S2 Ep 5 Tracy & Eddy "Sugar We're Goin' Down"

Imagine having three weddings to the same person. Luckily these two said I do on every occasion. Tracy and Eddy met when they were just fresh faced immigrants to New York City. When Tracy moved in to an apartment with Eddy and two other guys, it was the last thing on her mind that she would end up meeting the love of her life. But as the song goes they were going down swinging and it took just two weeks to make the jump from roommates to lovers.

In this episode we talk about getting married in Las Vegas while enjoying a emo music festival with their close friends, custom designing a wedding dress and engagement ring that tells a story, friends who are more like family, and how to navigate the mishaps of wedding planning. 

Thinking of doing a destination wedding? Hear how Tracy and Eddy scouted their venues, transported their friends and family, and worked with vendors they loved to curate a gorgeous three day soiree in the south of France.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

And I think the approach that we wanted to take with the whole wedding was we really wanted it to be about everyone else because I feel like as a couple, you have so many moments to yourself. So we feel our love every day all the time. But there's so many people that have have supported our journey or have been involved in so many moments throughout the seven years that we've been together now. And it was really important for us that if we were going to have a wedding, it was to honor all of these people that have been such a big part of our lives.

SPEAKER_03 0:51

Something borrowed, something blue, something emo, something true. I think that's how it goes. Do you, Tracy, take Eddie to be your lawfully wedded partner in life? Spoiler alert, they both did. Hi, I'm your officiant, Nick Lockhart, host and creator of the Love Department. This summer I actually had the privilege of officiating today's guest's wedding. This was my first time officiating, and I'm now taking bookings for your next ceremony. Tracy and Eddie's first meeting went a little bit like an episode of New Girl. She moved into an apartment with three guys, one of which was her future husband. They've been together for almost seven years now, and though they started as roommates, eventually these two emo kids from different parts of the world finally made it official and went on to have one of the coolest three wedding ceremonies of all time. In this episode, we talk about planning a destination wedding and gathering family and friends for a weekend-long party. Designing a knockout dress, as well as how to win your wedding when outside circumstances threaten a successful day after months of planning. Just a note, you might hear a cute scuffle or sigh in the background. That's Ray, Tracy and Eddie's dog. She's a very important part of this episode: Wedding and Family. I'm really, really lucky to have seen them pull off not just one, but three weddings. And even more lucky to call them friends. Welcome to the love department, Tracy and Eddie. So I think you both did it extremely, extremely well.

SPEAKER_01 3:00

There will always be things that go wrong.

unknown 3:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:03

And I feel like for me at least, I tried really hard not to let the small things get in the way of the bigger picture. Because I mean, who cares if the flowers are wrong or if there's a missing plate or something like that? 90% of it went right. So you gotta look at the bigger picture of it all.

SPEAKER_00 3:26

And the stories make the day.

SPEAKER_01 3:27

The stories make the day.

SPEAKER_00 3:29

So we we tell this slightly differently. First of all, we we met on Spare Room. That was our dating app of choice. Um we were both fresh faced kind of New Yorkers. We both moved here in 2017. I had found an apartment and locked in two other guys, and we were looking for one more person. And it just so happened that my uh real estate broker kind of introduced Tracy to me. We met at a Starbucks. We went upstairs. Tracy can't remember any of this because she assumes that I came from work, but it was a Saturday, so interesting times. Um, and within the first half an hour of talking, Trace ran upstairs to that leasing office, signed a lease, and and the rest is history. I'll do my version now. And then your version of it. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:16

That's a very quaint version of it. Yes. I actually answered an ad from street easy, not spare room. And I already had an apartment lined up because I was 25, I literally just moved to New York, and I was ready to be single and take on this city because I'd heard so much about the dating life. So I had this beautiful studio on the upper west side, hardwood floors, fireplace, perfection. And I was ready to sign that, and I had one more listing for the day, and it was this modern apartment in the financial district, but it was close to work. And I saw it, it was great, but it was too modern for me. It also came with three other roommates, and I just wasn't convinced because this was not the life I wanted. It wasn't your carry bread, it was not part of the vision. And the broker just kept insisting that I meet this roommate who's here and he'll be like 10 minutes. Um, just talk to him, see what happens. And I'm really trying to get out of this conversation because I've already made up my mind. I don't care, I don't want this apartment, I just want to go up to the upper west side and sign this lease. Um, so I wait outside this building. It smells like dog pissed because it's like mid-August. I hate everything about this situation, waiting for this guy to show up that I don't even care, and I'm just gonna meet him for five minutes and say no. So eventually he comes all flustered. We go to the Starbucks. I did have a conversation for 30 minutes and did technically sign the lease after, yes. Was I in love with you after 30 minutes? No, I was not.

SPEAKER_00 6:07

No, that came two weeks after.

SPEAKER_01 6:09

Only two?

SPEAKER_02 6:10

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 6:14

How do you go from roommates to lovers?

SPEAKER_01 6:18

I think we just instantly fit so well. Instantly clicked, I think.

SPEAKER_00 6:24

The craziest part of this story is that it's not the two of us that actually figured this one out. So we did all of the lease signing, and I like to joke that that was the moment that Trace fell for me. Realistically, we were both looking at each other as roommates. But we had gone to the bank probably two days afterwards to just withdraw our money for the deposit, all of that good admin. At that point, I met Trace's brother at the bank, and we'd been together again maybe another half an hour. He left that meeting with a very strong conviction that Trace had met the man that she was going to marry. Wow. Um, we had no idea. It took us another kind of two weeks, two weeks of intense conversation. You know, we were spending every waking hour not at work, just kind of chatting together, kind of like diving into each other's lives.

SPEAKER_01 7:22

I feel like even our neighbors or the very new friends that we were making constantly were like, oh, so how long have you guys been together? How long have you known each other? Tell us your story. And it's like, no, we're just friends. We've literally just met, brand new at this. Barely friends yet. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:41

Barely friends.

SPEAKER_01 7:42

I don't even know his last name.

SPEAKER_00 7:44

No. Um, but but that chemistry was fire.

SPEAKER_01 7:48

Everyone we met was like the first words were chemistry, chemistry, chemistry, chemistry. Wow. Is it still there after seven years? No.

SPEAKER_00 7:57

Oh, it's gone.

SPEAKER_01 7:59

Destroyed. No love left at all. At all. Zero.

SPEAKER_00 8:05

A pure loveless marriage over on this side.

SPEAKER_01 8:08

No, I think it's very much there. I think it evolves through the years and it deepens because you get to know each other and appreciate other.

SPEAKER_00 8:20

Such a deep way.

SPEAKER_01 8:21

It's just so hard to picture my life without you. And I feel like you would feel the same. It's just, it doesn't exist and it doesn't make sense. It's a completely different version. Yeah, exactly. Right.

SPEAKER_03 8:35

It's like it, I mean, it would be like a I don't know, like a doppelganger walking around.

SPEAKER_00 8:40

No, sliding door situation. I mean, again, 100%. Like, um, I always say this, and and again, I'm sure this sounds cheesy, but I have no New York without Trace. And Trace has no New York without me because we met each other essentially day one.

SPEAKER_02 8:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:55

Um, so everything that I love about New York is inherently, in some way or another, kind of intertwined with everything that we've done together as well.

SPEAKER_03 9:06

I love that. Fun fact, they were actually supposed to move to New York on the exact same day, but Tracy's travel plans got delayed. And here we are, seven years later, and they're still renting the same apartment. They've never lived apart. Listen to them tell us a little bit about where they're from and how they grew up.

SPEAKER_01 9:37

I grew up in India and then I moved to Australia. I think we we grew up with different financial situations as well. But there's a lot of similarities as well because he's he's two brothers and one sister, and we're two brothers, one sister. We're both the oldest. Yeah. So a lot of a lot of similarities. Um, our mums are also very similar in the way they chose to bring us up. Um, there's a lot of similarities with Asian Indian culture as well. We both value food tremendously. Tremendously.

SPEAKER_00 10:15

But yeah, I mean, at the same time, kind of, you know, I grew up in the UK, you grew up in India and Australia, there's a huge amount of differences kind of that came out of those things as well. But also at the same time, like we both made our way to New York, the just melting part of cultures here, and I think that's really kind of one of the big things that got out is kind of we were both raised in similar enough ways that we were looking for that kind of hodgepodge and that kind of hustle and bustle.

SPEAKER_03 10:43

Who said I love you first? I have I have a suspicion that it was probably you.

SPEAKER_00 10:47

Wait. Um I I can confirm it was me. But I also think that you were somewhat waiting for me to say.

SPEAKER_01 10:55

I'm constantly waiting for you. Yeah. I go a thousand miles because I just go with gut feeling, and I feel like Eddie really likes to play logistical. Yeah. It took me like And cautious with that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_00 11:13

Again, actually, the funniest thing about this story is that it took me a decent amount of time to physically say I love you. But as we look back, I think one of the key moments of when we actually said I love you without saying I love you, is every day we would leave our apartment and we'd be like, I'll see you later, XOXO. And every single day without fail, we would XOXO each other on the way out of the apartment. And I think that while it took a while to say I love you physically, I think that was kind of really the the true kind of moment of hey, this is a thing, and I'm I'm acknowledging I knew very early, two weeks in.

unknown 11:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:58

Yeah. Two weeks in, everything went down and just like forever. Pretty much.

SPEAKER_01 12:05

Curtains are closed. I mean, I got gut instincts, am I wrong? No.

SPEAKER_03 12:09

Yeah, I love that there's there's kind of two sides to it, right? There's the day-to-day, which is which we know is really what love looks like, right? It's the shutting the door and saying goodbye and I'll see you later. And um, there's the you know, going to sleep at night and doing the dishes and like all the that kind of stuff. And not a not a lot of people think of that as romantic or like evidence that someone loves you, but I love that there was this sort of you know cute tradition.

SPEAKER_00 12:36

The little things.

SPEAKER_01 12:37

The little things who is the first person you told? Oh, my best friend Jess, yeah. I called her like maybe five days after or something like something ridiculous for sure. Um, but I called her and I was like, I think this is it. I'm I'm gonna marry this man. But I just knew because I guess I knew uh that we were going to be together, but I did want him to have his moment and be the one to say it. But I am also hilarious, so I made a lot of jokes, and uh his last name like Eddie's last name is Wu. Um, so I made a joke about when he was gonna finally woo me. And by that I mean woo, my last name, woo. And I kept making that joke repeatedly because it was so freaking hilarious. Um to the point yeah, to the point of him getting so annoyed, but also kind of loving it. And then he went to the UK that year, that Christmas, and he picked up some candy rings, came back, and just threw them in my face and was like, here, I've wooed you, now leave me alone.

SPEAKER_00 13:55

You can stop complaining about how long it took me. But I had no idea that she had kept this ring all this time. So during our first wedding, i.e., the legal ceremony, when she brought that out, I had no idea that this ring even still existed. I just can't believe you kept it all that time. How old are that many years old?

SPEAKER_01 14:16

Six. It was crusty.

SPEAKER_00 14:20

It was a gummy haribou ring that had definitely lived it life.

SPEAKER_03 14:31

So finally, Eddie was ready to plan a real proposal. But first, he needed a ring. And Eddie did what any future fiance would do, and he asked his future wife for her input. Tracy, you should know, is the queen of design and designed a ring that spoke to not just their future together, but also their past and present.

SPEAKER_00 14:57

The ring, uh, as you mentioned, Trace being the queen of design, has a very set vision. I have very kindly passed most of the design influence onto Trace. Trace designed her own kind of engagement ring and wedding ring. Um, that was always going to be something that was important to her. So we knew that we were going to get married. So Trace was like, hey, let me design the ring. The actual proposal is on you. You you have your moment on that one, but like the ring I want to kind of like handle, I'll let you talk about.

SPEAKER_01 15:33

I knew I wanted a ring that represented me. I did a lot of research into diamonds and diamond cuts, and I got really interested in gemstones, and I eventually decided on a diamond. We decided on a diamond for multiple reasons. Just the durability of the stone, what it represented through history, and also the way it shines is truly like no other gemstone. I wanted a moissanite for a really long time, and then I saw it in real life and immediately decided against it. So I knew diamond was the way to go. And then I wanted Indian sapphires on either side to represent, you know, me and my journey. And I wanted that the engagement ring to be, I don't know, like a representation of who I am and a promise that he gives me. And then the wedding ring is something completely different because I wanted that to be a representation of us and our separate cultural journeys and lives coming together to make one piece. And that hopefully is one day an heirloom for our kids to show them where their parents came from. I had um a stone from each of our countries put into uh a ring with a New York garnet at the center. So that way we've got an Indian and an Australian opal, quartz for the UK, and jade for Hong Kong.

unknown 17:05

I love that.

SPEAKER_01 17:06

So it just it truly does represent our history and our culture.

SPEAKER_03 17:11

Yeah, I talked to um my my engagement ring designer for the podcast as well. And she and I really talked about there's so many different ways you can go about it, but doing something custom really helps you feel more attached to the process. It becomes almost like an instant heirloom, you know? And to to your your point about the stones, being able to trace them is so important. And having something to represent all of your cultures and your journey and your story, and it's something that you get to wear every day, and he gets to look at you wearing it every day. It makes it worth the investment.

SPEAKER_01 17:52

It does, it really does.

SPEAKER_03 17:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:54

Um, every time I look at it, I'm instantly happy.

SPEAKER_03 17:57

Yes, it's like so you picked up the ring after she designed it?

SPEAKER_00 18:03

Yeah, so I picked up the ring. Um, and and candidly, it it sat in our apartment for close to a year before I actually managed to use it.

SPEAKER_03 18:14

Um was this like the I love you thing where you just took a little bit of time.

SPEAKER_00 18:19

Like, look, I think to your point, Trace is very particular. So I knew that she would want a certain thing. I'm potentially a little bit of a perfectionist in some ways as well. And one of my main issues was that Trace is a water baby. I knew that the proposal always wanted to be somewhere outdoors, somewhere kind of private. It would it would be, you know, Trace wouldn't have wanted a big kind of public proposal. And um, I always kind of thought I want to do it kind of like some sort of waterfall, some sort of hike that kind of feels us. Um, unfortunately, I was dilly-dallying about this decision for so long. It suddenly became autumn, then it became winter, and I was like, I can't take this girl out on a winter hike. She's gonna she's gonna kill me if I do this. Um, so so part of the issue was I just had to wait for summer to come back around in order to actually propose. Because I had this idea of where I wanted to do it and how I wanted to do it, but the the weather wasn't being cooperative. I waited until summer. I um worked with a photographer to kind of look for the right spot and to figure out kind of where we wanted to do it. Um, I I made this whole kind of like convoluted plan. I kind of went out for drinks with work friends one day and came back and was like, I was just out with all these senior executives and like they're all going up to their summer houses, like, screw the man, we're gonna go on holiday. I'ma pick a weekend, we're gonna go out. But of course, Trey saw straight through that because I've never once in my life planned a single thing. So she was like, Oh, he's planning something. We're going upstate. He's had the ring for a while. So I feel like uh by the time the words of we should go away had even left my mouth, she was already like, he's going to propose.

SPEAKER_02 20:20

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 20:21

So the surprise was maybe not as much of a surprise as I expected, but uh the thought was there and and the planning was there.

SPEAKER_03 20:30

And she let you have your moment to do that when you were ready.

SPEAKER_00 20:34

Exactly. And uh, I think the the funnest part of this entire story is this Airbnb that I had found just totally independently and hooked in. Uh, we're driving up there, and we noticed that the Airbnb is off a road that's called Diamond Road. So she kind of on the way up, she kind of saw that sign and looked at me, and I was like, just keep driving. Just keep driving.

SPEAKER_03 21:02

Don't make icon. Oh, that's hysterical.

SPEAKER_00 21:07

I think the other kind of real-telling thing was that when I was like, let's go for a hike in the morning, like maybe like let's start at eight. And Trace was like, You've never once in your life chosen to wake up before 10. Like, what is this? I was like, Let's go, Trace. We gotta go to this hike.

SPEAKER_01 21:27

Meanwhile, I'm there doing my makeup, putting on a dress, eyeliner, I gotta get the hat right, the hair right. Yes. This was the hike. This was the hike of all hikes. Meanwhile, the actual hike was very easy. It was all fun, yeah. It wasn't really a hike, more a leisurely walk. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:47

Well, I think it's sweaty in the photos. Very considerate. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 21:51

You thought you thought of everything.

SPEAKER_00 21:52

We uh the photographer thought of everything.

SPEAKER_03 21:57

That's actually a really good point because I think that's one thing. We haven't well, we talked about a little bit with one of the other couples this season. Um, they were in Jamaica when they got engaged, and so he kept waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting for the perfect moment. And he had booked this incredible, like, like, cruise that was gonna end with like cliff jump and this little bistro. Turns out it was spring break on steroids. Not at all when you want to propose. It's the last day of their trip. Um, I won't spoil the story, you have to listen to the rest do that episode. Um, but having someone there to capture the moment. Like, so you just Google searched, you found someone to basically I did.

SPEAKER_00 22:40

Yeah, I kind of had a look around. I I kind of reached out to a couple of people, kind of found somebody who, you know, I thought it was important to have somebody who was similar, kind of vested in, you know, like they wanted to understand a little bit about us. It wasn't just like, okay, I'll come over and I'll shoot your photo. Like, you know, I can find anybody to kind of shoot my photo, but like to find somebody who also wants to get to know you a little bit and kind of like understand your story, somebody who's invested in you, I think. Um, and the same way as kind of similarly with the wedding kind of venue choosing, like um, there are so many great places and out there and there's so many great services out there. Like, what you invest in is the person, is is kind of like, can I gel with you as a person? And do I do I feel your passion as you come through? Because if you have that passion when I speak to you, then I know that whatever you do, it's gonna be to the best of your ability.

SPEAKER_03 23:31

Yeah, and done with love, I think. It's very clear when people love what they do. Um, that was the same thing with you know, my friend that designed the ring. I was like, of course you're designing it because you love what you do and you put your heart, mind, and soul into it. Yeah. And I think that's something people miss when they're picking vendors uh for their wedding. Sometimes they're only thinking about budget or they're only thinking about accommodations for guests, or they're thinking about the things, but not attaching themselves to the feeling of like, how did I feel when I was meeting with them? Right. Did I feel like they were looking me in the eye? Were we were we vibing? Because ultimately they're gonna be at your wedding too. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:15

And and that's gonna be such a big part of your wedding. Yeah. Like that, you know, your vendor can make or break it, right? Um and and having somebody who, to your point, kind of pours their heart and soul into something to kind of do the best of their ability. Like I can't fault somebody who's gonna try the best.

unknown 24:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:33

Okay, before we hear more from them about wedding planning, I really want to drive home something that Eddie and I were just saying. Your vendors are going to be the biggest part of your wedding. Think of them as guests as well. And also remember to treat them as guests. Your photographer, your DJ, your florist, your caterers, even the Etsy shop owners you order your bits and bobs from, they're all going to be a part of your day. So it's important to find someone who takes just as much pride in their job as you do on the day that you're planning. I think this is the key to having an event that is filled with love. Okay, now back to the episode. Did you start planning right away?

SPEAKER_01 25:19

Absolutely not. Not a chance. We Yeah, so it just so happened in the span of three weeks. I got engaged, I turned 30, and I got a new job. And he was like, Why are you overshadowing my proposal with these life moments? Can you not just let me have this one thing? So I had a great month of June. I think we we knew that we wanted to take some time to enjoy being engaged, just because one, I wanted to wear that ring for so long. So we took, I think, a year. Uh right.

SPEAKER_00 25:57

A solid like six, seven months because I started planning.

SPEAKER_03 26:00

That's so smart. That was one of the like the pieces of advice that I got also from a friend. She said, like, it's really tempting, and everybody's gonna be asking you when's the date and all of that. But for the love of God, like for yourself, for your sanity, just enjoy being engaged. It's its own moment.

SPEAKER_01 26:19

And it was very beautiful. I think the the first what five months of just being engaged were so beautiful because we appreciated it. I think in a lot of ways, uh, it felt like we were married the second we got engaged. Like there, there's not a lot of differences because I guess we've always lived together, but I I don't know. Something felt different when we got engaged. I feel like we really committed to a full future together, and I feel like we've been married ever since that moment.

SPEAKER_03 26:53

Yeah. I agree with you because I think what you're speaking to is that the commitment, once it's solidified in engagement, it almost gives you permission to dream and to plan and to really concretely think about what your future is going to be like.

unknown 27:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:10

Versus when you're dating and you don't have that commitment, because I know a lot of people, especially some of I've got plenty of friends where maybe they've been dating for a long time and the engagement's just not happening, and you know, they don't know if their partner ever plans to propose, but there is that question mark of you, I don't want to say you put your life on pause because you should never do that. And I think that you that's the same whether you're planning to have kids or planning to get married or engaged. You should never pause your life for these big moment events, you should live it every day in the meantime.

SPEAKER_00 27:41

Um, but there's this sort of hesitancy to plan for the future when you don't have that commitment of an engagement, or um, you know, I almost like frame it like slightly differently, even like by the time that I proposed, or by the time we got engaged, like I think it's probably fair to say that we loved each other very, very much. And uh genuinely, like, I wasn't even sure whether there was more love to give.

SPEAKER_01 28:10

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 28:11

And we got engaged, and again, like that like five to six month period, like there was one point when we looked at each other and I was like, Do you do you love me more than when before we got engaged? And we both like, yeah, but I I don't know why. I don't understand. Like, kind of like, we we've unlocked a new level that I didn't even know was possible.

SPEAKER_03 28:34

Engagement is its own special time, and I really appreciate that they really allowed themselves to just be engaged. I think so many of us rush to start planning our big days when realistically all those things can wait. You've got your whole future ahead of you. So why start planning for tomorrow when you can be enjoying today? When they were ready to start planning, they first had to do it the legal way, and these two lovebirds invited their closest friends for an all-out wild wedding weekend in Las Vegas. So the first wedding, Vegas.

unknown 29:21

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 29:21

Why Vegas?

SPEAKER_01 29:23

Well, we'd been to this emo fest music festival the year before. Absolutely loved it. It's all the bands that we used to listen to as teenagers. That music was one of the reasons we really bonded. We bonded, yeah. When we first moved in, we'd stay up late listening to all of these bands and connected through music uh initially. So these bands hold a special place in our hearts and in our history. It's very nostalgic. We had a great time at the festival. Um, and if we had to legally tie the knot in the US anyway, let's m make a thing of it and do the festival again. And I think both of us are former emo kids. Uh deep down, I think my parents always knew that I was going to get drunk and marry a guy I met off the internet at an emo festival. That's exactly what happened.

SPEAKER_00 30:22

Just to clarify, my parents had like much higher hopes for me.

SPEAKER_01 30:27

I lived the ultimate nightmare to my parents. But I think I found a guy that they accept, you know?

SPEAKER_00 30:35

So why not do a Vegas wedding? Kind of it, it was uh just such a fun way. Like we had to do the legal side in the US to just ratify the marriage. Like, why not do it in a fun way, kind of like in Vegas with our closest friends? I feel like it embodies kind of the relationship as well.

SPEAKER_01 30:52

All three weddings really are a representation of who we are. The we're very high and low.

SPEAKER_03 30:58

But what I loved about the Vegas wedding is even though it was obviously planned, yeah, it still felt so spontaneous. It literally felt like we had all met that morning and just showed up to celebrate.

SPEAKER_00 31:13

Our photographer wasn't able to make it in time.

SPEAKER_03 31:15

Your photographer got stuck in traffic and we nearly didn't make the appointment slot.

SPEAKER_00 31:21

We got the time slot wrong by half an hour. Yeah. Things will go wrong, but at the end of the day, kind of again, like it's the actual moment that matters, and and the rest of it is just a story.

SPEAKER_03 31:33

And I think Vegas is really amazing because it's a little bit like getting married at the courthouse where you can see everybody also getting married that day. Um, it's a lot of novelty, you know, for people who've never been there. It's it's um, you know, there there really are no people who met like a week ago getting married there.

SPEAKER_01 31:54

Still need to get the marriage license.

SPEAKER_03 31:56

Exactly like a day ahead of time and all of that stuff. But it's it was a really fun option because, like you said, you had to do it legally anyways. Yeah, why not just do it at this wonderful white chapel? Yeah, little white chapel and go to an emo concert and see Green Day rocking it out.

SPEAKER_01 32:17

That was not that was yeah, that was the first emo.

SPEAKER_03 32:20

I love it. Three weddings and two honeymoons. Sometime after their fabulous Vegas wedding at the Little White Chapel, Tracy and Eddie got some devastating news. Their good friend and her man of honor was diagnosed with leukemia and would be undergoing treatments. This meant he could no longer come to their wedding in France. And it truly, truly sucked.

SPEAKER_01 32:57

So the second wedding was a highly personal, spontaneous thing that we did. My man of honor couldn't be there uh because of a health diagnosis, which was sad and ongoing. Yeah, it really sucks, and it's just something that we have to go through.

unknown 33:17

Right.

SPEAKER_01 33:18

With this diagnosis, we needed to figure out whether he could travel, if he could travel to this day, etc. etc. And as he was on his health recovery journey, it was apparent that he couldn't. So he wasn't gonna be able to come to France. Um it was really disappointing, absolutely sucked. Um, he's been such a big part of our lives. So it just sucked that he wouldn't be able to be there and not be able to hear our vows for the first time and all of these. You celebrate with like all of these things. So one of our favorites shows that we watch is New Girl and the scene where Schmidt can't make it to his own wedding because he's busy doing another amazing thing. Uh, it just reminded me that this is an opportunity to bring all of these things together. So I decided to surprise him with a wedding so that he can hear our vows for the first time.

SPEAKER_02 34:25

We could hear our vows for the first time.

SPEAKER_01 34:27

We could hear our vows for the first time, and we could have a meal. He's on a certain diet, so this way we can incorporate him into that. He couldn't make it to the Vegas wedding because he was working, so he has always regretted that. So it was a great way to have him be a part of at least one celebration.

SPEAKER_00 34:47

Yeah, he's always been such a big part of our lives. Um, just you know, over the past kind of seven years. It didn't feel right to not have him part of the wedding. So we had uh one of my groomswomen and and one of Trace's bridesmaids, guy with ours, as well. So it felt as as as formal as anything else.

SPEAKER_03 35:08

Remembering your wedding in France, one of the things that I wanted to do at the beginning of the ceremony as the officiant was I wanted to call the attention to the fact that he was not there. You know, there's so many times when you have a wedding and people that you expect to be there are just not a part of it. And for different reasons. And as you were saying before, you do these weddings for everyone else. You know, it's about inviting everyone else into the love that you found and that you've experienced, you know, day to day in a really beautiful and ceremonious way. If you or somebody that you love is struggling with a health diagnosis and it's interfering with your plans and vision for your wedding, just know that you're not alone. And I wish you love. We'll be right back with more of the love department after this break. And now their third act, the denouement, curtain opens on a gorgeous chateau in the vineyard-laden countryside of Provence. Guests arriving from New York, England, Australia, and beyond to see them tie the knot. If you're planning a destination wedding, get your notepads out because we've got all the tips and tricks.

SPEAKER_01 36:42

We looked at New York for a hot minute, but for what we could get and what we could give other people, it just made sense to do it abroad. Australia was out of the question just because it was so far.

SPEAKER_00 36:56

The UK was out of the question just because it's so grey. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:01

And he would have an unfair advantage.

SPEAKER_02 37:05

Home advantage.

SPEAKER_01 37:06

Yes, home court advantage. Um planning and the people. Exactly. So that was vetoed. So it really had to be somewhere, somewhat in between. The Australians were always going to be screwed. So we just needed to find somewhere nice, somewhere beautiful and romantic.

SPEAKER_00 37:24

As a young kid growing up in the UK, that was always going to be for me the south of France or Italy. Those two aesthetics just kind of just feel so idyllic to me. So at that point, again, having handed most of the wedding planning across to Trace by this point, I was like, here's here's my input. You may make the final decision. Um, but but the south of France is really kind of what what really spoke to both of us as we looked into a little bit more.

SPEAKER_03 37:53

Um, just I can imagine it must have been really fun to plan because you had to travel there too.

SPEAKER_00 38:01

Oh no, the amount of trips we had to make to the south of France was oh, terrible.

SPEAKER_01 38:06

It was so tough being whisked around to chateau after chateau, being lined and dined, getting these free samples, pastries everywhere. Oh, it was exhausting. Oh my god, no. This is also the thing is like we well, I really enjoyed the planning process, and we wanted to just experience it all, like going to France, taking these little mini vacations, going to these venues, uh meeting the locals, sampling the wines. These were all really fun things and incorporating little mini vacations and extending this planning process and extending the engagement. Um, it added more joy to the whole experience.

SPEAKER_00 38:55

Yeah, 100%. Just kind of to your point, like they were just vacations for us, but each time that we went over, we fell a little bit more in love with the place. And and by the time that we had the last trip in March of 24, by the time we were leaving, we're just so excited to have everybody else come.

SPEAKER_03 39:13

In a weird way, and I've and I think this was at my first destination wedding, it felt as if you guys were locals and we were just coming to meet your friends at the wine shop or at the chateau. We were on vacation, but like we got to experience that same love that you have for this place as well.

SPEAKER_01 39:33

But it was also very important for us to curate that experience. We really wanted that vibe. So, for all of our vendors, for the venue, that was my number one consideration. We wanted the venue to feel like an Airbnb where everyone felt comfortable and rooms weren't off-limit, and you know, things like that. We wanted to tell a story about the wine vendors and how they used to be some LIAs and we picked these wines out together and all of these kind of things. We wanted it to feel that we were hosting a vacation for all of our friends that was important to us from the start.

SPEAKER_03 40:17

Another reality when it comes to planning weddings is deciding on the budget, and with Eddie's background in economics and generous heart, it was inevitable that Trace's design taste was going to exceed their initial expectations. And there's a lot of ways to prepare yourself financially and personally for a wedding. And if you do this as a couple, it can be done in such a way that it gives yourself a full 18 months to plan, which is exactly what they did. And it can actually have some unexpected benefits to your lifestyle at the same time.

SPEAKER_01 40:55

The budget increased.

SPEAKER_03 40:59

You're not the first person in the world this has happened to, so please feel no shame.

SPEAKER_01 41:04

Yeah. I mean, I think you just it just happens and you have to make your peace with it.

SPEAKER_00 41:10

Yeah, I think there was one point when we discussed a number, and originally I thought that was our joint number, and then quickly I realized that was our individual contribution, and then even on top of that, I think we we probably even overshot that a little bit. Um but no regrets. No regrets at all. Like I think, you know, we thankfully, while we maybe did overspend on our original budget, did not overspend beyond our means.

SPEAKER_02 41:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:42

Um, and I think kind of we're both, hopefully you agree, very, very happy and comfortable with kind of like where we landed. Seeing the joy in Tracy's face, I'm sure she'll say the same about me. But more importantly, honestly, seeing the joy in everybody else's face is kind of just again like being able to kind of do that for everybody else and kind of have everybody there and just throwing a big party. Um, like it feels like it was worth it.

SPEAKER_03 42:07

Yeah. Yeah. I think when you approach it generously and thinking about everyone, you know, and their happiness on that day as well, is a big difference between when you're doing it selfishly and you like, oh, we overspent a little bit on this thing or that thing. And like if you're doing it selfishly, I think is what causes a lot of stress for couples because it's all about me, me, me and what I want.

SPEAKER_00 42:32

It's I think that you say it this way because um Trace will hate me for having thought about it this way, but to your point, like if you see a budget and you're like, I'm you know, say $2,000 over. Like if you're thinking me, me, me, I'm like, oh, that's $2,000 over. I'm like, oh, I got 60 people here, that's like 40 bucks ahead. Like, I'm like, oh, like, oh, cool.

SPEAKER_03 42:54

Like the math, you're like, if I if this is if this $2,000 is gonna make 40 people happier, yes, this is his life.

SPEAKER_00 43:01

Then that's worth it. Yeah, and Trace will always say I'm I'm often the person who's too generous at these sorts of things. But yes, um, I I truly think those are the things that kind of are worthwhile. Like, let's spend for our friends. When I contextualize kind of our overspending on the wedding by not even that much, I'd say like 10%, 15%.

SPEAKER_01 43:23

Oh no, no, no. Original budget significantly up. So I think we both really looked at it as an opportunity to make maybe a better lifestyle change. We made some conscious decision decisions to cut back on eating out. Um and you know, fitness naturally, we spent more, I guess, on that. But I think your best. Yeah. Um, but cutting back on the takeout, eating more at home um was one of the things. We definitely went to fewer plays or things.

SPEAKER_00 44:00

Like a little bit of just general disposable income that we typically have and find. Like we may be a little bit more conscious about it.

SPEAKER_01 44:08

Um less shopping on my end.

SPEAKER_00 44:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:11

Kind of. Not really.

SPEAKER_03 44:13

Is that even possible?

SPEAKER_00 44:15

Like, you know, like I think we we cut back on some of the kind of extrenuous spending. Like I wouldn't say though, we it's not like we hold ourselves away, you know? Like we still kind of hung out, we enjoyed our lives. I think the biggest thing, honestly, was probably the eating out. Um we stopped going out to kind of like restaurants all the time and like we even limited our uh takeout orders. I don't I even like struggle to say the health journey was necessarily wedding related. I think we're both health conscious. I think it was a great excuse to kick ourselves into gear, but like definitely post-wedding, I don't think that's slowing down in any way at all.

SPEAKER_01 44:56

If anything, it's kicking back up. And I think also the lead up to the wedding, there were a lot of things going on professionally and personally, um, because it was just a busy time. Um, so I was not, you know, eating healthy and all of that kind of stuff because of schedule and etc. reasons. And I don't think that there should be this dramatic pressure to look perfect on your wedding day because it's a dress, and if I want to, I can wear it again. Um, and the people who are going to be there are old people who love me and they don't really care about my size. Yeah. Oh my god, that's so beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 45:38

I think you just freed a lot of people when they hear this podcast episode because it's true. Yeah. And I mean, I've never been someone that struggled with my weight, but I can imagine, especially for a lot of women, they think this is the first time, this is the only time that someone is really going to look at them with these loving eyes, and it's like, no, no. The people in your life love you regardless of what you weigh. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 46:02

And if they're commenting on your weight, then yes, they shouldn't be there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:09

They don't deserve you.

SPEAKER_02 46:11

They don't deserve a pay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:12

At the end of the day, kind of like your wedding again is is is for you. Yeah. So, like, yes, you want to look good, you want to do what you want to do, but you should not be doing that for for anybody else. You're gonna look great no matter like no matter how you look. Kind of like the people are there to celebrate you and your love, yeah, not how you look.

SPEAKER_03 46:31

100%. And speaking of wedding dresses, Tracy had some amazing ensembles. The Vegas wedding was this silver disced mini dress with a huge crown, feathery, pointy headpiece. I know I'm not making it sound as beautiful as it is, but trust me, she looked like the statue of Liberty. She also had several outfit changes on the day of their wedding in France. Not to mention a knockout dress that she herself helped design. So I asked her about the design process and creating a custom one-of-a-kind look that no bride has ever worn before.

SPEAKER_01 47:22

The party dress I just so happened to find when I was in Australia. My bridesmaids there in Australia wanted to be a part of this journey, so they took me to a bridal fitting. I didn't think I was gonna buy anything, and I saw this jumpsuit that was also a dress, it had an attachable skirt that I didn't end up wearing. But the jumpsuit spoke to me, and I was like, Okay, I'll take it. So it was a spontaneous gut reaction, and I was like, Yep, instantly done.

SPEAKER_00 47:54

We visited Australia, we we tried to make sure that we did spend that time, and that was also great because I actually got to really spend some quality time with Tracy's made of honor's fiance during that you know, the the boys will be the boys while the girls do the bridal dress shopping, but that was just a great kind of bonding experience for us as well. So it was great that you guys had that so that I could have that.

SPEAKER_01 48:17

Yeah, and then the dress was a whole different story. I did a bunch of fittings, tried on a whole bunch of dresses, and they weren't really me. It didn't encapsulate who I was or what this wedding was going to be. So I just wasn't feeling it, and I was stuck. But I'd worked with this designer before who had made my Vegas wedding dress. So I liked the dress and the aesthetic, and I just had um a vision. So I reached out to her and I was like, Do you do wedding dresses by any chance? And she was open to it and whatnot. So I looked through her collections and I picked out a model and I sketched over it. So I sketched out exactly what I wanted, how I wanted the sleeves to look, how I wanted the base to look, how I wanted the neck to look, and the general form of it all. And I sent it to her and I was like, this is what I want. Let's hear your thoughts. So she came to New York for New York Fashion Week, and then we looked through some material samples. I picked some, uh, and that's kind of how the dress was born. We designed and ended up with because we were doing it in France, the shape and form of it all was my interpretation of French lace. Um, and then the material because I love chain mail was me doing French lace. And then the cape or veil, uh, I found a bunch of flowers. I knew I wanted chiffon. So I went on Etsy. I found just a generic wedding veil. I found a bunch of chiffon flowers. They arrived. The veil was the wrong color, so I panicked and I was like, Allie, Allie, what do you do? This is the wrong color. And she told me about dyeing fabric. So we just sat here in my kitchen with a bucket and we dyed the veil in my kitchen sink and we talked about our relationships for like two hours.

SPEAKER_03 50:23

This is what bridesmaids are for. If your bridesmaid can't panic dye your veil, then they're not the right ones. But I love that because I you had a vision to create something that had never existed. And when I tell you the execution was flawless, and there was something really cool about it, something that I think people will want to copy, but it was also very you. It didn't feel like so avant-garde and over the top that nobody could uh would accept it as bridal.

SPEAKER_02 51:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 51:03

Um, and I think when you go wedding dress shopping and stuff, it's really hard to distinguish, especially, you know, if you do have a good experience and everything does look good and you don't know what you're what you actually like, or maybe you find nothing you like and everything looks terrible. There are many ways and avenues to come at designing you know a wedding dress.

SPEAKER_01 51:29

It's it's a very tricky and personal task.

SPEAKER_00 51:33

Like the first time seeing that dress kind of walking down the aisle, like I I was very taken aback. Like the amount of times, again, like to everything that you've just said, the amount of times that Trace was like, What do you think my dress looks like? I was like, I can't, I don't know. Like your mind is like an absolute like jungle out there. Like, how am I ever supposed to guess?

SPEAKER_03 51:55

The guest list, about 65. The people, 10 out of 10. Another important factor to consider with wedding planning is the guest list. Who gets to come? Will they get along? Who sits next to who at dinner? Tracy and Eddie said that they knew that the people they were inviting were all their favorite people. So getting along was inevitable.

SPEAKER_00 52:25

Tracy and I wanted at the very start, we knew that we wanted a smaller wedding. So there was that difficult moment when we had to tell the family, like, hey, like, no shade to anybody else. I love everybody, but this this one's gonna be intimate. Like the extended family, again, like not saying they're not part of our lives, but like this one's for us. We unfortunately we're gonna invite the people we want, and not to say I won't do something with you guys, like I want to celebrate with you guys and we'll do something, but this one was this one was ours, and and that was something that was a little bit more difficult as well. Not to say that the family didn't support us in that decision. I actually feel very fortunate that we didn't have a huge amount of pressure from either side to do that. Um, so very, very understanding. But that was a difficult moment to to approach and and and ratify.

SPEAKER_01 53:23

I think I was never really worried about it. Just because I knew the crowd and I knew we wanted to keep it as small as we could, and I'm happy with the number, but I also know the people that we were inviting, I knew that they would get along. Yeah, um, because we like the same people, I feel.

SPEAKER_00 53:43

Yeah. Like, I'll be honest, I'm a warrior. I kind of want everybody to love everybody all the time. Um, yeah, to your point, I think I never had any real concerns that nobody would gel. There's always that kind of like question of all these people get along. But you know, I think a lot of those concerns were assuaged when I had the Bachelor Party. Like the Bachelor Party, like I brought a lot of the group together and and exactly the same as you mentioned at the wedding, but immediately everybody loved everybody. Friends make friends friends. We're all such kind of um I don't want to sound too over the top, but we're all such good people.

SPEAKER_03 54:23

I think my favorite person at the wedding was your gran.

SPEAKER_00 54:26

Oh, what a sweetheart.

SPEAKER_03 54:29

Oh my goodness. There's so many wonderful people, but I have this great photo of her in the wheelchair, full gown, right here, makeup, holding a glass of champagne, and just so genuinely happy to be there.

SPEAKER_00 54:46

I think that was one of the highlights for me. She was a very last-minute addition to the wedding as well. She wasn't sure if she could make it over, so a little bit of stress trying to sort this piece of it out. But seeing her there and seeing the joy on her face just kind of it just made it worth it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 55:06

One of my personal favorite moments at their wedding was a dance number performed by Eddie's best friends from university. It's a tradition they've been doing since they've been in school together at each of their weddings. And for them to perform on his wedding day, Eddie said it was really special.

SPEAKER_00 55:29

As the uh designated extrovert per trace, uh, which I probably at this point have to admit that I am, going into uni, I was a very different person. Um, I was very kind of like introverted, or at the very least, not the most outgoing person. But as I entered uni, as I kind of like, you know, came into my own, I found this group of friends, like it just brought another kind of like lease of life to me. And again, like I feel I've full of cliches today, but like I knew that these guys were gonna be the guys that would like keep me kind of going through for the rest of my life. I'm probably in the middle of the group of the guys who've been married at this point. Um, but having been through all of those guys' marriage, being able to lean on those guys because I went through my wedding planning process and knowing that I can continue to lean on those guys, like it just means so much. That group to me is is so near and dear to everything that we've kind of done over the past few years.

SPEAKER_03 56:24

I think it's especially as a man who aspired to be married, like there are a lot of boys out there that don't want to be married and they don't have, they also just don't have examples, right? They don't have good buddies to hold them up through this process. And going through this process, it can be really difficult for both partners and really daunting because you're not gonna talk to your parents necessarily about this because things have changed. And you know, Tracy being such a visionary and having this idea for the wedding and being able to create it for the both of you, having, you know, LSE boys, I just love it. It sounds like the backstory point is so good. Oh, yeah, but having good, genuine friends to lean on who were also supportive of your relationship, who were supportive of you getting married, who 10 out of 10 five stars on Amazon recommend this step for you. Like that is that's such an important thing. Yeah, like such an important thing. So you plan this beautiful wedding in France. Was there anything that did not go according to your I can think of one thing for sure.

SPEAKER_01 57:39

I can think of about four, so well, one of the things would be me not breaking my foot.

SPEAKER_00 57:46

That would have been great. If you didn't break your foot. Excellent. Oh, so good.

SPEAKER_01 57:49

The next one would be I don't even know if we could have done anything to avoid the stress of getting Ray to France. Yeah, the primary witness. That would have been one thing. Oh, bridesmaids. Trace lost three how bridesmaids throughout the party. I don't even, I mean, can you even avoid fucking cancel? I don't think you can. No, there's no opting out of that one.

SPEAKER_00 58:18

No, I mean, like, look, I think I always say the story makes the event, but I'd be lying if I didn't say it would have been great to have uh maid and man of honours at the full wedding. These guys all mean such a big part to us, kind of like and such a big part of our lives, and kind of our journey. It's uh it's a big shame that they weren't necessarily able to be there. It wasn't without its complications, kind of like the whole taxi. The taxi like the the three days before the wedding, our taxi company decided to double the charge that we wanted to pay for them. I asked our wedding plan if we could look for potentially another alternative, and somehow the taxi company got wind of it and absolutely berated our wedding planner. And I was like, if they're gonna be screaming at you, I don't even want to deal with these guys like it's not gonna be. I don't want to bring people into the fault for this.

SPEAKER_01 59:20

No wedding is perfect, and it always becomes a bit challenging as well that went wrong, but you just kind of have to make your peace with it, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 59:30

Kind of um adapt to those situations and the rest of it, the events make the story.

SPEAKER_01 59:35

And I feel like there's also certain learnings as a couple, like there are certain things that you know went wrong with the planning or the day or whatever, whatever. I think my bigger take is you know, this has gone wrong and this has happened, but if it leads to a better marriage, then I'm okay with it. Right. We've learned something from this, we're gonna learn this lesson and take it into the marriage, and that's a that's a gift.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:06

I love Matiza. I like because I think a lot of couples they don't learn from their wedding day. Because here's the thing: like you said, life is long. You're gonna be learning every day of this marriage about yourself, about each other. And if you can kind of accept that these hiccups and these bumps and things like that are just also part of that learning process, it's gonna help you kind of smooth out the day.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:31

You have to be able to roll over those punches, otherwise, you're gonna cast a shadow on your own day.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:37

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:37

Well, then you're gonna cast a shadow on your own marriage if you think nothing's if everything's gonna be perfect. Come on, like who do you think this is? The 1990s?

SPEAKER_02 1:00:46

I am perfect.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:47

So I mean, I know Tracy's perfect, but this is true.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:52

I mean, let's be honest, it's Ray who's perfect. This I was gonna say what the other guests couldn't see is as you were kind of giving your beautiful kind of efficient speech, uh, Trace and I were just watching Ray pee down the middle of the aisle.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:06

Yes, yes! I was like, I'm just gonna ignore it.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:10

We're just gonna keep going.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:12

About to start the vows and this beautiful ceremony, and she's just relieving herself in the middle of the aisle.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:21

On the topic of things that went right, Tracy and Eddie extended their wedding celebration with a mini-moon following the main events. They did it with their mothers. The wedding festivities were also the first time that their mothers had met. So planning an extra few days of traveling in the south of France was a big experiment, to say the least.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:56

But it it did just feel so special to be able to kind of share that time with them. And also, like for us to treat them a little bit, you know? Like to be like, hey, like, no, you guys sit back, let us drive you around. What do you want to do?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:09

Yeah, cook them a fancy meal, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:11

Let's be honest, your mum didn't let you fully cook. She was like, Let me help.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:14

I got the no, I let her clean the crab. That was the job I would do when I was a kid, so we swapped the role. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, Australia, the UK, they're never really going to meet too often.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:28

The first time that they met in person was at the wedding.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:30

And they got along so well, they learned little bits from each other. My mom is very outgoing, and she just kind of, especially when she's on a vacation by herself, she's very bold. So she just kind of gets things done. And Sylvia's a lot more reserved, but she's very emotional and she's very deep and connected into that aspect of herself. So they really got to learn a little bit about each other. Sylvia took, you know, chances and went out to explore by herself.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:02

She ever explored a foreign country by herself.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:05

Yeah, she, you know, drank wine, and mom, I think, learned about like the emotional complexities a bit more.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:13

Why was it important for the two of you to get married? I'm not gonna lie.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:17

It was straight up the visa legal situations. Wow.

unknown 1:03:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:24

That is why I thought I wanted to get married. Yeah. Um, was to get the legal shenanigans out of the way so that we become one person um and we are legally a family and binding. That is why I thought I wanted to get married, but then I actually got married, and I think once we had the Vegas wedding, or once we got engaged, I think there was a bit of an emotional shift where we I don't know, to me, you felt like a husband more somehow. It felt like a much bigger, deeper emotional thing that I wasn't. I mean, I was ready for it, but I was surprised by it. I feel like I wanted to get married for legal reasons. Yeah. But in getting engaged, I got married for emotional reasons. That's it, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:19

Like it's about supporting each other no matter what. Like, whatever you want to do. Like I mean, I'll tell you if you're gonna do something really dumb. But like it's it's kind of that, like, I think I want to do this. And it's just that unrelenting kind of let's do it then. Like, and that that's it, right? Like, that's that healing ripple you talk about. It's kind of knowing that no matter what, like, I've got someone to support me and and we we will make it through. Yeah. Like, and the rest of it is fine.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:58

And what is something you love about each other?

SPEAKER_00 1:05:00

A huge amount of it kind of comes down to your tenacity and drive. I can guarantee that if it is something that Trace wants to do, it will happen. That the kind of fire that she has within her to kind of just do what she's passionate about, but also just the endless support that kind of comes with that as well. You're out to drive what you want to do, but at the same time, you also have all the capacity in the world to support me in what I do. Like it it feels rare to be able to find that in a person, to have that drive and to also have that kind of compassion and help others.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:36

I think my favorite bit is how kind he is and how funny he is because we are in a lot of ways opposites attract where I'm a little bit more reserved, more guarded, more weary of people, but Eddie really kind of gives people the benefit of the doubt. He's more open, more generous. And I think that works for me because it opens me up to so many more people that I wouldn't have usually, you know, opened up to, or given second chances to people I would have usually cut off. And the fact that we make such a good team together as well. Because we very much like yin and yang, where I'll pull you back when you're floating too far away and you'll pull me in because I'm not coming in. So I think that's my favorite favorite bits.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:35

What has love taught you?

SPEAKER_01 1:06:37

Like the love I feel for Ray, for example. It's taught me compassion and just generosity that knows no bounds. But then, you know, romantic love or committal love with Eddie has taught me one of the harder things, I guess, is forgiveness and compassion and I guess commitment, the uh the idea of committing to one person for forever. Where you can find chemistry more often than not, but choosing to stay committed to this one person, this one being, no matter what. I think that is what love has taught me to ignore the little small sparks and just concentrate on this one bonfire we got going on. You know, if things go wrong, if things go right, uh happy, sad, angry, whatever, you've got someone to see you through that.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:46

I mean, look, I think like love means that you are more than the sum of your parts, right? Like as a as an entity, together we can actually progress further than you could have thought that you maybe could have taken yourself. Love is about evolving together as a couple, and truly kind of like reaching no boundary. I think it's knowing that whatever we uh have to tackle, whatever we want to do, we can face that if we do that together. Love also hurts. I think kind of you never feel hurt as much as you do when you're also feeling love. But it is through the perseverance of that hurt that you grow stronger as well, and that's kind of how love kind of burns, right? Like that's where you kind of get that fire in you as well. If you only feel the happiness of love, then you're living real life.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:47

And if this were the last time that you were to see each other and you parted ways after this podcast, what would you want the other person to know?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:56

Good riddance. It's been great. Thank you for your time. We've had a good run.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:03

Excellent. Um I would say please be cleaner and tidier for your next one.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:11

Noted. Everything that I've enjoyed about New York has been about you and all of this stuff. I would be very thankful and grateful for the time that we've spent together. I would also be incredibly distraught about the time that I'm losing by by not having you kind of like as part of my life going forwards.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:30

If we left each other today, I would be like, one, I'm taking Ray. Yeah, you don't get her, no thank you. But then I would be like, thank you for showing me what real love is and what true kindness is. I know what real true love and a real marriage is because of you. So if we never see each other again, thank you for the life I know I should have had, or at least have experienced this kind of love once in my life. And if I never get to feel it again, that's okay because it's happened once, and I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:17

The Love Department is produced in Brooklyn, New York. Our theme song is Love by Adam Baldech. Special thank you to Sound Engineer Kal Moore and producer Karen Minto. And of course, thank you so much to Tracy and Eddie for sharing your love story with us today. Thank you also to those of you who have rated and left us a review. If you enjoy the show, please let us know. It really means a lot when you leave us five stars on Apple or Spotify or wherever you listen, and it helps other listeners find the love department. And if you have a great love story that you think we should hear, reach out to us at love-department.com. There's also some great merch there. Just throwing it out there if you're in the market for a good sweatshirt or a tote bag. You can find that on our website as well. Don't forget to subscribe to this podcast. There is more coming this season, and I don't want you to miss it. Thank you so much for listening to The Love Department. There's a lot of great podcasts out there, and I really appreciate you tuning in and spending time with us. At the end of every show, we'd like to invite you to put your hand on your heart for our four count. I wish you love.