The Price You Pay
Host Natalie Cook, Olympic gold medalist and five-time Olympian, shares the inspiring and untold stories of athletes who face financial obstacles in their pursuit of becoming Olympian's and Paralympian’s.
Discover the sacrifices, challenges, and unwavering determination behind their pursuit of greatness.
Be inspired by their resilience and determination to turn their dreams into reality.
The Price You Pay
From Diving Rejection to Canoe Champion: Caitlyn Bowell's Resilience in the Water
What does it take to keep chasing an Olympic dream when everything seems stacked against you? For Caitlyn Bowell, a 26-year-old sprint canoe champion, it means refusing to take no for an answer—even when that "no" came from her diving coach who arbitrarily decided she was "too old" at just 19.
With a background as a champion gymnast and diver, Caitlyn's pivot to canoe kayak began with a literal splash—falling into bull shark-infested waters on her first attempt to balance in the skinny craft. But that inauspicious beginning was just the first of many obstacles she would face. From moving across the country to train in a program that suddenly folded, to purchasing a secondhand "old man boat" too large for her frame, to training completely alone without coaching guidance, Caitlyn's journey embodies the extraordinary resilience required of Australian athletes chasing green and gold glory.
The emotional core of this episode lies in the beautiful relationship between Caitlyn and her mother Jane (affectionately nicknamed "the Jane Train" for her fierce advocacy). When the family recently lost all their belongings to water damage, creating further financial strain, their mutual support and unwavering belief in each other shines through. As Jane shares through tears, "I don't know what it is, but I just know that you were destined for greatness and destined to go there."
Hope emerges at the episode's conclusion as Caitlyn connects with a Rio Olympian coach establishing a program on the Sunshine Coast—potentially marking a turning point in her journey toward LA 2028. Her story powerfully illustrates why the Aussie Athlete Fund's mission is so crucial: ensuring athletes don't have to sacrifice everything just for the honor of representing Australia. Connect with these inspiring stories by following the podcast and visiting aussieathletefund.com to discover how you can support athletes like Caitlin who give so much while asking for so little in return.
Become a part of our athletes' success stories: Whether its a personal donation, a corporate partnership, a round of golf, or simply by spreading the word, your support has the power to uplift our athletes and inspire countless others!
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My name is Luke Morrison and I'm from the Gurangy Gurangy mob and I wish to acknowledge the lands on which the Price you Pay podcast is being recorded, on the Meeinjin country. I feel the spirits of my Indigenous ancestors having my back as I step into the boxing ring. This podcast pays homage to the tradition of storytelling when it shares athlete journeys and wishes to extend its respect to all Indigenous and Torres Strait Islander peoples.
Nat Cook:Welcome to Season 3 of the Price you Pay podcast hosted by myself, nat Cook, five-time Olympian and gold medalist, alongside our superstar interviewer, sarah Sarah from Chatterbox Media. Through conversations with Aussie Athlete Fund recipients, the truth emerges of what it truly takes to reach the highest echelons of sport in this country. By introducing family and key members of the athlete's journey to the discussion, we uncover the hidden costs and barriers they face, while getting a sense of the impact it has on their communities. Indulge me as I take you on a journey of my legacy project that spurred the creation of this podcast and the need to share these amazing athlete stories. I created the Aussie Athlete Fund to provide our next generation aspiring to or wearing the green and gold with the financial skills, tools, networks and opportunities to take care of their financial well-being. I personally retired after 20 years, $300,000 in debt, two medals, no superannuation, and I don't want that for the next generation. I don't want them to continue to pay a price for the honour to represent our country.
Nat Cook:I'm most proud of the athletes in the Aussie Athlete Fund designing their own initiatives to fundraise. We show them a tool for their fundraising roadmap and then they go about finding the networks, finding the businesses asking people for support along their journey. They get to deal with rejection, they get to deal with success. They have a community, a connected community, so they know they're not alone in this process and I really love how they take ownership for their own journey. And that is what I'm most proud of is to grow the awareness of the fund, but also of these athletes' journeys, to inspire businesses and individuals who have the means to connect with these athlete journeys. They work so hard on the track, in the pool, on the court, to represent this great country and we need people to back their journeys. We need people to get emotionally connected. So that's it. In the short term, I need to raise funds, I need to grow awareness and I need to teach the athletes how to be responsible for their own fundraising journeys.
Nat Cook:In the next seven years towards 32, I want people to know how important the green and gold athlete is for our country and how it not only inspires our next generation of athletes but our businesses and the whole country to lift, to be the best they can be.
Nat Cook:It's so important to share this podcast not only with our athletes, so they have a tool for their fundraising to share their stories with people that might like to back them on the journey, but also so that people know the depth of effort that these athletes go to Not only the athletes, their family and friends and their supporting community to help them rise to represent all of us on a world stage. And I want people to be able to be inspired and motivated, like I am when I hear all these athlete stories, to want to help them fundraise and help them look after their financial well-being. So enjoy listening to the stories, pick one or two that you want to back in and make sure they know that you're supporting them. And now, with complete trust and confidence, I hand over the microphone, and I know that might be hard for you to believe, but I have to go out and fundraise for our athletes. As she continues the conversation, our star interviewer, sarah.
Sarah Maxwell :Today we sit down with state and national sprint canoe champion Bowell, who has her sights firmly set on the LA 2028 Games.
Sarah Maxwell :At only 26 years old, caitlin is a pediatric nurse and has previously been a champion gymnast and diver. When she was told at age 19 that she was too old for her sport of diving, she headed to a Queensland Academy of Sport Identification Day and followed their advice of trying her hand at canoe kayak Whatever it takes to get to the Olympics, she thought, while lunging into a boat that lacks funding and exposure in this country. She's been battling ever since for her dream moving to Adelaide to chase a program and coach that closed up shop, moving back to Brisbane with her parents, only to get into a car accident in 2024 and have her family's entire belongings lost to water damage. These have been some of the roughest times and yet she is not giving up. Welcome, caitlin and Mom Jane, to the Price you Pay podcast. Hello ladies, hello, oh gosh, does it feel weird hearing that like knowing that that's what you've been through in the last little while?
Caitlyn Bowell:A little bit yeah, I felt a bit emotional.
Sarah Maxwell :Right because you're going through it, right, you're, you're in it. So I mean, as I say that I I hope that people really get a vibe of that today. And so, Caitlyn, I want to start with you, because I'd love you to kick us off by describing the day when you first jump into a canoe, when previously you'd been a champion, diver and gymnast. So not the same thing. So how do you jump into a boat like that?
Caitlyn Bowell:I remember my first day was down the Gold Coast at Pizzy Park near the AIS, and I initially thought that I was going to be doing kayaking, so sitting on my bum with a nice double-bladed paddle, you know, going out for a leisurely paddle on the canal. And I got down there and mum and dad were with me and they initially got me on like a stand-up paddleboard. I'm like, okay, this is a bit weird, but we're gonna roll with it. And they bring out this boat that is not wide enough to sit down and they tell me that I need to be in a lunge position and they just push me out and they say, just try and balance. And I immediately fell in and I'm laughing and everyone's like, oh good job, swim back in. And then people start panicking because of the bull sharks in the canal and so I have to swim to the platoon and like launch myself back up so I don't get eaten by a bull shark.
Sarah Maxwell :No, yeah, wait, what do you mean? So they don't tell you that initially they want you in a lunge position on this skinny piece of paper.
Caitlyn Bowell:So they don't tell you that initially they want you in a lunge position on this skinny piece of paper. Yeah, oh, shocked more at the bull sharks than the falling, I didn't. I was like, oh silly old me falling in. You know it was bound to happen, I, you know it's a hard enough thing to balance in a lunge position. And then I pooped my pants when I found out that they were freaking out about the bull sharks, and so I I like Olympics swim, like swimmer was going to the pontoon, trying to get out as quickly as I could.
Sarah Maxwell :Oh my gosh. Yeah, Just because you had previously been a diver in water, it doesn't mean you were anywhere near bull sharks, does it?
Caitlyn Bowell:No, no no, no, no, no, no different.
Sarah Maxwell :So that actually just had me thinking for a sec. The fact that you're in a lunge position is it because the boat?
Caitlyn Bowell:is that thin, like that skinny? Yeah, I think that it's just dynamically made so that it's kind of more streamlined. So the skinnier the boat, the quicker it goes into the water. Um, and because the knees are relatively like, you have a knee block for the base knee that's in the boat and that's, you know, only um, maybe 20, 25 centimeters. So the boat itself doesn't need to be that wide because it's only a knee and a foot in it.
Sarah Maxwell :And as this is a totally different genre than you'd ever been in before, were you in freak out mode after that first session?
Caitlyn Bowell:I think initially yes, because I am a little bit of a perfectionist, so I really like to be good at whatever I'm doing, whether it's, you know, music, sports, and so for me, I fell in a lot starting out and so I was like I just don't think this is, I don't think I'm going to get it. I keep falling and I was getting frustrated. You know why can't I balance? Why, you know, I can do a lunge and I'm really good at balance and I'm I've been balancing all my life through gymnastics and diving. Why can't I do this?
Sarah Maxwell :And then, you know, people had to explain that it's it's a skill that you have to you know, obviously train for and master just to be able to balance in the boat, let alone then sprint 200 meters. So yeah, which has me wondering if, when you got identified for this sport, if your background was part of it, like you say, the ability to, you know, on a balance beam, or whether it's what you do in diving. But I think I would be a little bit irritated at first, I have to say. If that was, if I thought why did they pick this for me? What would you say was the hardest transition to the new sport?
Caitlyn Bowell:Oh goodness, I think probably I mean diving was a physical and mental challenge, obviously in its own kind of world, with 10 metre being a height challenge, and then mentally pushing past those fear boundaries of you know I could seriously hurt myself if I go too close to the platform or if I land wrong.
Caitlyn Bowell:So I think canoeing was a very different kind of physical and mental challenge for me. I had to. You know, it wasn't just doing a dive in five seconds it's over and I get to rest and then recoup for the next round. I have to physically push myself past the point of exhaustion and continue doing a 200 or 500 or a thousand meter race and I can't stop, like you can. But for me I'm like I cannot stop mid-race, even if I'm tired, I have to get to the end, even if it kills me to get there. And even if I'm tired, I have to get to the end, even if it kills me to get there, and even if I fall in past the finish line. So I think that different level of fitness I had to really teach myself how to, you know, go through a sprint and not die midway.
Sarah Maxwell :Yeah, I have so many other questions, but I'm so eager to invite mom onto the call as well and give us some background. So I'd love it if you could sort of give us a view of the early years raising this sporty daughter of yours. And her sister, mackenzie, was sporty as well, wasn't she?
Caitlyn Bowell:Yes, yeah, we were really fortunate that both of the girls loved sport. They both went into gymnastics quite early. Very different mentalities to the sport. So Mackenzie went in and she loved it and had so much fun and enjoyed the friendships and everything that she learned there. She she never took any time really to prepare for tricks because she didn't care if she landed them well, she just wanted to do them and do them for fun. Okay, and then there was Caitlin, who was slightly different, where Caitlin wanted to do it very well the first time and she took it incredibly seriously from the get-go. Um, nothing was ever not I shouldn't say nothing was for fun. It was fun for her if she did it well or if she was able to do it the way she wanted to do it. Um, so it was. It was. It was actually joyful. I loved it. I loved watching both of the kids thrive through sports.
Sarah Maxwell :Um, I love that you're sharing how different they were, because I I think I relate just in your sharing. There I was like I think I know what my mom went through with me a little bit more, but also the fact that you had two very different kids. Were you able to adapt to Caitlin's? It sounds like she had different goals straight away than her sister. Were you able to, as a family, adapt to her goals or keep up with her?
Caitlyn Bowell:yeah, it took a little bit, to be honest, and just because you know, like I guess she wanted to put everything in from the get-go and it took a lot of effort and energy to sort of try to not I don't know, like we didn't want to squash her spirit or desire to do it and do it well, but we wanted her to try and have a little bit of fun.
Caitlyn Bowell:Sure, the challenge for us was that sometimes not very many, but sometimes we would go to competitions and Mackenzie would actually shine and like literally had put no practice or or seriousness into it and she would come home with the medals and Caitlin would miss out on the podium and be. This is so unfair. I try harder, you know, um, so, to be honest, it it was actually quite good for us as well, because we got to explain to both of the girls that you know, like it, you can have fun and still succeed. Yes, and you know, try, and obviously say to Mackenzie you know like it's, you should be determined in what you do, but the fun side's good as well.
Sarah Maxwell :Like it was, it was a balance that's this is so cool determined in what you do, but the fun side's good as well. Like it was, it was a balance. That's this is so cool. I love what you're sharing here, because I have a daughter and her friend that sort of have this dynamic. So, caitlin, I'm curious, early on then with your sister, what did you learn from her Cause I think she was kind of teaching you something quite deep about mindset, but maybe you didn't get it at that time. Do you get it now? Like what was it? Why was she winning medals when you were actually trying harder?
Caitlyn Bowell:I admire. I wish I was like Mackenzie that early on in sport, because you know she would be. Obviously we trained in the same gym and really at similar times too, so it would typically cross over and I would, you know, look over. And I was the type of person I remember when I moved up to one of the squads. I would do the four-hour session and not talk to anyone in my group and people hated me, like I was just shut down. I would do my thing. I was really determined. I'm like, no, I'm not going to talk to anyone. My coach, coach is going to love this. I'm like I'm determined and I'll look over. And my sister's like jumping around and dawdling with people and I'm like, oh my gosh, I can't believe she's doing that.
Caitlyn Bowell:I think I more understood the mindset when we got into diving, because we were able to transition into that sport together as well and I very much initially brought over the same mindset of I don't want to progress to a harder skill until I've nailed this, you know the kind of prerequisite skill first, whereas my sister would be like, oh, you want me to do that?
Caitlyn Bowell:Yeah, sure, let's just chuck it. And I really wish I was able to do that early on. And it wasn't until halfway through my diving career where I was like to do that early on. And it wasn't until halfway through my diving career where I was like you know what, I just need to give it a go, and if I stack it, I stack it If I like, but what if I nail it and what if you know that? Then I was able to do this now, rather than waiting three months to then try it, and so I think it took me a while to understand it and really kind of get in my own groove. But I definitely admired her for that, because it was something that took me a long time to be able to do. And, yeah, still to this day she has that mindset and she's still, you know, exceeding in her own way.
Sarah Maxwell :So so cool, and I, if she was here. I'm sure in a way you're both so learning from each other because you're still persisting. You know you're, you're just like a dog with a bone going for it. So on that note, caitlin told me, mom, that your nickname is the Jane Train. So we might be getting where the dog with the bone comes. But I did wonder what parts of yourself that you see in Caitlin when it comes to persevering in her sport dream.
Caitlyn Bowell:Well, firstly, she shouldn't have spoken about that.
Sarah Maxwell :I heard everybody knows about the train, so come on, let us in.
Mum Jane:I do have a little bit of a nickname amongst people. I've been a person that will advocate for things when things are either unjust or unfair. Initially, to be honest, it only started with myself and my husband. We had a house that we'd purchased and something went wrong and the builder refused to fix it. So I I had to go to the lengths that I had to go to, sure, which did end up going to the media and on tv and I hated it. It was, I was honestly. It was the day I grew courage. I was only 21. Wow, and from that moment onwards, honestly, I will fight every battle for anyone. Actually, about a year and a half ago, I fought a battle for a stranger on Facebook that she'd had car troubles and her engine had died. So I told her that I would help her and got her a brand new engine for nothing outside of warranty. Um, you know, because I hate injustice with a passion, yeah, got it um.
Mum Jane:So, unfortunately, both of my kids have grown up because, as I said, it was 21 when I started this and um, they've both been there for the ride. They've pretty much seen. I do keep a spreadsheet, but they've seen every case I fight.
Mum Jane:They're all in on it and, to be honest, I feel like it has actually benefited both of them because they are both like that, like if they see anyone in any capacity that needs help, they are the first to jump in. They are you know, um, in terms of how it's helped with their sport. I I definitely think I can see it in caitlin's a lot um the day that mackenzie so mackenzie was the original um one that asked us to move from gymnastics to diving okay, wanted to go try diving. There was a trial day on um, so we registered her. We asked Caitlin if she wanted to and she was adamant no, gymnastics is my, you know, and we're like okay, that's fine. Um.
Mum Jane:So the night before the trial it was um. Mackenzie then started crying and she was really upset. She didn't want to go on her own, she didn't know anyone. So she said can Caitlin please come with me just to do the trial, just so that I have someone there that you know, knows me and will talk to me. So I asked Caitlin if she would and she was like of course I will.
Mum Jane:You know, so anyway, I asked the diving astray if Caitlin could come, and they they were okay with it. Anyway, when we dropped girls off, we weren't allowed to go in, and anyway, when they both came out, mackenzie was loving it like absolutely beside herself, and Caitlin came over and she said Mum, I want to quit gymnastics. I think I've found my home, wow. And I went, what? Like she was travelling, I think the following week to go to nationals for gymnastics or national clubs for gymnastics, wow. And I set out like what you know. So, to be honest, at first I was a little bit hesitant, sure, not to say whether we would let her. It's her decision, but the timing just was not ideal because we'd already paid everything to get away and what have you, and anyway. So we went down to national clubs and Caitlin did her first day and I think she didn't have a great day.
Luke Morrison:No.
Caitlyn Bowell:And I said to her are you sure you want to quit? Like this is. You know, this is the first year you've made it here and you know. And, to be honest, I probably said the wrong thing, because I said do you want to really leave after this comp? Like it's not been a really great one? Yeah, people might think that you're leaving because you haven't sure. And um, anyway, she had one final day of competition and the next day, I remember, she walked off the floor and went how did I go today? And I looked it up and I couldn't find her name. And I'm scrolling up and down on my phone. I'm like I have no idea, you're not there. And anyway, she took my phone out of my hand and she scrolled all the way to the top and she was first. She said now can I quit? Oh my God. And honestly, she literally quit that day. She.
Sarah Maxwell :Kayla, that is, that is a wild story, when. So this is really interesting because I did want to ask you about what it felt like when they said you were too old for diving, and now we hear this inception story of when you felt like it was your home, so that then puts even more weight on that question. I want to know. So what happens at 19 then, when you've made it your home for all those years and then someone outside of yourself tells you you're too old?
Caitlyn Bowell:I still kind of get emotional about it, because it was. I was just shocked. I didn't realize that there was an age cap on success or hard work or anything like that. I thought I was turning up every day and I was giving it my all and I was doing better than some of the people that I was competing against. So in my mind I was like I'm showing you everything that I've got and I'm doing really well on the comp stage and um, I'm, you know, determined to learn new tricks and everything like that.
Caitlyn Bowell:And so I got pulled into a meeting before a training session and just got told, sorry to say, but you're 20. I said, oh, I'm 19. I'll be 20 this year, so you're out, it's too old, it's too old for me. I said what do you mean it's too old? And he just said 20 is my age limit and you've hit it. I said what do you mean? It's it's too old? And he just said 20 is my age limit. So, and you've hit it.
Caitlyn Bowell:I said, but I'm not 20 for a couple of months, like, surely you can give me a couple months. And I'm sitting there trying to like barter with this sure lifeline of going, but this is all I've got, come on, give me, you know, those extra six months that I'm entitled to come on. And um, I was dropped then and there on the spot and and we kind of went back and forth and it basically very short story ended with the coach saying that he's been proved wrong before when he's told another girl in another country that she was too old and she proved him wrong. And I said well, wouldn't that tell you that you might be wrong now? And he said, oh yeah, you've got me there, but you're still out, kind of thing, and I was just devastated, I think.
Sarah Maxwell :What a ridiculous story to tell right at that moment too, like it's not even powerful to say that.
Caitlyn Bowell:Yeah, I think it's been really hard to kind of understand a program to pick age over results or someone's work ethic, because I think a lot of the time, you know, hard work beats talent. Every day, every day, and I was one of the hardest workers in my in my eyes. I turned up every day and I tried, I pushed through injuries and I would come in day, day in, day out and try and push myself to be the best.
Caitlyn Bowell:So it still kind of shocks me that age is even a factor in it because a lot of the women in the sport, you know Melissa Wu is a legend and someone that I very much looked up to and you know she peaked in her late 20s, early 30s. So to me I'm like, what do you mean? I mean 1920, is this cutoff? But yeah, it definitely took me. I'm like, what do you mean? 19, 20, is this cutoff? But yeah, it definitely took me. Like it still shocks me today. But I think in the moment it shocked us all and really upset very down in the dumps, thought my Olympic dream was over.
Sarah Maxwell :How long did you sit with that, when you thinking it was over before you switched gears?
Caitlyn Bowell:I don't how, I don't even know how soon I tried to block that out it literally changed it's a blur yeah it, it honestly is.
Caitlyn Bowell:I think I, um, unfortunately went through a lot of, a lot of positives but a lot of negatives in that sport for me and I think my own coping mechanism has blurred a lot of that out, because it was just awful and I don't wish that on anyone and I'm trying to, as a diving coach now and obviously as an athlete in another sport, just instill a lot of positive energy into the kids that I coach, because I know how much that negativity can impact a person inside a sporting court or inside the water and also outside, and I wouldn't push that upon anyone. So I'm trying to reverse the wrongs and help as much of the younger generation as I can. But, um, yeah, I don't know how quick the turnaround was to go to the scouting day.
Caitlyn Bowell:I think it was in terms of the actual process of going to the day. That was, I think, maybe a month or two, but how long it affected her was significant. It was a very long time, like I actually think it actually still does.
Sarah Maxwell :I was actually just feeling it there too, mum. I think we're, and rightly so it's. It's like your dream and knowing even your personality that you've always had. It's like that's the only way you know how to make it. And then someone tells you that it's just you just have no control. Yeah, in that moment you reminded of me, almost of like an actress. When you hear about female actresses being told you're too old, you know just just like that doesn't matter, and just the helplessness yeah, you must feel when being told that somebody.
Caitlyn Bowell:I think the hardest part with diving is that it's not like swimming, where you can just go to another pool or another club. With diving there, there literally is no option. Once the coach has put an end to your career there, you have nowhere to go. You can't just go and dive somewhere else because there's not the facilities, um, and there's. There's no coaching, um, and even if she can, even things like their selection policies it actually states you have to be a member of the national squad to be able to be selected, so you can't be that if you're not inside the system. So gosh, just it's, uh, it. That made it harder because she couldn't just say well, I will prove you wrong, yeah there was no vehicle to prove him wrong.
Sarah Maxwell :Yeah, that's, oh my gosh. Thank you for sharing that, because it's um. But I also love what you said about how you're making a difference for other people, which is really beautiful. So, mom, when she makes this switch, you know, all of a sudden canoes there and she's falling in with bull sharks and all of a sudden she's got more than a bathing suit to pay for. She's got more than a bathing suit to pay for. Obviously, there are other expenses with diving, but what did you think about the expenses part of things?
Caitlyn Bowell:To be honest, it was a huge stress, not just because the boat is expensive in itself but because training was the Gold Coast. So you know the commute down there every day, twice a day, the having to transport a boat. So instead of just hopping on a plane and going to a competition with a backpack and a pair of swimmers, we have to organise a boat to be transported down there. And I always say the paddle it's got to be booked as extra bad, like it's all those other little things that create, I guess, a bigger logistical challenge and a bigger financial challenge. So I did stress a lot about it originally. Um, hugely actually, because it was, it was really big. You know, like it was such a difference in thinking that it was diving wasn't cheap, but it wasn't you know half thousand dollars for a boat.
Sarah Maxwell :And so then, mum, add this whole, this last year of losing all your belongings to water damage. I mean, one day you're helping a woman with a new motor for her car, and now it's on your doorstep. With a new motor for her car, and now it's on your doorstep. How hard has it been, with that going on and also knowing that your daughter has her own struggles within her sporting dream.
Caitlyn Bowell:To be honest, it's probably been the hardest year of our life. I've been a bit of a crazy person a couple of times where sleep has been non-existent and I've just sat there trying to work on fighting our insurer. But it's been hard, I think, mentally. More so because one of the things that my husband and I like we both come from single-parent families and like I've lost my mum and he's actually lost his dad as well.
Caitlyn Bowell:So for us we'd always said that we would do everything that we can to give our kids the best, because we knew what it was like to grow up in not poverty, but where times were very tough. So we never have asked for anything from our kids. We would never even contemplate charging them rent or like bills or, you know, like phone bills I think I paid for until about a year ago and then, when all of this happened I guess the kids have seen what a financial stress it has been on us and it's been very difficult to hear them try to say what can we do to help like I'll probably get emotional saying it because that has probably been the hardest part is but I think, I think it's, I think it's been a a good moment because of how generous and how compromising and all the sacrifices that mum and dad have done, it's been really like heartfelt that I can actually give them like, let me, let me help you.
Caitlyn Bowell:I'm, you know, I've got a good job and I've tried to save from all of the sacrifices that you guys have made and you know, but you have things that you're meant to be doing with that money.
Caitlyn Bowell:And that's the thing, like I feel, as though you know, in terms of we've done everything we can to put them through really good schools and to to let them chase whatever dreams they've had, you know, whether it be sport or, you know, whatever anything that's come along. We're just singing lessons like we've just never wanted to. I need to be a barrier for them, and it's been hard the last 12 months because every time, like if Caitlin says, oh, listen, oh, oh, um, I've done this, or I've gone and oh, I've made dinner this week, or whatever the case is, I think your money is meant to be to help you get that new boat that she needs, because she's in a boat. That's just, it's a man's boat, it's assigned to your weight, so it's like for someone 30 kilos heavier than her, and so I don't want to send her her money because I want her to be able to actually get the boat or the next step. So it's been mentally hard to think that we can't now help her a bit more to get there.
Sarah Maxwell :But you know, mum, I'll tell you something.
Caitlyn Bowell:just watching this from the outside, it's like you've given, like the heart that you are, she's now doing it, and she says that to me all the time and honestly, it breaks my heart because, you know, I probably am even understating how hard the last 12 months have been and I don't take generosity well. When people try to help me, I'm very hard on myself. When people try to help me, I'm very hard on myself, but it has been genuinely just beautiful to see my kids be the way that they are. You know, it is a moment where my husband knows that they're going like well, we are so proud, but no, we are so proud that you're a lovely person, but no, but we can't accept your kindness.
Sarah Maxwell :But I was sharing, sharing like I met your daughter first without you there, and I said to Nat I said, nat, she's got a goal, but her bigger driver and her bigger dream is for her family and it's so beautiful because you've given her that and I think it's amazing how it's all going to work out because of that. It's not like, oh, I have to give up this for that. I think it's just incredible to raise a good, human mom. And so you know, in that, when I'm thinking about all that, caitlin, because you've been before the belongings, before this with your mom, you're in the program in Adelaide and it folds, you know. So there's no, there's no coach, there's no boat. What allows you to keep the faith and plugging away like you do, and do you contemplate quitting ever?
Caitlyn Bowell:A hundred percent, I think when, when I got accepted into the Adelaide program, I thought this is it, like this is the moment that I've been training, for I haven't been in the sport too long, but I've, I've earned it and they've said I've deserved it. I get a boat, I get a coach, like there's hope, I have structure, and then you know, a year later, there's no coach, no club. There's um, another athlete who said that they could help out, but it's going to be $400 a week and I didn't have that money. None of us really did. And so for a moment there there was an extended break where I'm living in Adelaide, paying rent without a full-time job, and I'm barely staying afloat and I've just gone. I don't think this is realistic to keep going like this. And so I had to make the hard decision to move back home. Couldn't take the boat with me, because it was. You come to Adelaide and you get the boat there.
Caitlyn Bowell:So, yeah, it was a really hard one. I felt like I had disappointed a lot of people, as well as myself, because it was like I had failed even though in the moment it wasn't me who stopped the program, it was other stuff as well as myself, because it was like I had failed, even though in the moment I you know it wasn't me who stopped the program, it was other stuff, but yeah. So I had a bit of a break and it just got to a moment where I just said I, I don't like that, I'm not doing any work towards my Olympic dream and I I still. I just feel it in my gut, I need to be there. And mom's always said it to me she goes, I can just she goes. I don't know what it is, but I just know that you were like destined for greatness and destined to go there. I agree, I feel it and.
Caitlyn Bowell:I sit down and go. I don't know what you're seeing, but you know I went. You know what? No, I really I need to do this. I know I really want to do it, and so I bought a $600 second hand old man boat that is too big and rusty and falling at the floorboards, but it was the only thing I could get my hands on, so it had to work oh my gosh and you didn't have a coach.
Caitlyn Bowell:No, no, I have been doing it on my, my lonesome um, which has been a little bit of its own mental challenge to turn up and try and drive the 45 minutes down to the gold coast but then not have anyone to train with and not have anyone to bounce off. Or even if you're having a really bad day and you really don't want to go to training or work, you know that there's going to be other people there that will uplift it and you know, oh, see this so and so and oh, it's going to be such a good day with them. You know the patients make it better there or my teammates make it better here, but I don't really have that.
Sarah Maxwell :I think it's time that your sister pay back the favor you showed up at diving, just saying she needs to just come chill on the beach while I do that. I know she needs to lunge. Yeah, you can lunge the other side and you guys can chat, exactly yeah.
Caitlyn Bowell:I'd be like you, just paddle, and she can have a little donut or something, and just paddle next to me.
Sarah Maxwell :Perfect, she can have drinks, margarita yes, yeah, right on, oh, but there is some hope. So this is a thing I'm with your mom, there is something destined about you and I hope you feel it too, because there's almost feels a bit miraculous if you.
Caitlyn Bowell:There's a little hope in your corner these days what's going on well, I was very fortunate enough, two weeks now, a week and a half ago, um.
Caitlyn Bowell:So through the Aussie Athlete Fund and through Nat, I met a coach who's just moved over from Japan with his family and um he's a Rio Olympian and um he's creating a program up at Kiwana, at the Sunshine Coast, and so that in itself I hear coaching canoe and I'm like I will travel wherever he is and I will get there.
Caitlyn Bowell:And yeah, I met up with them and they're so lovely. It's a husband and wife that started the program and then they've brought on Frank, who's the coach, and just talking to him I'm like these are my goals, you know, and he wants to completely start again and just rebuild me as a canoe athlete because, unfortunately, not having that coach, you know you might develop bad habits and you don't really have someone who's bringing up all of the things that they look for in canoe and can get you the speed and precision that you need. Said to him, I said you do what you need to do and I will turn up and I will do it. You know blood, sweat and tears. You just tell me what I need and you know I'll change it and I'll be what you need and um, we've recorded the potential of getting a new boat as well, which is fantastic, and more old man boat.
Sarah Maxwell :I know more old man boat say goodbye. Should we burn it together? That'd be fun. Strip it for parts key chains or something it's a memorabilia of this hard time.
Caitlyn Bowell:But, um, yeah, so in itself it just I was feeling quite low before that, not knowing is there going to be a coach? Because there's no real, no real program. It's not really supported as much as kayak. Obviously there's, you know, not as many participants in it, so it's completely understandable why there wouldn't be that program. Um, but this club at kawana is wanting to go from grassroots to obviously elite and I was like I'm your lady, please, you know, let me in.
Caitlyn Bowell:I'll come back to you um, I will be there.
Caitlyn Bowell:Yeah, exactly I love the nursing side and training side, um, so I think I'll just, you know, give myself a couple days off at the end of the week so that I can go up, stay at the coast train as many times as he needs me to be.
Sarah Maxwell :Yeah do you know, when I hear your story, it's so inspiring for anyone going for a goal or a dream. And, and just to bring this full circle, when mom was describing you and your sister, I was thinking about how this is what you're teaching her like staying in a game longer than anybody else, and it's going to be the same for you, mom, with the insurers, or all these times you stay in the conversation longer than anyone else is willing to do it, and I truly believe that the best stuff comes, the magic comes, and I just thank you for sharing that last bit too. You made me think about Nat training alone.
Sarah Maxwell :So beach volleyball, obviously two on two, had no partner at the time and she used to to train, she put like a chair on the other side of the court and there was this one day where it was raining the coat. There was no coach that day, so she was doing some drill and I was up top and I just filmed her running around with this chair, pretending that there's somebody else there, and, and I promise you, even though there had been a lot of success up until that point, it's like those are the dark. Those are the dark days, caitlin and you've had a lot of them and the light started to shine on that again and I feel that's coming for you as well. It's the sunshine coast, it's the, it's like it's like it's happening Exactly.
Sarah Maxwell :Oh gosh. Lovely story though, yeah, isn't it? And that's your story. You have, you're building that same thing, and you have a really radiant personality and just what you're showing people. If you just stay in the game long enough, good stuff will come, and that is to both of you. I really want to acknowledge you for sharing hard stuff. I think your mother-daughter relationship is inspiring and beautiful, and even oftentimes in struggle, you know you really show who you are. So thank you so much. Thank you. Yeah, love you. I love you more.
Nat Cook:Thank you for joining us on another episode of the Price you Pay podcast. We hope we've inspired you with the insider's look of the challenges faced by our aspiring athletes, the highs and lows of playing sports at such an elite level and what's possible when you're so devoted to your craft. It's our mission at the Aussie Athlete Fund to create a sustainable funding model to support our athletes for both their financial well-being and education for their own athlete economy. To be part of the journey, please visit our website at wwwaussieathletefundcom and choose how you would like to be involved, Whether that's as a corporate partner, teaming up with an athlete in the Million Dollar Challenge or hosting your very own event to help raise funds. Choose your own adventure.
Nat Cook:The Aussie Athlete Fund mission, or even an episode, is how we grow and expand the reach we have in supporting these young athletes. Be a part of changing the narrative. And one last thing press the follow button and rate us for Season 3 so these stories can travel further and wider. Be sure to join us next time for more captivating stories of triumph and resilience on the next episode of the Price you Pay.
