S2 Ep 3 Kerry Lynn "How to Buy an Engagement Ring"

Planning a proposal soon? Join us on this episode of The Love Department where Nik Lockhart sits down with Kerry Lynn owner and designer of Love Locked, a jewelry boutique located in Jersey City. Things get sparkly with these two, as they talk about sustainable gemstones, how much to spend on a wedding ring, proposal alternatives to a ring, how to keep your proposal a surprise, and just how to create a custom piece that your one-of-a-kind lover will adore for years to come. We also talk about what to do with that heirloom jewel and how you can fashion something "new" out of something "old".

Transcript

SPEAKER_05 0:00

It's sometimes like people are like, oh, this is the only thing I wear every single day. So I think that's so cool. Like you can change your haircut, you can change your clothes, but like with your ring, you're like, oh, I wear this every day.

SPEAKER_03 0:10

Yeah, it's true. Immediately was like, I never want this off of my body. The second I take it off to put it in the box or the dish or wherever, I kind of miss it.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

Oh no! I got my ring tan on. Oh, you have a ring tan! It looks really good.

SPEAKER_00 0:29

Hello and welcome back to The Love Department.

SPEAKER_03 0:34

The heartwarming and inspirational podcast exploring the nature of love and relationships.

SPEAKER_00 0:41

I'm your host, Nick Lockhart, and I am so thrilled to have today's guest with me.

SPEAKER_03 0:49

Carrie Lynn is a powerhouse jewelry designer. She's the owner of Loveloft in Jersey City. I first met her a few years ago before meeting my partner when I was on a hunt for a special ring for myself. One step inside of her shop, and I was absolutely certain that she was the one I wanted to design my engagement ring one day. Carrie has been in the industry for years, and her talent for creating unique designs that are beautiful but timeless is truly unimagined. Everything she creates is an instant heirloom that you will love for many, many more years.

SPEAKER_00 1:35

And so I'm honored to have her on the love department. This is a really helpful episode for all of you who are planning to propose soon or about to get engaged.

SPEAKER_03 1:47

We talked about creating my custom ring and how it can be a meaningful experience. We also talked about how to surprise your partner with a perfect proposal. And she really enlightened me about the importance of sourcing zones for sustainability and traceability. She also gives us some alternatives to rings. And if you've got an antique dome from your late, late great grade, Carrie talks about the compromises and how to make your something old, something new. Share this episode with someone who's ready to get a fiance, okay? This episode has so many gems.

SPEAKER_06 2:47

Yeah, it really does.

SPEAKER_03 2:49

Like every time I see it, I get like just glumps all over again. Because I remember that morning and he had not slept at all.

SPEAKER_05 3:00

Because he was so nervous.

SPEAKER_01 3:02

Oh my god, what a cutie.

SPEAKER_03 3:04

He like I was like, I thought we were gonna sleep in this morning. It's like eight o'clock, why is he awake? It's a Saturday. Yeah. And I realized that it was because he had this ring that he was planning to give me. Oh that was so sweet. I just uh remember the moment he kind of pulled the box out. And I realized that it's a ring box. And he's my jaw just sort of flew open, and he didn't open it yet, but he was he went into a you know the very specific feel that you give when you're proposing to someone, and at the end of it he opened it. But it was absolutely like a perfect moment, and then to see the ring that he created knowing that he collaborated with you. Thank you, and that was just like everything, you know.

SPEAKER_05 4:09

So beautiful, yeah. He was so sweet picking out like the diamond, and oh my god. Oh, a lot, he's amazing.

SPEAKER_03 4:17

Yeah, you're so lucky.

unknown 4:18

I know.

SPEAKER_03 4:19

Wonderful. I one of the reasons why I wanted you to be the person to design this ring for me is because you're so very clearly doing what you love and what you're meant to do. Thank you. Like I can't imagine you in medicine. No, I can't imagine you in the medicine. Yeah. In any other capacity, and other than being able to give people these moments together. Um, I just want to thank you for oh my gosh, thank you.

SPEAKER_05 4:51

I'm like honored to be a part of it and like meet him and hear the story from his perspective because I've heard so much about him from you. Yeah, and I'm just so excited to make something so beautiful and meaningful and like a family heirloom. It's like it's a good thing. That's gonna last a lifetime, and it's so unique, and it's so you, and it's so stunning, and it's perfect. I'm so thrilled the way it turned out.

SPEAKER_03 5:14

Me too. So I want to hear kind of from you, because this is not a traditional career path.

SPEAKER_05 5:22

No.

SPEAKER_03 5:23

How did you get into designing?

SPEAKER_05 5:26

When I was 17, I worked for an Italian charm bracelet company, and basically I like sat on their like production line just producing like little bracelets, putting these like little charms together. My thumbs were like crooked basically from making them for like hours at a time. But I also did their retail end too, so it was like we got to talk to customers and see what they wanted, and I loved that like back and forth with the customer, and then over a period of time, you kind of saw how metal wore over time, how like we learned about stones and the meanings behind stones, and I just like loved putting all that together, but I didn't do anything with it until I was in my 30s. And then my friend approached me and was like, Hey, do you want to open a jewelry store in Jersey City? And I was like, Yes, like so we opened the store and we had the two jewelry benches in the back of our original store, and we would make stuff and put it out on this bench, and it was mainly like silver and gold filled, and we just like loved it. We loved that the customers came in and picked it up right away, and it happened super organic. We moved to a new location, and people started asking for wedding bands and fine jewelry, and then it snowballed into engagement rings, and then I really was like, Oh wow, I love being part of a love story, I love being part of this process and hearing how people met and their timeline, and like I just like loved producing like family heirlooms, and then I kind of really leaned into that, but I really loved um sourcing sustainable stones because that's what I wanted. I wanted to have the traceability, right? I wanted something that was unique, so a lot of it is like um the store that I wanted at the time.

SPEAKER_03 7:19

I love that because I think that's really important as an entrepreneur. It's like you create the things that you wish existed in the world, and there's obviously a market for it because there are other people who are asking you for the same things that value sustainability, that value having beautiful family heirlooms that you know don't just come from the chain jewelry store and down the down the street. You know, it's it's funny. I remember thinking about my proposal from a very young age and being terrified, but also thinking about you know, my parents' proposal story, and like you know, my dad picked out a ring and he sent my mom a bouquet to her apartment, and she's a med school student, and she gets these beautiful red roses, and my dad calls her and he's like, Oh, did you get the flowers I sent you? And he's like, She's like, Yeah, they're beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 8:15

And he goes, But did you see what was inside of them?

SPEAKER_05 8:19

She got proposed to alone in her apartment.

SPEAKER_03 8:22

There's a ring box in the bouquet of flowers, and it's just I feel like the way in which people get engaged, yeah, if that's something that they choose to do, is so unique to each couple. And to be able to come to someone like you to also create a ring that is as unique to each couple is so cool. What is your like typical process? If a customer comes in the door and they say, I want to get engaged, what happens?

SPEAKER_05 8:56

So a lot of times I already know the customer. Like the customer has been my customer a lot of times for a long time, where they were buying like gold-filled or gifts for their family or candles for their home, and then maybe they got a significant other and they came in to buy fine jewelry for their first anniversary or for something special, a birthday or whatever. And so, a lot of times I kind of have an idea of what the customer wants, and then they a lot of times come in with their partner, like I'd say about 90% of the times come in with our partner. Really? Yeah, it's really interesting, and then you know, the other 10% is a surprise, yeah. But I generally have an idea of what they want, or sometimes the customer will send me stuff on Instagram of stuff that I've made in the past, so I know, oh hey, that person likes light pink champagne stones and a thick band. So it's good to kind of have that idea, and so I love like listening to like what the customer wants. A lot of times they do come in with an idea of like just a round stone, right? And then they leave with like something much different.

SPEAKER_03 10:02

I think, especially stepping into your store, it's such a treasure trove and wonderland of things that you might surprise yourself what actually you like when you go in to just try a few things on.

SPEAKER_05 10:16

Yeah, we'll get an idea of like the shape, if it's gonna be a color stone, then I'll source the stones, and I like am very cognizant of people's budget. Once I source the stone, you come in, we see three to six stones, and you select your stone, then we build the ring around the stone. So everything is made around this stone. So it's maybe you work with your hands and you need a thicker band. Maybe you're doctor and we want it to sit lower so you can wear it like more frequently. So we kind of like take into consideration what you do on a daily basis as well. Um yeah, because it's like a lifestyle choice, you wear this every day for the rest of your life.

SPEAKER_03 10:56

I think what's really cool about that is taking into consideration the person because my biggest fear was always that I would get a ring that looked nothing like me and did not fit my personality, my lifestyle, and that was terrifying. It to me it almost signaled, does this person know me at all? Um, and or are they just trying to give me what they think I want? Or yeah, yeah, yeah. So, do you do any sort of questioning if it's say a partner that comes in secretly by themselves at that point, they're ready to buy the ring? We always question them.

SPEAKER_05 11:34

Yeah, we always like to know questions, yeah. So at first I'm like, oh, have they been in here before? Because sometimes I take notes on people. Oh, do they have an Instagram? Because sometimes they've sent me something or liked something, so we'll explore that if it's gonna be a secret. And this is like 10% of people because 90% of people do come in together. So other questions are, oh, what do they work with their hands for a living? Are they hard on their rings? Are we gonna bezel set this? Are we gonna find a stone that's like really, really, really durable? Yeah, so we kind of like ask all of those questions do they want side stones, do they want a solitaire? Yeah, and we kind of looked at their other jewelry too. So it's been interestingly, people will sneak a snapshot of a jewelry box. We're like, okay, do they want white gold, rose gold, yellow gold? And we're like, okay, she's got all yellow in that box, and we know she's gold.

SPEAKER_03 12:20

Yeah, it's really true. I'm like, I've told you this is my secret before, where if you don't know what shape stone the person wants, look at the shape of their nails. Yeah, it's nail theory. Nail theory. This is I I need to patent this because I really think, and I've I've proven it over and over again. I see a woman with a ring, I look at her nails, and I'm like, interesting. But it matches the nail shape. So, you know, an almond kind of girl or a girl who likes a nice point might go with a marquise diamond, right? Yeah, or some like a guy who maybe has like shorter nails, my grand might want this like a simple circular, more round stone or more square, like little stud if they want a diamond, and like using that to gauge you think okay, they've got long nail beds, so maybe something that's more emerald, and they they tend to round the edges of their nails, so something cushioned. Yes, so you definitely see that. It tends to mirror a little bit of what they like to see on their nails, what they want to see on their ring finger.

SPEAKER_05 13:24

People come and try stuff on, they have ideas in their head from what they've seen or been fed on the internet, and when they put stuff on it, it completely changes. Oh, I can ever do in a fun way. You can explore so many different like shapes on your hands.

SPEAKER_03 13:37

So you've got the notes, the person's come in, you've kind of got an idea. How do you as a designer go the next direction?

SPEAKER_05 13:46

So once we choose the stone, we sit together and we say, Oh, okay, like do you want what kind of like band thickness is gonna be suitable for your everyday life? Do we want to set it high? Do we want to sit it low? Are we doing bezels? Are we doing prongs? Are we doing side stones? And we kind of come together with this small drawing and some notes, right? And then I go into CAD and I show you a computer render of what this is gonna look like. Do you have my cat? Oh! It's so cool. So cats look crazy, all the prongs stick up, it like looks a little, you know. I'm gonna cut them down. So you kind of do have to have a little bit of an imagination there. But most people are like, Yes, I love it, or they can say, Hey, you know what? I wish the band was thicker, thinner. Now I'm thinking, I wish I was sitting at higher, lower. Oh, you know what? I do want to hit an aloe. So here's your chance to like really, you know, change it and make it yours. Once you finalize it, we make a mold, we pour the metal, polish, and set the stones, and then I hand it to you in a box. And then I want to hear the whole proposal story.

SPEAKER_03 14:49

The best part I think of our proposal story, there were several. He told me after he saw you, he went to Whole Foods and bought some orange juice that we love, like the fresh pressed orange juice. But he noticed on the label it said Preston, New Jersey, like New Jersey City, and he scratched the label.

SPEAKER_01 15:11

So I wouldn't need it.

SPEAKER_03 15:17

But he did that, so I wouldn't realize that you that he had been here to see you. My other favorite was after he picked it up and then we went to the bar, and you're into the back.

SPEAKER_01 15:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 15:36

I was like so sweet, yeah. He was like, oh, stare with the ring and the candlelight. That was so sweet.

SPEAKER_03 15:45

It was really funny. He was like, I wouldn't even put it on the hook. He's like, I didn't want a chance, like forgetting it. You know, the proposal stories are so diverse. Like I remember like my friend Stephanie when her fiance, now husband, came to you for the ring. And she was funny. She said that there was a moment where they were going somewhere in the car and she programmed, was going to program the GPS, and she was like, What were you doing at Love Vlogs?

SPEAKER_01 16:13

And he goes, Oh, that's champion.

unknown 16:15

Damn it.

SPEAKER_01 16:18

Oh my god, he goes, just forget, just forget it. Just ignore you saw it.

SPEAKER_03 16:23

So, what are your tips for when someone's about to propose and gone through the process of trying to get the ring? How do you really like protect and create that surprise?

SPEAKER_05 16:35

Yeah, oh my goodness. So I always tell them, like, if you have no place to hide it, you can leave it with me until you're ready. Because some people like go home and do it right away, even though they have a plan because they're like so excited when they get it in their hand. And I'm like, if you have a plan, you can like leave it here if you think you're gonna let the cat out of the bag too soon. Um, but yeah, definitely I tell that story sometimes too. I'm like, make sure you erase whatever's on your ways or your garments so like you weren't here. Location finding. So a lot of people turn off their location, or I'm like, you better come home with Takaria, which is across the street. Yeah, so that's what you mean. I do not be able to pick out diamonds. I was like, oh, you gotta have like your plan, you know, to keep it a little extra secret. It's so like fun and funny what people do. A lot of people come in sweating because they like are like, oh, I'm on a run, quote unquote. And yeah, they just especially during COVID, because now this is like a whole different beast, right? Because a lot of times you're working from home or your partner's always around you. It's not like you get off the train, you come to me, and then you go home. Yeah, yeah. So it's it's been a little bit of a different situation post-COVID about trying to hide things and then hide what you're doing and make it a real surprise.

SPEAKER_03 17:47

Yeah, I think the best proposals are like a true surprise, even if you're expecting it on some level, there's something about being caught off guard by the person that you love and trust in this incredibly moving and like romantic and I don't know, just meaningful way. Yes, I love those proposals. I know it's cool that you get to be a part of that. Have you gone to any weddings for any couples?

SPEAKER_05 18:16

I have, yeah. So I love this ring, it's called the Queen Arlene. She has this like beautiful elongated cushion, and we've become friends over the years. So we went to her wedding and it was so fun. And like, even in the speech, like the best man referenced us because then he got his ring from us too, and I was so honored. And then at the beginning of next month, we're going to a wedding too, and we did their wedding bands. And then sometimes when it's like a pop-up proposal, they'll be like, Oh my god, like I'm proposing, but everybody's meeting at this restaurant or bar. We'll like stop by and like buy people drinks and like say congratulations.

SPEAKER_04 18:52

So that's always nice to be invited to and see us like fresh hands.

SPEAKER_03 18:57

The fresh hand, like, yeah, the moment you see your ring on your hand, it's beyond because I think I know for myself I always had somewhat of an idea, but I could never really picture it because I was like, it doesn't exist yet, it doesn't exist yet. Like I know what I would like, but I know it doesn't, it's not been made yet. And yeah, being able to like see it in the box, know that he had a hand in deciding it, and that you were also like integral in that as well, and like creating the thing, it was like what else can I say?

SPEAKER_05 19:35

But yes, like this is it, like absolutely. It's so sweet and personal because he like selected the stone out of an array of stones, and he was like, This is the stone I'm attracted to and want to like see all the time, you know. It's just really sweet to see.

SPEAKER_03 19:49

When we first got engaged, he would always just like take my finger and like look at it. Yeah. Like he felt like he was a part of that, which you know, no shade to traditional jewelers or things like that, but I think going the custom route is so special and it's so unique. One of the questions I wanted to ask you was like, I know a lot of times people have family stones that they want to use, or they have a ring that belonged to their late mother or grandmother, something like that that they want to use. How do you work with clients who come in with this sort of attachment to a particular piece already?

SPEAKER_05 20:26

Yeah, so it's interesting. I'm always hoping if they do want to use a family stone that the customer getting it is gonna like the shape. Yeah, right. Because what if you're like, oh, it's round and I want it a radiant? Or so uh we always talk about that, and then sometimes they're like, Oh, I just want to like leave it in the setting and like resize it, and then we'll do something with the future partner, future fiance post-proposal, right? Which then they can have a hand in designing it, which is really nice. But yeah, it's so cool to see antique diamonds. I love like the way they're cut, I think they're so different and unique, and I think an antique setting is so nice, and you can always dress it up with like a modern band, too. We do have a lot of like vintage-inspired settings too.

SPEAKER_03 21:11

So I like what you're saying, it's kind of the idea to bridge the worlds to maybe use the stone or maybe use something about that original ring that you know belonged to the sentimental person, and then repurpose it in a way that works for the person who's gonna be wearing it.

SPEAKER_05 21:29

Yeah, because you have to love it if you're gonna wear it every day. You can use a family ring on your right hand, it could be a promise ring, it can be turned into a necklace, it could still be a family heirloom, yeah, but maybe it's not your ring. Because that's also special when you're like, okay, I like love my ring. It wasn't it.

SPEAKER_03 21:48

It's it's such a really cool feeling, too, because when you give your ring, it's almost like it has always been on your hand. I remember that first morning. Oh my god, I went to the bathroom for my morning business and I was like, I don't feel like I can take a poop.

SPEAKER_01 22:09

With this gorgeous dog. I was sitting with the toilet, like looking at my hand like, don't get dirty, don't get screwed.

SPEAKER_05 22:26

You do everything with your right hand.

SPEAKER_03 22:28

Yeah, for a couple of weeks I was like right hand only. Like anytime I would reach with my left hand, I would use just like my fingertips because I didn't want to be like them touching.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

So funny. So when the person gets the ring. Is it okay to go to the bathroom, wash your hands?

SPEAKER_05 22:48

Go to the bathroom and wash your hands. You can swim, but like, you know, you gotta be that's where people mainly lose their rings. I always tell people, like, no lotion and notion, because that's where like, you know, it falls off. So you wanna be like really mindful of that. But washing your hands is okay. Washing your hands is totally fine. If you have white gold, the rhodium plate on the white gold might like come off faster if you're using a lot of hand sanitizer. So if like you're a teacher or in the medical profession, I'd want to be mindful of that. But yeah, I do it.

SPEAKER_03 23:23

Showering, shampooing.

SPEAKER_05 23:25

Yeah, I mean, what I liked for the health of my ring, I do like to take my ring off when I come home and I put it on when I leave. So then if I'm like doing stuff around the house, like cooking and everything, it's clean. And then that way when you're like putting on makeup or doing your face routine, it's better. Yes, you're just like keeping it nice and clean. So that's good for the health of your ring in general. And then you once a year you come in just like your car gets a tune-up. Come on in, I'll make sure everything's nice and tight, we'll polish it, we'll get it looking nice and swiffy, and then hand it back to you.

SPEAKER_03 23:57

So what about sleeping in your ring?

SPEAKER_05 23:59

Mmm, I personally don't sleep in my ring. I know people who do, but if you like come home and you take it off and you put it in the same place, I always think that's important. Like you're committed to putting it in this like one like jewelry dish or box or whatever it is, then you're better off. Yeah. Because that way, you know, it's not gonna like gonna catch on anything. Also, to clean my ring, like brushing my teeth or doing like my facial routine, I'll like clean my ring during it.

SPEAKER_03 24:23

Oh, like an idea. What uh about cooking? Because I was watching a season of Top Chef. And one of the contestants who's in the finale got engaged before they came back to this big five-course meal cook, and she was butchering fish with it. She was like, you know, doing all kinds of things in the kitchen, no love, just like diamond out.

SPEAKER_05 24:52

I would personally take it off just for cleanly and hygiene purposes. I've totally cleaned somebody's ring one time and they pulled out a piece of rosemary, and she's like, I haven't cooked with rosemary in years.

SPEAKER_01 25:03

And I was like, okay, I've been under a ring for like a long time. Yeah. I was like, oh yeah. The ring has a new name, it's called the rosemary. Oh, that's really funny.

SPEAKER_05 25:18

Yeah, yeah. So if you like take it off when you're kind of like doing like things around the house, like your ring is just like, and putting it in that same space so you never wonder where it is. Yeah, and then it just becomes like you always know that it's there, right?

SPEAKER_03 25:33

And you don't even have to think about it. It's like there are only two places in this entire house where it would be, like by the bathroom sink when they took it off to XYZ or in this box or dish. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. What are some like trends in engagement ring design that you're seeing now?

SPEAKER_05 25:54

Yeah, okay, so sustainability with me is always gonna be on trend. So we really like Montana sapphires right now, and Montanas are amazing because they have so many different shades of blue, but they also come in a beautiful, like burnt orange color. They're really just beautiful stones, but it's also hyper ethically mined, and we know the miners directly, but we also know the people who cut the stones. So we love that there's a full traceability before it gets to me. Right, and we can also buy rough and have somebody cut the stones. So if we want a really funky shape, like we can have them cut. So I love Montanas right now. I think those are super on trend, and I think they will be on trend for a long time. They're also very environmentally friendly. I think the room that you have, like the um like rose color champagne, like people are after that. That's hard and rare to find in Diamond. So people love that hint of pink, but not pink pink. Oh, love. The thick band is on trend right now. I'm doing a lot of thick bands and I love it.

SPEAKER_03 26:58

It's crazy. Like, I so like I've had the like the idea in my head for a long time, and like and now I feel like I'm not as trendy or whatever, which is fine because I didn't pick it for the trend, but it's really nice to see people kind of going in the same direction, nothing over the top, which I think has really been dominating for so long. This sort of big statement diamond that you never wear. Like it ends up in a safe and you wear your band a lot of times.

SPEAKER_05 27:30

Yeah. Uh another thing, if you do want to do like the bigger diamond, a lot of people do old mine cuts or like something called like a mobile, which is like kind of a cross between an oval and a marquee. I don't know. I feel like what's on trend at my store is always like really cool because I just get like a cool bride and groom or like couple in general. So yeah, I think those edgy kind of fringe things that people are after are definitely on trend. I still get a ton of beautiful solitaire emeralds and like beautiful ovals as well. People love lab-grown diamonds right now, but there's still tons of like natural diamonds coming through as well. That's interesting.

SPEAKER_03 28:12

I've always, I mean, I remember watching a reality TV show, and they were kind of giving the guy a hard time because he went with a moissanite, you know, stone. And and everybody that knew the bride was like, we're a little luxury, like it's not even a real diamond.

SPEAKER_05 28:30

Like, is there a difference in your moissanite is a little bit different. It's it's originally made from a meteorite, right? It has like a cool backstory, but it's a hundred percent made in a lab. So it is a little different than a lab-grown diamond and a natural diamond. It has a little bit of a rainbow effect, it's super pretty, but if the customer wants that, give it to them. Like, I think it it makes for a beautiful ring too, you know, and it's all about what the person wants. Yeah. Yeah, so I like being the jeweler that gets the person what they want.

SPEAKER_03 29:03

Um, so yeah, so you've got a lot of custom clients that come to you, and that part of the design process. I like this wasn't necessarily one of the questions, but creatively for you. What do you feel when you're like making these things that you know people are gonna really cherish for?

SPEAKER_05 29:22

Oh my god, I'm like always so honored to like hear the whole story. I love hearing how they met, I love like how they came to the design they wanted to come to, and I just the process of going through the cats with them and showing them what could be. It's just so exciting. But yeah, the end result is always beautiful, and I love hearing where the ring ends up going, right? Like how it gets proposed with, and that ring itself has a whole story to it.

SPEAKER_03 29:52

Yeah, you're kind of birthing these mementos into people's lives, and a lot of times people have been thinking about this for a really long time, and they've been thinking, like, oh, I would want this kind of ring or this kind of proposal, and you get to be the the nexus, the birthing point for that.

SPEAKER_05 30:12

Yeah, it's so beautiful. It's sometimes like people are like, Oh, this is the only thing I wear every single day. Yeah, so I think that's so cool. Like, you can change your haircut, you can change your clothes, but like with your ring, you're like, Oh, I wear this every day.

SPEAKER_03 30:24

Yeah, it's true. Immediately was like, I never want this off of my body. The second I take it off to put it in the box or the dish or wherever, I kind of miss it.

SPEAKER_01 30:34

Oh no! Exactly. I got my ring tan on. Oh, you have a ring tan, it looks really good.

SPEAKER_03 30:41

So I was like, well, at least I have that if I'm like, I'm still sometimes will forget to put it on, and then like the whole day I'm just mourning that we can just have the ring tan.

SPEAKER_01 30:50

Not wearing it.

SPEAKER_05 30:52

But what about like those couples that don't want a ring? Yeah, I love these couples too. We've done wedding earrings because she was like allergic on her hand to different metals, and I loved it. Like, she just did like these beautiful kind of like chandelier earrings where we picked out all these like beautiful stones, and he proposed with it, and it was like stunning. Oh we've done like couples that both want bracelets, and if they work with their hands and they know like they're personal trainers, or like you know, they're not gonna wear a ring on a regular basis. Bracelets are a great option. And you have like these really great permanent bracelet options, yes, and a lot of couples come in just to do that just for fun. So you can totally do like a permanent bracelet, anklet, or necklace. But yeah, I love these alternatives to rings.

SPEAKER_03 31:41

Yeah, like my partner his his younger brother, they proposed to each other with watches. That's so cool. Like he really always liked vintage watches, and they don't wear them necessarily every day, but it was something to kind of mark the moment to be symbolic, yeah, which is what I really think a proposal like should be and could be. Like, I'm I I mean, I'm always a sucker for like you know, proposing with like a candy ring or something like that. But you know, if you can have something tangible to mark the moment, it really does stay with that object. Yeah, absolutely. There's a there's something that happens when you look at it and you go, aha, that was the moment. I think that's just super special.

SPEAKER_05 32:29

But I like the idea that the permanent bracelets are super cute or necklaces. Oh yeah, we're doing permanent ID bracelets, so like you can get like a little ID charm and we can engrave whatever you want. So maybe it's like your new last name or like a special date. Or yeah, you can even do handwritings. Yeah, yeah, or like your your partner can like write love or your name or their name, and and we can laser inscribe it on there too, so we can make it a little personal and extra special. What are some creative proposals stories that you've heard? So I love this one person. We just worked together on the ring, so she didn't know about the ring, and he brought her to Central Park and they did a character tour, but he was drawing him proposing to her. Yeah, so that was really sweet. So when it spun around, it was like him on the knee. So he had paid the person, you know, to draw this picture. That is so creative. Yeah, and it was really sweet, and she just like looks so sweet and so surprised. And a lot of people do it in like you know, beautiful things that you do during the day. Like you go on a dog walk along the Hudson, we're in like such a beautiful area, and a lot of people like propose there. You're there all the time, but now it's like extra special, right? And you get to live that all the time.

SPEAKER_03 33:50

Like that. Like that was always my thing, wasn't it? I want the kind of like the quotidian, the everyday thing, but to make it different this day, like whether I was holding laundry or in this case I was just waking up on the weekend thinking I was gonna sleep in. But you know, I think those proposals are super special too. And I think a lot of the listeners to this podcast are probably after that sort of romantic whimsy, because then it almost doesn't even matter what the proposal is. Right. It's like it's the bright person, it's the right ring or bracelet or chandelier urine, and it makes it so much easier to just say yes and you know, to feel like okay, I am I'm living my truest story. Like this is the this is the moment.

SPEAKER_01 34:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 34:45

What do you love about what you do? I mean, I love hearing the stories and listening to how people met, but I love sourcing stones. I love to go to gem shows in Arizona every year and meet the miners, the people who brought it out of the earth. I love to hear the story. I love to meet the lapidaries, the people who cut the stones, and why they cut it the way they cut it. I like the history behind stones and why they are named the way they are, you know, where they came from on the planet and you know, the geology behind it. I love a special, unique natural stone for somebody that nobody has ever seen and nobody has, like yours. Like yours is so special and it's so unique, and there's only one of them, right? This like beautiful hint of pink, like nobody has this like exact shade, right? Yeah, it's just so sparkly, it's stunning. So sparkly. But I like love finding something and then like you know, showing it to either the person who's going to receive it or the partner, and then being like, yeah, that's the one. That's the one I'm picking stare at forever.

SPEAKER_03 35:54

I love that that's the part that you enjoy the most because I think it's the thing that I know the least about and most people know the least about.

SPEAKER_01 36:04

So you have what is it, cut, color, clarity, what are the scenes? Carrot weight, you got it.

SPEAKER_05 36:11

You got the four, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:14

How does someone take that like framework and find a stone? Is it a feeling or is it sometimes like a mix of those sort of things where we don't want to go above a certain carrot because we don't want it to overwhelm their finger? Like, what is it?

SPEAKER_05 36:28

Yeah, and it's absolutely like up to the customer. Like some people, like how we were talking about in Europe, everybody had like smaller stones, really beautiful. But here, like a lot of people like something a little bigger, maybe. So it all depends on the customer.

SPEAKER_03 36:43

So you don't necessarily have to use those things as a guide mark. But what about this, like the old uh oh, you have to spend like three months salary or whatever it will cost?

SPEAKER_05 36:53

I don't agree with it. Three months salary. I think you should spend whatever you want to spend on your ring. Like if your ring is gonna cost less than three months salary, do it. You don't have to spend a lot of money on your ring to get something you really love. If you do want to spend a lot of money on it, sure, no problem. But but I don't think you know you have to spend a certain amount. We have like the high rulers, and I like love seeing the rings come out of that. I just always recommend people not to finance their ring or something like that. I find that process very predatory. So I'm like, you should buy what you can afford.

SPEAKER_03 37:28

It's a really I think that's really smart because there's so many stories where I've heard of people wanting rings, particularly diamonds, that were out of the budget of the person who wanted to give that to them. And I've always kind of questioned whether or not that was from a genuine place of wanting to just solidify the relationship in this next level of commitment, or if it was wanting to have a certain status symbol, or have something that you know other people didn't have, you know, this this this sort of things that were not about what the whole proposal and engagement process is supposed to be about. So yeah, I love the idea that somebody shouldn't be taking out a huge loan or being like, I gotta work to pay this off for the next couple of years.

SPEAKER_05 38:22

Yeah, and it'll be beautiful. There's so many ways to like achieve the lucky one.

SPEAKER_03 38:27

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's so and I think I've noticed that with a lot of I would say women in particular, where they have this idea in their head and they they can't deviate from it, and then they think it has to be a certain carrot or it has to be a certain color or clarity or you know, worth a certain number of you know, their partner's finances, and it's just it breaks my heart because I'm like you could have a beautiful ring and and a beautiful marriage.

SPEAKER_05 38:57

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I've had a one of a kind ring, and somebody came in and she bought it for herself before she was in a relationship because she was like, That's my ring, it's one of a kind, and if it sells, I'm gonna my heart is gonna be broken.

SPEAKER_03 39:12

Really? Yeah, so you've had people come in pre-partnership, pre-engagement, and shocked.

SPEAKER_05 39:20

Oh, a million times. You gotta find out what like shape looks good on your finger. Maybe if you want a color stone, what color looks good on your finger? Uh, people come in all the time. Okay, and I'll like recommend it. Yeah, I think you should always try on everything, right?

SPEAKER_03 39:34

Yeah, this is really interesting because I think in some people's head there's like this taboo of like, I don't want to go in and feel like I'm a desperate person looking at these things, but I remember like coming into your shop and then trying in a design that I thought I would have liked and then going, no.

SPEAKER_05 39:52

Yeah, you went for the opposite of what you first wanted. Yeah, I was like, oh wow, actually, this looks terrible. That's why it's so important to try it on in person.

SPEAKER_03 40:00

Okay, so you can make an appointment at your local jeweler. Yes, try some things on, go without your partner, go with your partner if they're you know involved in this part of the process.

SPEAKER_05 40:10

Yeah, go with a friend. Yeah, yeah. It's super fun because then you could just like casually try stuff on and like you know, get an idea of what you want, and then you can really hone in on it when you get to that point.

SPEAKER_03 40:22

And there's no pressure, yeah. And that's one of the things I think I love about like your process is you've always kind of taken notes, and you have your note card that you kind of okay, what would you like, and like how thick of a band, and all these things that you kind of really hone in on who your customer is and what they would want, and I think that's how you're able to deliver like beyond what they thought they wanted, because you have this ability to take, okay, this is what they've said they wanted, tried a few things on, I've seen it on their hands now, and I have this idea of what's gonna work.

SPEAKER_05 41:03

I think custom and making it your own is is the way to go.

SPEAKER_03 41:07

Yeah. So we talked a little bit about the budgeting piece of it because that is the big question, especially for the person who's doing the proposing.

SPEAKER_06 41:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:19

When people come to you with dollar concerns, how do you approach them for what to expect?

SPEAKER_05 41:26

Is there a deposit in people bid? Well, there's so many different options in my store. I mean, I have things that are $12 in the store that are made of gold fill, but I have like $180 bands that are 14 karat gold, right? That are perfect to you know propose with if you want to do like a plain band look too. So there is something to fit in like every single budget. But for deposit-wise, if you want the stone, then you buy the stone and then you pay for the setting afterwards. Yeah, because a lot of times the setting ideas change. Yeah, but then you own the stone.

SPEAKER_03 42:02

So you know you at least know that this is the the stone. I think for all couples, no matter who they are, uh hearing their proposal stories and their wedding stories and all of these things, I'm like, it's always a moment. It doesn't matter who you are, from what planet you come from, or what walk of life, like this moment is such a special one. And I just want to thank you personally for giving me this. It's as simple as you know, our love and our commitment to each other. I used to have so many fears and anxieties about um like getting proposed to a person in particular, um that it wouldn't be the right person, that the ring would reflect something that was totally not me. And to know that someone like you who has this gift and ability that you have and you care about the planet and sourcing stones from a place that is ethical, like to know that that has a hand in this, it gives me so much more pride in being engaged. One of the things that I love about engagement rings and being able to do this custom process is it feels like it is a collab between me and the next chapter of my life with this person. There were so many elements that were already true to me, but then there were so many things about this ring that I'm like, ah, this is also handy. A marriage to me is a collaboration between two people in this instance. Um to create a life together that has not existed before. And when you get to go through this ring process, I hope people decide to choose a customer room because it is a clean between. Three people. You, your partner, your designer. Um, to create something that mimics that beauty that you are now creating in your relationship in the world and this family that you're creating, or whatever it is that it looks like for you.

SPEAKER_02 44:19

The Love Department is produced in Brooklyn, New York. Our theme song is Love by Adam Baldwin. Special thank you to the producer Karen Manto. I want to say also a big thank you to those of you who left us a review, especially last season. If you enjoyed this show, please let us know. It really means a lot and it helps other listeners find the love department. We so appreciate when you subscribe to this podcast. And if you have a great story you think we should hear, reach out to us at love department.com. Thanks so much for listening to The Love Department. I'm Nick Lockhart. Take a full breath and hand on heart for the forecount. I wish you love.