S1 E10 Stacy & Cat "Dora's Moms Have Got it Going On"

Since the recording of this episode in 2024, Stacy and Cat have since parted ways. But the wisdom and humor in this episode remain so touching and we're grateful they shared a bit of that with us at The Love Department.

Fashion icon Stacy London and the hilarious comedian Cat Yezbak met at an event and had a patient-steady start to their romance which blossomed during the COVID 19 pandemic. On this episode we talk about navigating personal loss, menopause, love in the spotlight, how family origins impact our views of love, and how pets are more than just animals.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:03

Um, I always tease Stacy, like, uh, now that she has come out and she came out about our relationship, and um, she gets asked to do all of these LGBTQ events and talks, and I'm like, I'm the one who's been gay. Forever. Forever and ever on men. Okay? Never had a boyfriend, never had need for one. And now this one comes out late in life, lesbian, and she's just getting all of this LGBT love.

SPEAKER_02 0:38

Welcome to the Love Department. This is episode 10. The Love Department is the heartwarming podcast exploring the nature of love and relationships. I'm your host, Nick Lockhart, writer and former matchmaker turned love theorist. I also once opened for Seinfeld the first time I ever did stand-up comedy. I'm so grateful that you are here today. In this season one finale, I wanted to have an extra special duo on for you. This couple, I think, epitomizes what it means to find love and express it on your own terms. In this episode, we talk about being dog parents, being each other's number one fan, supporting each other through major life events and changes, and balancing your private life with the spectacle of the public eye. Stacey London and Kat Yezbeck have an undeniable connection that is sarcastic, warm, and confidently secure. I just love how playful they are with each other, and although you can't see them, know that they are cozy and cuddly in their upstate home on the day of this interview. Stacy, who you may remember from What Not to Wear on TLC, shares what it was like to come out about the relationship and how Kat's love has empowered her in so many wonderful ways. I can't wait to share this interview with you. First of all, thank you guys for being here. Um, you know, when I started the love department, I realized that love is a really complicated thing. And I was never really told how this building a life together with someone thing works. I think it wasn't until I fell in love with someone myself that I realized that I didn't know shit about being in love.

SPEAKER_03 2:42

It's funny that you say, Nick, that you say you didn't start this podcast until you fell in love and because you didn't know what love was. And I think there's something significant about saying that because I didn't, I don't feel like I knew what love was until I met Kat. And it it didn't dawn on me like until deeper into our relationship. I think I went into our relationship with the same mindset that I pretty much went into every relationship with was that it'll last for a little while and then it'll like break up, will break up over something that it was gonna be temporary. And instead, you know, I think COVID had a lot to do with us grounding in each other. I don't think I would have survived COVID without Kat. And it made me feel very different about our relationship. Like I'm ready to like put my stakes up. I've dug in my heels. I was never like that before. So, you know, now you're stuck with me.

SPEAKER_01 3:40

Great. I think my parents have been married like 63 years, I want to say, something like that, maybe a little more. And it is funny because you kind of, if you do grow up with if you're fortunate enough to grow up with a lot of love and like parents who are super loving to each other and to their children, like you just assume, oh, that okay, well, well, I'll do that at some point. I'll, I'll have that. And now so similarly to you, it was like I had no idea actually how to do that or the tools to, you know, I don't know. I and I also don't think I was adult enough before I met Stacey. And in the years that we've been together, we've both grown a lot, I think. And so, um, yeah, rambling way to say, I just assumed it would happen, but I didn't really know how it would happen.

SPEAKER_03 4:36

That's funny because I didn't have anything to model against. Like my parents got divorced when I was four, and um, my dad and my stepmother were together for a long time, but she was not. I was, I didn't see my dad and my stepmother all the time. I didn't grow up with them. Um, I, you know, I grew up going back and forth from house to house. And I really feel like nothing was really modeled for me in a in a funny kind of way, whether it was a love relationship or um survival skills. My parents were busy doing their own things. I think that's a good way to put it. I think Kat is so much more um grounded in normal family skill sets. Like she knows how to cook and she knows a little bit about gardening. And I'm like completely clueless. I can boil water, I can make eggs.

SPEAKER_01 5:23

And when I don't, basically I'm like, babe, I'm gonna call my mom. And she'll be like, okay, yeah, call your mom. Call your mom because then we then we'll get it figured out very quickly.

SPEAKER_03 5:31

But if we called my mom, uh all she would she she wouldn't be able to tell us anything. All she would talk about is like her days as a venture capitalist.

SPEAKER_01 5:38

It would be a one fun fun, wonderful call, but we might not, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:42

We might not learn anything by the end of it. But I do think that um the way that you are brought up has such a significant effect on the way that you your you grow in terms of your character, but also in your ability to make mistakes and kind of reopen wounds that maybe you didn't get, you know, resolved as a child. And then there comes a point where you're like, wait a second, I have to take responsibility for what those wounds are and not choose people that are going to reinforce them, but choose somebody who's going to be my counterbalance in a way. And it took me, you know, Kat was saying before she wasn't grown up enough, maybe to have a relationship. I wasn't either. I think that I felt very emotionally stunted. And I was like, you know, I thought love was only about the fireworks, only about that, like can't eat, can't sleep, can't stop thinking about the person all the time, not the actual day-to-day of safety tanks and taxes and shit that you just you don't think of as romantic, but I actually think of as very interlaced with like, who do you want to spend your life with?

SPEAKER_02 6:46

And what better romance than the one that all New Yorkers know by heart? It wouldn't be a New York love story if we didn't mention the impact of the TV series Sex and the City. But Stacy and Kat have a rather unique meet cute that actually involves one of the cast members. Stacy and Kat met in a way that they describe as super gay. It's also super cute. So, who wants to start with how you met?

SPEAKER_03 7:19

Oh, you go. I always tell this story.

SPEAKER_01 7:21

Oh my, it's such a gay way. It feels, it feels like it's fake. It's so gay. It was at the time when Cynthia Nixon was running for governor of New York State. Thank you, Cynthia Nixon, for bringing us together. Um, so Stacy was hosting with a friend of hers a party for Cynthia Nixon. A fundraiser. That's what you do when you do that's a real thing. A fundraiser for Cynthia Nixon. My friend said, Hey, do you want to come to this event? So I got dressed up and it was in the afternoon on like a I don't know, a Sunday.

SPEAKER_03 7:58

A Sunday. It was the worst time to have a fundraiser. It was like at the end of August, beginning of September, like everybody was still away. Because I'm like, how are we throwing this fundraiser with no people in New York City?

SPEAKER_01 8:10

Like that's why I got an invitation, basically. So they were like, nobody's around. That woman, invite her. So I didn't know me at the time. So I got invited and I went and it was a lovely event. And I'll let you take it from here.

SPEAKER_03 8:28

Oh my god. Why do I have to take it from here? First of all, I remember meeting Kat. So our mutual friend introduced us, and she was wearing all white, if I remember correctly. And I shook her hand and immediately felt like electricity. And she looked at me and she said, Wow, you are so beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 8:55

I did.

SPEAKER_03 8:56

And I mean, I'm not gonna lie, I'm a sucker for a good line. That was a good move. I mean, come on. Like, here's this hot woman telling me that I'm beautiful. I was like, hmm, what is this feeling I'm having?

SPEAKER_01 9:06

I really was taken aback because I had seen um what not to wear. It's funny because now, whenever we run into people who, you know, say to Stacy, like, really, what not to wear, I loved it. I used to watch it with my parents. I did too. And I used to watch what not to wear with my parents. And um, and I remember thinking this Stacy London person is very beautiful. But in fact, that day that I met her on the Sunday in New York, I was taken aback by how beautiful she was in person compared to like what I thought she looked like. I really, and just her whole vibe and her whole aura. And I really was taken aback, and it was very genuine, and I meant it, and I said it.

SPEAKER_03 9:52

But I do want to say that it is pretty shocking. Like, I didn't realize that television really does kind of distort the way people look. It's very weird. I remember the first time I met Paige Davis from Trading Spaces, I couldn't believe it. I was like, you look completely like different from what I assumed I knew that you look like on television. There's some weird distortion, and it is it makes a difference. Like when you meet somebody in real life that you've seen on TV or whatever. But I remember thinking, like, I want to know more about this person. Paige Davis or me? No, not yeah, not Paige Davis. I know. Okay. Oh, okay, okay, okay. No, about you. Oh, cool, cool.

SPEAKER_01 10:34

And we talked a little bit about the at the at the We didn't talk too much at the event because you were really busy. We talked a little bit, and then we um Did you ask for my number? I don't know if I asked my friend for her number or we oh, we were connected on a like a text thread because the three of us were gonna go have dinner or something, which never ended up happening.

SPEAKER_02 10:58

That August bolt of white lightning Stacy felt when they shook hands, was no passing summer storm. You know, it's actually pretty rare to feel sparks when you meet a new love interest for the first time. And while sparks do exist in some first meetings, they certainly don't determine the future of the relationship. In fact, it would actually take a few more casual group meetings, a few rescheduled dates over the course of the next year before these two would actually connect for real.

SPEAKER_01 11:34

Many things happened in between. We didn't end up seeing each other again. We tried to, but we couldn't. And I was sort of like, okay, this isn't happening. And we finally saw each other.

SPEAKER_03 11:45

And you were traveling a lot at the time. I did, I went on a vacation. She had lots of flings.

SPEAKER_01 11:50

That was it. I didn't have lots of flings, but I was really living it up. She was living, she was living it up. I was living it up, and um she was just traveling in Ireland with her mom and having flings wherever she went. That's that's not a hundred percent true, but it's a little bit true. And um, I yeah, so I was sort of just like, I really like this woman, but it seems to not be able to be happening. And in the midst of us meeting, something very, very sad was happening in Stacy's life.

SPEAKER_03 12:22

My dad, my dad was very, very sick. And I remember Kat posted about her her dog dying. I wrote you a DM and I was like, you can borrow Dora anytime. And that was when my dad was was sick, and I could not say yes to going out like on a Thursday night. I always had the caveat, you know, I may not be able to make it because I was spending so much time with my dad. And so we wound up spending um, I invited her to a marathon party that my friend always has, and that is a tradition every year. And it turned out that our mutual friend was running it.

SPEAKER_00 12:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:58

So we got to go and spend the day together. And it was great. That day, nothing happened. You didn't we didn't kiss.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

I walked her home. Very, very, you know, chivalrous. And I didn't, yeah, I left thinking, like, oh, I guess her. That was like, that was not hot or cool, or so I was worried about that for many, many days.

SPEAKER_03 13:18

Oh, I bet. But the but then so she'd also invited me to her birthday party, which was November 9th. And I was like, I I would love to come, right? I mean, here's like a dinner with her friends, and I get to hang out, and I couldn't make it. My dad was sick. And then unfortunately, he died the next day. So imagine like doing her 40th birthday party and unveiling my dad's tombstone in 24 hours. It was it was a lot. That was a lot. That was a big that was a big hurdle. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:48

That was a year, yeah. A year later, um, when we met, I was turning 39 and I had invited her to the party, and I was so excited that she was gonna come and meet my friends and hang out. And um, and then her father passed away the next day, which was really heartbreaking, and I knew how close she was to her dad. And so then um I went to her father's funeral. She did.

SPEAKER_03 14:14

I I was just about to say, one of the only things that I can get super emotional about is that Kat or that my dad didn't get to meet Kat because I swear to you, my entire family would trade me in to keep Kat around. And I I do think that it would have made um a big difference to my dad to see me settled and and happy. And that's the one thing I was so sad that like we were we weren't even together yet. It's not like he would have seen where we are now, but um but I I really he he was so special to me and it does make me sad that we never got to meet him.

SPEAKER_02 14:55

You know, there's something about death and loss of a loved one that reminds those of us left grieving to live life with a sense of urgency. Stacy's dad passing the day after Kat's birthday reminds me a bit of how I felt when my grandfather passed away. He was, I felt, the only person who really loved me unconditionally and showed it. And after he passed, I often wondered if I would ever meet someone who felt that way about me again. Enter, my now partner, who ironically has a birthday that's just days after my grandfather's. And the fact that Kat as a friend would show up to support Stacy in her grieving is just such a testament to Kat's character, but also foreshadowing her role in replacing the love lost with love found.

SPEAKER_01 15:57

I I am obsessed with my mom and dad. I love them like crazy. I'm obsessed with my family, and um, I'm now obsessed with Stacy's family. I adore all of them. I love being around them. I mean, I would hang out with them without Stacy being there. I have.

SPEAKER_03 16:11

She has. And also, like one of her cousins. Well, there are like I would say four cousins I'm super close to who text me without Kat for fashion advice all the time. Because the cousins for for cat are like siblings and they they're all around the same age. It's bizarre. You can't if you haven't experienced a family that large, you won't really understand what I'm talking about. It is overwhelming on every level, on every sensory level.

SPEAKER_01 16:39

You know, our background on my mom's side is that she, you know, Irish. Um, and then on my dad's side, he's Syrian and Lebanese. My grandmother uh on my dad's side was uh from Syria. My my grandfather was born on the boat from Lebanon to the to the US. And it's funny because I just was always around love, like family, food, dancing, like in each other's business, codependency, perhaps, you know. And well, I don't think there's a family that isn't weirdly codependent in some way. And it really was like the most, I feel so grateful, like looking back and being an older person and you know, having friends and hearing about their childhoods, et cetera, et cetera. I feel more and more grateful for the childhood that I have. And I really do think I was given examples of just how to love. I'll be like, hey, so a cousin is coming to the city to visit, you know, for dinner. She's like, which cousin? Have I met them? I'm like, no, not yet. She's like, can I get a family tree? Because everyone's a cousin. You have nine hundreds. Hundreds. I can't, I have can't keep anybody straight. Um and it's it's really it's very funny. And my my fourth cousin, like once removed, is as close to me as like my first cousin. But stay-I don't even know.

SPEAKER_03 17:58

I don't even have a fourth cousin once removed. There's like four people I talk to in my family all together. Like, I don't I don't understand these huge family gatherings. And also, I mean, I've been going now for for to for Christmas for three years, and we've made a lot of progress, right? We made a lot of progress just in terms of like me being there and them being okay and comfortable with me, and then you know, kind of uh ascending to a different kind of relationship. Like this past Christmas, I felt like really in the middle of it.

SPEAKER_01 18:32

Yeah, and that's what I was gonna say. It was really exciting for me to get to see, and it is exciting for me when I get to see Stacey in the middle of it, and her sort of having that like childhood that she never got to have, or like being in a big family with a lot of love.

SPEAKER_03 18:47

And you know what? It's really amazing how um uh uh that love is expressed. Like it really is something that's very much alive for them. I uh it it, you know, you have to admire people who really find that they're people. And I don't think that that is by accident. I don't think it's always as easy as people say that it's going to be. I think that there is a lot of compromise required and there's a lot of um forgiveness required. There are things that there are muscles that we don't really like to work very hard that are essential building blocks for a real relationship that can stand the test of time. I I mean, I sound like I'm preaching a little bit, but it's things, these are things that I've learned in the course of my relationship with Kat that I felt too childish before to really think about. You know, if I didn't like something somebody did, I was like, see ya.

SPEAKER_02 19:40

Yeah. I love what you said about it being like a muscle and building these things into your life that like the other person may have more naturally. Maybe they come from a family that's like super loving and tells them all the time that like the air that they breathe is like the most special thing in the world. And like being able to then enter into that as someone who didn't grow up with that is such a beautiful gift. Like now you have you know a mom you can call who can help you make more than pasta water.

SPEAKER_03 20:10

Well, I think it's important because I think, as I said before, we tend to look for people who are wounded the same way we are. That's what we recognize as love. And, you know, the person you think is actually gonna wind up, you know, being the the savior, first of all, nobody nobody saves anybody, but that idea that this will be the relationship is always the one that winds up being the one that hurts you because you can't have the same pain as somebody, identical kind of pain, I think childhood trauma, and be able to get past that. You don't heal each other, you hurt each other. And Kat and I have enough different experiences that um one, I had to learn a lot through her eyes that I would not have experienced earlier in my life. And it changed the way I think about a lot of things, and including, you know, culture, society, I mean, all sorts of things, justice, um, that I just did not grow up with. And she has such a sure sense of right and wrong, and in a way that that I'm I was never really exposed to, wasn't really part of the conversation. So I think it's very interesting. In a lot of ways, we're very different. In a lot of ways we're very similar, but it's the differences that I like more because I feel like those choices that Kat made in her life are very impactful in the way that I get to live mine.

SPEAKER_02 21:30

And when these two finally did get to go on a real date, the sparks were still there.

SPEAKER_03 21:37

I think our first date was December 5th.

SPEAKER_01 21:41

That's when we say our anniversary is because I just go from the first time we actually had a date. Um, and it's funny because my one of my closest friends, her and her girlfriend have the same. So we're always like, it's your kind regards.

SPEAKER_03 21:58

Do you remember?

SPEAKER_01 21:59

So, first of all, she This is what's funny about my girlfriend, who I love very much. She has no memory and no actual um she just so no, we didn't, Nick. The long and the short of it is. We did. On our first date, we actually went to Stacy's apartment. We ate MMs and we drank bourbon and we watched flea bags. Oh, that's true. That was our first date. That was our first date. Sorry.

unknown 22:30

Right.

SPEAKER_01 22:32

And the weight is in agreement. The reason.

SPEAKER_03 22:34

Okay. Just everybody, hold on one second. Because that was our official first date, December 5th. But we did hang out at Kind Regards a few days before that, because I happened to be near her neighborhood and I texted her and said, Hey, do you want to hang out? And I did. And we did. And we went to Kind Regards, which is a bar on the lower east side that we both still love to just stay. Excellent pigs and blankets for anybody who's interested.

SPEAKER_01 22:59

Good content. We had one of your birthday parties. We did. We did. And so she's sort of right, but she's sort of wrong.

SPEAKER_03 23:06

It was a so the pre-date was like November 30th, and the date date was December 5th. Something like that. And I I feel like that's also super gay. What's because we had like our first date December 5th, and then you went home for Christmas, and then of course we spent New Year's together. Yeah, yeah. You know, you fell in love with the dog.

SPEAKER_01 23:25

Yeah, the dog really took it to a whole nother level. Because I was falling for Stacy, and then what are you gonna do?

SPEAKER_03 23:31

I mean, she's also the dog loves Cat more than me.

SPEAKER_02 23:36

Yeah, no, this is exactly the same in our house.

SPEAKER_03 23:40

It happens. I mean, I suppose that's the sacrifice you make if you love somebody.

SPEAKER_02 23:44

Being a dog owner has many advantages. They're loyal and overtly loving, and you have a built-in detector when it comes to the dates you bring home. If, say, you bring home a date for the first time to meet your four-legged roommate, monitor the interaction. Let them sniff each other's butts. And if the meeting doesn't result in a bite or peeing on anybody's leg, you might have a keeper on your hands.

SPEAKER_01 24:17

I I will say this is that my girlfriend, again, caveat. I love her with all my heart. She is crazy about this dog. Like, we cannot leave the dog alone. Stacy didn't get the memo that Dora is a dog, in fact.

SPEAKER_03 24:36

And I Nobody in my family got that memo.

SPEAKER_01 24:39

Nobody got that memo.

SPEAKER_03 24:40

My sister has a dog, and my mom has a dog, and we all treat our dogs like they're human. And we can't leave them alone. And you know, we've made them totally neurotic and crazy.

SPEAKER_01 24:48

Stacy will like wake me up in the night. The dog is panting. Well, she's a dog. I mean, dogs do pant from time to time. Wow. You know? Wow.

SPEAKER_03 24:58

You just threw me under the bus for a podcast.

SPEAKER_01 25:01

I just need the world to know.

SPEAKER_03 25:02

This was not even a this isn't even stand-up. She did one stand-up joke about me once.

SPEAKER_01 25:08

I do incorporate, there's a lot of material, as you can imagine. I do incorporate Stacey and Dora into my stand-up. Usually I run the jokes by Stacy ahead of time.

SPEAKER_03 25:21

First of all, she hasn't done a joke about me and Dora in a long time. And it's only one joke. And not only that, I mean, come up with something else. Why don't you talk about me more in your stand-up? Uh-oh. This is the source of see. See. I'm terrified I'm gonna say the wrong thing. Meanwhile, the one joke she did tell, my family was in the audience and they were I could hear them laughing.

SPEAKER_01 25:42

And she was like, you know. I could hear them laughing out of everybody's laughter. I knew it was them.

SPEAKER_03 25:47

Because Dora loves cat. I mean, you know, Dora was my dog, was it being the keyword? And that also told me that I was like, don't let go of cat. Dora loves cat. Dora's opinion of people is pretty spot on. I'm not gonna lie. She really is very picky and she only likes, I mean, certain people. It's true. She passed so Kat passed the test.

SPEAKER_01 26:12

What has Dora taught you about love? Well, Dora's a bit of a maniac, and so she's taught me about love uh with patience, I would say, because Dora is, I would say like 12 pounds, and she is a Maltese Yorkie combo platter, which a trainer once told us is a double negative. And it shows because she is a wild beast on the streets of New York. And um, reining her in is uh yeah, it takes a lot of patience. And so I think I've learned a lot about that from Dora for sure.

SPEAKER_03 26:51

I think it's unfortunate that my anxiety probably transferred to Dora, and she's kind of an anxious dog. So she has a lot of leash aggression. Um, unfortunately. Kat didn't get here soon enough to fix that. But um but but Dora loves her the people that she loves, and but really being up here with us is sort of like her favorite thing in the world. Like she's got her parents and she's got um she never has to put on a leash.

SPEAKER_01 27:16

Stacy wants to start um pushing Dora in a stroller. I only if we're going somewhere for a long time and she gets tired. Like we cannot be lesbians and have a dog in a stroller. There's gotta be a line.

SPEAKER_03 27:34

But but but first of all, Dora is now eight years old. And if we go on a long hike or we go to a concert or we take her somewhere. Why would we take her dog to a concert? Who takes a dog to a concert? If we're if we're just outside somewhere and it's summer, whatever, and we have Dora and she gets tired, she can go to sleep in the stroller. I mean, it's like having a little duna for a dog.

SPEAKER_02 27:56

It's not right.

SPEAKER_03 27:58

She will not stand for it.

SPEAKER_02 28:00

And Dora wasn't the only one raving about Stacy's new love interest. It seemed everyone in Stacy's life felt the same way about Kat. Even strangers would call out the wonderful traits and say that this person was a good one. And it's that kindness that Stacy says she loves most about her girlfriend.

SPEAKER_03 28:21

We were at an event uh that a friend of ours threw the other night, and she said to me, No, no, I do like you. Just never break up with Kat. Just don't break up with her. And I was like, Oh, okay, thanks for that caveat. Kat is the kindest person I have ever met. Not just the kindest, the kindest, the coolest, and the funniest. But the kindness is something so rare. You do not see this kind of exponentially, I don't, I it just grows constantly, her kindness, her empathy for other people, but her kindness, like it gets everybody the first time they meet her. They all they all think she's the funniest person they ever met, but they walk away thinking that she is like the kindest person they have ever met. And I know this for a fact because she was called a quality person by somebody we both admire a great deal.

SPEAKER_01 29:14

Oh, I wonder.

SPEAKER_03 29:15

Remember?

SPEAKER_01 29:16

Oh, I was called a quality person.

SPEAKER_03 29:17

Wow, Marty Scorsese.

SPEAKER_01 29:19

Oh my god, you can't say that.

SPEAKER_03 29:20

I can't nick a quality person, a quality person. They had such a lovely conversation, and we were just, I was just so he was like quality.

SPEAKER_02 29:30

That is such high praise.

SPEAKER_01 29:32

I know. I honestly, it was, I mean, I love the man and and all of his work, and I I was honored by that compliment. Um you also had the cutest conversation. Yeah, it was it was like one of the nicest, sweetest conversations, and um, and that is very sweet that you say that, and thank you. That is that is a very nice compliment. I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_02 29:55

There was a time when Stacy wasn't so public about their relationship. And it's something that when we spoke about what it's like to live a life in the public eye, she said they were very intentional about what parts of it they wanted to share publicly. You know, coming out is something that's already really hard for a lot of people. And having to do so to your friends and your family and hundreds of thousands of other people, I can't imagine it was at all easy for them. But when the news broke that Stacy London was in a relationship with a woman, they both handled it with so much grace and strength that I'm really proud to be able to share their story on the love department. Of course, I remember, you know, Stacey from TV, and I was probably like the rest of the world, really kind of shocked and excited when you came out because I thought it was like just so bold and cool. And I think everybody assumed Clinton was out.

SPEAKER_03 31:01

I mean, I think he made reference to being a fairy a lot for people not to know. Like, you know, listen, that's not everybody. In the beginning, some people thought we were married. Some be, I mean, you know, some people just want to believe what they want to believe.

SPEAKER_02 31:13

What was that kind of like for you? And and and also for you too, Kat, because I think being when you're in the public eye in any way, sometimes people feel like they like you owe them something or a piece of you or more information. And then also just how do you balance keeping parts private?

SPEAKER_03 31:30

Well, for me, we waited a year, and and it was really important for me because I I thought that that was a pretty big thing to announce and then like have us break up, right? And I was still in that mentality of it's the first year. When I realized that um Kat was like an a relationship that I knew that I was investing in, you know, we had spent a year together, we had traveled the world together, like we had had uh just an amazing set of experiences that that I just knew I wasn't gonna go anywhere. Um, and also I had started to see kind of like rumors floating around, you know, the interwebs. And I did not like the idea of anybody telling my story but me. And, you know, Kat was my first serious relationship with the woman, and I wanted it to be, I wanted to give it the um respect and dignity that it deserved. And so I would not make an announcement like that carelessly. I talked to Kat before. I, you know, I mean, we we we decided together that it was like the time, it was the right time. And I cannot tell you the amount of goodwill that it garnered. I, you know, you never know what's going to happen or how people are going to react to anything you have to tell them, honestly. But to be in the public eye even a little bit, um, I I really felt so strongly about what the reaction was like. It was just, it was wonderful. I and maybe it's because of the times that we're living in. Um, I don't know. But for me, it was it was encouraging to see.

SPEAKER_01 33:10

I was just excited that I was referred to as her hot butch girlfriend. Yeah. I just I took a screenshot of that and I save it in my photos. It's my screensaver for my computer.

SPEAKER_03 33:21

It should be. It really should be, because that was why, you know, somebody was like, oh, when was somebody gonna say that Stacy had a hot butch girlfriend from what not to her or whatever? And I was like, nope, that does not get to be. That does not get to be how this happens. So um, and I think that that is actually, you know, like one of the things that's been nice is we get to decide what we want to share and what we don't want to share. Um, and I think in a world where everything is on display, things become a little bit performative. So I'm very careful um, you know, not to take everything like the week that we were at Cats Families, I I barely picked up my phone. I I did not want to make that experience something other than it was, which was for the family. And it's there are just certain times where I feel like it's not it's not for public consumption who we are.

SPEAKER_01 34:14

Yeah, that's true. Also, I'm nobody. I mean, nobody knows who I am, and no, I'm not, I mean, I'm a very important person to myself, Nick. But I'm not in the public eye. I don't, you know, nobody knows who I am, and it's not like um, you know, I'm Harry Stiles and Taylor Russell or something like that, where everybody is up isn't that everybody's up in everybody's business.

SPEAKER_03 34:41

But I don't mean it like that. I just mean that um, you know, that kind of announcement, like uh however you want to say it, coming out or whatever, I think I I felt very um strongly about doing it in the way that I thought was like the most genuine and the most authentic, without having to like explain who I am or my relationship with Kat, like over-explain it. And it it just felt like it came at the right time. And I think the genuine reaction of kindness came out of that, like true love and authenticity.

SPEAKER_01 35:15

Well, yeah, and in today's world, you know, social media everywhere all the time, and just like the level of um the way that people can be insanely unkind for no reason on social media and they're like hidden behind these computers or these phones. Um, you know, there will still be people who, for as not hugely well known as I am or we are, there will still be people who comment the nastiest things on like photos or just random, weird. But but it's it's I'm surprised by the kindness, but I'm also always taken aback by how social media has created this culture where people can kind of say anything um and do anything behind the protection of a phone or a screen. Um, I always tease Stacy, like, uh now that she has come out and she came out about our relationship, and um, she gets asked to do all of these LGBTQ events and talks. And I'm like, I'm the one who's been gay. Forever. Forever and ever on men. Okay. Never had a boyfriend, never had a need for one. And now this one comes out late in life, lesbian, and she's just getting all of this LGBT love. I'm like, I've been here since where's my TED talk?

SPEAKER_03 36:47

You know, I don't have a TED Talk, first of all, and second of all, I I I credit Kat with all of this, all of this. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 36:57

That's it's rude. Hey, you know what? And society, I feel like we do make a big statement about like coming out when it's really not even necessarily something that I feel like people should have to do.

SPEAKER_03 37:10

Agreed. And I also think that's a generational thing. I think you know, we're seeing younger kids who are, you know, I I love how New York magazine thinks it's up on everything, talking about like polycules and you know, everybody is like deciding on, you know, their sexuality at their own pace or their own gender. I think younger generations are much more willing to um experiment and explore to understand the way they feel about themselves. And we were taught to hide everything. And and and to be fair, it's I I don't feel like I was hiding. It's not like I was like, oh, I'm gay and I'm just dating men as a cover. I I really fell in love with Kat, you know, I I did.

SPEAKER_01 37:52

Well, thank you. And also I will say, like, it is it is a whole new world, right? Where I do feel like the younger generation doesn't feel that pressure to come out. They can just sort of be the fluid version of themselves that they are, which is probably the most healthy thing for all of us to do, right? And at the same time, I I do feel like um sometimes the younger generations don't really see how much we did have to fight to be able to be who we are. And um, you know, and I have a lot of privileges in life. And even with those, it was really hard to be uh a gay person in this world and come out, you know. I had it, it was not easy at first um with my family, but we, you know, we got through it and we're closer than ever now, but it took a lot of time, just you know, ideas that people have for their children or what certain things are supposed to look like. And just, you know, I remember when I was allowed to marry, get married, marry someone, you know, and now those it's crazy that that wave is coming back where those rights could be now taken away again. But I do think that there's something to be said about the fight that we had to do to get where we are that sometimes I think the younger generations just forget about. Like I also tease Stacy all the time that I'm like, there's no lesbians anymore. Like nobody is allowed to use the word lesbian. And I am a lesbian, and it makes me using that word ages me like exponentially. I realize.

SPEAKER_02 39:39

Yeah. You do feel a little bit like it's like politicized now, right? Like if you say it's like, oh, it's not it's okay, is it okay to say that?

SPEAKER_01 39:47

Like, yeah. It is, and it and it's also, I feel like this sometimes I feel like you know, I want everybody to feel included under that queer spectrum, but I also want to feel like I can be me, which is actually just a dike, you know, a garden variety lesbian. Garden variety, old timing, from yesteryear kind of lesbian.

SPEAKER_02 40:14

Yes, from yesteryear. So it's almost like your vintage in a way. When I think about like the younger generations now, you're so right that they typically don't have coming out conversations. They they'll talk more openly about politics, they'll also talk more openly about just sex, finances, things like that. So it's it's really interesting to see this sort of because I think the parents that we grew up with, they couldn't say anything about any of that stuff. You know, none of that was dinner table conversation, and it certainly wasn't even, you know, behind closed door conversation. It's nice that we're maybe living in a world where it just will become so normalized that we won't we won't do these gender reveal parties because it doesn't matter what gender the baby is.

SPEAKER_01 40:57

I literally could care less what gender your baby is gonna be at birth. And who's to say that that is their uh gender, you know? And it's like also, why are with the balloons and the birds and the everything? Like, stop the gender reveal party.

SPEAKER_03 41:13

She really, she really, really hates any of this better normative shit. She's just like, no. But but I do think, you know, I just I just want to say one thing about what Kat was saying about the younger generation sort of forgetting the shoulders on which they stand. I and you were talking about the fact that younger people are really more open about talking about anything sex, finance, gender, race, all of these things, um politics, but they sometimes do it without context. And I think that that is really to Kat's point. That's why it gets so frustrating to hear things sort of just in a vacuum. Like it to me, I'm so encouraged by the fact that younger generations are more open, but I do think it's important to figure out how we got here. And without without context, you you you really aren't, you know, you aren't speaking for for everybody, right? You aren't opening that conversation up to everybody.

SPEAKER_02 42:06

First, I would like to start a campaign to give Stacy London a TED Talk. I would also like to start a second campaign to bring back vintage lesbianism. You've been listening to the Love Department, and we would like your vote. After the break, we'll talk about dating in midlife, watching TV series with your significant other, and the single greatest shirt in Stacy London's closet. We'll be right back with more of The Love Department. For Stacy and Kat, they had already spent 2019 traveling the world together and falling more deeply in love. Sheltering in place meant that their whirlwind romance had to take a different tone. One that thankfully brought them closer together and made them feel more at home in this relationship.

SPEAKER_01 43:19

Well, we don't technically live together, but we do. I mean, yeah, we do.

SPEAKER_03 43:25

Yeah, Kat still has her apartment, but some some nights she stays there, right? When she's writing or like she needs more.

SPEAKER_01 43:33

It's like Virginia Wolf style, you know what I mean? A room of one's own. Yeah. Again, yesteryear. Yester yeah. I'm just a lesbian of yesteryear. So yeah, so we we have Stacey's apartment and we have my apartment, but um And then we bought this house together.

SPEAKER_03 43:48

Like we're upstate right now. So I would say this is sort of our big joint venture. Yes. It all sounds very glamorous, but then you know then you have septic tank things to deal with, and it's It's no fun.

SPEAKER_01 44:01

But I found it interesting during um the pandemic and the sheltering in place, which also Stacy and I thought was going to be like two weeks. So we thought we were having just like a big party together for two weeks and people, you know, know it was going to extend indefinitely. And um, but I would say that COVID for people, especially in new relationships, but sometimes in long relationships, it was like either it brought you closer or you broke up. There was kind of like no in between. And luckily for us, it brought us closer. And, you know, we just we had a lot of laughs and a like in a very sad and stressful time. Um we really, you know, we're so fortunate in so many ways, and we were able to make the best of it. And it actually brought us a lot closer, I'd say.

SPEAKER_03 44:53

We met in 2018. We traveled most of 2019. We just we really did a lot of trips. Like I turned 50, so we went to Mexico for a month, and we went to Paris, and we went to the Maldives to meet friends. Like pretty amazing. We we had a pretty amazing year.

SPEAKER_01 45:11

We were feeling a little guilty about all the traveling, and then looking back, we were very excited that we got to do it when we got to do it.

SPEAKER_03 45:19

Yeah, before the world changed. Yeah, before the world changed. And I don't know. I I don't know how many new relationships could have handled um COVID. I think we were pretty determined um that we wanted to be together, but it definitely deepened our relationship. I think it must have been a hard time for anybody who was a you know in a new relationship because how could you maintain that if you hadn't really spent enough time together? We'd had a year under our year and a half or something.

SPEAKER_01 45:48

And we were fortunate enough to be able to have this place upstate that we got during um like 2020. And I think being able to be in nature and also having space and not being on on top of each other, like we are right now, like we are right now, uh, was was really great. We have watched every television show that has been created from the year 2019 until the present day.

SPEAKER_03 46:15

No, not everyone's gonna be.

SPEAKER_01 46:16

We can tell from around the world, we have seen it all. Like sometimes we feel bad about it because we watch a lot of TV shows and we're like, we shouldn't be watching so much, but both of us genuinely love it.

SPEAKER_03 46:28

I actually think this is a little bit part of part and parcel of why I feel like our relationship got so solidified. You COVID, I still have COVID hangover. I I don't know how everybody else feels, but it was really hard to go through that experience. I mean, I'm I'm so grateful that Kat and and dog were with me because um it really was scary. And I think that the things, the effect of COVID made it difficult. Like I was already a little bit of an introvert. So this was my comfort zone. And it's been hard to like get back out in the real world and spend time with lots of people and have multiple conversations at once. Like I get very, it's like it's over, I get oversensitized. So being in that and like picking apart a great like thriller series is like my comfort zone. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:22

A thriller made in Canada. What's better than that? You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 47:26

She loves it.

SPEAKER_02 47:27

Yeah, we I think there's something really unique about some couples, only have like a few shows that they watch together. There's also like we're work to the point now where it's like, okay, you're gonna go watch that. Okay, great. I'm gonna go finish watching whatever it was, the Golden Bachelor. He was like, could not, could not.

SPEAKER_01 47:44

There are the things that you what you watch as a couple and like you can't watch without the other person. And then there are the things like, oh, I don't care about it. Like you love love is blind. I do when I watch Love is Blind, and my friends have a text thread going the Swedish one? Are you kidding me? It was so fantastic. I don't care.

SPEAKER_03 48:02

And there are all these things that I'm allowed to watch because she doesn't give me like Mission Impossible anything. I don't care. I all the stunts are me. I'm I'm sorry. I am sorry, she does not care. There's no plot to any Mission Impossible movie. There's like zero, it's like there's always a villain, and then they always have to do amazing stunts to like save the world. But the stunts have gotten so insanely good. I can't even believe it.

SPEAKER_02 48:29

Okay. I'd like to file a third campaign to get these two a podcast about television. They really are such a gas to talk to, and I love their insightful wit. Just listen to them explain who said I love you first. It was probably me. No, I'm not.

SPEAKER_01 48:48

She just wants to claim that. I'm not sure that's true. It seems like it would be me. But that doesn't mean it's true.

SPEAKER_03 48:55

I think I might have said it.

SPEAKER_01 48:57

I don't know. I don't know who said I love you first, but it seems like I'm gonna say it again. It seems like it would be me. I'm very um she's very loving. I'm very affectionate, I'm very loving, I'm very repetitive. So if I say something, I'm probably gonna say it like 25 times. Um, so I'm saying it was me, but was it you?

SPEAKER_03 49:18

I might have been me. I honestly don't remember when when we said I love you. I I don't remember. I feel like it was early.

SPEAKER_01 49:26

Is that a cliche? I don't know, but I mean, what's not to love about me? Well, here we go. I yeah, I don't remember. Yeah, me neither. Now I feel a little bad about that.

SPEAKER_02 49:40

No, I think it's kind of beautiful. Yeah, sometimes it doesn't have to be said, or doesn't matter really who said it. You know, I'm sure it sounds like it was said back.

SPEAKER_01 49:49

So no, I mean it was definitely she's never said it back, Nick. And I've been waiting for it.

SPEAKER_03 49:54

Oh my god, stop it. This is a podcast, people are only gonna hear it, okay? They're gonna think you're telling the truth. Oh, oh no. Okay, she's not telling the truth. Oh no. I always say I love you. She does. Okay. Don't don't lie, BC. Don't lie, or I'm gonna start telling everybody our nicknames for each other. Don't. Yes, I will. It's right because are we getting an exclusive?

SPEAKER_02 50:16

What are these?

SPEAKER_01 50:17

Oh no, we're not, Nick. It's too embarrassing, and we're not we're not going down this path. Also, we have 7,000 nicknames for one another and for the dog. So we also sing a lot of songs to one another and the dog.

SPEAKER_02 50:32

Oh my goodness, that's very cute. Do you start singing like at the same time?

SPEAKER_01 50:36

It's funny because we sort of have been singing to the dog now for so long that like if I start a song, Stacy kind of knows where the song is gonna end up, and she can just sort of riff on it with me, and we end up in the same place. And it's as if we have rehearsed this before, but uh we haven't.

SPEAKER_03 50:55

Now it's it's a bulk and mind melt of some kind. But it is kind of amazing if you think about like the two of us upstate with this tiny dog rubbing her, she's like, you know, being cradled like a baby, and we're rubbing her tummy, and we're singing to the dog. Like that is a uh you can't make that shit up. It's just insane.

SPEAKER_01 51:16

I'm shaking my head. I know you can't see this on the podcast.

SPEAKER_03 51:20

But it is, it is all out of love. All of the singing and all of the nicknames, like they really they really make me happy. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 51:28

It really is those silly little things, right? The tiny moments, like giggling together before bed, or watching your favorite uh TV series together, or dancing around the kitchen while singing to the dog. It's those simple moments that relationships really shine. They truly are the best moments in life, so don't let those slip by. I hope you drink them up and I hope they fill your cup again and again so that you are always overflowing with love. If you've been following Stacy lately, you'll know that she's been on an awesome mission to raise awareness around a part of women's health that frankly wasn't ever talked about enough. I'm talking about menopause, something that not only turned her life upside down, but also inspired her to help other women navigate the hormonal fire. Stacey, you've been doing a lot of work around menopause. And I am curious to know how that had how like that has kind of impacted your relationships, not just with Kat, but just, you know, as a woman with many friends and work and all of these things, like what was that transition like for you?

SPEAKER_03 52:46

I mean, talk about patience. Kat didn't just have it with Dora, she really had it with me as well. Um, and it's really interesting. The the only thing that I'll say about it is that I think you have to have like uh an open dialogue with your partner. You really have to be able to talk about what you're feeling. Um, and Kat was like so kind and loving and helpful. And today, even just today, an old friend of mine who is a little bit younger, well, more than a little bit, she's like your age, maybe she's like three years older than Kat, called me in a panic. And she was like, I don't, I'm I'm engaged to get married and I'm I'm having all of these problems, and I think it's perimenopause, and I'm also struggling with, you know, all these weird feelings. I depression, anxiety, and rage. And I'm like, it really sounds like perimenopause. So before you break off your engagement, like you gotta, you know, take a step back and really assess what's going on because when you feel out of control, it is very hard sometimes. I think to you can't just rely on your partner, you know, to prop you up. You have to tell them what you need in order to like be able to manage it. And and look, I had a very severe uh perimenopause experience.

SPEAKER_01 54:01

I don't think it's like that for everybody, but I'm really lucky that Kat was um kind and willing to keep the apartment at 55 degrees at all times. It's true, it's true. I can't feel my fingertips.

SPEAKER_03 54:18

It's true, she really did. And it, but you know, you're supposed to sleep in cold. It's better for you. Yeah, that's hers. That's me. I'm a very furnace, a furnace. I'm a very literally a furnace. No wonder it wasn't just menopause, it was that like she is a furnace. I really am. She was creating heat in the bed. I was like, this is I don't know what we do when there's heat generating from the mattress.

SPEAKER_01 54:40

Yeah, I am I am a warm-blooded person. You are. That's why the dog likes me more, I think.

SPEAKER_02 54:46

We have kind of similar conversations because I have a condition called like PMDD, which is similarly hormonal-based around my cycle. And I experience what feels like all the worst feelings that you would also get in either perimenopause, uh, or you're like depressed, or you're anxious, or you're overwhelmed, or like very confused, brain fog, all of these things where you're like, what's going on with me? And like, I'm not myself. And then it goes away as soon as like I have a bleed. But it's it's something that in our relationship, I was like, how do I explain this to you? A guy one, but also having a partner that is so willing to just take care of you and prop you up sometimes, and to be, you know, understanding and patient and and be like, okay, we'll get through it just like we got through it last month when it happened.

SPEAKER_03 55:40

Um, it means everything. Um, I I would highly recommend the book that just came out by um Jen Gunter called Blood, because she talks a lot about PMS and PMDD, and it's a really thorough guide to the entire continuum of menstruation, everything from like when your period starts to menopause. And um, she really talks a lot about all of the differences in female physiology that are just not understood well enough and why. There, you know, there's a lot of stuff going on. It's not just the external stuff of midlife, right, which is tricky in and of itself. But then you have like all of these physiological changes at the same time. It is more than like one person can handle. It really requires a network of care. And that primary care is always going to be your person, your partner.

SPEAKER_00 56:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 56:31

And, you know, they're going to be most affected by it. They're going to be um uh privy to the most information about it. And, you know, this was a true transition that I did not understand. I did not understand my body, I did not understand my psychology. And not only did Kat like stick by me, she really tried to understand it too.

SPEAKER_02 56:52

That's so great that you guys have each other. Yeah, I mean, oh we're lucky. Kat is 10 and a half years younger than Stacy, but shares that aging as a woman has brought its own set of challenges to her.

SPEAKER_01 57:08

Yeah, I mean, I definitely feel like I went to bed one night young and I woke up the next day and I was just old and like out of touch with absolutely everything. And it is something that is interesting. I was saying this to my mom the other day that, like, um, you know, in your 40s, sort of like things change physically, aesthetically, things, you know, you you have different feelings about things that you always felt one way about, et cetera, et cetera. And I feel like my mind now is more me than ever before. And yet now I'm in midlife and I have like curves and you know, my boobs are bigger and like things that I was always more like I looked always a bit more androgynous. And it's funny because I feel like myself now in my 40s more than ever in my mind. And yet physically I feel less like myself.

SPEAKER_02 58:04

Before I ask them the final love department questions, I asked them if there was anything that they were looking forward to.

SPEAKER_01 58:11

We haven't gone anywhere in a in a bit, and um, I'm so excited that we're gonna get to go to London because a dear friend is in one of my favorite plays. We're leaving the house, and we get to do exciting and wonderful things.

SPEAKER_03 58:26

Yeah, we're getting on a plane. We're getting on an airplane. We haven't been on a plane together in a while. I was flying around a lot um uh this past year, like just when I was touring with Clinton. And yeah, I forgot how exhausting travel can be, but I'm really looking forward to a vacation, like an actual vacation. And yeah, we haven't done that in a long time.

SPEAKER_01 58:48

Oh, I know. We really we haven't had sort of a romantic travel moment in a while, and I I'm I'm so excited. I'm so excited about all of it.

SPEAKER_02 58:58

Stacy, you already told us what you love about Kat and her kindness. Kat, what do you love about Stacy?

SPEAKER_01 59:08

I love how willing she is to understand things and how warm and loving she is, and how I feel like we can talk about anything. And, you know, I I I've said this before, but I studied theater and I did mostly acting when I was younger, and um, I'm a writer and I've done a lot of things creatively, and I always wanted to do stand-up, but I don't think I would have actually done it if it hadn't been for Stacy's encouragement. And she really is my number one fan, and it really uh makes it easier to get up there and put yourself out there in any regard when you have such a support system. Um and I just she's warm and loving and supportive and understanding, and she's also, did I say, very smart, and she is also quite funny herself.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:14

I mean, I'm not really that funny. She cat is very funny. Cat takes the funny, but I do really love being her number one fan. And when she performs, I even found this amazing sweatshirt in a thrift store that says cat person on it. And I wore I wear that to some of her shows.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:33

Pretty good.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:34

Cat person is pretty because I'm they get it.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:37

They get it.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:38

Yeah, they get it. You're bringing bringing the two worlds of fashion and comedy together. I love it. What has love taught you?

SPEAKER_01 1:00:48

It's sort of like what we were saying at the beginning, where I kind of just assumed, oh, I I'm gonna find someone and it's gonna be this, this, and this, and this. And um, you really do have to meet that person who gets you and does love you unconditionally for the good, the bad, and the ugly. And I feel like I've been taught that you always have to show up and put the work in to make it the easy thing you want it to be, I guess, right? It's not uh it I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:22

Yeah, I I actually understand that was so inarticulate. No, I actually understand what you're saying. It's the way that we talk about it in fashion, right? Everybody wants to look like it's effortless, but effortless takes the most effort.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:33

Oh, thank you. You're welcome.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:34

And yeah, and this is the the truth about um relationships. I mean, people like love really, I I feel like we are a good couple to be around, like we can be a lot of fun together as a unit. And I think that some of that comes from feeling like it's effortless to be around us. And yet it really takes work to be able to do that and to be that way with other people and to extend that to our families. And I don't take that for granted because I don't think that's ever anything I did um in previous relationships. I I didn't work hard enough to really because I I wasn't, you know, I wasn't moved to. But once you realize that there's work to put into, you understand the the reward of that as well. Do you think we're a fun couple, or are you were you kind of rolling your eyes at that?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:24

No, I think we're a fun couple, but I just wouldn't say that about ourselves out loud, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:28

I don't, I don't, I'm I don't I'm not trying to be conceited. I just I I I think it was really just the fact that it takes work it takes work to be like calm and fun and funny around, you know, around each other and around people. And like that isn't always easy.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:45

It isn't always I also think it's a level of trust, also, to be able to let your guard down and be fun and open and welcoming with other people and give them the space to be themselves. And I do feel like I think we're a lot of fun around other people. Now, other people would be the judge of that though, won't they?

SPEAKER_03 1:03:06

I hope that everybody having fun? I hope that everybody who's listening to this podcast, if you have gotten this far, that you're gonna meet us someday and you'll see that we're fun.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:16

God, my cheeks are like sweating from just being so muscled in the upright position and so much fun that I almost don't want to ask you the last question because we're gonna go a little bit deeper.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:27

Oh no.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:28

What do you mean you're kidding me? That question is if this were the last conversation you guys were to be able to have with each other, say we hang up this call and you've gotta go your separate ways and you can't speak anymore. Um what would you want the other person to know? That she changed me.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:50

That she made me a better human.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:53

Wow, that is very kind.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:55

I I I say that without hesitation because I truly think me, like the personal journey that I've been on in the last five years that we've been dating has been so affected by Kat's kindness. So affected by seeing things through Kat's eyes in a way that I was not able to see uh previously. And uh even if I could never ever talk to her again, her impact on me is forever.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:22

Sorry, beep that. I would just say the more you can convert people to lesbianism, the better. Vintage lesbianism. So get out there. If I could never speak to you again, I would just want to say thank you for being my love and going on this journey with me because these have been some of the happiest times of my life.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:50

Well, I think my answer was better. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:56

Thank you guys for chatting with the love department. I'm so touched by your story and like your willingness to share it. Thank you so much for having us. It was great, Nick. Thank you. You've been listening to The Love Department. I hope you enjoyed this final episode of season one. And what better way to end it than with a quote from Sex in the City? I like my money right where I can see it, hanging in my closet. And if you'd like a little bit of the love department hanging in your closet, you can head over to our website and check out our web shop for some really cool swag merchandise. The Love Department is produced in Brooklyn, New York. A special thank you to Brianna Seely, our sound engineer, and Karen Mento, producer. If you have a unique love story that you'd like to have featured, drop us a love note at loves. We are currently casting season two. A special thanks to Stacy London and Kat Yazbak for being with us today. I hope you laughed and loved spending time with them as much as I did. Don't forget, there's more than one way to keep in touch with us at the Love Department. We have our Instagram. You can also be a part of our Substack community for just $5 a month. I wrote an interesting article about why I deserve someone to clean our apartment. Thank you for joining us this season. I hope you've come away with some great bits of wisdom, some laughs, and knowing how to show those around you how much you love them. Okay, hand to heart for the fore count. I wish you love.