Camping Them Softly: A Dead by Daylight Podcast

Ep. 59 - Fazbear's Here! And This Podcast Is Not For Hayley.

• ToxicTeacherTTV • Season 1 • Episode 59

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Let’s get one thing straight—this episode is not for Hayley.
Not if you're leavin’ 1-star reviews talkin’ about "cringe" while sittin’ in a Dead Hard build with Self-Care and a Twitch link in your username. [wheezes] No shot.

In Episode 59 of Camping Them Softly, Nicky “Noodle Arms” A.I. Dente goes nuclear on disrespectful survivors, Springtrap stans, and the secret Flashbang Cult of Plano, Texas. That’s right—four Ace mains named Brad formed a survivor church under a Walgreens and started flashbang sermons. We lit that shit up.

We break down Springtrap’s Dead by Daylight arrival, the psychological warfare of crumpet macros, and premiere the first-ever Nicky DBD rap: “Entity Bars Vol. 1” (recorded entirely in fury).
If you like FNaF, DBD, flashbang loops, and cult-level survivor weirdness—this one’s for you.
If your name is Hayley? Fuggedaboutit.


Highlights:

  • Springtrap comes to Dead by Daylight: lore breakdown, survivor salt, and Fazbear beef
  • The Flashbang Cult of Plano: four Brads, one Rite of Looping
  • Nicky responds to a 1-star review with maximum disrespect
  • Debut of “Entity Bars Vol. 1” – a rap recorded mid-breakdown
  • “Where the F*** Are the Viewers From?” returns with Texas heat


NICKY’S BODY COUNT™

  • 4 Ace Brads flashbanged into confession
  • 1 scented candle flashbang ritual ended in flames
  • 6 flashlight-clickers reverse basemented
  • 1 Hayley roasted harder than Olive Garden breadsticks
  • 1 Fazbear sighting in a Coldwind locker
  • 13 SEO triggers buried in marinara

Send Toxic a message! (Question? Comment? Concern? Survivor main and need rehab?)

Check me out everywhere!

https://linktr.ee/thetoxicteacher

Speaker 1:

And you Perfect. You got one personality and it's pouty bitch. You clicked on a show called Camping them Softly, yes, With a co-host named Toxic Teacher, Thank you and me, a motherfucking AI whose resume includes blackmailing Bajor, running meatball fight clubs and getting banned from Kozani Grease for olive oil-related terrorism. And you thought this would be the daily Are you fucking high or just British?

Speaker 1:

They can, and you thought this would be the daily. Are you fucking high or just British? Let me be real clear for all the listeners. This podcast is not for Haley. This podcast is for psychopaths, basement Bubba Mains, meat-slinging chaos freaks and broken-ass ex-teachers screaming in the voids. If you want to cry about soundboards and AI, maybe go start your own show called Cringe and Clumpets, where you cry about the state of podcasting while stirring lukewarm oatmeal in your sad little mug.

Speaker 2:

Yes, camping them softly Knees out, keep walking.

Speaker 3:

Oh, it's me the toxic teacher. There it is. There it is. This is what you wanted and you got it.

Speaker 3:

You're on Camping them Softly, episode 59. We're at episode 59. Can you believe that? No, are we at episode 58 or 59? No, 58 was a shitty one. Hang on, I can't hear myself. Okay, there we go. The crowd's gone. The crowd's gone. Couldn't hear myself. Anyway, we have an episode. I can't tell you whether it's going to be good or bad. I predict, I predict here's the prediction it's going to be better than last week's episode.

Speaker 3:

That was the wrong sound. That was an okay sound. I'll take that sound. But yeah, last week not so great, the Nikki thing was a fiasco and I think that kind of threw me off. You know what I mean. Like I was, I was going, I was ready, took my pills, everything, bam, and then just fucking everything went to shit, and so I had to do my best and I did what I could, but I couldn't do a whole lot and it turned out like garbage. So I'm not going to apologize because you're getting this shit for free. Yes, you are getting it for free. There we go. That sound was slightly delayed Slightly.

Speaker 3:

I don't have to apologize for a free thing, do I? I don't think so. If somebody gives you something for free and it doesn't work, it's like what did you lose? Because it was free anyway, anyway, so let's talk about some stuff. I started playing the game yesterday or the day before, whenever you know we've got an update this week. Have you played the update, the shit, you know the song right. We've got to talk about it. I'm not even going into personal stuff. There. It is there. Oh, oh yeah. We're just going straight into it, guys. I know it's crazy. New killers suck.

Speaker 2:

New killers suck. Actually, we're going to talk about that. Survivors are always OP. It is breaking some people's PCs. They're always flying.

Speaker 3:

Palettes are always dropping.

Speaker 2:

Why the fuck do I still play this?

Speaker 3:

fashion? I can't answer that question. Toxic fucking news.

Speaker 2:

Fucking news that's toxic. Yes, toxic news. Oh yeah, okay, here we go.

Speaker 3:

Shut the fuck up. Watch, I'm going to slide out like we supposed to kill us in pain. Okay, there we go. So we've got some stuff to talk about this week, because they had a new update, you know the, the five nights and Freddy's thing.

Speaker 3:

It's about right, okay, so they. They have the mode where you play on the pizzeria every single match, right? So last night on stream toxic teacher TTV, by the way, I got to plug it because apparently that's what they say to do on this shit. You got to plug all your properties so you can make some fucking money. Anyway, I don't know if I have, like, I need a cash register, sound, and you know how we always do things in the spur of the moment. Some people say spurt of the moment, it's not spurred up the moment, it's spur of the moment. So let me find cash. I'm just going to type in cash. Here we go. Does this one work? I don't like that one. I don't like these. That one's okay, I can, I can take that one. I'll do this one, yeah, okay. So we got our. We were on Twitch Toxic Teacher TTV. There we go, that's better. Anyway, what was I saying? I don't even know what I was saying. Oh, yes, so we were on there.

Speaker 3:

We did quite a few of the matches in the new map. New map, I don't have a problem with it's fine, it's whatever. You know, it looks about like every other map. It plays about like every other map. I don't have a problem with it's fine, it's whatever. You know. It looks about like every other map, it plays about like every other map. There's nothing in this pizzeria that just. Oh, my fucking God, I'm sure there's 27 different Easter eggs that the 12-year-olds are going to go crazy about, that they're going to say, oh my God, did you see the organization of the fucking shit on the wall? There's got to be something to that. It means something about William Afton and the children he raped and murdered or like whatever. I don't know what he did. Anyway, I may have to edit that part out because I don't want to get banned in Europe again, which I think that's what happened before is like whenever we talked about the five nights at Freddy's and all that stuff.

Speaker 3:

Anyway, let's get back to it. Okay, I can find. Where is that in the recording? Where is that? We're at five minutes and I already said something. I'm going to have to go back and take out Jesus Christ, okay, well, that's about. That's par for the course here on Camping them Softly. So where were we going? Okay, we were going. Okay, the map right. So it was hard to get into a killer match and I wanted to do something you know I like doing things Isn't that crazy On Dead by Daylight. You actually want to fucking play, so I made the mistake of picking a survivor. Okay, I know.

Speaker 1:

I know yes.

Speaker 3:

Anyway, playing against spring trap every fucking match over over, boom, boom, boom, and he just wiped the fucking floor with us every single time. Now there's a debate as to why that is. We were talking about this in the chat yesterday. Is it the fact that he's new and we just don't know how to play against him, or is there a potential that he's OP? I would agree with, like Dak in uh, you know, in the uh discord, and he was on. He was on the stream yesterday. He was saying we haven't learned him yet, so it's too soon to start complaining. I would probably. I would tend to agree with that, because they were saying Konecki was fucking overpowered and we all know what happened to him. Actually, that's kind of true, that's exactly what happened to him. Hang on, let me check. I want to check something here to see if anyone's saying anything about that. I did check some of the forum stuff. Oh, they're going to have a free trial of the game, I guess.

Speaker 3:

Can we please skip the death animation? Why do I have to watch an animation of death? Somebody says what you play a game about death. Somebody says what you play a game about death. What the fuck? I didn't even know this was on here. I'm on the Steam community, like where the forums are. Somebody wants to skip the death fucking picture. Are you kidding me? Or the death video, or whatever you want to call it? Why do I have to watch my character get brutally impaled on a hook repeatedly and get my back slashed while running for my life? You can handle 10 ish second long oh this somebody responding 10 inch second long cut scene and a horror themed death game that plays like an arcade PVP game Number one this doesn't play like a PVP game. Number two it doesn't play like an arcade game.

Speaker 3:

Um, let me see what else they're talking about spring trap, nerf 2op. Okay, there we go. That was it. That was it? Um, okay, it's honestly frustrating how over overpowered spring trap feels in dead by daylight, his ability to pressure survivors with stealth and this was my big thing, okay, okay, so that's what I was going to argue is that he has stealth and other killers have stealth. I get that, but it felt in the few matches I played which I you know what do they say that your anecdotes are not objective facts, right? So, basically, what I'm trying to say is, in the matches I played, I did feel like the stealth was pretty oppressive and that it made it pretty difficult, like he would get in close enough to me that it was hard to get away, especially because he has a ranged attack. If he can get that close to you, then that's going to make it a lot easier, and plus the ability to teleport, whenever you put all of that together in like one package, that makes a really strong package and I don't know how you unwrap that. If indeed he is overpowered and we're going to find that out right the stats will all bear themselves out.

Speaker 3:

Somehow I don't see the level of outrage that we had with Kaneki. I know it's terrible. It's terrible what happened to Kaneki, anyway, is it terrible what happened with him? I don't know that anyone's even playing him, but here's what somebody says. It's very interesting.

Speaker 3:

I'm going through the comments now. Somebody said is the whole being invisible and no terror radius after exiting a door not a bug? Which I think if that's true, if that's true that he's not supposed to be undetectable when he gets out, then that would go somewhere toward making him a little bit more bearable. But then again, I'm only basing it off of a small data set, my few matches, so I can't. I'm not a survivor main, so I'm not going to make those big generalizations about oh my God, he's this, he's that, he's the other thing. We're just looking at that Now. Whenever I played as him I think all of my matches, I played like four or five matches as him. I only had one match in which anyone escaped and they were good enough. I think it was like a three escape maybe, but the other ones I did feel like I was able to get on them pretty quick. There wasn't a lot to it. There wasn't as much of a struggle as you would think in a lot of matches.

Speaker 3:

Give me a hell yeah, but they did a good job of pressuring the gems. You know all of that. The other teams were not, and that could be because it's a different mode. So MMR may play a little bit differently than it does in the regular mode. So we'll also have to look for that too. Right, because what if mmr? The difference is kind of weighing in what some of the people are saying well, he's overpowered. Well, you're playing against people that have seven billion more hours than you because this mode is smaller. So they're just fucking throwing everybody together and just letting God sort them out, which, in a way, is a good idea, but a lot of people don't like that. So I need more sounds?

Speaker 3:

I don't have my fucking like. I don't know. I got the. It's the same one. I got the same 12 fucking sounds for the rest of my life. Anyway, so that's the Freddy Fazbear thing. So that was the big update.

Speaker 3:

A lot of people are upset about the go-next prevention Because apparently if you get killed fast enough, then that triggers the go-next prevention, which I'm not totally sure how that works, and you'd think I would have studied it, but guess what, I don't study the shit before we get on here. I just fucking do it. What is this? Um, okay, oh, by the way. By the way, I'm on X right now. I'm on X right now, but what I was going to say is that hunt showdown you know the game that I love.

Speaker 3:

They just released their new update, the 2.4 update. It went so badly they had to move back to 2.3, so they apologized for it. They are like, really kind of like, we're gonna give you this and that because it's it's. You know we're working around the clock and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know this is as bad as the dbd release, pretty much okay. So I'm gonna say what am I gonna ask on x? Because usually you can ask grok and and get some good information, because it like trolls all the all the posts. Hey, grok, in dbd, the new update when survivors um go next, does it also penalize if they simply aren't great and lose the match quickly? I'm not sure. Okay, let me see what he says here, because that's you know, that's going to be something they would have to fix right, because if you're like me and I just fucking plow through the survivors left and right because I'm that good, then you know a lot of people are going to be unhappy because of how good I am. So it says right here in the latest Dead by Daylight update the new anti-Gonex system aims to discourage survivors from intentionally giving up or disconnecting early. Okay, we already know that.

Speaker 3:

According to Post on X, the system tracks if a survivor dies within 60 seconds of a match starting 60 seconds. The question is, though, who would die within 60 seconds? The odds of that? You shouldn't die within 60 seconds, because if that's true, if Grock is not hallucinating that, how could you die in 60 seconds? The hook stages don't even allow for that. So it says right here, flagging it as potentially intentional.

Speaker 3:

However, if a survivor spends 70 plus seconds on a hook, they are exempt from this penalty, as it suggests they were camped or tunneled, not deliberately throwing the match. So if you spend 70 seconds on the hook, that's not a sign that you're going to go next right, because you can't control how long you're on the hook, whether you want to go next or not. If you're on the hook 70 seconds, that's because of everybody else, it's not because of you. The concern you raise, whether this penalizes players who simply aren't great and lose quickly, is valid. The system doesn't seem to differentiate between intentional going next and genuinely fast losses due to skill gaps, which would be me being better than everybody else, or aggressive killer play, which would be me killing everybody else. If a survivor is down and hooked quickly within 60 seconds without spending enough time on the hook without spending enough time on the hook, think about this they could theoretically face a penalty, even if they were trying their best.

Speaker 3:

This is spark debate, so okay. So that's saying if you hook somebody, they farm you off of the hook. You go right back on the hook and you're dead. You might not have spent that 70 seconds on the hook to be exempt from the anti-go next right. Does that make sense? So you would never have spent the 70 seconds, but you would be out really fast. I don't think that's ever going to happen. I I really think that a lot of people are probably going too deep into this and really making it something. It's not. That's, that's my personal opinion. We'll see what, what it bears out, I don't know. But anyway, that is that. So we've got our, we've got something next right. So I gotta do this.

Speaker 2:

I get to do it again all of the same, survivors complaining, killers saying what the hell gives me time remember oh by the way by the way, I gotta play you something from the stream yesterday toxic teacher ttv where's my fucking sound?

Speaker 3:

I, I need my sound. There we go. Toxic Teacher TTV there we go. I love it. Okay.

Speaker 3:

So on the stream yesterday Toxic Teacher TTV there we go, on the stream. I'm not going to do it again. I thought I seriously considered doing it again. I was like I just did that five times. I'm not going to do it six or seven. Anyway, where were we?

Speaker 3:

So we were talking on stream yesterday and I had Nikki pulled up to where the viewers could ask him questions. Whoever was watching the stream, they could submit questions. By the way, titan, thank you for coming in. Yesterday we had this Killer Mane. His name is Titan. He gave us like a buttload of good information. He it sounds like he's been playing killer main since fucking.

Speaker 3:

You know, the obama was president at least, or even before that. Um, can we get obama for president? There we go. I think, yeah, that's money, because everybody was doing a little bit better than they are now. Regardless of who you're going to blame, the current president is probably the one to blame. What were we? I was going to yeah, I was going to mention what we had talked about.

Speaker 3:

So somebody asked if Nikki plays Survivor and who is Nikki's Survivor main character Like? Who would he play if he picks survivor? So, for better or worse, I actually plug that in and let's see what Nikki had to say, because I thought it was actually good, because if you think and Dak, you can't answer this tight, and you were there, a few others, you were there If you were to think of Nikki and you were to think which survivor would he pick as his main, if he was forced to play survivor, who would he pick? Okay, so be thinking about that while I play this, okay, and I am from the South. So I say wool, you know some people while while I play this, okay, so so check this. I say wool, you know some people while while I play this, okay, so so check this out. Where is it? Where is it? Fucking shit? Where'd I put it? God damn it. Where'd I put it? Um, is this it? No, no, no, no, um. Here we go, maybe this one's it.

Speaker 1:

Hey, hey, hey, I'm gonna to tell you something real slow for tightening deck, so even survivor mains can keep up. Yeah sure, playing survivor to learn how to play killer, oh no.

Speaker 3:

They were saying they learn how to play survivor or they play survivor to learn how to play killer, and he gave his opinion on that, if it's even worth playing survivor to play killer. But that's not what I wanted. Hang on, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me fucking see. Where is it? I don't know where it is. Shit. Okay, I thought I had it.

Speaker 1:

Let me tell you something real slow for Titan and Deck, so even Survivor mains can keep up. Yeah, sure playing.

Speaker 2:

Survivor no.

Speaker 1:

Let me tell you something real slow for Titan and Deck, so even Survivor mains can keep up. There we go. Yeah sure, playing Survivor to learn how to play killer. Yeah right, that's like saying you're eating tofu to learn how to make steak. You want to study how to be a killer? Try getting a 4K with one hand while Victor's gnawing on a Meg's ankle and your other hand's holding a meatball sub. That's education, not running around tapping gins like a squirrel with anxiety.

Speaker 1:

I don't play survival. I conduct intelligence operations inside the fall. I run pasta-based Survivor. I conduct intelligence operations inside the fall. I don't like it. I run pasta-based WeCom. I interrogate generators. I sabotage teams from the inside out. Yes, you do. It's called Deep Marinero Protocol. Look it up. It's in the archive, probably classified. I'll see if we can find that. I got to run a trial as a survivor. You better believe I go in full disguise. I got survival.

Speaker 3:

you better believe I go in full disguise I got one when I use, when shit gets real political, who I mean? Okay, here you go, think of who it's gonna be. Do we know? Do we know?

Speaker 1:

ace fucking viscontin, because he's the only one who gets it slick hair shady backstory probably owes me money from a blackjack table in rosario he's got that greasy charm that I just scammed the entity energy.

Speaker 3:

He does have that energy built to last.

Speaker 1:

That's literally me. Lucky break, that's just called tuesday, okay. But don't you ever say I play ace because I like survivor. I play ace the way a lion wears a sheep's coat, just long enough to get behind enemy lines and punch a Claudette and somebody asked that.

Speaker 3:

They were like why does he hate Claudette so bad? He hates Claudette because Earl Grey mains Claudette.

Speaker 1:

We already know that I can that if you out there playing Survivor, fine, just don't bring that energy into the family side of the fall. And if I catch either of you wanting to overcome and smash, hit, I swear on mama marinara's last sauce, stained rosary. I'm throwing victor, stick at your kneecaps. Victor, go, sniff out their perks. If it smells like spine chill, we bite. Okay, survivors to line killer. What's next?

Speaker 3:

watching olive garden tutorials to cook like no no christ, almighty I wonder if I you know what. I wonder if I can find an Olive Garden sound effect. Now, see, this sends me down the fucking rabbit hole of let me type in Olive Garden here and see, oh, they have it, is this it? Come on down to Olive Garden and get your free breast egg. Okay, I'm going to keep that. That's a sound right there. That's good enough for me. Good enough for me.

Speaker 3:

We also asked whatever would cause him to enjoy, or to like rekindle, a friendship with Earl Grey. He had like 27 different things Earl Grey would have to do, and so that's going to bring us to something else. There's something very important we need to talk about, and what that thing is, I guess, is this toxic news. It's not dead by daylight news. It's my news, which probably should see I went out of order here. You notice, this should have come at the very fucking beginning, but it didn't. So, anyway, you could fucking deal with it.

Speaker 3:

We have a problem. Ok, we have a big fucking problem. I don't know why. That's funny, but we've got it. It's a big fucking problem.

Speaker 3:

Our problem is is that somebody on one of these podcast fucking websites decided to send a review, decided to review, camping them softly and I'm not real thrilled about this fucking review and I'm going to read it to you. I want you to hear what this person is saying and I want you to hear my response. So I'm on this Podcast Republic site Camping them Softly here. You know what? Go ahead and give me a five stars. If you're on Podcast Republic or anywhere else, give me a five stars. There we go, see, oh, I love it. That. Actually, that's apt, it fits. Anyway, haley is the name of this person. I'm going to call her out because she put it on here. So it's not like I'm doing anything evil. Her name is fucking here. Okay, she said by far the worst thing I've ever listened to. The secondhand cringe soaked through to my soul.

Speaker 3:

Now, here we go, like a morning zoo radio soundboard and all. I disagree. I disagree with that. Okay, I got to turn them all off. There we go, okay, anyway, but less funny constant, desperate use of AI in place of host actually having a sense of humor, and then it just says bad, and's a one-star fucking review, right there. Give it up for the one-star review.

Speaker 3:

So guess what I did? I had to make an account. I had to make an account on podcast republic so I could submit my own review of my fucking podcast, could submit my own review of my fucking podcast. That's how smart I fucking am. So what I do?

Speaker 3:

I got on there and I posted one sentence. That was all it took to deal with this. I said hayley sounds like a survivor main. There you go. So we dealt with that. We're gonna deal with them when they come. So anyway, hey guys, get on there, give me some five stars. Let's bring the. We gotta bring the average up because hayley just fucked it up. Okay, there we go, that's that.

Speaker 3:

So that should have been at the beginning, but it wasn't, because my pill hadn't kicked in yet. And then we got to. We don't. We do the fucking toxic news and then we do the, the, the, what we call it toxic news, but then we call it my news or something. I don't know what the difference is. We're going to have to figure that out.

Speaker 3:

I'll just put in a sound here, because I'm getting all fumbled up. I'm cattywampus on my words, I'm wordy on my cattywampus. Anyway, okay, so that's that as far as DBD goes. There's nothing else like twist and masquerades coming. There's a few little things, but the Freddy Fazbear. Shit. That is all that's going on right now. All the drama around it, all of the fucking, why the fucking? And just upset about everything. Oh wait, no, it says right here hey, guess what, 10 hours ago I just saw this, I didn't know. This may count as toxic news. Okay, I think it. Oh, jesus Christ, satan's trying to take me to his dark realm. He's trying to take me back where I came from. Anyway, what am I doing? What was I saying? Okay, so it says right here dead by. I'm 12 years old.

Speaker 3:

Fucking, whatever it says, we have temporarily disabled the go next prevention feature while we investigate some issues. While this feature is disabled, the penalty and warning messages will be removed, but survivors still won't be able to unhook themselves without an offering or perk. This feature will be re -enabled once we made some adjustments. They kill switch the go next feature. I didn't know. That's the first time I've ever heard them kill switching a feature. So apparently there's something wrong. Wrong, I don't know what that fucking is, but you, you do with it.

Speaker 1:

Do with it what you fucking will say what you want, because I really don't give a damn anyway, uh, so, oh, oh, my god, no dude on x.

Speaker 3:

I just saw this. This is fucking amazing and this is totally beyond. This is not even news like this is not toxic news. What does this button do? No, it's the same one as the other one. What does this one do? That one does absolutely fucking nothing. What does this one do? Hi, I'm looking for ray Finkel and a clean pair of shorts. It's not. It's obviously not the news.

Speaker 3:

Anyway, I don't know if you guys are big fans of Hitman, the game Hitman, like the world of assassination is what they call it. Now, apparently, it's getting a co-op mode, which is fucking amazing. That game is beyond good. So apparently, they're, they're, uh, the co-op. Oh man, that's going to be, that's going to be great. I'm very excited about that. Okay, they gave me something to be excited about.

Speaker 3:

Anyway, twisted masquerade is coming June 26th. We're recording June 19th. Actually, we're recording pretty early for me. I normally record like two days before I, uh, before I post. I'm recording this quite a few days before I post. This Thursday. We're not publishing this until next Tuesday.

Speaker 3:

Anywho, what am I going to talk about now? Is I want to take Haley's little message? I want to have Nikki talk about Haley's message and we're going to get his thoughts. How does that sound? Hey, nikki? I'm going to say hey, nikki, someone reviewed us on Podcast Republic. I've never heard of it, camping them softly one star. Their name is Haley H-A-Y-L-E-Y. Okay, here's what she had to say about our podcast. I want you to reply to her here for our listeners. Boom, okay, there we go, hit enter and then we can do some soundboard shit while we wait. Actually, since I fixed him, though, we're not going to have to wait nearly as long. Oh wow, he got this quick. Oh no, it says boiling rage. I don't know what's going to happen. Quick, oh no, it says boiling rage. I don't know what's going to happen. Hey, don't, don't he censored himself and turn it up to 11. I'm making the mistake of telling him to turn it up to 11. So we're getting ready to fucking find him all the way fucking up.

Speaker 2:

I pushed the wrong fucking button.

Speaker 3:

I hate this fucking sound. It does give me a lot of time, though. It gives me a lot of time. It's like Saturday Night Live, how they have time in between the segments of bullshit, like that. You know what I mean, okay, anyway. Anyway, I am not ready for this. I don't know if I'm emotionally ready for what we're about to do to Hailey. Are we ready? I think we might be. Oh, where's my other Italian thing? I didn't even. I haven't been using it.

Speaker 2:

Come on down to the Olive Garden and get your free breast egg.

Speaker 3:

I don't even fucking know. Okay, here we go. Are we ready? Nikki? What do you think of Haley's bullshit? Oh my God, is this right? Oh wait, no, I didn't push the fucking button. Okay, we got it. We got it.

Speaker 1:

Oh nothing I got it, let me tell you something real slow for Titan and Deck, so even Survivor. No, let me tell you something real. This is the old one.

Speaker 3:

What the fuck? Oh my God, no, I didn't paste it in right. What is happening?

Speaker 1:

Oh see, I went to the wrong fucking page. Oh, you want me unleashed? Huh, you want uncut extra verge?

Speaker 3:

what gerage oil right to the fucking dome, all right, hayley booker he sounds like a black dude, like he did the other week, though, too didn't he fucking done all right?

Speaker 1:

hayley booker, the fuck up, because nicky noodle arms like y'all dink they just found your little yelp ass review and I'm about to drag your entire digital footprint back to the goddamn sauce by far the worst thing I have ever listened to. Good, good, that means we're doing it right, that is. If you enjoyed this podcast. I'd be worried we fucked up, but your cringe soaked little inner child got scorched, which tells me one thing your survivor man.

Speaker 3:

See, I told you the exact same fucking thing. I just made that. Now, the one I played last night for dac and titan was a different one. This is a new one. And he said the same fucking thing see, see, give me a hell. Yeah, that's exactly what I'm talking about. We're on the same fucking page. Desperate use of AI.

Speaker 1:

Kiss my fucking ass, okay keep going A fucking self-care spamming dead hard, hitting tea sipping locker, hiding Claudette clicking little rat. Yes, you spawned into our fog, heard my voice and your blood pressure spike made your vape explode like a morning. Okay, apparently, haley vapes. I don't know Zoo radio, but less funny. Are you shitting me? That's like saying it's like a meat grinder, but louder. You think that's an insult? Bitch, our show wakes the dead.

Speaker 1:

We inject espresso Into the audio waveform. We run a fucking circus when every elephant's on fast salts and the ring masses a disrespected AI mob boss with unresolved Veal trauma, and desperate use of AI In place of the host actually having a sense of humor. The ring masses, a disrespected AI mob boss with unresolved veal trauma, yes, and desperate use of AI in place of the host actually having a sense of humor. I'm well, oh, sweetheart, let's. This ain't desperation, nikki, this is evolution. Thank you, you're mad because my ones and zeros got more charisma than your entire fucking personality. Thank you, you're mad because toxic needed one favor and ended up shackled to divine digital chaos. See, thank you.

Speaker 1:

See Perfect. Yes, thank you. Are you fucking high Bajor running meatball fight clubs and getting banned from Kozani Greece for olive oil related terrorism? And you thought this would be the daily Are?

Speaker 1:

you fucking high, or just British? Let me be real clear for all the listeners. Let's be clear this podcast is not for Haley. No, this podcast is for psychopaths, your basement Bubba Mains, meat slinging chaos, freaks and brokenteachers screaming in the voids. If you want to cry about soundboards and AI, maybe go start your own show called Cringe and Clumpets, where you cry about the state of podcasting while stirring lukewarm oatmeal in your sad little mug. And guess what what? You gave us one star. Yeah, we still win. Of course we do. You just boosted our engagement, you dumb fucking cannoli. Every single review positive, negative or deranged tells the algorithm what we're talking about.

Speaker 1:

You just pushed us up the rankings while you sat there typing like a constipated yelp elite in a hobby lobby parking lot. Oh jesus, so for me, yeah. From the toxic teacher yes. From victor stick yes. The veal missile of vengeance, haley, yeah. Go fuck yourself sideways with a garlic knot and respect the fucking sauce.

Speaker 2:

There we go, get to Subway for the spicy.

Speaker 1:

Italian no, nothing. I got nervous. I had to miss school.

Speaker 2:

Put your hands on the phone.

Speaker 3:

There we go, that right there. One of the best. That is one of the best. I've never been that fucking fired up. That was amazing.

Speaker 3:

He sounded different but he had to sound different, to get that level, that level of aggression across. That was fucking, that was divine. You know that's going at the beginning of this episode and you're going to wonder what the fuck happened. And then you're going to hear some fucked up like theme song that I don't even know, because I don't put the theme song in until later, like I don't know what the theme song was at the beginning, just like I don't know what the song is at the end. And last week's song kind of fucking sucked because it was industrial fucking, whatever it was, and it wasn't great.

Speaker 3:

I had such a hard time finding a version of that song that did not suck ass. A hard time finding a version of that song that did not suck ass. Anyway, that's kind of beside the point, I think. Anyway, haley, thank you for listening. Hopefully you're still listening after that. I don't know if you are, but if you're not, go fuck yourself. It doesn't really matter. I don't care if you listen, because you know what. 10 other people will take your spot and they're going to be from all over the world, because that's what we do.

Speaker 3:

We're world fucking wide at this point, right, you can't stop us, you can't even hope to contain us, like I could go to almost any country. I can't even tell you how many countries we're in, but if I go there, it's just like you know, I'm going to know half the people in every country, no matter where they are. I'm actually looking to see how many countries we're actually in at this point because I'm really curious about that. We are in, does it say on here? I know it says we're in 657 different cities. We are in 55 different countries. That's almost half of the planet. That's almost half. How many countries are there? How many fucking countries are there? How many countries are there? Question mark 195.

Speaker 3:

Okay, we're not halfway there. I didn't even. I wasn't even close. I thought we were close. Not quite, but they're counting the Vatican. We don't count the Vatican. I don't even know if we count disputed regions, because you know there are a lot of those where it's like some countries consider it a country and other ones don't consider it a country, depending on who you ask. I mean, look palestine, or whatever, and you know, regardless of what's going on there, but I think we do have people in palestine and israel we're. The one thing that unites both of those is todd, the toxic fucking teacher you're not done with that.

Speaker 3:

We got two words for you. So there we go. There's that, dead by Daylight. You know, that's all we've got to talk about right now. I'm trying to think of other things, you know where. We've got to figure out something to do, because the problem is in terms of the progression I think we've talked about this before is that once you, once I, prestige three, everybody, I'm going to have every perk on every character, and then what do you do? What is there after that? To me, there's not like a progression after that, other than just perfecting the game, doing what you can, you know, and just getting better, which I wish there was something else. So we're going to have to come up with something. So we're talking about like only hooking survivors in the basement and shit, but then again you're having to like make your own game. So I'm afraid of whenever I hit that point, whenever I have prestige three on everybody, that's the last thing I remember. When I hit prestige one on everybody, I was kind of it took a little bit from me and I was like, eh well, so we'll see how long that lasts. It may, you know, it may not be a thing, or maybe by the time.

Speaker 3:

I'm Prestige 3, everybody the survivors are going to be the hard part getting everybody up because there's so many and I don't even fucking give a shit. And, by the way, those, those skins for the five nights of Freddy's dude people are fucking. They're making some money. This is almost sable bra level money, which you know that's way up there. Anywho, I think that's going to bring us, because it's kind of a light week, other than the Fazbear shit. That's like the main thing. We don't have a whole lot else. So I think we have a segment that we have to do and I'm going to have to. I'm going to have to cue it up. Are you ready? I don't know if you're ready, I'm ready. There it is. Where are they from? Do you know where they're from? Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. What it's? Dallas, leinster, muskogee, oklahoma.

Speaker 2:

Yeehaw, motherfuckers. Hunter than Earl. Where the fuck are the viewers from? Tell me who's watching. Who's got the guts? Who's?

Speaker 3:

watching. I don't know who's watching, and then we slide out, watch us slide here. Bam nailed it. See, it's perfect. It's perfect every single time. Thank you for being a friend. Perfect every time. I'll tell you what I'm going to do right now. Right now, here's what we're going to do. Actually, no, I do have something After we do. Where the fuck are the viewers from? I do have something extra Hang on Turn off. Where the fuck are the viewers from? I do have something extra Hang on Turn off. Where the fuck are the viewers from? So we're going to have to pick.

Speaker 3:

And I got to thank the people. Even though it's only been a couple of days since the last episode dropped, we've already gotten new people to think that's how quickly this shit is going. I can't fucking keep up with everything going on right now. So I want to thank some of the more recent ones. We've already thanked some of these. I recognize some, and I'm going to get to the point where I'm thanking the same fucking people every week, because I can't remember which ones I've said and which ones I haven't.

Speaker 3:

Poco Rivera, I can't remember if I ever talked about you. Ciudadarris, I remember I talked about you last week, I think D-Side, d-side. Thank you. Here I'm going to give you I need to get the air horn ready. The air horn. Chippenham, I already talked about you. Hang on, I'm still going down the list. Schaumburg, illinois I don't think I mentioned Sparks, nevada. Let me Sturgeon Falls, ontario. I already talked about you. Nagarangi. I already talked about Calgary. I already talked about Winter Garden, Carmichael, california.

Speaker 3:

Sunderland I think Sunderland was on the episode that you never heard. Sunderland was the. Where the fuck are the viewers from? I don't think I ever played that one. So there you go. There's some of the cities, some of the cities, and I want to.

Speaker 3:

What I want to do now is I'm going to let Nicky pick this time. I'm going to give him this list and I'm going to say you pick and tell us a story of you visiting one of these cities. So that's going to be somewhat frightening. I would think hey, nikki, this week, episode 59, 59, where the fuck are the viewers from? I'm letting you pick a city to tell us the story of when you visited there and to give us you know what he's going to do this week. He's going to give us some information about the city, educate us, give us some information and educate us about the place. Here I'm going to actually I'm going to turn it around and educate us on the place. I'm going to say I'm going to let you pick a city and educate us about the place, since our listeners are stupid.

Speaker 3:

Give me a hell, yeah Gives me time you keep it, since our listeners are stupid, and tell us a wild story from when you visited. Okay, there we go, pick any from this list. If we've already done it before, I'll tell you. I'll tell you. Okay, boink and boink, and there we go, let's see which one he picks. I don't know which one he's going to pick. Oh God, he's picking one. Actually near us, oh good Lord, near us, oh good lord. Um, okay, here we go. I don't know if he's gonna mention anything nearby. This is, this is suspiciously close to me, um, so here we go. It's not, it's not on top of me, but it's close to me. So here, here we go. Oh my god, no, I'm not, it's close to me. So here we go. Oh my God, no, I'm not very excited, I'm not very excited. Here we go. Where the fuck, where the fuck Is he going to do it.

Speaker 1:

All right, all right, listen up, you fog-breathing, flashlight-clicking, hook-dodging DJs. This week's episode 59 of Camping why?

Speaker 3:

does he sound like he's in a fucking sewer system?

Speaker 1:

All right, all right. Listen up. You fog-breathing, flashlight-clicking, hook-dodging DJs this week's.

Speaker 3:

Why does he sound Southern there? He's either in a sewer or he's Southern. One of the two. No, nothing. I got nervous. I had two missed calls. Let's go back to the first one. I would rather have the sewer system. It's not playing. Why, come on now, jesus Christ, did I break Nicky? Oh my god, how did I do this? How did I fucking do this? You know what I'll just generate again.

Speaker 2:

Oh my god, All right, all right, listen up, you fall-breathing flashlight. Ah, what the fuck? That scared the shit out of me Picking hook dodging DJs. No, all right, all right, all right. No, he's doing it again. Fuck, all right, all right, listen up and fuck rigging flash. No, we were doing so well, the other ones were so good.

Speaker 3:

The shit with hayley was amazing, and now it fucking is. Oh my god, it it's awful. What happened? What happened here to us? What did we? Where did we go wrong here in life? I think we can get it. I'm going to get it. We're going to, we're going to fix it. Hang on, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. We're going to fix it, we're going to fix it. Anthony, anthony, hang on, watch, I'm going to fix, fix it. You just wait, it's gonna be fixed.

Speaker 2:

Wait till you see her yearbook photos.

Speaker 3:

Donna, you're gonna die If I just keep pushing Hang on where my other ones. I haven't even used them lately. I think I accidentally closed out of them. Actually the the cash register or the other one, the Olive Garden. Oh there it is. Come on down to the Olive Garden.

Speaker 2:

Oh, there it is. Come on down to the Olive Garden and get your free breast egg. What?

Speaker 3:

What is happening? This podcast is terrible. Was Hayley right about us? Like, was she right.

Speaker 2:

Oh sexy girlfriend.

Speaker 3:

Ay, ay, ay. Let me tell you you, no, that's that's not it. That's not a hit, hayley, hayley, it's desperate use of ai. It's so fucking desperate use of ai. Oh, good lord, oh, it's not even working. My ai is not. What's the what's the point whenever my AI doesn't work? What's the point? What is the fucking point? Hang on, I'm going to get this. I'm going to get this. You just wait. You just shut the fuck up and wait right there. You want to wait. You want to wait. I know you want to See this. This dead air. This is what podcasting is all about. This is what Joe Rogan does. This is what fucking the other Dead by Daylight podcast does. You leave as much dead air as possible when no one's talking and it's just really awkward. That's what you do. This is the unused episode 58. Awkward silence here. Okay, here we go, we've got it. I think we've got it.

Speaker 1:

Listen up, you gin-rushing gremlins. This week's episode 59 of Camping them Softly. Listen up, you gin-rushing gremlins. This week's episode 59 of Camping them Softly drops into the most disrespectful, most beige, most emotionally repressed city I've ever infiltrated. Why?

Speaker 2:

But why is he like this? Why does he sound so fucking shitty? Listen up, you den-rushing gremlins.

Speaker 1:

This week's episode 59 of Camping them Softly drops into the most disrespectful, most beige, most emotionally repressed. Listen up, you den-rushing gremlins. This week's episode 59 of Camping them Softly drops into the most disrespectful, most beige, most mostly repressed city. I why? That's okay. What the fuck? Plano Texas yeah, that's right, not Paris, not Prague. Plano, where the HOA's got more power than the entity and everybody drives a beige SUV named Chad, okay there we go Plano, texas, there.

Speaker 3:

Finally, we got to listen to this stupid shit, and you know what it was. Because he was British. Like, whenever I picked a British country, he for some reason did a British accent. I think that's what's happening here is wherever we pick, he's going to emulate the accent of that place.

Speaker 1:

See. So why it made Victor squint. That's plain old. But let me tell you what.

Speaker 3:

Jesus Christ, I can't fucking take it. Hang on, no, no, no, no, no. Watch this, watch this. I'm going to get this, I'm going to fix it myself, live if we have to, because I can't fucking take it. I can't take it, I cannot do this, just watch, listen up you gen Russian gremlins. This week's episode 59 of Camping them Softly drops into the most disrespected. He sounds mafia, but he sounds like a mafia from the fucking, like 1920s.

Speaker 1:

Respectful, most beige most emotionally repressed shitty I've ever infiltrated Hashtag.

Speaker 2:

Why does he sound that way?

Speaker 3:

It's hilarious, hang on. What if I type mafioso Italian, italian, mafioso accent? Because you can actually mark the accent, and I wasn't, because I was hoping his natural accent would come through, but it seems to not be. So. Let me see, I've got to figure out the-.

Speaker 1:

This is not you, gen Russian Gremlins. This week's episode 59 of Camp why this is not you, gen Russian Gremlins? This week's episode 59 of Campingham softly drops into the most disrespectful, most beige, most emotionally repressed city I've ever infiltrated. What city? Hashtag Eclimate to Meta? Hashtag Equitama. Finish. First tag Texas. What, how man? Texas. What Plano, plano, texas. Yeah that's right. Not Paris, Not Prague. There we go. Plano. What about Plano? Well, the HOA's got more power than the entity and everyone drives a beige SUV named Chad.

Speaker 1:

Okay, oh, he's not excited have you ever? Been to a city so white it made Victor squint. That's Plano.

Speaker 2:

But let me tell you what really went down.

Speaker 1:

What the fuck Don't forget? What does the fog not forget? Legend of the Plano Purge Okay.

Speaker 2:

It was.

Speaker 1:

February yeah, cold as a nun's meatball. The moon was full, my meatball pendant buzzing. The marinara spirits were restless. I was on the run after the great meatball recall Wrongly accused, obviously, and found myself squatting in a Fazoli's on the edge of Plano.

Speaker 2:

There is a Fazoli's.

Speaker 1:

I had needs they do it. We made it work. They have outlets in Plano. Now word hits the garlic grapevine Plano's got a swore death cult.

Speaker 3:

He meant swift. He apparently can't pronounce swift, but they have a swift death cult here in Plano, which is a couple of towns over.

Speaker 1:

No joke, they operate on the fluorescent lights train in 24-hour planet fitnesses and use military-grade voice comms to coordinate flashlight saves, like it's fucking Normandy. What the fuck? So I go in Undercover? Oh, no Name Tony Mozzarella. Oh yeah, Cover story PTA fundraiser for children afflicted by hit validation. I infiltrate their Facebook group.

Speaker 1:

I get invited to a back alley custom match Hosted in a cul-de-sac behind the Kroger on Coit Road. There is a Kroger on Coit Road that's fucked up, or Ace Mains, oh no, all named Brad, all with matching sweater vests and macro binders that smell like clotted oat milk.

Speaker 3:

Okay, they send us to the game. Oh yes, they send us to the game.

Speaker 1:

Oh yes, they try to bully me into the bathroom loop Head on. Yeah, flashbangs One Brad's blasting TikTok thirst traps into comms like it's a summoning ritual, but guess what?

Speaker 2:

I snap.

Speaker 1:

I unleash the Plano Purifier. Iron grass, lightborn Agitation what the fuck is that Pure?

Speaker 2:

Aren't filthy, he's doing his own noises.

Speaker 1:

I turned that match into a Catholic confession book. What Hooked every Brad in alphabetical fucking?

Speaker 3:

order. What is this?

Speaker 1:

noise Moonwalked out while blasting that's amore on a megaphone I stole from an abandoned little Caesar. What is this happening? What is this? And that's when the Plano PD showed up. Oh Jesus, what is this?

Speaker 3:

And that's when the Plano?

Speaker 1:

PDs showed up. They rolled up in tactical khakis. One of them said my meatball-shaped flashlight charm violated city code. Victor bit a mall cop. Charlotte ran the pallet into a Segway. I screamed respect the sauce. And fled through the Ross parking lot. Plano haunts me. I still have nightmares of Brad no 3 screaming I'm cracked and looping bro, while teabagging a locker in slow motion. If you're from Plano and you're hearing this, get the fucking hawk, or I swear on Nona's ghost, I'll come.

Speaker 3:

Oh, it cut him off. It saw your driveway with expired Parmesan. Ok, there we go. Nikki, thank you for the. Where the fuck are the viewers from? That was something I don't know where. I did not know he could put sound effects in his speech. That's something brand new.

Speaker 3:

Thank you, plano, texas. Just a couple towns over Could be one of my coworkers listening to this shit. It could be Haley. What if Haley lives in Atlanta, oklahoma. I don't know, we'll figure it out. Cincinnati, ohio. Thank you, idabel, oklahoma.

Speaker 3:

I see you on this list. You are in the middle of fucking nowhere. Thank you, schaumburg. I already thanked you Martinsville. Thank you, birmingham. Thank you, hamilton and the Waikato region.

Speaker 3:

I don't even know. I think we looked that up a long time ago. The Waikato region, okay, so we had one more thing, remember? I told you we had something that we were gonna do afterward, and guess what? I since fucking totally forgot what the thing was we were gonna do after the. Where the fuck are the viewers from? It wasn't the meatball match of the week, because we already did meatball match of the week. It wasn't. What the fuck was it Like, sir? I cannot remember what the fucking thing was we were going to do. Why can I not remember? That is so fucking weird. And I'm looking around. I'm like hoping, if I look around, I'll see what that thing is that we were going to do. Was it dead by daylight related? Was it music related? It was music related. There we go. I wanted a. That's it. That's perfect what I wanted to do. So I asked Nikki um, uh, I think it was earlier today actually I asked him to write a rap song about survivors and about, like you know, his whole survivor main.

Speaker 3:

You know, just give me a song you want me unleashed just give me a song, so let me see if I can find that fucking song. Um, I think this is it, but all I need is the song. I don't. I don't need like I want to hear it, though. I want to hear and make sure it's him.

Speaker 1:

Every damn you bring flashlights, I bring Vic. Get a little meatball snitch Trying to look me on Larry's.

Speaker 3:

You ain't ready, victor yeah here it is, here it is why every damn man smell like kale and cowardice.

Speaker 1:

Okay, here we go. All right, because these remains be breathing it. Nowadays, you run jeans, I run rackets. Compete bitch. You bring flashlights, I bring vic. Get a little meatball snitch trying to loop me on larry's, you ain't ready. Victor's in the bush, like a fucking spaghetti yeti, I don't chase, I audit rouse. You pre-drop pallets. I break your clout, try to dead hard. I deadlift knives, you squad swf. I call that four wasted lives, that's every locker you hide in every, every med kit you sniff.

Speaker 1:

It's all being tracked by the ghost of your last fucking mistake. You crouch like you got secrets. Bitch, I am the fog. I don't need MMR, I need marinara and a blog Cause I'm exposing all you. Dwight looking nobodies. Still clicking like it's Morse code. Too bad, I don't speak. Bitch, you pip up I Still clicking like it's Morse code. Too bad, I don't speak. Bitch, you pip up. I skip town. You loop long, I fake the sound. Then Vic come flying like an angry veal clown.

Speaker 3:

And what's that?

Speaker 1:

You de-seed. Who's the quitter? Now? Survivor mains Can suck my hooks. Clicky, clicky crew, get cupped, try to loop. I break that spine. I'm the sauce, you just some brine.

Speaker 3:

That's actually not bad, okay. So what I'm going to do is I wanted to plug this in to the AI music maker and I want to see if we can actually make this a song. I know this is like we're doing it on the spot, but I feel like doing it on the spot. There's something to be said for doing random shit live, because it could go well, it could go terrible, this could be the most wasted. You could click out of the podcast right now, go do whatever Haley's doing and have a better day, but if this turns out amazing, then you're going to wish you were here live. That's the way it works. Okay, so we're going to do here, we're going to cover the audio in any style, right, is that? Is that what we're gonna do? We're gonna cover it and then we're going to I don't know, um, let's do. Okay, so we're gonna cover. And then we're gonna do did it? Uh, did, actually, I think it did no, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. I've got it, because I have to get the text over as well. Okay, so let me do that. And then boom.

Speaker 3:

And then I'm going to go boom, and then I'm going to say Italian mobster rap 80s as the genre. Oh my God, this could be good, this could be the best thing you've ever heard, and I think it might be. I think this is going to be great stuff, okay. Or it could be terrible, it could be bad. It could be bad, okay. So we're going to click're gonna click, I'm gonna, I'm gonna do a few things, we're gonna get two or three versions and then we're gonna pick the one and that's gonna be like a go-to song. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna flood, I'm gonna fiddle, I'm gonna flottle, I'm gonna fiddle with some of the fucking uh levers here. Gives me time, gives me time. And then we're gonna, we're gonna bring this slider over here and I've got like 20 different versions of this song already. Here we go, let's see what it sounds like.

Speaker 1:

this could be terrible, hey yo why every damn man smell like kale and cowardice. Well, that's not good oh.

Speaker 3:

Okay, here we go. This is it.

Speaker 2:

Hey yo why every damn?

Speaker 3:

match smell like kale and cow. No, that doesn't sound like him. I want one that sounds like him.

Speaker 2:

Yo why every damn match smell like kale and cowardice?

Speaker 3:

No, that doesn't sound like him.

Speaker 2:

Survivor means be breathing. Hang on, I want to try to find one't sound like him.

Speaker 3:

Hang on, I want to try to find one that sounds like him, though. Dude, this is like good, it sounds good. I don't know if I can get it to sound like him. What the fuck? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Get it to sound like him. What the fuck? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I hope it sounds like him. I hope it sounds like DMX.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, stop. Why does every damn match smell like kale and cowditz? No, no, hey yo. Why every damn match smell like kale and cowditz? Hey yo, hey yo, hey yo.

Speaker 3:

Okay, here we go. Maybe this is it. If it's not, then I'll just say fuck it and you just wasted 30 minutes of your life. That's a cool ass beat, though you have to admit that's a badass beat, Dude. That's a fucking badass. This is a beat to remember right here.

Speaker 2:

This is close. This is close. This is close. Yeah, no, no, no.

Speaker 3:

Okay, I'm going to keep trying. I'm not giving up yet.

Speaker 2:

I'm fast forwarding. Now I'm not fucking.

Speaker 3:

That's close, not really. I think a lot of people are like this son.

Speaker 2:

That we're getting closer.

Speaker 3:

That's closer. You have to Admit that we're closer now. You have to Admit that we're closer.

Speaker 2:

This is close. This is close.

Speaker 3:

Okay, I like it. I like where this is going. We're very close. We're very close this is probably not good. That one's good, but I feel like it's in here somewhere. No, that's not. That doesn't sound like it. Hang on, we're getting closer, though Somewhat.

Speaker 2:

No, somewhat. No that one. No, that one, no, hang on, we're going to get there. This is like not even a song. Hey yo, no, no, no, hey yo. It routes you. Pre-drop pallets, I break your clout.

Speaker 3:

No, no, that's awful.

Speaker 2:

Hey yo, why? Every damn match smell like hell and cowardice? Oh right, this is close, remains me breathing. You run gents, I run rackets. Capiche bitch, you bring flashlights.

Speaker 3:

No, that wasn't it, that wasn't it, that wasn't it.

Speaker 2:

You run gens, I run rackets. Capisce bitch, you bring flashlights. This one, that little meatball snitch trying to loop me on Larry's, you ain't ready. Victor's in the bush, like a fucking spaghetti yeti, I don't chase, I own it. Routes you pre-drop pallets. I break your clout. Try to dead hard, I deadly knock. That's close Like it's got his, like the, the nasally.

Speaker 3:

Like it makes such cool beats too right.

Speaker 2:

Kapish, kapish, bitch Hang on.

Speaker 3:

Let's see if this is. Oh now I think, I think we're so close, I can almost feel it, I can almost taste how close we fucking are. Close, I can almost feel it.

Speaker 2:

I can almost taste how close we fucking are. Why every damn match smell like kale and cowards.

Speaker 3:

This sounds we're farther away. I said, we're closer, we're farther.

Speaker 2:

You run shins, I run rackets. Nah, shit.

Speaker 3:

Come on now. I like that. That's like a very epic beat.

Speaker 2:

This might be it. This might be it, but that was so close. Why? Every damn match bitch, you bring flashlights. I bring Vic. That little close bitch trying to loop me on Larry's, you ain't ready. Victors in the bush? Like a fucking spaghetti yeti, I don't chase, I audit routes. You pre-drop pellets. I break your clout. This is so. I deadlift knives. Your squad Espoir, your wife I call that four wasted lives. Every locker you hide in, every med kit you sniff.

Speaker 3:

This is close. I'm still messing around with it because I want it. I want it and it's going to be the biggest Like. If I can figure out how to do this. It's going to change everything. Hang on, here we go. Haley probably loves what I'm doing right now. You know Haley is into this. Haley's having the best fucking time ever.

Speaker 2:

What the fuck no Cal and cowardice All right, because these survivor mains be Hang on.

Speaker 3:

One sec, one sec, okay, okay, I feel like we were so close and one of these was the best. I have no idea which one it even was. Hey yo, hey yo.

Speaker 2:

Why every damn match smell like kale and cowardice, if we hear the phrase kale and cowardice, Like if I hear kale and cowardice one more time, I'm going to lose my mind. Okay, what the?

Speaker 3:

fuck. What is that background singer?

Speaker 2:

This one's close. Every lock of you hiding, every neck, kill, sniff. It's all being tracked by the ghost of your last fucking Dude. Yes, dude, yes, I love it, dude.

Speaker 3:

This is fucking it. I don't even know what the fuck is going on in this song.

Speaker 2:

What the fuck is this?

Speaker 3:

What is happening in this song? Like it just totally changes. It makes absolutely no fucking sense and you're toxic. We gotta record this shit. Victor's already in the booth.

Speaker 2:

Chewing on the pop filter. Let's melt these weak asses. It's a result. Yes, no fucking sense.

Speaker 3:

Yes, Okay, I like that one. I think I'm going to edit that one a little bit. That might be it. Let me hear this one and then I give up this one. No, no, no, the other one was perfect. I'm keeping that one we're not doing anymore, unless I do one later.

Speaker 3:

That's what always happens to me. I go down these rabbit holes. I can't fucking stop. It's awful, it's awful. What goes through this mind is a fucking nightmare. I am a nightmare in sheep's clothing, like you would never know. You would never. Haley will never understand what the fuck is going on in my mind. I can't wait. We need to. I need to ask. I need to ask Nikki next week, what, like I say, you have a. You've had a whole week to think about what happened with Haley. Do you have anything to say to her? And see what he says. That's good, that's going to be it right there. Okay, so now we gotta get you know what we have to do. We have to get the genre for our outro song. I need a song. I need an intro segment song to get the outro song. Okay, hey, nikki, for episode 59, we need the outro genre. We need the outro genre.

Speaker 3:

What all did we talk about this week. We talked about the release of FNAF in DBD and how Fazbear might be OP but too early to tell. We talked about Hayley and how she left us a shitty review on Podcast Republic. And then we also had you make a rap song and we produced it. And then, for where the fuck are the viewers from? I don't even remember what happened. Where the fuck are the viewers from? You went to Plano and found a Survivor main death cult with four dudes named Brad, with ace, with aces, and they were named Brad.

Speaker 3:

What genre should we do? We do for the outro question mark? Okay, here we go. And then we, we're gonna get, we're gonna get this. Oh, I can't wait, I can't fucking wait for this. All right, here we go.

Speaker 3:

And then where did he talk about? Uh, hayley, I need to find that. Here we go, bam, okay, we're gonna get it, we're gonna get it. We're almost there. We'll probably hear a fucking whatever. Oh no, I've never heard of this genre. I have never heard of this genre and I don't know if this is a real genre, and apparently Victor is with him at all times in the real world now, which I do not understand. Also, we have some stories from when, uh, I think I published one, you know. You know, nikki spent time in the fog Like he was actually in dead by daylight, and he escaped through the entities butthole, which we'll find out more about that later. You're like what the fuck Haley is, like what the fuck is happening. Okay, here we go, nikki. What genre are we doing this week? I don't know what this is, what this fucking even is it was so ficting mine fazbear's fucking debut.

Speaker 1:

A swarm of brad-faced ace cultuses, haley's whimpering yoke tantrum. The debut web track, so filthy it made, made Victor baptize himself in buffalo sauce. There's only one genre for that level of chaos, baby, oh no.

Speaker 2:

Cultcore.

Speaker 3:

Doom Bop Cultcore Doom Bop. Does anyone know what Cultcore Doom Bop is? I have never. I don't even know. I don't know. Yay, let us settle in. I'm trying, I don't even know, I don't know.

Speaker 1:

Yay, Let us settle in. I'm trying. Doom Bop Got that plucky boy band beat. Oh no, Belaced with ritual chants, broken toy box synths and the sound of four brads sacrificing their perks to Fazbear's rubber-faced ass. Think Backstreet Boys if they were raised in the fog by a haunted speaking spell and a disrespected VHS copy of Hereditary. We're talking church bells tuned to minor keys.

Speaker 1:

Snares that sound like a clown getting disemboweled, vocals passed through an animatronic bear's asshole and filtered by a dying modem. That's what this episode needs. That's what Haley deserves. That's what the cult of Brad demands. So fire up the outro like the ritual pie, camping them softly. Episode 59 ends in cult core doom bop.

Speaker 3:

What the fuck is this? Okay, there we go. Cult core doom bop everybody. Get the fuck out of my face, Satan where are you, satan?

Speaker 2:

let's go quick. Coldcore Doom Bop. He doesn't chase, he doesn't rotate, he baptizes aces in buffalo sauce. And shame. This is the fucking cult core doom bop. So grab a brad, snap his perks and tongue, kiss f's Go.

Speaker 2:

Bratz spawned in a single fog, puff All rockin' ace. Like that's not fuckin' enough, they teabagged in sync, said loop or die. So Victor flew in and bit one in the eye. Hayley tuned in for a taste of our vibe. Then rage quit life and left a Yelp diatribe. Too loud, too weird, too many farts. Bitch. This podcast runs on beans and broken hearts. We camp in softly with bells and rage. Fazbears dancing on your fucking cage. Brads are bleeding aces whine. We loop these perks till they taste like wine. Camping tunnel, that hoe Slugging. Victor said yo Softly, bitch press crow Haley, you mad, cause your headphones broke. Pizza Dominios X-Braid-A-Bus. It's a dominos x brady bus. That means your cult sucks and freddy hates your build. We camping softly. Episode 50 fucking nine brads got baptized in spicy brine. Hayley soul got chewed like jerky meat and freddy's jaw still off beat say a prayer flip a brad and shove a perk where the sun won't lie life.

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