109 - Dealing with the Dining table dump zone

Summary

In this episode of Decluttering Untangled, Heather Tingle discusses the common issue of dining tables becoming cluttered and underutilised spaces in homes. She explores the reasons behind this phenomenon, particularly in neurodivergent households, and offers practical solutions for reclaiming the dining table as a functional space. Heather emphasizes the importance of understanding the emotional and practical barriers to decluttering and provides actionable tips to minimize clutter and restore the dining table's original purpose.

Chapters

00:00
Introduction to Dining Table Clutter

02:20
Understanding the Use of Dining Tables Today

05:31
Strategies to Reclaim Your Dining Table

08:13
Addressing the Clutter Under the Table

Transcript

Heather Tingle (00:01.432)
Hello, Untanglers, and welcome back to another episode of Decluttering Untangled with me, your host, Heather Tingle. Today, I want to talk about something that nearly all of my clients struggle with. And if I am being honest, I am currently in the same boat, which may surprise you, but today's talk is all about our dining table. So at the moment, mine is currently covered in client discards. It is a very temporary thing.

but I cannot use my dining table at the moment and that is okay. I would really like to explore this a little bit with you because I know that if you are someone who is in the untangled world, it is likely that you have not used your dining room table for dining on for a very long time. So you got it with all these lovely intentions of family meals, chats with your friends over a cup of tea or maybe wine.

maybe homework sessions or doing work at your table instead, know, our home offices or maybe your home office. You don't like going in there. So you do the work at the table instead, or it becomes in, you know, or it's turned into this massive dumping ground. Now there are a couple of ways you can deal with this. I'm telling them straight off the bat. Number one is recognize it and listen to what I'm telling you today.

The other option is number two, which couple of my clients have done, and that is get rid of the dining table altogether. Now, I think that is maybe a little bit extreme. So hopefully today will help you with the other option. So if your dining table has not seen actual dinner in a while, you are in good company.

because so many neurodivergent homes or homes in general use their dining table as a dumping ground. And it is not because you are lazy or messy. There are reasons for it. And today we are gonna untangle most of them so that you can reclaim that space without feeling overwhelmed. So the main thing to kind of figure out is why is the dining table getting buried? Now for me, I see this most of the time as

Heather Tingle (02:24.094)
If you think about the way we live today, we do not use our dining table for what it was originally intended for. So by that, it used to be that you would sit at the dining room table and have your dinner or tea if you're from Yorkshire. These days, it doesn't seem to be used for that. It seems to be a place where we do our work, homework, if you've got children, it's a craft space, it's a...

It's a side space, isn't it? It's where things can go. And also because it's quite high up, so if you've got young children or you've got animals, it can be quite a safe space. So you can put things on there and generally speaking, they will stay on there. So unlike the kitchen side, for example, where things might get splattered onto, the dining room table is kind of safe. Like things can go on there and then they stay on there. And also underneath the dining room table,

that ends up being a place you can shove things because let's face it, because if you're not sitting at the table, you don't need that leg room, it can be a place where doom bags can go to be forgotten about or hidden if you've got a long tablecloth. So because it's that safe space and also it is one of the places that you can plonk things, that's why it becomes a problem. So your brain,

sees that big first flat surface as you walk into a room which isn't being used and thinks that's okay, this is perfect, I can put this here for now. And also because it's quite big, you feel like you can leave things there without it being much of a problem. But then the problem is that once something is landing there, whether you do it or somebody else does it, that has then become a legitimate dumping ground. It then becomes a pattern of this is a place, a bit like a junk room, where I can shove things and it doesn't matter, it doesn't impact us

Now, before you know it, everybody's doing it and it doesn't matter how many times you clear it, it always goes back to that. It becomes a sorting place for stuff like paperwork, school letters, returns that you keep me to post, craft bits, things you don't want to lose, things you want to look at later. And everyone uses that table and then the piles become huge things. And then because everybody is involved in the house in that, whether it's you or your alter ego,

Heather Tingle (04:45.906)
that then becomes a problem because no one is in charge of that space and also the space doesn't have a defined reason for being there so unlike I don't know a kitchen sink where the reason for that being there is to wash things a dining room table is no longer the dining table so it is allowed to be that junk space and let's face it

Tables aren't just messy, what they're doing is they're holding onto things. So they're holding onto emotions, they're holding onto decisions that you have not made yet, a reminder of how many plates that you're spinning quite honestly, pun intended. And you can't do everything. A lot of untanglers feel that they failed if they blitz the table and then the stuff comes back. So they avoid it because it's causing a problem. And I would like to say to you, if that is happening with you, it is totally normal.

It is a struggle because until you start getting those other pockets of spaces sorted in your home, those dumping grounds like the dining room table are always going to be there. And it doesn't mean that you failed. Okay. What it means is it's just the easiest dumping ground that is less impactful than others. So unless you are going to suddenly let go of the dining room table totally.

then it's always gonna be a problem. Okay, so what can you do about it? Well, first of all, one of the quickest and easiest ways to minimize the possibility of becoming a dumping ground is setting it up as a dining table. So get the beautiful china out that you've been putting off that you never use, get it laid out like having fancy magazines, you know, with a beautiful napkins and the knives and forks out.

and the beautiful features in the middle, like, you know, get yourself some flowers and set it out as a dining room table. Not only will it look fabulous and you'd like, be very proud of your dining room, especially coming up to Christmas this time of year. I'm really sorry I mentioned Christmas, but you know, it is happening. If you can get it set out so it's beautiful, it is so much harder psychologically to dump something on there. If that just is not doable.

Heather Tingle (07:08.032)
One of my wonderful clients said to me today, what I do is I have a drop leaf table and I have it so that the leaves are dropped down. And then when I want to work or eat at it, I just put the leaf back up because it obviously when it's down vertically, you can't put anything on it. So she just puts it up for eating or working and then puts it straight back down again. So I think that's a really clever tip. If that is something that would work for you, then definitely use that.

And the other thing, and you're probably not gonna like this because it isn't a quick fix, and that is recognized that until those other spaces in your home are easier to put things away, the dining room table is always gonna be that plonk zone and it's okay. In tackling that, what I want you to start doing is working out what items are getting plonked on there and then figure out why they're getting plonked on there.

So are they getting plonked on there because it's the closest space to the door that you come in, for example. What type of items are getting plonked on there? Are they getting plonked on there because they don't have a home at all, in which case your next solution is to declutter a home, declutter a space and find a home for that stuff. Or is it the home that you've got isn't working for you and then it's a time to reflect

and try and figure out what are the barriers to putting it away and make the barriers less so that it doesn't end up on the dining room table. Okay, it's a very short but sweet one, but I think it's really important that if the dining room table does keep getting messed up, be aware that it is part of that process and you will notice it have less and less clutter the more the rest of the house gets sorted. However, under the dining table,

is a whole different ball game. That is a whole load of doom bags and random stuff that you've shoved under there. And that is the stuff that I would start working on next time you have some spare time, because that's the stuff that hasn't just been plonked there, that's been shoved there. And that is very, very different. So it's not transient. This is stuff that you need to work on. Okay. I hope that has given you something to think about. Please remember to be kind to yourself. Remember you are not alone.

Heather Tingle (09:33.133)
and keep untangling.