115 - Things to declutter and leave in 2025

Summary

In this episode of Decluttering Untangled, Heather Tingle discusses the importance of mental decluttering as we enter a new year. She emphasises letting go of guilt, judgment, and societal pressures that hinder our ability to declutter effectively. Heather encourages listeners to embrace rest as a vital part of the decluttering process and to focus on personal space rather than comparing themselves to others. The conversation highlights the need for self-kindness and the importance of taking action in the present rather than waiting for the perfect moment.

Chapters

00:00
New Year, New Mindset

02:41
Letting Go of Guilt and Judgment

05:46
Understanding Personal Capacity and Comparison

08:25
Practical Steps for Decluttering

11:42
Embracing Life Now

14:24
Conclusion and New Initiatives

Information about the Whatsapp January Daily Planner Untangle HERE (Doors close Sunday 4th January 2026 10pm UK time)

Transcript

Heather Tingle (00:00.974)
Hello, untanglers, and welcome back to another episode of Decluttering Untangled with me, your host, Heather Tingle. Happy New Year to you all. If you are listening in 2026, we are here, we made it, yay. Anyway, so today I want to talk about some things that I would love you to declutter and leave behind this year. So things you can leave back in 2025.

I'm really hoping that I can just remember to write 2026 on things that if I'm honest, but I guess today is going to be a little less practical, but I would like you to listen because mindset and how we think is everything to do with decluttering. And it really does make a massive impact on what and how we manage to achieve decluttering goals.

So today I'm not going to be talking about fresh starts. I'm not gonna be talking about decluttering massive things or changing your rooms around or anything like that. But what I would like you to do is to just take a few minutes while you're listening to this to think of some quiet decisions you can make about stopping carrying things that are making everything harder than it needs to be for you. Because a lot of the clutter I see every day

is actually linked to other things that are mental. So whether it's mental health, whether it's the habits we find ourselves in, whether it's the thought of other people's decisions on us, like there's a lot of things going off and it's not just about the stuff. And hopefully you know this by now anyway, that declaring isn't about the stuff a lot of the time, it's about holding onto what we love and letting go of what things

We don't love anymore and what doesn't serve us. So, some of the things I would like you to let go of are things like pressure. The pressure you put on yourself is huge. It's judgment and mostly, if I'm honest, it's pressure and judgment from ourselves rather than anybody else. You will be the person who judged you the most. People coming into your home, yes, are going to judge you, but they will never judge you or...

Heather Tingle (02:19.576)
think about it as long as you do. So some random stranger coming to fix something in your house is not still going to be thinking about that meeting with you, that 30 minutes in your home for the next five years, but you probably will. So let's have a way that we can have a look at this and maybe let a few things go because when we start removing these weights of judgments and expectations from us,

things start to move and it means we've got more space and energy to declutter properly and actually make practical changes. So one of the biggest things I think, and it was a massive realization for me this year, is one of the things I would like you to leave behind is guilt around rest. Now, when I mean rest, I am meaning rest regarding active rest or not doing very much.

or resting in a way that refills your cup. And for me, I've got ADHD. It's gonna be about resting, going for walks or watching Netflix or whatever. It's not sitting, not doing anything, because I can't do nothing. But this year was the first year where I allowed myself to do it without having to actually earn it. Resting because I wanted to, because I needed to, not because I'd done something.

first and then could rest because I think rest is very often treated like something that you earn and actually it's something you're allowed to do full stop, not something you're allowed to do once the house is sorted or the list is done because newsflash, it's never happening. There's always going to be something to do always. And I think that is absolutely exhausting. And especially if you've got neurodivergent brains, guilt absolutely does not motivate you. It just makes you feel bad.

It leaves you paralyzed. It leaves you stuck. It leaves you drained. So resting while feeling guilty doesn't help you. It doesn't refill you back up. And that's what it's meant to do. It's meant to give you time to chill and your body to relax and decompress. I only ever relaxed when I was exhausted and that's not relaxed, that's recovery. So there's a big difference. And I would really like you to look at resting as an essential part of decluttering.

Heather Tingle (04:42.402)
because you can't declutter all the time. You do need rest in between because if you are constantly on the go, your nervous system is always gonna be on edge and that's gonna make it harder for you to make decisions. It's gonna mean that you are gonna be drained more easily. And when you're tired and on edge, decluttering can feel really impossible. So removing guilt around rest is not about giving up. It's not about being lazy. It's about looking after yourself and nourishing yourself. So I think that is really an important part.

which will create the conditions where decluttering and decisions become easier. So think of it as an important part of decluttering. The other thing I would really like you to leave behind is constant self judgment. So that background noise of I should be better at this. Why can't I do it like everybody else can? Other people managed to do this. Why am I still dealing with this? Why is it taking longer than what other people take? Because that voice.

takes up a huge amount of mental space. Now, I'm not saying just by listening to this podcast, suddenly you're go, oh, of course, I'm not going to do this anymore. That's ridiculous, isn't it? Like, you know, I'm 48 and the amount of time it takes me to get my head around things like flipping neck, it took me 47 years to figure out to rest. So I'm not saying this is gonna drastically change your life, but it is something I would like you to just mooch around in your brain and think about. So.

That negative judgmental voice that is in your brain, it's going to show up in decluttering and it's going to show up when you second guess yourself, when you overthink, when you ruminate and when you get stuck. Even when you're paralyzed in indecision because you don't have a plan or an easy step to follow or you're waiting on the motivation to happen, which we know never happens, then that can make you feel bad. And actually what you need to realize is that's the reason why my job exists. This is normal.

This is okay. You are doing okay. And all these things that you think other people think too. You are not alone. You really are not alone. So let yourself think, do you know what? We'll take five minutes. I'm going to ask for help. I'm going to go in the Facebook group and ask the, you know, the untangled crew, what we can help with. I'm going to reach out to a friend and say, I'm feeling really bad. I'm going to ask for some help. I'm going to rest. Whatever you need, do that. Because you are not failing. You're not failing in your home.

Heather Tingle (07:00.492)
you are living in it. So we've got different brains, we've got different energy, we've all got different capacities. And I think self-kindness seems to be one of those really fluffy things that everyone thinks, yeah, it's for these people who have therapy and, you know, have wonderful lives and, you know, they've got money in the bank and the houses are immaculate and then they can be kind to themselves. No, it's not, it's for everybody. And it's a practical tool to get you to where you need to be.

The other thing I would like you to let go of is thinking there is a right number of things of items of categories because it trips so many people up. How many clothes should I have? How many books is too many? How many mugs have I got that might be too excessive? In my house, I definitely have excessive amounts of mugs because I love them and that's fine because there is no right number. It totally depends on your space. What room you have for things, that's the right number.

It depends on what you love because the goal is not about minimalism. It's not about getting rid of everything. It's about getting rid of the things that you don't love anymore and having room for the things that you do in a way that is ease. So ease of putting away, ease of access, less stressful, how you want it to be that feels good. That's what it's about. It's about function and supporting how you live.

So if you love your books and they fit in your space, that is not clutter.  So if you've got a load of mugs but you only use two and the rest stress you out, that's clutter. If you've got 50 and you have room for 50 and you love every single one of them, that's fine. That's acceptable. That's okay because decluttering is about numbers.

It's not about logic, it's about emotion and it's about space. It's those two things. So it's about how your home feels to live in it and that's okay. And the other thing I would love you to leave behind is the pressure that you put on yourself to always be doing something. Now, the idea that you slow down, everything's gonna fall apart. Do you know what? A lot of the time, it only falls apart when you fall apart and it's because you've not given yourself any breathing space to do anything other than go, go, go, go, go.

Heather Tingle (09:20.13)
So what I see in real homes is the opposite. When people stop pushing themselves to do everything at once, they make progress because their brain can think clearly. You can actually think, right, I'm gonna do this and then I'm gonna do that. And I'm gonna do this first rather than spinning millions and millions of plates. Because when you drop that pressure, you get clarity. And it works best when you work with your nervous system, not against it.

And the other one I see a lot of and think of something I would really love you to let go of and leave in 2025 is comparing yourself to other people, comparing your home against other people's, comparing other people's progress, comparing other people's timelines. Some clients totally revamped their home in like a week and a half, two weeks. Others, it might take five years. And that is a really hard truth, but it is truthful. It is honest. It is...

showing the difference between different people and different people have different capabilities, different energy, different spoons, different disabilities. Just so much going on in different people's homes. And there's also maybe a lot more to unpack in your brain than maybe others or though you are more sentimental than other people are, or maybe you're less sentimental, or maybe you struggle with the execution of certain things. That's all right. It takes as long as it takes, but

Just keep going with it because when you get to the end of it, it will all be worth it. So comparison totally ignores the context. It ignores energy, health and your divergence. It ignores what support people have got in place. It tells you a story that is not true. And social media is rife for this. It shows you befores and afters and gives you absolutely no context by how it happens. So, you know, they sort your life out.

doesn't show you the team of 100 and odd people or 50 or people or whatever, the money that is involved to declutter a home and what it was like actually really like before and what it was really like afterwards. It doesn't show you that. And then so there were a few practical things I would like you to stop bringing into this year. Taking items into your home out of guilt. Keeping things because they were cheap or because they were really expensive.

Heather Tingle (11:41.153)
Accepting stuff you do not want because feeling no feels really awkward. You are allowed to protect your space. You are allowed to say no to people and things in a nice way. And then in a stronger way, if it's not listened to to start off with, you are totally okay to have boundaries. And one of the most important things I would love you to take into 2026. And this isn't a thing to declutter.

Well, I guess it is. It's stop waiting for your life to start. Stop putting off nice things in your home until it's sorted. So if you really like fresh flowers, then buy yourself flowers and find a place alongside the clutter to enjoy them. It is okay. If you have some photos that you want to, or pictures that you want to put up, don't wait until the room is totally sorted and redecorated, which might be in five years time.

Put them up now so you've got five years to enjoy them before the room gets sorted. You will love your home and love yourself so much more by doing that. So don't wait and put off nice things. Go and make that friend and go and have a coffee with them. Go and do that lovely thing that you have been waiting for the perfect moment to happen. Don't wait for the perfect moment. Make it happen now because you don't want to get to the end of 2076 and realize that you're not.

done anything with your life because you're still waiting for your life to start. Like it starts every single day, every time you open your eyes. So now if you're listening to this thinking, I know it, but you know, it's easier said than done. It is easier than said than done. I get it. I really do. But it's something really I just want you to think about. So if there's one thing I'd love you to take away from this episode, it is that you do not need to do more. You're probably doing a lot already.

what you actually need to do is carry less. So carry less guilt, less judgment, less pressure, less expectations, and just be a bit kind to yourself, I guess. And that's really it for today's episode. But before I finish, what I would like you to know is between now and Sunday the 4th of January, 2026,

Heather Tingle (14:03.754)
I am opening the doors to a new thing that I am trying. So if you've got my planner and you haven't done anything with it, or if you have a flooredrobe and you are absolutely stressed out every single day by trying to sort out your clothes and find clean clothes and deal with that laundry mountain that's taking over your floor or taking over your sofa, then I am doing a little WhatsApp group where I'm going to come in every day from the 5th of January.

for a month to give you small daily prompts based on that planner when we're going to declutter clothes. So it's £49, $66 for WhatsApps from me. And I'll be around once a day in the evening for about an hour to answer any questions and to keep you accountable. So it's gonna give you one task to do each day in January. And I would love you to be part of it. So check the show notes, see what you think.

Um, it's a new thing that I'm starting because what I realized is a lot of the time, if you've been in my world quite a while and you've listened to the podcast and you've been in the group, actually, you don't really need to learn more stuff. What you actually need is accountability and someone to meet you do it. So we're doing it. That's the plan anyway. So let's see how it goes. And I'm only doing it for a month because I can't be consistent more than that. So we're getting rid of consistency and we're just showing up as best we can.

So there we go. So until next time, remember be not alone, be kind to yourself and keep on tangling.