Join us on an inspiring journey as we celebrate my daughter Angel's triumphant battle against an eating disorder. This episode is a testament to human resilience and the transformative power of positivity. Listen as Angel bravely narrates her journey, from the turbulent period of her life as a 13-year-old struggling with an eating disorder, to her inspiring recovery over the last ten years.
Recognizing the root cause of our struggles can be the first step towards recovery. Angel's story is a perfect example of this. She has the courage to take control of her recovery and shed the emotional baggage she had been carrying. It's not just about the recovery, it's about understanding the journey that leads to it.
We also delve into the significant role of support systems and positive coping mechanisms in Angel's recovery. We reflect on the importance of creating a positive environment and showing up for each other during difficult times. Angel's journey underscores the power of turning negative experiences into something positive. We also explore the crucial role of celebrating victories, big or small, on our path to healing. Join us for this heartwarming conversation about resilience, positivity and the beauty of embracing challenges.
email: FlippedMindsetPodcast@gmail.com
Facebook: Flipped Mindset Podcast
Join us on an inspiring journey as we celebrate my daughter Angel's triumphant battle against an eating disorder. This episode is a testament to human resilience and the transformative power of positivity. Listen as Angel bravely narrates her journey, from the turbulent period of her life as a 13-year-old struggling with an eating disorder, to her inspiring recovery over the last ten years.
Recognizing the root cause of our struggles can be the first step towards recovery. Angel's story is a perfect example of this. She has the courage to take control of her recovery and shed the emotional baggage she had been carrying. It's not just about the recovery, it's about understanding the journey that leads to it.
We also delve into the significant role of support systems and positive coping mechanisms in Angel's recovery. We reflect on the importance of creating a positive environment and showing up for each other during difficult times. Angel's journey underscores the power of turning negative experiences into something positive. We also explore the crucial role of celebrating victories, big or small, on our path to healing. Join us for this heartwarming conversation about resilience, positivity and the beauty of embracing challenges.
email: FlippedMindsetPodcast@gmail.com
Facebook: Flipped Mindset Podcast
Okay, welcome to the flipped mindset podcast. Hi, I'm Janet.
Speaker 2:Hello, I'm. Angel.
Speaker 1:Welcome to our podcast where we believe that you change your mindset, you change your life. So, as you can tell, I'm so excited. We have a special guest here today. It's my daughter.
Speaker 2:Angel Hello, finally dragged me into one of these.
Speaker 1:I remember when this was your idea and you were like but I'm never going to go on.
Speaker 2:No, no, they don't want to be apart. Very much supported the idea.
Speaker 1:Yes, you're like you need to do this, but I don't want to be on it. I was tricky, I didn't happen.
Speaker 2:But I am really excited to talk about what we're about to share today.
Speaker 1:Yes, all right. So I've got her here for a very special reason. So November 12th is a very big day for us and for the day we're going to celebrate 10 years of the day that we admitted Angel into the hospital for eating disorder and I know that's weird, that people probably are wondering why we celebrated. But it changed everything and within five years she was fully recovered. She is phenomenal, she's killing it, she's living a normal life.
Speaker 1:So we kind of want to talk about, just kind of go back over it a little bit and kind of, like you know, bringing light to the situation and kind of the eating disorder, kind of where it started, kind of your mindset through it as we were going through the recovery, because I know you had a hard time through that. And then just kind of like your life now and how you've boomed and blossomed and have changed things.
Speaker 2:I would definitely say like celebrating 10 years. It's crazy to think, like 10 years ago, going through that, the mindset I was in and how I really thought that my life was always going to look like that, it was always going to have impaired eating, there's always going to struggle with this and then the growth that came from it, from like me and you learning how to go through it, how you kind of shed that positive mindset Like you are what you believe.
Speaker 1:So let's start at the beginning. So let's start with kind of like the headspace that kind of puts you into an eating disorder If you want to go back and talk about how it kind of came about.
Speaker 2:Yeah, During a lot of counseling I figured out it was having a lack of control. I was 14. Was I 14 or 13? You were 13. I was 13 at the time?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was 11, 12, 13.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so parents got divorced, we moved.
Speaker 1:We had a death in the family.
Speaker 2:We had a death in the family. A lot of life changes that as a 13 year old you don't really have to say so, and so I think I kind of channeled that into what I could control, and for me that just so happened to be food. I also grew up with a very negative father in my life, so I kind of carried some habits.
Speaker 1:We can leave it at that yeah. So there was factors that led up to it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think the main thing was like not having control and thinking that controlling my food was the only way to handle my reality. So do you remember when it started?
Speaker 1:Like when you started controlling your food, like what was going through your mind when you were, when you did any of that. Or do you want to like fast forward to when it started getting bad and starting getting out of control?
Speaker 2:Because I remember it started like I would skip lunch at school and knowing the scientific reasons, like whenever you fast or skip a meal or when you start losing weight, your body releases some endorphins, so it feels really good. It's very rewarding. And then I started on a downward spiral of just like social media was really heavy back then and so comparing myself to people on social media, not thinking I was good enough, thinking that the only way I was ever going to be accepted and that my life was going to be great is if I was super skinny and just looked quote unquote perfect, even though that's not real. But that's what you thought. But at the time, yeah, that was the influences that I had and that was the downward, the driving force of it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Did you want to talk to me about, like when it started getting really bad? Because it took a while it did. It took a while before it started being noticeable and started getting to the point where I noticed and we started noticing and I'm sure, like you, started seeing things as well.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, Like dizziness standing up and accidentally passing out. I stood up too fast. Very cold hands, very cold feet. If I that with my legs crossed, my legs would fall asleep pretty easily. When it started getting really bad, my hair started falling out. I just physically didn't look great.
Speaker 2:The gray skin and the blue finger like fingernails, the constant fatigue, tired, all the time, constantly freezing, but I was always just like none of that mattered. It was just counting calories in my head. How do I get through today? Off of you know, it's just like that survival, like how do I get through today? How do I get through today?
Speaker 1:Did you have anything in your mind of trying to hide it as well? Yeah, anything part of it.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know you did things to hide it, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:I had food, I tried to wear a lot of like baggy clothing, lots of layers.
Speaker 1:And I think for us that's one of the biggest signs, when we started realizing there was a really big problem. I mean, we started noticing that there was problems, but really it was when we found all the food you were hiding in your room.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And we were like wait, something is you know, because I would cook sometimes Like I was not.
Speaker 2:I didn't avoid the kitchen. I was definitely in the kitchen, but yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but there's a lot of things that you would. Yeah, you were hiding food and stuff and we didn't realize it and we started paying a little more attention to it.
Speaker 2:I think, and I think people kind of noticed along the way, because a lot of people would be like oh wow, you lost some weight. Oh wow, you know like, and in my eyes it was more rewarding. It wasn't like hurting in any way, right?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, and so it was kind of hard on you know. Yeah, looking at that and seeing it and then realizing we had an issue and then trying to figure out how do we help you? Yeah, and want to be helped.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it did get to the point and it was like, again, I had snooped on the internet and I found all these anorexic websites and people motivating and pushing this culture and it was basically like I'd rather be skinny and die than live any other way. So it got to the point where I was like I don't want to feel like this, but I've done all this already, that I'm just, I don't care what happens. I never wanted to help myself at any point.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean I know we're laughing now because we've gone through this.
Speaker 2:It's very deep. I remember you crying in the car like, enjoy, you will die, and I was like, yeah, I don't care.
Speaker 1:So yeah, so I did have that conversation with her. I sat with her and looked her in her face and was like you are going to die. If you don't eat or take care of yourself, you're going to die. And she's just like I don't care. She really didn't care at all. We found out later that's part of the eating disorder, like your body starts shutting down. The doctor told me, like there's a part of your brain that shut that part off, that analytical like hey, you know you're going to kill yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I couldn't foresee the future.
Speaker 1:She could make straight A's. She could make straight A's and everything would be fine with grades, but she couldn't have that forethought of you know. Oh, I could kill myself like that part Really odd to me, but I think that's an important thing for people to know.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And kind of what we're talking about. It, too, is some of the things science to know. You can watch if you know the clothes, like you said, really baggy clothes. You were even wearing stuff in the summertime, wearing sweatshirts and stuff like that, Even though now I think it's the, you wear sweatshirts. All you know what I mean. I think that's a thing now, but I'm hiding food having safe food, not venturing out and eating.
Speaker 2:You ate oatmeal Like that was the whole for over a year.
Speaker 1:I was favorite oatmeal. That was about the only thing, yeah, so it was a hundred calories and yeah, yeah, and then you started to stop and drink in water. Yeah, it was bad, Really bad.
Speaker 2:But even like when I got admitted the first time I received help and I still didn't want it for myself, I still didn't want. It was kind of like a drug, something that I was like so dedicated to this. Already I'm not going to give it up and as soon as I will do whatever to get out of here to make everyone else happy. And then I'm just going right down that spiral again.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I wish I would have known that we want it. Well that's why I got admitted the second time. So yeah, so the first time was back up and we'll talk a little bit about that day that you got admitted. So I eventually took you to a doctor. You hated that doctor. I don't know how much of this you remember. I don't remember anything about.
Speaker 1:We took you to one of the doctors that you know we always did your well child backup. So I took you there and she told me you know she had come and told me some of the stuff that was going on and what she thought. And then they gave me the number to the children's hospital here for the eating disorder thing and then I had it set up and she's like, just try to get her to eat anything just to sustain you until we could get you into the other one. But actually, like here in Oklahoma, you were the very first person, the first patient in the eating disorder thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:They started it two weeks early for you.
Speaker 2:But at that point I was so far deep that it was like I couldn't walk. I couldn't afford to burn calories from walking. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they had to admit you where we would have been in somewhere else. So she was bad. So she was like 70% of her body weight and she had a lot of like. Her reproductive has shut down Again. Your hair party of brain function has shut down. Next was either your kidneys or your heart. You're very close to one of those and I think that's one of the killers is usually one of those will go and there's not much you can do.
Speaker 1:So we were very close to losing you. Yeah, the good thing is you didn't fight me much, because you didn't really have any energy to fight me. Yeah, the second time was a little different, but we'll get to that part.
Speaker 2:Yeah, very scary. That was the first time. I'm not the first time, but like the closest to death, like once I started getting nutrients again, realizing what had happened. Yeah, well, it's very scary.
Speaker 1:It is scary. Oh yeah, I was scared to death and I had to hold it together because I knew if I lost it, then you were going to lose it.
Speaker 1:And so, yeah, that was an interesting day and night getting situated, but I was glad that we got you there and we got you the help. Like you said, it did make us a lot closer and we learned a lot of things. I learned a lot too. I had to learn as a mom. I had to sit and listen, yeah, and I would let you talk and listen and try to hear like, because most people think an eating disorder it's almost, it's an addiction, like you're saying right, so it's that's what middlemen had told me. The doctor had told me that it was like an addiction, that. So it's almost like a telling an alcoholic not to drink or a drug user not to use drugs. You know it's kind of the same thing.
Speaker 2:It's very like comforting. It's like you know, when you get home from a long day of work and you're just like I want something like comfort food or binge watching your favorite show, or it's. It's that it's going to something that's comfortable, because you know, you know, yeah, I know it in a weird way. In a weird way it was comforting for me and it helped me feel in control of my life.
Speaker 1:I get it because I went through it, and disorders because it's a mental issue, it's not a just eat.
Speaker 2:But also like eating disorder, doesn't? There's so many types of eating disorders, because eating disorder is disordered eating. So if you don't have regular eating habits, you technically have an eating disorder and then there's different degrees to it. You know, I obviously did the way out of the ballpark. There's an interaction out. There's bulimia, glies and struggle with eating disorder. It's not just oh, I just don't want. I want to be skinny.
Speaker 1:And I think that's what that's, that a lot of people think, that that's what it is. Oh, I just want to be skinny so I'm not gonna eat.
Speaker 2:They don't realize that it becomes a whole kind of disorder and you know it's a and I've met a lot of friends that were like I have trouble, like it could be like they have a bad relationship with food because of, like one of my friends, her mom was very strict with her when about her eating when she was growing up. You know what I mean. So now she looks at food in a negative way and then it's crazy like I had the same. I had a very negative relationship with food and now I have a very positive relationship with food. So yeah, so let's talk about that a little bit.
Speaker 1:So, like we were talking about, so we've talked about, we actually had her admitted twice. Yes, so you went in twice. So she got out the first time. It was doing pretty good recovering. There were certain things we had to do and then she started sliding backwards, which is probably what you were talking about earlier. Is like you're like I'll do what I need to to get out.
Speaker 2:I full. Yeah, I didn't really want it coming out of the hospital first time. Okay, yeah, so you're just like man, I'm just doing what I need to do. Yeah, and then my old habits will take over.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and so then we had you admitted the second time and then so talk a little bit about that one. That was a little bit different because you were healthier.
Speaker 2:But I also knew how to like kind of cheap system. In a way I would drink extra water so I had more water weight. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Like I thought the doctors were all over that. Oh yeah, they read right through my bullshit, but being 15 years old.
Speaker 2:The second, was it 15? Yeah, you were 15. The second time I thought I was the shit and that I knew it all. Yeah, of course they read right through that bullshit, but I, in my little mind, I was convinced that I had everyone.
Speaker 1:Yeah oh, yeah, we thought when I know, like for me, as as her mom, I was fighting in a clock, so you know she was 13 when we went in. I knew when she was 18 because there was another girl that was admitted the first time with you that was 18 and she would be there for a couple of days and then she would sign herself out and then it wasn't long, but a week later she was admitted back in. Yeah, this thing went back and forth because you were what? Six weeks the first time and then five the second. I think All this stuff is in brain.
Speaker 1:It's infused in my brain forever. So I knew I was racing the clock, like she. Either by the time she's 18, we either have to have her recovered from this or she's gonna be fighting it the rest of her life, and so I think we we chose plan A.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but like you weren't, you weren't on board for a while, I was not but that's what's crazy is like I had the resources, I had the support, I had everything to get better, and it wasn't until I had that breaking point that I was like no, I want to have a normal life. I don't want this life for me. You know what I mean? Like what? What do I need to do in order to heal from this, in order to grow from this, because I don't want this to affect my life for the rest of my life. Right, I don't want it to affect me. Yeah, which?
Speaker 1:would have been short-lived, yeah. It would have been a short life. Yeah, do you? Do you know what happened to make that connection, for you to finally decide that you want to do this and get better?
Speaker 2:I think it was that sit down with my doctor and she kind of dug really deep and we got to a conversation about how I was bullied many years ago, probably when I was like 11 or 12, and how I was still holding that baggage and I I don't know what she said, but it, yeah, she pushed the right buttons.
Speaker 1:I remember. I remember that day very well too, yeah, and she pushed your buttons and you were crying and you finally said some things that you never said before. We don't want to go in, you know, we're not going to go in all the details, but I remember then you went to your psychologist right after and you left with him and right after you left in the door shut. She turned to me and she goes.
Speaker 1:Now the healing begins yeah because now you were gonna take control of it and that was like celebrate. So now talk a little bit about so that was up to that. So now, now that you made that, that mind shift, and now you wanted to help yourself and you wanted to get better, talk a little bit about like, was it easy, was it hard? But so struggle like anything that kind of about on that or changes it was hard.
Speaker 2:It was a lot of conversations that went deeper down the surface than like, oh, I've been having a bad time at home or this is going on in my life, and it was it about day-to-day struggles. It was more like, well, why does that make you feel that way? You know, like digging deep into what the actual group is and then just realizing that that baggage that I've been carrying and the relationship with my eating disorder, I remember it. I'm a very visual learner. So my psychiatrist, he drew out a picture of a river and there's a log and he described it as I was holding on to this log because it made me feel safe. So I went drown in the river.
Speaker 2:This log is my eating disorder. And he said, if you let go, the shore is right there and you won't drown. You just have to be brave and courageous, which is not always easy. But let it go. And then this thing that you keep carrying, that eventually is gonna lead you down a waterfall. You know you can let go and it's not yours anymore to carry and you can just go to shore. I think after that talk and like visually saying it and it just it kind of clicked in my mind that this isn't what I want. I want I was given a second chance to figure out what I do love, what does inspire me, the life I do want to live, and I think I just I ran more in that direction than what was safe and comforting at the time.
Speaker 1:That's freaking awesome, and I've heard this many times it's every time I'm just captivated. Yeah because it blows my mind like, hey, this is, you had to be brave and you had to be courageous, and so, yeah, I remember that and there was a lot of changes after that and you grew. You also talked about your story more I did.
Speaker 2:I decided to share my story with others.
Speaker 1:That was a big step for you, because you try to keep it secret. She didn't want people coming to see her at the hospital. She didn't want anybody to know. We can't.
Speaker 2:I didn't want it to be the thing I was known for.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm yeah so don't talk a little bit about you, you deciding to share that story.
Speaker 2:I think, actually like writing down my story Allowed me to see like bits and pieces that I felt along the journey, but also presenting it. I remember presenting it in front of my whole class in high school.
Speaker 1:How crazy that. I mean that had to be brave to do that like it took a lot of break.
Speaker 2:I remember crying. You know what I mean. I felt very vulnerable. I Obviously opened up to my peers, which is really intimidating at the time, but I think that healed me a lot was like this thing doesn't scare me anymore, I can talk about it. And then getting the support for my peers and everybody else that I've shared my story with has been awesome Again. Friends and Family telling me their similar stories, you know like just being able to talk to people about it, it's been awesome.
Speaker 1:So One of the things I've noticed is, since we've you know, you, you having this, and when I talk to other people in my, in my world too, when I talk to other people and and if it comes up and I tell your story, I'm surprised at how many other moms say, well, my daughter struggling with that too, and I have you know, we're worried about the same thing. So it's like Realizing that it's a bigger issue than just you know. I think that's one of the reasons why we want to like Celebrate this and get the word out and and tell your story, because it's it's powerful, yeah, because you took something that would have Taking control of your whole life for the rest of your life kind of ruined my life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're really like, and you had to make the choice, mm-hmm, that you wanted a better life and make it a better life. Yeah, and as a mom, that sucked Because I'm like I can't fix it. You know, like it's a thing, like I couldn't fix it for you. I wanted to if I could have.
Speaker 2:I would have thrown all the band-aids, everything. I'd be like what do you need?
Speaker 1:We'll fix this. We'll fix this right up and you'll be good to go, but you had to make the choice, you had to do it, and so I think that was a very like it was. It's so powerful to watch you do that and to be by your side and helping you along the way, and, of course, there wasn't always good things either.
Speaker 2:Some bad times that you haven't mad at me for yeah, but it was all for your, and I still use it, yeah, in real life now. So, yeah, we're about to get to there too.
Speaker 1:So like okay, so your was it on your birthday or right around your birthday. On your 18th birthday was when we had that last.
Speaker 2:Yeah appointment.
Speaker 1:We had the last doctor appointment right around her 18th birthday and she was declared recovered. He had beaten it and the children's hospital actually had you. They had you tell your story mm-hmm so we got a video of that got to be on the news you got to be on the news.
Speaker 2:I got a whole room painted for me, mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:You got to be on the calendar.
Speaker 2:We were on a calendar got to do some cool stuff.
Speaker 1:I think that was like. For me, that was a Mental thing, because I'm like she's 18 now and she's recovered. Yeah, so she's beaten, still not going forward. Let's talk a little bit about something like what you've had to go through since then. Is any moved out? Mm-hmm, you run your own.
Speaker 2:I remember calling you shortly after I moved out and I noticed that I had gone back to similar eating patterns as before, mm-hmm, because I felt out of control and you just telling me that, the way I was able to be aware and notice that myself that I would never have to worry about going back to when one, I remember that conversation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm very aware of it now. And then in 2020, during cope it, I Got tired of eating out, I got tired of paying for over eats you know it's very expensive and so I decided to Learn how to cook and I actually fell in love with the cooking process, and so now my relationship with food is so Positive and so beautiful and I get to do it my everyday life now in my career. So, yeah, it's awesome To like. Look back 10 years ago is like I would eat PB and J's if I felt uncomfortable at, you know, a restaurant that we ran that we go to, like chicken, like my safe meal, and now it's like I'm Extending. I want to taste more. I love Cooking all different kinds of things. Going to the gym, having our trainer, who also went through an eating disorder yeah, just crazy. And building that relationship of like Food is fuel and I want to be stronger. I don't want to. I Want to take up space. You know I'm gonna be strong. I want that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's amazing. I love that.
Speaker 2:You said that cuz it yeah that's something I've struggled with was like I'm a very small individual and so I have to fit people's perception of being small and little and it's like no, I can be strong and powerful and take up space Is. I deserve to take up space and you do a beautiful.
Speaker 1:Yes, exactly yeah, but that's amazing. Glad you're telling your story there because it is very inspiring. There was a time that we really used tool being. You're like I'm gonna have the eating disorder forever, so I don't know how to do it.
Speaker 2:you know like I'm just gonna.
Speaker 1:This is just my life from now on, so you know, we talked about one of my other episodes. We talked about like self-talk. That's one of that's a self-negative self-talk. Right there it's like, oh, this is just who I am, so now I don't have to do anything. I don't have to. You know, it's just something I'm gonna deal with. Yeah, but you made the decision no, said no. You know, you drew a line in the sand and you said no, I'm gonna recover from this. I want a normal life. I'm gonna have a normal life and, even though you didn't have a normal childhood, you have a normal life now.
Speaker 2:Instead of being like ashamed of my eating disorder, I'm now proud of it and I just you know I talk about it, oh tell the story of that girl that you saw at the bar.
Speaker 1:Once that you saw, you remember you were telling me that you went up and talked to her. Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:I saw a female at the bar that was 21, but she just had some of the characteristics that I noticed, you know, and so I just talked to her and I was like, hey, like how are you guys doing? Started chatting and I was like I think we shared social medias or something, and then I told her that I struggled with eating and body appearance and all this, and I just thought I forgot exactly what I told her. I acknowledged her and we talked a little bit at the bar.
Speaker 1:Well, I like that too, right like it's, like you're noticing it and you're spreading the word and trying to help too. It shows like your big heart. I think it's awesome. Thank you for sharing this.
Speaker 2:Of course I can't believe it's gonna be ten years. I can't either.
Speaker 1:It's been a long time to get here and it's made our relationship better because one of those things like it's a negative, really bad experience, but we've turned it into something that we've grown from and we look back on it in fondness almost. I know that sounds weird, but it's kind of like you even said you know, if you didn't kind of gone through it you wouldn't have gotten to where you're at and the maturity that you have and being aware of myself and building that confidence with myself, because I used to not trust myself for the longest because of what had happened.
Speaker 2:And so learning, building that trust with myself, the confidence, the mindset, really I love this change. So I wouldn't do, I wouldn't be where I'm at without it. And you know they say like for in order for people to change. You know that was those insecurities, those that sense of control that I was trying to hang on to. That would have been something I fought with with the rest of my life. It wouldn't came out in other areas of my life, right? So I'm thankful enough that it did show up and I had the support team and the help and all the love in order to get through that and realize yeah, I think one of the points I wanted to like emphasize is like the eating disorder becomes a coping mechanism.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a comfort zone, it's comfort zone coping mechanism. So you were able to learn new coping mechanism and so now, when you feel stressed, you go to your new coping mechanism versus going back to there. And that's kind of like some of the things we talk about and I want to talk about in some of the future one's different ways, because that's what we do we distract ourselves with coping mechanisms to make us comfortable, but if we want to live the life we want to live, sometimes we're gonna have to be uncomfortable. So how are some ways we can have positive coping mechanisms to help? That's just awesome, I love it. So now, like I don't, I love it I get phone calls from you, mom, guess what?
Speaker 1:yeah, but you make them in you and I'm moving in and I like I want to be a bartender, oh wow okay, and then I became a bartender and not only did you become a bartender, I started making cocktails and she's competing in competitions and you're just, I, just love it.
Speaker 1:I tell you I'm only taking 10% credit. Like we argue about that on how much credit again. But you, the thing is, is like, like you said, you had the support system, you have the tools, you had all this stuff given to you, but until you decided to pick it up and take it and embrace it, it was never gonna work. So you did the hard work?
Speaker 2:yeah, I did, but if I didn't have the support and guidelines of where to start, I would have still been lost. So maybe we can talk a little bit about that, because I remember you like I had to give myself affirmations you know, I had to learn healthy, positive thinking while going through it, yeah yeah so just a couple little things just for our listeners, right?
Speaker 1:so from a mom's point of view, there's a couple ways like I had to learn how to support you the right way and how to like not take things personal, because the worst times that you would be irritable or you would be this and you would lash out to me or things like that, but those are things that you were just because you were uncomfortable and trying to figure this out.
Speaker 1:So I had to learn how to like listen more, like really actively listen to you and listen to your story. And then, like I remember you needed to take a shower and you didn't want to take a shower. So we sit and had a conversation and we figured out why you didn't want to take a shower and then what that's when we did like okay, let's do these positive affirmations and you know we kind of like found what the issue was and work through it. So you kind of you know that kind of stuff really helped you, versus me just saying you need to get in there and take a shower, cuz that would have made it worse, I think yeah, you'd have been like oh, fuck you.
Speaker 1:I've been like ha ha, make me know, just kidding kidding, guess who's never taken a shower now, right, but um, but I just remember, like for me it was having to ask myself. So it kind of my mindset too. I always had to ask myself how can I show up for her, what does she need for me, how can I listen to her more? How do I find out? Because this was all new to me, I had no idea, I didn't have a support system, yeah, so I had to kind of figure it out on my own too, but it was always, you know, I always reach back into that. You know, like you said, the positive mindset thing. Okay, how do we get her mindset to be switching it? And sometimes it was just every day. We had to try new things and new things, or even like getting hospitalized for six weeks.
Speaker 2:That's very negative, but the way that you brought activities up every day, you made sure that we walked around the hospital. You got me candy that I wasn't supposed to have. I did not get you candy. It's ten years, I think. I think we can.
Speaker 1:The act is up decorating my room you know I mean like we turned it into a more positive thing than a negative yes, because I think you know it's a negative thing to have to go through. We're trying I was trying to make it as positive as possible because that can help you and I think it did, and I'm glad it did and I think so. I guess a lot like if people are listening to this and they're having the same kind of issue is sometimes you have to think when somebody's going through something like that, how can you make it just a little bit better, sometimes just a little bit positive? How can you make you know so? So maybe just thinking those kinds of ways can really help other people as well. Yeah, I thought I was there.
Speaker 2:You know we had a lot of fun learning Romeo and Juliet oh yeah, having the doctors through my homework for me, yeah, it's pretty great.
Speaker 1:This is not my smart daughter got the, got the one of her doctors to do her homework for you're so smart came in clutch and we're paying for the doctors anyway, they must they got.
Speaker 2:They had degrees. Okay, they know what they're doing.
Speaker 1:They can do some row me, yeah, to do her homework. So you know, six weeks of school she had to do. I'm glad we're on the side of it. We're gonna celebrate this year, but this is gonna be a special podcast we're putting out, so I just want to celebrate you because you're, you're fabulous, you're amazing. I love your mindset, I love how you're, the way you're managing life. You're, you're adulting, you're killing it.
Speaker 2:It is like, and you know it's really nice to like have my eating disorder story to fall back on, because I know I've talked to you about this and I'm like when it does get tough and life gets hard, I'm like, well, I did that, you know like I conquered an eating disorder you know, and I went through all of that and didn't think I was gonna come out of it, and I did. I can do anything.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love it yeah, that's one way to think of it, and I love it. You're like, yeah, I can do anything now we've been through the hardship, I can get through that.
Speaker 2:I think I can get through this little rough season of life right now.
Speaker 1:I love it thank you for being here of course.
Speaker 2:Thank you for having me. Yes, and we're gonna be celebrating big time.
Speaker 1:Oh yes, so all right. Well, we're gonna let you guys go. This one's gonna be a little longer, but thanks for listening my story, so all right until next time, be wonderfully weird and brave. I love that.