The Gospel According to Jeromy
Welcome to "The Gospel According to Jeromy" podcast, where faith, humor, and heartfelt stories collide in a lively conversation about life, love, and everything in between. Join your host Jeromy Deibler, along with co-hosts Jennifer Deibler and Drew Powell, as they share the Dieblers journey from being the acclaimed Christian band FFH to their current path in spiritual direction.
In this engaging and candid podcast, Jeromy, Jennifer, and Drew offer a unique blend of perspectives on spirituality, mental health, emotional well-being, and personal growth. Drawing from their extensive experiences on the road and life's ups and downs, they explore the joys and challenges of faith, all while sprinkling in some humor along the way.
Get ready for spirited debates, deep dives into controversial thoughts, and heartwarming memories as they invite you into their world of faith, questions, and spiritual exploration. Whether you're a longtime believer, a spiritual seeker, or simply someone looking for meaningful conversations, "The Gospel According to Jeromy" podcast has something for everyone.
Tune in to join the conversation, laugh, learn, and be inspired as Jeromy, Jennifer, and Drew navigate the twists and turns of life's spiritual journey. It's a podcast that's as diverse as their experiences and as authentic as their hearts. Subscribe today and embark on a captivating exploration of faith, laughter, and the adventure of the human spirit.
The Gospel According to Jeromy
Jennifer Goes Deep
What happens when we deliberately train our brains to notice the good in our lives? Is it possible to experience genuine joy amid suffering without falling into toxic positivity? This rich conversation explores the delicate balance between embracing positivity and honoring life's painful realities.
We dive into fascinating neuroscience that explains how our brains actively seek evidence for whatever we tell ourselves is true—whether positive or negative. This selective attention mechanism can transform our experience, but raises important questions about authenticity and spiritual growth. Drawing from personal experiences and spiritual wisdom, we unpack a powerful three-part framework: feel your feelings, tell yourself the truth, then accept life on life's terms.
The discussion takes unexpected turns through reflections on making lists of "crazy cool things" we've experienced, discovering what activities put us "in the flow," and questioning whether being well-rounded is actually overrated. We share vulnerably about our own journeys through depression, marriage challenges, and career uncertainties while exploring how different generations approach emotions and truth-telling differently.
Whether you're struggling with rumination, feeling stuck in painful circumstances, or simply wanting to cultivate more gratitude, this episode offers practical wisdom for developing a healthier relationship with both joy and pain. You'll walk away with simple practices to implement today and deeper questions to ponder about your current season of life and what truly gives you life.
Hey everybody, jeremy Dibler here, welcome to the Gospel. According to Jeremy Drew and I are we're without Jennifer, at least till she finishes what she's doing.
Speaker 2:What do you want to talk about before she gets here? I don't know About her. Oh, should we to talk about before she gets here? I don't know.
Speaker 1:About her. Oh, should we just talk about her? Yes, put some Easter eggs in. It's her breath. It's her breath. It's awful. Hey, she has bad breath right now and we don't know why. I do. I have an infection, do you really?
Speaker 3:I have a tonsil stones. Yeah, those are gross, my daughter had that um.
Speaker 1:You know what that's like good pimple pop if you listened last week.
Speaker 2:It grosses me out.
Speaker 1:If you listen, last week we I actually had a topic I wanted us to talk about, but we were catching up because we hadn't seen each other in three weeks um, took us an hour yeah, it did, and we were talking sorry about that, about life and marriage and all that, and we never even mentioned God, which being that this is the gospel.
Speaker 1:According to me, there is. I mean, I think there's some good news. That's what I'm talking about today. So we're going to save our shout outs and call outs to the end. Also, we want to read yours. So if you have a shout out or a call out, let us know. The call outs are for somebody that's just really bugging you and are for somebody that's just really bugging you and the shout outs are for. But there is a question I wanted to ask you from last week. Okay, because you mentioned something.
Speaker 2:I got these headphones off.
Speaker 1:You said something like Jamie wouldn't even know. I don't even know what Jamie's doing. Would your kids know? If somebody asked your kids what does your dad do, would they have an answer?
Speaker 3:We don't know what he does.
Speaker 2:Do they know? Asked your kids, what does your dad do? Would they have an answer?
Speaker 1:we don't know what he does. No, my kids.
Speaker 2:No, okay, that makes me feel better. I think my kids would say that I, that I own a marketing company. I think they would.
Speaker 1:I think they I think they could get there. You look great, by the way.
Speaker 2:Thanks, man, I like that I took a note from you went with the lighter color.
Speaker 3:I like it oh, cool thanks I'm actually double henley today. Oh, sexy Thank you.
Speaker 1:I love how these feel. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:You're all about it. Doubled up, yeah, double Craig Works and also had to.
Speaker 1:I don't have any chest hair. I haven't had any my whole life, until now I have white ones that will appear overnight like an inch long.
Speaker 2:On your chest.
Speaker 1:Yes, I have to scissor cut them. I scissor cut them. You don't pluck them. No, I scissor cut Like I go over my chest with scissors.
Speaker 2:They can grow that long overnight.
Speaker 1:That's crazy, it is weird and I got them in my ears, oh yeah. And she will pluck them out of my ears. Without me knowing I'll be riding riding along in the car. Oh my gosh, she doesn't tell you it hurts so bad If I tell him he won't let me do it?
Speaker 3:No, that's true, it needs to happen because he doesn't realize. You must be quick.
Speaker 1:This is where the decade between us actually is, really, because you don't have any ear hair, I do, I do.
Speaker 3:And your beard is still very dark. I trim really it.
Speaker 2:It looks great. Well, I trim my nose and ears relatively often because I got a lot of nose hair.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I do have ear hair too, so I got to trim it.
Speaker 1:I'm whitening my teeth now because, after I lost weight, you can see them Nice, so I'm using these little Barely honey.
Speaker 3:My teeth are yellow. I drink so much coffee. It's such a waste of money for you to whiten your teeth.
Speaker 1:It's a little stick.
Speaker 2:I get on Amazon. Well, you have to because of how tan you are. It makes it look worse.
Speaker 3:But you know I mean any color your teeth are with that amount of tan is going to look white.
Speaker 1:Is it, should I be like wearing a mask?
Speaker 3:Probably sunscreen. I mean what is?
Speaker 2:going on here. Probably some sunscreen, I think 98% of the population would prefer to be darker.
Speaker 1:Here's the thing, true Tan bodies look better, I Tan bodies look better.
Speaker 3:I don't care about the tan.
Speaker 1:If you can't tone it, tan it.
Speaker 3:I'm worried about you getting some kind of cancer. Okay, Stinking.
Speaker 1:So we're in the middle of Easter week. Our podcast is now being released on Thursdays. This is Maundy Thursday, have you ever heard that before?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I hate it. Yeah, I don't understand.
Speaker 2:I don't know what it means. Is it Catholic? I just don't like saying Maundy Thursday.
Speaker 3:If it's Catholic, you'd be all about it.
Speaker 2:I'm Anglican, it's different.
Speaker 3:I don't know how but it is Lib Lib Church.
Speaker 2:I love my little parish. Leave me alone.
Speaker 3:Your little parish on the left side of town.
Speaker 1:Actually wait. This might not come out until the next week. I don't know If it is Maundy Thursday.
Speaker 2:We do Stations of the Cross, which is awesome.
Speaker 3:Of course you do.
Speaker 2:It's awesome Good.
Speaker 1:Friday let's talk about this thing you were telling me about, because before. I saw a book on your bedside table with the circle drawer the circle maker.
Speaker 3:I talked about it here.
Speaker 1:Okay, so now, but this seems along that line that you've been actually taking inventory of all the good things in your life.
Speaker 3:No, so in the circle maker, he talks about making a goals list.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:And so he goes through this whole thing about praying about it and asking God for goals and he lists out his goals, like he actually gives you his goals list and it's interesting. I mean he's like these are not selfish goals, these are goals. Oh Sadie's home.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:These are goals I want to use, you know, to further God's kingdom, blah, blah, blah. So yeah. So I started thinking about a goals list and I'm like I feel like I need to do an inventory of things I've done. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Like you've already accomplished.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Like not necessarily accomplished but been blessed enough to get to do.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, that's good, good perspective for you.
Speaker 3:And so, and not even that. Then it started turning into not just stuff that I oh, this is, but like stuff that is crazy, like it's. My list was crazy, cool things I got to do. Crazy and cool things I got to do. I mean I was arrested at one point. I mean I love that. Yeah, how cool is that.
Speaker 1:You were arrested. That's not. And also an IBM model on the back of the Wall Street Journal.
Speaker 3:And also on Billboard yeah, I mean, I that's back of the wall street journal and also on billboard.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean that's cool. The arrested thing scares the hell out of me I know me too.
Speaker 3:It's like my biggest fear. It's one of my biggest fears is being wrongly jailed.
Speaker 2:But yes, how cool, is that?
Speaker 3:but anyway. So I made a list of all these crazy cool things I've gotten to do. Anyway, it's.
Speaker 1:I think that you seem happier, since you made this list Really Maybe. So tell me what you were telling me today about like the what was I telling you today? Like you're just trying to front of mind keep oh right, just be like okay.
Speaker 3:So there's neuroscience about saying, okay, I am so lucky, good things happen to me.
Speaker 2:I was going to ask you about the manifesting type stuff.
Speaker 3:It's not really manifesting, so it's just going I'm lucky. So what happens is it turns on this thing in your brain and I can't remember the name of it, but it's H-A-S is the initials of it so something, something on your brain. They call it the has, and so when you start looking for, so, when you say that about yourself all day, your brain will automatically start looking for those things. Oh, here's why I'm lucky.
Speaker 2:Oh man, look at it. Here it happened again. Look at me here it happened again. Yeah, I got a parking spot. This is awesome, I'm so lucky.
Speaker 3:So if you go oh, I'm so tired, everything is oh bad things happen to me all the time. I never win anything.
Speaker 1:Your brain will automatically pick those things out. Interesting, yes. So kind of like, if you go to buy a Jeep, if you want to buy a Jeep, all you see is Jeeps.
Speaker 3:Yes, so if you start, if you go like I'm looking at Jeeps, you'll notice every Jeep, because your brain turns on in that area, so are you noticing better?
Speaker 1:I mean, how far into this are you?
Speaker 3:I'm not very far into that. I did feel like it was fun doing the list, yeah, and just going, huh, because I also had somebody come into my job and pray for me and go. I just really feel like I'll have people say I have a word for you, or whatever. Yeah, feel like I'll have people say I have a word for you, or whatever. Yeah, and he was like I really feel like God is saying I want you to take this thing off the shelf that you put on the shelf years ago, that he wants you to do, and I'm like, well, crap, what the heck is that you know? So anyway. So I'm like, okay, what?
Speaker 1:do you know what it is?
Speaker 2:first I'm hearing this story well then, maybe the guy was just crazy well, maybe I'll see what I did. Now I'm looking for I'm skeptical. Now you're looking for the bad thing, if I just was like oh yeah, maybe he was, I just have yeah.
Speaker 3:You're not into the words. I love them.
Speaker 2:It's a problem for me. I've got a word for you. They're false.
Speaker 3:It's a problem for me. We went to the prayer room.
Speaker 3:We had a friend that was up in kansas city at the international house international house prayer and we were going to, we were going to visit him and he's like oh, I want you guys to go in the prayer room, so you go in there, and then people, they have a prophecy room. And I told him. I said it's not gonna, it's not gonna work. I'm telling you, I, if I were not a christian, I would be all about horoscopes. I just want somebody tell me what's going to happen. Do you know what I mean? I would be getting my fortune read. I would be doing all that crap. So I love a good word. So when we went there, of course, the prayer rooms happened to be closed. They're open all the time, it's a 24-7.
Speaker 2:It's known for that. They were closed.
Speaker 3:They had them closed for that.
Speaker 2:That was your word. Stop looking for words god.
Speaker 3:God was like look, just live in the moment you're not into the love of all.
Speaker 2:No, I believe in them, that they exist. I just think they're just way overused and abused yeah so now I don't.
Speaker 3:I have very low um trust for that stuff yeah, well, and they're always so vague too yeah, like I just I told you about this and actually you were like that's very vague I feel like they're control mostly control tactics or power moves.
Speaker 2:Well, somebody will go. I see breakthrough like well, yeah okay yeah you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Like, I want something specific, like you know, just something like you're gonna do this next week and it's gonna be like this yeah, I'm just over the church trying to just get good things from god, always like I.
Speaker 2:You know this idea of like just there's just very little tolerance for reality and the pain of life in most evangelical churches. So it's like, let's just keep believing for a miracle. It's like, and you just get almost get obsessed with it, like this miracle theology, and I'm like, well, that's kind of not what jesus said.
Speaker 2:He told his disciples they were going to get killed so right, you know, and I, I believe we, god is a good god, good dad, hey, I'm talking here, dog, dog, hey, winnie, jeez, stop it. I'm driving home a point I believe god's good and wants to do because I love what you're saying about whether it's manifesting or just thinking positively and that actually moves things, it changes things. I've felt that last few years. So I think he is wanting whether it's god, the universe, whatever to do amazing things for his kids. But I just don't love this idea of like this expectation that, at least in the circles I've come from recently, there's an obsession over god, not making us feel any kind of discomfort or pain or oh, that you're not healed from cancer.
Speaker 3:Well, you didn't have enough faith and you can't speak it. Don't even speak that you have cancer. Well, okay so tough I don't want to talk about the fact that I don't thank the lord, but I'm saying like, as I don't want to talk about this bad thing that's happening to me, but I need to talk about it. I can't pretend it's not happening most people need more.
Speaker 2:They need more instruction or help or encouragement around how to. What do I do when the happen?
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:We need more of that, because the church is not helping people process trauma and pain in an honest way. And so it's like okay, I hear what you're saying from the stage, but my loved one just passed away or just got cancer or whatever, and so like, help me with that please.
Speaker 1:Like I need to know where's God and all that mess and it's just kind of not really all that existent in the church it's tough, yeah, at least my experience there's probably some great churches out there that do that, but what I was asking you about in the car today was you were telling me this and I was like that's so interesting, because I I think it was. I think I was actually talking to somebody who mentioned this in like a teaching or something, and they were like you become what you pay attention to and I was like, well, hang on a second. Like you become what.
Speaker 3:No, you move towards it. What?
Speaker 1:he was saying is you move towards this thing and you start noticing it more and it draws more of your attention and you become like the thing you pay attention to. I think he might've been talking about how attention is the new currency. Like, we spend three things time money, attention. We pay attention, we pay money. And so, like he I think he might've been talking about idolatry, I can't remember. I wish I could remember the context, um, but then I started to like play it out in my mind. I'm like you know, this is probably true Like we start to put our trust in the things we pay attention to and, like you know, the first commandment is you shall have no gods before me. Okay, great. Second is don't make an idol.
Speaker 1:I was like well why do you need commandment two if there's commandment one? Yeah, but people believe in god and still put their trust in something else and it's like this third party you kind of bring into your relationship with god, and I don't know is. It is stuck with me, for that was february and I think about it a lot and. What, what? That guy said, yeah, this paying attention to kind of like thing and I love how like the neuroscience is kind of converging with yeah.
Speaker 3:It's so interesting you can't say neuroscience. Okay.
Speaker 1:You say neuroscience.
Speaker 3:Neuroscience. I am my father's daughter, which.
Speaker 1:I love you just take out Neuroscience. It's such a Southern thing. People around here say Tuesday, tuesday, wednesday.
Speaker 3:You know, that reminds me. This is kind of different, but when you ride a horse, when you're riding a horse, you look where you want the horse to go. So because your body will automatically shift its weight. So when you're doing a jumping situation, you always look to the next jump, so the horse will automatically like you'll have to steer it, but your body will lean it towards it. So you look where you want the horse to go, and so it's just interesting.
Speaker 1:That's so good, that's what.
Speaker 3:I think of Like if you look towards it, you'll steer towards it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that actually Look at going to you're it will you'll steer towards it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I love that actually, Look at you. I'm deep dude, Well. And there's also it's like Look at you over there Like we're supposed. You hear the wind blowing out there. It's, it's kicking up. Are we getting?
Speaker 2:ready to have another storm.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I might have to stay here for the night.
Speaker 1:Hey, I'm down. That would be the first time we hung out. We'd have fun, it would ruin everything.
Speaker 2:Do it, it would ruin it.
Speaker 3:Oh my gosh, we would have hot cocoa.
Speaker 1:What if we learned we didn't like each other without a microphone?
Speaker 3:Oh well, he is fat.
Speaker 2:I'll probably eat all your food.
Speaker 1:For sure, I'll eat you at a house and home. I'll be in your pantry and you realize that I'm mean somehow, yeah, just start saying god, he's aggressive yeah, yeah, and then I'll just be like blunt back to you and hurt your feelings um sorry, that's good, I'm kidding.
Speaker 1:No, I know okay, so you're talking to me about this today and then you left going to walk and I just was just sitting thinking about this and I'm like this is this is such a nuanced subject because Paul says to think about what's true, yeah and you know both. A lot of times both things can be true. You can be going through a lot of pain and also be like drawing circles around your good stuff and it's like you almost stop.
Speaker 2:All right.
Speaker 1:It's like you almost pick what's true. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Kind of Well, think about Paul. And what is the happiest book in the Bible, would you guys say?
Speaker 2:Philippians.
Speaker 3:Yeah, where did he write Philippians?
Speaker 2:The jail, the prison cell Ta-da. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:Like he, I mean what?
Speaker 1:is going on right now.
Speaker 2:Theology baby, I don't know. I was like. I felt like I was in a hot seat.
Speaker 1:Not only did you preach that, you asked us questions.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Where was he?
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, I hate it when preachers do that, Say it together. It just makes you feel stupid when they're like and he was, and you're like.
Speaker 3:I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 2:I know, I should know, but now I feel shame.
Speaker 1:Well, how did you know? Like it was funny, she said what's the happiest book in the Bible? And you knew.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I used. Oh right, what happened? Shit in the bed, okay, so happiest book in the Bible.
Speaker 1:I'll bleep that out Happiest book in the Bible.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm saying like he didn't look at what was really happening, he didn't look at his circumstances. He even says don't look at your circumstances.
Speaker 2:Philippians is known as the most joyful book in the Bible, so it's something like it mentions joy 16 times and it mentions your mind, or joy 19 times, mentions your mind 16 times. So there's like this direct connection between what you think and you experiencing joy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, see, yeah, this is what I'm saying, which I was talking to a client about that this last week and I recommended a book to her um, and it was a book that my mama Leah. I write about it. I write about her a lot in my memoir.
Speaker 3:Memoir.
Speaker 1:So Amos and Leah. Papa and Mama were very conservative, but she had gone through a really big depression when she was younger and I was probably 35 at this time and I was also really battling with depression and she gave me a book that was like contraband. She gave me Power of Positive Thinking.
Speaker 3:Yeah, oh my gosh, my parents thought that was literally written. It could have been written by the devil.
Speaker 1:Okay, so she must have known, she must have been around for that, yeah sure, Because by this time that book had come and gone, but she said listen, this really helped me.
Speaker 3:Who wrote that?
Speaker 1:Norman Vincent.
Speaker 3:Peay, yes, that's who Trump says is his pastor.
Speaker 1:Is he living?
Speaker 3:No, but he grew up. They would go if they went to church. They went to his church, I didn't even know he was a pastor Now it's Paulaula white we're just speaking of words what is happening? I'm gonna buy some blessings from her. What is going on?
Speaker 1:but anyways, what and what I thought odd about it is I read it and I was like there are there's. I think it actually starts out with a scripture from philippians. So I was like how is this contraband? But it's really, really good. It's about you know what happens to us when we start changing our thinking.
Speaker 2:Well, and I think that's what you were saying, the point of Philippians was in a jail cell like your circumstances. Don't define that. You can. You can choose and train your mind to be grateful and have joy, Even if you're when does it become toxic positivity, though?
Speaker 3:when does it become?
Speaker 2:Joel Osteen fake.
Speaker 3:Yeah, when is it like you're not dealing with reality?
Speaker 1:well, that's the hard thing is is positivity toxic or is delusion toxic?
Speaker 3:well, that's what I'm saying, like, when does it become?
Speaker 2:I don't know, but look at, okay well, I don't think it's a denial of the circumstance, like you, don't? You're not just pretending you're not in jail. You know what I'm saying. Like chip uh, my old there, my former therapist, would say all the time you have to feel your feelings, tell yourself the truth and then accept life on life terms okay, falling in love with reality. Feel your feeling feel your feeling, so I feel something, so you don't ignore that so let's think of how paul would have done this.
Speaker 3:Paul would have been like I'm in jail and it sucks.
Speaker 2:I'm super sad about this.
Speaker 3:Yes, I'm super sad I'm in jail.
Speaker 2:Yeah, feel your feelings. Yeah, but here's the truth.
Speaker 3:Then the truth.
Speaker 2:Tell yourself the truth Tell yourself the truth.
Speaker 3:The truth is, god is good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I can still advance the gospel through these letters, whatever his truth.
Speaker 3:Okay, and then?
Speaker 2:the last is this it's basically a surrender posture. You just accept life on life's terms. It's like I got to surrender to what's going on.
Speaker 1:That Okay.
Speaker 3:That's really good.
Speaker 1:I don't want to punch holes in this, because I think that is completely like.
Speaker 3:Fell your feelings. I wrote fell.
Speaker 1:That is a really I do think Like so, oh, part of the reason I asked you if your kids know what you do, because my kids have no idea what I do.
Speaker 3:They just think I talk to people.
Speaker 1:But I see clients and a lot of them it is trauma work, like inner child work, spiritual direction, and I also have some that they're in the middle of something right now and you can't tell somebody who's being, who, like their spouse, is causing them pain. You can't just go be happy you know what I mean Like that's super damaging. Well, that's what the church does Right. So where is like? And some of our listeners have been told that before you know, take stock in your blessings.
Speaker 3:I know Like a Christian, easy answer. You know what I mean. Like God is good.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, if I have a client whose husband or wife is actively harming them and I'm not talking just about, like they're sure, if someone's hitting you, you know Emotionally they're manipulating them and using them in a narcissistic way.
Speaker 2:Well, that would still be under. Tell yourself the truth, in my opinion, okay, because you would say hey, what do I feel? I feel fear. Well, tell yourself what's true. It's okay to leave this yeah marriage and I'll be okay to do that like, yes, I'll be okay, I'll be okay okay, that's good what they would tell us that in rehab all the time, because of course, all the guys are scared about what's? What's my life going to be like out of here?
Speaker 2:yeah and they would say all the time like whatever, no matter what happens, you're gonna be okay. Just so it wasn't like a denial of like, yeah, you might lose your family, yeah, you might whatever, but you're also you're gonna and you're gonna be okay in that you'll be okay, and they teach you I think we're talking about this on here the ifs. They teach you the internal family systems, which is the parts work, which means I can be sad and grateful and I can I'm.
Speaker 2:I'm complex enough as a human to carry multiple things at once right yeah, and I don't have to be like are you glad or are you sad? Like which one is it like? Well, I feel a little bit of both right now.
Speaker 3:Yeah, happy, sad, honor those parts. How weird to think that when we were kids there wasn't any of that we didn't we done, we didn't even know feelings.
Speaker 1:Feelings were none of that. There was none of that, nobody talked't we done.
Speaker 3:We didn't even know feelings. Feelings were bad. None of that. There was none of that nobody talked about just give it to god.
Speaker 2:Man, yeah, surrender it and give it to god.
Speaker 3:Don't listen to those feelings, man what a hard way to try and raise a family and get through life. I mean, that's horrible.
Speaker 2:What it's freeing in some ways it's. It's difficult to now for me, because I feel like we're in that generation of in between, like it's not. We haven't, weren't raised with it, but now we know it and so we're trying to practice it I think future generations are going to be more intuitive as far as like being raised with honoring feelings and stuff and they'll probably have to.
Speaker 2:I think it's really screwing up hutch's generation well, well, that's what I was about to say. They, I think they might, they might overcompensate. Yeah, they're like all about feelings.
Speaker 3:It's like okay, yeah, but you're not telling it's truth at all well, there is no truth it's all about. Well, we don't want to hurt anybody feelings are meant.
Speaker 1:This is where I think we've overcorrected a lot. Feelings are meant to be moved through all of us right and so, even like fear, yes, you show up to it, feel it it, move through it. Anger is always to be moved through Like a person who stays Fear too.
Speaker 3:You got to move through fear.
Speaker 1:A person who stays in anger ends up bitter. But also euphoria is meant to be moved through, like if you try to stay in euphoria, in that if you try to capture it, it it'll stale out and then you become an addict. There's toxic toxic gladness.
Speaker 2:I mean gladness is a great, but it can also be there's an abuse side of that too.
Speaker 3:What does that mean?
Speaker 2:well, just the idea of like these. So again, chip's got that book where he talks about the eight core feelings you know, one of the only like pot. There's not good or bad ones, but the only one that's more positive on the list is glad, and there is an impairment of each one of those feelings, but there's a gift in each one of those. So a lot of people say well, what's the impairment of gladness? You can't have too much gladness. You can.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, it's the people that you can.
Speaker 2:Well, think about the people that are gluttons or that are like they'll. They're just so happy, Like it's uncontrolled gladness They'll drink themselves. They're just so like out of control. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:It's like I don't know what you're saying.
Speaker 1:Like.
Speaker 3:I'm trying to picture this. It will eventually. I don't know, what that means.
Speaker 1:Gladness. If you try to stay in euphoria and you try to hold onto it, it will eventually become an avoidance of something else, because don't live in heaven, and so when something that is not gladdening happens, then you have, I guess, what they call toxic positivity.
Speaker 2:You're just trying to hang on to that. Yeah, like it's a it's a refusal to embrace any kind of reality so what I tell my clients is this is a flow.
Speaker 1:This is a flow that's a moving stream, and when a feeling happens, yes, get up, get out, camp on the shore, but it's just a camp, you're not meant to stay there. And then you keep moving and like if there's somebody or something in your life that is keeping you from the flow. You you and so maybe that would be an abusive partner or like, and I think that sounds very much like you're keeping me from the flow.
Speaker 3:I'm out Like, can you? I mean, could that be used for people who are just like I think my partner is?
Speaker 1:Well, I'm sure, yeah, do you? Know what I mean, but I think, more often than not, like sure, there are some people that might hear what I say and go well, this is permission to leave my husband. I wouldn't want this to be that, but I think it's probably. That is way more rare than I mean abusers.
Speaker 3:Oh, I'm sure more people stay with abusers than they don't they?
Speaker 1:leave six. The average is six times, and then they actually leave on the seventh Interesting. So a person will go back to their abuser an average of six times, and then and what cause? Here's the mechanics of this. Is this you guys just might be interested in this. We actually want, we don't want to get divorced, and so a person will be mistreated, abused, traumatized, whatever, but it's usually not constant 24, seven, and so they're looking for reasons to stay married, and so you're looking for those reasons, and then that person might do something that's nice, or, and then you know your, your argument against yourself gets bolstered. Well, they don't. They don't know her like I do.
Speaker 2:She's really she's not that bad. Like she's going to beat you down, then reel you back in, then beat you down and so that person might do some good things.
Speaker 1:And then it gets bolstered. And then, once that thing gets bolstered, it becomes your version of the truth.
Speaker 3:Oh, right If you lean into it enough, no matter what it is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so that's why it takes a person a while. I mean, I had a client whose significant other was breaking things in the house. They were taking the spouse's clothes and like just these these things that you go, who would do this thing? And they just they stay until finally something happens and they break. Usually, if a person sees the spouse then start to do this to the kids, oh yeah, the draw the line. That will be the end. Yeah, interesting, but will they will endure it themselves. But here's the other thing that happens. So trauma abuse is what happens to a person. Trauma is what happens in them, like the breaking. Well, some of us have raised our kids in a really gentle, like you know. We've been like and and then our kids.
Speaker 1:Later on they feel what they think is trauma, and if they don't have other voices in their life, then that becomes their truth yeah and that's why they have to have other voices that go. Oh, dude, you don't you? Don't know drama so this is kind of where sheltering can backfire yeah, I can see that because then that becomes true, kind of where sheltering can backfire.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I can see that, because then that becomes true and then they start to ruminate on this like it feels like every generation flops back and forth, though on a lot of different things, it's like you can have, you know, a dad that's not very engaged at all and so the son becomes an overly engaged father and whatever, or whatever it might be.
Speaker 2:But it's almost like using that the fear, feeling, social feelings tell yourself the truth. We come from a generation and before us that was like skip feel your feelings and only did tell yourself the truth and missed out on feeling. I feel like the generation now gets stuck in feel your feelings and doesn't move to tell yourself the truth.
Speaker 1:They don't ever do the truth, they're not moving through.
Speaker 2:Well, and I think for me as a dad, it's been really important for me to honor my kids, like make sure that they have space to feel their feelings Right, because I didn't have that.
Speaker 3:We didn't have that.
Speaker 2:Because there was a lot of emotional abandonment in my story of like you don't, you're not allowed to feel this right now because we got, we're responsible to other people.
Speaker 2:So you know like let's especially in the church in church leadership. Hey, half the church just left, especially in church leadership. Hey, half the church just left. Well, I'm super sad about that. All my friends just left. Well, guess what? You got six days to mourn because Sunday's coming around and you gotta be up on stage again. That creates this like well, I don't have time or space to feel my feelings, but in doing that now we have a generation that is maybe over course corrected in some.
Speaker 2:Well, in some ways, yeah, ways, yeah, I don't know. Well, like because I'll hear and they hate the truth.
Speaker 3:I feel like they only care about feelings and they actually hate the truth in a lot of ways yeah, that could be true well they're hostile towards the truth.
Speaker 1:I don't mean to, I don't, I don't mean this to sound new age at all, but for them, what is the truth? Because they are being, all of us are being fed stories.
Speaker 2:Well, they're telling that their feelings are the truth.
Speaker 3:Yeah their feelings are what they think are true.
Speaker 1:What I think is so interesting about this is you and I are kind of we're kind of a case study in this whole thing. Like, wouldn't you agree in our like you grew up going, you don't go to counseling, and we were first married. I think I medicated with work and momentum and you know, I didn't. Not only did I not really feel my fear, I don't even know if I knew how to feel up to a feeling I didn't either.
Speaker 1:So then you start getting healthy, we both start getting healthy, and I think then we also had some real hard stuff and I think we entered into that. Well, like if we tried to bright side each other or silver lining it, it would go no, you know, let me. But I think this thing that you're learning now might be like some kind of middle or healthy yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3:I mean I that this other girl, the same girl that I was listening to, talking about the I'm so lucky. I mean she just says the I'm so lucky, I mean she just says every day I'm so lucky, Good things happen to me. She also talked about her husband comes home and they would spin themselves down into this. They would come home and complain to each other. And we do this big time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we definitely have. Jamie and I do that. We spiral each other. We don't ying and yang it, we both just spiral each other.
Speaker 3:And so what they started doing was going okay throughout the day. I want you to come home with a picture of your favorite thing that happened today, and so throughout the day, you're going well, is this it? I? I need to, and so you're focusing on maybe this is my favorite thing that happened today all day you're trying to figure it out so they would take a picture of it and then they would share the picture, or maybe it was three pictures I can't remember.
Speaker 1:It's just me like selfie mine would be me with a diet coke every day, but you know what I mean like.
Speaker 3:So she said cooks here, yeah she said she's just looking all day, for maybe this coffee is the thing that's one of my highlight of my day. Maybe this conversation is the highlight.
Speaker 2:The cool thing is they might end up having like 20 pictures because, something better happens and you're like, oh no, this is it.
Speaker 3:And so then they get together and they're talking about all the fun things that happen, their favorite parts of the day, and she said it's really good to do with kids or with your spouse.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's good. I like that Rather than getting together and going.
Speaker 3:You won't believe how stupid so-and-so did this today at work or you know, yeah, I love that actually. I think it's good it out and go. I had a really hard day. It's okay, right. You need to get that out, right.
Speaker 2:I think so.
Speaker 3:You need to feel it, but you also need to talk about your bright part of your day.
Speaker 2:Well, you were saying it earlier like the perspective part, like just being able to say, oh wait a minute, yeah, I could have a hard day, but it doesn't mean the whole day. You almost get to kind of rise above it and just in life just be like, oh wait a minute, I've had a really great life. There's a lot of great things going on.
Speaker 3:And yeah, I can get consumed in the negative, for sure. Make a list of the fun, crazy things you've gotten to do. I was blown away. I was like oh my gosh, I did all this stuff. And it was like fun stuff. I can't like, I can't think of it now.
Speaker 1:I need my list. You told me some of them. I was like wow.
Speaker 2:There's probably stuff on there that you would have totally forgotten about too. Yes, Like oh yeah, that was awesome.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean, we played music for 200 plus thousand people at one time. That's crazy. That's crazy.
Speaker 1:I flew in an F-16.
Speaker 3:He flew in an F-16.
Speaker 1:I did. Wow, not many people would say that. No, that's super cool Also, I mean that stuff is really cool, but I would also be like I got great kids.
Speaker 3:Oh sure, you know what I mean she doesn't care about that.
Speaker 2:No, I know it's more for her. It's about what she got for herself.
Speaker 3:But I was listening to Jon Hamm talk, which I like, jon Hamm, he's from st louis, so um we're, we're basically friends because of that.
Speaker 3:But um, he was talking about when he finally got madman and was finally getting, you know, a lot of recognition. He said it was like. He said there was so much coming at me. He said you know, he was nominated for everything. He was going to all the parties, he was doing all things. It was like trying to drink from a fire hose. He goes, but eventually it's not even trying to drink from it anymore. It's it's so much you almost have to shield yourself from the fire hose. It feels like it's attacking you. You know what I mean. It's just so much, so much opportunity. You know what I mean. And he's like you can't, you can't absorb it. It's too much coming at. He's like I wish I would have been in a healthier place to be able to enjoy it. He goes, but there was no way.
Speaker 2:It was just too much to go from zero to a million, yeah, or just normalizes, and you're like oh, wait a minute, this wasn't. As you know, once you get it, is it as awesome as well. They talked. Well, they talked about that too.
Speaker 3:He was like yeah, I mean it was the Dax Shepard podcast and Dax was like you mean he was talking about how that was always the goal was to be famous, and he said that cab driver just recognized me, he goes and it did nothing.
Speaker 1:I don't feel happier he's like.
Speaker 3:I thought that was the thing. And he goes and I don't feel any happier. I mean, we had such a tiny fraction of any kind of fame and you just can't feel it. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1:It doesn't give you the thing. Well, I honestly never cared about that part of it.
Speaker 3:I just wanted to be able to play music, but I'm saying like it, it didn't, I don't know, like the thing that you think it would give. It doesn't get. Oh, there's the wind. It doesn't give any of that like it. Yeah, it's very odd. I don't know and I mean I can't imagine being on that kind of level.
Speaker 1:I just can't imagine. The pressure of that you know that I wanted to go back to this thing that you were talking about, where you, you take a picture and you said yeah, I wanted to go back to this thing that you were talking about, where you, you take a picture and you said yeah I do that now, but it's not with things like since we've moved back here from california. I didn't do this in california, but I feel like I'm looking for god's direction under every rock like I am.
Speaker 1:I'm going is this what you want? Is this should? Is this my next like? And that's not great either, because I'm not enjoying the presence of right, you know what I mean. I'm consumed with the next kind of that's because we need to make money.
Speaker 3:I mean that's part of it. Like you're going okay, god, what do you want me to do? I mean, you kind of are doing that out of necessity, in a way. I guess I mean and you have tried a bazillion doors and they have just been like whoop-shee.
Speaker 1:Well, stuff that I thought.
Speaker 3:Would be easy.
Speaker 1:I mean we're kind of getting personal right now Sorry, it's just crazy Like you're going.
Speaker 3:That's why what I'm saying is, that's why I think you're looking for direction, because you're.
Speaker 1:Well this client work that I do where you know I'm, I can only see a limited number of clients, and so there's not, like for those who are just tuning in, I do like personal soul care. Email me if, but I can only see so many. I'm right.
Speaker 1:And so you know, in music there was this exponential like, just keep playing shows and you know, build and build and build, and with this I'm still, I still kind of have that mindset of and then I'll have a client who you know, thankfully thankfully will, I mean I have clients that stay with me for years and a year and a half, two years, but some do the work and then it's time for them to go on and probably, like you Drew, it's like a panic, like how, how will I? What will take the place?
Speaker 3:of their retainer, Like I mean, we were just talking about this.
Speaker 1:you know, I need like two more clients a month because I had a couple and I'm going okay, what do I need to do? Yeah, Right. And that you know, when we lived in California, I was working as a pastor and man.
Speaker 3:Salary.
Speaker 1:There's something about direct deposit. I mean it is like it is a relief, like to not have to go. Okay, what, what? And since we've been here, I really enjoy this work. But I have this and I'm sure I mean this is the American story. Now, like most people are going, where's the next thing? I mean I know a lot of people are fussing about the stock market going up and down, but there are a lot of people who I mean stock market.
Speaker 2:That means nothing. You know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So I don't know. Just to clarify what Jennifer was saying.
Speaker 3:I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get too personal.
Speaker 1:No, I just don't want people to be like, well, do I need to send these guys money?
Speaker 3:Yes, you do need to send money.
Speaker 1:But, it's weird to be doing a business that has like a cap and on your emotional timing.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah and yeah and yeah, there's only only one of you and so many hours yeah and I, you know, I've sat with people, one in particular who he did a business plan for me to scale and grow this and there was. There was tons of upside. I was like, wow, there, there it is, but I don't want. I don't want to manage eight other spiritual journey you know what I mean. I don't want to make. Be careful what you wish for right. Well, the thing is, I don't have the capacity yeah I like doing the work.
Speaker 1:I don't want to manage the work I feel that uh and I know you do. You know I've talked about this like it's a. This trust is hard yeah, yeah. In my Bible study the other day that I'm in, one of the girls was saying man, if somebody just listened to this episode, they would be like I got to marry a woman like that. She's in the Bible all the time.
Speaker 2:I know, nice flex, we get it. You're spiritual. Okay, continue. I just want to go If this is the first episode you're listening to.
Speaker 1:You might want to go back.
Speaker 3:Don't go back, don't. No, this is it. This is how I always am.
Speaker 2:It's like first lady over here, do I?
Speaker 3:seem really Bible-y today.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're like a Beth Moore meets Joyce.
Speaker 1:Meyer meets Paula White. What would happen if you put Beth? That sounds like a joke. Beth Moore, paula White and Joyce Meyer walk into a bar.
Speaker 3:Well, first of all, anyway, never mind, okay.
Speaker 2:Joyce was happy, but you couldn't tell because her face is stuck.
Speaker 3:She's from St Louis too. She's very scared.
Speaker 1:Paula White's buying.
Speaker 3:For sure she is buying with all her blessing money.
Speaker 1:What was I saying? She's selling blessings. Do you know that? Yeah, you can call her up, pay her, she'll give you a blessing For a grand you get, like A mega blessing you get like a better future, nice so your blessing is dependent on how much you give you get.
Speaker 3:A better blessing you get more. I was going to say it's like the Catholic Church, don't you have to pay to get out of purgatory?
Speaker 1:I think that's after you're dead, though Right Other they pray your way. Okay, what were you going to say?
Speaker 3:Bible study I was going to say. One of the girls who was in there was saying that a good prayer. She heard this sermon years ago and they said a good prayer. To pray is to ask God. What season am I in right now?
Speaker 1:That is good.
Speaker 3:And I feel like that might be good for you and I. I mean, I feel like I did that and I feel like God has told me and confirmed it in a lot of ways.
Speaker 2:But I'm saying it might be good.
Speaker 3:No, it might be a good prayer to do.
Speaker 2:You'll find out when you need to Start snowing. Well, I know where we're in.
Speaker 1:You know, I just realized this right now I have been giving my clients a couple of them in particular this prayer to pray and it's really helping them and I'm realizing right now I'm probably not really praying it. I mean a couple of them in particular. I'm going look at one. I just said look, you need to close your Bible for a while because you're looking for like this kind of, like you said.
Speaker 1:And I said just pray. God, show me the truth about this. Is there anything you need me to do? And I was like it's not tell me the truth because you don't want to be sitting around. Is that my voice? I trust you to show me the truth about this. Is there anything I need to do?
Speaker 3:but I'm not doing it maybe I need to do it.
Speaker 1:I think you need to do that because the gospel, according to me, is that God is better than we thought, and I want my life that to be like. Apparently I'm not that, because people are just sending me just whatever they want to say, if they just tell me.
Speaker 3:Mean text.
Speaker 1:But I don't know if I'm like. If my kids said, hey, what's the gospel according to your dad? I don't know that they would say they might say, well, the gospel according tomett.
Speaker 3:He's tired yeah right they'd say about me tired on.
Speaker 1:At father's day out in california the kids in the children's program sadie was probably six or seven at the time they had the kids write down and draw a picture of what their dad is good at and sadie claire, hers was your dad. She said my dad is good at napping. That's amazing. It feels kind of like an indictment no, you know what?
Speaker 3:I heard a statistic and I wanted to tell you that the people who nap 20 minutes a day live longer.
Speaker 1:So just 20 though just 20.
Speaker 3:You got to cap it.
Speaker 1:You're going to live to a couple hundred.
Speaker 2:I mean, I'd get into my pajamas.
Speaker 3:What were we saying that you, I can't remember.
Speaker 2:Well, I've been doing something similar and just asking myself what are the things that I'm doing that give me life? What are the things where you just know, when you're in the flow, you're like, oh my gosh, like this podcast, I'm, yes, exactly in the flow. In the flow, yeah, I just like you just know when you're like, hey, I'm kind of I think I'm doing what I was created to do right now, because I feel like I'm good at this and I'm helping somebody and it's awesome. And then I look at like, okay, well, what are the things that just make my soul cringe and die?
Speaker 2:And I just then I'm like okay, especially in business. I'm like okay, well then those are the things I'm going to give away to somebody.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Because I think Enter Lucy on the front yard. Hello.
Speaker 2:On the front yard Lucy out front. Lucy in the sky with diamonds, exactly Because it's like okay, is she?
Speaker 1:still with you since the last episode.
Speaker 2:Yes, Thankfully, everything's on track. Yeah, she's awesome, but that's the thing, and she loves it because she loves being.
Speaker 3:She's the other way.
Speaker 2:She loves being that person.
Speaker 1:Okay, that leads me to this question. Is being well-rounded, overrated.
Speaker 3:Maybe it's kind of like multitasking. It's like, no, then you do nothing good, you're like a jack of all trades, you don't do anything, even with your spiritual life.
Speaker 1:Maybe you lean into the stuff that you love, like what's that mean? Well, I mean he's talking about, like when I'm in the flow and maybe I'll just do the stuff that I'm good at like that.
Speaker 3:This is actually spiritually I don't know. Okay, I don't that's what I'm.
Speaker 1:I've never thought about this.
Speaker 2:Well it could mean sacred pathways as far as, like a lot of times there's like this prescription of what you're supposed to do to be close to God, and then it's really freeing to be like oh wait, a minute, I don't have to find God that way, I can find God this way. Because it might be like I was with a couple buddies this morning. Because it might be like I was with a couple buddies this morning and I was like man, I just love being in the woods. I like like I sense the God's nearness, especially when I'm out in Colorado. I'm out there a lot, I'm in the mountains. I just feel like that's like a thin place, like I feel like closer to God.
Speaker 1:How stupid would it be for me to say to you but you really need to be in your Bible.
Speaker 2:Right, guys were like I don't relate, I don't like being in the woods. What they were, just like I. They weren't like bashing, but they're just like.
Speaker 3:That's not my. I can't imagine that. They're like. I don't want to be an rv.
Speaker 2:I don't want to camp, I'm like I just want to be outside. I love that stuff, right, and it would be like me shaming them to be like what you mean? You don't. You know, and I had a worship leader I just talked to him this week former worship leader they're not leading worship anymore is in a really tough spot, like really low, as low as they've ever been, and they're feeling all the shame. They're like man, I don't read my Bible, I don't whatever, and I'm like dude, me neither. I took a break because I was like I grew up my whole life feeling like if I don't spend 30 minutes every morning in the word, doing, doing, doing, doing, praying, praying, praying, and I'm like dude. I'm just focusing on connection with God right now. That's all I care and that's prayer for me. So I feel like I'm praying more now, based on my new definition than the old definition of I'm spending.
Speaker 2:That's where the well-rounded question?
Speaker 1:came in. Maybe we don't try to get people.
Speaker 3:But there is something to read. Not all the time, I'm all for taking a break, but there is something that you get from reading your Bible, even if it's just. I'm not saying.
Speaker 1:I agree, but if the Lord is inviting you somewhere, else.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm not saying forever, I listened to a thing about.
Speaker 1:This was a longitudinal study in basketball. So the theory in basketball used to be if you're good at, if you're really good at this, then you need to. If you're good at a 20 foot jumper, you need to shoot threes. You need to get good at that. You need to be able to shoot from anywhere on the court, and they in the eighties, they completely changed that.
Speaker 3:I could see that being.
Speaker 1:Now, if they trade for someone who can shoot a 20-foot jumper, they go. This is your job.
Speaker 3:Yep.
Speaker 1:We're going to put you on the bench if you start to shoot threes.
Speaker 3:That makes the most sense to me. Like I can't believe it took them that long to figure that out.
Speaker 1:Well, but I'm just saying does this apply to life?
Speaker 3:So they thought they needed a well-rounded player that could do all the things well.
Speaker 1:They wanted.
Speaker 3:Which God? How do you find that guy?
Speaker 1:But that was like you would look for. I mean, they did that in baseball, also In baseball when they would draft people.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you need a hitter.
Speaker 1:Yeah, all the things Right, you had to have the big five Like now they're like I mean, you're the designated hitter, you hit home runs period.
Speaker 3:Like.
Speaker 1:Okay, but it may. For some reason it didn't.
Speaker 3:No, I know, Isn't that interesting.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but like what if we just gave ourselves permission to lean into the?
Speaker 3:I'm not saying my problem is figuring out what I'm good at and what I love. I have no idea.
Speaker 1:Well, those can be two different things.
Speaker 3:Well, sure, but like when he says I know, like I'm good at this, it's clicking, I love it.
Speaker 2:It's funny because there is something in my life that I know I'm really really good at, but I don't love it.
Speaker 3:Oh, really yeah, and I'm wrestling that one down.
Speaker 2:Huh, Because it's like wait a minute. When I'm doing this, I feel like the Holy Spirit, God, whatever I'm like, I'm in the flow and I would be okay to never do it again.
Speaker 3:Wow.
Speaker 1:Well, didn't you kind of feel that way about singing at first, like you felt like you should, but you pushed against it.
Speaker 3:I pushed against it cause I was scared.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean I wanted to do it but I was really scared and I knew I was supposed to. I mean, but you and I are not great singers. No and I are not great singers.
Speaker 1:No, I'm the honda, I am the honda civic we are. Yes, I had on the civic I love it.
Speaker 3:What we both are. That's my point. They sell a lot of them and they're reliable.
Speaker 1:And yeah, the black stallion my sadie claire takes voice lessons and like I'll hear her warming up and well, she's got a little steamy thing.
Speaker 3:yeah, she does for her voice and I'm like bug.
Speaker 2:Listen.
Speaker 1:I did this for a living, 200 days a year, just let her rip, never warmed up.
Speaker 2:We never warmed up once, not one time, did I go in and sing triads.
Speaker 3:So bad. Just got out there and let her rip we just tore it up, our poor voices, and I'm paying for it now, and I'm paying for it now. We didn't.
Speaker 1:We got to the point where we didn't even sound check. We sent our sound guy out there.
Speaker 3:He knew what I never sound checked he knew Never.
Speaker 1:He knew what we, we needed.
Speaker 3:You guys had to sound check the band though.
Speaker 1:A little bit, but I'd sing for a minute, because it's always different when people get in there. Anyways, yeah, you, you know, you got to make sure the lines are working.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Other than that Line check, and then you're out.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I didn't like, I didn't do anything.
Speaker 3:Can I ask you guys a prayer question, because this has been bothering me lately Like I don't know how to pray really and I have a hard time. I don't like that we start a prayer like we're writing a letter, dear Lord Jesus, and I'm like we're not writing a letter. It's weird. Why do we do that weird greeting every time?
Speaker 2:That's a good point.
Speaker 3:Isn't that weird?
Speaker 1:I mean you know. I don't like to pray out loud.
Speaker 3:Sincerely, jennifer, like at the end.
Speaker 1:Amen.
Speaker 3:Doesn't it feel like you're writing starting a letter? I just don't like it and I don't understand how to do it. Well, I hear people pray who are like powerful prayers and I'm like that's amazing, I'm not good at it If somebody asked me to pray in front of a crowd and it was more than just like a.
Speaker 1:Churches use prayers as transitions so they can get people to close their eyes, and then the band walks off. But if somebody said hey, you know. I think that's so crazy, you're going to be at this funeral and we want you to lead the prayer.
Speaker 2:I would write it out I was just about to say that's the one thing I love about the Anglican Church. I love liturgy.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I love praying common prayers, I love things that have been like with theology and like I'm not trusting my own emotions.
Speaker 3:Oh, is that the point of it?
Speaker 2:Well, I don't know For me. I just like the fact that I'm not having to like. It just gives me language I wouldn't otherwise have. That that I feel like people have thought about and written. It's very meaningful for me to like pray these prayers.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Well, when we prayed, when we prayed before our shows and stuff you're wrong, but that's right. We prayed the same things. It was always the kind of.
Speaker 3:But.
Speaker 1:I mean, it really was the I don't know, that I don't look, I think any connection we try to make with god, he's, he's happy to take it.
Speaker 3:But how do we do it?
Speaker 1:like, I'm serious, like how do you pray for me?
Speaker 3:yes, but it's hard to start a prayer with you right now.
Speaker 2:How would you pray for jeremy? Let's hear it I never pray.
Speaker 3:I don't pray for. Let's hear it. Let's hear it. Practice, dear lord. No see, dear, practice it, dear Lord. No see, dear Lord.
Speaker 2:Yeah, why I want to lift up, jeremy, to you right now. Be a hedge of protection.
Speaker 3:When he did the Lord's Prayer, he said our Father, who art in heaven?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, daddy God.
Speaker 3:He did the little greeting kind of he did.
Speaker 1:But I think the Lord's Prayer is more than just the words to say like we don't know what his words sounded like. I think what he was saying like is when you come to god, you, you're approaching a parent like like you're. He's my father, but he's also yours, so you're allowed to come to him and go he was giving us a frame to see god by totally, because it could be king, judge, yeah, whatever. But he's like his dad, yeah, and you're going, you're my dad, but also hallowed is your name.
Speaker 3:Like.
Speaker 1:I mean, I think he was kind of teaching us more about God than yeah.
Speaker 3:Sadie heard somebody she was telling us. The other day she heard somebody do the daddy God thing.
Speaker 2:Oh God For the first time. And she said her friend. They were at a school thing, looked at each other and just lost it. I had one friend I knew and she was so sincere, but she would start her prayers with hey God, and I just couldn't do it.
Speaker 1:I almost like that better I don't actually mind that I don't like it hey.
Speaker 3:God, I can't stand.
Speaker 1:It just feels too. Oh, I don't know, Growing up.
Speaker 3:Baptist, it was Heavenly. Father what's hard for me is this feels like prayer.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:It was Heavenly Father.
Speaker 2:What's hard for me is this feels like prayer, oh.
Speaker 1:And then, like I've been in these conversations, like talking about God, and then somebody like it's just kind of a way to put a button on the thing. They go let's pray and I'm like, well, what do we just do?
Speaker 2:This was Well, and that goes back to what I was saying earlier. For me, prayer has become more about connection and awareness. Like Earlier, for me prayer has become more about connection and awareness, like if I have an awareness that God is invited and is here and I'm connected to that idea and I'm like could that be prayer too?
Speaker 3:But the other. When you pray for someone, you're kind of okay. This goes back to the weird manifesting. I don't know You're laying hands on them. Let's say, Is that sending energy, some sort of way of healing?
Speaker 2:I don't say that to people anymore either. For that same reason, I want people to know that there is an attunement and a connection. So often times I won't even tell people I'm praying for them or I will pray for them. I'll just be like, hey, I've been mindful of you.
Speaker 3:Yes, I always do that. I never say I'm praying for you, I've been thinking of you. I always say that.
Speaker 1:Yes, if someone's gone through a hard thing, I'll just say, hey, my heart's with you, because, it's true, like my heart is breaking and I think that actually could be prayer, like I think that I think it totally is.
Speaker 3:But so what I'm saying is kind of your intention towards that person, is it kind of your energy, is it kind of a frequency thing, like with the frequencies I do. It's kind of. They call it electronic prayer because yeah, it's sending good vibes sending actual frequencies I'm saying it works for him look what did.
Speaker 1:When paul said I'm with you in spirit, I didn't never understood what that meant. And then we started dating and got engaged and she would fly back to st louis and I would feel like man.
Speaker 1:It feels like part of me leaves when she flies out like and then having kids oh yeah like hutch is on tour right now and I wish he could believe how much I am actually with him. It's like you carry me with you. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, I love that. You know, here's one. We got to wrap it up. But here's one thing I noticed. Oh yeah, we're almost at an hour this podcast was totally different because of the subject matter. Like we were all just real grateful I think the three of us as much as I love our energy.
Speaker 3:As much as I love our energy.
Speaker 1:Are you getting teary yeah?
Speaker 3:a little bit.
Speaker 1:I was a minute ago when I was talking about Hutch, Like we can spiral down. Oh yeah, I mean, Jennifer and me are great at it. We love it.
Speaker 3:Well, I love to spiral down. I mean, I love it in a joking way.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 3:It's fun.
Speaker 2:I love to pile down In a way.
Speaker 3:In a way. I mean not for real, spiral down, you and I will come home. What's funny, you have a thing on the bottom of that cup.
Speaker 1:a QR code Weird. I wonder where that leads you. I don't know. I wonder where that leads you.
Speaker 3:You can do it on YouTube.
Speaker 2:It's funny that it picked it up. Yeah, it didn't.
Speaker 3:I don't know you and I can do that where we're not joking. I don't know you and I can do that where we're not joking. It's like I'm actually having a dark day. Oh, you are. Oh, maybe I am too.
Speaker 1:I mean, it's like we just go down the toilet together. That might be a correction, though, because early in our marriage it was like well, buck up, you're lucky to do this.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean, I think we come by that.
Speaker 3:Maybe, but it's still not healthy really.
Speaker 1:To stay in it.
Speaker 3:Well, just yeah. I mean, you do have to show up to it, but it is good to go into the positives.
Speaker 1:Well, ruminating is when the negative gets its own energy. It's like a feedback loop.
Speaker 2:And you just.
Speaker 1:I mean, people do this with their bosses all the time. You know, do you believe they did that?
Speaker 3:Do you believe they did that?
Speaker 1:And then it's like we just ruminate it and you know probably with your spouse too, I guess if you have somebody you can talk to about it yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's. I'm sitting here thinking how different this episode is from the last episode, where we literally talked about nothing for an hour.
Speaker 1:You just never know what you're going to get with us Either deep emotional topics or just nothing for an hour. We should release these on the same day and have part one be nothing.
Speaker 3:part two, something I think I might be a little yeah.
Speaker 2:For sure you think I am yeah 100%.
Speaker 3:You do for real.
Speaker 2:Well, just what I've experienced of you on the podcast.
Speaker 3:That's all you know of me.
Speaker 2:High, high and low lows. I would say more borderline than by. I was kidding. I don't know that you are. I don't know you well enough. Maybe you are borderline.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna, I'm gonna put down here that we need to talk about response styles next time that's good. That doesn't mean you have borderline personality disorder, but we all have a different. Like some people have, I have a codependent response style where I will.
Speaker 3:Yes, you do.
Speaker 1:I will like I can't think of the word right now, but like if any response, I go okay, let me take this on me. What did I do? Trying to manage it, manage it and also kind of and hers is more. It's either like there's not a lot of nuance, it's either all the way yes or all the way no, but these are all just response styles. It's not how we are.
Speaker 3:I let my yes be yes and my no be no.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I'm living by the Bible, oh shoot.
Speaker 2:I didn't mean to say response style.
Speaker 1:I meant reaction style.
Speaker 3:Oh.
Speaker 1:So reaction comes first, response comes second, and what we need to try to do is create distance between the two so we react, we might react, but then after a while you know, yeah, you try not to let that flavor your response interesting I mean it's good and where you try to create space between the reaction.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but a lot of time we're all just reacting and there's no like space between my in-laws are marriage counselors used to take people through that feel, act, think okay which mine was in that order. Feel that I think, because what's that? Acronym oh fat exactly but it was like some people their firing order was I'm gonna think about it, then I'll act on it, then I'll feel it, or some people I'm gonna feel it, and there was like spaces between each one so they would walk people through, how like, if you feel it, how long before you act on?
Speaker 1:it and then you think about it, but yours is probably think first because it takes you a while to feel your feelings.
Speaker 3:It does take me a long time to feel my feelings, is it different orders.
Speaker 2:Like people have different, everyone has a different order, okay so some people are like will think about it for a long time and then they'll feel it, then they'll act on it. And the goal wasn't necessarily I don't think it was to change it, but just to recognize so that you can kind of slow it all down. So for me, if I feel something, I don't have to act on it immediately.
Speaker 3:That's really good, or think about it, it was good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they were good at that stuff. Marrying into a marriage counselor family was wild. I got the five love languages on the first time I met them.
Speaker 3:Man, that sounds tough.
Speaker 2:I just was trying to. I was answering every question that had nothing to do with physical touch.
Speaker 1:I was like I'm a big quality timer over here.
Speaker 2:I hate physical touch.
Speaker 3:Physical touch is my least favorite. I hate to be touched.
Speaker 2:That's hilarious we need new call outs and shout outs.
Speaker 1:I don't have any we're at an hour are we yeah, right at it we're going to try to shave it down a little bit, like your chest being our producer, maybe like my chest, what being?
Speaker 3:our producer? Maybe, yeah, Like my chest. What about the producer? No being our producer?
Speaker 1:Well, no, you know, I'll talk to you about it later.
Speaker 2:Okay, people are going to love that. Let's leave it at that.
Speaker 1:I'll talk to you about it when you text me that you're quitting, Like in a couple of days. Then I'll run this by you.
Speaker 3:It'll be tonight, it'll be harsh, it'll be later tonight, it'll be mean, it'll be real mean, it'll be mean and it'll be.
Speaker 2:Not only am I quitting, but you're stupid.
Speaker 3:I'm quitting because you're stupid, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm quitting and I just want you to know I don't like you.
Speaker 3:Here's all the things I don't like about you.
Speaker 1:Alright, everybody, if you want to get a hold of Jennifer, she's back on the Instagram.
Speaker 3:This is my Jenstagram.
Speaker 1:Drew, what do you do again?
Speaker 2:The one that I don't allow people to follow me on. Drew Powell 82.
Speaker 3:You have a business.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can follow that, amplify your brand there you go follow my marketing company if you want that's public. Amplify your brand. Is that the name of it?
Speaker 1:amplify is the name of my company it's such a self explanatory name like, except for we don't know what he does, we didn't know the name of it I kind of did, but I don't remember I run a company your brand. I run a company called Amplify your Brand.
Speaker 3:What do you do? That is really good Way to go.
Speaker 1:Thanks, high five. I run a company called. I will talk to you for quite a long time and we'll try to figure out what the Lord is doing in your life together.
Speaker 2:Dot com and maybe get some healing Dot com the longest domain name Dot com.
Speaker 1:Dot edu, dot org. That's great. Jennifer is a dot gov For sure.
Speaker 3:Although this episode I wish.
Speaker 1:This episode was like you need to like she's dot church on this episode.
Speaker 2:She really is that a. Thing.
Speaker 3:Was.
Speaker 2:I yeah it is Cute guys Dot church.
Speaker 3:And I didn't mean to try and quiz you and make you feel shame.
Speaker 2:No, I felt good because I knew the answers.
Speaker 3:Again.
Speaker 2:I was surprised how quick you did Backhanded.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yours is dot. Bitch slapped my hand, thank you.