105 - How to pace yourself when decluttering

Summary

In this episode of Decluttering Untangled, Heather Tingle emphasises the importance of pacing oneself during the decluttering process. She discusses how rest is essential for maintaining energy and making effective decisions. Heather also highlights the emotional aspects of decluttering, encouraging listeners to be kind to themselves and to plan their decluttering efforts around their energy levels. The conversation covers strategies for managing time and energy, the significance of rewards, and the necessity of allowing oneself to rest and recover throughout the decluttering journey.


Chapters

00:00 The Importance of Pacing in Decluttering
02:45 Understanding Energy and Rest in the Decluttering Process
05:56 Planning and Timing for Effective Decluttering
08:35 Emotional Aspects of Decluttering
11:17 Finding Balance: Rest and Productivity in Decluttering

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Transcript

Heather Tingle (00:01.39)
Hello, untanglers, and welcome back to another episode of Decluttering Untangled with me, your host, Heather Tingle. Now today, I wanna talk to you about something that I've discussed with clients and also in my Untangled Life membership. And that is how to pace yourself when decluttering and just how important rest is. Now that might sound a bit strange for a decluttering podcast that I'm telling you to maybe slow down, take time out, but honestly,

pacing yourself when decluttering and resting in between declutter bursts is one of the most important parts of the process. And that's really important if you're neurodivergent because decluttering isn't just about sorting stuff, is it? Like it's decision after decision after decision. And that takes such an amount of energy. And I think we can watch things on TV and we can see, you know, big home transformations.

and we think that that is the norm and actually it isn't the norm. When I decluttered my home, it took me about a year and that was, you know, starting, doing a lot, being hyper-focused, going all in and then stopping for a bit and I think it's really hard to allow yourself to do that and feel that it's okay because I know as well as you do that you just want to get to the end of the process as soon as you possibly can because you want your life to start because you want...

You're home to be a nice place, you you wanna go all at it. But if we're being really honest, that's just not doable and it can be detrimental to the whole process. So, you could push through until you're completely drained and you get to the point where you can't think straight and everything will start to feel too much. You'll end up then surrounded by half-done piles, no idea what goes where and you'll have no energy to finish.

Now, that isn't gonna make you want to go back to do the next bit, is it? That's gonna make you feel like a failure, like you're tired, like what's the point? You're never gonna do it and you're just gonna feel more and more depleted and then you'll start to feel the word that I absolutely hate probably most in the world is lazy. Like, you're gonna feel lazy but actually, decluttering is almost like the tide coming in and out, like it...

Heather Tingle (02:25.422)
the waves will come backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards in little bits and that should do progress being made. It'll come in and in in and in and in and then it will sweep out again. And you just need that like, I don't know if you can visualize that analogy, like it works in my head, but I don't know if it works on a podcast or not, but you need that gap. You need that rest to...

make it worthwhile really because otherwise you end up with a fried brain and a house that isn't done properly. That's what's gonna happen and especially if you're ADHD or autistic you'll know what I mean. You can hyper focus on something and do absolutely loads in one go but then you need to crash and you can't really do much for days after and or you'll start with like a real burst of excitement and the energy is gonna dip and it feels like you've failed but that's not a failure. That's actually your brain asking for a break and that's what it needs and that's

Rest isn't an optional thing when you're decluttering, it's actually essential. So, we really need to switch that mindset up of do some, have a break, do some, have a break and also build rewards into it as well. And I think the thing that really trips a lot of people up is there's a lag. So, you can do a couple of hours solid decluttering, make loads of decisions and let you stand back and it looks like nothing's changed. It's that messy middle bit.

and the stage where everything's been pulled out, not quite put back, it's frustrating or you've got certain pockets done but then the other bits are looking worse and that's when a lot of people give up. But that lag between doing and seeing the end result does not mean you've wasted your time. What it means is it means your brain and your space are just catching up with each other and eventually more of those pockets will appear.

And that's why it's so important to kind of... As you're doing this, you need to plan. Go back to the planning episode, but look at your energy. So, look at the next month. Look at what you want to achieve in your house. Like, what is the thing that will make the biggest impact on your day-to-day? Whether that's laundry, your kitchen, your clothes, your kids' toys, I don't know, papers. Look at what will make the biggest impact. Then look at the next month.

Heather Tingle (04:46.431)
and really block out and be really ruthless about all the commitments that you've got. There is absolutely no point, believe me, because I did do this, starting doing some work at like 11 o'clock at night when the next day you've got a really big day. Or for those of you that have periods or hormonal issues, some weeks are going to be harder for making decisions than others. And if you're aware of that, then work with that. Work with the commitments you've got.

There's probably not much point decluttering in the couple of days before Christmas, you know, when life is so busy and you're already really stressed. What might be better is looking at those gap days where you've not really got anything on. know, that weird bit in between Christmas and New Year, for example, where you don't know what date is and you're just eating chocolates and leftover food forever and watching stuff on TV. That might be a really good time.

Or it might be actually you feel that you wanna get stuff done before the Christmas chaos hits. So, you the kids toys might be worth doing at this time of year. Or getting things in your loft sorted so that you've got place to put the Christmas stuff and it's all organized neat, like whatever works for you. But look at what time you've got and look at how your energy works. Like book it in when you know you've got your most energy. I am not a morning person. I am a middle of the day or evening person.

So I will book things in in the middle of the day or in the evening because that's when my energy is around. I am not a afternoon person. I am not a first thing in the morning person. So there's no point booking those things in for me to do unless they are so simple that it is almost mindless. And think about your mindless decluttering. So things you can do when you've got that low energy.

in between where you feel like you need to be productive but you're not really doing very much. So decluttering emails, decluttering your email list, unsubscribing, going through your screenshots on your phone that we, you there's millions of screenshots that we're all going to look at later than never actually do and delete some of those. You might not feel it's doing much but actually it does, it all adds up and it makes a difference. and the other thing to think about is the rewards that you're to give yourself once you've done a section.

Heather Tingle (07:07.467)
So if you go back to the planning and the pave system and look at the micro categories, having something like the blueprint, like my planner, for example, knowing where you are in that plan, knowing what you're starting with, what you're finishing with, knowing where you're beginning, your middle and your end is, that then gives you a, right, well, when I get to the end of this section, I'm gonna have a break for a bit. I'm gonna have a couple of weeks or a couple of days or a couple of hours off and build in some kind of reward.

Create your own reward after each burst of effort and do something nice for yourself, whether that's allowing yourself to watch that series that you've been wanting to get into, whether it's going to see a friend. Please don't buy something for yourself as a reward unless you can really, really help it. Or it might be, you know, I'm gonna treat myself to some new underwear once I've decluttered all my old underwear and work at it like that. Do not underestimate the power of...

a five, ten minute break to just step outside, get some fresh air, make a cup of tea and just sit. Sometimes we need a reset and that is really useful. Even doom scrolling on your phone, like that might just give you the dopamine you need to like just calm yourself because it is an emotional process and it's not an indulgence. I think we use relaxation as a reward.

And that is not what relaxation actually is. Relaxation is essential for living. It's not indulgent to just give yourself some time out, especially when you see all the other things that you should be doing. You think, I really haven't got time for this. No, you've got to make time. You've got to learn to chill out and have some time out from it because then you'll go back into it with more energy and enthusiasm. You're teaching your brain that this process is a good thing, that it's a process that feels good.

that is productive and gives good results at the end of it, not something that you're punishing yourself with. And I think that's a really important takeaway from today. And I often talk about how decluttering is in a really emotional process as much as a physical one. Now, if you've got any mental health issues or any physical health issues, then you've got to be really kind to yourself because it is emotional and it is a physical process. So...

Heather Tingle (09:27.327)
That's all taking energy away. Now, if you are low on energy anyway, you really need to be able to feel that you've got to the end of something to give yourself that boost of satisfaction and then to recover that energy and know that that is essential. So every time you decide to let go of something, you're processing memories, you're processing guilt, you're processing what ifs, you're processing identity, you're processing trauma. And that's really heavy work, really heavy work.

if you're doing it properly, because what tends to happen is people who want to skip to the end and just get through it really, really quickly either get themselves so tangled up in their own heads trying to figure out how to do it and what's the best efficient, most efficient way of doing it. And they should be doing this and they should be doing that and then end up doing nothing. Or they do it so surface level. We've all had those moments where we've binged.

a declutter and we've got rid loads of stuff and then three months down the line it's made absolutely no difference. So, you really need to do it properly and to do it properly that means pacing yourself because it's really heavy work if you're doing it properly. You're processing all that trauma, you're processing all that stuff that's going off, that decisions and memories. So, you're gonna need time to recover and that is so important. You know, it's a bit like exercise, you wouldn't run a marathon every single day.

I mean, I wouldn't run a marathon full stop, but there we go. But you know, you would rest your muscles and build up that strength and decluttering works in exactly the same way. So, if you've done an hour, that's enough. If you've done 15 minutes, that's enough. If you've got rid of, you know, sorted through one draw, if you've got one lot of, you know, one lot of items listed on Vinted, if you, you know, whatever you've done, you've done enough and you're moving forward. And it isn't measured by how much you do in one go. It's measured by...

how effective you were with those decisions and your ability to carry on doing it, not necessarily at that time, but how you feel about the entire process. So do think about that. So when you are starting to declutter, I really want you to plan your down days or down weeks, plan your rest in, literally schedule it in.

Heather Tingle (11:45.686)
a five-minute pause every half hour or, you know, a 10-minute tea break after each shelf or a full day off or a week off or a month off before you start the next room. Because when you're working with your energy rather than against it, the process is gonna feel so much lighter. You're gonna make better choices and you're gonna enjoy the process instead of dreading it and feeling like it's hard work because it is hard work. But if you can see a beginning, your middle and your end and your reward and your rest,

then hopefully you won't dread it. So if you need a bit of help with that, doing the pausing, the pushing, the starting again, because that's what we do in the Untangled Life membership. So we have live body doubling sessions where you can get things done and also know when to stop. Because I am very good at saying to my membership and my clients, you've done a lot this week, it's okay to rest.

Like, that's probably what you need to do right now. And sometimes just having that permission to rest means that the pressure is off and you get productive in a different way and do something else anyway. So, that's okay. You can find out more about Untangled Life, by the way, in the show notes. I am not pushing that because it's not even open at the moment at time of recording this. But I just wanted to like let you know that sometimes you need that permission and I'm gonna give you that permission. Heather says it is okay to rest.

once you've done something. In fact, it's not even okay, it is essential. So, be kind to yourself this week, untanglers. I hope that has given you something to think about. So, until next time, remember you're not alone. Be kind to yourself and keep untangling.