Prayer Investigator: Finding Joy in Unanswered Prayer with Dawn Damon

After 28 years of marriage, author Dawn Damon was devastated when her husband abruptly left for another woman. Having survived childhood abuse, Dawn thought the worst was behind her. Despite desperately praying for the restoration of their relationship, God impressed on her heart that He wouldn’t violate her husband’s choice. Though painful, Dawn shares how she processed feelings of rejection that echoed her earlier abuse. By drawing close to God, His presence became tangible during her grief. In time, He restored her ability to trust and brought Dawn a godly husband. Her story offers hope to those struggling through divorce or waiting for their miracle.

Reflection Questions: 

• Dawn mentions feeling like "the second victim" of her childhood abuse trauma. Have you ever felt like past hurts negatively impacted a current relationship? What did you do to address this?
•  Dawn struggled with feeling abandoned by God when her husband left. When have you struggled with feeling abandoned by God? What helped renew your trust in Him?  
•  Dawn shares how reading Scripture helps train us to recognize God's voice and direction. What role does reading the Word play in your life? How can you be more consistent?
• Dawn chose not to become bitter and angry but to pursue healing. If you're struggling through a divorce or broken relationship, what steps can you take to find wholeness?  
• Dawn mentions "taking the next right step" despite uncertainty about the future. What's one right next step you can take in your current situation to move forward healthily?

Linda Evans Shepherd is an international speaker and a best-selling author of 38 books including Praying Through the Hard Times. She is the CEO and founder of Right to the Heart Ministries which includes the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association, Arise Esther Movement, Leading Hearts Magazine, and the Arise Daily Devotionals.
Important Links:
Linda's Prayer Books: https://www.gottopray.com/linda-s-pra...

Get Linda's Blessing Gift Here: https://blessing.pages.ontraport.net/...

Peace Blueprint: ...

Transcript

dawn_damon_prayer_investigator (720p)

[00:00:00] My guest had an unanswered prayer. It really wasn't actually an answer, it was a no. Yet, she says she found joy in that no. You better stay tuned to find out what happens. Dawn Damon is an award winning and best selling author. She is a podcaster and a life coach and the founder and CEO of The Brave Hearted Woman.

[00:00:26] Dawn and her husband live in beautiful Michigan. Welcome to the show, Dawn. Thank you. I have been so looking forward to being on The Prayer Investigator. The first time you were with us, your story was about how God healed your daughter. But this time you have a story that had a different outcome that did not result in the miracle that you asked for.

[00:00:52] Can you tell us that story? I can. And you're right. It's so true. I prayed and I prayed and I did not get the answer that I was praying for, although I did get an answer. And the answer was, no, I will not restore the marriage. I had been married for 28 years and my husband and I were both in the ministry.

[00:01:14] I actually was speaking and teaching Bible study and he was an elder in the church. And I eventually became pastor in that church, not the lead pastor, but an associate in that church. We had three children and we were up to our eyeballs in the work of the Lord doing all those wonderful things. But there was something going on in the heart and the mind of my husband.

[00:01:37] He was struggling with the adult onset of what I now know is probably bipolar because he went into a deep depression. And then after he would cycle, he would go way up. And then this. Sense of a, almost a mania where he would have a new idea and start a new business. One of these times he decided that out of the goodness of his heart, he was going to go to new Orleans and he was going to help rebuild the hurricane.

[00:02:04] There was no talking to him out of it, so off he went, and I stayed home in the homestead, and the children were all adults at that time. They were moving out, beginning to move out, and he was coming home on weekends. He was calling every day, and suddenly it became less and less where he was coming home because it was expensive, and then it was less and less phone calls.

[00:02:26] Oh, I left my phone in the truck. My battery died. We're working hard. I knew something was going on. And I was praying and I was praying and I said, Lord, something's not right. My spirit was giving all the alarm signals, of course. And we women know those things. And so eventually I made the painful discovery that he wasn't coming home.

[00:02:50] He let me know that the marriage was over. He had found someone else and that was the end of it. And you know that after he told me that, and we can get into more details, but he disappeared. And I didn't see him for two years after being married for 28 years. Oh, that is just heartbreaking. It was very painful and I couldn't believe it was happening.

[00:03:16] I knew that divorce was never an option. We never spoke about it. We didn't always have the greatest of marriage. I always like to say that we had a very biblical marriage. Wars and rumors of wars, but we just knew that divorce was not an option. It wasn't something that we ever talked about. We were committed and we had a covenant with God and with each other.

[00:03:38] But I have to say this, Linda, I am the survivor of childhood sexual abuse. And I didn't know when I got married at a very young age at 19, I did not know that when I entered into this new relationship with my husband, I thought, Oh, the sexual abuse, the trauma is over. But guess what? It's not over. When it's over, it was just beginning all the painful aftermath of abuse, the PTSD that I experienced, the trauma, the triggers, the anxiety, some depression every now and then, and I believe that we really became victims.

[00:04:14] I think my husband became the second victim of my childhood abuse. Now, that doesn't mean that he didn't contribute. He had a lot of struggles. That instead of facing and letting God heal us, he thought, Oh, I can handle this. I'll do this on my own. But ultimately the level of discouragement and some mental illness for him led to the demise of our marriage.

[00:04:38] How did you recover? Is that where the miracle is hiding here in the story? The miracle, yes, absolutely is here. It's everywhere in the story. Let me just bring you a little bit into that pain. With prayer, I was just begging God for restoration. My prayer circle was begging God for restoration.

[00:04:59] We were praying the Hosea hedge of thorns around the wayward spouse. We were believing God. But even though my heart was believing God and my words were speaking it every now and then I had this small still voice that was just like, trust me, I've got you. It's not going to work. It's not coming together.

[00:05:23] And sometimes I would be tempted to go, I rebuke you devil. But that got louder and louder. And I recognized that God was beginning to speak to my heart and the answer to my prayer was going to be no. Not because God didn't want to heal the marriage, but we were dealing with someone else's personal autonomy and their human will, and God wasn't going to violate that.

[00:05:46] And I believe the Lord, just knowing what the future held spoke to my heart. And it was as if he said, Don, you don't have to go through this anymore because there had been some infidelity on the part of my spouse and it was painful. In fact, I'll tell you this. I was praying and I was crying and I was saying, God, why is this happening to me?

[00:06:07] Why is this happening to me? No, Lord. And I could hear the Holy Spirit say, Don. It's not happening to you. It's happening for you. So just trust me. And I knew God was letting me know the answer to the prayer is no, but your yes is coming. It's on its way. And did God use this time where you were processing what had happened to your marriage to help heal your broken soul from the past abuse in your life?

[00:06:36] I totally used this experience to bring me back and to once again, look at. My story, the trauma. I had processed it. I was walking in victory. I was walking in healing, but when this disaster and this painful experience happened, it looped me back around again to say, God, am I really healed? Or is that little girl feeling that abandonment again?

[00:07:00] I'm feeling that aloneness again. Feeling that you're not there for me. I'm having the same feelings and emotions that I'm all alone. And I can't talk to anyone because as a pastor, I had a difficult time saying to someone, my husband has run away from home. And I don't know who to tell. And I know the minute I do, I'm going to lose my job.

[00:07:19] I'm gonna lose my church family. I'm gonna lose my livelihood. It's all going to change. I'm going to be alone. And when I did talk, that's exactly what happened. Oh, so I was out there, but God, he was with me and it was probably in the scariest place of my life that the presence of God was the most tangible and real.

[00:07:41] And he. brought that miracle. I like to say I did get the Job second wave miracle in my life. So what do you mean by that? You got the Job second wave miracle. The Job second wave miracle. Although there was an incredible amount of pain and he lost what he lost, the grace and the redemption of God brought to him a future that was so fulfilling and so beautiful that it was hard to remember.

[00:08:10] Some of the pain of the past and on April 28th at 10 a. m. In the morning, the promise of God walked into an office when I looked at a man named Paul Damon and he was there as a financial advisor to help me in some financial things. Now that I was single, I had to work it out. And only God could have made that match to find out that man was a Christian business owner who was single and the restoration of the Lord began first on the inside.

[00:08:40] I spent a lot of time alone, a lot of tears. I went through a lot of counseling. To make sure I was healthy. I wanted to be healthy. I did not want to be a bitter old woman. It was not on my bucket list to die old and angry. And I kept telling God that Lord, I don't want to be bitter. I don't want unforgiveness.

[00:08:59] I don't want to be this. Please restore my heart. When you draw near to God, he draws near to you. And in fact, the Bible even says he's very close to the broken hearted. And so God began to restore a restoration in my life. Which did include a second marriage beautiful man of God, ministry, love, family, life, joy.

[00:09:23] And we both look at each other and we look at God and we say, man, God, you are so good. Oh, I have known you for a long time and I count you as a dear friend. And I have to say that you are as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside, and it just glows right through you. And what a wonderful story about how God restored you.

[00:09:48] What would you say to someone who's feeling that rejection in their life? You use the word rejection and that is such the right word because the rejection you feel dismissed, thrown away, tossed to the curb, you feel so abandoned and left alone. And I know that feeling it's real. And it's deep, and it's very painful.

[00:10:10] But what I also know is that God sees just like he said to Hagar, you are here and I see exactly where you are. God sees you. And he knows you. And I want to tell you, my sister, whoever's listening, the God of the future, the God of the yes does indeed have your yes in store. And he wants to bless you with amazing things.

[00:10:33] And I promise you, if you stay true to God and keep your eyes on him and say, Lord, I want to do your will. I want to follow you. The Lord will unleash. Massive amount of heaven's blessings on your life, the favor of God. I promise you the love of God, he will restore. And you talk about from the inside out, he will restore from the inside out.

[00:10:57] Let me ask you, Dawn, how does one go about learning how to follow God like that? I believe the word of God. If we read the word every day, it's the only book in the universe that when you read it, the author is present with you. And the author says, Oh, here's what I was saying when I wrote that through this apostle or through this servant, here's what I meant.

[00:11:21] In other words, the revelation comes to us that light going on in our heart and God trains our heart. He trains us to hear his voice. He trains us to fall in love with him. If you will, the Holy spirit, we can't even. Serve God without the Holy Spirit moving in our heart. So the Holy Spirit begins to ignite that fire.

[00:11:43] And I think of the word of God, like potato chips. I just can't eat one. I have to have more. I read the word of God. I get. thirsty for God. It works. If we draw near to God, he draws near to us and he begins to teach us and train us as he gives us his wisdom. When you read the word of God, the author is right there with you.

[00:12:06] What a concept. And I know that there are people who are saying, Oh, I just don't know if I can go through this pain. I don't know if I can face another rejection. Would you just pray for them? Yes, I would be happy to pray for you. For anyone who is saying that, first of all, my offer to you right now is to line your words up with the Word of God.

[00:12:30] Because His Word says you can do all things through Christ who will give you strength. You are not alone. You have God Almighty walking with you, guiding you, protecting you and ministering to your heart. So I pray for you right now in the name of Jesus. I pray against trauma and grief and fear and abandonment and rejection that it would not grip your heart, but that indeed it would be far from you.

[00:12:58] And what will grip your heart is the grace of God and the conviction of the Holy Spirit that says you will have a future. There is a bright tomorrow. There is a pathway that leads you to righteousness, joy and peace and trust God and follow him and my sister and Holy Spirit. I pray that it'll be just one day at a time.

[00:13:22] Don't look way out to the future because God's grace is For you here right now in this moment, just take the next right step and Father So will you equip them to do that? Give them strength and Lord where they feel too weak to even face the day They want to pull the covers over their head and quit I pray like sunshine you break through that gloom and that depression You give her the joy the tenacity and the opportunity to take another step and another day We pray this all in the name of Jesus Amen.

[00:13:55] Amen. And I'm going to add a tiny prayer to that, and my prayer is, Lord, thank you that even when others reject us, you never reject us. Even when we feel that we aren't good enough to come to you, we can just hand you our sin and our shame and say, we yield it to you. We give it to you. It is yours. We put it on the cross of Jesus and we let go and we let go.

[00:14:26] You love us. We let your love just pour over us and around us, and we ask for a breakthrough that we can see and we can feel the love that you have for us. And we pray that in the name of Jesus. Dawn, let me ask you, what final thing do you have for our viewers today? Be brave, my sister, and that's my message I write to brave hearted women.

[00:14:59] In fact, my next book is about to come out. It's called The Making of a Brave Hearted Woman, and in there I just talk about the things that we need to strengthen our lives. Most of all, I want to tell you, God has an amazing future for you. Don't quit on life. God won't quit on you. Keep going. My sister, because your best days are still ahead.

[00:15:21] And how can people reach out to you? They can find me at braveheartedwoman. com. And if you go to braveheartedwoman. com, you'll find me on all the usual suspects and all the links are there for you. Yes. And you have a wonderful coaching program there too. Thank you so much for joining us today. Thank you so much for having me and peace to you and God bless you and all that you're doing.

[00:15:48] Thank you for being a part of the prayer investigator today. And if you enjoyed the show, would you like share, subscribe, and we have a gift for you. It is a beautiful blessing that you can play pray in print. Just go to my prayer gift. com. And remember, God loves you, and He wants you to talk to Him. See you next time.