The Gospel According to Jeromy
Welcome to "The Gospel According to Jeromy" podcast, where faith, humor, and heartfelt stories collide in a lively conversation about life, love, and everything in between. Join your host Jeromy Deibler, along with co-hosts Jennifer Deibler and Drew Powell, as they share the Dieblers journey from being the acclaimed Christian band FFH to their current path in spiritual direction.
In this engaging and candid podcast, Jeromy, Jennifer, and Drew offer a unique blend of perspectives on spirituality, mental health, emotional well-being, and personal growth. Drawing from their extensive experiences on the road and life's ups and downs, they explore the joys and challenges of faith, all while sprinkling in some humor along the way.
Get ready for spirited debates, deep dives into controversial thoughts, and heartwarming memories as they invite you into their world of faith, questions, and spiritual exploration. Whether you're a longtime believer, a spiritual seeker, or simply someone looking for meaningful conversations, "The Gospel According to Jeromy" podcast has something for everyone.
Tune in to join the conversation, laugh, learn, and be inspired as Jeromy, Jennifer, and Drew navigate the twists and turns of life's spiritual journey. It's a podcast that's as diverse as their experiences and as authentic as their hearts. Subscribe today and embark on a captivating exploration of faith, laughter, and the adventure of the human spirit.
The Gospel According to Jeromy
Jennifer Goes Woke and Representatives
Ever found yourself chuckling at the curious case of your own fashion choices or the quirky habits of those around you? Well, you're in good company, as my co-hosts Drew Powell, Jennifer "jlo" Diabler, and I trade tales and jests about everything from Jennifer's bloodhound-like nose to my symbolic connection with the industrious beaver. Our banter is a playful dance around the comforts of home, like that Wawa Cup nostalgia, and the personal styles that make us, well, us. From peculiar podcast moments to teasing each other's room-livening energies, this episode is a smorgasbord of laughter and self-discovery.
But it's not all fun and games. We peel back the layers of humor to reveal the raw struggles and triumphs in our weight loss journeys, and the formidable resilience needed to face them head-on. I get real about my aspirations for a healthier life, the psychological battles that tag along, and why it's about so much more than the scale. Our collective stories meander through the hard truths about body image and the lighthearted realities of beard debates, keeping it as real and relatable as those extra chins we all pretend not to notice.
Then, we navigate the choppy waters of relationship dynamics, where I, with Jennifer and Drew at the helm, tackle the challenges of setting social media boundaries and mastering the art of healthy conflict. Our conversation isn't shy about the tough stuff, including our personal stumbles and strides in communication, and the importance of reframing perspectives, especially when it comes to the daunting task of 'reparenting' oneself with compassion. Tag along for this heartfelt expedition that winds through tales of introverts, extroverts, and the beautiful symphony they create together—from New York escapades to the soulful strums at a James Taylor concert.
Hey everybody, this is the Gospel According to Jeremy. I'm your host, jeremy Diabler, with Drew Powell, our co-host and producer, and Jennifer Lois, jlo Diabler. It's been a fun week. It's good to be back in a hoodie. Last week I wore I was going to mention that. Last week I wore a proper shirt because I've been watching some of these on YouTube and I've noticed you know, in life I have three hoodies that I rotate.
Speaker 1:They're all the exact same size, the exact same you know, it's just my uniform and I noticed that it kind of looks weird on my Instagram and so last week oh, because they're all the same. Yeah, last week I tried a flannel and it just felt wrong.
Speaker 3:It's not wrong, it's so, so right.
Speaker 1:Well, last week's podcast was weird. You didn't say anything at the end where you usually get the last word which is the name of your podcast, the last word.
Speaker 2:The last word that's good, that's good. Yeah, that has to be taken, I'm sure. Yeah, I'm sure.
Speaker 3:There's actually a I think there's a news show called the Last.
Speaker 1:Word. Yeah, but you could still do it. Yeah, Jennifer Diabler the Last.
Speaker 2:Word with Jennifer. You didn't say anything that made us blush on the last episode either, gotta work on that Shout out
Speaker 1:again to my Northeast friends. The Wawa Cup is my new favorite and if you like drinks as much as me, that's a big deal. Is it better than Bucky's?
Speaker 3:It's never been to a Bucky's.
Speaker 1:I don't know if Wawa's better, but this cup just fits right in my cup holder and it just brings in a little of my Northeast roots which I'm getting into.
Speaker 3:So anyways that's good, because I'm moving to Connecticut, yeah.
Speaker 2:That's been established. What was I?
Speaker 3:gonna say about Bucky's oh, do you like Bucky's?
Speaker 2:I love Bucky's, except for I'm catching on to the scam or not. This it's not a scam, it's a racket, because I spend a hundred bucks every time I go in there when I take the family in. But it's kind of amazing and I love going to the bathroom in Bucky's.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the bathroom's great, but when you leave Bucky's you smell like Bucky's for the rest of your life. You cannot get it out.
Speaker 2:Well, you would definitely pick up on that. I think that's just. You have a very keen sense of smell.
Speaker 3:I mean it's the barbecue smell. I think they pump in a fake barbecue smell too, because it is so strong.
Speaker 1:I think you might have some dog in you, because we've talked about this before. You're impeccable with directions. That's a compliment Her sense of direction is it's unbelievable, like if we're somewhere and we need to get home, she knows she's got some hounds and smells. You're totally, and also that thing we talked about last week, where you're like focused.
Speaker 2:Like it's like you put it, you put a dog on a leash and they find the scent of something it's like.
Speaker 3:I'm a pointer.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's exactly right.
Speaker 1:I had some beaver in me, for sure I mean okay, Don't.
Speaker 3:I mean haven't we established dead beaver on the side of the road in Vermont. Yeah unpack that a little bit.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, I don't know, beaver has just been my beaver, beaver's following beaver's always been kind of my favorite name when he was a kid?
Speaker 3:I was named beef. Leave it to beaver. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:And I really just resonate with the beaver from the Narnia series. You know he was always like no aslan's coming. Help us on the way, don't give up hope. I'm a hopeful I mean, that's my political party is. I'm one of the hopefuls.
Speaker 3:Okay, I like that. Yeah, well, for sure I'm a push and up beat kind of guy.
Speaker 2:They hurt his feelings.
Speaker 1:There he goes. We've talked about this before, though, like I mean, some people are like, where are we going and why are we in this hand basket? And I'm like, no, let's, it's going to get better, do you?
Speaker 2:guys balance each other out in that regard, don't you think?
Speaker 3:I think I'm very positive.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, you're such a rare sunshine. I am, I'm just going to walk away from that one. I can go into a room and go. Well, I know what's wrong in here.
Speaker 3:And what would you do when you came into a room?
Speaker 1:Well, I don't know.
Speaker 3:I mean yeah, you would just bring so much.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I bring, like joy and happiness wherever I go. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:You light up a room.
Speaker 1:I so do.
Speaker 3:Drew, what do you bring to the room? Oh, I don't talk about me.
Speaker 2:I just bring volume.
Speaker 1:Mass to the rest Gravity. The room gets a lot smaller. I'm just walking.
Speaker 3:And I don't mean that as a fat joke. You're just very tall, you're a big dude.
Speaker 2:Why are you fat shaming me while we're recording? You usually do it when we're not recording.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah, I usually save it till you hit stop.
Speaker 2:You fat. Yeah, Drew, you look fat on that one. How do I do Fat?
Speaker 1:I noticed you did extra fat on that one.
Speaker 2:It was when you told me that my beard hid all my chins.
Speaker 3:That was the one that really hurt me. Oh, I'm sorry too. Did she say that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, she said, I like your beard because it hides all your chins.
Speaker 3:I never said those words. He's making that up. I know I made that up.
Speaker 2:But it's not a stretch.
Speaker 1:You can see her saying that I was playing with my beard the other day and she goes honey, don't do that. You already don't like that part of you.
Speaker 3:He's driving and he just sits there and pulls on his neck.
Speaker 2:A little gizzy part.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm like don't pull on that.
Speaker 2:If I shave my beard, I immediately look about 50 pounds heavier because I carry a lot of my weight.
Speaker 3:So what is the beard doing for you?
Speaker 2:It's just kind of I shape it to where it makes my face look longer. I actually have a fat face like a round fat face.
Speaker 3:Really it doesn't look that. It doesn't look that at all.
Speaker 2:I'll show you a picture If I shave it, because I trim this and I let this go longer, and so this makes it my face, because of like here. It makes my it elongates my face a little bit. Put a lot of thought into it.
Speaker 1:Apparently, I like a beard too. I mean for me. I don't keep mine quite as long as yours, but I feel weird if it's shaved off Like it's like oh man, no, I love that I can't understand guys that don't have beards, honestly. Really Cause like, if you grow up, if you could, you should kind of yeah, why would you not have a?
Speaker 2:beard.
Speaker 3:Here's his patchy.
Speaker 1:Thank you, you're saying about, if you could you should?
Speaker 2:Let's see how many insults we can put on one podcast. Thank you very much.
Speaker 3:Well, I'm part dog, so I can just oh, that's what set it off.
Speaker 2:That's what set it off. We've talked about the wrong way before.
Speaker 3:Is there a good way to take being part dog he's got?
Speaker 2:dog in him, he's a dog in him.
Speaker 3:That's a big thing, all the young young search, say now, is he's got dog in him, he's got the dog.
Speaker 2:That's what you, you want that.
Speaker 3:It's good for a girl.
Speaker 1:I actually had a young client, a football player kid, and we were talking about his siblings and I was like, do you think he'll play? And he goes, that he don't have that dog.
Speaker 2:They don't have that dog in him.
Speaker 3:Okay, I'm not a football player and I'm a girl.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we did play some football though.
Speaker 3:So are you saying I'm a female dog?
Speaker 1:No, definitely I'm not saying that.
Speaker 3:I see what you did there. I'm not saying that that was clever.
Speaker 2:That's a clever way of getting around that.
Speaker 1:Look, I carry a ton of weight too, so I have no place to talk. So back to what?
Speaker 3:is that.
Speaker 1:I want to forget about that dog conversation.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I bet you do.
Speaker 1:But back to this. I don't know. Here's what's weird is I was thinking about like starting to count calories again and stuff and I went. I don't know if I care, it's the first time I've ever gone, do?
Speaker 3:I. That's good. That's progress somewhat, is it really, though? I think so.
Speaker 1:Because I actually thought about it at the time. I thought is this a healthy thing?
Speaker 3:Or is it a result, or an unhealthy thing, or like I don't care?
Speaker 1:I was like maybe I'll just keep my shirt on forever, for always forever Well, the psychological experts at Noom say you're supposed to weigh yourself daily.
Speaker 3:I used to do that.
Speaker 2:Desensitize yourself to the number. Oh, do it Like, go ahead and just own it, just get over it and get over the fact that it's gonna fluctuate up and down. But that way you're mindful, that's my issue. I'll put on 80 pounds.
Speaker 3:And not even know and not be mindful of it.
Speaker 2:Okay, so like, and what I wish I would have is stop myself at 20 pounds. So, right now I started my New Year's eating plan and nutrition. I'm a health coach everything locked. It's a lot harder to be like okay instead of thinking okay for the next six weeks I really need to lock it in and lose 10 or 15 pounds. I gotta think okay for the next 12 months. I've got to. You know what I'm getting on my goal. I've let myself go so far and now it's like.
Speaker 3:I can't imagine you losing. However, what are you talking?
Speaker 2:Probably a hundred.
Speaker 3:No way.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:You're gonna look weird.
Speaker 1:You've got to lose a junior high kid.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:You're gonna look weird.
Speaker 2:A hundred pounds, I know but I'm telling you, I'm my highest weight of all time right now. Well, congrats.
Speaker 3:But you know what?
Speaker 1:You hit your high. You're high school. I'm a seven.
Speaker 2:I mean, let's go eat, celebrate what are we celebrating my high weight of all time.
Speaker 3:If you're at your high weight and you don't even look bad, other than the chins you're doing. Okay, the chins and the moves. You don't even know about the chins I'm joking Other than the chins.
Speaker 2:Maybe I have a surgically. No, I just I don't feel good. My feet are breaking down on me. I'm just, I don't have the energy I got to lose weight. If I lose 50 pounds I'll start feeling better. 15?, 50. Five zero. Okay, I need to be down. I need to be sub 300. Right now I'm up over 300.
Speaker 1:Listen. If you're just a listener of the podcast and you don't watch this, you probably have this impression now that we're sitting next to a person that, like, needs to be taken out of their house in a forklift.
Speaker 2:But you don't, you don't? I'm not, far from it. No way, dude. Oh my gosh, we're about to cut the side of the house out.
Speaker 3:No way, dude. How tall are you for real?
Speaker 2:Six, well, six three.
Speaker 3:You are taller than that. No, you're more than that.
Speaker 1:Well, I was shrinking, you are okay, your spine might be compressing.
Speaker 2:My arches and my feet are falling.
Speaker 3:Okay, other than that, normally before your arches gave out. I've been six, four my whole life, but I'm six, three now, okay, you're six foot four.
Speaker 1:I just picture our listeners getting that girl in her mind that you know that she's got the show and she drives around on the well she's 900 pound life or something.
Speaker 2:Six hundred pound yeah 600 pound life and you've got the thousand pound sisters.
Speaker 3:Oh, the thousand pound sisters is who you're talking about, those girls?
Speaker 1:I mean, that's not what we're dealing with here, not even close.
Speaker 2:I carry my weight well because I'm a big guy and I've got a big frame. And you're right, when I get down to a certain weight, I start looking very like.
Speaker 3:I start looking like Gumby. It would look weird. I can't imagine yeah.
Speaker 2:Jamie likes me to have a little bit of weight, but not where I'm at now. I got at least 70 or 80 pounds. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:You'll see. Well, we'll be with you through that. Thank you, yeah, we'll be here. I'll be here eating.
Speaker 3:Because he doesn't care anymore.
Speaker 1:This is the problem, I mean I think in every podcast we've done. I've gone to Starbucks first, and this is that's not just a coffee. This drink is a misto made with heavy cream, not milk, so misto is a half coffee, half milk Heavy cream.
Speaker 3:But it's not milk, it's heavy whipping cream. But, it's like so if we cut these out, you?
Speaker 2:guys are well hydrated. You guys always come in with two, sometimes three drinks.
Speaker 3:Listen.
Speaker 1:If you put Holy Spirit in a plastic cup, it would taste like this Heavy whipping cream steamed is insane. I love it so much. It's tasty, is it sweet?
Speaker 3:No, it's not sweet, it's so creamy, but it goes, it's kind of like butter.
Speaker 1:It goes right to here, like I'm serious, it's like I'm like I love these Instagram memes of like Peter, and is it South Park?
Speaker 3:I think it's Family Guy.
Speaker 1:Family Guy oh yeah, the one where Peter's sitting there and Is that the dog? Yeah, no, peter's the guy and he's watching. And Kevin, have you seen this?
Speaker 3:Kevin is dogs.
Speaker 2:And besides Is this Kevin or Brian.
Speaker 1:No, Brian, Brian's his dog and Brian goes something about. Like Peter, you really need to lose weight and Peter's like. I'm not fat at all. And Brian goes you have a gravitational pull, you're so fat. And Peter goes I don't know what you're talking about. And Brian picks up the TV remote and it just starts circling around the stomach, it starts orbiting and then he just starts throwing other stuff Peter has like this orbit around him. It's very funny. That's great.
Speaker 3:I mean I can't Again.
Speaker 1:here I am promoting.
Speaker 3:You've never watched. Have you ever even watched the show? No, I've only watched the Instagram reels but, I love them.
Speaker 1:I send them to her and she doesn't really get it.
Speaker 3:But I get it Fine.
Speaker 1:You just clean up yours.
Speaker 2:Quite a bit. I get it Fine we have a difference.
Speaker 3:It's a humor.
Speaker 1:Although we've we talked about this before we started recording. Yours has cleaned up quite a bit my Instagram.
Speaker 3:I haven't noticed it. I hate it.
Speaker 1:And there's no more warning. You're not you anymore on there.
Speaker 3:I know, I feel so constrained.
Speaker 1:You went woke, why did?
Speaker 3:not go woke. There's a big difference between me and woke. But what happened? I have to be good, because there's certain people that might be looking at my Instagram.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:That I have to be good around because of my kids.
Speaker 1:Well, the kids, yeah, but your stuff's funny. She posted this thing the other day. You know, a couple of weeks ago the Epstein list came out and she posted Stephen Hawking was on it, right yeah.
Speaker 3:Oh my gosh, there's so many. The parents are great. Awesome Stephen Hawking memes.
Speaker 1:She posted one that said, if you are molested by Stephen Hawking, that's on you.
Speaker 2:Oh, I remember that one. I saw that one Now.
Speaker 3:OK, did you find, because Hutch was highly offended.
Speaker 1:He was. He was like I can't believe the stuff you post, mama.
Speaker 3:OK, and I told him.
Speaker 1:I said that's funny man.
Speaker 2:I'm not the right person to ask why are you easily offendable?
Speaker 1:Not easily, ok, yeah, it takes a lot to offend me. Well, jennifer's called you fat and you're fine with it. Yeah.
Speaker 3:I did not call him fat, I called him tall.
Speaker 2:I've been embarrassed to admit how the things that I'm not offended by oh same here.
Speaker 3:Same.
Speaker 2:I'm just, I don't get offended yeah.
Speaker 3:I don't either.
Speaker 2:I mean I get my feelings hurt, but I mean, like other things like that are not like yeah.
Speaker 3:Well, there are so many of those Stephen Hawking memes that are hilarious. I just send them to him because I can't post them. And I love them too, because they are highly, they're pretty offensive, but they're so funny.
Speaker 2:Can you put them in our podcast, red? Yes, I want to see them.
Speaker 3:I'll send you some, because I have so many.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I want to see what doesn't make the cut.
Speaker 3:Oh, there's a lot that doesn't make the cut. I usually just send them to your cousin, Jace. He usually sees the ones I can't.
Speaker 1:And he's very funny.
Speaker 3:He's hilarious yeah he's got a good meme game you should maybe follow him. And then Lieberster and I. I share stuff with her that I can't post too. So I'll start sharing some stuff with you that I can't post.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, it's weird that you're being edited and that you're OK with it, I'm not, I hate it Because for so long you were like that was. The thing that would make her so angry in our marriage was do not silence or edit me, and I was bad at that at first, but I've learned now. Well, first of all, I love it. I love her sense of humor.
Speaker 3:You like the funny ones, but you do not like the politics.
Speaker 1:I don't care about the politics. I've said that on this podcast. It's not a real representation of you. Like you know what I mean it's like. If you know you have way more followers than me, but if those oh yes, I have so many.
Speaker 3:If that's all they, if that's all they know of you.
Speaker 1:I'm like well, that's not really a complete, you know, but I don't, I don't care, I don't edit you.
Speaker 3:I don't care about it, kids the kids make you think twice.
Speaker 2:Well, it's the kids.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, hutch has. Hutch doesn't follow me, sadie follows me, but it's because, sadie, we're doing um.
Speaker 2:I'm he's like I don't see this.
Speaker 3:I'm done with her.
Speaker 1:Well, he, he also feels like he has a little bit of a trigger and that's on us. We didn't realize it, but when she and I, when she and I argue about stuff, we, we sort of I don't want to say like it, but we like the debate. You said that.
Speaker 3:Well, we, we pretty much. When we went to new york and vermont and all that, the whole drive home from pennsylvania, we, probably, we probably, what hutch would call, argued not the whole drive.
Speaker 1:Well, probably not filled a.
Speaker 2:Bristol on, bristol on. We argue, but you're not upset. No, Sadie's.
Speaker 3:Like I don't understand how you guys can be like Mad at each other. I'm like we're not mad. Like then we pulled into chick filet, got food some christian chicken got some christian chicken and we're fine and they're like you just press pause and then you can. I'm like because we're not mad.
Speaker 2:You're just having like a debate, debate Well it wasn't personal.
Speaker 1:I mean we were talking about topics that we disagreed on and maybe we got loud but we didn't get mean.
Speaker 2:But the kids, received it as like they were With it.
Speaker 1:Well, I don't think Sadie cares, she's just more annoyed. But hutch is the one that's like I had to block it out, but I heard it through my headphones. Well, he doesn't listen to this either so he'd never listen to this. But you know I that I I actually told him when they said that, I said guys, I actually see clients who they're in relationships or their parents never fought and those are the ones that end.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know they're healthy Well, and so he was like maybe we didn't fight in front of you guys enough. We got a lot of fighting out before they were born.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's the problem they were born late.
Speaker 3:We were married eight years before hutch was born.
Speaker 1:But a couple weeks ago Sadie came in. She knocked on the bathroom door and we usually close the door when we're fighting and so we opened the door and she said are you guys? I said we're fighting, but come in, it's not that big of a deal. And it just ended like we just put a pin in it and we're like nah forget it. So I don't know that they know. I guess they don't have a context for that. I I'm not sure what's going on. You and jamie fight, yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, we, we, we hit the reset on our marriage about a year and a half ago, so before that we didn't fight much, but we should have, okay, yeah, so I'm a seven, she's a nine and she's a go along to get along.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And so I just kind of was unhealthy in a lot of my decision-making in Her mentality was like, if as long as it's he's okay, I'll be okay. So as long as he's okay, I'm okay. So she should have not. Should that's something, the right way to say it? But If she was here she would say that she wish she would have found her voice earlier. Right, but I wasn't receptive at that time like I was steamrolling I'm gonna get my way In one way or another. I'm gonna get my way and we're gonna do what I want to do and that's how we, that's what we lived, and that all came to a screeching halt about a year and a half ago.
Speaker 1:I had the same, yeah, 2006. You know yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Now it's wonderful because and I mean it when I say wonderful because she, she is Working on speaking up sooner. Now she's speaking up now. It's still pretty late in the process, which is just part of her she's a processor or whatever but a lot of times it's like she'll find her voice Not too late, but almost too late. I'm like, oh man, I wish you would have said this earlier.
Speaker 2:But she still doesn't feel we're still building trust right because she doesn't feel fully safe yet that I'm gonna receive it. So I'm trying to make sure that she Like that, I'm receptive and we're partnering on stuff and I'm listening to her and validating, dignifying her voice, all that stuff. So all I have to say is we've historically have not argued Enough or at all, and then recently we still not. She's just not a combative person. Yeah, we don't argue much, but we're definitely Listening to each other more.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know the gospel, according to Jeremy, is sponsored in part by seek wellness. Seek creates clean and research-backed products that make living your life and feeling your best simple. Seek supplements and skincare products are made with clean ingredients, free from Unnecessary fillers that our bodies don't need, using the highest quality ingredients and essential oils free from chemicals. And let me tell you about the coffee. Most coffee today is full of bad stuff like mold and toxins. Not seek coffee. See coffee is third-party lab tested mold and my go toxin free. Jennifer. Now use seek supplements and drink seek coffee and have experienced the difference. To place your first order, go to seek to live Com that's seek to live calm and under the promo code Jeremy at checkout for 20% off your first order. Again, that's seek to live calm. Promo code Jeremy at checkout for 20% off your first order seek wellness simplified.
Speaker 1:Have you had people tell you? Maybe not, jamie, but and I do think it can be jarring for spouses. I was actually at a teaching thing one time and A lot of the guys there that weekend were experiencing some life change and they even said they said, hey, don't expect for you to go home and things just to be normal. This might be jarring for your spouse. Um, yeah, but I I don't know. Have you had friends that notice and go? Hey, you're not the person you were, have you so?
Speaker 2:here's. This is gonna get real. I Don't. I don't associate much with any friends from before because and this is raw, but it's because I don't know how to show up around them anymore I get that, and so it just feels like this very transitional phase of life where it's nothing on them. These are people like family, but because I'm trying to show up in the world different, I don't know how to be around them in the way that I wanna be now, and so even when I think about being with them, it feels exhausting. It feels like going back in time and having them so it's not safe really. Yeah, it doesn't feel that way yet and like there's a version of myself that I'm. I can see that I'm stepping into, walking into and I've gotten great counseling and therapy on it.
Speaker 2:As far as I mentioned on here the loneliness that exists. But there is just this transitional time where it's like you don't we've talked about it Like you don't know, like who are your people, where are your people? And Jamie's, in her wisdom, said just yesterday she's like well, you're still discovering, we're still discovering who we are. So how do we even know how to engage in relationships right now? Because we don't even we're trying to figure out how to, and so it's. We're just in a weird season.
Speaker 1:Well, those people that you're talking about, they probably got to know your representative. You know we talk about this in my sessions a lot. You know, in the any it doesn't have to be all Enneagram language, it can be sort of personality type. But the Enneagram 3, 4, 5 and 7 are really prone to adopting a representative to go into the room before them because, like a seven or a four or a five, for different reasons, they go. Okay, I can't. I can't show up to my whole self in this thing right here. You know, for fives they're so introverted that they've adopted a representative. It's a. It's sort of a thinly veiled version of themselves. Brennan Manning called it the imposter, but I actually don't think it's an imposter because it's still a version of you.
Speaker 1:But those people, you guys said that really nice, mm-hmm, yeah, stereo.
Speaker 3:It's almost in harmony or something.
Speaker 1:Those people, people like us, you know seven, four, five. We adopt a representative and if we're in a place long enough and if we're successful, the representative is the one that makes the friends and builds the relationships.
Speaker 2:Yeah, totally.
Speaker 1:So if you go through a life change or a breakdown or something, you're like man, I don't want to send my representative into the room. I was the guy that they would send into the radio rooms and I just became the spokesman and actually little Jeremy's actually kind of quiet, like and reserved, but my representative is not Exactly, and so I would kind of adopt whatever that was and I've had to actually go back and apologize to people. I mean, there are people in my life that got to know either that or maybe a version of both, and it's been weird for them.
Speaker 3:On the other side, you were very much in whatever I don't know anyogram that much, but you were definitely three-ish. At that time too, you were really working in your Achiever. Achiever, you, yeah, I mean so. Yeah, that may not I don't know what you would call that, but it's like your personality is completely different.
Speaker 1:But you know, me is still me.
Speaker 3:Right, I know, I mean your person, I guess not your personality, but you were so focused, driven Da, da, da da. I mean, it was like yeah. There was no pulling you. I mean, it's like Hank, if you open the door, there's no, stopping him.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my dog Hank, he's the worst, not your child, it's a dog, my son Hank.
Speaker 3:But it was me like there's no stopping it. There was no stopping you then.
Speaker 2:Well, I think you explained how I feel. That's. You explained it very well, cause that's exactly like. I almost thought about having a conversation with my friends, the ones that I wanted to continue to hang out and just say, hey, listen, here's how I like. I almost feel like I need to hit a reset with them too, because I've always been like when we hang out, I'm always the life of the party, the host, the one making sure everyone, and I'm like I don't want to do that, that's exactly. I just want to sit quiet in the corner, sometimes just like taking the. You know, and I think a lot of sevens feel that way Like they're like hey, there's, there's more to me than what I'm presenting right now, and then then we go off and feel misunderstood and stuff like we're not always want to be the fun one or whatever.
Speaker 1:Well, the thing that people don't understand about sevens and this is the hard reality is that they're sad and they're trying not to be, and so you might show up into rooms now where your representative was always happy, and maybe you're not happy, and so you want to be able to feel safe and sad, you know.
Speaker 1:I think that is funny. We were. We usually hosted Thanksgiving, but there was one year that we were here alone and Cully and Jason remember they had that Thanksgiving meal and their friends aren't from here either, and so they just invited a whole bunch of friends over and we tried to fry a turkey or fry it, deep fry it.
Speaker 1:And we ended up deep frying anything we could find. But he and so I'm going to say this about Australians, and I don't mean this in a negative sense. We have some Australian friends that were also there and my experience with Australians is that they'll pretty much say it, you know, yeah, they're very forthright.
Speaker 3:Very direct.
Speaker 1:Our friend Mia. We were songwriting one day and she came into a songwriting session Might have been the day we wrote Undone and she was telling me about that morning. She had pulled into a parking lot and someone had stolen her space and she went up to them, knocked on the window and said hey, why did you do that?
Speaker 2:That was my space, which I'm like yeah, that's so un-American, we would do that.
Speaker 1:You're not just give them the finger and move on. But anyways, we're at this Thanksgiving meal and there was one of the artists that had opened up for us on the road was there and he was right beside me.
Speaker 3:Australian guy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and we were just all talking and it was kind of like a record screech because in the middle of the meal he just looked at me and he's like Jeremy, what happened to the arrogant jerk I was on the road with? But he didn't say it like that. No, he was very mean and it was like everyone just stopped and looked.
Speaker 3:It was so uncomfortable.
Speaker 1:It was a huge table of people and I really didn't know how to respond because in a way, he was he was kind of right. Probably he was getting to know a version of me that he didn't know and I think he was maybe more like the old version. Better, and that's the hard. Truth is that I'm not nearly as interesting as I was during that time. I mean, I'm not nearly as fun but I gotta be me. I think it's funny that I was. How far are we into this podcast About almost 30 minutes?
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:I'll just we gotta stop here in about 10, but Sadie's got a dance class, she needs to get to. But we I was talking to a client this morning and she had this kind of epiphany over the holidays about how she realized that she hadn't really ever felt worthy in kind of the system she's in. And she kind of realized over the holiday. She's like I realized that's actually not a me problem. They just don't understand me and I have always felt of less value because I don't do what they do. They're highly successful achievers, phds, and if she's an artist, and so we were talking about I said, tell me about that word worthy. I said what do you mean when you say that? And there was this long silence because she said I don't know what I mean, I just know that I felt it and that I feel it. And I said well, can I take a stab at it? And she's like, yeah, sure.
Speaker 1:I said you know worthy has to do with value and in their system the hard truth is, in their system maybe you don't have as much worth. And I was talking, I talked about sports and I said you know, if you're a basketball player, you wanna go to the NBA. You make an agreement that okay, this is how much I'm worth For what I do on a basketball court, and I said the problem is it bleeds into the rest of your life and maybe in the system that they're in, you don't. You don't work at a college, you don't have PhD, play music, but that has kind of bled into the rest of your life now.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And you might need to detangle that a bit. And she was just like, yeah, that is totally it. And so she's thinking, maybe a geographical move, like she might actually need to just put some distance, sure, but it's not because of them, it's because of just her internal conversation is like I might need something new.
Speaker 2:How do you help your clients? I'm just getting some free spiritual direction here, but how do you help your clients know how to reemerge? Because I'm sure there's a lot of people listening that this resonates with right Like. They're like man, I'm not who I was, I'm trying to be this, you know, but they're stuck in that. What's the next best, next step?
Speaker 1:Well, the first thing I ask them if they're comfortable with is like let's identify it, you know. It's just like exploring. I mean, we're just going backwards into the you know their territory, and so let's identify it and then let's try to name it. And it's what explorers do you know? They find a new animal and they describe it and then they give it a name you know pterodactyl or whatever.
Speaker 3:It's an old explorer.
Speaker 1:Shut up Pterodactyl, so anyways. So we kind of I'll go hey, do you remember when you started to feel that way, you know like what you know, when you started to feel different or? And so we didn't do this today? But you know, some of my clients go yeah, I kind of do remember not feeling this way and I was like, well, okay, maybe let's figure out what happened. And and so we, we kind of talked through it and there's some questions that my training, I've learned to ask, but they're not, they're nothing that I mean anybody could do this. And so I tell people that I mean I'm not licensed or anything. You know. I say, look, I learned all this by doing it and then I got some training, but it's.
Speaker 3:You got a lot of training.
Speaker 1:Okay, I did, but still.
Speaker 2:He has, like he's just out here going Seriously Anyway.
Speaker 1:So but so I would say let's identify, let's give it a name, because if you identify something, you give it a name. Yeah, you can kind of, okay, now I see what you are and what you look like, and that, whatever that message is, that narrative is now I see where that came from, yeah, and once you can kind of see something's origin, you can kind of go okay, now I realize why I feel that way, and so then we would do that, and then maybe, you know, over the next couple of months we might keep showing up to that.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Remember that's still there. You know that message is still there and you know it's, it's yours to do what you want with yeah, you know what I mean. Like you can just acknowledge that it's there and go, oh hi, yeah, onwardness. Yeah, there it is. But you know, and this is. This is what I guess makes spiritual direction different, is that you kind of ask the Lord to inform it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And the truth is, you know, the New Testament writers said in the kingdom there's no slave or free, there's no man or woman, there's no child, no adult. We all get all of God and the whole. I mean the.
Speaker 1:The point of that verse is about value and worthiness because, women and slaves were possessions, they had a monetary value and children weren't worth anything. I mean a lot of children. A quarter of them didn't survive past childbirth. So you know, we got to know in that culture what the writers were saying is look, everybody gets all of God and so in God's kingdom or economy or system, we're all worthy, and that we've heard that a lot. You know we're all worthy, but we've also heard I'm not worthy, I'm filthy rags. You know what I mean. So there are some conflict, conflicting things, sure, and so we kind of stick with it and we just go okay, just remember this measuring, like we don't have to figure out what you're worth, we just get rid of the measure altogether.
Speaker 1:That's good, like two plus two. We just take that out. In a spiritual economy, we're all just the same. You know, say, I told my client today our son used to, for a minute, collected coins and so he would get a coin. And then we would go to a guy and we could say how much is this worth? And we're all the same coin. You know, we're all worth the same, yeah.
Speaker 3:I was listening to a podcast today and the guy was talking about how he will. He does these I guess they're like retreat things, I don't know, but he was. He has these guys and he'll say hey, just ask God. Just let's just right now, everybody just ask God, what do you think about me as a dad? And they're like I don't want to do it. He said they all say I don't want to do that. And he says why don't you want to do that? And they said because I think he's going to be disappointed with me and because I don't do what they do or what you know, they compare themselves to other people. And he said then they are quiet for a minute and then they all go around the room and tell what they felt. Like God said.
Speaker 2:And they were like cry, because they're like I'm proud of you, you're doing a good job, and.
Speaker 3:God he said God does not talk to you like that. God doesn't talk to the woman at the well, who you know, the woman caught in adultery. He doesn't say you're filthy, he says daughter. You know he calls her daughter, he calls these people, you know he's, he's. That isn't how God speaks to you, god, you know that's just not. That's not God.
Speaker 1:Well, I tell people, god's favorite word is yes, and we think God's just always going to say no no bad. And God's favorite word is yeah, yes, go kill it. Yeah, like you got this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but that's a different mentality, for a lot of us were not raised that way at all. Right, yeah, it's a different mentality.
Speaker 1:I think I believe in my kids more than they believe in themselves.
Speaker 2:For sure, I don't know why but I'm like you got this dude For sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And you see the potential, Like I know. Every time I'm watching AJ play basketball or Bentley play about whatever it is they're doing, I'm always like, I'm proud of them and I'm like I know like there's more in there too. Yeah. Like you're going to be even better than this at some point.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's so cool. I love that. That's I mean, that's the gift of reparenting you know you have kids and then you go. Oh, this is what that love feels like.
Speaker 2:Well, anytime I've done that kind of exercise, like you just mentioned it is it is always so powerful, like when I talk to myself as God I've only done it two or three times and like a group setting where it was guided. I don't do it Just. I mean I could, but I don't do it at home all the time. But it's so amazing, like what I hear God say to me from my own mouth.
Speaker 2:I'm like oh you know, when I really get step into that spot, I'm like, oh, so there's something in us that I feel like has that knows, but we just we don't live with that mindset, you feel that way as a mom.
Speaker 3:What.
Speaker 1:Like God's not proud of you.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I mean probably, if I, if I actually sat around thought about it.
Speaker 1:Well, I've heard you say in the past month that you feel like you're failing as a mom.
Speaker 3:Oh well, right.
Speaker 1:But then I go that's me.
Speaker 3:I don't know if I feel like God. I'm not like bringing God into that necessarily. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Let's keep out of it. Let's keep out of my parenting Okay. Well, you did just mock your kid earlier and say poor baby to him.
Speaker 3:So just a poor baby.
Speaker 1:Him's feelings.
Speaker 3:If I felt like it okay, if it was something, I mean, if we had really been fighting yeah, we have done that.
Speaker 1:We have said hey, we're sorry that got a little. Yeah, that was a little too much.
Speaker 3:Can I go back to the representative because I had a friend who told me the day. She said do you think you're an introvert or an extrovert? I said I'm an introvert and she said I don't think so. She said cause she went to New York with me on Sadie's birthday trip. And she said because everywhere we go I like to talk to people. I love to find out like just to talk to. I love to meet new people. She's like you talked to everyone in New York city and learned all about them. I'm like, yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1:You do love it.
Speaker 3:But I don't love a second date, and that's where I have to show up.
Speaker 1:So the representative shows up.
Speaker 3:The representative loves. I love, I do love to meet people, but the second date is when they want to know about me and I'm like I don't talk about me.
Speaker 1:Well, that's what happened with the lady that gave you the facial Cause. You actually really wanted to know about her life.
Speaker 3:I really did, and it freaked her out.
Speaker 1:And she thought you were a government plan which we don't know what we don't know.
Speaker 3:Listen she never.
Speaker 2:she hasn't denied, she's not.
Speaker 1:Podcast one, we established the reasonable doubt that Jennifer might be working for the.
Speaker 3:CIA? Listen, I could be, and you'll never know that could be your.
Speaker 2:Your seven and health right, that could be your no, I go to seven and not health.
Speaker 1:She goes to eight in health, and I really do think it's health Like eight in health. She. I think that she's a true ambiverted person because there are times where she just she wants to meet people. Yeah, she wants so much to know things Like.
Speaker 3:So I think like we were like. If I hear someone with an accent that I don't recognize, it will literally I can't handle it.
Speaker 2:I got to go ask them.
Speaker 3:And the other day we were, we were, it was at Hamilton, whenever we were waiting in line and the guy is like going by, going hey, everybody, that's here, you know, and he's works for the theater and he had an accent that I didn't. I'm like where is he from? Let's say he goes. It is not going to kill you to not ask him that. I'm like okay, but it might I mean like it? Kills me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Our kids have. They have seen it in action and then they'll just go. Mama, don't mama, mama, please. They know before it happens like someone might go. I like horses, oh no. I love that or I like the government.
Speaker 3:No, I don't know. I usually not this. I don't, I don't. I usually like I feel it out a lot before. I go there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she's got a lot of tact. I feel it out a lot, but if I'm on Instagram, remind me remind me on this next time, remind me to do the thought experiment of your basic emotional posture, because there's like there's, there's this thing seen that you can set and you can define, like what instinct you have.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, that's fun to do. It is. It is really fun.
Speaker 1:It's fun, it's not, it's not super deep, but it's really helpful to know.
Speaker 3:Oh, that's really helped me.
Speaker 1:So you have like three instinctual cards that every mammal has, but we all sort of have a top card and a bottom card, and it's actually helpful to know oh, that is my top card and oh, my bottom card because your bottom card is your complete blind spot. Yeah, like you never play that card, and I have one that I have trouble playing and she's like please use some social awareness.
Speaker 3:Oh my gosh, it's so bad, it's so bad.
Speaker 1:Tune in next week. All right, you're, are you in town for a little bit? Yeah, okay, we are heading out to the West. We're going Montana and Wyoming.
Speaker 2:I'm going to get that last pin Wow.
Speaker 1:Lord willing, if a Legion Airlines takes us there safely, I get that last pin. We'll both be playing music in Jackson Hole. That's a weird thing to say Jackson's, jackson's.
Speaker 3:Jackson's hole, jackson hole Jackson's hole?
Speaker 2:It's not. It's not a person named Jackson.
Speaker 1:We'll be in Jackson's hole, jackson's pie hole. And then we'll be.
Speaker 3:I ate that. I came to the North I said Jackson's pie hole.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there you go. Oh well, that's not where I went.
Speaker 1:I know it is Clearly.
Speaker 3:I was trying to clean it up. Yeah, so Jackson hole, believe it or not.
Speaker 1:And then we are in Bozeman for a little bit and then we're back here with you. So fun, so we'll see you right after we got back, so that'll be fun to talk about. I'm living vicariously through your adventures. Well, you're in Denver a lot, and Denver's paradise. It's nice out there. Mountains man I'm, I was an all beach person, but mountains are mountains, man. They're definitely coming up like on my. Would I choose mountains or ocean? And I still think I tip ocean, yeah, but I man, I'm mountains or you are such an oceany person.
Speaker 1:I am but man the snowy mountains, I just I love them.
Speaker 3:They seem dreamlike yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh great, James Taylor reference JT. The Berkshires seem dreamlike on account of that frost. Yeah, yeah, rockabye, sweet baby James Love it my favorite, favorite artist of all time. Is he really?
Speaker 2:James Taylor. Oh yeah, Got to see him year last, year two years ago.
Speaker 1:How was?
Speaker 2:it.
Speaker 1:Okay, believe. I'm so glad you said that Cause you know artists that you know we're no, he's not lost anything.
Speaker 2:His band he had Steve Gatt on the drums, he's just all star band he, um, he, uh, he was amazing. So humble, just came out like he's not. There's no big fanfare, Just walked up Jackson. Brown open, and then he just like came out Jackson Brown open.
Speaker 1:Yeah, came out, sang a song with him, Yep.
Speaker 2:Oh man, and it sounded. Bridgestone normally doesn't sound great Um for me, but where I was sitting in the mix it sounded like a record. It was unbelievable.
Speaker 1:You're in the VIP, no the artist circle.
Speaker 2:I was a cheap? No, we weren't cheap. She's actually paid good for. I was like this is my bucket list artist.
Speaker 3:I'm going to get good seats. Yeah, you got to see him, so I never heard that before.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, jt did my bucket list, love them.
Speaker 1:I would love to see Billy Joel, but I don't know if I want to see this version of him because he's now he's pitched his stuff down yeah so low. It's like nine o'clock gone.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm at a place where it's like Billy Joel. I'm like. I want to see like legacy artists now I don't want to go through them.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I can hardly go to a concert. I bet I can't stand it.
Speaker 1:When dad was really. Dad was high up in the car franchise business. He was part of a group of Mercedes dealers and he'd be so proud for me to tell a story. They took the 20 biggest Mercedes franchises in the country. They took them over to Vancouver for a week and just had a group and one of the nights they had rented out a little theater and none of the people knew what was going to go on. And he said we were just sitting there, we had no idea what was coming. And he said Elton John walked out on the stage. No way. He just said hey everybody, I'm Elton John. Play for 90 minutes.
Speaker 2:No way, how cool is that? Oh, that's cool.
Speaker 1:He's so he would be proud to have that story told yes, he would. Yeah, he man. He loved to move and shake. I think he was the representative. Yeah, yeah, all right everybody. Blessings to you. Have a great week, stay safe, stay warm.
Speaker 3:Stay fresh cheese bags.
Speaker 1:That's our sign off.