104 - Dealing with the Last 10%: The 'Little Bits' That Stop You Feeling Done

Summary

In this episode of Decluttering Untangled, Heather Tingle discusses the often-overlooked challenge of dealing with leftover bits after decluttering. She emphasises the emotional weight these items carry and the decision-making paralysis they can cause. Heather provides practical strategies for managing these leftover items, encouraging listeners to approach them as separate projects and to give themselves grace in the process. The episode concludes with a reminder that it's okay to have a designated space for miscellaneous items, and that tackling these bits can lead to a greater sense of accomplishment and clarity in one's living space.

Chapters

00:00
Introduction and Overview of Decluttering Challenges

02:42
Understanding the Leftover Bits in Decluttering

05:48
The Emotional Weight of Decision-Making

08:41
Strategies for Managing Leftover Items

11:21
Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Transcript

Heather Tingle (00:01.144)
Hello, untanglers and welcome back to another episode of Decluttering Untangled with me, your host, Heather Tingle. Now, before we start, there's two things I want to say. First of all, I have a cold. So apologies if this is not the clearest voice you've ever heard from me. And there may be a few coughs, but I'll try and delete them out if I can. And secondly, thank you so, so much for all your messages from last week's podcast. It really seemed to...

go to the heart of so many people. And I know because it was written from my heart about how I used to feel about my home. And it seemed to resonate with so many of you. So thank you for all your messages about that. Now, hopefully I am hoping that today's is also going to help you because today's episode is for anyone who has ever finished decluttering a category or place.

and felt really proud for about five minutes. And then you spotted that random leftover stuff. So, know, the leftover bits. Now, this is something that I wanted to talk to you about because I've had a couple of people in my membership and one-to-one clients that have been saying, help, I'm now at the bits part, what do I do? And I think it's really important to talk about this because...

The bits that you're left, the things that don't like fit neatly into a category, they don't seem important enough to have a like proper home because you're not quite sure where that is anyway, but also you can't really chuck them away because they might be needed and you don't really know what to do or some of them you don't even know what they are. So, like a mystery cable, a handful of screws, a spare button or something that looks vaguely useful or familiar but you've got no idea what it actually is or those extra little bits that you got when you created some furniture or...

that kind of stuff. Those, it might be like a random piece of plastic that your child's got from somewhere and you've no idea like what, where it's vitally important for. And I think it's really important because they have such a massive impact on us that we can't enjoy our work because we've still got these bits left over and they can be really, really stressful really.

Heather Tingle (02:21.23)
So those little stragglers that end up sitting in piles on the side for weeks on end, or they take over your dressing table or side cabinet or the drawer full of junk, that's what I want to talk about. Those little bits and bobs that stop the space from feeling finished. Because you really, when you declutter, you need to do it fully and have a start, a middle and a finish.

and you only ever feel the real lightness, the 100 % lightness, once you have got everything done. And you might get to like 98 % done, but if you haven't done that 2%, you know you haven't done that 2 % and that weighs on you and you can't enjoy what you've done. So let's just name what these bits are, not literally.

because otherwise I would literally be here for months and months months listing all the possible combinations of things there might be, but what they represent. And these are the kind of leftovers, the bits of the decision paralysis almost, and these are objects that are little where they don't really seem to matter that much, but they cause such an amount of mental clutter because you've not dealt with them.

So it might be something that you've picked up mid-tidy and thought, just put that somewhere later. Or it's something that clearly belongs to something else, but you've got no idea what. And these little bits pile up really quietly. It is almost like they just multiply in the kitchen counter and the drawer or in that little dish, either the front door or fruit bowl. These little bits, but you know, the fruit bowl is meant to have fruit in it or that little...

beautiful like dish that you had on near the front door was meant to be like a beautiful decoration and before you know it is like full of random bits and like safety pins and road coins and that screw and the battery that you're not sure if it's dead or not those kind of things and I want to say something but this these bits are less about the stuff and more about your decision making process and also the reward for doing it so

Heather Tingle (04:42.794)
If you think of it as each little item is like an open loop and you just keep going round in circles of I'll deal with that later and then later never comes because there's no priority for it because those little bits, you're not tripping over them. They're not causing a massive problem, but they're weighing on your brain. And I think, especially if you're neurodivergent, then they just stay in the background bugging you constantly and they drain your energy.

and you can never fully feel a sense of accomplishment because you still got those little bits in the background where, yeah, but you didn't do us. You didn't figure us out, did you? So it makes you feel like you've not finished and you've not properly done and you haven't properly done because it's like having some tabs left over and you turn your computer off. Like you're not meant to do that. And they are small, but they do slow everything down. So I think it's really important to figure out.

why these bits feel hard because you'd be saying to yourself and the clients have said this to me, but I've only got the little bits left, why is it so difficult for me to do it? And that's the problem. Because when you're doing like a big declutter, like a wardrobe or a kitchen or a drawer or a space, you've got momentum and you can see the physical transformation, you can see the progress, you fill the bags, you make the space, it feels better, it feels good. But those little bits are all like micro decisions.

And they still take the same amount of energy to deal with as the big decisions, but they're harder. They're more complex. They are the more, they are the equivalent of the doom room in your house when you've done the rest of the house. They're the hardest bits. You know, the other bits were kind of simple. was a stay or a go or a move. These are a, what is it? And then when I figure out what it is, where does it stay? Where does it go? What the hell do I do with it? And if it's going, I haven't even got a clue how to get rid of it because it's that

weird stuff. And so you can just get paralysis. So it's that difficult. It's much more difficult, but you don't get any reward because you've done the big transformation. You've already got your 90 % done. So you think, wow, brilliant. Look at me. I've done 90%. I can enjoy my space. And actually that 10 % is the hardest bit because we're really, as ADHD is especially, we're really hard at finishing off. Once we've got the dopamine of the, ah, this room's all done now.

Heather Tingle (07:06.188)
Why would we want to carry on and do the harder stuff? We don't, we don't want to, but you've got to. And you've got to be careful that you don't drain your battery so much that decision fatigue means that you can't do any more decisions. So those bits need to be done by themselves as a separate kind of project almost. So you need to be aware of there's going to be a lot of emotion attached to it because there's going to be a lot of confusion and decisions and that all

But what if I make a mistake? And also the responsible adult voice in your brain that goes, know, that occasionally turns up that says, but you should know where that goes. Or, you know, it'll be wasteful if you get rid of it. Those perfectionist thoughts. And I think a lot of it is about the perfection is that they drain on us because we haven't done the hundred percent declutter and organize. It's not perfect. Those items are usually bits of things, which means something else isn't perfect. And I think that's that also like.

you know, has a bearing on it as well. So I think those little bits carry quite a bit of shame that says, you know, someone saw this, they'd think, oh my word, what on earth? Why isn't like, why are you keeping all those bits? But you've got to make decisions and not just, not just chuck them, not just get rid of them, but really think about it and not just keep them because you're terrified not to. You know, you're human and you've just got to make decisions. And I think how do you actually deal with them?

in all honesty is contain them, give them a space to live so you know where they are. If you suddenly think, finally remembered what that little item is, I know where it is because this is the box or tub or whatever that is the bits box. I know where that is. Right, I can go to that. And then what you need to do is you need to look at the item and zoom out a little bit. And instead of

looking at it as an individual type of thing, look at it as, okay, what kind of category does this fit under? Is it IT? Is it tools? Is it DIY? Is it crafty? Like what's the bigger picture? And that then helps you to zone it in effect. And it might be that it goes into a different zone that's still got a bits box in that zone that is for that specific kind of thing and use that. And the easiest way to do...

Heather Tingle (09:31.599)
that kind of decision making is doing a timer and 10 to 15 minutes. We always say that 12 minutes in our membership is like the golden number because it's enough to get something done, but not too much that you feel that you've got to like have an hour's worth of time to actually make it happen. You don't. 12 minutes, 12 minute timer, could get a couple of bits, get a couple of bits sorted, done. You don't need a whole afternoon for it. And I think this is one of the things that works really well in the membership is

having that time to sit and then speak to other people about what is this thing and what do I do with it? And if you're not sure, do also feel free to ask in the untangled Facebook group. That's what we're there for. If you're not sure what something is, someone will probably know, probably me, because I've seen that many bits. That sounds a bit wrong. But definitely ask and say, do a Google Lens search and say, what is this? Now, don't always...

You know, AI isn't always right and the internet is not always right. But you know, try and figure out what it is. And if you really haven't got a clue, then give it a time limit, put it in a specific place and give it a time limit and say, you know what, after six months, it is totally okay to let this go now. And if I needed it, I'd know what it was. And if I don't need it, if I need it again, I can obviously figure out what that is then when I need it. And I can probably get that again. So find your exits as well for those little bits, because it will make you feel better.

If that means it goes in landfill, that is okay. For other things, know, a little electrical bits can go in like recycling at DIY shops like B &Q, fabric and textiles go to H &M or Dunelm, random hardware, scrap bins at the tip, you know, or, you know, if it's a random thing that you might be useful for someone else, pop it on, you know, a free zero waste group and see if it can be used to anyone else.

but don't let it hold you back because that little bit is causing a block and a real thing. And I think it's unrealistic to think you will ever have everything sorted. I do still have a junk space, but it is not a junk space. It is a, this is where this specific type of thing goes, the bits.

Heather Tingle (11:56.493)
Like the little birthday candles that we reuse, the lighter because obviously I don't smoke anymore or the matches or the... Just those random little bits, they have a space and that is that random little space drawer and that is okay. It's no longer a junk drawer or a ramble drawer if you're from my neck of the woods. And it's okay. It doesn't have to be perfect. And perfection to me is...

everything having a home in a space where I know where it is and I know what I've got and that's good. So do let go of the things that just in case items, keep the bits that you think might be useful, give them a deadline. And if you're not sure, just come and ask, that's okay. You're not lazy or a bad person for struggling with those little bits. They are hard and your brain by not wanting to tackle them is trying to protect you from hard.

when there's very little reward for doing it. But I can assure you, if you can do it in an easy way by like 12 minutes every other day or once a week, having a few minutes of time to go through those bits, you will feel so much better when those bits are done. You really will feel that you've actually done it. Like you are, you are on it. You are doing a great job. So there you go. So I hope that has given you a few things to think about. So until next time.

Remember you are not alone, be kind to yourself and keep untangling.