Faith, Fasting, And A Fierce Will To Live with Darinka Zupan

A single sentence changed everything: you’re not doomed. From that moment, Darinka chose life and built a disciplined, human path back to health—pairing monitored fasting and daily visualisation with music, nature, and the support of a healer who spoke to her as a whole person. This is not a tale of magical thinking; it’s an intimate map of agency, faith, and consistency meeting hard reality.

We walk through the early shock of a melanoma diagnosis, the confusion of lost test results, and the deeper fear that once defined cancer conversations. Then we open the door to a different approach: the Breuss method adapted with medical oversight, twice‑daily imagery that fits her joyful temperament, and a family routine that made the practice sustainable. Her visualisation is disarmingly gentle—two cheerful figures collecting cancer cells—and that’s the point. Congruence beats force. When the mind can relax, the body can participate.

As her strength returned, the calling widened. We talk about bringing the Bristol model to Slovenia, leading small groups and one‑to‑one sessions, and learning to “hold the rim of the hole” so others can climb out. Light first, then shadow becomes a guiding principle: anchor people in what’s good and possible before exploring trauma or cause. We also explore Human Design as a language for living by response, ageing with contentment, and answering life’s invitations without strain. The heart of it all is honest: the dragon was people‑pleasing. Illness cracked the shell and revealed a voice that now serves others with clarity and kindness.

Expect grounded insights on resilience, integrative cancer care, nervous system regulation, and the quiet courage of daily practice. If you or someone you love is navigating illness or a hard season, you’ll find both tools and hope here. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs encouragement, and leave a review to help more people find these conversations.

Chapters

• 0:00 Opening And Dedication
• 3:04 Meet Darinka: From Diagnosis To Resolve
• 7:16 The Mole, Missteps, And A Healer’s Words
• 12:06 Choosing Life And Finding A Method
• 15:56 Fasting, Guidance, And Daily Practice
• 19:46 Visualisation With Joy, Not Force
• 24:06 Day 28: Knowing She Was Healed
• 27:16 Music, Nature, And Waking Up
• 29:46 From Patient To Mentor
• 33:46 Bringing The Bristol Model To Slovenia
• 37:16 Hold Your Energy, Lift Others
• 40:56 Light First, Then Shadow
• 44:06 Service, Human Design, And Purpose

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 1:32

Hi, I'm Malcolm Stern, and in conjunction with my friends John and Sandra Wilson from Online Events, we're creating a series of podcasts called Stay Your Dragons with Compassion. My book of the same name was conceived and inspired by the suicide of my daughter Melissa and the journey that took me on and the internal resources that I found. My guests will have a story to tell around overcoming and ultimately thriving through adversity. Special thanks to the band Stairway, Jim McCarty and Louis Chenamo, the use of theme music from their album Medicine Dance, and my engineer Owen Santiago. I hope you enjoy this series. Thanks for listening. Hello, my name is Malcolm Stern, and welcome to my podcast, Slay Your Dragons with Compassion, which I'm doing in conjunction with my good friends John and Sandra Wilson at online events. I'm very happy to interview a really deep and close friend from way, way back, uh Darinka. And Darinka um cured herself of cancer. And I I don't say those things lightly either, because people often talk about magical, mystical, blah, blah, blah. But this is not so magical and mystical. This is more quite an extraordinary story of faith than resilience. So, um, Darinka, welcome to our show. It's very good to welcome you here.

SPEAKER_00: 2:57

Hi, thank you so much. Thank you so much for inviting me. I was a bit surprised, you know, after many years. So many years, but our friendship is you know eternal.

SPEAKER_01: 3:08

Exactly. And and we've known each other a long time. I used to work quite a bit in Slovenia where you used to invite me to talks and workshops. And I got to know and love the country, and I got to know and love you and all that you stood for. And uh, and and I think you've you've been a real inspiration for many, many people. Well, I know you have. And in fact, I think you were voted um woman of the year in Slovenia at one time. Was that right? You got an award for um yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 3:34

I was nominated and then I got another award, like uh benefactor of the year. So, but that's not important.

SPEAKER_01: 3:42

Very good. Well, it's you know, that you were you've been recognized for what you've brought to the study of cancer and how we might see it differently. And I remember you saying to me when we were chatting about this, that you the doctors consider you to be on remission. You consider this quite a long time back, and you consider yourself to be healed.

SPEAKER_00: 4:00

Completely healed, yeah. You know, it was almost 40 years ago.

SPEAKER_01: 4:04

40 years, yeah. And yeah, it's funny, one of my friends here in in Totnes um was given 18 months to live and started getting insurance payments, and this is about 40 years ago as well. And yeah, they're still paying them out on insurance because they're expensive, but but um it is a fascinating story, and it's a story that I remember pretty well from from way back as well. So tell us what what led you to this um this place of understanding and this this experience that you had of overcoming quite a um you were given, I think, weeks to live or days to live um when you first got diagnosed.

SPEAKER_00: 4:42

Uh no, no, it was a bit different. You know, maybe I'll go a little bit back. So I lived in in Ljubljana, the capital, you know. Uh and then it somehow happened that I had to move with my new husband because I was divorced. I had to move to a smaller place, Nova Gorica. Uh, and uh it was a big shock for me because I had all my family, all my friends, a good job in Ljubljana. But when we moved here, my husband got the job as a journalist, and I was just at home. So I had a uh daughter, she was 11 at the time. Uh, and um so it was really a big shock for me. Just no, I didn't have my roots anymore. You know, I had my my roots because I was quite identified with being a Ljubljana woman, someone from Ljubljana. And I never thought I would I would move anywhere else because I liked it in Ljubljana. But we just you know, life has its own plans. So uh, and I couldn't get a job here in in Nova Goritsa, so uh I spent a lot of time at home and to to get some to earn some money, I I I'm quite creative. So I I was you know doing some uh different kinds of like Christmas cards and and candles and uh and then I somehow, I don't know how, I started hand-weaving. I bought myself a room and I just knew how to do it. So I was doing uh making coats and skirts and scarves, beautiful things. But uh although I love nature, I like going out, but uh I was just spending all days inside, every day, all the day. And I just said to my husband, oh, you just take, you know, we had a uh um a son of three years, you just take him out, go go for a walk, and I just work and work, and and uh it wasn't good as well. So uh, and then after a while, I discovered on my left thigh on the back side uh a mole. And I didn't think anything of it, you know, just a mole, so what you know doesn't matter. And then a friend, a doctor, she said, Well, I told her, and she said, No, you need to go to see, you know, a dermatologist to see it, it might be dangerous. I thought, well, you know, a mole, nothing dangerous. So she took me to her friend, uh dermatologist. He said, Oh, we'll have to cut it out. Oh, maybe it's nothing special, he said, nothing dangerous, but just in case. So I said, Yeah, okay, no problem. So then I got a call from a doctor, another doctor. After a week, he said, Well, there's something more serious, we have to cut a bit more, you know, a bigger, bigger uh thing. So they cut out a bit more, and and I still I I had no idea what was happening. I thought, okay, no problem. And then I had uh another operation, and there was this diagnosis, melanoma, and I didn't know what it was, and now I know that I didn't want to know what it was, because you know, some some somewhere inside something in me knew, but I didn't want to know what it was. Uh, and I was just going with what the doctors were telling me. I was just following everything. I didn't I didn't question anything. Uh I say, I thought, you know, they are doctors, they know, and I was completely in their hands. No, no, nothing uh, you know, what that I would want to discover. So then I had another quite a big operation, very substantial, taking the glands out, and and it was a really difficult uh operation. And still I didn't want to know what this was about. Then uh I then I I opened, uh opened, then I said, Well, maybe I should see what this melanoma means. And I opened an old encyclopedia, and there was just a little notice, and it said that if you've got melanoma, well, you know, that practically they said you almost everyone dies. So that was, you know, I was really scared. But after that, we went to um um another place, Kranskagora, you know, uh uh an Alpine resort to for holidays. And uh this doctor told me that I should go to a local local doctor in Kranskagora to take the to see how the wound is. So we did go. I I visited this younger doctor, and I said, Well, but but can you tell me? I read in an encyclopedia that if you have melanoma, you are practically dead. He said, No, no, no problem. You know, you have an old encyclopedia, but nowadays it's you just we just cut it out and it's okay. So it was the first thing uh that really uh I said, okay, so I'm not going to die. And oh, maybe just I'll tell you now. Later, this doctor became one of my best friends. Years later, yeah, he became one of my but he he always knew what to say to someone because he was a doctor and a healer. Uh yeah, and he he knew, he just said one little sentence and and you know it helped. So I often went with him to some patients and I saw how he was working with them. So he was a big, a big uh, I don't know, light for me.

SPEAKER_01: 10:30

It's interesting what you say about also being a healer, because I I know that for me, if I if I have a relationship with a doctor or a professional person, an accountant or or a solicitor, whatever else it is, um, and I feel like they get me. I feel much safer in their hands than someone who goes, right, I know the answers. Do this, do this, do this, do this, and this way. Um that doesn't that doesn't do it for me. So what I'm hearing is that you actually found someone who connected with you and was able to translate for you in a profound way.

SPEAKER_00: 11:00

But just with this one sentence.

SPEAKER_01: 11:03

And that's all it takes. You knew that this was a as you said, you later became very close friends with this daughter. Yeah, but you knew that this was a a safer place for you to land.

SPEAKER_00: 11:13

Yeah, yeah. So it changed something in me. And also then I I read uh in a newspaper, you know, but at that time there was nothing. Uh um uh cancer was still, you know, in your cancer, you are supposed to die. And there was nothing in the newspapers, no, no talk about this, just this cancer death. So uh, and then I read in in a newspaper a little, a little small notice that uh people who who have cancer who uh just don't give up, who have a positive attitude, so a big percentage of these people uh survive. So that was another thing that I you know took, uh huh. Okay, if this is true, so I'm I'm going to do something. Uh and I remember I I this was a very, very strong decision. I'm going to live. And you know, and when I when I uh when you take a decision really you know wholeheartedly with passion, then things just start to happen. So everything was just opening for me when when I took this decision. But uh oh, and then uh um I was going to oncologist every three weeks, and um he he said, Oh, there's something is not right. Uh, you should go to the the big oncology department in Ljubljana, maybe we'll have another operation, so we will stay in a hospital. But then I went to Ljubljana and they just took a blood sample, and he another doctor, he just sent me home. Well, you just go home, you know, we won't operate you, you just go home and wait for the results. So after three weeks, I I'm visiting this oncologist. He said, Oh, the results were lost. Come again after three weeks, and then uh after three weeks, results were still lost, nothing happened. And so three times and I I I didn't, you know, I if I knew it now, I would say, well, take another blood sample, of course. But but I I didn't even think of it because doctors just know. So, and then I realized, oh, maybe I I felt like I was standing in front of a wall without exit. Because now I I later I realized that they were just waiting for me to you know to go. And they had they had nothing to offer. They had nothing to offer because there was no chemotherapy for for melanoma, and they were just waiting, waiting, and I just didn't want to die. And then I really, and then that's when I decided, well, if they cannot help me, I must do something. Then I I remembered I had a friend in Ljubljana, she told me once that she she uh got cured in France in a clinic of uh cancer. So I said, Well, I'm going to visit her. And it was a train journey for three hours. And um we met and she was telling me about fasting. I thought, oh my goodness, not for me. If I don't eat for, I don't know, a couple of hours, I've got a headache. But I was polite and I was listening, you know, she was telling me about another friend and in the clinic in France. They were curing people with cancer. And then she gave me, and I was, oh no, nothing for me. And then she gave me a book in Croatian, another book in in French, about this, the whole method of fasting, the Breuis method. It's very known, an Austrian healer. And then I was sitting in a train for three hours, and I thought, well, I'm sitting here, I might as well read this book to see what it what it says. And at the end of the uh, it was a small book, at the end of the journey, train journey, I just knew fasting was going to cure me. Amazing, because it he explained everything about how it cleanses your body and what it does to your body, and I just knew, and I remember now the the feeling. It's it makes such a difference if you uh hope or if you believe or if you know. It's a big, big, big energetic uh difference, and I knew it was going to cure me, and then it decided, of course, that's what I'm going to do. And then my husband, he was of a great support all the time. And he because he was a journalist, he knew a lot of people, and we somehow found a doctor, uh, alternative doctor 40 years ago, which was unthinkable. And uh and and then and he he was uh also fasting, he was he knew how to do it, and then he he received me and he's he saw that I was still I had still enough energy to do, you know. Uh, and he said, Okay, I I'll I will um be with you because in in this book it says you need to to to work together with the doctor to see to take blood samples and to see if if you are okay. Uh and and you know, he was really uh uh different than other doctors, and so he took uh the original method was 42 days of fasting, but then he uh uh he knew the ijing, ijing. Yeah, so he did something, you know, with little sticks on something, and he said, Well, 28 days will be enough. I said, Okay, and but then he uh he told me about the visualization method, uh, Simon's, you know, the the book. Yes, yeah, and and I never heard of it. So he said, uh, and he um he uh recorded on a tape this visualization, how you sit down and then you have some music, and then you see some I don't know, something aggressive, like maybe soldiers or sharks or something that uh attack your cancer cells. Uh so and and I said, Okay, I I will do it. He said, You do it twice a day. Uh but as I had a uh my son was four four years old, so my husband was taking him out you know for walks so that I had time, enough time of uh for doing it, and he was doing all these um juices and tea and everything you had to do with with fasting. So uh and and and I remember you know with visualization, I said, Well, I I tried. Then I sit down, close my eyes, and and then I was trying to see some sharks, something aggressive, couldn't see anything. Okay, I'll invite some soldiers in with you know nothing, and I was quite desperate. My goodness, so what do I do now? Nothing aggressive, and then you know, so funny. Then two little I I could see a whole lump of of cancer cells in my in my tummy, whole lump and individual cancer cells floating around, and then I saw it's so funny, I saw two little smiley like little men. One had a um uh a net for catching uh butterflies, another one, the the second one had uh like a bag. So the first one was you know catching uh cancer cells with his butterfly net and singing in my body. La la la la la. He was happy floating around and catching cancer cells, and then uh putting those cancer cells to uh into the bag of this the second little smiley person, and he was just taking those out of my body, so uh, and it was just going for a while, and then I thought, well, that's that's funny. Uh so the next day I visited this doctor alternative and he said, Did you do the visualization? Yeah, I did. Did you see anything? No, nothing, because I was ashamed, you know, of telling him what I saw. He said, Well, but I'm sure you you you you saw something. No, nothing, there was nothing. And then he said, Well, tell me. Then I told him, he said, Wonderful, you know, you don't have to, you're a joyful person, you have lots of joy in yourself. That's what you saw, and keep doing it. So I said, Okay, wonderful. So I was doing it, but then again, uh, this doctor, because he was from another another place, so we met almost every day, and he was telling me about all the you know um spiritual things and esoterics, and whatever he told me, I knew. And I knew everything, it was just hidden somewhere, and it was just just all coming out. And whenever he told me something, yes, yes, I said, I I know, I know. So uh, and I think it was later he told me that um how he worked with me, it was the only time with no no other person, uh, he did the same. So, and uh, and there were there were because my husband was a journalist and people knew him, and they were saying, Yeah, this doctor John Yannis, he's going to kill Darinka. So he was you know uh faced with a lot of uh hostility because he was working with me and and uh fasting. But uh so on the and and and every day there were less and less cancer cells in my my body. So on the 23rd day I couldn't see any any cancer cells, and I was a bit worried, you know. I said, Well, I don't see any more. He said, Well, you're cured, and but but I still did it for 28 days as as we uh planned, and fasting was not a problem, amazing. And uh because my my husband was making uh different juices and teas, and and there was a whole whole whole thing, and I decided, and that that's what's important. I decided that I'm going to take a year for myself, a whole year just for myself, because before I didn't, and it it worked out. So on the 28th day, we finished the fasting, and and I just knew I was cured, and then uh when I went to the another oncologist, he was a bit surprised. Oh, and uh, but that that was it. That was the uh but of course when I was doing the fasting, I also I took you know different I worked with different things. I prescribed myself music therapy, I was listening to music, but before music was for me more like in the background, but then I was just maybe lying down, having some listening to some music, sting, sting helped me a lot. Uh listening to music, you know, or taking in all these vibrations, and then when I was going out walking nature, then again I was conscious, I was walking with consciousness in nature.

SPEAKER_01: 23:09

And so your illness sounds like your your illness woke you up, yeah, and then you had lots of guides along the way, yeah. This new person that's it, that's it.

SPEAKER_00: 23:22

Yeah, yeah, that's it. The the uh this when I was faced with a wall without exit, that's when I woke up. That's when I woke up.

SPEAKER_01: 23:32

Often that's what happens with adversity. Obviously, I mean, obviously, lots of people die as well. That's like yeah, you it's quite an extraordinary story you have to tell, but it's not a story of sort of like a quack cures, it's actually a story of discipline and and of actually finding a way to actually take on the illness that you had.

SPEAKER_00: 23:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 23:52

And it sounds like the illness was much more than an illness, the illness is also part of your the your your there was something not well in you for a long time that you were out of your environment, you were sitting at home, you were flat, yeah, and and then you revived.

SPEAKER_00: 24:07

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, and it just woke me up and it uh as if it put me on the right path on my path. I I see it like you know, like a river life, and you just go flow with the flow, go with the river, and then it sometimes it's it's a little bit uh unpleasant, uh little bit, you know, not not easy to to go with this flow. So the river makes a like a detour, uh, and and there the water becomes very stale and little doesn't smell good. But so I I I I know that I was going because life was a bit difficult, then I was going uh not swimming with the flow, but going in this uh side side side part of the river. And it it wasn't good, it was um, but it was comfortable. Yes, it was easier, you know. I was just because in in the in the the main flow I had to swim and do something, but in this side side side river, uh uh it it was comfortable. I was just moving a little bit so that I would stay afloat.

SPEAKER_01: 25:20

Right.

SPEAKER_00: 25:21

It was easier, you know, in a way that that uh to confront things that were happening in in the main river.

SPEAKER_01: 25:29

Yes.

SPEAKER_00: 25:30

But life, I discovered that life just wouldn't let you swim in that uh uh side side river. Just pushing me out. I I have this picture how life was pushing me out of that out of that comfort zone. So and it it pushed me with cancer, it pushed me again into the main flow of of my my river, my life.

SPEAKER_01: 25:53

And I know that once you'd you'd dealt with your own um healing, you then brought healing to a lot of people in Slovenia where you were. And I think you you were involved in in the creation of cancer centers.

SPEAKER_00: 26:04

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 26:05

And so tell us a little bit about that, can you?

SPEAKER_00: 26:07

Yeah, you know, people uh usually don't want to talk about, but now it's different, but they're 40 years ago. No one you know would say, Oh, I have cancer. Uh but and I just know people when I was walking you know in the town, people would just maybe go on the other side of the road. And I understand they didn't know how to how to approach me, and then I was the one who could say, Oh, hi, I I had cancer and I'm doing well now. And they started to ask me, Oh, what did you do? How did you you know cure yourself? And uh so more and more people started to ask me about you know, what did you do? How how how can we help myself or my my family? And uh then I started to read more about it, but there was nothing in Slovenia, uh uh also in English and in French, because I studied English, I studied French, so I I had access to very various books, and and so I studied a lot. Um, and then I also went to uh Bristol Cancer Health Center uh to learn um you know what how they treat uh patients. So um, yeah, and then uh oh, and then um the journalists discovered me. So and I was never I never wanted to be out in public, you know. I was always wanted to be in the back, you know, just doing something. Uh I could work a lot, but not in in front of people. But life wanted me to be like you when we were talking in uh Ljubljan after you talk, and I said, uh would you come again in in autumn for another uh talk, another lecture? He said, only if you give a lecture about your story, then I will give another lecture. So I promised you, and that's what I did also. But uh then I was invited from on to to tell my story on TV, on radio, newspapers, and I knew I had to do it because although I didn't like it, but something in me knew that if uh if I tell my story, that you know, people will say, Oh, it's possible to to to to to to heal yourself. It is uh it's not that you just have to die. So because it was really a taboo at that time talking about cancer. Uh so and then I and uh and then I studied uh in Bristol, and um so we we we had a a group, cancer help group, and individual patients coming, so it was quite a big thing happening um with lots of people coming. Um and I see like this, I wrote something here. Aha, I and I remember um when in Bristol I was invited, you know, Rosie Daniel, of course, you know.

SPEAKER_01: 29:22

I know Rosie, yes.

SPEAKER_00: 29:23

Yeah, yeah. She invited me to be part of a cancer patients uh group uh because they have cancer patients for a whole week and they're working with them. And she invited me to be part of that group and with another friend from Slovenia. So, and I didn't know, you know, whether is it appropriate to be joyful, to be uh in your good energy, or do you have to be, oh hello, how are you? Knowing that there are cancer patients with severe disease. So it was, you know, uh, I didn't know how, then I decided, well, I'm just we'll and my friend Latka, we'll just stay in our good energy, but then it depends on how you use it. We weren't going like ha ha ha, you know. We were quite uh we had this joyful energy, but not exuberant, and then at the end of uh of the whole week, you know, we didn't, you know, as if these people were maybe down in the hole. We didn't go down in the hole with them, we were staying there in our energy, and slowly they they uh came up to to to our energy, and at the end of the week they were uh uh joyful also. And then you know John Christian, he came and and played some guitar, some music, so we had a wonderful uh farewell party. So I discovered then then uh it's you must stay in your energy, not if there's someone someone is is uh in the hole. If you go down in the hole, then there are two people in the hole, so nothing happens. So it's good to stay in your energy and and maybe help people uh come to to out of the hole. Um and then I uh when I was working with with cancer patients, um do you know about Larry Laurel Slechan? I read his book.

SPEAKER_01: 31:32

I remember the name of the book.

SPEAKER_00: 31:33

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I read his book. He was a psychiatrist. And he he he said that he was he wanted to work with the worst cancer patients. And uh, you know, trying to find out what was uh their patterns, what was happening with them, and uh immediately uh going, oh, what's wrong with you? What did you experience in your childhood? And almost all the patients died. Then he discovered that he uh first you need to uh find the good positive things in a patient, and then that's what I also did. I always uh try to find oh what's good in this person, and when they had some light, only with that light you can you could you can uh uh with this light you can um see the shadow. You know, when when people when they uh uh felt better about themselves, only then you can maybe start seeing what's what's underneath what what was the cause of the illness. So that was very important thing for me.

SPEAKER_01: 32:46

So that's very interesting. So um, because there's a whole thing of of you know the of positive psychology, which I find a bit twy sometimes. Um that that you know it's just only looking at the positive. But what I'm hearing is you have to find the positive to live alongside the negative, and then to be able to draw on the light from that as well.

SPEAKER_00: 33:06

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not not just you know, if someone is really ill, then just go, oh, we'll find the the the cause, what's what's you know, what's inside uh some trauma from childhood, and then the patient just goes, Oh, you know, you first you have to find something good about themselves, and then then uh uh see what if you could do something. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 33:35

So um you you say you work with people, you work with people as like a counselor, as a therapist, as a uh a medical advisor. What did you what did you do?

SPEAKER_00: 33:45

Yeah, I don't call myself a therapist. And then I studied um psychosynthesis in England with Will Parfitt uh and and other methods, but I don't I I I'm not a therapist.

SPEAKER_01: 33:58

I was more just the I don't know, a a friend or that's what I hear it's like a mentor, yeah, and a mentor for for people who are a mentor, maybe going through what you'd been through. And um it's almost like you you found a missing ingredient. I'm not undermining medicine at all because I think some extraordinary things happen in the medical project.

SPEAKER_00: 34:18

Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.

SPEAKER_01: 34:20

But I think psychologically we are still in the dark ages in many ways, and it's like you're trying to find ways of of bringing the light to people.

SPEAKER_00: 34:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 34:29

And you got recognized by by you know by the government as as someone who had something to offer, and um, you you had got involved in in setting up centers in in Slovenia?

SPEAKER_00: 34:40

With what?

SPEAKER_01: 34:42

Setting up uh a cancer help center, something on the Bristol model, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 34:47

But not not not we just had um um yeah, the Bristol model. We had um weekend workshops for a small group, 10, 12 people, and individual people coming to to talk with me and some other friends. Yes, yeah, yeah. Um, but if if there was some you know someone who had deeper warm problems, then I I always advise them to to to seek professional help. Yeah, because I'm not a therapist. I never yeah, but um uh yeah, so it was uh happening for for quite quite a long long time. Uh and then we also the the Bristol model we brought it to Slovenia. Uh so people from Bristol came to Slovenia and gave talks and lectures and workshops to some doctors. There were some doctors who were open, open, open for it. Um so it was the the cancer really was was um helped me to to um to become what I am, really. And that's what I'm supposed to do.

SPEAKER_01: 36:04

Yes, exactly. And I think that's um James Hillman says that when um when we find what it is we're supposed to do, all the demons that beset us that cause us problems disappear because we're then on the path we were meant to tread.

SPEAKER_00: 36:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 36:17

And I've and I've seen that enormous shift in you that actually you are you are genuinely happy, and I and that's quite rare, you know. It's like um I think that's that's that's quite special. And I think you're happy with very little. It's like you don't need to be to be having sumptuous luxury and all of that sort of things. No, no, but you're happy because you you are at peace with yourself.

SPEAKER_00: 36:40

Yeah, yeah. I yes, I'm not happy, happy, I'm happy, content. I'm I'm I have a good life. Yeah, and but you know, I see that whenever I go into my comfort zone, life uh and and just you know being uh going out in nature, being with friends, having a cup of coffee here, another friend there, uh then life just wants me to do something again. Yes, like with uh uh uh for example with COVID. Uh I I just felt the need to explore what was going on. I was exploring, studying a lot, and then I said I was sending information to a lot of friends. I had a whole whole group of friends, so almost every day. So for two years, I was really out there again. Yes, and then again, yeah, and whenever I whenever I I I go back to my comfort zone, it's just nice and uh nothing, you know, I don't have to do anything.

SPEAKER_01: 37:40

Life just brings me out that life wants me not to sleep but to do something for you, it wants you to be used in the service, and I do see that that that's our call these days, yes, is to be used in the service of something bigger than ourselves.

SPEAKER_00: 37:56

Yeah, yeah, sure.

SPEAKER_01: 38:00

If we start to serve, and I think there's often there's dangers in that because people create cults and all sorts of manipulative structures, yeah. But if we actually recognize that actually we've got this wonderful life and we can bring joy to people through through using our gifts, yeah, I think that's real magic.

SPEAKER_00: 38:17

Yeah, yeah. You know what? And and now um I think I told you last time that I was uh uh studying human design system. Yes, human design system. Um I I discovered it in kindred spirit, I told you, Richard Beaumont. And I studied it with the the founder uh in England, and then I discovered because I am a generator according to human design system, and I was always responding uh to to no life was asked asking me something, and I didn't I didn't it was not my my plan that I would work with people, I would do this and that, but I was always responding. Uh, like for they invited me on the TV, and okay, I said, and uh again, uh so it it's human design. Maybe if some people want to know, it's really helpful. It helped me a lot. So it also helped me to uh uh to see more who I am, how I how I operate.

SPEAKER_01: 39:24

And the more we know ourselves, the easier it becomes to be ourselves as well.

SPEAKER_00: 39:28

So yeah. So so everything I was doing, I wasn't uh uh doing it, I want to do this, I want to do that, but I was also always responding. Some you know, uh life brought me uh, I don't know, something, and then okay, I'll do this, I'll do this. So uh as if I I'm I've always been pulled out from and you're you're now nearly 80 80 years old, I think. In April.

SPEAKER_01: 39:54

In April, yeah. It's wonderful, you're not sort of oh no, women don't talk about their age, but it's like that's lovely that actually you're you've you've aged and saged, you know, you've you've actually gained your wisdom that way.

SPEAKER_00: 40:06

I like to tell my age so that people know, well, even if you're 80, you can be okay, you can have a good life, you can be happy, joyful. So and you know what? I feel um ageless, it's difficult to say, but I you're eternal.

SPEAKER_01: 40:23

You're eternally that's a thing.

SPEAKER_00: 40:25

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 40:27

So we're we're we're coming towards the end of our podcast, and um there's a question I always ask at the end, which is just a way of sort of like of putting a hook into it as well, which is saying, what's the particular dragon you've had to slay? What's the obstacle you've had to overcome to be who you are?

SPEAKER_00: 40:43

Uh-huh. Maybe um I never I never dared to be myself. Uh yeah, I was always maybe a people pleaser. Um yeah. So so I discovered who I am. Uh and and now I I I have no problem of of saying what you know what what I want, who I am. Um but again, it it always depends on how you do it. Yeah, you know, the way how you do it, the way how you say it. Um so becoming myself, you know, cancer. I I have a feeling as if I was living in a uh a hard shell all around me before. And uh cancer was like a hammer hitting this this hard shell, and it just crumbled, crumbled, and then almost then I started to approach becoming myself.

SPEAKER_01: 41:49

Wonderful. Well, um, may you become ever more yourself, and uh, I know that who you are is is genuine, is authentic, and that's because there's something about being your full false self, which a lot of people think they found themselves, yeah. Um, but actually there's something about really coming into relationship, it's almost like marrying who you really are.

SPEAKER_00: 42:10

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 42:12

So thank you very much, Darinkra. It's been really lovely catching up in this way and and uh and talking. And your story is inspiring, and I know that you've helped a lot of people. And oh, just before we go, there was an amazing sort of story you do you told me about um the doctor who'd helped you, who was in this very weird accident. So could you just get tell us that before you go?

SPEAKER_00: 42:34

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The doctor who who told me that uh Milanova was not something you have to die on. So later, later we became very good friends, and he was also a mountain rescuer. We it is very in Slovenia, a lot of mountain rescuers is very, very well. And uh there was uh they had an exercise um in in the mountains. There were five of them, and it's something happened um with a helicopter, and then all five of them fell into the abyss, and they died. So he was also he also died. So very tragical, uh tragical accident.

SPEAKER_01: 43:19

But he gave you a gift before he went, so that's very amazing.

SPEAKER_00: 43:23

Yes.

SPEAKER_01: 43:26

You are always an inspiration, and uh it's really lovely seeing you. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00: 43:30

Okay, thank you.