The Gospel According to Jennifer
Welcome to "The Gospel According to Jennifer" podcast, where faith, humor, and heartfelt stories collide in a lively conversation about life, love, and everything in between. Join your host Jennifer Deibler, along with her co-host Jeromy Deibler as they share their family’s journey from being the acclaimed Christian band FFH to their current path in spiritual direction.
In this engaging and candid podcast, Jennifer and Jeromy offer a unique blend of perspectives on spirituality, mental health, emotional well-being, and personal growth. Drawing from their extensive experiences on the road and life's ups and downs, they explore the joys and challenges of faith, all while sprinkling in some humor along the way.
Get ready for spirited debates, deep dives into controversial thoughts, and heartwarming memories as they invite you into their world of faith, questions, and spiritual exploration. Whether you're a longtime believer, a spiritual seeker, or simply someone looking for meaningful conversations, "The Gospel According to Jennifer" podcast has something for everyone.
Tune in to join the conversation, laugh, learn, and be inspired as Jennifer and Jeromy navigate the twists and turns of life's spiritual journey. It's a podcast that's as diverse as their experiences and as authentic as their hearts. Subscribe today and embark on a captivating exploration of faith, laughter, and the adventure of the human spirit.
The Gospel According to Jennifer
Marriage Stuff with Ashlyn and Coby Martin
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Join us for a delightful journey as we catch up with the newlyweds, Coby and Ashlyn Martin, just two months into their marriage. We take a lighthearted trip down memory lane, sharing funny stories from their wedding day, including a laughable mix-up with their marriage license. Coby opens up about his transformation from artist to producer, while Ashlyn shares the joys and trials of her nursing career. From their Adventist upbringing to post-wedding adventures at the Joseph Hotel and a dreamy Napa Valley honeymoon, this episode is brimming with humor and heartfelt moments.
Family gatherings and cultural quirks spice up our conversation as we navigate the chaotic yet charming aftermath of a wedding. Who picks up the tab for the honeymoon? We dive into these expectations and more. Plus, we chat about the thrill of touring with Steven Curtis Chapman and the possibility of a musical duo named Martin. Through playful banter, we reflect on wedding stress, the emotional void post-ceremony, and the evolving nature of marriage celebrations. Our discussion is not without its quirky tangents—from the complexities of modern dating to humorous end-of-life planning scenarios.
We also touch on deeper themes like spiritual signs and the emotional challenges faced in healthcare settings, blending personal anecdotes with broader insights. Between negotiating political differences in relationships and sharing laughs over dinner plans, this episode is a tapestry of experiences and emotions. Don't miss the creative projects from Coby James Music and Ashlyn, which we highlight, promising even more laughter and insights in the episodes to come.
Okay, you good. I think we have numbers going Everybody's on.
Speaker 2Okay, you should keep your headphones on the whole time it's a vibe. Oh no, hey everybody, welcome to the Gospel According to Jeremy. I'm here with Jeremy Deibler, with my wife.
Speaker 1Jennifer.
Speaker 2Deibler, and we have some Really fun guests with us Tonight. Oh my gosh. Josh and Mary we haven't seen these guys Since we married them.
Speaker 1This is Kobe, we didn't marry them, kobe and Ashlyn Martin. I was there.
Speaker 2These guys are both artists. You have to get up Close to your mic. Ashley Ashlyn's shy Both artists. These guys are both artists. You have to get up close to your mic, Ashley Ashlyn's shy. Both artists met each other at an artist retreat. Kobe James is a producer, artist, songwriter.
Speaker 3Are you getting more into?
Speaker 1producing now.
Speaker 3That's pretty much all I do now.
Speaker 1That's a shame. It kind of is.
Speaker 3We were talking about that on the drive. Actually it's a big time.
Speaker 1Fat shame, because you're amazing.
Speaker 2Remember me trying to start the show. Oh yeah, Sorry about that, and Ashley's also a singer-songwriter artist, but currently a nurse.
Speaker 4Yes, almost a nurse In student.
Speaker 2Yes, Okay, all right, some background. These guys just walked in. We really didn't talk at all. We didn't talk Because the last time we were together was two months ago. Was Didn't talk at all. We didn't talk Because the last time we were together was two months ago, was it that long ago?
Speaker 1It was their wedding day. Yeah, that was two. You guys have been married for two months. Yeah, isn't that insane.
Speaker 3Actually speaking of that. Can you sign this just when you get the chance? Is this your marriage license? That's our license. That's hilarious.
Speaker 2So that thing we did wasn't really that official. It did happen Okay.
Speaker 3So we'll be married.
Speaker 2It was in God's eyes.
Speaker 3It was in God's eyes only September 15th.
Speaker 1Oh well, we got to backdate it.
Speaker 2That's the important eyes, he said he can't backdate it, so it won't matter. I'm not going to sign this in Sharpie. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1So what's going to happen? What's your official?
Speaker 3I mean we're going with the wedding.
Speaker 2August 4th. Yeah, okay yeah have you guys
Speaker 1had sex. Yet agreed, we're saving it for, you're saving it for tonight, you gotta save it for your, for your like for the official documentary yeah
Speaker 2you gotta save it for your first anniversary right, yeah was it everything you hoped it would be oh, my gosh.
Speaker 1I don't want to talk about that no, we are talking about that. That's not what I expected. Good, I didn't either. I was not thinking you were going to do that.
Speaker 2When no one really ever gets to talk to newly newlyweds.
Speaker 3Are we sending?
Speaker 2this to your parents, ash? No, do they know what a podcast is?
Speaker 1Yes, of course they know what a podcast is. There's a lot of stuff I want to talk about. Well, of course they know what a podcast is. There's a lot of stuff I want to talk about Well that we don't know.
Speaker 2I want to talk about kind of our experience.
Speaker 1We have four children.
Speaker 2I want to talk about our experience together, kind of doing your premarital stuff.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 2I want to talk about the wedding day. That was really fun.
Speaker 3Oh, yeah, yes.
Speaker 2So fun. Also, not all marriage stuff. I want to talk about the Adventist stuff because you know we, jennifer and I, got an education in Seventh-day Adventist, working with your parents, and I want to talk about some of your health stuff too, because we have people that listen, that are, you know, kind of in that world, some of them.
Speaker 1That's a lot to cover.
Speaker 2Well, I know.
Speaker 1We also got our Adventist info from Gamel Girls.
Speaker 4Oh yeah, that's right, the classic and.
Speaker 3I feel like that's the best representation.
Speaker 1I think so too, probably the Kims, Can you?
Speaker 2hear her. Okay, she needs to come closer. Okay, yeah, just stay on it.
Speaker 4You too Do you need a massage, do you need?
Speaker 1You too, kobe.
Speaker 4No, do not.
Speaker 1You're like back here, but you're louder.
Speaker 2I'm here, he is loud. Also, quick hello to the one who got us together, john Mays.
Speaker 1Yes, he's over here, that one.
Speaker 2Yeah, that's a poster back here.
Speaker 1John Mays, he got them together.
Speaker 3He did Actually that's kind of true, yeah.
Speaker 4He really did, did he really yeah, have happened that's right.
Speaker 2The retreat right?
Speaker 3no, well, we had followed each other for like a year because of centricity because, we had like mutual followers I followed you because you were cute his dad followed me because you were cute because she was cute, and then he kept saying dude, look at this cute girl he wanted you to.
Speaker 1How about it?
Speaker 3I also had a girlfriend at the time he was like dude, come on like, did you really?
Speaker 1say that oh yeah.
Speaker 3yeah, I was like dad, I'm dating someone.
Speaker 4He was like yeah, but like you know, Whatever?
Speaker 1Come on, Lock in dude but did you see? Her. Yeah, I did, did you see?
Speaker 3this. I didn't think I had a shot, if I'm being so for real.
Speaker 1I mean I said something like Ashlyn Kobe's a lot and your entire audience was like. Everyone started laughing.
Speaker 4Yeah.
Speaker 2So that makes me feel better, because there have been times where I have seen or talked to girls like not for Hutch, but I've been like oh wonder.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2And then I've said something to hutch like dude, like she's and he's like gross daddy, yeah, no no it's not.
Speaker 1It's not weird.
Speaker 3If you're close with your parents, it's not yeah, no, yeah, okay you need to talk to hutch if they know, because they know you guys know your son better than anybody and so, like my dad knew me and he was just like dude, you're, she's like sweet, she like posts with her family all the time. Her Instagram was super modest. It wasn't like she was just like you know, right? So it's hard to find, so I don't know. He has good radar.
Speaker 1Yeah, and he was right. Look at this.
Speaker 2He's great too, by the way.
Speaker 1Oh my gosh, that's crazy Buck if you're listening.
Speaker 2That's really fun. And your mom is so sweet that we know each other. Yeah, it's just wild. Yeah, yeah, your mom and I instantly hit it off.
Speaker 1I mean we knew you would. We knew you would. I mean, it's just like we're like the same yeah.
Speaker 2Yeah, in what way?
Speaker 1She's into the same stuff. I'm into the health stuff. Yeah, we're a lot alike.
Speaker 2It makes a lot of sense, yeah, but it's just funny, so so these guys got married first week of August in a field in the middle of the afternoon.
Speaker 4It was hot, it was hot.
Speaker 2It was brutal, we knew it would be. Oh, it was so hot, but it was beautiful, it didn't rain.
Speaker 4That was amazing.
Speaker 1It didn't rain. Yeah, all right Was there anything about that day that you look back and go? I wish I could change this.
Speaker 2Way to go dark right away.
Speaker 3You know it way. You know that's a good question. Uh, I don't think so.
Speaker 4Well, our coordinator yeah, really well she was really, if you're listening, we would have asked you she's definitely not actually.
Speaker 2That's funny because I had an experience with her that day oh really, it sounds like everyone did, we did, everyone did remember towards the end and I was like well, we'll see yeah, everyone did, apparently everyone did and like everyone did, really Everyone in our wedding parties were like yo wedding was amazing.
Speaker 3That chick is a lot.
Speaker 4Really, and our ceremony didn't go how we had expected. She messed it up.
Speaker 3Oh no, how so? Like well, we had talked about all the guys coming in, which. That must have changed. I don't know but all the guys were supposed to walk in together I actually thought that, yeah, not down the aisle over that, and so they sent them one at a time and then all the girls went.
Speaker 4So it was, and then the music was so long because of that they had to play the dj.
Speaker 3God bless his soul. Like was able to like play the song. We didn't die at least at least he did that.
Speaker 1I mean, he was like having him, he was awesome yeah he was on it ready for it. I actually thought that whenever the guys were coming down, I was like no, we talked about this.
Speaker 2It was weird. They're supposed to come in with Kobe. Yeah, your aisle was minimum a football field long. Yeah, no, it really was. That's a long walk for you. It was long, oh my gosh.
Speaker 3I remember seeing the kids.
Speaker 2It was absolutely 100 yards.
Speaker 3I was listening to the song play out and I was like this song's about to end. I was like, and the kid was like had just started walking and I was like this is going to take so long yeah.
Speaker 2So the listeners don't feel like they're nodding on an inside joke. These guys got married in a field in south of Franklin.
Speaker 1South of. France.
Speaker 2Yeah, the barn and the kind of dancing area was in these two buildings and then the tree that they got married under was probably 150 yards away. The aisle was just two-lane mowed patch and it was seriously. I mean, you started out, Ashlyn, you were teeny, teeny teeny tiny my bad. And then you just got bigger and bigger and bigger. And what was funny is we had conversations and we had time to have full-on conversations, like we talked about the one dude's hair. Yeah, dude the guy that's super funny, that came down first by himself.
Speaker 3Ben Becker Long hair.
Speaker 2Well, was he.
Speaker 3I can't remember I was like this guy, he's something.
Speaker 2And you're like, yeah, he really is something. Maybe Tommy it was Tommy. I think it was Tommy. It has to be, Tommy.
Speaker 3Yeah, it was so long and we had literally time to comment on every single person that walked down. It was at least what I mean. How long do you think it was?
Speaker 2It was a long walk down so all the guys came what was funny before the ceremony and Tommy and I had met the night before but I still don't think he understood my sense of humor really and so he was changing and he's kind of he's got the same skin complexion as my kids, just, you know, pale. And he took off his shirt and his back is just like moles and freckles and I walked by him and I was like might want to get that mole looked at he was like oh yeah, I have.
Speaker 3I was like man, I'm just dude, I used to shave his back hair before day two yeah, that's a good. He'd be like, come on man, you got to help me out. I mean, he would, he needed it, he needed. That's a good friend. He'd be like, come on man you got to help me out.
Speaker 1I mean, he needed it, he needed the help. That's a good friend. Yeah, we'd get in the tub.
Speaker 3I'd hose him down afterwards.
Post-Wedding Discussion and Future Plans
Speaker 1Oh my gosh, that's hilarious. I was a lot of hair that's kind of freaky, so what did you?
Speaker 2guys do the day after the wedding.
Speaker 4You got married, then Joseph Hotel downtown because the family I babysit for their dad he manages it. Oh my god, yeah. So he got us like, yeah, like King Suite or something like that.
Speaker 2And it was so fun. The next day did you hang out?
Speaker 4Yeah for like to like midday. Then we actually went back. We got lunch with his family.
Speaker 2Okay.
Speaker 4And hung out with them.
Speaker 3We went back to Pinewood.
Speaker 2That was a blast, it was super fun. Oh good, it's weird, though. Right, we did that, that was weird, so you come back the next.
Speaker 1We came back the next day to open like presents.
Speaker 2I'm gonna make sure yeah going and it's like okay, so we're back and everybody knows what happened last night yeah or didn't happen, yeah night, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3Wasn't that weird, Not for us really.
Speaker 4No, they're so chill.
Speaker 2We even made a joke about it, I think, and my dad, was like well, I wasn't going to say anything, I could see your parents be super chill yeah, I don't know about John.
Speaker 4We probably wouldn't have seen them the next day no.
Speaker 3We didn't it different?
Speaker 1with the girl's family.
Speaker 3Yeah, um a hundred percent. Yeah, it wasn't weird, though okay, I have a question.
Speaker 1I saw this, I don't know if I'm right about this who pays for the honeymoon? Me, we do okay, yeah, because I felt like I read somewhere that your parents paid I would have loved for that, because I was like that is not clay's parents are oh, rock on, yeah, I I was like is that because we didn't have that, that?
Speaker 3but you didn't either we went to Napa Valley it was so fun it was unbelievable.
Speaker 2Did you just eat at nice restaurants, nice restaurants?
Speaker 4wineries did you go to Fresh Laundry?
Speaker 3wait.
Speaker 4Fresh.
Speaker 1Laundry is the crazy expensive one so no, we didn't do that one, but everybody told us to if your parents were paying, we did like the bistro jante and we did like all those like fun little bistros and all there.
Speaker 3I mean, the food was unbelievable we went to a spa.
Speaker 4That was fun. We got massages. The spa was great nice, it was great.
Speaker 3I I've only been there once for like a day because we toured there. Steven curtis always makes sure to tour there.
Speaker 4He loves it, him and his wife.
Speaker 3Yeah, Mary Beth comes to that show.
Speaker 4That is so funny.
Speaker 3But we were only there for a day, so I really got to see it and it was beautiful, but we didn't get to do anything. So I was like this would be so fun.
Speaker 1Oh nice, that's, so neat.
Speaker 2Yeah, we did a couple of things with steven curtis, chapman and uh, and he has good taste. Yes, now, when we were out with him, of course we weren't, it wasn't with him, with him we were sort of playing shows together, but we were. It was a lot of festivals and stuff, and so we were in our bus, which is great, I'm not complaining right but we would leave the show and then we'd get to the next show and Stephen would have the plane.
Speaker 3Oh yeah, he gave up on the roughening thing a long time ago.
Speaker 2Like he's, just like I'm done.
Speaker 3I'm just I'm taking it easy. Yeah, he's got it figured out.
Speaker 2Yeah, we shared that summer. Oddly enough, we sort of shared a tour manager, so the tour manager would go with Stephen, obviously, and one night I don't know what happened one night and uh, I was, I guess is that trask. Yeah, it was dave trask and so is he still with him?
Speaker 1no, no, he works.
Speaker 2We saw him at a couple shows though okay, yeah um sorry, ashlyn, we've already gotten into music, business stuff but, um one night I I guess I talked longer than I normally do and I called trask and they were on the plane. I guess they were getting ready to take off. Where they landed and trask said steven wants to know if you're going to do another invitation tomorrow. If he should show up a little bit later, I was like no, I love that, love that.
Speaker 3Tell them no more talking.
Speaker 2I love that, so you're not doing music stuff anymore. No, which I've heard from several people, including John Mays that you're actually the talent of this duo.
Speaker 1That's not true the full talent, she writes.
Speaker 3No she sings, she does it all.
Speaker 4I honestly love doing it the most with Kobe.
Speaker 1Like that's like I feel like my I don't know the most fun for me, but you're not doing that. No, well, we're, we're talking about starting a duo.
Speaker 3You should type, I think you should do that, martin, I love it.
Speaker 1Please do yeah, martin, just martin. Oh yeah, I love it. That's kind of dumb okay why martin?
Speaker 3it's our last name.
Speaker 4You see, you forget because that's right because your name isn't real.
Speaker 1No one knows that everybody's like.
Speaker 3Mrs james, I'm like no, my last name's martin.
Speaker 4I know it's very confusing oh my gosh, I love that.
Speaker 3Yeah, it's such a fun deal please do that. Yeah, and we have like some really fun song ideas already, like we've like on our honeymoon actually we like brainstormed a ton oh, that's a bunch of fun ideas and it's, you know, like there's a uniqueness of writing with like somebody that you know like better than anybody else, Like we did when I left Centricity. I ended up just writing with her and we wrote, like I don't know, five songs together.
Speaker 3It was just like a different thing. Like we, just it would take us two weeks to write a song. We'd like do a verse and then like go get food.
Speaker 4That's my fault though.
Speaker 3Yeah, her attention span is like of a toddler, but like we would write like a verse, and then we'd just like take a break for two days and then we'd like be at dinner and we'd be like just singing through it and we'd come up with like parts of the chorus it was just like it's wicked, it was great.
Speaker 1That would be so good, you guys.
Speaker 2Yeah, let's do could the ford do it like we could replace little big town? That would be crazy, that won't work that won't work.
Speaker 4Kidding, they are so good they are.
Speaker 1They're amazing you have to take a picture like this, where you're, like you're fighting.
Speaker 3Uh, yeah, can I be jennifer?
Speaker 1yes, you be jennifer looking away mad do you guys fight?
Speaker 2have you had a fight since the wedding?
Speaker 3oh, honestly uh, I don't think so I don't know, I mean like I mean what is fight? Well, you're mad at each other you know, I mean every now and then, we just, you know get annoyed, but that's different.
Speaker 4Yeah, but nothing like I haven't like have you fought?
Speaker 3I haven't seen you fight we've had 100 for sure, like cussing oh yeah, what are you gonna act like? You don't now, okay, no, I mean, we've definitely been through hard seasons where we didn't like each other as much, and then I think we get out of that we don't like each other. Yeah, it's like I mean, I remember there is a hard, there's a really hard season where it was like hard to enjoy each other at all and then we got out of that and now we're. I feel like we're a little over some of that hump yeah.
Speaker 4Well, that's good.
Speaker 3Anxiety of the wedding also like not worrying about that.
Speaker 4Summer was rough Summer was rough, we were engaged for like just enough. Too much time, I feel like Summer was a lot. Engagement is hard.
Speaker 2I remember us talking about this.
Speaker 4Like stressed out. Yeah, well, my family also went to italy. Like my sisters were gone the whole summer and then my parents were gone for two weeks, I felt like I had to do a lot by myself.
Speaker 3Yeah, so that was stressful and then I don't really know how to help.
Speaker 4And then kobe didn't want to have a wedding from the start.
Speaker 3Well, not that I didn't want to have a wedding. He was like let's take the money and run right, I didn't care about the doing it as big as we did, but honestly, like now after looking back, it was amazing and I was like wow, like that was incredible, so fun, you have it so incredible yeah so like I think you know, I wasn't yeah, I wasn't necessarily like a big help, because I just didn't know what to even help with yeah, but on the wedding day he was very like oh my gosh, like this looks great like
Speaker 1who picked?
Speaker 2all this stuff and I was like you've got to be kidding, it was gorgeous it was epic, yeah, yeah, the table, the settings were gorgeous, yeah, everything but they have to be now like everything's compared like yeah, when, when her and I got married um, you know, it doesn't seem like that long ago, but in in marriage years, because weddings have changed so much.
Speaker 1Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2Her mom our whole budget. This included everything Her mom said we can spend nine grand.
Speaker 3That's insane, right, and we did it the whole.
Speaker 2I mean we did the whole wedding we had served food, dang, and as we were, getting ready for it. Her mom offered us that, and at the time you could buy a new Ford Explorer.
Speaker 1You couldn't buy a new one. It would have been a used one. 95.
Speaker 3Okay, but nine grand was a little bit more than it is now.
Speaker 1Oh sure.
Speaker 3In today's cost of what? 20 If I could use my phone I would google it, maybe 20.
Speaker 2You can do it. No, no, you can't. You, you can do it, maybe you can do it, but I also no, no, you can't.
Speaker 1No you can't do it for 20.
Speaker 3It's got to be small. I had a friend do it but it was small like private ceremony.
Speaker 1I have a friend who's a wedding person and she said I won't do one. That's less than 100. Now A hundred thousand. A hundred thousand. She said I won't. She said I can't get it to look how I want it to look. Wow, if they're spending less than a hundred thousand dollars.
Speaker 2Well, I mean that's Brian. I mean he told us for.
Speaker 1Maybe they don't want you to tell them. Well, I mean I kept asking Brian.
Speaker 2more than that, more than that, he's like dude you don't even know that's fun own stuff. Yeah, and it was very simple. Wow, but it's beautiful, kathy. Uh, my mother-in-law, mimi, she offered us the money to elope. She said you can still have just a small wedding, but I'll give you this money. You have a car or whatever. Yeah, we had the same opportunity, I would have done it, but somebody wanted a wedding, I wanted the dress.
Speaker 3Yeah, me too look the wedding industry has these women by the balls, they, they do they do?
Speaker 4If you're on your second marriage, you could do that Right, but your first is like yeah, I mean, now that I've been married this long, I'm like, well, that was stupid.
Speaker 2Right, but you know when you're young and I don't know. No, you need to do it. I guess I get it.
Speaker 4I get it. It was. It was unbelievable. Honestly, I would not trade it I wouldn't trade it either.
Speaker 3That's awesome. It was so fun every it was worth every penny.
Speaker 2I I don't I really don't feel that old, but I did at your wedding because there's a lot of stuff like at your rehearsal, uh-huh the little the little like devotional time that was crazy is that a thing?
Speaker 4no, I mean, I don't know. One of my friends did that for her wedding and I like hadn't seen it before. I was like, oh, that's really cool so I didn't know this was normal.
Speaker 3No, that's not like a thing. I don't know. I really wasn't expecting. I mean doing speeches at your rehearsal. I feel like is kind of a thing yeah, people do like friends that are close that aren't the maid of honor, the whatever, but but ours was definitely like. I didn't expect it to be what it was at all.
Speaker 1I know you guys were like speeches start at whatever time and I was like what Speeches?
Speaker 3Speeches.
Speaker 1I've been to a lot of weddings with speeches for the rehearsal dinner, I mean yeah, but I thought it was like the parents give us, the dad gives a speech.
Speaker 3Yeah, and then somebody else prays you know for the meal.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2Okay, so you guys go to Honeymoon, come back, move into your place and just start your life? Yeah, is there anything that surprises you now? Like, oh, I didn't like. Okay, so this is what this feels like.
Speaker 4No. The day after the wedding Really yeah. I like laid staring at the ceiling for like an hour. Really, I was like what do I do now? Were you just exhausted Well, not really tired. I just like so much of my emotional energy had been wrapped up in planning everything. Yeah, that then to just have it be over, just like that. I was like what do I do?
Speaker 1we also thought we threw who am I like literally a fake wedding like we kept saying like we're not married, like we're not. This didn't work.
Speaker 4This is yeah, okay, it didn't take like I think I cried three times and I was like is this a prank really?
Speaker 3seriously look like. When we were actually doing the wedding, I was like this isn't real, like this isn't a real really, that's so interesting like a play wedding yeah, you're looking at, you're seeing if we're running yeah, it was um.
Speaker 1I remember it was real, except for we haven't signed that yet, but right other than that it was. I remember it was real, except for we haven't signed that yet, but other than that it was real, we didn't have these back in the Bible times, though.
Speaker 3That's right. No, it was a dowry. Yeah, it's different.
Speaker 2So I do remember we went to Disney World on our honeymoon.
Speaker 1Yes, yes, we did. I feel like I need to we threw out Disney World.
Speaker 3That was an option for a minute. We almost did that, Okay listen, let me explain why.
Speaker 1We went to Disney World At the time it was, father of the Bride was big and Disney World just opened their little wedding chapel and so they were really pushing towards these young couples to come get married there, and so they were really like that was all the marketing. So my sister wanted to go there and I didn't have any clue what I wanted to do and he was like what do you want to do? I'm like I don't know Disney World, because my sister wants to do that.
Speaker 3I don't know, I bet it was fun, I had never thought about it.
Speaker 2Yeah, I hadn't thought about any of it. It wasn't that great. It wasn't great? No, because Jennifer doesn't relax at Disney World.
Speaker 1She has to conquer, I get one of those people.
Speaker 3My dad's that way. That's your fault.
Speaker 2My dad's so locked in Look Buck and her. They've met their match.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 2Because she turns into an. Enneagram 7 hoarder at Disney World Time hoarder we had to get a trinket from every country in epcot to bring home with us. I love it. Yes, I mean we. We were there when the park opened till the park closed my dad's not that way.
Speaker 3My dad can't do that, really no he's not till it closes. No, oh really yeah he's gotta go back take a little nap but I get that now.
Speaker 1They they're going to watch this. I wanted to marry her. I get that now.
Speaker 2I wanted to marry her so bad that I don't think I ever thought one time, until after we were married, how it was going to feel to be married. I just wanted to be married.
Speaker 4And I remember at Disney World going.
Speaker 2Oh, I did that.
Speaker 3Yeah. So okay, here we are yeah not not regret, but more like yeah oh I think for us this is not worth it no, totally worth it.
Speaker 2I was just like, but now what like? There's such build up.
Speaker 3That's how I felt we had been looking forward to it for so long, like it had been this thing we've been checking off since we were 18 yeah, it was like we had all these little life milestones to hit and then, like marriage was like the final one.
Speaker 3We were like we gotta just do this, finish this, then we can get married, like, and so it had been this like big thing that we've been waiting for for so long. And then finally it happened and it was like it kind of felt like freedom, kind of felt like ah yeah it's over we did it, yeah, and now, and now what?
Speaker 1Well, part of the reason that we wanted to have this podcast is that, ashlyn?
Speaker 2you got an announcement right, yeah, I'm just kidding. I'm not pregnant we just freaked your parents out.
Speaker 4No, I was like am I?
Speaker 1Am I pregnant? What did you tell them? That's hilarious that you started to think, maybe you were.
Speaker 2No, I'm just kidding. We just wanted to freak Buck out a little bit.
Speaker 3Although he'd probably be happy, no, he'd be freaked out.
Speaker 2Would he?
Speaker 3Yeah, he'd be like oh gosh.
Speaker 1Too much.
Speaker 3He? He'd be freaked out, would he? Yeah, he'd be like oh gosh, too much.
Speaker 1He'd be like well, I guess you're starting.
Speaker 3Yeah, he would, here we go, they'd be great, but he'd be like, oh gosh. That would be his reaction initially.
Speaker 2So are your friends like? I'm sure you have friends that were already married. They're like you gotta get married.
Speaker 4Now there's going to be friends that are like when are you having kids? Yeah, I haven't heard the kids thing yet. Uh, not really my siblings a little bit.
Speaker 2Oh really funny, but not really it's so annoying too.
Speaker 4Yeah, yeah, what do you call it?
Speaker 2same boat syndrome.
Speaker 1Same boat syndrome, yeah everybody like if they were married. They want you everybody to be married oh, that's so kids are like you need to have kids.
Speaker 3They want you to be in the same boat. Yep, yeah, I get that, that's so we haven't had too many, because a lot of our friends are either dating or engaged or or not or single. Or single, they're probably just not there yet.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2So you're kind of the first. We really are Honestly yeah.
Speaker 3We had one pair of friends that got married, the good hair people. Good hair people. That guy does have Unbelievable hair.
Speaker 1Actually, we talked about that when he was coming down the aisle. I don't know which one this is.
Speaker 3His hair is unreal. I mean she's curly. They're from New York, prince Charming, yeah, they.
Speaker 2They were real quiet.
Speaker 3Okay, oh, really, they actually that's shocking.
Speaker 2They were going to hire me to do their marriage counseling and then fired me before they did.
Speaker 1That makes sense Okay.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 3That tracks. We drove funny story about them. They got married middle of September, end of September, and so we had a flight because Ashlyn was doing her hair and her makeup for the day of the wedding. Oh my gosh my god. So we had a flight, the night before to get in, so we weren't like trying to get their day of or anything like that. Well, our flight gets canceled and it's seven o'clock at night and our flight gets canceled and I'm like well, is there any other flights to like any airport close to?
Speaker 2albany. Is that where they are?
Speaker 3no, uh, they're in binghamton which is big hampton yeah middle of. Syracuse, or there's one other one that you could get to, or maybe a third, but anyways no flights. We would be getting in at like three o'clock the wedding's at four. Can't do it you guys, so we get in our car.
Speaker 4Drove and drove overnight. We just knew it took 15 hours, 15 hours.
Speaker 1What time did you do that?
Speaker 4then the next day, oh gosh, I don't know, we were so tired. We got there right in time to start her hair, wow what'd you do? Like I took a shower and then I just did like a half up, half down like fun curl thing.
Speaker 3She looked beautiful but it was our own form of hell, yeah.
Speaker 4Especially driving through the night.
Speaker 3Yeah, no one on the road it starts to look the same, you start feeling like you're in like Stranger Things or something you really do. You can't see anything. There's fog Like it was just terrible.
Speaker 2That's the worst when you're you know you guys had to do it it but yeah we've had drives before where it's going to be, like here to florida or back. When we were, you know, when I was in pit, we'd be like let's just go, and it would be like 10 o'clock and we're like you know what, let's not leave in the morning, let's just leave now and it seems like such a good idea you know what it kind of does, and then you get an hour in, yeah, at about one, you're like
Speaker 2oh man, this was stupid.
Speaker 4No, what's crazy is driving six hours and looking and saying you have seven left. Yes, that's awful, and you can't turn around.
Speaker 3No, you can't.
Speaker 1You're just stuck in the middle of nowhere and when you go to the airport and you think, oh, I'm going to fly, yep, you're not hyped up and ready to drive 15 hours.
Musical Journey and Family Dynamics
Speaker 3That's rough. I've done some terrible stuff like that because of shows but, nothing that far and that bad.
Speaker 2How did you end up on the road with Stephen Curtis Chapman? You guys had a Stephen Curtis spoof or something didn't you?
Speaker 3Yeah, me and my buddy did a song. We did a parody song about Stephen Curtis Chapman. It was a punk rock song.
Speaker 2Wasn't it? Like I hope Stephen Curtis Chapman will sing with me, or something it was, I want to write a banger like Stephen Curtis.
Speaker 1Chapman oh my gosh, I love it.
Speaker 3Radio's been better off since 1987 and I want to marry beth to singer all the songs. I write like it was.
Speaker 3It was really fun and so like we had mullets in the video and it was like this whole thing, like it was really fun and uh k love kind of embraced it and like loved it, and so they brought us on k love to like, just like play some of our like kojo was our thing, our Kojo parody songs, and they surprised us with Steven to come in the studio and then we wrote a song. Oh, I got a little spill. Then we wrote a song at Caleb's studios. They recorded the whole thing and the experience. It was awesome.
Speaker 2Was it Scott Smith? Yeah, Scott and Kelly.
Speaker 3And after that there was talks of he needed a band to come out with him, and there was talks about us being involved in that somehow. And then it just kind of happened, he asked us to come out with him. Well he, he also wrote us a response song too. I forgot to tell you that like we wrote a song and he did a video and a response song that, like, went viral on socials.
Speaker 2Tell people where they can find it, just and it's all there, it's in the archives, um, but it's uh.
Speaker 3Yeah, so there was this whole saga and then we went on the road with him, open forum and or we did like an intermission kind of thing, yeah, and we were in his band, so I got to like really work on my guitar skills like I've always been a guitar player but like that was definitely like one of the um more hard things I've done as a guitar player was, yeah, his stuff's just not easy.
Speaker 3You know it was. It was really fun. And he wrote me like he like recorded the whole set and then he also recorded the second guitar parts, like whole part of the set. Yeah, and I like it was unbelievable. He like sent me videos of like how to play it and like it was so sweet, but it was intricate, like it was.
Speaker 2You have to play it this way so you have like iphone video of Stephen Curtis Chapman.
Speaker 3He'sman, he's like hey goby, james, this is how you do it. Right here I'm steve and curtis and he would like hit it or whatever and like, but like he would know, I would know. He would know too, like if I didn't hit it right, like I'd miss a part or something, and he would know if it was like a little bit different and he's like hey, so like next time, make sure that that part. I was like dude, this guy is like dialed in.
Speaker 2It was intense. Did you go out at all with him?
Speaker 4I didn't go.
Speaker 3You came to some shows.
Speaker 4Yeah, I came with his family some.
Speaker 3So it was fun.
Speaker 4It was cool, he's so nice.
Speaker 3Yeah, he is.
Speaker 4And we saw him in the airport.
Speaker 3actually, On our way back from our honeymoon.
Speaker 1Oh, wow we bumped into him, that's so cool.
Speaker 3We were like well, we we're like oh, we're just in Napa. I was like dude, you inspired me to go to Napa. I was like you're the reason we went to Napa.
Speaker 4He was like oh was it great. Yeah, he's so nice.
Speaker 3Kobe James, how the heck are you? That's so funny. It was great, so good so okay.
Speaker 2So now you're two months in. Now you gotta figure out where you're spending Christmas that's gonna be drama.
Speaker 3Well, thankfully his brother's getting married in December. Now you got to figure out where you're spending Christmas.
Speaker 2Oh yeah, that's going to be drama. We already got it figured out Well thankfully his brother's getting married in December.
Speaker 3Oh, right, right, yeah, yeah, and they're taking their honeymoon over Christmas.
Speaker 4So it kind of like he already ruined Christmas a little bit Right, we didn't have to do it.
Speaker 3We didn't have to do it. Yeah, it's great right after their wedding, like we're just staying the next day, we're going to just open some presents and hang out and kind of we've done that before like a different day, christmas, and then we'll do Christmas, I guess, with her family just depending on if they're doing something or whatever.
Speaker 4Yeah.
Speaker 2Well, that was one thing that was apparent at your rehearsal dinner. Is that both of your families? Yeah, and involved. Yeah, it's not like one of you is an only and you're just kind of being absorbed into it. I mean, yeah, and I also learned that the Adventist, adventist, adventist. You could say either Because, you know, I said, as you know, I sat across from your parents, yeah, and your dad kind of gave me Adventist 101.
Speaker 4Oh.
Speaker 2And it was like oh really. Well, he talked to me about how important the Sabbath is.
Speaker 4Did you ask him?
Speaker 1No no not at all. Well, we were just talking.
Speaker 2I actually think it was your mom.
Speaker 1That tracks.
Speaker 2Yeah, I think it was your mom.
Speaker 1We were just talking and it kind of came up.
Speaker 4Yeah.
Speaker 1It wasn't weird.
Speaker 3Yeah, it's so funny.
Speaker 2But it's, I mean it is, it's a thing.
Speaker 3Oh, it's heavy. It's a thing it's very important to them.
Speaker 2So are you going to church on Saturdays or Sundays now?
Speaker 4Sundays, we've actually been going to Journey.
Speaker 2Oh yeah, In Brentwood.
Speaker 3Yeah, oh, really.
Speaker 1We love it, we really like it?
Speaker 2Oh yeah, Does it.
Speaker 4Well, my sister, she has a boyfriend now and he is not Adventist, and so that's kind of been a whole thing for them too, like, in a sense, it's kind of re-sparked everything, like I think they saw that I was like a lost cause.
Speaker 3They gave up on us yeah.
Speaker 4And so they're kind of like cracking down harder on, like my siblings.
Speaker 2Oh they are. Yeah, it's not like they're going, it's okay they're going. No, no, no.
Speaker 4It's like, yeah, it's kind of crazy, oh is it drama.
Speaker 3Yeah, it's definitely re-sparked more of the just like just Adventist conversations, I feel like for a good year or two.
Speaker 4It's just like overcompensating. We'll go there, they'll play a sermon.
Speaker 3Oh points, whatever Talking about the law and just like it's just kind of you know it's a whole thing, but we just try to. You know just, we always want to embrace what they believe. We're not going to like infringe on their beliefs when we're with them. You know we're going to, I'm not going to go eat pork in front of them and you know, do the whole. I want to. Just we want. There's people who, you know, think one thing we're not going to go and get spit, you know whatever.
Speaker 1Why are you laughing?
Speaker 2Nothing.
Speaker 3No.
Speaker 1You know what I was thinking.
Speaker 2When you were talking about food.
Speaker 1It just made me think the rehearsal dinner food was insane.
Speaker 4Oh, did you like it? Yeah, it was so good.
Speaker 3Or bad. Oh my gosh. Oh, I was on cloud nine.
Speaker 1I don't remember there was some stuff.
Speaker 3We took some home.
Speaker 1There was some stuff that was so good. They were going to throw it away. They were.
Speaker 2Oh, absolutely no. Your parents were like please take some.
Speaker 3I asked you, I was like.
Speaker 2John, are you going to?
Speaker 1He's like dude, take it what was sick was like my dad said. There was, like, I guess, with an event what that number was. It had to be so freaking expensive. It was a lot, it had to be insane. I kind of know, no, don't say it, don't say it.
Speaker 3I'm not but I think I kind of know, but it was like a thing where he was paying it no matter what. Oh, okay, and he was worried we weren't going to reach the number.
Speaker 1So, it wasn't going to be worth the money. You just reached the number. Yeah, it was so good. It was awesome and then the wedding was Tzatziki's, which is my favorite.
Speaker 2Oh, it's Greek food and snow cones.
Speaker 4Yeah, that was a play, that was a crazy good call, sorry to go back.
Speaker 1I feel like we went backwards.
Speaker 2No, I just feel like all of a sudden he went. If there is a preacher Kobe in there somewhere, he went to it. I'll be honest.
Speaker 3He stuck with her family, and just the difference in beliefs, like it challenged me in a lot of ways to like look into stuff and figure out what I thought, because you know it was just interesting.
Speaker 2That is how we met. We met because of hell.
Speaker 3Oh yeah.
Speaker 2That's how we met. That's so true. Remember we talked about well, because john told you you need to call jeremy.
Speaker 3Yeah, he was like I don't think he even believes it or what he said something about it. I was like, well, don't out me sorry. Yeah, yeah, john mays. And then I also grant hubbard uh, mentioned you.
Speaker 1He was like really, so I heard your name. Gosh, I haven't talked to grant, well, I've heard your name multiple times.
Speaker 3John had mentioned you, granted mentioned you and I was at coffee with grant. You were at the same coffee shop.
Speaker 1Okay, and.
Speaker 3Grant goes that's Jeremy. I was like you know what John told me about him and you're telling me about him, and he was like you should go say hi. So then I went and said hi to you.
Speaker 1And you were like here's my number, and it was after that.
Speaker 2Oh cool, cool, Best friends ever since man.
Speaker 1I saw him at Tractor Supply not long ago oh my God, yeah, I think they have chickens too, maybe because we were both buying food. They're great, Grant, he was, and Cammie, we knew Grant before.
Speaker 2We had a record deal and he was at a record. He was trying to get us signed. He's like yeah, he was great I believe so much in you guys.
Speaker 1But he did tell us. He said it is Just, don't he goes man, it's so bad. Oh, no way.
Speaker 3That's crazy.
Speaker 2I agree.
Speaker 3That's crazy. I'm going to check in with you.
Spiritual Signs and Nursing Stories
Speaker 2That's weird. So I kind of feel like when people talk to me about like they'll say I heard God speak, or whatever, I'm always like what did it sound like?
Speaker 4Yeah.
Speaker 2Because for me it's always stuff like that, Like something will come up and then it'll be like well, have you met, so-and-so. And then another person will be like have you met, so-and-so.
Speaker 1Oh, that's God to me, man, I got to pay attention to this.
Speaker 3It's like ser weird thing. There's just always weird stuff. I don't really believe in coincidences, so there's a ton of that stuff that I'm just like oh okay, this is where I'm going.
Speaker 2Have you heard God's voice?
Speaker 4I think so have you really. I don't know, I feel like I like I don't know. I've tried to get more specific with, like what I pray for, like not be like super vague.
Speaker 2Like what do you mean?
Speaker 4Like with nursing, like I have to pick. We had to interview over the summer like for where we want to work, um, and it's kind of stressful because in school, like they teach us how to be a nurse, ish, like how to pass the NCLEX, and then like they don't, they teach you how to interview but like not really like how the whole process works and like where you're gonna go, whatever. So I wanted to work in the icu and it's pretty competitive, um, and specifically the hospital I wanted to be at and like I don't know, there's just a lot of people interviewing for it and I like had interviewed for like a bunch of positions at the hospital and like got a lot except for that one. So I was like okay, like I'm just, I guess I need to like pursue other options, whatever, um. And then, like literally the day after the wedding, when I was like not knowing what I was supposed to do, I got an email. They're like hey, like we know you just got married, you're busy, but like we got this final offer for you.
Speaker 4We just want to let you know it was exactly where I like oh, that's where I've been praying to be since I started nursing school and so, like I don't know, I felt like that was an obvious, like sign of like you are meant to be here because I got another job at vanderbilt and stuff. But um, yeah, I don't know, I feel like when I'm more intentional with stuff that I can trust, that like okay, that's maybe where I'm supposed to be when it opens up or doesn't, because I had peace that I wasn't supposed to be there. I was like, okay, I'm not supposed to work here, I guess.
Speaker 1But what made you want to go into nursing?
Speaker 4um, I kind of took like a roundabout path, I think like in high school I was like set on music type stuff, um, and then when I started college I was a business major. Uh, because I didn't know what I wanted to do, because my dad's a doctor and like that whole like Adventist world is like doctors and medical really.
Speaker 1Yeah, it's like a huge thing.
Speaker 4I didn't want to do that because I want to do something different. And now here I am. But yeah, I think like my grandpa honestly kind of inspired it because he's like always had like back surgeries and tons of health issues, but like he's been like my best friend, like I danced with him at our wedding and stuff he witnessed to me. Really, I'm sure he did. Yeah, he did.
Speaker 2So sweet. He talked to me about you and how you're buddies.
Speaker 4Oh yeah.
Speaker 2He gave me the entire gospel and plan of salvation.
Speaker 4Yeah.
Speaker 1I wanted to be like Paul.
Speaker 2Paul, did you hear me? I mean.
Speaker 1I'm pretty Christian.
Speaker 2He's like yes, I heard you and you need to get saved. I he's like yes, I heard you and you need to get saved.
Speaker 3I'm pretty Christian, that's what he does sometimes too. I think he's just making sure, yeah, he's got to double up. Just making sure that's right, yeah.
Speaker 4It's like his conversation starter? I think I don't know that's so sweet, but he had a lot of issues and I would always go to his house and play nurse play underlying passion?
Speaker 2I didn't know I had, so so you're, are you in the enneagram for space? Yeah, very so kind of the caring.
Speaker 1But it's funny that you.
Speaker 4You wanted to be different, you did, yeah, yeah you know that that squares yeah, I was like no, I'm not doing that, everybody does that right, like there was a natural path for me, but I, I didn't want to. I didn't want to do that. I thought it was boring.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 4But yeah.
Speaker 1So funny, do you?
Speaker 4like it. I love it.
Speaker 1Do you really? I really love it. Man, you have to be a special person to love being a nurse. Yeah, because I cannot imagine.
Speaker 4Yeah, I think it's awesome.
Speaker 2Not me either. You're like suck it up buttercup, yeah I can't imagine being doing that bagging bodies now, I mean it's crazy dead ones, dead ones, what?
Speaker 4what are we doing with them? What are you doing? Well, in the icu I'm on a neuro floor right now for, like my preceptorship. It's like in your last semester. It's like a trial run of like how your job might be, um, and so I see you. Obviously everyone's like really sick, but this guy had COVID ended up dying, so his family like came and saw him and like that's like a whole different thing. That I didn't. I mean, I knew that would be sad. I didn't expect it to be as sad as it was Like watching people like talk to their loved ones for the last time, even though they're already gone. But yeah, we had to like take out all of his lines and like everything.
Speaker 1And so, yeah it was sad what happens then, because when my dad died it was like that he was hooked up to all kinds of stuff yeah and then they're like okay, you guys go out we're gonna take everything off of him and then you can come back and say goodbye yeah, even though he was gone.
Speaker 4I didn't go back in yeah, I don't think I could. No, I don't, don't I couldn't.
Speaker 2Yeah, I'm guessing it's different when it's a stranger. Very.
Speaker 1Well, when it's a yeah, but then what happens? They take all the stuff off. People can come in and talk to them.
Speaker 4Yeah.
Speaker 1And then you literally put them in a bag.
Speaker 4Mm-hmm. And then they. And you had to do that yeah.
Speaker 2You and other people.
Speaker 4Yeah Well, I didn't realize that he had died at first.
Speaker 3This is kind of funny what she had no idea.
Speaker 4It's like not funny, but kind of funny, I didn't know. The nurse was like hey, this will be a good experience for you, why don't you come help me? I was like, okay, cool, so we go in the. And so I'm like, hey, buddy, like like patty's, like the nurse gave me a weird look you need a blanket.
Speaker 4You're kind of cold no, the nurse was like and I was awesome and so I just kept talking to him and like was wiping him down. I was like we're just gonna do this and she was like, yeah, okay, well, when you're done with that, we need to put him in this bag. And and I was like oh my gosh, and immediately like my heart just dropped to my stomach and it kind of freaked me out.
Speaker 2Well, it's kind of freaked you out that you didn't know.
Speaker 4Yeah, oh, like worst prank ever, right yeah.
Speaker 2Meanwhile he's in that hovering space.
Speaker 1Yeah, he's just hanging over. Oh honey, I'm not there anymore.
Speaker 3What are we doing? This chick doesn't know. I'm dead, yeah. I'm so gone. So you weren't there when he died.
Speaker 1So then you put him in a bag, zip him up and you put him on a thing and roll him out.
Speaker 2Yeah, Weird who's down there. Did you put him in the fridge? You did so. You slid him in.
Speaker 4You have to like, crank them up on a, like a. It's like a pulley type thing. Cause it they're so heavy. And then it just like lowers them into a freezer.
Speaker 1Wow, so they can get picked up by, like the funeral home, and then the funeral home comes and gets them and does whatever, for some reason you feel like it should be more sacred.
Speaker 3I don't know why.
Speaker 1I know, you know it almost feels like. Yeah, when my dad died, it was chaos. I mean it was horrible, but because there was just so much going on and my mom was trying to you know he was it was just awful. But I'm standing over him and I'm looking at my sister and I'm like don't look down.
Speaker 4Don't look down yeah.
Speaker 1Because he was bleeding. It was just really bad oh wow, and I was like just don't look down, and I was like just don't look down and I knew he was gone.
Speaker 4Like.
Speaker 1I was watching the monitor and I knew and my mom didn't know yet because he was on a ventilator, so it just kept pumping, and so I'm like yeah. That's what's heartbreaking. It was rough and the nurse finally had to tell her he's gone.
Speaker 4Yeah, it was rough, sorry, I brought it down, didn't I? Sorry.
Speaker 1No, no, it's no, but it's. I did. I know I didn't tell her. The nurse told her. I told my sister I was like he's gone yeah, we had to call it.
Speaker 4Yeah, we had to, like, check a patient because they were like suspecting him to be brain dead, um, and his wife was there. It's kind of crazy. He had come in because, like he had covet and then he fell so he had a brain bleed and this is the guy that you put in the bag.
Speaker 1It's a different guy, different guy, but that's what ended up killing him.
Speaker 2What's going on with COVID?
Speaker 4I don't know. Is COVID resurging? I guess I think yeah.
Speaker 3We had it recently.
Speaker 1Well, I know it's going around, but it's killing people again.
Speaker 3I don't know. I mean he didn't die from COVID, but the other guy, the guy that you put in the bag. He died from COVID. He also had HIV.
Speaker 2He was struggling, so you quick got a transfusion. He wasn't looking good, he was struggling.
Speaker 1He had some comorbidities.
Speaker 2There's a couple things going on. Listen to me.
Speaker 3You kind of were a nurse then you know, do I look like a nurse?
Speaker 1You do, I was able to be in my but my dad also had. He was a mess. He also had like we had to suit up. He had some sort of blood infection from the hospital oh my goodness oh wow, it was rough. Yeah, it was gross. That's horrible. So I was like I could never. Sorry, babe, it's not happening Like she did, drain his lungs and stuff, oh thanks. We're going to have to we're going to need somebody to do that stuff.
Speaker 2If you need it, I'm over here making a list. You know, this is the thing Me and Ash have decided. You know what this list is? Oh, what we're gonna have to talk about your dad's last day. So what else do we need to do?
Speaker 1you think we're gonna have to talk about my dad's last day.
Speaker 2Well, with the way that you just talked about it now. Yeah why?
Speaker 1what do you mean? Well, because was I very detached, yeah, yeah like and I think, well, I have to be well.
Speaker 2I think I told you this before the wedding, because the week before the wedding you had typical. You know, always something comes up before the wedding you had trauma. When we met at Barnes Noble and I think I told you compartments are good, you're allowed to put it in there. You just you got to open it up sometime. You just can't leave it in there forever.
Speaker 2But it can't leave it in there forever. But it's your wedding week. Put it in a but the losing people. I have a friend, um, my friend omar is uh, he's an er doc and we need to have him on. Sometimes we do he, it's, you know. He said it's rare to lose somebody, even in the er. You're not.
End of Life Planning and Sentimentality
Speaker 2You know it's not happening every day yeah but, um, he said when you know, when it I I've asked him, like tell me what that's like to walk out to a family? And he says of course it's different. There are some people that come in that are destitute. Nobody's there, you know, with them. He said, but when you have to walk out, and it's a surprise, and he said man, you know, I put it in a compartment, but then later he goes. I have have to, I don't get over this stuff yeah, I couldn't I couldn't.
Speaker 2He said you, and he's an enneagram, four, three, very much a romantic. So he he's like I don't get over this stuff man, it's just not.
Speaker 4That's the wrong thing to be in, then an er doctor well, she's doing it I feel like it's a perfect balance though, because really you see some doctors who are so like desensitized they're cold and like these are people's real lives, like they're going through that they need to have someone that can be strong for them but also like feel for them.
Speaker 3I feel like like nurses, joking about stuff you know, after a person's dead. It's like, yeah, she can't kind of, she can't do that. But it's like I guess some different numbers.
Speaker 1I guess too after you've been in it a long time. Yeah, it's different, there was a guy came in when right after my dad died. I don't think he knew he's talking on the phone. Some nerd, I'm like buddy get out of here, yeah. He's talking really. I'm like okay, know the?
Speaker 4yeah, he's talking really I'm like, okay, know the room get out. Yeah, like it was just bizarre. Yeah, it's heartbreaking. Yeah, we had a guy who was he. Yeah, he was brain dead. But like we were like we suspected him to be brain dead. But there's like a test you have to do, like you test all the reflexes and stuff, see if there's any brain activity, um, but you'd set a timer for like eight minutes. Uh, the doctor I mean I don't really know all the science behind it, but anyway, we're all like in the room and his wife, like the guy's wife knew that we were like this was like these eight minutes determined if her husband was going to get better or not Wow.
Speaker 4And so she like walked out to wait and, like we said, it was the longest eight minutes I feel like of my whole life. Like everyone's just watching the monitor for like anything, like any signs of like life or activity and were there no. Like the timer went off and the doctor was like all right, time of death 9, 42 am. Thank you everyone for your help. I have to go talk to his family. And oh how horrible. And she was just like the cutest old woman.
Speaker 4Yeah, she was like so sweet he was gonna be fine too.
Speaker 3It was like the fall in the hospital is what he fell in the hospital yeah, he like, he like, was it sometimes with old people? She says like they just, even though nurses tell him like don't get up, like they just want to feel like they have some autonomy a little bit so they'll do it and he just fell, but she just like went in the room and held his hand and like we couldn't.
Speaker 4We could see through the glass, but we couldn't hear what she was saying and she was just like kissing his hand and talking to him and like there's.
Speaker 1His sons came in the room too, so like the whole family was in there and they were just like all hugging, like you're not gonna do that I'm not good with this stuff no, no'm just not going to be able to drain your lungs like my mom did and stuff, that's the stuff. I'm not going to be able to do, I think it's a search engine.
Speaker 3Yeah, just for safety.
Speaker 2It's the fluids I was getting emotional.
Speaker 1It's the fluids. I can't do the fluids, but you'll be around, oh yeah. I can't do that I can't. Maybe it's there somewhere.
Speaker 2Well, I don't know, I don't really want you to do the fluids, but I'm not saying I'm hoping we don't have fluids to do. I'm not saying I can do the fluids.
Speaker 1Yeah, she'll come over and do the fluids.
Speaker 2I don't want that either. I don't want Ashlyn doing my fluids. Please Listen.
Speaker 3Ashlyn can do your fluids what?
Speaker 1I'm saying is we're going to have to have somebody there, like a nurse person, to come in. That's all I'm saying.
Speaker 3Me and Ashlyn decided we're checking out a life. At the same time, we're just going to call it.
Speaker 2You're notebooking it, we're notebooking it. We're going to one of those chambers in Sweden and we're just going to call it If you haven't seen the notebook yet. Spoiler they die together. Spoiler they die, they do.
Speaker 1Do you guys like the notebook?
Speaker 3I love the notebook.
Speaker 1I love it, you do, okay, I'm the only one I hate it.
Speaker 2You're not sentimental, I am sentimental, I'm a two, I love that stuff.
Speaker 1I hate it. I'm like it's just as gross to me. I'm going why do you want to push every emotional button?
Speaker 3I'm like, come on, it's perfect, it's ridiculous. Yeah, so what you're gonna need is some of the romeo and juliet berries, in case something happens. We're just gonna go and we're gonna tell our kids hey guys sorry, we're calling it july 5th at. You know, whatever, we're 80, we're 85 it's over.
Derailed Podcast Tangents and Personal Stories
Speaker 1You think that, but at 85 you'll be like, um, I have time left. That's true, maybe we will. Yeah, the second one of us is going, though it's over yeah, yeah, yeah, we're gonna call it I see that I do know this if he dies, I am not getting married again oh my gosh, I don't want to talk about this my dad said that because now that's recording, there's no shot.
Speaker 3He was like I don't want any of that. Oh god, I don't want to deal with that like I'm done. No, thank you, I don't want to try.
Speaker 1I mean, I don't understand people at my age dating I. I have a friend who's doing it and I just I mean Golden Bachelor.
Speaker 4Looks exhausting. Golden Bachelorette.
Speaker 3You'd be a good Golden Bachelorette. You would kill it. People would be lined up around them. Oh, you would murder.
Speaker 2Actually, you could probably get Bachelor people on to you would be in between.
Speaker 4Yeah, you would close the age gap.
Speaker 1You'd be the middle girl well, I am married, so there is that but I, like my friend, is going through a divorce and dating and I'm just like oh, wow, wow it just seems, it seems horrible yeah, half your age plus seven, you'd have 34 year olds on there.
Speaker 2Okay, isn't that the formula? Who are we? Talking about oh wait, that's after age plus eight. So 35, okay, 35 is good we can still work with that. I can do that I wrote down our enneagram numbers.
Speaker 4Actually that sounds exhausting I couldn't keep up with a 35 year old no, thank you.
Speaker 1Let's go to cabo, let's go, it'd be great it's some brad or mark.
Speaker 2Come on, let's go to cabo.
Speaker 1Five I need to be in my pjs. What are 35? Justin, it's going to be in my PJs. It's five.
Speaker 2Come on, let's get a guy though it's five, I need to be in my PJs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are 35? Justin, it's going to be some 35-year-old 35?
Speaker 1Yeah, what's the name of a 35-year-old? Justin? Oh, I saw it.
Speaker 2My name's Justin, Totally that the glasses.
Speaker 3That's hilarious.
Speaker 1Oh my gosh, yeah no.
Speaker 3I have a two.
Speaker 2You're a two, you're a four, three.
Speaker 3I'm a two, three, technically Okay.
Speaker 4Interesting Four three.
Speaker 2This room is all heart actually. Yeah, all heart, except for this, except me.
Speaker 1I do have a strong five.
Speaker 2You have a little conspiracy theorist, Dennis. I got a strong five.
Speaker 1That's cold as ice.
Speaker 2This is the one that is not draining my I am not.
Speaker 1My five wing is not draining your fluids, no fluids will be drained.
Speaker 3Absolutely none. That's so good, thank you.
Speaker 4Quite frankly, no fluids. Oh my gosh, it's the only thing he's doing lately.
Speaker 3You're so good at it, I've been hooked on it Trumping it. Yeah, it's the only thing he's doing lately. You're so good at it, I've been hooked on it Trumping it. Yeah, I take it back we have had fights in marriage.
Speaker 4It's over that voice.
Speaker 1Really she comes to stop so badly.
Speaker 4Like it's nonstop, I know.
Speaker 2But it's good you do need. I don't mean to bring up sex again, but you do need to do that.
Speaker 3Ew it. I think it's going to fit Kobe.
Speaker 2Meanwhile she's going, it's definitely not.
Speaker 1You're fine, it's definitely going to fit. You're totally fine. No worries there Might be too big, okay.
Speaker 2Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3On our wedding night.
Speaker 1No, don't do this On our wedding night.
Speaker 2No, I want to hear, Don't do this. We took a shower on our wedding night and it was the first time that she saw me naked and she looked at me and she just starts belly laughing. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1And I was like what is funny?
Speaker 2No way. And she's like I've never seen this before. You have an actual belt that's holding your stomach.
Speaker 1You look like you have a natural belt on, like his body made a belt and his stomach hung over it.
Speaker 4And it made me laugh so hard, even though he was really really skinny you still had this natural belt.
Speaker 1Now I have it, but you had this natural belt with this belly sticking out over it.
Speaker 3And now I have it, and I get it. Look it happens.
Speaker 1You can look at me and laugh later if you want.
Speaker 2No, I can't. I walked into the bathroom today and she's in the bathroom. She's like pull the curtain. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1I was like pull the curtain why? Why are we talking about this?
Speaker 2She's like pull the curtain. In the middle of the day.
Speaker 1I know well, my hip is hurting. I needed to soak in Epsom salt.
Speaker 3You are old.
Speaker 2That was maybe the oldest thing I've ever heard you say I'm sorry it was happening I had
Speaker 3to soak my hip so long Midday I walked like 5 miles today.
Speaker 1Wow my hips were hurting. I needed a midday soak at 2pm. I got new shoes and my hip's been hurting.
Speaker 2What'd you get? They're.
Speaker 1Nikes. But I can tell you it's right here. Oh, 56.
Speaker 2Yeah we need to shut it down. We're trying to keep them at an hour.
Speaker 1Oh cool.
Speaker 2Yeah, but I feel like we didn't cover so many things. We'll have to have them on again.
Speaker 3Ugh we can do that.
Speaker 2What else do we? I don't know To speak fluent Japanese. So this is episode 40 of my podcast, which you've not seen. I know you've seen it because you were the one that commented that you like the bony ass room.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 1Oh how funny, I forgot about that and you're in the bony ass room. Yeah.
Speaker 2So you have to tune in because the next. So episode 41 is going to be hosted by Jennifer and episode 42 is going to be hosted by Drew.
Speaker 1They have to bring because they always oh no, I have to prepare something.
Speaker 2I try to bring topics, because the origins of this was it was going to be about soul care.
Speaker 1It was going to be all spiritual. It was going to be, like discovering what God is like. And from episode one you should have never had me on it, correct, he's derailed the whole situation From episode one.
Speaker 2Yeah, Actually we should just call it derailed, because the whole thing, that's a great podcast name Derailed is so good, write that down.
Speaker 4Derailed.
Speaker 3Derailed. That's a really good podcast name.
Speaker 1I need to do my news one though.
Speaker 2You don't.
Speaker 1You and I should do it. Oh, my word, you could do your Trump voice the whole time.
Speaker 2Are you the more left of the two?
Speaker 1No, I'm just like unproblematic left. What you mean? No, politically, you said.
Speaker 4You thought oh no, it's just the voice, it's just the oh, you just don't like it could be anybody's voice. No, I just I'll.
Speaker 3I'll ride a bit until it's in the ground, dead like I, you know. I'll go, you know, as long as it gets a laugh still sometimes that bit only dies, when trump does they can't get me three shots, shots.
Speaker 4Haven't done it yet.
Speaker 3Yeah, I dodged two of them. That's what I said. I said, joe, you gotta try harder.
Speaker 2I don't know how this duo is gonna work, but you can't let him have a microphone that much.
Speaker 4Oh I know it's every new person we meet, he gets a new chance to try it out. You have the nicest, teeth, oh, my God Aren't they unbelievable.
Speaker 3I mean, you don't want to smile, you have great teeth too, no yeah you do, I don't.
Speaker 2I was thinking that earlier in another episode. No, her teeth are wonky, my teeth are jacked up? They're not. Mine are yellow too.
Speaker 1It has something to do with our moms? No, it has to do with your skin tone. It does not. Yes, it does?
Speaker 3She got them pearlies. I don't know how she did it, she got the pearlies. Yeah, you have nice teeth Like smile, unbelievable you have a handsome family. You're all good looking, oh thank you, but your teeth are great.
Speaker 1Thank you your teeth are great.
Speaker 3John is a handsome guy.
Speaker 1Yeah, he is you too. It's like crazy. There's just something we need to ask you about your mom off the air, but we'll okay. Okay, that's weird. I'm so curious, so weird, so interesting. Okay, I want to know the compartment thing, that you put everything in a compartment, yeah, gov. Have you opened the compartment back up and dealt with anything that you were stressed about?
Speaker 2not really that's why they called yeah, I don't know how to.
Speaker 4okay, all right, we'll. All right, we'll talk about that off the air, do?
Speaker 1you want to air it out right now. I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2Do you do you so, pete? I've clients have contacted me from this podcast. Wow, Do you recommend me?
Speaker 3Oh gosh yeah.
Speaker 4Oh one billion thousand percent.
Speaker 1Oh, a billion thousand. Oh, my gosh. Yes, both of you.
Navigating Differences and Finding Common Ground
Speaker 3That's so sweet it was perfect for us because we, like I don't know, we don't open up easily to people and I feel like the way you go about it it's a little more unconventional, which we appreciate, like it's a more conversational, like relationship. It's just different. It's not like you don't feel, like you're just a I don't know a patient, plus he is he's got a bad mouth and he's politically incorrect.
Speaker 4Right.
Speaker 1So like bad mouth and he's politically incorrect, right?
Speaker 3so like we need you guys, which is perfect, correct perfect for jennifer, which I love I'm a little raw, yeah, which is why I don't always connect with like like therapists and stuff like that like it was a little hard for me to like ever like feel like we're doing something.
Speaker 2I'm like what is this like?
Speaker 3right, you know like what is this?
Speaker 2well, and you're kind of like there are people who go to therapy and they kind of they go.
Speaker 1I know what you're doing here. Like you can't therapy me, so how does?
Speaker 3that make you feel though I'm like you know how it makes me feel I don't feel great about that. You know what?
Speaker 2I mean Like bro, what do?
Speaker 3you want me to say You're not stupid here.
Speaker 2If I felt great I wouldn't be here.
Speaker 1Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 4Not good, not good, all right Not good, I got to learn how to do that oh no.
Speaker 3You just got to cackle like Kamala and then we'll be perfect. Oh man.
Speaker 1The duo you can do it.
Speaker 2Cackle like Kamala. That's a t-shirt, yeah.
Speaker 1Cackling Kamala.
Speaker 3That's what we okay, remember, we just talked about that divorce thing we talked about.
Speaker 1I'm pretty good with people who are voting for people I don't agree with. I am too, but not my husband, that's right.
Speaker 3Yeah, I don't know how you do it, no, but I, uh, no, I really are not voting for kamala.
Speaker 1No, please, please make that I actually kind of believed it.
Speaker 4I did too. I was like the feminist thing you never know.
Speaker 1Look it's. You never know. With this one I just wrote a song with a.
Speaker 3Christian artist about politics and how-.
Speaker 1Really.
Speaker 3Yeah, but it's just about how we should be kind and not worry about, you know like, love our neighbor, even if they're voting for Kamala or voting for Trump, and it's good timed but well timed.
Speaker 2But I actually I mean, look, I have to realize that I have some strong opinions about things and there are things that I think I'm right about, and I have to realize that person feels the same way.
Speaker 1Isn't that?
Speaker 2crazy.
Speaker 4And so that you're just like okay, I respect that, you have reasons for that I understand.
Speaker 2You know, that's the thing.
Speaker 3You're wrong, I don't. Well, I'm that way with religion too, right. There's people who believe so wholeheartedly in one thing and I'm like, I respect that you believe that so wholeheartedly and I'm not going to come at you for that.
Speaker 2That's where I'm like this is we got to get Okay? So I mean, I've said this on this podcast before, so I think that unborn babies are humans. So I don't want abortion, right, Right, but I understand why somebody would get it.
Speaker 3Yes.
Speaker 2I have a teenage daughter and at least I can go. Yeah, I see where you're coming from. I just, until we get there, we're not going to move forward.
Speaker 3I think that's a really wise way to look at it. Her abby kind of had a stance like that too sometimes yeah it. It also like not not that I'm saying that I agree with this, but it made sense where she was like not that I agree with killing babies, but also, if it's going to happen, no matter what, why not let it be safe? If it's gonna happen, I understand. I was like that's. I mean, I get that point I get that point.
Speaker 1I'm not like I don't agree. I'm not what I said.
Speaker 3I don't agree, but I do like understand that I'm not going murder.
Speaker 2I'm just like, okay, it's somebody who doesn't like guns. I'm like, okay, I understand I I understand if guns are scary. You know what I mean. Like I get it. And until we're able to say I get it, I don't know. You know, talking to your parents about the sabbath, they were passionate about it. Your mom was heartbroken and I was like, well, if this is what you've lived with for your whole, I get it you know that's crazy, that whole conversation happened yeah, it was a whole conversation.
Speaker 1That's funny. Yeah, that's super interesting. Yeah, we were in our own world well, I think a couple drinks deep I don't good for you in your mom in your, in your parents defense.
Speaker 2They knew that we probably knew yeah, so it's not like they opened with. Do you believe our kids are you know?
Speaker 1not observing this happen. Yeah, yeah, right. I mean, they knew that. We knew what was going on with you guys For sure.
Speaker 2Hey, listen for the Adventist, adventist.
Speaker 4Say Adventist. I say Adventist.
Speaker 2We've played Adventist shows. We love them For the Adventist community out there, it's always good. We're still your people. Don't block us. We've been blocked by who we like the food.
Speaker 1The trans community in Dixon, tennessee, specifically what. I don't remember how that came about.
Speaker 2Okay, there was a podcast or something where we talked about.
Speaker 3I could see how you wouldn't have a lot of common ground. We talked about trans issues.
Speaker 2On the same day we got some hate from Dixon Tennessee.
Speaker 1Oh, that's what it was. That's what it was Okay. Oh, that's what it was. That's what it was Okay.
Speaker 2Okay, Actually, I think you hated on Dixon Tennessee.
Speaker 1Did I? Yeah, because I'm dying to go there to that hamburger place.
Speaker 2Oh, maybe it was Drew.
Speaker 1Maybe it was Drew, because I talked about how I want to go there and eat at that hamburger place that Scott did on Pilate Eats. Food, but that's the one place on the listens to us the.
Speaker 2Starbucks and Dixon are you know?
Speaker 1what well you know? Oh yeah, that's the audience. Okay, we have gone way off listen everybody.
Speaker 2Here's what we need to do so we need to have a part two of this. Okay, we need to have you back on in like six months.
Speaker 4I'm 100% down and we can talk about the fights yes, and by that I'm 100% down and we can talk about the fights. Yes, and by that time you guys will have Recorded some music together.
Speaker 1Yes, right, as MRTN, I am so excited about that. Look, we actually will.
Speaker 2If you do the MRTN, people are gonna think it's Martian.
Speaker 3It's definitely like A pretty Like. It's a big trend Right now. Yeah, take letters out, just take letters out.
Speaker 1Why why? Because it looks cool.
Speaker 3It does look cool.
Speaker 2I'm sure, what is it going to be?
Speaker 3M-R-T-N Just no vowels.
Speaker 1Just take the vowels out.
Speaker 3On a banner or on a hat.
Speaker 1I'm seeing it on a hat.
Speaker 3M-R-T-N is all the vowels out right.
Speaker 1Yeah, I'm just saying that's what you're doing.
Speaker 2I'm seeing it. It's cool. It looks TCH that would be.
Pizza Party and Musical Sign-Offs
Speaker 1I think he even talked about it. I don't like it. I think Hutch is better.
Speaker 2Did you guys eat yet? Because, we're going to throw some pizzas in the oven, so you got pizza.
Speaker 4It's honestly great. Is that right? Yeah, let's do that, because you're ramen people.
Speaker 2I don't think we have any ramen.
Speaker 1No, I never have ramen. Well actually we're not like ramen. What do you mean?
Speaker 3by ramen people. No, you brought ramen here. Last time you came here, you brought ramen.
Speaker 1Yeah, but you got it at a ramen place. We're pretty eclectic.
Speaker 2Bougie.
Speaker 3Ramen, we do kind of everything.
Speaker 2That's a good name, Bougie Ramen.
Speaker 3No, it's actually terrible, but anyway, so let's go eat.
Speaker 2Thank you everybody for joining us on the Gospel. According to Jeremy, you can find these guys Kobe James Music. Kobe James Music and your.
Speaker 4Ashlyn Martin.
Speaker 2Ashlyn.
Speaker 4Martin, I know I made the switch. It's so cute Look these guys up.
Speaker 2They're great, and look for the music that is coming. Yes, and you want to sign us off? You usually do.
Speaker 1Nah, I'm okay, all right, see you everybody.
Speaker 2Peace, thank you.