Prayer Investigator: Anger Management Through Prayer with Kathy Collard Miller

In this powerful episode of The Prayer Investigator, host Linda Evans Shepherd welcomes best-selling author and international speaker Kathy Collard Miller, who shares her incredible journey of overcoming anger and finding healing through prayer.

Chapter 1: Kathy's Struggle with Anger (00:00 - 12:30)
Kathy opens up about her shocking experience of struggling with anger towards her toddler daughter, despite her deep desire to be a loving mother and wife. She candidly shares her lowest point when she contemplated taking her own life.
Reflection Question: Have you ever struggled with anger towards loved ones in a way that surprised you?

Chapter 2: The Turning Point (12:31 - 18:45)
Kathy reveals how a simple conversation with a friend sparked a glimmer of hope, leading her to seek God's help in understanding the root causes of her anger.  
Reflection Question: What has helped you find hope when facing difficult struggles?

Chapter 3: The Journey of Healing (18:46 - 28:10)
Kathy describes the transformative process of God's healing in her life, including practical insights from the Bible, forgiveness towards her husband, and the restoration of her family relationships.
Reflection Question: How have you experienced God's healing power in your life?

Chapter 4: Anger Management Strategies (28:11 - 37:20)
Kathy shares valuable strategies for managing anger, such as identifying underlying beliefs, countering lies with truth, and recognizing triggers from past experiences.
Reflection Question: What techniques have you found helpful for managing anger in a healthy way?

Chapter 5: Prayer for Anger Resolution (37:21 - 42:00)  
Kathy and Linda pray for viewers struggling with anger, asking God to bring peace, hope, and freedom from the spirit of rage.
Reflection Question: How can prayer help you overcome anger and find inner peace?

Chapter 6: Encouragement and Resources (42:01 - 46:15)
Kathy offers encouragement to those seeking healing from anger and shares information about her book, "No More Anger," and her website for further support.
Reflection Question: What resources or support systems could help you on your journey of healing from anger?

Join Linda and Kathy on this powerful episo

Linda Evans Shepherd is an international speaker and a best-selling author of 38 books including Praying Through the Hard Times. She is the CEO and founder of Right to the Heart Ministries which includes the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association, Arise Esther Movement, Leading Hearts Magazine, and the Arise Daily Devotionals.
Important Links:
Linda's Prayer Books: https://www.gottopray.com/linda-s-pra...

Get Linda's Blessing Gift Here: https://blessing.pages.ontraport.net/...

Peace Blueprint: ...

Transcript

[00:00:00] Can prayer help someone who needs a little bit of anger management? My friend Kathy says yes, and wait till you hear her story. Welcome to The Prayer Investigator. I'm Linda Evans Shepherd. My friend Kathy Collard Miller is a best selling author of over 60 books, including No More Anger and Anger Management, Jesus Style, to be out soon.

[00:00:24] She's also an international speaker. She lives in Idaho with her husband, and there she is a mom and a grandmom. And Kathy, I'm just so glad that you are here. Welcome to the show. I am so glad to be with you, Linda. Now, you say that you had anger issues. Did you ever imagine you would be an angry person?

[00:00:45] Absolutely not, especially because my anger was towards my toddler daughter. And I grew up. Wanting so much to be a mom and a wife. That was my passion [00:01:00] growing up. So what happened? Absolutely shocked me. Tell us your story. I would love to. Larry and I married in 1970 and he led me to the Lord. I thought I had married my prince charming.

[00:01:15] We were so in love, dedicated to the Lord, but very quickly, I was shocked at how often he began to try to run my life. Now, I love the idea that he was very decisive. He made quick decisions when we were dating, but then after we got married, it seemed like he wanted to run my whole life. Life still went along and we had our first daughter.

[00:01:44] And then when she was a toddler, we had our second child, a little boy. And I began to notice that Larry wasn't very helpful around the house, and I was really irritated because I didn't [00:02:00] realize that I most likely had some anger issues that had never been discovered growing up. And so the more that he was gone, the more I felt unloved.

[00:02:11] I felt like I wasn't important to him. I wasn't loved anymore. And it seemed like The only way I could communicate to him that I needed help, that I needed somebody to assist me, was to try to express my anger. But then he just ignored me more. He was a cop at the time, he was a real estate agent, and he flew a plane for a hobby.

[00:02:40] He was never home, and I was so angry, and I began to take that anger out. On our little girl who was two years old at the time. Now, I thought that she was the only one I was angry at that point. To that degree. But it was later that I realized [00:03:00] I was displacing my anger from him onto her. And there were times, Linda, that I reacted in horrible ways.

[00:03:09] There were times when I pushed her down on the ground. I was constantly yelling at her. I was so Unhappy. She was strong willed. She didn't want to cooperate with my toilet training program. It seemed like everything was going wrong, and the more I tried to express my need, the more Larry was gone. And little by little, I even gave up hope I could be a good mom.

[00:03:37] In fact, one time after I had choked her, I gave up hope I could be a good mom. I went into my bedroom and I remembered that Larry had said that morning that he was leaving his off duty service revolver in the dresser drawer and to make sure that our daughter didn't find it. And I opened the [00:04:00] drawer and it was as if the gun sparkled at me saying, You better take your life because if you don't take yours, you're going to take Darcy's.

[00:04:11] And in that moment, I believe that lie. And then, a little voice said something else in my heart. And that voice said, But what will people think of Jesus if they hear that Kathy Miller has taken her life? And Linda, I had a reputation that represented the Lord. I led Our Lady's Neighborhood Bible Study.

[00:04:41] I attended church, but no one knew the horrible person that I was. For But I did care about Jesus, and so I didn't know what he would do because I had no clue. But I left the gun in the dresser drawer that day, [00:05:00] not knowing what God was going to do. If anything, that I would just, I don't know, I couldn't tell my husband what I was doing.

[00:05:08] He was a cop. He would have to arrest me. And so I continued on, but then One day, I was visiting with one of the gals that was in the neighborhood Bible study. And I just very shortly said, Oh man, I got so mad at Darcy the other day. And she said, Oh yeah, I have done that too. I just got mad at little Joey the other day.

[00:05:34] And I said, Really? You mean I'm not the only one? No, Kathy. I get angry too. Now, I didn't tell her what I was doing, but I left her house that day with just a little bit of hope. And it seemed like the Lord just gave me a burst of confidence that maybe he could help [00:06:00] me because I had begun believing that he didn't love me.

[00:06:04] He had given up on me. And there was no hope, but little by little, over a year, he began to show me the underlying causes of my anger going all the way back to my childhood. He began to show me practical ideas from the Bible. I also read books on disciplining children effectively, and little by little, as I began to love my daughter in a healthy way, she began to be.

[00:06:34] More, behaved, and then the Lord led me to forgive Larry for not being who he really couldn't be. He couldn't meet all my needs, he's just as fallible as I am. And so that began the journey even deeper of God healing our marriage, healing our family, and then giving me an opportunity to begin [00:07:00] to share with others that all of these years That have been the way that God has used us, Larry and I speak together and we have been married 53 years.

[00:07:12] Our daughter is a wonderful woman, a mother. She helps at her church, a loving daughter and wife. And I still cannot believe what God has done with a sinner like me and pulled me out of that pit where there was no hope. That is an amazing story, and I have to ask you, the Lord got you out of that pit of anger.

[00:07:41] Does that mean you never get angry now? No. I wish that was true, Linda. I do have a still a tendency, but because of how I've learned the underlying reasons, I can now slow it down. Ask [00:08:00] myself, why am I starting to feel angry, and then I can ask for his help, remember the truth that counteracts the lie I'm believing, and then take a hold of his patience or whatever is needed.

[00:08:19] For instance, the other day, it had been snowing up here in Idaho, and Larry looked out the window, and he says, the snow is gone. And I looked out the same window and I saw two feet of snow. And I started to get angry because one of my vows is no one will think I'm a liar. So Will Larry then said, No, there's no snow.

[00:08:43] It felt like he was calling me a liar. Because I wasn't speaking the truth according to him. But in that moment, I thought, Wait a minute. I'm seeing out now the [00:09:00] window he's looking at, and what he means is there's no snow on the street, so he can go run. He didn't say that. I began to take it the wrong way that it was about me.

[00:09:14] I took it personally. And I realized, slowing it down, I'm not a liar. God, you do not see me as a liar. Even if Larry sees me as a liar, that doesn't mean I am. And now I understand, since I've slowed it down. He's talking about that the snow person came by and shoveled off the snow. And so that's what he's talking about, and he doesn't think that way.

[00:09:48] He just thinks about it the way of benefit to him. And I was able to calm down and it's no big deal. It sounds to me like in some ways in your [00:10:00] healing, the Lord gave you a gift of understanding. And I'm also wondering what other gifts did he give you along the way to help curb your anger? He gave me the ability.

[00:10:11] To look at the circumstances and see whether they remind me of the way that I was wounded in childhood. For instance, when I was in third grade, my best friend Irene and I were talking. And Linda, she said something, I don't remember what it was, but I got so angry and I hit her right smack In the nose, she ran out across the street to her house, crying, sobbing, and I, in my heart said, Kathy, you better never get angry again, because you're gonna hurt other people.

[00:10:56] And that was a vow. I will never get angry [00:11:00] again. And so now, when that starts to well up inside of me. I can remember that the Bible says be angry and yet do not then that's the difference we can have the first flash feeling of anger, but we have to then take a hold of God's power to think the truth that he wants to help me right now.

[00:11:29] And regardless of the vows that I made or the lies that I believed, I can counteract them with the truth. And that makes such a difference. And because of those insights that he's given me about myself, I can now ask other people questions that help them get in touch with the ways that they believe lies in childhood, or Even in their teens, in their twenties, [00:12:00] and they can begin to recognize, wait a minute, I'm starting to believe a lie that seems dangerous in some way, and anger seems like the only way.

[00:12:11] But the Bible says be slow to anger and listen. Kathy, that is good advice. And I know that there are times when it's actually godly to be angry. We wouldn't want someone to come into our home and hurt our family and just sit there and go, Oh I'm not supposed to get angry. Absolutely. God gave us anger to be motivated, to be energized for justice.

[00:12:42] The problem is that we don't use it for justice. Everybody refers to Jesus turning over the tables and having godly anger, but his motive was to correct something that was unjust, which was [00:13:00] preventing the Gentiles from being in their place of worship. And you know the other fascinating thing about that story that I researched and found?

[00:13:14] Went through the temple, saw what was going on, traveled on to Bethany. Then the next day is when he came back. It was not a fit of rage. He also saw what was happening and gathered together rushes that were used to move gently the animals place to place. And so he did not have a whip. He had this gathering of rushes in his hand that he then began to move the animals that were being sold out of that area where they didn't belong.

[00:13:58] Now, he did turn over the [00:14:00] tables, but that was so that the money changers could not continue in their selfish means of getting money. So everything is not done just haphazardly. It wasn't a fit of anger. It was determined that he was going to come back and bring justice and righteousness to that space.

[00:14:28] Let me ask you about the person watching who is thinking that's good that you were able to get rid of your anger, but I've got a problem. How would you pray for them? In fact, would you pray for them right now? Oh, dear friend who God loves and cares about, he does want you to have hope.

[00:14:52] And Lord, I pray that you will give that person who feels hopeless, helpless, that you will give her, [00:15:00] you will give him just a fresh sense that you want to express your love for that person. And it means that you are going to, Lord, give. The right answers as they study the Bible. Give them the idea that you know exactly what they need and wrap your arms of love around them.

[00:15:23] Thank you, Jesus, for hearing our prayer. We pray in Jesus name. I'm going to add a little prayer to that, and that is, Lord, you give us the peace that passes understanding. Even when we're angry, Lord, help us to Tap into your peace to take a moment to take a breath and say, you know what? I'm going to rest in Jesus right now.

[00:15:49] I'm going to rest in his peace and Lord, we also pray that if the evil spirit of anger and rage is attacking anyone in [00:16:00] our audience, that it just has to stop. And I would like for you who is watching to agree with me on that, that spirit has to stop tormenting you. And together we tell it to get lost, leave right now.

[00:16:14] And we pray this in the power and authority of the name and the blood of Jesus. And Lord, I ask that you turn the tables over in their life so that instead of rage, they have your peace. And we thank you for what you're doing in jesus name. Amen So kathy, what encouragement do you have to share as we close the program today?

[00:16:40] Oh, I would love to share that I was so hopeless that I really thought god didn't care That he had no idea how to help me, but I want to share with you friend That he knows exactly the plan that he has for him for You I want to assure you [00:17:00] that God knows exactly what he's going to do to help you, and who knows, but how he will use you and what you learn to reach out and minister to other people.

[00:17:14] I had no idea he would do that with what I suffered, with what my family suffered because of my sin. But, give him. The credit he deserves that he is strong and mighty and loves you and never will stop. You've got a book called No More Anger. How can people get a copy of that? Oh, thank you, Linda, for asking about that.

[00:17:38] Here's my book, baby. It's called No More Anger, as you said. And it's my memoir, How God Delivered Me, from being that child abuser and also healed our family. It's available on Amazon and other places to purchase books. And I just hope that it'll be an encouragement to you. [00:18:00] How can people reach out to you?

[00:18:02] Oh, I would love for them to reach me on my website, which is kathycollardmiller. com, and that's Kathy with a K! Thank you, Kathy. It's been wonderful to have you today. Oh, my pleasure, Linda. Thank you. Keep up the good work representing the Lord. I hope you enjoyed Kathy today, and if you did, would you like, share, subscribe, comment?

• [00:18:23] We would love to hear from you, and we have a beautiful blessing for you. You can play, pray, and print. Just go to MyPrayerGift. com. And remember, God loves you and He wants you to talk to Him. See you next time.