The Gospel According to Jeromy
Welcome to "The Gospel According to Jeromy" podcast, where faith, humor, and heartfelt stories collide in a lively conversation about life, love, and everything in between. Join your host Jeromy Deibler, along with co-hosts Jennifer Deibler and Drew Powell, as they share the Dieblers journey from being the acclaimed Christian band FFH to their current path in spiritual direction.
In this engaging and candid podcast, Jeromy, Jennifer, and Drew offer a unique blend of perspectives on spirituality, mental health, emotional well-being, and personal growth. Drawing from their extensive experiences on the road and life's ups and downs, they explore the joys and challenges of faith, all while sprinkling in some humor along the way.
Get ready for spirited debates, deep dives into controversial thoughts, and heartwarming memories as they invite you into their world of faith, questions, and spiritual exploration. Whether you're a longtime believer, a spiritual seeker, or simply someone looking for meaningful conversations, "The Gospel According to Jeromy" podcast has something for everyone.
Tune in to join the conversation, laugh, learn, and be inspired as Jeromy, Jennifer, and Drew navigate the twists and turns of life's spiritual journey. It's a podcast that's as diverse as their experiences and as authentic as their hearts. Subscribe today and embark on a captivating exploration of faith, laughter, and the adventure of the human spirit.
The Gospel According to Jeromy
Change = Loss
What do vintage trucks, unforgettable birthday antics, and a sweatshirt debate have in common? They're all part of our lively February adventure, where we celebrate the unsung heroes in our lives, like Monty, who helped Hutch score a classic ride with his keen negotiation skills. From sharing birthday plans to questioning the authenticity of our favorite fashion items, humor and camaraderie weave through our tales, making each story a treat. We even toss a playful "eeyaw" into the mix, sealing Monty's legendary status among our friends.
Journey with us through various pop culture moments, including a puzzling Saturday Night Live episode that skipped the talents of Coldplay and Bruno Mars. We'll express our mixed feelings about the Super Bowl halftime show featuring Kendrick Lamar and share personal stories of online shopping misadventures that led us to dream of moving possibilities. In the backdrop of these discussions, we give shout-outs to friends like Tyler Tortai, who brought creativity to our lives during the pandemic, and reminisce on friendships that continue to enrich our days.
The emotional rollercoaster doesn't stop there. We'll reflect on how humor aids us through anxiety and loss, diving into tales of pet ownership realities and the unexpected ways airline safety becomes a talking point. We'll explore the weight of life changes and the grief they often bring, whether through parenting milestones or personal growth. As we wrap up, the chaos of recording with Jeremy and Jennifer leaves us in stitches, with the promise of more shenanigans in future episodes. Tune in for a blend of laughter, introspection, and heartfelt connections that are sure to resonate.
Actually we're going to keep it to 45 minutes because you've got to go and we've got to download the memory stick. Everybody welcome back to the gospel, according to Jeremy. Thanks to the Hutch Dibler for our theme music.
Speaker 2:Oh, and the use of the headphones. Yes, Thanks, Hutch Gosh. What a guy.
Speaker 1:We're back. This is probably our last February episode. I am ready. I am actually ready for February to be.
Speaker 3:I like February Gone Well, that's right, my birthday is on the 25th. Is this airing after the 25th? I don't know. Am I already?
Speaker 1:43. I am ready for I. It is now 10 years apart.
Speaker 3:I'll be 53 in june that's why I respect you so much as my older yeah, I can like, I'm like a mentor almost.
Speaker 1:Um, I'm jeremy dibler. If this is the gospel according to jeremy, because life just keeps getting better and God is way different. And so that's the good news is that the more I get to know God, the better God is, and so that's true. Yeah, so I mean for our shout outs and call outs. This week I do have a shout out, but are you calling, are you shouting out God? Well, I just have to clarify the gospel part of this, because people are so. It's so jarring. I didn't realize the name of this podcast.
Speaker 2:I did. I tried to tell you what does your sweatshirt say Adore I? Don't know, it's another one.
Speaker 3:J'adore l'amour. Dude, that's rich, I guarantee you that sweatshirt costs a lot of money.
Speaker 2:Drew and I are staring at your boobs, did it? Did it cost a lot of money, not on Poshmark.
Speaker 3:Got it on Timu.
Speaker 2:I got it on Poshmark.
Speaker 3:This is my fake.
Speaker 2:It's used, that's nice, it's fake. No, it's not. Yeah, baby.
Speaker 3:Is it Timu Heart outlet? Aka came from China.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, it's not fake, it is fake.
Speaker 3:If it's from the outlet, it's a fake outlet.
Speaker 1:This is your new unit. You wore this exact same thing last week.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I wear it every week. Why does that mean it's fake?
Speaker 3:Feel it. Feel how fake it is. I accidentally bought it from a fake place in China. I thought it was an outlet, but it came from China. It's like cotton candy If you pour water on me, it evaporates. The jacket does. The jacket does Even the patch is like not even a real patch.
Speaker 2:Oh. Oh man, that's a bummer, but who cares? It looks good. Thanks, I like the colors.
Speaker 1:We're rolling right.
Speaker 2:We're good. Do I need to wear glasses on or glasses off this week?
Speaker 3:Glasses on point you're making.
Speaker 2:That's true if I need to be smart looking.
Speaker 1:Shout outs and call outs for this week.
Speaker 2:Already, we're doing that already.
Speaker 1:My first shout out is our friend Monty. I'm not going to say his last name. You know Hutch has been trying to buy a vintage truck. Is this the same guy? That introduced us.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's how you met.
Speaker 1:Monty knows, he really knows. I wish the dog would stop shaking. It's so annoying. She's got fleas, she might Anyways. So shout out to Monty Monty is great. He helped Hutch with this purchase because he knows a lot about old cars. We got on the phone with the seller and I have never heard somebody not he. It wasn't really a negotiation, but I realize now that buying something on facebook it there is an art to it oh really well he was asking these questions.
Speaker 1:you gotta know what to ask. He's like I won't say the guy's name, but he's like hey, man, tell me about this and now tell me about the thermostat, Is it? Hey, now these tires, they look blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 2:And he ended up going like now why do you want to sell this? We need Monty to do all of our negotiating, and then he said.
Speaker 1:Now I want to introduce you to my friend Hutch. Hutch, he's 21. This is he's new to buying vintage stuff. Hutch, tell him a little about yourself oh my god.
Speaker 2:Well, that's monty.
Speaker 1:It was great, like I, even I said at the end of this call, like the guy hung up and I said, monty, I'm never buying anything without you, like so I don't want monty to be my shout out now, the more you talk about him.
Speaker 2:I just realized how much I really love this guy.
Speaker 3:He's amazing he's a great guy. He's just really salt of the earth guy. He's one of those people that you're like wow, he's a seven on the Enneagram too, just like me, but he's way more mature. He absolutely is.
Speaker 1:It's not fair. But I was like he's awesome. When I was listening to this airball, this guy, it was like now, tell me. He seriously was like now, man, tell me, tell me how you came up with this price. Where did you? And then the guy was the guy basically told the story of how he priced this truck because you know the market is like it's 40 year old truck and Monty just walked him through it and I was like, okay.
Speaker 1:It's brilliant huh, there are things people are good at, for you know, he's good at this.
Speaker 3:Masterclass. Well, he was a sales guy a long time. I mean, like you know, he's been very successful.
Speaker 1:He has at that, yeah, but I'm like this is why, yeah, this is why. And he actually cared about the story of this truck. Yeah, like I would have been.
Speaker 2:Like no, he did, I would have been like he did, he cared he cared, I'll pay whatever you want, I want this.
Speaker 3:I hired his son one time Really Just based on the fact that his parents were awesome, and it worked out great, okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're great yeah. They're super cool people.
Speaker 1:Love. My call out this week is the SNL 50-year thing was great. You watched it.
Speaker 2:Well, you and I watched this, so, jennifer, and me watched some of the— oh, not the 50-year, not the show that was on TV. You're talking about the Ladies and Gentlemen.
Speaker 1:one Well so there is a series of shows that are part of this, oh, okay. And Questlove did one about— and I think Questlove's brilliant, but he highlighted all of the best SNL musical guests.
Speaker 2:It was just all the musical guests. It was a show about the musical guests over the past 50 years.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's exactly what I just said.
Speaker 2:You actually didn't, did he?
Speaker 3:It's very similar, but continue.
Speaker 2:It didn't make sense when you said it. You made it a little better.
Speaker 1:The beginning of the show is a brilliant mashup of all these different songs that have been played on saturday night live it's.
Speaker 2:The mashup is insane.
Speaker 1:They did the entire show on about the music and did not one time mention coldplay.
Speaker 2:Really, yeah, I think coldplay must have said don't talk about it, it doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 1:They did the Ashley Simpson thing when she lip synced.
Speaker 3:And she danced around.
Speaker 1:They did all of this and all of these amazing performances.
Speaker 3:And left Coldplay out.
Speaker 1:Stop the Coldplay, viva La Vida.
Speaker 2:Performance For me was like and you can't find that on YouTube.
Speaker 3:I've seen that in concert twice. That was amazing. Yeah, but you can't find.
Speaker 2:You cannot find that performance anywhere.
Speaker 1:Well, Chris Martin is out there doing his thing. The guy is just playing an enormous that gong I watched this thing and I was like-.
Speaker 2:It was the best thing I've ever seen.
Speaker 1:I can't even believe I'm watching this. So they left out that and they left out Bruno Mars.
Speaker 3:Oh.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 3:I'm like also one of the best concerts I've ever seen.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and they did, I mean they did this whole thing on the bleep in a box, the memory stick in a box. Yeah, yeah, yeah I mean all of this iconic stuff except Coldplay, and I was like what is going on here?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's weird. Call out, You're really far away from your mind.
Speaker 1:Call out to SNL for that. Questlove Well yeah, and he's great, but I-.
Speaker 3:That was dumb All right, that was a miss.
Speaker 2:That was a miss. Call out Next because I'm-.
Speaker 3:Drew, call out. Shout out for you. My call out is going to be-.
Speaker 1:So call out's the negative about this. Do I start with that one? You can Well, you kind of did your coat already.
Speaker 3:Call out. Well, it's really calling myself out for being an idiot and ordering something. Knock off.
Speaker 2:Oh, you ordered it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I ordered it online.
Speaker 2:Okay, now it's all making more sense.
Speaker 1:Came in from China it wasn't like a thrift shop popping tags I had a good call out, though, but I just forgot it.
Speaker 3:You had a week to think about this.
Speaker 1:This is typical Drew.
Speaker 2:It's also typical me, because I haven't thought about mine yet. My problem is I have to write them down.
Speaker 1:Seven days to think about.
Speaker 3:I'm going to get on a microphone and do a shout out and call out. I don't know mine, yet my call out is one of the most, probably the worst Super Bowl in all of history.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's my call out. We're still doing this.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's my call out.
Speaker 1:We're still doing this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean it was like a month ago. So what Still fresh in my mind and the Eagles of Philadelphia conquered them. Yeah, they did conquer.
Speaker 3:It just was not entertaining for me at all, did not enjoy it, couldn't have cared less. What about the Kendrick stuff? Didn't like it, didn't get it, didn't get it, didn't get it. It's not, just not my thing. I wasn't like the political part and all that. I don't care.
Speaker 2:I don't know, was there political stuff? Oh, yeah, are you talking about the Drake stuff?
Speaker 3:Yeah, but then there was also a lot of like. Supposedly it was a big storytelling thing, cultural America. I'm too dumb, I didn't get it. I just don't like. I don't know his music and I'd rather them use like bring in the Paul McCartney's or bring in I want timeless music at the Super Bowl.
Speaker 2:Bruno Mars was amazing.
Speaker 3:Bruno's great. Yeah, I just think they just got to be smarter about who they choose on that stuff or have enough mashup to where it's like you're appealing to like it's almost like you don't know your audience yeah.
Speaker 1:Anyways, I just can't believe we're here talking about the Super Bowl.
Speaker 3:I just I have a good life. I don't have a lot to call out, but that has stuck with you, it just was a waste of four hours? Yeah, it wasn't great, Although this is not my shout out but Emery brought like 20 college students home for family dinner that night and it was her birthday and they were all there watching it. How fun. It was awesome, Fun to hang out.
Speaker 2:That's great.
Speaker 3:Belmont students. And these are like great, great students. They're all like reformed theologies, oh, and it's like really interesting because they just want to talk about like god and theology, and oh weird total depravity. Yeah, all that stuff they're limited atonement um are you moving?
Speaker 2:because you talked about moving oh no plans to move. Maybe you move. You were talking about moving towards nashville a little bit.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean my interest rate's too.
Speaker 2:That's true. Why would you do it right now, with this interest rate?
Speaker 3:And I'm going to be empty nest in like five years.
Speaker 2:I just got my call out.
Speaker 3:Interest rate. All right, my shout out is someone. When you talk about Monty, there's two people. I've got two shout outs. Can I have two quick ones? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:If you're fast about it All right, tyler Tortai, great guy.
Speaker 3:We've been working together a lot and we actually I don't know if Tyler listens to this podcast or not. He wouldn't mind me sharing, but we were friends and I hired him to work with me at Crosspoint during the pandemic.
Speaker 1:Really smart guy as a consultant. And then there is on the day that?
Speaker 3:what was it called where the? Just did you tell tyler?
Speaker 1:that we work together. Uh, I don't know. We know each other.
Speaker 3:Okay, well, maybe we did okay make that connection, but anyways, we had like a internet battle at one point because I posted something the day of the capital thing that happened wait, gen six.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, I posted something that day.
Speaker 3:Oh, I can imagine because and he, it fired him up, and so he like that came at me.
Speaker 3:But just, he's a, he's an eight. On the anger, he's a challenger. I didn't engage but, like all my team at crosspoint engaged. There's all this back and forth and we had to shut down whatever. Anyways, we ran into each other again. Um, I think maybe you gave him my number. I did, yeah, so he texted me. We got together and just rekindled a new friendship and now we have a client that we're working with together out in Colorado. Springs.
Speaker 1:That's great.
Speaker 3:And you talked last episode. We talked about attunement and venting or whatever, but we just did a business trip together for a couple of days and had the most amazing time of just friendship and attunement and talking and we just he just had a birthday.
Speaker 2:I know because I'm on a group text with him.
Speaker 3:He's on my group text and we just we left that trip and both looked at each other like, hey, this is great, like we love working together oh good, tyler is a.
Speaker 1:He's such an interesting hang and he's so smart.
Speaker 3:That's the thing I mean. He is, he really is. You guys probably get along, good or no?
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, we're on. I ran into him and a friend of his on the street. Well, they had this group text going already of all these people who are like-minded, and so I was talking to him and his friend's like I'm adding you to the group. Well, I was talking to and his friends like I'm adding you to the group. Well, I think Tyler was like, um, okay, because they're super picky about who they put on yeah, and Tyler is smart like he won't go.
Speaker 3:I don't think he was super happy about it, but his friend added me to the text, so now I'm on this group there's a deep well with with him, but he doesn't let everyone in on that, like he just kind of tempers it a little bit yeah, I'm not sure he was it's.
Speaker 2:yeah, I, I think he's like well, don't you think you need to ask the rest of the group? And because we're picky, he said this in front of me and the guy was like nope, I'm doing it.
Speaker 3:And I was like you know, he's because he's experienced such pain and trauma in his life and with his kids and stuff. He just has this really interesting perspective on the world, like after going through and we shared some of that. I mean, I don't, you know, my pain is different than his pain is different, like we've dealt with different things, but still, I mean he just has been through a lot and I just was really enjoyable time all right, I won't do my second one.
Speaker 2:Well, he was already a friend, but we just deepened. What's your second one, monty?
Speaker 3:monty. I love monty. Um no, I was thinking about my friend. Do you know bob hutchins? I don't bob Bob Hutchins. We go to Luminous Parish together. He's been like a marketing mentor for me.
Speaker 2:Are you going there?
Speaker 3:again. We never really left. Oh, I thought you did. Yeah, we thought about it, but then we decided not to. That's a whole other story. You guys want to talk about that at some point.
Speaker 1:Maybe off air. I don't think that'd be a good idea.
Speaker 3:Let's do it off air.
Speaker 2:Let's do do that off air.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you just said do do Do do.
Speaker 1:Well, you know this is. We've had a couple of things come up on the podcast recently where we're like ah, let's do it off air, which is we must have some stuff going on because we literally do not see each other. I wanted to say something last week about this podcast that I wrote into and Jennifer was like don't do it.
Speaker 2:I forgot to talk to you about that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what.
Speaker 2:I don't want to talk to you about it on here.
Speaker 1:But I shouldn't mention it.
Speaker 2:I don't know if you should.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:I don't know if you want all the information out there.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:I don't know. It's up to you.
Speaker 1:Well, I sent in.
Speaker 2:Okay you.
Speaker 1:Is that breath I'm smelling from this dog.
Speaker 3:She breath like our yorkie's.
Speaker 1:A terrible breath, but I just smelled it it's her breath. She's got terrible it's also negligent pet ownership. I mean she gets a lot of attention but she's never had her teeth cleaned well, because it's like 1500 bucks well, especially when it gets bad, like this is it is it. Okay.
Speaker 2:I know you hate this, it's just I'm okay, you when I'm focused, when you have your comfort, when you have your comfort animal on you like this.
Speaker 1:She keeps me warm. Well, she also. You just go huh, like she is. Jennifer has made me go get something. She's like can you do this? I'm like babe. She's like I have the dog on me well, I mean she's comfortable bless you what are your shout outs and call outs babes?
Speaker 2:uh, well, I'm gonna call out airline travel um just before last week's show we had that plane that was upside down on the runway.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And it's just. I feel like we're crashing a lot. That's all I'm going to say. I feel like lots of crashes are happening. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:Statistically that's not true. But go ahead. I don't know. It's the safest way to travel.
Speaker 2:I realize that.
Speaker 3:I that my brother's a pilot, so this is really touchy for me.
Speaker 2:Do you not think, though? Lately we've had a lot more crashes.
Speaker 1:I think you're more likely to get killed by a cow than you are in an airplane. I know that, but I know the statistic, I think 100 people a year get gored by cows. It's still weird. It is your call out, that's fine.
Speaker 2:Right now. I'm calling out airlines. Airlines.
Speaker 3:All right, you're on the no-fly list now. Great job, they're listening.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because they're on here she is not whatever pre-screened TSA pre. Remember okay. You're already on the list you just went to the top when they had that one into the plane.
Speaker 3:Yeah, wow With all the figure skaters on it. Oh, that's so sad. I can't.
Speaker 1:I don't even know if we can do, can you? You're going to talk about this?
Speaker 3:This is ridiculous. Are you about to say something?
Speaker 2:Well.
Speaker 3:That's so sad, don't you think?
Speaker 2:It's horrible, sad. I was terribly upset, but the next day, when I found out that all the figure skaters were on there, what was your first thought?
Speaker 3:That's tragic. It's so sad.
Speaker 2:Terribly tragic. My first thought was Tanya Harding did it Wow. I know I know and I posted it on my Instagram.
Speaker 1:You did.
Speaker 2:Nobody got it.
Speaker 1:I didn't get it. She sent it to me.
Speaker 2:I was like too soon and I sent it to me. I was like too soon and I sent it to him and he was like what?
Speaker 3:I didn't see that one the next day Because I did take it down, because he made me feel bad.
Speaker 1:I didn't. No, I said to her so many times I'm not going to edit you, it's yours, I just don't get it.
Speaker 2:Like it's way too soon.
Speaker 3:It's great I get cherish your Instagram posts. But, that one's too far for me.
Speaker 2:It was rough, I know.
Speaker 3:I mean you got to give it a few months or something.
Speaker 2:Years, I think. So I was like Maybe not ever actually Anybody else. I wrote on there. I had a picture of her on there and I said anybody else suspicious? Or something like that.
Speaker 3:I can see in your face how proud you are of this post.
Speaker 1:I was like if you have Tanya Harding hanging out of a helicopter that makes more sense.
Speaker 3:He made one with Tanya Harding sticking out of a helicopter just for you, I understand masking pain with humor, though, like I have a tendency to say something really inappropriate right after something really bad happens, just to to lighten the mood yeah, I get that a little bit yeah, because I I mean obviously it's so sad, it's horrible sad.
Speaker 2:I mean what I mean just?
Speaker 3:yeah, that picture going around of all of them, it's just oof I can't even think of. Like that's my problem, I don't go there. Yeah, well, I mean to think of somebody like that's my problem, I don't go there. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean to think of somebody in Kansas.
Speaker 2:Oh, just getting their kid on that plane, getting the news that they're.
Speaker 1:I mean just this random plane you thought was going to end up in DC, Right, so sad.
Speaker 2:It's horrible. I mean no, and you know I was very sad about it.
Speaker 3:Doesn't sound like it.
Speaker 1:I was doesn't sound like it. I was the night that night it happened. I was like this is horrible. She. She's like that with humor, though, too. Like there is something about levity that she needs. Like we, when we said, when we would really fight. Like early on I mean, we're calling each other names, we're saying we hate each other, we would fight, fight, fight.
Speaker 3:And then she would just start laughing and I was like what is funny, you got to cut the tension I used to get. I used to get that feedback when I would preach and something would I would get emotional about something. I would always make a joke right after and I just and people would say, hey, you didn't let us just kind of sit in that emotion for a minute, because that was like a really powerful thing.
Speaker 3:I was like, yeah, I just can't I gotta, I gotta lighten it up, yeah or like in a meeting if it gets tense, I'm the guy that's gonna throw up you know something out in the middle.
Speaker 1:But well, she's on that five, eight kind of line and so I mean, like it gets dark, it's gonna sound weird, but I can't imagine ever spanking little Jennifer, because she would just, she would just go. Okay, is that what you got Like?
Speaker 2:Oh, I did. I remember my dad spanking me one time and I remember I can remember him spanking me and thinking you'll never get to me, you'll never see me cry. He literally got done spanking me. He's crying.
Speaker 3:And I'm going, you're like whatever.
Speaker 2:He's crying and I'm going.
Speaker 3:You're like whatever dude, what do you got that?
Speaker 2:was nothing.
Speaker 1:That's tough, I know what a jerk? Yeah, but look at you now. A little softy, oh yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's what I think old tender heart over here with the plane meme the day after it crashed. Let him see you sweat all right, do you have a? Do you have um? What called I?
Speaker 2:really like a book I'm reading called the Circle Praying something about the circle.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, Mark Batterson.
Speaker 2:Yes, I really like that book yeah.
Speaker 3:Circle Maker.
Speaker 2:Circle Maker yeah.
Speaker 3:That's your call out, or?
Speaker 1:sorry, I know it's been around forever. I just really like it.
Speaker 3:I've heard good things about about it.
Speaker 2:It's good, it's really good.
Speaker 3:Just draw circles around people and pray over them.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Makes me wonder, though, because I'm like, okay, should I have circled some things more in prayer and I gave up too soon. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Man, I don't. We should do an episode on prayer, because that's one thing I don't understand at all. Are those mints? No, these are blood pressure pills.
Speaker 1:No no, oh wow, how. Can we talk about this?
Speaker 2:Are you worried about me and the dog and you're taking blood pressure?
Speaker 1:medicine. No, this is so Okay, come to find out. It's kind of normal for MS people In the afternoon their blood pressure will spike, okay, and I'll get shaky or whatever.
Speaker 3:I've noticed you're shaking.
Speaker 1:I haven't had a lot to eat today, and so my doctor gave me these and they're like. You start out with one, maybe one and a half, like I think to overdose on these, you have to take like 90. It's almost like a melatonin type deal.
Speaker 3:He's taken like handful it did look like you just popped a whole bunch. It did.
Speaker 2:But they'll make you when you stand up.
Speaker 1:I have noticed in the afternoon, like I have. I do have this thing and it is an anxiety thing. I do have this thing and it is an anxiety thing. But our therapist told us one time if you are anxious or stressed and you can't figure it out, think back to up to two weeks and it makes sense. We're selling a piece of property we were very anxious about that. Is that what we should do? And I feel it now when I'm just sitting. Still, I'm like. So anyways, that's why, for those of you who aren't watching this, I just took a pill, so yeah, we'll see what happens.
Speaker 2:More than one no one and a half I took it's kind of looked like a handful from over here it just like did, partly because I don't have my glasses on even if you did, you probably didn't see it through the lenses. Yeah, they're dirty I get lots of compliments on those glasses, which is funny.
Speaker 1:They're stylish. I'm looking at your camera shot right now with the dog.
Speaker 2:I know she's got her head resting on the table. She's such a jerk.
Speaker 1:I don't know who is whose comfort animal in this relationship.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know anymore.
Speaker 3:How do you guys feel about rehoming animals?
Speaker 2:Sad. I mean to think about her going to another family. It would be heartbreaking for her.
Speaker 3:For her.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean obviously for me, but she's so connected to me and us, but she would be Think about re-homing one of our dogs, the big one. Mm-hmm, well, if it's not super connected to you, whatever. If it's not working, I mean I would be sad about it for like a day. And then I'd be like gosh.
Speaker 3:this is the best decision ever, if it's not working for your family?
Speaker 2:I totally get it.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But like this one. Look at her.
Speaker 3:I just feel like it's the like my people pleaser in me. I feel like I'm going to get judged big time about it from dog people.
Speaker 2:Oh, not me, and I love dogs. Yeah, If it's not working your family's got to come first. It's a dog.
Speaker 3:Here's the thing about the dog she is tearing. Sorry, our house apart.
Speaker 1:Oh, no, no man.
Speaker 3:It's just like I. Everywhere I look in the house it's just like evidence of dog, Like it's just everything is scratched and chewed and like, if we're going, I don't want to remodel and keep this Rottweiler and she's so sweet, she's a great dog in a lot of regards, but also I'm traveling a lot. We're busy. I don't have time to walk her.
Speaker 1:So she's just like a bored dog. She just chewed up my Air Force Ones. Oh no, no, not the Nikes.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:If she's chewing up the Nikes, no.
Speaker 2:She's chewed up Uggs. Okay, how will you do it? I don't know. Is there a website for re-homing? Oh no, she's chewing your Uggs. You could take her to like a shelter kind of place, like what they'll do is they'll foster her out, so it's not like she'll be in a crate the whole time.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean. I think there are websites where you can go and put, like, the dog profile on there and to rehome them or whatever.
Speaker 2:But you could also post it on your Facebook.
Speaker 3:I thought about doing an anonymous post on uh like on the Franklin Facebook page or something just kind of explain the situation. I would go to it.
Speaker 2:I would go to like a dog rescue place not the humane society, but a dog rescue place and just say this isn't working for our family.
Speaker 3:So I think she's five or six.
Speaker 2:She'll be all right. You could, you could, especially she's she would be. I think she would miss us, but she would be so much happier if she was like a family that actually like, or a place that had more yeah, or something, yeah, so yeah, all right, good thanks, that's what I need. No, I'm a an animal lover and I'm like no, it doesn't work for your family no well, it's not working for her either right right, you know true, and you don't. I mean you don't. Do you do an open?
Speaker 3:adoption. I want to go visit her every once in a while.
Speaker 2:No, you don't want to. You have to just let it go. I think you let it go. It'd be confusing for her.
Speaker 1:I mean, we've met the dog. She's a sweetie, so sweet she just it's not working.
Speaker 2:Nah, it's not working Well. She needs more attention.
Speaker 3:She needs a real dog family that wants to take her to parks and go on walks and runs.
Speaker 1:What do you think about rehoming?
Speaker 3:a kid.
Speaker 1:That's different. That's not a bad idea. Depends on the kid. Well, they're supposed to be rehomed at some point. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:You mean, they move out?
Speaker 1:Yeah I mean eventually it's time for that's a de-home, not a rehome.
Speaker 2:Well, they're going somewhere for you know that's a d home, not a re-home. Well, they're going somewhere.
Speaker 1:I mean not putting them on the street. Yeah, they're not going to go out on the street. I mean that kind of. That's a good segue into the topic I want to talk about today, this. So, like I said last week, I mean I'm trying as best I can to be always learning and you know, just as you know, long-term spiritual care for people like I I realized this week, most of my clients stay with me for an average of eight months and so we are getting intimately acquainted with each other and the thing that I realized that I'm doing. You know, normally clients come to me because they got a thing. It's like okay, I got to. You know, let's, and I really love to do this kind of trauma, work and care and get through a thing, but then it gets fun after the thing because now we're doing life stuff.
Speaker 1:I have a client that I just sent him his 23rd invoice. So that's 23 months and we are now like we're doing some real work. But I've realized and this isn't mine, I read this, but I read this stuff and then I kind of try it out and go man does this feel right? Life and growth equals change.
Speaker 2:Life and growth equals change and all change involves loss.
Speaker 1:And all loss deserves to be grieved, and that really is where the Lord kind of enters into it.
Speaker 2:Can we break it down?
Speaker 1:Sure. So you grow up in this little town and you go off to college and you enjoy your single life and then you meet somebody and you get married. And I end up talking to these people after, maybe after they're first married, and there's some sadness with that and they keep going. But I but I love him. I wouldn't, I wouldn't want it any other way and I, but I go, but you miss your single life and she goes up. Yeah, but I'm so I feel bad saying that. I'm like no no, it's okay.
Speaker 2:It doesn't dishonor him to be able to hold the it's attention to say to you I don't know that she should say it to him.
Speaker 1:Well yeah, maybe not, but he's probably experiencing like I, I would go. Hey, kids, it's okay, right, how about the mom that has wanted to have a kid for so long? Or the dad that always, always, pictured himself being a dad, and? And they have, and now they're going. But, man, what do we do with all our time? They're, it's a change all change involves loss.
Speaker 2:All loss deserves to be grieved so it's not necessarily a like that right.
Speaker 1:Yes, I mean like look a wedding and a funeral, both involve loss they feel different.
Speaker 2:What was the first part you said? Growth involves change, Okay yes, and we want predictability, because you've got to keep moving forward.
Speaker 1:We want predictability, so we push against the change. Mm-hmm Change, so basically, life and growth, equal change. Change involves loss. Loss deserves to be grieved and processed. I love that.
Speaker 2:Actually, I like it too, and it just feels like a lot, like I've got to think of so many things.
Speaker 1:Well, you think linearly. So for you it's you know you. For you, you like formulas. So the formula would be seriously like healthy life equals change. Change is going to involve loss. Loss equals grief.
Speaker 2:Sure but we go.
Speaker 1:why do I feel this sad? And then we have this amazing American life of privilege. So we're all living under this like we shouldn't be sad. We're like living in this martyr complex of, and so what we do is then we just move towards. Well, we need to help, so-and-so.
Speaker 3:And.
Speaker 1:I'm like no, no, no, hang on, let's talk about your pain. You're allowed to be sad.
Speaker 3:Well, I think in my case, like it leads to a lot of discontentment when you don't grieve the loss. Because I love change, sometimes I'll just change things just to change them, because I love, because I'm so excited about new. Well, you medicate with change.
Speaker 1:Yes, you medicate with momentum.
Speaker 3:When I was leading a team, they were like I would restructure all the time.
Speaker 3:And finally, the people closest to me were like, hey, okay, we'll do this. You have to promise us for two years you won't change anything. And I was like, well, that sounds like a prison sentence, but it was very disruptive I get what they're saying Cause it was disrupting people's lives and now I'm a part of. I've got clients that do this and I'm like, hey, dude, like this is feels abusive almost because you're you're not considering with empathy the people that this is affecting, just cause you need to feel something so you change. But the need to feel something so you change. But the problem is for me it's like I've moved back and forth between franklin and florida like three times. A big part of it was I would be so excited about what's new like in franklin and not grieve florida yeah, that over time I would be like I miss florida and then I would go back.
Speaker 3:Then I would get there and be like, wait a minute, I don't actually I don't want to live here.
Speaker 2:I don't live here to live here.
Speaker 3:But man, I really miss Franklin, so I moved back. Yeah, you didn't do the grief work, didn't do the grief work, so because of that I didn't allow myself to feel what I needed to feel until I actually closed that chapter well, so it just always kind of stayed open, lingering in the background.
Speaker 1:Well, I think the question is when we're, when we're making, you know, sevens level launch. So you, you know, you probably love to launch stuff. You know, start stuff 100.
Speaker 3:The sevens love a launch. Yeah, get a domain, build a website oh yeah, that's what I love doing. I mean, honestly, most of my clients. Right now, it's like I'm getting in the veins oh, I love it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love it. Sevens level launch. But that that's a gift. You know it could be, but yeah, of course, as you you know, I think the good question to get used to and I work with clients. I tell them is what? Okay, this is great. What are you losing? You know what I mean? Like and it's not just the morning of getting old, like, oh, I hate no, what?
Speaker 3:what are you losing?
Speaker 1:you know, and because you lay this thing down and you lose it, it does open your hands to pick up the next thing. But you can't just accumulate all these experiences without grieving the ones that you're kind of.
Speaker 3:Well, you were saying, jennifer, it's like it doesn't have to be a bad thing too, because a lot of time you're grieving a loss like, oh, it's got to be traumatic, but it could be a really good thing you're moving on from.
Speaker 2:But if you don't honor it. Right, it is thing you're moving on from, but if you don't honor it, right it is, it's like honoring the thing I was seeing. My friend posted on instagram all these they're not really memes. It was a picture of an older lady and it was like I met a silver-haired lady who and it was all these different ones, but it was like who used to have toys all over the floor. Now she just walks around with I don't know.
Speaker 1:It was like the fact that she doesn't have little kids anymore and they were all so sad yeah, so it's like emory.
Speaker 3:My second daughter's just turned 19. Was it 19? She's her. I don't know, I can't keep track, but she remember that country song. You're gonna miss this yes every, every time we get mad at her or say something like whatever, she'll just look at us and she'll start singing. You're gonna miss this. Every time I'm like I can't wait to miss this.
Speaker 2:She'll just shame us with that song every time. Oh my gosh, that's a horrible song.
Speaker 3:It's so Okay, winnie, if you don't want to be here, she cutting the cheese horrible song.
Speaker 2:It's so okay, winnie, if you don't want to be here, cheese, no, she's fussing at me.
Speaker 1:Oh, if I move her, she'll fuss sadness is usually the the door to gratitude and joy and contentment, and but it's a river that we don't want to cross you know what I mean, but it actually isn't as bad as you think, if you you know. I mean it just looks like, oh gosh, this is so I mean. Look, before I was a father, I didn't want to listen to bob carlisle's butterfly kisses because I could pre-flect yeah the sadness of what it would.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. You know also, little jeremy was in there going and it was like just listen to the song and with all that I've done, wrong unless I've done something right. I don't know the song I don't know, I only listen to it.
Speaker 2:I listen to it once I've never listened to it but the house, the house that built me I had to make myself listen to that over and over to desensitize myself the house that built me.
Speaker 1:That's a great story it is.
Speaker 3:It is literally my story. It's such a well-written song I mean the first verse is eerie yeah, I, I love songs like that, though that move me at that level.
Speaker 2:There's a new one called.
Speaker 3:Loving Someone Else in Jesus. It's a guy that just went viral. He just posted on Instagram it's like verse court and it's about. He wrote it's a story song about his ex-girlfriend who just got engaged.
Speaker 2:Oh, wow.
Speaker 3:And it's beautiful and his voice is beautiful. It's just him and the Cusack Darn thing and it just blew up just the last couple of weeks. He just released it.
Speaker 2:Oh, interesting.
Speaker 3:But it's like it's not my story or anything like that, but like it moves, like when I listen to it I'm like this is beautiful.
Speaker 1:It's serious, though, right, oh, no, no, no, he's like talking about this.
Speaker 3:Oh, you got to check it out, I will, it's beautifully written but you can feel you want to post that in the show notes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they'll be in the show notes.
Speaker 2:Good luck with that people.
Speaker 3:Just go, yeah, scroll down to the show notes and you'll find it. Yeah, good luck. These people have got Google.
Speaker 2:We've never show, noted anything.
Speaker 3:We have once you did actually you put a, you put something to show notes.
Speaker 1:You're like well, drew's not going to do it, so I might as well. I just think, okay, so that that's a great example, drew, because it's something that you're like, man, this guy is like authentically moving through pain. Yeah, I think when you start to see this like, uh for lack of a better word formula you can actually also see people who will. They're not walking, so, instead of doing the loss, the grief thing, they'll make a joke about something, or or they'll be like, or they'll escalate a meme well, no, they'll escalate in anger and you're like, oh, but that's actually sad.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean, you, but really it sounds like I've actually sat with clients and and I'll go man it just sounds like a lot of pain. And then they just break like oh yeah, it's pain, you know you've lost something like and the losing is is like we've had guests on this show like John Mays and Beeson and they've you'll see it in their eyes like oh they're well acquainted with loss, like we joked with John about the artist he passed on.
Speaker 1:I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about, like, the real loss of like. Oh yeah, I had to move, I had to say goodbye to that, I had to let go of their hand. Yeah, it's tough stuff man. But you got to let go of one hand. Following Jesus always involves decrease, and so you let go of that thing and movement, yeah, you're right, but movement is usually letting go of something.
Speaker 3:It's interesting because I just I didn't think about this, but I just went and visited my friend down in Chattanooga. We went to high school together and we were like best friends in high school. He lives in Chattanooga. We don't see each other hardly ever.
Speaker 3:He just had so much health issues in his whole life Like even when, when I met him in high school, he was already having health issues and now you know we're the same age but he's and I literally sat with him and I just started asking him about that, about like, like pain and about like dude, how do you even like? What's your relationship with the Lord? Like cause? You just seem like you've been dealt a pretty, you know, crappy hand.
Speaker 3:And he said that he what you said he was like, well, he's like I, just he's like, every time I pray to be more like Christ, it's usually what follows. That is an opportunity to like crucify my flesh, and he's like, for him and his perspective is like the road towards like being more like Christ is suffering, like fellowship and suffering, suffering, and so he's just like. He's gotten a place of like you know, a lot of contentment around that because he's his connection with god is still so strong. I'm like, honestly, he's kind of surprised. I'm like, dude, are you not pissed or whatever?
Speaker 2:even just this year, another thing happened where you had to call out god yeah, I'm calling out god on this exactly, but yeah when I get upset about something, I mean like when I do I don't know, when I'm sad about something, I usually can break it all the way down and go okay, really, what I'm mad and sad about is I'm mad at god it comes down to do. You know what I mean. Oh, totally like it comes at all. When you boil it all the way down, you're like, okay, okay, god, why?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I also think too, we humans just do this. We create ideals and, like I think, what happens is we go oh God, you're not. You're not like I thought you were.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But if you invite God into your pain, like there's like a razor thin line between inviting God into your pain and then asking for pain, I don't think you ask for it. Oh, I don't get that.
Speaker 2:There are people that are like I'm filthy. You can hang me on the cross with you Jesus, that song that says hang me on the cross with you.
Speaker 1:I don't know.
Speaker 2:I'm like what?
Speaker 1:I don't think so either, but you do invite the Lord into it. That line is it's hard. I avoid pain and I think that's okay I think, I think what, I think what.
Speaker 2:It's not okay, it's gonna come.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think the problem is the, the over medicating in avoidance of pain like pain comes, you invite the lord into it. You say oh man, I'm. I mean, I remember, I remember when I gave hush the keys in my car and he drove away and I was like yeah scary man, but that's what I want.
Speaker 2:But he was sad about it because they rode together in the car.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean we, our thing is driving and sweet drive and listen to music. And I handed the keys and I was like, oh, I forgot, this is what happens when you know. And I told her but we, I get it it, but that you know what I mean it's up to grieve it, right? That's what you're saying like it's part of it like it's changing.
Speaker 3:It's good, I'm so happy that he got his license and he's driving and I don't want to drive him around to his stuff, but also yeah, yeah I feel that every time that our girls go back to school you know they come stay for christmas break and it's like, oh, this feels like our family again and it's like oh they're going, but then, like you said, but I'm like, but you're where you're supposed to be, so I'm happy about it.
Speaker 1:I just think maybe we haven't done a great job of integrating proper sadness and so then we don't be sad because we got to be grateful, and then that builds up and it's store, and then now it's trauma. I'm like, well no, maybe we just didn't know how to be sad. You know, when my kids were hurt, they would run. You know that. You probably know this. I mean, my kids run past me.
Speaker 1:To Jennifer you know, for comfort, but she was really good at going. Oh man, that must really hurt. Rather than don't be sad, don't be sad. You know a lot of parents can't handle their kids sadness because they don't want to be sad. But you were great at that.
Speaker 2:Oh, thanks, but I don't know. I mean, I don't know, if it was real emotional pain, it might be different, you know.
Speaker 1:Well, when you know Sadie has had, you know she comes in and processes with us her relationships. We just sit with her. Right, right we're not I mean, wow, I want to kill the people on the other end. But yeah, sorry, I got to check some emails.
Speaker 3:Yeah, just yeah, go ahead, you want the.
Speaker 1:Wi-Fi password.
Speaker 3:Honestly no, I'm already on it.
Speaker 1:I think I'm looking up.
Speaker 2:No, it's changed now.
Speaker 1:I love, though we have a neighbor whose Wi-Fi is hide your kids, hide your Wi-Fi.
Speaker 3:That's hilarious, is that good? No, I was trying to find, because Chip talked about the eight core. Chip Dodd, the eight core feelings. Do you like Chip Mm-hmm, I do too, I do. I don't know him personally.
Speaker 2:You shouldn't be chewing that ice on there.
Speaker 1:I don't know Chip personally.
Speaker 2:Of course, if. I say something, he has to do the opposite Louder.
Speaker 3:Yes, so he's got the eight core feelings thing, I definitely have the resistance trigger.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, I own it, I have it.
Speaker 2:I feel like it's magnified with me too.
Speaker 1:Well, look we need to admit something.
Speaker 2:well, okay, look, we need to admit something that when you and I get on a microphone, we chew ice, we have a bit like we no, okay, listen. I told him the other day this is what was happening. I was finding rubber bands all over the dang house. I'm like what is going on? What are you doing with the rubber bands?
Speaker 1:because he wears. I use them as bookmarks, so I'll put them like in the I use a lot of rubber bands, it's okay.
Speaker 2:I'm seeing lots of rubber bands everywhere. What's going on? So now, just to spite me, he's tying my cabinet shut with rubber bands. He's leaving them everywhere, just because.
Speaker 3:I like that about you.
Speaker 2:Just spite.
Speaker 3:I found it. You want to hear it. We moved on. No, we didn't move on.
Speaker 2:I like that about you.
Speaker 3:Just spite. All right, I found it, you want to hear it. No, we moved on.
Speaker 1:No, no, we didn't move on. I have the thing.
Speaker 2:Whatever the resistance thing is, you are your pawpaw.
Speaker 1:With stuff that doesn't matter. So she'll tell me don't leave crumbs on the counter.
Speaker 2:Oh, so he'll leave a heart shape. He'll put a bunch of pile of crumbs in a heart shape. Oh sweet, yes, that's so sweet. Just don't leave crumbs on the counter, if I ask you not to she has, she has.
Speaker 1:Okay, so I cut my own hair because I don't want to pay for haircuts. Obviously, you can tell by my haircut that I do it myself. So, one time she kind of fussed about me leaving hair, so I did an actual haircut. The next time I did a haircut it was a pile. I took the whole pile and I went and asked Sadie.
Speaker 2:It's actually on my Instagram.
Speaker 1:I asked Sadie for a couple of her googly eyes that she has for her craft stuff. I mean, she was little and I just made this great looking pile of hair and put some on. Man, you put eyeballs on something and it's alive.
Speaker 2:If you go to my Instagram and then you go to my torturing Jeremy highlight it's in there.
Speaker 1:Really that little story. Hey Hutch Dibler appearance. Hey, do you want to get on? No, hey Hutch, I don't know if you. Oh wait, Do that again.
Speaker 3:I don't think you were Jennifer has to talk for it to see you say something.
Speaker 1:Jennifer, Hi Hutch, Hi Hutch. He's a great Instagram follow.
Speaker 3:Hutch is, he's doing cool things in the world.
Speaker 2:I think it is just Hutch Deibler, isn't it? Yeah, but Deibler is spelled weird, so Spelled like Seinfeld. Well, that helps.
Speaker 1:I'm just saying Seinfeld D-E-I-B-L-E-R. Alright, give us the oh yeah, go for it.
Speaker 3:Sorry, I did start checking emails. Did you really yes? Did you really yes? I forgot we were recording for a second.
Speaker 1:I thought we were just hanging out, we're recording. Yeah, I know, and we're at like 50. Oh yeah, we gotta go.
Speaker 3:Sadness, the impairment of sadness is. The truth is, I'm sad. Impairment is self pity, isolation is demand. I don't know what that means. The gift of sadness, though, is acceptance, and the need is comfort. So, unless you allow yourself to feel sadness, you won't be able to accept what's happening, and you won't actually be able to receive comfort, because you didn't allow yourself to be sad.
Speaker 2:Okay, so that's why blessed are those who mourn, if you don't ever mourn you don't get the comfort and the blessing.
Speaker 3:And because we don't know how to grieve we miss out on actually receiving comfort?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think we are. So what I've noticed is that we are so transactional that when we have angst or a problem, we want the forgiveness transaction, like I want them to make amends or I need to make amends or whatever. And I'm not saying you shouldn't do that if there's a chance. I mean, I think the Lord's clear about that. I was like before you bring some gift to me, I'd rather make amends. You know, go talk to them and figure that out before you come bring some gift at the altar. But if that's never, going to happen I don't know what he's doing.
Speaker 1:Oh, he's got play music night. Oh, there's a garage door.
Speaker 2:He's gone where's he playing music. Oh, what day is it?
Speaker 1:Monday.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:Is it Monday? It's Monday still. Yeah, no, he's got that thing tonight, the church circle thing.
Speaker 2:On a Monday.
Speaker 1:Well, he said, he's playing music tonight.
Speaker 2:Oh, I know, but that's usually on Tuesday. Okay, anyways, sorry.
Speaker 1:So if we're not going to get this transaction with another person or with life working out, what we do is we wait for that and we hold out for that and we go. I just need to forgive them, I just need, and I go hey, how do you forgive somebody that hasn't tried to restore it? You might have to let down, let go of the forgiveness part and just move into the acceptance of this is what my life is. This is.
Speaker 1:I want to try to make my life work with this dog. Well, you might not be able to.
Speaker 2:And there's where the acceptance piece comes in.
Speaker 1:You're like oh man, that's so sad, I couldn't make this work.
Speaker 2:I feel like I usually go to anger. Yeah, I get afraid of something and I go to anger. I escalate. I get sad about something and I go to anger.
Speaker 3:Chip says that um anger is one of the two of the eight core feelings that always has another emotion behind it right, always the second, always the second right. So that's for me.
Speaker 2:It's fear a lot usually when I'm yeah, when I have fear, I used to escalate really bad and then I I realized stop it, just sit still can you put her down? I realized that my escalating was from fear fear.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's mine usually mine fear of entering into the no, just anything I was afraid of like.
Speaker 2:Like I remember being afraid that I wasn't being a good parent and I would end up escalating at the kids just because I was like yeah, yeah, yeah, I can feel that a lot too, it's hard because we think about your life as a flow.
Speaker 1:You know you're on, I don't know. You could picture yourself like on a raft or in an air tube, on a boat or whatever.
Speaker 2:Lazy river.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're flowing. And then we have these disruptive emotions that are coming and we're like, no, no, I can't, I can't do this.
Speaker 2:I just want a lazy river. So much it's the when you're on a lazy river and you finally get relaxed and they want to hit you in the head with a freaking water hose.
Speaker 3:Why? You're just happy? Because they can't let you just have peace and relaxation without some reality.
Speaker 2:I just want to ride the tube.
Speaker 3:Isn't that life? Life is. You're sailing along and squirting in a face. Why? Nobody wants to get hit in the face with freezing cold water when you're on a lazy river.
Speaker 2:No, no, we don't.
Speaker 3:We're helping you make your point.
Speaker 2:Thanks, thanks, god for the squirting in the face.
Speaker 1:I mean there's so many things in that metaphor. Right there y'all. I mean the fact that we want a lazy river.
Speaker 2:I want a lazy river. No, not really.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it is, until you get hit in the face with the cold water.
Speaker 2:I don't feel like we've had lazy river. Well, California was sort of a lazy river.
Speaker 1:In a lot of ways You're in the rapids. Well, we just push against disruption.
Speaker 2:I knew we were there for a rest. I knew that, I mean, and I knew it was over. When we came back, and literally the day after we got back, my dad died and it was like, oh, rest is over All hell is breaking loose. And then Papa died. How many weeks later? Like three, yeah. And then Mama had a stroke at his funeral and died a couple weeks later.
Speaker 1:I mean, it was just insane. That's a lot, yeah, but that is where you just put your feet up and go okay, we're go.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:All those emotions, that chip laid out like here's what's hard. Emotions are meant to be moved through they. They just are. Feelings are meant to be moved through you move through them, and so most of us find ourselves in one of two categories we show up to the emotion and we're good at feeling it, and we don't want to move through it because that emotion feels something Anger, euphoria, whatever it is.
Speaker 2:You just want to sit in it.
Speaker 1:And then there's some of us that won't even show up to it at all. And so we have these groups of people going, feelings are bad. I'm not going to feel anything. I'm going to stay in my head, I'll figure this out. And then we got another group. That's me, that's the first one. Then we got another group that's like oh, let's ruminate on this. Yes, this sadness feels good, but really it's a flow.
Speaker 2:We're supposed to move through it, but you need to feel it enough to sit in it. I mean, my counselor had told me you want to sit in your sadness a little bit. You never want to sit in fear. Fear is not something you sit in, you've got to yeah, you move through it quickly. Fear is never something you want to sit in.
Speaker 3:Allow yourself to feel it, but then.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but.
Speaker 1:Fear usually has a why. Yeah, anger sometimes doesn't. Anger wants an enemy, so sometimes we're angry. Who do we blame for this? But sometimes that's the problem, some stuff there's no one to blame.
Speaker 2:I know that's why it boils down to God.
Speaker 1:It does.
Speaker 2:Right, I mean yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean depending on your theology.
Speaker 2:Depending on your theology.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean depending on your yeah, yeah, I mean, there are some people that will just flippantly go well, broken world, right, yeah. Well, that doesn't work. When you're in it, sometimes there is just no enemy you.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, with our house. I still am dealing with that and with losing everything we had and with the mold and all that there was just and the stories that went with it. As far as we were going to sell it and we had the realtor come, we were going to sign the papers. We went through all the paperwork, got to the very end. He's like there's no contract here. I've never had this happen. I've been a realtor for 30 years. Never, ever, had this happen. I'm like, okay, he's like well, I'll come back next week or whatever. Get these few fixed. Have the guy come try and fix these few things, whatever. And he shows up, never comes back. We still owe the man money. We tried and tried to get ahold of him. We have no clue what happened to him. Weird. Came back again. We're like we're just going to sell this house, hide at the market and then again no contract and I'm like what the crap? Then, two months later, the flood happened economy, wow economy yeah, the economy.
Speaker 1:Let me ask you this like let's just role play a little bit. Okay, so I if, if we were working together, I'll go. And what, when was that? And I wouldn't, I wouldn't want to know the year, I want to know the year of your life that happened. So we would go. Okay, when was that? Okay, what? 35, 36? I can't remember. So 15 years ago, you're probably about 37.
Speaker 2:I'd have to figure it out.
Speaker 1:So 37-year-old Jennifer is spinning and my goal would not be to help you get over it. You don't want to get over this stuff because it's still. You want to be able to repurpose the pain. So you're 50 something now. I'm not going to say All right, well, I'm 52.
Speaker 2:We talked about it earlier 52.
Speaker 1:Now, at 52, are you able to look back and go? Man, there was so much. It was literally a miscarriage of justice.
Speaker 2:It was, and there's nobody to blame Right, there was no justice.
Speaker 1:Correct, Are you able to look back and go, but I do see how letting that go there has been benefit.
Speaker 2:Well, sure, I mean. No, I don't know if that's though going, I'm just going to put a bow on it. Here's the good that came out.
Speaker 1:That's not bowing it it feels bowish, you don't want to get over it because you want to carry, you want to repurpose that pain If you literally would have lost something during that time, like a human. I mean, I work with clients who have lost kids.
Speaker 2:They don't. I would would never say do you want to move on? Get over, because they don't want to get over it.
Speaker 1:No, you never want to forget, so you don't want to get over that. But there is a way to repurpose the loss.
Speaker 2:You know it's not putting just so many things.
Speaker 1:It's not putting a bow on it, but can you see how god has taken that, put it in ingredients and worked something good for it?
Speaker 2:Sure. I just don't understand the purpose, Like, okay, if we were able to have sold that house when we were trying to sell the house, we came home from Africa and we're going to put a sign in the yard. We talked to the—who's the guy? We talked to Heidenway or something. No, no, no. Who's that?
Speaker 1:Bible study guy. Okay, what was that called it?
Speaker 2:was the experiencing god. Experiencing god, it was richard blackaby.
Speaker 1:We sat and talked to him.
Speaker 2:He was at our church in africa anyway, so we talked to him about what we should do and he's like go home, put a sign in the yard. You know, we're like we want our life to look more like it does here, with a small house, small life. And so, anyway, that's what we were gonna. But why couldn't we have the small house, small life? And so, anyway, that's what we were getting. But why couldn't we have the small house, small life with the money? Why did we have to lose all our money and health? Why, why?
Speaker 1:Well, you're the one that told me that.
Speaker 3:On next week's episode we talk about it.
Speaker 2:You told me why questions don't make sense, like it's not I know, I know, but I also told you at that time when we lost all the money right before I was like I don't feel right about having all this money in the bank. There are people who don't have clean water or food. It's your fault how do we have money just sitting here when people don't have water?
Speaker 1:I think that possibly and I was now when you say lightning strike when I say, can you repurpose that pain? You kind of you go. Well, sure, but that that is kind of your answer. Well sure, you don't know that you've completely leaned into the. This was what was best for me. Oh god, I I can't know that you've completely leaned into the this was what was best for me.
Speaker 2:Oh God, I can't say that, I don't know. I feel like it was like a little what's that poem. There was a fork in the road.
Speaker 3:Like there were two roads, a road, diverged.
Speaker 1:Yes, through the woods. I feel like there was, and I was forced to take the one less traveled.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:At gunpoint.
Speaker 2:I took the road less traveled, but I mean seriously, though I feel like there was a fork in the road and it's hard, because there are certain people that I see we had to go this way, and I see that they went this way and where they are in life, and I'm like God, I feel like that's where we would be, and I see us limping along over here and it's really hard, even though I don't know that's where we would be and I don't know what their emotional life is like. Because I'm there is good that happened. I mean, we would never be where we are now as far as there it is emotionally.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna have to process this later I mean when you say limping along, I'm like man.
Speaker 2:I we are limping along. We are not limping along, we are limping.
Speaker 1:How are we?
Speaker 2:I don't want to get into this.
Speaker 1:Can we take a ride in the truck? Didn't we talk about clearing and venting.
Speaker 3:Jeremy's going to need to clear. Well, this has been good.
Speaker 2:Drew, we're limping.
Speaker 3:We are not limping. I think you're in full stride, like a gazelle.
Speaker 2:That's what I see from my perspective I don't know, I don't know, we're galloping, okay, maybe I kind of feel like an ostrich maybe an ostrich? Well, they have.
Speaker 1:These are fast tiny little legs like we're moving, but it's like we're not going nearly as.
Speaker 2:We are a donkey at best donkey at best we're eeyore in it. Over here we are donkeys going along slowly on a really rough path, but we're pretty sure-footed like we're doing it, we're doing it all right, but we're donkeys I felt hopeful there, definitely not gazelles or ostriches. Where are you guys getting this?
Speaker 1:crap, we're donkeys doing it. Shut up, we're donkeys doing it. Yeah, that's the name of our duo Donkeys doing it. Man, come watch the donkeys doing it Gross.
Speaker 2:Stop it.
Speaker 3:One night only.
Speaker 2:That's the truth. Wow, the memory stick.
Speaker 1:Jennifer, can we play Donkeys doing it Tonight?
Speaker 2:That was from Alright. Let's go take a ride. Past episode Alright.
Speaker 1:Hey everybody, where are we? I'm sorry for this Crap show that you were part of this was a crap show.
Speaker 2:Sorry, couple of minutes. Poor Drew's just sitting here Watching us like a tennis match you seriously were watching us process in real time you were like you were tennis, matching it so hard I was going back and forth back and forth, I know, yeah.
Speaker 3:I was just. It's a lot to take in, you know is it? Was it a lot yeah, it was kind was a lot to watch.
Speaker 1:What is it like doing a podcast with Jeremy and Jennifer? Well, they're kind of a lot. It's kind of a lot.
Speaker 2:He's quitting, he's quitting this time.
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 2:Way home. He's quitting.
Speaker 1:No, I just no, all right, good, we're at an hour.
Speaker 2:Are we?
Speaker 3:We did our call outs, shout outs. You gotta go to the bathroom.
Speaker 2:No, I gotta eat.
Speaker 1:What are we having? Soup, soup, oh sweet.
Speaker 2:Vegetable beef soup.
Speaker 1:Alright, everybody Duncan, he's doing it.
Speaker 3:That's right, eeyaw, coming to a city near you. Eeyaw, eeyaw Bye.