I could share with someone who's discerning the priesthood, what would it be? Just keep putting yourself in front of the Lord.

SPEAKER_01 27:22

That was something that was really key in my own discernment and my own growth in life and faith. My, you know, the end of my in my senior year, ever almost every month or every other month, I was on a retreat, whether it was with my youth group or whether it was with my high school or whatever it was, I kept being in front of the Lord. And I really do think that, and that's what I try to do in my ministry when it comes to vocation promotion, is to just try to put people in front of the Lord, whether that's in adoration or in mass, and just let him be the one that calls and let him be the one that speaks. And and so I that's what I say, keep just keep putting yourself uh in the presence of the Lord.

SPEAKER_00 27:59

If I could, based on the story I just heard, if I could say there's one like key phrase that's put yourself in front of the Lord, I think that's exactly it. Uh Father Staley, do you mind ending us in prayer through the intercession of John Viani? Absolutely. In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

SPEAKER_02 28:13

Amen.

SPEAKER_01 28:15

Good and loving Father, we praise you and thank you for all vocations, for vocations to religious life, to priesthood, to married life, to single life. We're so grateful for the love that it pours out into each of our hearts, and we just ask for more, Lord, that wherever you're calling us, that we not be afraid, but that we respond with generosity. May we experience deep trust and surrender through the intercession of the Blessed Mother of Saint Joseph and of St. John Viani. We ask all this through Christ our Lord. Amen. Thank you, Father.

unknown 28:51

Thank you.