70. Hotel, Resort and Luxury Travel Etiquette for the Confident and Considerate Traveller

In this episode, Louise Percy explores the etiquette of hotel and resort stays, covering every stage of the guest experience from arrival to departure, and the many nuanced interactions in between. 

Show notes: https://thepercyinstitute.com/episode-70-hotel-resort-and-luxury-travel-etiquette-for-the-confident-and-considerate-traveller/

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:08

Thank you for joining Manners and Other Matters, the podcast which brings you all the insights you need to navigate the intricate world of modern manners and elegant living. I'm your host, Louise Percy, and I'm delighted to be your guide on this journey towards a more refined and gracious way of life. I'm here to share my knowledge and insights with you, and I will also be bringing in a lineup of experts from the worlds of etiquette and elegant living to share their wisdom and experiences. The art of etiquette isn't just about following a set of rigid traditional rules. It's about fostering meaningful relationships, both in your personal and professional life. Whether you're dining with colleagues, entertaining guests, or simply striving for a more elegant lifestyle. Subscribe to Manners and Other Matters today and let's explore the world of etiquette, manners, and the pursuit of elegance together. Hello and welcome to Manners and Other Matters. Now if you've ever checked into a hotel and wondered whether you were doing everything quite right, whether you should tip, and if so how much and to whom, whether it's acceptable to take those lovely toiletries, don't we love them in hotels? Or how on earth to raise a complaint without feeling awkward, then today's episode is just for you. I've already explored the etiquette of flying at thirty thousand feet and the art of being a gracious homestay guest. But today I'm turning our attention to hotels and resorts, from the charming boutique inn to the grand luxury property and everything in between. Because here is something I actually feel really strongly about. The way we treat the people who serve us on the spaces we temporarily inhabit says a lot about who we are ourselves. A truly elegant guest isn't defined by the suite that they book, but by the grace and consideration they bring to every interaction with the people they encounter during their stay. So let's explore what it truly means to be a guest worth remembering for all the right reasons. I know in the Northern Hemisphere you're entering your summer holiday time, and here in the Southern Hemisphere, of course it's completely different, and we're entering winter. And I do just want to let you know that I'm at my beach house at the moment, and I'm looking at the Indian Ocean, which is so calm that I could waterski across it. The temperature's low, it's about ten degrees Celsius, but the birds are flittering everywhere, and there's not a cloud in the sky. So don't feel sorry for us down here in winter yet. Actually, until the first of June it's still spring, I should say. So let's begin right at the beginning, shall we? Because I think the arrival experience really sets the tone for everything that follows. The moment you walk through those hotel doors and approach the reception desk, an impression is already being formed. Not only in the impression you're forming of the hotel, but the hotel is forming one of you too. So let us talk about how to make that first moment really count. So as I've mentioned, first impressions really matter on both sides of the reception desk. There is importance in arriving with patience and warmth, irrespective of how your journey has been. Please greet the staff if it's appropriate culturally, by name, where possible, if a name tag is on their uniform. But as I say, if it's culturally correct, and in many, many Asian and other cultures, other than Western cultures, the use of the first name is actually not correct. Please communicate your needs clearly and courteously. And do remember that there is an etiquette of at the last minute requesting an upgrade or a room change without a sense of entitlement. The words please or and thank you are absolutely essential. I think a guiding influence and principle to share with you is that the staff member at reception has an enormous influence over the quality of your stay. Treat them as you would treat a valued host, because in every meaningful sense they actually are. And checking in is obviously a wonderful start, but of course your relationship with the hotel team extends far beyond that first exchange at the reception desk. Throughout your stay you'll encounter a a huge range of people whose role it is to make your experience as memorably pleasant as possible. It isn't just the concierge or the porter or the housekeeper and the room service team. It's everyone you encounter. And I s I really believe, and people have asked me about this often, they say, Louise, you're too kind to everybody. I'm not being kind, I'm being polite. I'm being respectful for people who are endeavouring to make my stay as enjoyable as possible, and I genuinely believe that this is where the character of a guest is most clearly revealed. And so speaking of the people who care for us during our stay, I think it's time to address one of the questions that I am most frequently asked when it comes to hotel etiquette, and the one that causes a remarkable amount of quiet anxiety for even the most seasoned traveller. Tipping. What do you tip? How much? When and how do you do it without feeling awkward? So I'm going to talk to that after just giving you a few little suggestions for dealing with the people you interact with who are endeavouring to make your stay as pleasant as possible. Always greet the staff warmly, and as I've mentioned previously, and by name, where their name badge allows. A simple good morning and genuine eye contact costs nothing and means a great deal to people. When making requests, ask rather than instruct. Phrases such as would it be possible to is always much more gracious than I need. If a member of staff goes in above and beyond, acknowledge it specifically and personally, and not merely with a tip. And so what I'm going to do with regard to tipping, and I've got to say to you that I've actually done quite a lot of research over this, because I don't know if the country you live in is increasingly going cashless, but certainly my country of Australia is, and I know many other countries that I've visited in the last two years are also as well. So I'm going to suggest that this is a really modern etiquette dilemma. And people say to me quite often, Louise, you know, isn't etiquette a little old-fashioned? You know, it's terribly traditional. And my answer always is, no, I think it's evolving all the time. And this cashless tipping, I think, is one of them. And so, may I give you some suggestions? And as I say, this is done through my own research and using the internet, I must say, some of the time, but I have checked all the references. So the current solutions in order of preference for me with regard to tipping are the mobile tipping platforms. I mean, cash is always for me the very best. And I do say that if I'm staying in a in a hotel and I have people coming in every day assisting me with, you know, the making the beds and making sure the bathroom's lovely when I come back, I'm really quite happy to leave some cash in an envelope on my pillow every day for them. I know it's possible, and I'll talk about this later, to leave gratuities on the eventual bill, but I want to know that the people that are really helping me in my room feel as comfortable as possible and as at home as possible are actually being acknowledged by me in my way. But so back to the mobile tipping platforms. Apparently these are becoming much more normal. So it's Apple Pay and Google Pay. Apparently, Hilton, the Hilton Hotel Group is is testing app-based solutions. And so what you do is you look for a QR code or a card in the room, and you make a tip there, and the tips attract back to the individual staff member. Doesn't seem very personable. I'm probably old fashioned. You can add it to your bill at the checkout, but I really like to think that, you know, if you say it's for housekeeping, it's going to cover all the people who've who've helped you in your room, but I still do like that more personal approach. And I do always write on the front of the envelope, thank you so much for your assistance today. The room looked lovely when I came back from my walk all, or whatever it is. I mean we're we're all people dealing with people, aren't we? So let's show as much respect and kindness as we can. One of the other things, because in some of the countries that I've travelled in, it's very difficult to get cash out these days at an ATM. So what I have done previously is to ask the front desk to break a larger note into smaller denominations on arrival. And that way, obviously, the money, as I say, with my envelope or however else you want to offer it, goes straight to the person. If you've remembered cash, you can actually leave it at the reception when you're checking out, if you like, in an envelope saying, thank you for for housekeeping. But still for me, until I get more comfortable with these QR codes and things, it's cash. I wonder how you feel about that. Please leave me a comment or DM me at my Instagram page, the Percy Institute. I'm really interested in this evolving etiquette. And so people are always asking me about how much do you tip? And, you know, I basically divide it up into countries. So the strongest countries where tipping really has a very valuable input because it's also adding to the salaries of the people who are assisting you are the US and Canada. But around the world, moderate tipping tends to be more the UK, Ireland, and sometimes France, so a little bit there. I spent quite a lot of time in France. Lighter tipping tends to be more Western Europe. And, you know, please correct me on these if I'm wrong, but this is from my experience. No tipping cultures tend to be Japan, China, South Korea, and Singapore. Mixed tipping cultures, though they are taking on much more of the American etiquette, restaurant etiquette of more tips, are Thailand, Vietnam, Indonesia, Malaysia, and the Philippines. But in my home area, the hospitality workers are paid, you know, a general wage, which is very commensurate with what other workers are paid. So Australians don't tip as much. Well, that's the guidelines. I always do. You know, if I've had a lovely lunch with girlfriends or whatever, and and let's say I'm picking up the tab for that occasion, I will always add 10% or so. If I'm going into a cafe and I'm ordering a coffee and paying cash, I'll always put the small change in the jar there. So whilst it's not expected here down south in Australia and New Zealand, it's still appreciated for good service, but it's about service, not just the fact that somebody's plonked a place in front of you. When it comes to many other countries, a service charge is added, and small additional tips are welcomed. But as I say, this is an overview, so I would really appreciate your comments on this and how you feel about tipping in this day and age where obviously economies are struggling, households are struggling, and it's a cashless society. I mean, it means seems so silly to tap your phone on a register, a paying register for a small tip to me, but anyway, I think it's cash still for me here in Australia. And so now that I've spoken about the more personal interactions within a hotel stay, I'd like to speak about the spaces that we share with our fellow guests, because this is an area where manners, or the lack of them, are most visibly on display. The pool, the gym, the spa, the lobby, the lift. Each one of these spaces has its own unspoken code of conduct. And once you know it, you'll never look at a sun lounge covered in an unattended towel in quite the same way again. And I say this because I'm a fairly regular guest of a particularly nice hotel in Bali. And they've actually found it necessary to have signs of times when you are able to leave your towels on a sun lounge and where and of course when people don't follow the guidelines, some of the other guests will probably remind them. And I've seen situations where raised voices have become the norm. So pool etiquette in reserving these sun lounges is widely considered, as I think I've just alluded to, one of the most inconsiderate habits of the modern traveller. Remember that your gym etiquette, whether you're in a hotel or your regular gym, is exactly the same. Wiping the equipment after use, keeping music to your earphones, and being mindful of space. And in the spa, the importance of silence, punctuality for treatments, and respectful behaviour and shared relaxation areas should always be paramount in your mind. And so lift or elevator etiquette, holding the door and acknowledging fellow guests, and the art of a gracious brief exchange, even if it's good morning or eye contact, depending on the country that you're in, I think is a very nice touch. And please do remember that really I see it as an international standard that if you're entering a lift or elevator, you always let the people who are alighting from the elevator or lift to do so first before you enter. And then of course we have the noise, the noise in corridors and rooms, which is a particular issue in hotels, especially late at night or in the early morning, and one that is entirely within every guest control. However, if it sounds like there's been a huge party in the corridor down from you, rather than facing it person to person, I would always suggest that you ring down to reception and say it's three AM in the morning. I know my fellow guests are obviously having a wonderful time, I can hear it, but would you please advise how I can speak to them to stop it? But in preference I've preferred for you to do that for me. And so raising that complaint with poise and dignity is really important. I think that almost probably every one of you has at some point stood in a hotel bathroom contemplating the little row of toiletries and wondered, with perhaps just a teeniest hint of guilt, exactly how many of those are appropriate to pop into one's carry bag. Am I right? Well, let me settle the matter once and for all, with clarity and just a little good humour. Toiletries are provided for your use, and you'll probably like me find that quite often you don't see those lovely little small bottles that you could pack in your bag because they're becoming bottles which are much larger attached to the shower or the bath and refilled for every guest. But they are generally, if they are the small little toiletry containers, perfectly acceptable to take. But bathrobes and towels, they're provided for use during your stay, not as souvenirs. Many hotels will offer to sell you a robe if you admire it, which is an elegant solution. Stationery pens and small branded items left on the desk, typically fine to take. And I do love having nice stationery, I must say, on the desk, so that even if it's the envelopes that I leave my little tip in, I feel that it's reflecting the elegance that I hope I'm showing those who are helping me in the hotel. But also, I always find the good papers a reflection of the elegance of the property as well. My rule of thumb, if you would feel awkward if a member of staff saw you placing it in your suitcase, it should probably remain in the room. And so we arrive at the final stage of our hotel stay, the departure. Now I always think that checkout is a little bit like the end of a dinner party. The way a guest leave says as much about them as everything that came before. Have they been considerate? Have they been grateful? Have they left things in a state that reflects genuine respect for the space and the people who will care for it next? So how do we do this? My suggestion is that the way that you leave your hotel room reflects your character just as much as how you've behaved throughout your stay. Gather all your personal belongings carefully, and do always, as I've had to at various times, contact the hotel promptly if you discover you've left something behind. Treat the room with the same basic respect you would wish for in your own home. And as I've mentioned for those of you who have listened previously, I have an Airbnb, it's actually my beach house where I'm recording here. And I invariably find that if it's presented beautifully for the arrival of my guests, it's left very neatly and tidily. It doesn't mean, whether in a hotel or at my Airbnb, that you have to make the beds, but it it doesn't mean not leaving them in a state of complete and utter disarray and perhaps scattered throughout the room. Please always check out on time or communicate in advance if you require a late check out. And so as I reach the end of today's episode, I hope you're feeling both more confident and more inspired the next time you step through the doors of a hotel whether it is a modest inn, on a weekend getaway, or a grand resort on the other side of the world. I have a little challenge for you. On your next day, make a point of learning the name of at least one member of staff who assists you, and use it. If culturally it's not correct, please do acknowledge the person rather than using their name with positive eye contact, a smile, and a small nod of the head. Elegance, as I always say, is not about what you spend, it's how you make others feel. And a guest who brings genuine courtesy and warmth to every interaction is a guest who will always be welcomed back and remembered, by the way. I have trained five star hotel staff, and a very good manager will always suggest that the staff make note of the guests who have behaved beautifully in the establishment. And so, until next time, I wish you safe and gracious travels and all the elegance your journey deserves. Thank you for joining me. And until next time, stay graceful, stay elegant. Thank you so much for joining me today. Your time and attention are greatly appreciated, and I hope you've found our discussion both enlightening and inspiring. If you've enjoyed our conversation and want to stay connected with us on this journey of elegance and refinement, don't forget to subscribe to this podcast on your favourite podcast platforms. And why not share the wisdom with your friends and family? Etiket is best enjoyed when it's a shared experience, after all. And for all the latest updates, behind-the-scenes moments, and exclusive content, be sure to follow the Percy Institute on Facebook and Instagram. And please also do join my Facebook group. It's called the Elegance Club, and you'll get exclusive offers and bonuses. Remember, the pursuit of a more elegant life is a continuous journey, and I'm delighted to share your journey. Feedback and engagement mean the world to me here, so please keep those comments, questions, and suggestions coming. I love hearing from you. So until next time, my dear listeners, stay graceful, stay kind, and may your life be filled with elegance and joy. Thank you for being a part of Manners and Other Matters. Goodbye for now.