126 - How to declutter the spare room of doom

Summary

That room. You know the one. It started out as a guest bedroom, a home office, maybe a gym. Now it is a dumping ground with a closed door and a whole lot of delayed decisions behind it.

In this episode, Heather Tingle tackles the spare room head on. Why it fills up, why it is always the last room to get sorted, and exactly what you need to do to finally reclaim it.

In this episode you will learn:

• Why the spare room is always last on the list (and why that makes complete sense for your brain)
• Why sorting it feels so draining before you have even moved a single box
• The one thing you need to do before you touch anything in that room
• The simple rule that guides every decision you will make in there
• Why this is not a ten minute timer job and how to approach it in a way that actually works

Mentioned in this episode:

• The PAVES System — listen to the earlier episodes for Heather's full exit strategy framework before you start
• The Untangled Community on Facebook — share your before and after photos and get cheered on every step of the way

Chapters

00:00 The Spare Room of Doom
04:06 Understanding the Emotional Weight of Clutter
06:54 Defining the Purpose of Your Spare Room
10:03 The Sorting Process: Making Decisions
14:14 Recap and Encouragement for Action

Transcript

Heather Tingle (00:01.038)
Hello Untanglers and welcome back to another episode of Decluttering Untangled with me, your host Heather Tingle. So today I want to talk about the spare room of doom. So that room that maybe started out as a guest bedroom or home office or a gym and it somehow became a place where everything goes when you do not know what to do with it, it becomes a dumping ground. So we're going to talk a little bit about why it happens.

why it's always the last room on your list and what you actually need to do to sort it properly, not just shove things around and then shut the door again. So the spare room is one of those weird and wonderful places, a bit like the cupboard under the stairs where when I go into a new client's home to sort out a room of doom, I get very excited because it's reclaiming your space back. But often it becomes one of those things where it's the last thing to do because The whole idea of a spare room is it is spare, so it fills up because it is a spare space. It doesn't really have its own identity. It doesn't interrupt your day. It's not like the kitchen you cook in every single night or the bathroom or the bedroom where you trip over things every morning or the hallway that you have to squeeze past or, you know, people can see into. It's a room where there's a door that you can close on it. You can forget it exists.

Nobody's going to go in there. strangers coming to your home are probably the least likely room other than your own bedroom that they're going to go in. So nobody also expects it to look nice because when someone mentions a spare room in our community anyway, it's definitely almost allowed to be a place that isn't tidy and is a bit of a dumping ground because it's a spare room. It's kind of like that's almost an identity in itself like we're so used to the junk drawer for example. So because of that we don't really do anything with it so we don't flag it as an urgent thing to do because it's not really quite frankly it's not immediately anyway what happens over time is that every item without a clear home ends up in the spare room every delayed decision gets shoved in there.

Heather Tingle (02:16.97)
every bag of stuff from a clear out that you're going to take to the charity shop one day goes in there and then it gets messed up even more and then before you know it you just can't do it. Also it can be a dumping ground for furniture that you've not quite got a home for maybe you bought new but you don't want to get rid of the old. So maybe if you redecorate or something old things can go in there or things that need fixing every piece of exercise equipment you've ever bought and fully intended to use in the full on hike.

for focus and then three weeks later didn't bother so you put them in the spare room until you got back into it again. So it fills up slowly and kind of without any real drama until one day the drama hits you because you open the door and you're like, oh, problem. Or until one day someone rings and says they want to come and stay in your spare guest room and suddenly you realise and you're standing at the door looking at a room that is supposed to be a guest bedroom and it absolutely is not. It's like the equivalent of a garage.

or one of those antique centres where it's got loads of random stuff that you've got no idea about. Or maybe it's a workman that needs to come in and they need to see every radiator in the house or every light being, every electrical switch for example. And that's when crisis mode hits, that's when you've got to do it and that is your crisis point. And most spare rooms have one at some point and it's usually the only thing that actually gets people to sort it or...

if they'd be really, really lucky and sorted everything else in their home and it's the last bit to do. So just to be aware, you are not lazy for leaving it to last. It makes perfect sense that you did it to last and your brain just did not see the urgency in it because there wasn't any and that's okay, like until it wasn't okay and like, okay. So now you can listen to the episode and you can know how to do it. All right. So.

Spare rooms are hard to sort. I am warning you now, this is not a task to start when you are tired and emotional unless the crisis is hitting. So it's not a clutter problem, it is procrastination. Every single item in that room probably represents a decision that didn't get made when it should have done. It is a, I'll think about this later, it's too difficult right now, things might change, you're in limbo with it.

Heather Tingle (04:39.534)
So something arrived, it got moved or was cleared out from somewhere and instead of a decision being made about it at the time, which maybe felt a little bit too hard, it went to store in the spare room temporarily until you had a minute to think about it or until things changed or until you knew what the situation was and then temporary becomes permanent because that spare room just takes it. So when you go in to sort it, it's harder because you're not just tidying, you're not just putting back...

things into the places where they live, you are taking an entire room to try and reclaim at once. You are going to, you're going back and revisiting all those decisions that you avoided the first time because they were a little bit hard. So that means these are going to be hard decisions. Although maybe now you might have had a little bit of time, maybe a little bit of distance from them, it may be easier.

But do be aware that you are going to have to actually make decisions. This is not a time to procrastinate or, oh, I'll leave that. I'll still leave this here till later, or I still need to think about it. This is a now or never kind of thing. And because of that, that is a lot of decisions. It's a lot of mental energy. You are going to end up with decision fatigue and because it is genuinely hard work. And also it can be physically hard work as well, because you are going to be moving quite a lot of stuff around. So,

It's not just physically tiring, but it's emotionally tiring too, which is why it can feel really draining even before you've moved a single box. Now, it is draining because it's hard, not because there's anything wrong with you, not because you're doing it wrong. It's knackering. There's no other word for it. This all sounds really negative, but if you think of how many rooms you have in your home, this might be like a sixth of your home.

that you are paying for in rent or in mortgage or whatever or paying for in time and energy that you're going to get back. That's exciting and that is good and you can have a room, maybe the last room that you're doing and you will have a room to be proud of at the end of it. So I know I sound quite negative about it but I just want to get your expectations ready for it before you start. Now before you even touch anything in the room I would love you to go into this room.

Heather Tingle (07:02.912)
and decide what it is you need to do. So what it is you want this room to be, not what it used to be, not what you feel guilty about it not being, but what do you actually want from this space? So what activities does it need to function for? Is it going to be a guest bedroom and a laundry drying space? Is it going to be a guest bedroom and a home office? Or is it going to be a workout space or a spare playroom? Or is it going to be a place to sit and read? What

is this room going to be? And because it is a spare space, really, really think about this to give it the real identity of what you want this room to be. Is it going to be a craft room with some storage? It is okay to maybe make it a wonderful sensory room for yourself. It's, you know, you're allowed to be selfish with your home and have it how you want it, not what other people expect it to be. So if you do not want it to be a spare bedroom for guests.

If it is not a spare bedroom for guests and it has another function, if someone wants to come and stay, they're going to have to stay in a hotel down the road or with somebody else. That's OK. You're allowed to have that boundary. It's all right. Now, it can have more than one function. Let's face it. Most rooms in real homes do have more than one function. So mine is a guest bedroom and an office space. That is what it is. It's a place for stationery. It's a place that the cats lounge on.

So that is already three things. So it's an office space, it's a spare bedroom and it is my cat's chill out zone. So that's what it is. So what I would love for you to get really clear on is what you want it to be. So name those functions and write them down and be really honest about whether they're things you're actually going to do in there or and really think about the things that you want to do in this room.

So for example, a lot of us, I'm saying us, I do not mean me in this one, but some of us have gym equipment in the spare room that we genuinely intend to use. Now, if that intention is real and you genuinely want to do it still, and you are committed to making it happen, yay go you, I am proud of you. However, if the treadmill has been a clothes horse for 18 months,

Heather Tingle (09:26.454)
and it was a clotheshorse because it didn't get used, not it didn't get used because it was a clotheshorse. Be honest with yourself. This room does not need that function if you are not going to do it. So really get clear on that and be honest with reality self. Now it may be that you give it a trial. It becomes, for example, the gym space for a few months. And if you still find you do not use those items, that's when you know.

that they can leap. Once you've got your list of activities, I want you to write them down. Stick it on Post-it notes and put it on the wall or the door in front of you or put a list on your phone where you can see it so that when you go in that room you have that list to hand because that list is going to become your guidance for every single decision you make in that room.

So when you're sorting it out, once you know that room is for, the rule is really simple. The doing of it is not. But anything that does not belong to one of those activities either goes somewhere else in your home or it leaves your home. They are the two options. The spare room is not the holding ground for decisions or things you don't know where they live. It is either going to live in that room

as an actual room space, not a spare space, or it's going somewhere else, either out the house or somewhere else in your home. Now, if something needs to go somewhere else in your house, you might find that the space it needs to live in is already full, in which case you might end up doing some knock-on decluttering in another room after you've decluttered your spare room. So it might be that it becomes messier in your other bits of your home.

as you go and that is okay and that is to be expected. So what I don't want you to do is take an item from the spare room and then go to a cupboard and then spend four hours on that cupboard and then not get any further forward with your spare room. So you would put it by the cupboard if it won't fit in and then make a mental note or list of next time you have some time to declutter you are going to attack that cupboard. Hopefully that makes sense.

Heather Tingle (11:48.152)
Don't let it throw you out, just means the spare room was really the dumping ground and you are now addressing it. It does work better if other rooms in the house are already decluttered because then you've got a bit of wiggle room and a bit of spare space to then move items from the spare room into that if you wanted to keep them. But if something needs to leave altogether, that decision actually has to be made and it needs to be done this time.

So make sure you've got your exit plan sorted out. So look at the beginnings of these podcasts for the Pave system and listen to those again before you start. And that will really help you with this one. So the decision got delayed last time. That's why the spare room turned away. did. But so you cannot delay it again. And because otherwise you're not going to get a different result. That's why a spare room feels like a really big job because it is a big job. You're taking back a whole room.

And that means making a whole room's worth of decisions that you've been, that have been sitting there waiting for you to make them. So it is significant, but it is worth it. But just go in knowing what you're taking on. So this is not a 10 minute time a job, really, in all of us today. So I talk a lot in this podcast about working in short bursts, doing a bit of a time, not overwhelming yourself. All of that stands for mostly clustering tasks and it can stand for a spare room as well. But you do need to...

I want to say almost create a grid system. So if you were maybe starting at the door and working towards the window, give yourself, if you're going to time it and do it in 10 minute timers, you're going to start at one side and then methodically work your way through the room rather than just picking up little bits around rooms, otherwise you're not going to get anywhere. So you've got to be methodical if you're going to do it that way.

So it is going to be difficult for you if you're doing it in small chunks, but if you're not, if you're doing it in a one or two day job, you need to be in the right head space, physically and mentally. You need a proper chunk of time, like think a full day or a few focus sessions across a few days with actual thinking time and exit strategies built in, not fitting it in around everything else. Dedicated time where sorting that room is the job.

Heather Tingle (14:10.894)
It can be really cathartic when you get into it and maybe do take a before and after picture each time you do some work on it because it's a big thing and you really want to celebrate what you achieve. Reclaiming a whole room in your home is a big deal. So give yourself permission to do it properly rather than half starting and ending up in the same chaos. Rearrange little bit with dumping grounds all the way around with the rest of your house as well and feeling exhausted and a bit deflated by the end of it. Okay, so to recap.

The spare room fills up because your brain does not flag it as urgent until there is a crisis. It's hard to sort because every item in it represents a decision that got delayed. The fix starts before you touch anything. You need to get really clear about what that room is, what it needs to do for you and the people in your home. Then the rule is simple. Everything either belongs to one of those activities or it goes somewhere else in the house or it leaves.

The spare room holding bay is no longer an option. So give yourself some proper time on this one. You're not just hiding a room, you're reclaiming it. And that needs time. So if this episode has given you a bit of a push to finally give it a go, come in the untangled community on Facebook, show me the before and after photos and we will be ecstatic for you. We will cheerlead you.

And if you get stuck again, come and ask, I'm here to help you. So until next time, remember you're not alone. Be kind to yourself and keep untangling.