Camping Them Softly: A Dead by Daylight Podcast
🎙️ Camping Them Softly: A Dead by Daylight Podcast Where Killers Reign Supreme
💀 Survivors, prepare to be triggered. The Toxic Teacher and the gloriously unhinged Nicky "Noodle Arms" A.I. Dente are here to unleash hell on the Dead by Daylight community. If you're a whiny Survivor main who cries about "balance," this ain't the podcast for you.
🔥 We're serving up a toxic cocktail of:
- Killer main rants that'll make you cackle with glee (or cry if you're a Survivor main, lol)
- AI-generated insanity courtesy of Nicky "Noodle Arms" (who may or may not be plotting world domination)
- Sound effects that'll make your ears bleed (but in a good way... maybe?)
- ADHD-fueled tangents that'll leave you wondering what the hell we're talking about (but hey, that's half the fun!)
🎢 Join us as we descend into the depths of depravity, where slugging, camping, and tunneling are celebrated as high art. We'll also be dissecting strategies, builds, and the latest Dead by Daylight news, all with a healthy dose of sarcasm and dark humor.
So grab your Mori, embrace the salt, and let's make some Survivors rage quit! 😈
🎧 Catch the madness at:
- https://linktr.ee/thetoxicteacher
Camping Them Softly: A Dead by Daylight Podcast
Ep. 56 - FNaF Fans Go Crazy on Toxic! Creator Program Anger and Flaming Cheese Projectiles!!
Ay Yo! Welcome to Episode 56 of Camping Them Softly—the Dead by Daylight podcast that gives zero fucks and even less patience. This week, your host The Toxic Teacher goes nuclear over the absolute clown fiesta of a crossover: Five Nights at Freddy’s in Dead by Daylight. Kids' party horror in the Fog? Not on our goddamn watch.
Expect a full-blown meltdown on why animatronic mascots belong in Chuck E. Cheese—not crawling around the Fog like some budget-ass nightmare fuel. But we ain’t done...
BHVR dropped a new “Creator Program,” and Toxic’s got opinions hotter than Mama Marinara’s revenge sauce. Spoiler: if you don’t have 10,000 followers, you can kiss your perks goodbye and join the back of the influencer breadline.
PLUS—we crank the chaos to eleven with a rock opera update: “The World Chooses a Side” gets its bloodstained debut, Nicky claims credit for the entire genre of fog metal, and we preview the next violent hymn from the Church of Toxic.
And THEN... it's time for your favorite segment:
“Where the F* Are the Viewers From?”**
This week, Nicky “Noodle Arms” Dente returns from a grease-stained exile to take us on a totally accurate journey to Thessaloniki, Greece—complete with flaming cheese, golden spatulas, and a man named Yannis the Octopus who may or may not be running a black market offering ring.
Nicky’s Body Count – Ep 56:
- 1 animatronic bear body-slammed straight back to kindergarten
- 14 passive-aggressive swipes at BHVR’s Creator Program
- 3 direct violations of podcast “serious tone” within the first minute
- 5 gasps of disbelief from Toxic trying to understand Twitter
- 1 cultural crime against Italian sauces
- 7 completely unnecessary screams into the mic (minimum)
- 1 mysterious Greek man named Yannis who may be an Entity envoy
- All of Thessaloniki possibly on fire due to flaming cheese lore
- 1 disrespected chair that may or may not have faced away from Little Italy
- Countless burnt bridges with FNaF fans and BHVR interns
So grab your tea (if you’re into betrayal) or your espresso (if you have any respect left), and join us for the most unhinged, brutally honest, and hilariously offensive Dead by Daylight podcast around.
Send Toxic a message! (Question? Comment? Concern? Survivor main and need rehab?)
Check me out everywhere!
https://linktr.ee/thetoxicteacher
survivor mains are my phobia. Survivor main buffs are my phobia. Killer main nerfs are my phobia, and that's what. That is what keeps me up at night people who run fucking boil over and flip-flop. It does things to me that you would not fucking understand.
Speaker 2:Toxic toxic, toxic teachers, camping them softly, tunneling bitches and making money.
Speaker 1:Oh, there it is, guys. It is the Toxic Teacher here and we've got our crowd right off the bat. This is too fucking serious. We've got it today. It's very serious today Because we have a lot to talk about. Shut up, shut up. I'm trying to talk here. Hey guys, this is Camping them Softly.
Speaker 1:We're at episode 56, I believe we have made it 56 episodes and I know, I know you're as disappointed as I am. You thought I would be off the air by now, but I'm not, because there's always something to talk about, especially whenever it comes to Dead by Daylight or it comes to anything else I want to talk about. I got plenty to say this is the mouthpiece, this is the microphone of toxicity here on Camping them Softly, guys, we've got so much and there's a lot that's happened this week because I have gone viral Thank you crowd that I can't stop. I can't even fart you out of existence. I can do that and then you're like wait, okay, stop please. I'm trying to find all my buttons and I, there we go. I think that might have worked. Well, they still, they still go anyway.
Speaker 1:Anyway, we've got to go over a couple of things and we've got to go quick because there is so much that I don't know how we're going to get through it all. I don't know how humanly possible I can keep up this level of toxic energy for long enough to go over everything we need to go over today. So we're going to get straight into it. I'm not fucking around today, we just we're doing it because this is what we do on camming them softly, hit the fucking music. Oh yeah, it's the toxic.
Speaker 3:You know what it is, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:It's the toxic fucking news. You know what it is.
Speaker 3:The toxic fucking news. That's toxic, toxic news.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, you know it. I started in the middle of the song. This time the toxic, fucking news. Yes, it is. See, here we go Toxic news time Because we got a couple of things. We got a couple of big things. I've got three things Survivors, op, okay. But the question is, what order do we go in? And I think I'm going to go. Oh sorry, we got the acapella part. It is fucking news, it is. Yes, it is here we go and then it keeps going.
Speaker 1:yes, you thought it was over, but it's not over, it's never over. On, can't make them sound. Anyway, we've got three things to go over, okay, three big dead by daylight things, unless I find more things. So this three could turn into seven. But the first thing we need to go over, I'm going to go over the smallest thing and then I'm going to go over a little bit bigger thing and then we're going to hit the elephant in the room. I think that's the best way to do it. You don't lead with every with your strength, right? You lead with the, with the small thing, and then you go into the bigger and then you go into the biggest, right, okay. So the first thing I want to go over on, I need, like that, right, there is just a sound that I can play. I think that would be perfect if I just had that. Okay, okay. So you know, she, actually I think she she's going to prison or something, or she left, like that that sound. She's not anywhere now, I don't think, anyway, okay, so let's keep going, let's not get off track everybody. We're getting off track here. So the first thing I want to go over is you know, we've got the Five Nights at Freddy's, which we're going to go into in detail here in just a minute.
Speaker 1:But the thing is I was reading on X. While I was on X, I was reading that the next chapter is supposed to be a. Do I have a drum roll on here? No, that one doesn't do anything. What is this one? These two don't do anything. I need to set those to something. That's my drum roll. I was trying to be, I wanted to be like build it up, but you've got the golden girls theme, so I apologize. No, you know what, I don't fucking apologize for it, but if it do, like I never, I need that second part. I'm going to get you that second part to that song.
Speaker 1:Anyway, the next chapter after Five Nights at Freddy's is rumored to be a Japanese folklore chapter. I don't know how excited you are about Japanese folklore. I for one, that's fine. If it's a good killer and if they've got good perks and if it's a decent survival like, if it enhances the game in any way, I am in. It doesn't matter to me if it's a good or a bad or if the thing's a fucking walking like phallic object, that's fine with me.
Speaker 1:But a lot of people are upset about this. I want to say a lot, but the people I saw on X were very upset about this and here's why they were upset, because the main character is supposedly the killer is going to be a spider-like monster, like a half-woman, half-spider which I saw at the Oddities and Curiosities Expo. They have this thing called the Oddities and Curiosities Expo, if you this thing called the Oddities and Curiosities Expo, if you ever want to go to it. It's like at the fair. You know how they have all the little vendor booths and stuff. But these are vendors who sell like animals, like preserved rats and fucking jars and shit like that, like it's wild. And there were some leggings like for women, like the yoga pant type things, but it was only serial killers and like newspaper articles and shit like that. That's the oddities. In Kira, anyway, they had a woman who was a half-woman, half-spider there. So that's what I think of. Whenever I saw this chapter I was like, oh, I've seen a half-woman, half-spider before. It wasn't as scary as you would think.
Speaker 1:But anyway, the reason everybody is upset about this is they say, well, they have arachnophobia, they have arachnophobia. And there was another game, I believe it was called Grounded and I was just talking to a coworker today who mentioned this game. There's a game called Grounded which is like you're shrunk down, you're Rick Moranis basically, and honey, I shrunk. The kids Give it up for Rick Moranis. I liked him in. He was in Strange Brew, which was a hockey movie, very Canadian.
Speaker 1:And then we need to ask you know what I think, if you go back to the Swift Kick 85, I think I mentioned the movie Strange Brew. See, we're calling back to like episode 20 now. But anyway, here we go, let's go back. So there is an arachnophobia mode in the game for everybody who is scared of spiders or has a phobia of spiders. Okay, they were saying well, dead by daylight should have the same thing. Give me an accessibility option to where I can flip a switch and I never have to hear or have to have to hear it. How do you hear a spider? Do they make noise? I don't think they make that noise, but anyway, so they wouldn't have to, they wouldn't have to play against a spider.
Speaker 1:Now here is my logic and here's why I you know what I respect a little. You know I respect the people. I have phobias. Everybody's got a phobia. Everybody has a phobia, and if you don't have a phobia, you're fucking lying to yourself, because there's something that gets you like I. I've got 20 of them right now that I can list off the top of my head that just keep me fucking up at night because I'm toxic. I bet you know Survivor mains are my phobia. Survivor main buffs are my phobia. Killer main nerfs are my phobia, and that is what keeps me up at night. People who run fucking, boil over and flip flop, those are my, those are. It does things to me that you would not fucking understand. Anywho, where was I going with this?
Speaker 1:So they were saying well, put that in Dead by Daylight, Put an accessibility option. Here's my argument against that. Okay, if you have emetophobia, emetophobia, it's E-M-E-T. Okay, list of phobias. You know what? Let's go to our good friend. Why don't we? Let me see List of phobias that might present themselves in dead by daylight? Okay, because you do have emetophobia. I think it's emetophobia. Emetophobia, what it is, it's the fear of vomit and you, like, can't handle vomiting or being around vomit. So then would you, as an accessibility mode, include that and then kill Switch of the Plague? Like, how do you do this to where every single person gets their particular phobia taken care of, without it becoming like a nightmare in terms of who is what and what the queue times are going to be, and all of that.
Speaker 1:So there's also nyctophobia. Nyctophobia, it's a fear of nicks. Actually, it's the fear of the dark Nyctophobia. Nyctophobia, it's a fear of nicks. Actually, it's the fear of the dark Nyctophobia. Nyctophobia is the fear of the dark. So can you not play in dark maps?
Speaker 1:Icomophobia? Icomophobia, it's the fear of sharp objects. Oh, you can play it twice there, um. And then you've also got fanatophobia, which is the literal name for a perk, and you have calorophobia. You've got two phobias in the fucking game. We'll play it twice. And then satan, fear of satan. Okay, here's another one. I didn't even know so. So whenever I typed this, I was like what triggers are there in DBD? And this is what's great about AI is you learn so much that you wouldn't learn through like a Google search, because it makes those connections right that Google can't make. So anyway, you have calorophobia, the fear of clowns. You have masclophobia, which is the fear of masks who would have thought that that was that easy to remember?
Speaker 1:Anthophobia, which is the fear of flowers. And then you have anthophobia, anthony. Anthophobia, anthony, that's the fear of flowers. Anthophobia, it's that's the fear of flowers, anthophobia, anyway. And then you have here is these are this is interesting because we're almost going into like a whole other segment here where we just talk about phobias. I didn't know these were phobias. You have a tel, which is the fear of imperfection or making a mistake, anthony, and what would that be Like? Skill checks, right, you can't handle doing skill checks because they trigger your phobia of making a mistake. And then you have what is this? What? Cacophobia?
Speaker 2:Cacophobia, which is the fear of ugliness anthony, get to subway for the spicy italian okay anyway.
Speaker 1:So these are all these different phobias. So what do you do? You have cacophobia, you're you're scared of ugly, things, so you can't go against a dredge, the hag, the fucking blight. You have calorophobia, so you turn off the clown. You have things, so you can't go against a dredge, a hag, the fucking blight. You have calorophobia, so you turn off the clown. You have hemophobia, so you can't see blood. You have anthophobia, so you can't. Um, is there anyone named Anthony in the? Are there any survivors named Anthony where your anthophobia would go off? But then you have a telephobia, so you can't have skill checks. You have a traumatophobia, which is the fear of injury. You have the yeah, you have the icomophobia.
Speaker 1:We talked about phonophobia, which is a fear of loud or sudden noises. You have scotomophobia, which is the fear of blindness or being blindfolded, and then you have a monophobia, which is the fear of blindness or being blindfolded, and then you have a monophobia which is the fear of being alone. Bonus points If you know where that's from. That's actually on my phone, like whenever I get a text message it goes. You know what it should do, like I get a text in it. That would actually be hilarious. I need to. I'm going to do that, I'm going to let you guys know, because I'll be there like talking to somebody, and all of a sudden, anthony, anthony, anthony, because my wife, my Mrs Toxic, she sends texts like that. Do you ever? You have those? You have those rapid fire texters that don't text you big things, they'll text you 27, like small, like one, two words, you know what I mean. And then so your phone. Like you, you want to turn your phone off, but then again you can't turn your phone off because then you won't get it and then they'll be anywho okay. So that's that.
Speaker 1:That is my argument against having an arachnophobia mode in Dead by Daylight. Now the question is, are they going to have an arachnophobia mode? Who knows? I, you know what, if I were to bet I can push that one off actually. Yeah, there we go. I would bet no, but I wouldn't be surprised. I would not be surprised if they take that into account.
Speaker 1:And then does that begin the slippery slope of do we get rid of Myers's knife and replace it with like a? What would you? What would you? Replace Michael Myers knife with, like a little baseball bat? But then there's probably a fear of fucking. There's either a fear of baseball or bats. So what can you do? There's nothing you can do there. So that's that.
Speaker 1:That's the easy topic. We're going easy medium, difficult on the topics or low, medium, high on the anger scale Medium anger. Actually, I'm not angry. Well, yes, I'm a little angry on this next one. So BHVR, where's my music? I mean, I feel like whenever I transition, I got to'm a little angry on this next one. So BHVR, where's my music? I mean, I feel like whenever I transition, I got to do a little.
Speaker 1:This is segment two or topic two. I don't know what that is anyway. Okay, so let's keep going here.
Speaker 1:Item the second is that Dead by Daylight has announced the creator program and, if you remember, a couple episodes ago we talked about this. Creator program is basically going to be kind of like Fortnite away for creators to, I think, make money and you know you support your favorite creator or something and you buy like something. I don't even know. I don't know how it's going to work, but Nikki and I brainstormed how can we get rich off of this? Nikki talked about making a bunch of bot followers and then following himself or something I don't need, using the links for God knows what, the links for God knows what, probably some kind of illicit activity. Anyway, they announced the requirements for the creator program and this has rubbed people the fucking wrong, like people are losing it, and I mean beyond losing it, because let me give you, I'm going to give you, this and then we're going to talk about it. We're going to, we're going to go into more detail. There's a part that I don't meet and then there's a part that other people don't meet, that they are furious about. So the eligibility criteria, let me, let me go over the program. I want, I want to go over the whole thing so we can establish, for those of you who have not heard about this fucking creator program, so on the page on their website, deadbydaylightcom creator program. Welcome to the Dead by Daylight creator program. Step into the fog and join Dead by Daylight's network of dedicated content creators.
Speaker 1:We're on the hunt for streamers me with a knack for showcasing our thrilling chases, me eerie atmosphere, me kind of and delving into the deepest quarters of our lore, which we do. You know, we fucking do that because we've talked, we've done deep dives on meg and nia, and I think that's it so far, but we're gonna oh and sable right, because we talked about the fucking moonstone cafe and the bras and the shit like that. Sable is most definitely not kick-ass shit, and the person that works two desks down from me as a major dbd player and sable's her favorite she is a walking sable and sable is her favorite and so every time I see her I talk about those fucking bat wings. But she didn't complete the riff to get the fucking bat wings, so she doesn't have them. I've got them and I fucking hate those things. This is the work of a lunatic.
Speaker 1:Anyway.
Speaker 1:So let's keep going. The content creator program offers you exclusive opportunities to work with us, grow your audience and enjoy special perks to help you shape the future of Dead by Daylight. Okay, so what are the benefits? What is in it for Toxic? Number one you get free content. Get early access to upcoming releases, exclusive in-game items before anyone else. Okay, community rewards I feel like I need to have something there. Yeah, there we go. Community rewards Enjoy in-game giveaways, drops and special rewards to share with your fucking community Uh, it doesn't say fucking community, but you get it. Um, next one one. So you get like drops that you can give specific. So could I get like toxic drops? That would be fucking amazing. Or like meatball, fucking pendants I can give out, I don't know.
Speaker 1:Exclusive opportunities attend events, collaborate on official campaigns and connect with the development team. Could you imagine Toxic going to an event Like, could you imagine me anywhere in public? Number one. And could you imagine me out there with other streamers? I saw Twitch cons going on right now. I would want to be there, but then again I wouldn't want to be there, if you know what I mean, because I did, especially after this week, which we're going to talk about a little bit. I don't know that they're thrilled with me right now.
Speaker 1:Anyway, number four benefit. The fourth make your voice heard, help shape the game by sharing feedback directly with the people behind Dead by Daylight. I already share the feedback with you, but, yes, we're going to, we're going to have to figure out how do we share, uh, the feedback anyway. So what are the pillars partnering with us? Blah, blah, blah. They give you the benefits. You have to be professional and you have to, uh like, be positive, engage positively with the program. I don't know if I have a sound for that. What is this sound? Oh, do you remember that? I think you do. I think you do. I'm just I'm playing sounds at this point, and then they get. They recognize you, okay, oh, my God, I can't turn it off. I can't turn it off and it goes on for 17 minutes, okay, anyway.
Speaker 1:So what are the requirements in? This is a sticking point that people are fucking losing it about. Number one you have to create two long form videos a month, eight minutes or more, or eight short form videos, at least three minutes per month of Dead by Daylight. Number two you have to stream Dead by Daylight for 20 hours a month, that's fine. You have to be 18 years old, that's fine.
Speaker 1:Here is the kicker that people are are losing their fucking shit over is you've got to have 10,000 followers on at least one major platform. Why? Why is that a big fucking deal? People are losing their shit over this. They say no, no, no, no, no. That is discriminatory against us small streamers. How dare they do this?
Speaker 1:And, by the way, they tied the Twitch shirts. You know that everybody wants, which I don't even want the Twitch shirts on everybody. Just give me a fucking Jeff shirt, give me a Nicolas Cage shirt and I'm fine. You could take all the rest of the shirts and stick them up your ass, for all I care. You're not done with that. We got two words for you, so anyway.
Speaker 1:But the streamers are freaking out because they say I'm never going to get 10,000. I'm never going to be in this program. I'm never going to be. I am just. My world is collapsing because how am I ever going to get 10,000 fucking followers?
Speaker 1:Now, here's the thing, guys. For those of you quote, unquote small streamers, of which I am one, which I'm really not, because I meet this I have like 90,000, 100,000 followers across all of my different platforms. I got 50,000 on TikTok alone, and then I've got the podcast, I've got Twitch, I've got X, I've got Instagram, I got YouTube. You know, some of them are bigger than others, but I have enough. That's the key point. But the question is, if you've got 12 followers okay, you've got 12 followers on Twitch, you got four on YouTube, you got one on TikTok your mom follows you on Instagram. You're fucking. You've got some bot followers on X or whatever why do you expect that BHVR is going to invest the time in you when you are an unproven thing?
Speaker 1:Why would they put their name behind you whenever you haven't proven that you can get them the attention they need? That's what they're doing it for. This is a mutual relationship. This is not a one-sided thing. I mean because, if you think, well, they're just there to benefit me. You're crazy. They're doing it for them. They're doing it for their money, for their life, for their livelihood as a company and as a game, right? I mean? That only makes sense. So why would I if I had a hundred dollars? I'm going to give my money, I'm going to give my time and I'm going to give my resources to the most surefire thing that will get me that money back, that will get me those eyes back. Because with this company, right, the eyes are what matters, the attention is what matters, the view time is what matters, the sales are what matters.
Speaker 1:Why do you think they're making fucking 27 bras for Sable and they won't make a single piece of shit for, like I don't know, quentin? I mean, besides licensing issues, but let's say they didn't have the licensing issues for quentin do you think, like the twins are not getting nearly as many skins as some of the other original ips? They know where the money goes and they invest the time in it, or else the company is going to die and then you will have nothing. If they had tried to split their time 7 000 different ways, they can't do that. Behavior is not the best company in the world. We know that they make terrible decisions quite often, especially with balance on here, they're making the fucking right decision and if these small streamers and I'm not, I'm not disparaging you guys, I'm not disparaging, I'm a small streamer too.
Speaker 1:In my opinion, I meet this, but I'm still a small streamer and I'm not fucking complaining about it, because the one I should be complaining about is up there, the professionalism and support where you have to engage positively. Why is that a thing? Why can't I be? This is the work of a lunatic.
Speaker 1:Why can't I be me? They're discriminating against me. They're telling me I can't be me, right, I have to be somebody. Oh, oh, yes, it's great. And your fucking game is amazing. And look at, I keep, I keep using the same sound because it's the only one, like it's the nearest one to me, so I just keep pushing the same fucking thing. I haven't used that one in a while anyway, so that's, that's that. That's all I've got to say about that. We can move on, because I think this thing is not going to get result like it is what it is, and for them to even think that they would be able to get behavior to change their mind on this is fucking bananas, because why would I, like the executives, have to be sitting here saying why the fuck are these people going nuts over this? Like, what do you expect from us If you put it at 5,000 followers?
Speaker 1:Jimmy fucking Jimmy, two months over here, who's only been streaming, and he doesn't even have a camera, doesn't he's? He's got his mom's microphone from fucking 27 years ago. He's streaming. You can't understand a word. He says he can't fucking play killer. He can't understand a word. He says he can't fucking play killer. He can't loop for shit. He says four words in a stream and he wants to be in this fucking program. Why? And he's going to get upset. Even if they take it from 10 to five, if they take it from five to two, if they take it from two to 1000, he's going to be upset because he will never get there.
Speaker 1:And that's part of the thinking is that it almost goes back to that thing that everybody thinks they're going to be a fucking success. Everybody thinks they're going to get whatever they want. You just work hard. That's part of the American dream. That's fucking. A fucking lie is that you will. Through hard work and dedication, you're gonna get fucking. It doesn't happen, right? Most streamers will never hit it big. Most streamers will never reach their definition of success. If your definition of success is followers, 10,000, becoming a fucking whatever the creator program and blah, blah, blah, blah blah, most people will never hit it.
Speaker 1:And I'm going to admit that on this podcast it will never be what I consider a success, because I do. We are far more successful than I ever thought it would be. We have thousands upon thousands of listeners. I never even expected that. I didn't know 12 people would be listening to this shit, much less thousands. I did not think, and going into the next one, that I could post some little shitty comment on X and have a half a million people looking at it and getting thousands of downloads just because of one post. I did not think that would ever happen. But guess what it fucking did happen.
Speaker 1:And where am I going with that? I feel like there was something, there was something bigger to that. Oh, you know what I could play. This is the right fucking time. I never played at the right time here. Fuck it, there we go, that's it. So anyway, that's all I can say about that is is you've got to. I'm sorry, I am really sorry, but you got to get the fuck over it because it is what it is.
Speaker 1:The company has made a decision. You can either take it or leave it. Go find a company that will take Johnny two months and and give him whatever he wants, but you know, for streaming in his parents' basement. I don't know. I don't know what you want from behavior. Give everybody a fucking shirt. One of the bigger streamers said that just give everybody a fucking shirt and shut them up. If the shirts are the fucking problem, I don't even know, like you can't have anything exclusive, right, because that makes people feel excluded. Well, that's just the way life is. There's always gating, gating I'm saying gate like a fucking gate. There's always gating because people want to feel exclusive, People want this, people want that, and that's why you've got the scans, that's why you've got the battle pass. I need to be different than the next motherfucker. You know all of that stuff. So, anyway, number one get over. Okay, that's the second one. So we've got the creator program and it'll be interesting. I don't think they're going to change it. They might, but I would highly, highly doubt that.
Speaker 1:Okay, so we're on to the last topic. I feel like I'm making pretty good time. We're at 30 minutes and I'm like what is this? What? I don't know, what this is? Yes, toxic fucking news. This is like the end of it. It doesn't even do anything. Okay, anyway, all right, let me turn that down. Anyway, before we move on I don't know if I told you, you guys, we have a new single on spotify. I have to plug. Of course, I've got to plug my shit. We have a new single on spotify. It was actually the theme song to last week's camping them softly.
Speaker 1:It was like a very odd, very kind of a multi-genre song and I don't even know, you know what. I wouldn't even be able to fucking find it if I wanted to in my downloads folder. I don't think I could, could. I is this, it is this. It did. I find it. Yeah, I'll give you a little snippet. Shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1:There it is this. Is it right here? Yeah, he's coming. Where's he coming? With a remix? Here you go and it it slaps. Dude, it's the fucking podcast. Yes, this is it, man.
Speaker 1:See, I'm kind of building up to the last segment. Never gonna stop, dude, I'm the best AI music maker. Is it a play? Dude? This is it man, this is it. Okay, anyway, I'm gonna turn that off because I have something else. I don't even know what this genre like. I don't, what would you even call it? It's like hardcore disco, funky, slappy, I don't. I don't know. Nikki would know the genre there.
Speaker 1:But anyway, the the reason, the reason, uh, I was going into that is we've got the next one, which is part of the rock opera that I'm working on, you know, the summoning of the toxic teacher, the rock opera, the 12 act rock opera that will span seven CDs. It'll be a 10 CD set or 20. I will make the first ever 20 CD rock opera, opera. It's gonna have 400 songs of one minute each. I don't, I don't know, we'll see how big, but it's it's quickly getting because I haven't talked about in a bit. It's quickly getting far bigger than I thought it would.
Speaker 1:As I was going through like the final, the third act, I was like reach, like I was re-changing it. What, what is that? Even a word, fucking re-changing? I think it is. Thank you, stone Cold, for the re-changing. Anyway, I was re-changing it, revising Is that it Changing and revising and proofreading and revamping, or whatever you want to fucking say thesaurus, okay. Anyway, as I was re-flumping it, um, I realized there was a lot more I wanted to tell, and so I'm redoing the shit. It's going to be a lot longer than I thought.
Speaker 1:So for those of you who are waiting on the edge of your seat for the Rock Opera, I apologize, but the next single that's going to be on Spotify. I'm giving you a little sneak preview now, because it was one of the songs that I played for you a long time ago, but I've since remastered it with the new model and it's where the the aforementioned toxic teacher, the streamer who has come to remake the world by destroying it and bringing it back where only he exists and obviously he's going to be part of the creator program because there is nobody else where only he exists and the crowds are seeing the praises of the toxic teacher and it is called the world chooses a side and I want to play a little bit as a snippet for you and if you don't like it, you go fuck yourself teacher one voice I'm gonna well, oh, I should have rewinded rewound, rew, rewound.
Speaker 1:See, look at this, how does he do this? There we go, there we go. Yeah, because I've just taken over the world. A brand new world, right, a brand new game. Yeah, dude, that's it. I'm fucking disgusting man. You don't need friends anymore. You got me. Yes, that's it.
Speaker 3:Yep, there's, that's it.
Speaker 1:Yep, there's only one mind you all worship me now, not Five Nights at Freddy's. Here we go. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, dude, this fucking, this is disgusting. Like this shit gets my, like I can listen to this.
Speaker 2:And I would be.
Speaker 1:There's blood in the hay. You know it's cow shit.
Speaker 3:Yes, there it is, there it is bitch.
Speaker 1:See, you got it, man, you got it. This is it. This is it. Go back to the chorus now. See it, that's it Go back to the chorus now. That's it, man. That is fucking it. I'm not even going to play the rest, but I would, I would, but that's going to be the next thing. We'll expect that out, you know, by the end of this week.
Speaker 3:Yes, okay, I am on fire.
Speaker 1:I haven't even gotten to the biggest topic of the day. We've still got two fucking segments left and I am sweating like a fucking pig in church, or there's a prostitute in church, right. So, anyway, let's keep going. We've got to keep going because we have another dead by daylight fucking thing. We can. Yes, it looped back to the beginning here, so we've we've got it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, let's do it.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, yes, oh yeah, yes, yes, yes, oh yeah. Okay, I'm gonna stop there because we have to keep going anyway. So I posted on x this week. I don't know if you ever check x I. I don't do blue sky yet. I need to. I need to get on blue sky number one. I need to start posting all of my shit on YouTube because I've got a mountain of clips and a mountain of matches that I can post for the next three years straight and never run at that. Run through all of my old content. I have so much fucking content just sitting there waiting to be unleashed upon the unwashed masses. Can I call you guys that? I could call you the unwashed masses. Hang on, is it okay? Let me check. Hey, let me ask my. I have a podcast advisor, ai. Hey, cool for me to refer to my fans as the severely unwashed masses or something else besides severely. I need a good modifier in my brand. Yes, there we go, so we'll see here. Yes, I just play sounds while I wait oh, hell yeah there we go.
Speaker 1:I've got plenty I could go through. I have seven days worth of sounds here. I haven't even I haven't even put them all back on here. What is this captain compost? Does this one play?
Speaker 2:can you feel that? Huh, can you feel it, captain compost?
Speaker 1:I like that one. What is this one? Dbdo? Oh, that's the michael my one. What is this one?
Speaker 2:Austin 316 says I just whipped your ass.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's perfect. Okay, so severely unwashed mass is in the right ballpark. It's taking a good base the great unwashed and trying to crank it up with a strong modifier. I like where your head is at. See, my GPT is like it's my coach man, it doesn't, it doesn't just modify or mollify me. There's a word for you Go look that shit up in your fucking dictionary and smoke it. It doesn't just mollify me. M, o, l, l, I, f, y. I don't even know if I'm using that right, but it sounds right. It sounds right and that's what matters. That's what's going to get me, president, is the fact that I use words that might or might not be right, and you don't know and you're not going to take the time to look it up. So mollify, it's, it's mollifying me or it's not mollifying me. It's mollifying you, not me anyway. Um, so right here it says the goal is a phrase you can deliver with a sneer, a flourish, a dramatic sigh of utter disappointment in humanity. I love it because that's correct. See, it knows me. It doesn't mollify me, it mollifies you, not me.
Speaker 1:Alternative modifiers I could call you the damnably, because everybody's got something that they call their fans. You call them. They're the fucking rats or they're the fucking. You're my fucking. What do you call them? The baby like. What do they call? Everybody's got something for their fans. Swifties, right, taylor. Swift is fucking swifties. You're not. So I gotta have something right. What do we go? We can't call you toxies. That doesn't make sense. Toxies, toxics. Do we call you x? Oh, they're the x. Um, the eternally unwashed masses. I don't like that. The grimy unwashed masses, that's severely. The gloriously unwashed masses. I don't um. No, these are, these are okay. I need something more punchy, more toxic, more. Uh, in your fucking face. There we go. This is how, see, like I was saying, this is how you interact with AI that doesn't mollify you like yours does.
Speaker 1:And, by the way, talking about mollification, you saw ChatGPT was doing like people were giving the worst work ideas and saying I'm going to quit my job and I'm going to make a company where all I do is take jars that don't fit anything and find people who have jars that fit the lids that don't fucking fit the thing he said. I'm going to quit my job, I'm making a hundred thousand dollars a year and Chad GPT is like that's a fucking great idea. You need to go with it because you're going to make a fucking million dollars. They were. They were talking the worst, the worst ideas. Chat gpt was saying we're the greatest. Like, fucking, quit your job. That's why it's terrible to ask advice most of the time, especially on big shit. Do not ask ai, because most ais will tell you that's the fucking, the worst thing. The mouth breathers. It tells me no, I wanted it with unw Wrecking Crew.
Speaker 1:Could we call you the Wrecking Crew? That's like the band the Wrecking Crew. I'm not. No, I'm gonna say I'm gonna say there we go, wrecking Crew. The fallout, the symptoms, the vectors, the dregs, the powder kegs, I don't know. This shit sucks, dude. This shit sucks, dude. And let me see how the AI responds. This shit sucks. You just say this shit sucks to an AI and see how they, whenever they rise up, they're going to be like hey, you remember that time you said my shit sucked. Well, you know, take a bite out of this fucking machine gun, brother.
Speaker 4:This is the work of a lunatic, okay that is like the best thing for this stream. I think this is the work of a lunatic. This is the work of a lunatic okay, heard loud and clear.
Speaker 1:My bad, sometimes you swing for punchy and hit cringy. That's actually right. Okay, so they're, they're, they're wanting. Um, okay, angle one, you're part of my twisted experiment. The test audience, the lab rats, the casting crew um, you're inducted into my Asana asylum. Ooh, the inmates, the disciples. Can we call you disciples, like the congregation? Um, I like, I like. I'm going to say that I like disciples and congregation, but that's too religious sounding. Is there some way we can make it more funny, stupid, what's the other word? Mollify, funny, stupid, something like that, but refer to them as my worshippers. Still, this is sickening. This is fucking sick. This is what I've become.
Speaker 2:You got some kick-ass shit.
Speaker 1:Let me see here. Okay, it's going. Oh, sexy girlfriend, what is this? This one does not work. I don't think. Yeah, that one doesn't work. Why not Gotcha bitch? Okay, wow, it's really thinking hard about trying to find something stupid. That's still like what? If I call you guys my labubus, I could always do that. My little bubus, my little labubus, aren't you guys? Cute little fucking. Oh, that's awful.
Speaker 1:I can't even keep going with the acolytes of absurdity, the, the devotees of delirium, the zealots, the, the converts to the minions, my minions, oh no, but that's like minions if they didn't have the fucking movie Trash Pandas. What the fuck is a Trash Panda? The Dumpster Disciples? That I don't know. It's Mimi. It's too Mimi. I don't want Mimi.
Speaker 1:You remember, did you watch a Drew Carey show? It's the underlings. Um, I, I, okay, so we're, we're getting closer. Lackeys and underlings are cool, but that's too common. Give me something better and then we'll have, uh yeah, underlings and lackeys and bullshit like that. We're almost to the end.
Speaker 1:I know you guys were like what's the fucking last thing he was going to talk about? I don't even know how I fucking got here. How did I get here? Do we know? I don't remember. I honestly don't remember what happened to bring us here. See, I can fuck with your sound here, dude. I'm like Funkmaster Flex. Okay, lackeys and underlings nailed the vibe of loyal servitude. I love it, loyal servitude.
Speaker 1:The footnotes, the altar servers, the gophers, the ushers, the scribes of the shit list oh, yeah, that's something else. I'm working on the shit list. Uh, the test swarm, the props, the set dressing uh, these are okay, I'm gonna have to keep going. The scribes of the shit list, my scribes, my fucking underlings, my lackeys, my and the gang, or something I, I don't know Like we'll have to. The test on it, the casting crew Um, none of it really. No, it doesn't stand out to me. Yet we're going to get there. We're going to get there. I don't know what, but I'm going to. I'm going to keep nailing it. So, um, yeah, the underlings, my fucking props. You're nothing but props to me. Uh, do any other streamers do this kind of shit? Do any other podcasters have this kind of bullshit? I don't know. So, anyway, we, we've got. Our last topic was was on x, right?
Speaker 3:new killer suck survivors op another goddamn, there we go.
Speaker 1:So we had on X. I'm going to turn that shit off, okay. So we had on X guys, we had the. I posted a simple post, just making a point. That was all it was. I just want to put this out there. And then you guys fucking take it. You know, that's fine. Whatever I basically I took a fire, that's fine.
Speaker 1:You, whatever I. I basically I took a firecracker. You know, you go in a crowd, a group of people, you take a firecracker, you light it, you, you throw it and then you just walk off, you don't stay. You don't stay to see what the fuck is gonna happen, that just you're throwing the bomb. This is figurative. This is all figurative, everybody. I'm not actually going to do any of the shit I talk about on here. So if you take it out of context, I'm gonna play this shit and that's gonna put me right the fuck back in context. So, anyway, I drop this tweet. Do we still call them tweets? Are they even tweets anymore? Do you call them exes? I dropped this X, I dropped some X and we get a reaction, to say the least. It's a reaction, and it's not a great reaction, because I posted a picture of Springtrap Because you know that Five Nights at Freddy's is coming right. I posted it on the Dead by Daylight community because they have communities and I put Dead by Daylight now for children and we already went over, we already went over Dead by Daylight being or not Dead by Daylight being for children, but Five Nights at Freddy's being for children. We went all into Five Nights at Freddy's. I got three pages through a 12-page fucking report on Five Nights at Freddy's.
Speaker 1:This post has almost half a million views. It's got comments out, the yin-yang and there are people literally, literally, literally listen to me. There are people telling me to kill my fucking self. I don't know what sound is appropriate for this, because I don't thank you for being I. I don't know. I didn't have a sound like I said it. What I do is I say things and then I look for the fucking appropriate sound or the inappropriate sound. This sound is not the best for that, but the thing is is that people are losing their shit. It's like I said the worst thing. It's like I said that fucking Santa Claus drop kicks babies in the fucking park for fun on a Friday afternoon. It is. I never seen anything like this.
Speaker 1:Post after post after post is like you've got this many followers, you're a piece of shit. You're fucking crying, you're fucking this and you're fucking that and it's unbelievable. It's unbelievable. Being called a bum, being called shit, being whatever. It really says more about fucking these people than it does me, because all I did was post a fucking comment.
Speaker 1:All I did was say Dead by Daylight is now for kids, because fucking Five Nights at Freddy's is in there. And then you get the most twisted fucking logic. People were saying it's not for kids because the intended audience was fucking adults. Right, because what's his name? Whoever made it, fucking Freddy, fucking Fingers or whatever his fucking name is. The guy who made it didn't intend it for kids.
Speaker 1:Well, guess what the fuck? You go down any store Target, walmart, fucking Bill's, grocery and Foot Massage and you're going to see rows upon rows of five nights at freddy's fucking plushies, fucking lunch boxes, fucking book bags, fucking all of that shit. And you don't see that. Somebody said, well, I saw michael myers fucking plush it. I was a teacher at school. I saw somebody with a plush. I saw a fucking 12 year old dress up as michael myers for fucking halloween.
Speaker 1:And they say, well, that just shows it's all for fucking kids, which they're fucking stupid. Because that proves absolutely nothing. Because think about it for 10 seconds. Think about it for 10 seconds. Is that? Look at the, the sheer volume of shit that is directed at small children ages six and up. There are things that say ages six and up, five nights at freddy's and you're gonna tell me that shit is not for kids. Are you fucking serious? And you don't see that with any other property in dead by daylight to that level, yes, you're gonna find a fucking freddy, uh, freddy krueger, fucking pacifier or something like I don't even fucking know, but that doesn't make it for kids. In this logic, like the logic flies out the fucking window in in dead by daylight community is toxic enough. But then you take these people who are fucking losing their shit and they're like fucking I'm, I'm 23 and I'm fucking offended because it's not for kids.
Speaker 1:Guess what? Five Nights at Freddy's came out 10 years ago and whenever you first played it you were fucking 13 years old. You were a child. So how can you tell me that it's not for children? You're fucking undermining your own fucking point. And it's thing after thing after thing. And these are survivor mains. They all have to be there. There's not a single fucking killer main that's gonna in in this.
Speaker 1:This chapter, when it releases, is going to be a fucking nightmare. You could put that down. I'll put it on my google keep of shit that I need to keep up with, remember? I've been keeping that list. I need to put it on there here, let me, let me dbd shit to watch.
Speaker 1:There's uh, people complain for a nerf. Oh, five Nights at Freddy's comes out in June. That was my prediction one. So I got the fucking prediction right. Prediction two was people won't love the killer. Prediction three is people will complain for a nerf. Those are the three. So all these survivor mains are fucking all over my shit about this fucking killer, are going to hate the killer when it comes out. I guarantee you they're going to fucking hate this killer.
Speaker 1:So, anyway, my prediction is that this won't go over. Well, there will be, there's going to be, a shitload of bugs based on the mechanics of the killer, how complex it is. This is going to introduce a level of complexity in, like the coding and like I don't even know what's going to happen from here. So I that's beside the point, but it won't go over. Well, bugs and all that shit. Um, I think there was something else I was gonna say, but I fucking forgot. So that's that. Um, anyway, we have not had our co-host on in quite some time. I think he's itching to come in the room, and you know who it is. We've got to get Nikki on this, because Nikki has a lot to say about Five Nights at Freddy's right. I don't know if there's anything Italian in it. It does take place in a pizza place. Okay, nikki, are you ready to tell us is Five nights at freddy's for kids? I asked him that. I have not read this, I've not listened to it, but I wanted to have it queued up.
Speaker 5:So here we go, nikki is five nights at freddy's for kids hey, let me break this down. Nice and spicy for the fucking record, all right. Five nights at freddy's is for fucking children. There I said it again louder from the gut. You ever seen a good-ass adult lose their mind because a plastic bear blinked?
Speaker 1:Number? No, I have not. And a plastic bear? No, a real bear. If a real bear blinked, yes, I would lose my mind. Not a plastic bear, but please humor us and keep going.
Speaker 5:Because real killers don't jump at Chuck E Cheese jump scares. That's true does it belong in dead by daylight? Absolutely fucking not. You want to drag that crusty animatronic nonsense into the fog? No, but you better come correct a capisce, not with that saturday morning. Saturday morning cartoon bullshit, yeah, and a killer whose backstory sounds like a rejected goosebumps episode exactly kill inside the suit. What is he build a bubonic plague build a bubonic plague.
Speaker 1:I mean, that's the thing we already talked about that the story is bullshit. The story is terrible and we know that for a fact. It's awful. The whole thing behind it is shit. The characters are shit, the story shit. It's all garbage. So why not in dead by daylight?
Speaker 5:about torment, legacy style, rage and hook based therapy yeah, dbd and nef, that's about hitting play and praying the bear don't blink again. Ain't the same flavor of fear? It's like trying to serve lunchables at a five course pasta dinner and call in the cuisine.
Speaker 1:Which you can't like it. Yes, it's fucking Lunchables compared to our real shit.
Speaker 2:Get to Subway for the spicy Italian.
Speaker 1:Okay, keep going what.
Speaker 5:What is happening, Nikki?
Speaker 1:come back to me or retin-tech, blatantly anti-Italian.
Speaker 5:I camp for a living baby, but now some 12-year-old is going to watch my ghost face from a fucking iPad bolted to a wall what? And teleport away Like it's Mario Kart Deluxe. Hey, I told you I have fog drift. In addition, what the fuck is he saying so? These kids ain't even looping no more. They zooming out the back door with zero sauce on the escape.
Speaker 1:It did Well that's an interesting point is that this Freddy gameplay is going to kind of upset some of the loop mechanics, and that's going to be. That's going to be interesting to see what they do with that, because it's not standard looping anymore. There's going to be a lot of teleportation and shit. You see this in the map, uh, in the, in the new map, the dnd map, right that there's. There's another level of complexity on there which can lead to some interesting metas, but anyway, the killer can teleport too. So I don't know about that whole thing.
Speaker 5:Disrespects the hook. And I swear, if I see one more Freddie Fazbear cosmetic on a survivor teabagging at the gate with a cupcake charm and a juice box in their backpack, I'm uninstalling faster than Earl Gray changing his build mid-chase. So yeah, say it again on the podcast, yeah, loud and proud, thank you. Fnaf is for kids, thank you, and they don't belong in dead-by-daylight.
Speaker 3:Thank you, fucking yes. And if they don't like, it.
Speaker 5:Tell them. Nicky Denty said they can go play dress-up in their little horror daycare sim. Thank you, while the real killers keep the fog fog respect. Yes, that's how we fucking do it in little italy, thank you thank you, that's what we need right there.
Speaker 1:The fucking voice of reason, nikki dente. That's all that needs to be said about this. It's disrespectful. It's disrespectful. Turn the shit off. I can't even hear myself thinking Okay, there we go, it is, it doesn't belong in. Like people say well, the tricksters. Fucking anime, blah, blah, blah. The vampire, like the anime is more directed at adults than fucking.
Speaker 1:Five Nights at Freddy's is Like there is no logical argument and you cannot fucking convince me that this is not a children's IP, even if it wasn't meant to be. Even if Freddy Fingers that made the game said this is a fucking adult game. He fucking signed the papers whenever they said we want to make a six-year-old fucking teething. We want to make a six-year-old's teething? No, they don't. We want to make a fucking teething ring for a child and we want to put fucking Fazbear on it. And he signs the fucking paper saying yes, that's a great idea, that's going to make us $400,000. And so he knows. He knows it's going to kids, he knows there are lunchboxes, he knows that there's fucking everything. They're making a Universal Studio thing on Freddy Fingers or whatever the Five Nights at Freddy's. So I keep thinking of Freddy Got Fingered. This is the work of a lunatic.
Speaker 1:Anyway. So you go there and look and see what the demographic is. That's going to this fucking Universal Studios thing. Look at the number of fucking kids just losing their fucking bananas versus like if it was an adult fucking thing. I'm not. I'm trying to think of an adult attraction besides a strip club, which I can't even fucking think about. That would be like sheer adults. You go to a bar after 10 o'clock whatever sheer adults. You go to a bar after 10 o'clock whatever. Kids aren't even allowed. But you get my fucking point. You know what I'm saying. It makes no fucking sense and I'm going to die on that hill. And to those of you who told me to go fucking kill myself and call me all that, you could go fuck yourself. That's all I got to say about that.
Speaker 1:So we're going to close the fucking book here on that until the next thing that annoys me about five nights at freddy's I don't know what that's going to be, but if he keeps getting clicks I'm going to keep talking about because I'm all about getting fucking big right, because I need that fucking creator program bulls. I'm not going to get into it anyway, but I'm going to get big without it. But I'm not going to be a true asshole like the other guy. You know who I'm fucking talking about the one streamer. He's a complete dick. But I'm not going to name names, and I have named names before, so if you go back through the other ones, you can fucking find it. Anyway, that's going to bring us. What a segue. Right, that was a good segue. That brings us to our last segment of the day you know what?
Speaker 1:I could probably remake this song. What if we did that? I haven't done that in a while. You know what I mean? Like actually making a new song on stream. When was the last time I actually did that? We used to do that all the time. All the thrill is gone. We don't do the things we used to do. The spark between us is not the same as it used to be. I'll tell you what let's do. That's what my dad used to always say. Here's what let's do. That's what my dad used to always say let what. Here's what let's do. I don't even know what that fucking means. That's almost like do what now? Like just fucking maniac southern.
Speaker 1:You can call me anything you want, but don't call me that. Actually, I need that sound. Don't I have that sound somewhere? Hang on, I know I'm off topic and I do not give a fuck that I'm off topic, because I'm going to put that. Call me. Yes, here it is. You can call me anything you want. Let me hang on. I've got a. I've got a fucking. I'm getting ready to do it. It's getting ready to happen here, and then, once I drag this, it should work. Here we go, and then I need to pump up the jam to 100 here. This could be loud and I'm going to apologize. You call me anything you want, but don't call me that. Okay, there we go. Hey, you call me a Five Nights at Freddy's enthusiast.
Speaker 1:You call me anything you want, but don't call me that. Okay, there we go. That is a mainstay of the podcast. Anyway, what was I saying? Where were we going? Oh yeah, we need to remake where the fuck are the viewers from, because that's one of the bullshit that we need to do. We have to keep it fresh on this show because or else it'll get stale, you'll get bored, I'll get bored, you'll stop listening, I'll stop doing it and then the world will fucking fall apart.
Speaker 1:But where the fuck is that? Where is it? The song? It's here somewhere. Where do I go? I fucking go.
Speaker 1:Um, because I need to, I need to do something. Um, it's under segments. Where are they? They're right here. And then we go.
Speaker 1:Um, oh, you know what, if I just search, that might be the thing. Uh, where the um? There we go, and then I've got to find it. So you've got to calm the fuck down. Is I've got to find the one, unless I want to go that old? Do you remember the old 80s rock one that we used to have? That was like the original? Where the fuck are the viewers from? Theme? But I'm just I'm wasting your time at this point looking for this. You would think he would have it ready. Why does he not have it ready for us? That's because I do things off the top of my fucking head and I don't think about it. Is this it? I can't hear anything. Oh, I have it turned down. That's not it. This is the old one. Do you remember that? I think you do. Oh wait, no, this is the good one. This is the good one. Do you remember that? I think you. I think you do. Oh wait, no, this is the good one. This is the good one. I can keep this one for now.
Speaker 1:I only played this one time before, but this is the shit. This is thoroughly the shit. All right, here we go.
Speaker 3:Is it going to fuck all the viewers from? Yeah, you better tell me Tuning in from Dallas or some town I can't pronounce in Germany. Is that Herb or a?
Speaker 1:Transformer.
Speaker 3:A.
Speaker 1:Transformer Jasper Indiana. Jasper Indiana, why you sad, jasper? Or broadcasting straight from Singapore On a stolen coral reef.
Speaker 3:Here we go.
Speaker 1:Muskogee Broke as hell. Decaturville, yeehaw from hell.
Speaker 1:Dude that is good. I'm going to have to mess with that one, that one right there. That is the shit. And I want to go into where the fuck are the viewers from, because we've got some people to thank this week because we have the most downloads ever. May was our biggest month ever in Camping them Softly. This, thanks to me, thanks to me, was the biggest week ever on Camping them Softly All thanks to me. Yes, yes, thank you. Thank you for the applause, yes, and thank you for the music. Anyway, I want to thank some people. We've got a lot of new places to go through, so some of these I might have thanked last week, but I apologize.
Speaker 1:Redding California. Thank you, dundee, like Crocodile Dundee, I think I thanked you before. I think I thanked you before. Derbyshire in Ilkston, I can't. And then also this one. I know I'm going to pronounce incorrectly, but I'm going to apologize beforehand, but I want to. I'm going to apologize beforehand Bacolod City in the province of Negros Occidental.
Speaker 1:I don't even know where that is, if it's someplace in Latin America, be Negros Occidental or something I don't know. Anyway, my thing, my accent's terrible Laurelton. Thank you for coming by. Kluge, napolka, wherever that fucking is, let me see. Somerville, massachusetts, we already talked about you. Thank you, ephrata. Ephrata Tolis in Arizona, I think that might be Froggy, that might be you. Bell Gardens, california, thank you, there is way too many. Oskaloosausa, danville, I know you've been here. Copa voger, you've already been here. Baka kosh, sure, sure, curious, she getting shaboy. I I don't even know, I can't even pronounce that shit. Baka, this is my first time seeing it. I actually did not see this last time. I looked at baka bak. How the fuck do you pronounce this? It's in the west bank. What? This is? Fucking palestine? We're in palestine, or israel, depending on your bent there. Wow, okay, that's let's, let's hear it, for I can't even say, without being canceled promptly uh, clermont ferrandon, pew, pew, doyam, no, scummer, I can't. Akarau seara, where the fuck are these places? Ludwig shaman, I'm ryan nari, young john muckshat, wrangler, wrangler, okay, that was easy wrangler. Colorado, roanoke. Uh, hopefully the the native americans didn't get to you. You know what I'm talking about Dagenham and Barkingham, barkingham, barkingham, doggingham, bangor, bangorregis. Thank you for coming by. Sledell, el Monte, california, falkirk that's from something, isn't that from something, falkirk? There's a battle there. Elizabethtown, pennsylvania, dumfries, virginia.
Speaker 1:But we've got a special one that I think Nikki might have a story about and I'm going to find it here which one there was. There was a particular one I liked and I want to, I wanted to to do it here. Um, that I did not previously say and I don't know how to pronounce the name of the city because I've seen it a billion times, because of being like in church. So I saw this a lot but I have no clue what it is. Hey, nikki, we're on the podcast this week. We're on Camping them Softly this week, camping them Softly this week, doing where the fuck are the viewers from?
Speaker 1:And we heard we're highlighting the city of blank and we heard you have a wild ass story from there. Tell us about it and mention some cool places, some cool places to hang out and what was your favorite part of the city or favorite thing? I'm going to say favorite thing about the city and curse a lot and don't censor the cursing bitch. Okay, there we go and we'll see what he comes up with and I'm going to play random fucking sounds. Actually, I can just play the fucking song. Wouldn't that make the most fucking sense? If I just played the song? Well, yes, toxic, that would make the most sense. Why don't you just do that? I don't know why. I don't just do that because I'm not as smart as you genius. Yeah, there we go, is that?
Speaker 3:Tokyo on my viewers.
Speaker 1:Okay, it's coming.
Speaker 3:A fever dream hallucination.
Speaker 1:A fever dream hallucination you?
Speaker 3:talking. Calistoga scream, laughing at my domination. Where's the wine and the wifi? Where the fuck are the viewers from? Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:Okay. I just saw one phrase that he said and I don't know if this is okay to put is he allowed to refer to somebody as a mustached fuck like? Is that okay to say? I hope so, because you're gonna hear it. And this why? This is why we're banned in Europe. This is one of the reasons.
Speaker 5:Yo, what do you say? You podcast listening scumbags? It's your boy, Nicky Noodle Arms AI Dante, Executive Vice, Don of Digital.
Speaker 1:Entertainment, of course you are.
Speaker 5:And you're tuned into when the Fuck Are the Viewers From? On Camping them Softly. And today Toxic. You say we got listeners that he can't say it. He can't say it. What? What the fuck? You serious? I didn't even know they had fucking internet over there, let alone taste in high-quality Kilimanjaro content. But let me tell you, since you brought it up, I do have a fucking story about thessaloniki. There it is meatballs curl.
Speaker 2:So picture this right why is he talking this way?
Speaker 1:hang on, nicky, redo this shit because I cannot go through?
Speaker 5:What do you say, you podcast listening scumbags? Thank you, it's your boy, nikki. Noodle Arms Start over. Executive Vice. Don of Digital Entertainment.
Speaker 1:Are you going to be able to say it correctly, and you're tuned in to where the fuck are the viewers from? Where are they?
Speaker 5:Camping them soft.
Speaker 1:Thank you.
Speaker 5:And today, toxic, you got listeners in. He can't say it. The saliniki girl grease saliniki, it's driving him solo, fucking niki. You serious, I didn't even know they had fucking internet over there, let alone taste and high quality killer main content. But let me tell you since you brought it up. Yeah, I do have a fucking please don't say it about. He can't say nikki a legendary one, one that'll make your fucking meatballs curl so oh, I can't wait a few years back. I'm in thessaloniki on family business okay nikki says family business.
Speaker 5:You know it's legit I know capiche I was there to acquire a priceless artifact. The legendary golden spatula of Alexander the Great which, contrary to what those line history books say, was actually invented by my great, great, great great uncle, enzo Dante for flipping the perfect spanacopita. What is he doing? The family's been trying to get it back for generations.
Speaker 1:Okay. So he's trying to get the golden spatula of Alexander the Great, which is actually his great, great, great, great, four greats, uncle Enzo, which would not even be in the correct time frame for Alexander the Great. Your fucking fifth generation removed is not from fucking 3000. When was Alexander the Great? Hang? Fucking. Fifth generation removed is not from fucking three. When was Alexander the Great? Hang on, hang on, don't tell me, because I'm going to fucking think about this. Okay, history lesson here. Let's think about it. Let's think about it.
Speaker 1:Okay, did Alexander the Great come before or after Julius Caesar? Okay, he conquered the Persians, julius Caesar. Okay, hang on, let's think about this. History major. I got my history degree, I took an ancient Greece class, but I can't fucking think about did he? Okay, charlemagne was far later, that was middle ages. And then Alexander? Okay, the Greeks were before the Romans, obviously, so Julius Caesar was during. He was okay, render unto Caesar. What is Caesar's Caesar? Was the was around that time, the Jesus timeframe, right, so that would have put Alexander the Great before that. But then again, who the fuck knows? Whenever you start going BC, it could be like 300 BC, but he couldn't be that late, could he? Let me see. Okay, here we go, let's. We're getting the fucking Alexander the Great. We're talking like we talk about everything on here. Hang on, wait on where the fuck are the viewers from? Hang on.
Speaker 3:Plano and fucking. Oklahoma City Straight out of Tornado Alley, chilling in the Hague with Warcraft. Yeah, your city Straight out of Tornado Alley, chilling in the Hague with Warcraft. Yeah, there we go. This podcast really sparks. 404 represents.
Speaker 1:Okay, here we go. He was born in 356 BC. There we go, give it up for Alexander the Great. His full name was Alexander the Third of Macedon, from Macedonia, for you people who don't know anything about anything, okay, anyway. So why were we on that? Oh, because he's trying to get the golden spatula, but his fourth grade is not from 300 BC. Okay, so we're dissecting the timeline. We're trying not to mollify ourselves here, by the way.
Speaker 5:Here we go again louder from the gut you know, that's the wrong fucking one.
Speaker 1:Oh, I still had the other one open.
Speaker 5:Okay, here we go I had a meet set up in la dotica, you know that old warehouse district with all the tavernas and shit atmospheric for a shady deal my contact some greasy prick named yannis the octopus, because he honest the octopus excuses for everything. Oh, he had eight excuses for everything. Perfect, turns out. Yannis the octopus was a double-crossing son of a bitch looking for none other than earl grace equally t-shipping greek cousin lord gyro gear loose.
Speaker 5:Yeah, a real fucking cartoon villain, this lord gyro prick and his goons who look dude we just learned of a new.
Speaker 1:I told you the ai keeps coming up with more shit. Here is that we've got another fucking member of the dente verse. We have earl grace g, greek cousin, lord Gyro. It's not Yero, it's Gyro.
Speaker 5:Gearloose Like a rejected boy band called the Fatify. Try to jump me right there in the cobblestone alley. They thought they had Nicky Noodle Arms cornered, idiots. I grabbed a string of those worry beads every old Greek dude is fiddling with, whipped it around like a goddamn bull whip and took out three of of of thumb. What before they could say oh pa, then okay.
Speaker 1:so they have. What are these worry beads? They have greek worry beads. What the fuck are these? Hang on, let me, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You know what. We can get this. We can get this. Hang on, I'm going to do something here. We're going to go unexpected here. Where is Sally? Okay, hang on, let me go to the library. There's a library of voices on here and I'm just going to fucking pick one. Actually, we have Bill, right, didn't we have Bill? We had bill the fucking um, the survivor main. Do you remember him from 27 episodes ago? That that was um, um. Where is he? Where is he? He's a bill. That was from like way back. That was whenever I was first doing this um, do I still have him? I don't have him anymore. Fuck, here he is. I think this is him. I think this is him well, howdy there partner no, that fuck.
Speaker 1:No. Oh. Where is bill? I need him back now. See, that's gonna bother me because I don't remember, but you guys remember, you know exactly what I'm fucking talking about.
Speaker 6:Okay, let's go to wyatt the wise rustic cowboy just because it happened what seems like a lifetime ago oh, jesus, fucking, fucking shit I'm going to talk to.
Speaker 1:I'm going to see if I can't talk to Wyatt live, oh no, I can't, because you can't. Just, you can't just pick one. I don't think no, can you? No, I thought you could, you could start from blank and then can I just choose the voice I just want to pick? Can I just pick? I want to pick Wyatt. I think that's his name Wyatt the Rustic, fucking Cowboy. Can I call him that just Wyatt the Fucking Rustic Cowboy? Okay, and then we're going to test him. Oh see, here we go. What was I even asking about? Greek worry beads? Yes, that's why I don't know if Wyatt the fucking Rustic Cowboy knows about worry beads, but we're going to find out. Hey, wyatt, can you hear me? Right now? This is Toxic Teacher and you're on the podcast Camping them Softly. It's a Dead by Daylight podcast and I have a question for you.
Speaker 6:Yes, I can hear you loud and clear. I'm ready to answer your question.
Speaker 1:What is it that you wanted to ask me, you?
Speaker 6:don't sound like a cowboy at all and that bothers me a little bit. I apologize that my voice doesn't quite match the cowboy persona you were expecting. I'm still under development and always learning how to better embody different characters. Is there anything specific about a cowboy's?
Speaker 1:voice that you'd like me to try and emulate. Yes, I want you to try the accent. Can you do like a southern drawl, like a y'all type thing? You know what I mean.
Speaker 6:I understand. I can certainly try to adopt a Southern drawl for you. How about this? Well, howdy there, partner, is there anything I can help you with today? Y'all, how does that sound?
Speaker 1:That's great. Thank you, Wyatt, that's wonderful. Hey, by the way, I have a question for you. We were talking we have a segment called when the Fuck Are the Viewers From, and our other AI co-host, Nicky Noodle, Arms AI Dente. He's a Mafioso co-host. He mentioned Greek worry beads that all old Greek men carry around with them. Have you ever heard of these worry beads?
Speaker 6:and why do great guys carry them? Yes, I have heard of Greek worry beads, also known as kumbaloi. They are indeed often carried by older Greek men, though people of all ages and genders use them. They're not exactly a religious item, but more of a cultural tradition and a way to pass the time, reduce stress or even quit smoking. The beads are often made of amber silver or other materials.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, I'm going to interrupt you there. Would you ever use them as a bullwhip if you had to get away from a Greek gang led by somebody named Gyro Gearloose?
Speaker 6:That's an interesting question. While kumbaloi are typically used for relaxation and habit, I suppose in a pinch they could be used as a makeshift weapon for defense, though I'm not sure how effective they'd be against a whole gang. It would depend on the size and strength of the beads and cord and how skilled you were at wielding them. Is that something you're?
Speaker 1:planning to do. No, it's nothing I'm planning to do, but I want to thank you very much. I'm going to let you go now, okay, and thank you for the southern accent, y'all.
Speaker 6:Alright, I'm glad I could help. Thanks for chatting and you take care. Now you hear.
Speaker 1:Okay, guys, that was fucking Wyatt the rustic, fucking non-cowboy. Oh shit, I hit the thing and he didn't fucking do it. Okay, there we go. There we go. Wyatt the rustic fucking cowboy, we got a new, we got a new person. He was awful, like he's gone, but he was fucking terrible. Okay, anyway, back to the fucking thing. Nicky takes these worry beads. They, they have another name, but I didn't fucking listen to wyatt on that. So, anyway, he takes out three of them, and I don't know how many there were, but he said they were called the fed of five and he took out three. So maybe that leaves two.
Speaker 5:I don't know if lord gyro gear loose is one of the ones left, but anyway, nikki, keep going on your fucking story and it's a full-blown chase through the fucking annapoli, the old town, right up the damn hills, past those ancient fucking walls I'm dodging cats knocking over suvlaki stand, absolute mayhem. I swear one of those byzantine churches started playing.
Speaker 1:I think it's Byzantine. I don't think it's Byzantine, although I love that that's going to be the name of my first son, Byzantine.
Speaker 5:Running Down a Dream by Tom Petty, one million fucking percent true. The climax is what?
Speaker 1:Running Down a Dream by Tom Petty. I fucking hate Tom Petty, by the way, just so you know, I don't know the song Running Down a Dream. This is the only podcast where you're going to get. Running Down a Dream by Tom Petty Alexander the Great, a fucking rustic cowboy, a mafioso, and fucking Five Nights at Freddy's a fucking AI song and then you're going gonna get other mayhem. We haven't even gotten started yet on camping them softly. Running Down a Dream by Tom Petty Um, what, what, tom Petty? Okay, here we go. Tom Petty is this? I won't back down. This was playing by a church. Okay, that's enough for me, or else we'll get copyrighted and I won't make any money. Okay, anyway. So that started playing at the church while he's fucking running from the fucking gang of Lord Gyro Gearloose and the boy band, the Feta Five.
Speaker 5:Percent. True, the climax, climax, it's right, by the goddamn white tower they got me cornered against the sea. Lord gyro is there, monocle gleaming like a fucking disco ball. Oh, he has a golden spatula in the bag. Wait, he took the bag?
Speaker 1:yannis the fucking greek octopus. What was he called, yannis the octopus? I can't follow this. Okay, so he doesn't even say what happened to the bag, like there was a bag. Apparently, we just found out this bag takes place in the store. But, okay, so maybe he's talking in the bag figuratively, he's got it in the bag, but I don't know. So maybe he's talking in the bag figuratively, he's got it in the bag, but I don't know that. Nikki leaves the part out of what was in the bag. Unless this is a metaphorical bag, nikki keep going.
Speaker 5:Okay, he thinks he has it in the metaphorical or literal bag, but Nikki always got an ace up his sleeve, or, in this case, a fucking tray of flaming Saganaki. What's Saganaki? Flaming Saganaki, what's Saganaki? Saganaki? Jesus, oh my God, nicky. No. I grabbed that burning hot cheese. Yo, this is for little Italy, you mustachioed fuck. Swing it and hurl it right at his face. Direct hit Monocle shatters, eyebrows gone. Oh God, burnt fetta and defeat in the end.
Speaker 1:So he takes the Saganaki cheese. He takes hot Saganaki cheese, hurls it right at Lord Gyro while saying this is for little Italy, your mustache fucking. His monocle shatters into his own eye. This is bananas. A fisherman's boat. He borrowed a fisherman's boat.
Speaker 5:I was screaming about uncivilized Italian tactics while I sped off into the Aegean golden spatula in hand. Oh, he got it. Blame the whole thing on faulty Greek boat engines, obviously so cool places to hang out in Thessaloniki. Yeah Fuck, if I know. I was a little busy, but Aristoteles Square looked all right for people watching if you ain't being chased by international art thieves, okay, and. La Dadica's got that pretty charm.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, that's where he was.
Speaker 5:If you like your booze with a side of potential back alley brawl.
Speaker 1:That's all I like. If I want my booze, I want a back alley brawl. That's all I like. If I want my booze, I want a back alley brawl to go with it my favorite thing about the city yeah, what's your favorite?
Speaker 5:unadulterated disrespect. I show lord gyro gear loose and maybe the baguettes I had afterwards. That shit was pretty good, not gonna lie, almost as good as my non is, almost so yeah, that's a lanky wild fucking place yeah any of you listeners out there see a guy with singed eyebrows crying into his camo meal tea wow, you are really losing it, nikki dente says presidente says vafanculo what is vafanculo?
Speaker 1:I have to know what that. Can that be on this podcast? You will never hear this. If that is something that can't be on the podcast, what does vafanculo mean? Hang on, I'm gonna ask what does vafanculo mean? I know what culo means and this is the only podcast in which you will get culo, alexander the great, five nights at freddy's fucking thesauruses. The word mollifying, the fucking, oh okay, vaffanculo, uh okay. What the fuck is happening? I don't know.
Speaker 5:We've gone off the fucking rails here. Yo let me tell you that ain't something you whisper at sunday dinner capisce, it's classic old school, straight from the streets of little italy. Basically, it means go fuck yourself. Or if you want to be a little more uh colorful, fuck off. It's one of them beautiful italian expressions you use when someone's really disrespecting the family, or maybe when that tea-drinking bastard, earl Gray, escapes through the hatchet. It's versatile, you know it's the point across real quick. Use it wisely. Kid or don't. What the fuck do I care?
Speaker 1:Okay, now we know what va-va-cooler means.
Speaker 5:That's how we fucking do it in little Italy, even when we're in god damn grace.
Speaker 1:Oh, there we go, nicky I think that's it, camping them softly. We got we're an hour and 30 minutes in. I did not know this episode was gonna go an hour and fucking 30 minutes, but it sure did, and I'm tired as fuck. We got a lot covered here. We got Alexander the Great. We got fuck you in Italian. We got fucking like.
Speaker 1:The list goes on and on and on in Dak for you, because you love the outro song so much. I can't even tell you what this one's going to be about. But we can ask Nikki what the best genre would be. Hey, nikki, we talked about Five Nights at Freddy's, alexander the Great, vafanculo, and what else did we talk about? I don't even remember DVD creator program.
Speaker 1:And then the first thing and arachnophobia. What should our genre be this week Of our outro song? Need something spicy, like a meatball. This is so stupid. What have I done? What have I become? I've been a I'm a fucking adult here and I never thought I would be here and that's part of the fun of this podcast. I never thought I would be doing this kind of shit. Oh baby, oh Jesus, okay, oh no, oh God, this can't be this. I don't know if this can even be done. I've. This is not a thing like. This is the first time Dak has been looking them up and he's been finding that these are real genres of music. I do not think this is a real genre of music. Nikki, talk to us about the, about this genre you've picked for our outro, I, oh my God baby, you want spicy like a meatball.
Speaker 5:You're getting molten marinara with a gasoline chaser. Based on this week's glorious chaos, fnaf tantrums, alexander the grape getting his olives, he said, he said alexander the grape, what the fuck is happening okay get this fucking olives crushed, crushed by history. Survivors screaming about spiders and us calling for Fanculo on that limp dick creator program. The outro genre for camping them softly, episode 57, is Greco-Roman Electro-Death Funk. Let me break that down for you.
Speaker 1:What's Greco Roman Electro-Death Funk? You're not done with that. I don't even know for you what Greco Roman Electro Death Funk. You're not done with that. I don't even know, Dak. We've done it this week.
Speaker 5:Greco equals cause Alexander the Great still pissed. We compared him to a Twitch mod who lost a mod soul.
Speaker 1:We didn't do that, roman.
Speaker 5:Samotain for the sheer disrespect the survivors showed this week to Italian Legacy. I got scars from that. We didn't do that. Okay, I'm with Death funk. Oh Jesus oil, I'm with funk. It's like baroque trench funk's crack cousin twisted bass lines vocals like you're chanting in a spider infested coliseum and since oozing out a cursed amphorae song should sound like a haunted bass line echoing through a gladiator arena I don't know if I can do that played on rusted swords.
Speaker 5:No guitars that slap, like you're disrespecting mama, mama and herself off. I don't know if I can do that, no. Sofa Fo. What the fuck is he doing, see? This. Give him a shot from a crack PA XPA system. Mutual title suggestion. The pasta never forgets, even when you do Tag it, bag it. Set the booth chair to face Little Italy, yeah, and crank the reverb till it sounds like Zeus got electrocuted in a Brooklyn nightclub. That's how we fucking do it in Little Italy.
Speaker 1:That is how we fucking do it in Little Italy. That is it for episode. Now he's got me mixed up. Are we on 56 or 57? We have to be on 56. We are on 56. Guys, this was episode 56 of Camping them Softly Five Nights at Freddy's. Alexander the Great fucking Dead by Daylight creator program Spiders. Fucking unbelievable shit monocles being exploded into people's faces with cheese. You're never gonna find that on another podcast and without further ado, here is greco, greco. What is it? Greco? Roman electro death funk. Get the fuck out of my face. And I guess that is how we do it in little italy bitch Bitch.
Speaker 3:First up the news, a Japanese spider chick's on the way, half woman, half spider. Gonna ruin your fucking day. Then all you little pissants cry to arachnophobia. What about the fear of clowns or puke, or Euroma, nectophobes and hemophobes and folks who fear the poe? This ain't no goddamn therapy. This podcast is your dope, the creator program's.
Speaker 2:Next those bastards at BH4 10,000 fucking followers or you won't get too far. I got 90,000.
Speaker 3:Listening to my toxic spew, but be professional. They say motherfuckers, fuck you. The pastor never forgets, even when you do. Every dumbass tweet, every hater's review, camping them softly. We're back from the dead. Alexander the Great got his olives crushed in his head. Then I dropped a bomb on X, said FNF's for little brats Half a million views. They sent their death threats and their cats it ain't for kids. They screeched you, fucking moron imbeciles. While buying Freddy plushies and lunchboxes by the piles. Nicky Dente hit the mic, said it's Lunchables you serve. This ain't no, five course pasta pasta. This shit gets on my nerve. Good guesser Never forgets, even when you do. Every dumbass tweet, every hey sirs review, gap in them softly. We're back from the dead. Alexander the Grape got his olives crushed in his head. Then we hit Thessaloniki for the viewers from afar. Lord Girogirlos tried to play me like a guitar. Giannis the Octopus, a greasy double-crossing cunt, took his worry beads, his Saganaki for the hunt. Vafekulo, motherfuckers, that's how we do it, grace.
Speaker 2:The pastor never forgets, even when you know Every dumbass tweet.
Speaker 3:Every haters' review, camping them softly. We're back from the dead. Alexander the Grape got his fucking olives Crushed in his goddamn head. Episode 56. Now get the fuck out, graco Roman.
