The Gospel According to Jennifer
Welcome to "The Gospel According to Jennifer" podcast, where faith, humor, and heartfelt stories collide in a lively conversation about life, love, and everything in between. Join your host Jennifer Deibler, along with her co-host Jeromy Deibler as they share their family’s journey from being the acclaimed Christian band FFH to their current path in spiritual direction.
In this engaging and candid podcast, Jennifer and Jeromy offer a unique blend of perspectives on spirituality, mental health, emotional well-being, and personal growth. Drawing from their extensive experiences on the road and life's ups and downs, they explore the joys and challenges of faith, all while sprinkling in some humor along the way.
Get ready for spirited debates, deep dives into controversial thoughts, and heartwarming memories as they invite you into their world of faith, questions, and spiritual exploration. Whether you're a longtime believer, a spiritual seeker, or simply someone looking for meaningful conversations, "The Gospel According to Jennifer" podcast has something for everyone.
Tune in to join the conversation, laugh, learn, and be inspired as Jennifer and Jeromy navigate the twists and turns of life's spiritual journey. It's a podcast that's as diverse as their experiences and as authentic as their hearts. Subscribe today and embark on a captivating exploration of faith, laughter, and the adventure of the human spirit.
The Gospel According to Jennifer
What Women Want with Shaylee Simeone
I will try not to make too many mouth noises. We're doing it.
Speaker 2:It's happening, doing it, hey, hey, are you here? Are you ready? I'm ready? Okay, welcome to the gospel according to me. Are you ready? I'm ready? Okay, welcome to the gospel according to me. Oh, my gosh, I'm Jennifer.
Speaker 1:I was about to say the best gospel there is, but that's, that's a little sacrilegious, that's not right, that's not okay. Sorry Jesus, that's not right.
Speaker 3:Sorry, Jesus.
Speaker 2:Sorry. And today joining us is my friend Shaylee. No, you're getting that. No, I can't play with that. No, no.
Speaker 1:You need to not fidget Reprimanding already.
Speaker 2:Oh see, he yells at you.
Speaker 3:Now he wants to be the puppeteer. I'm the producer.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:Can I do this? I don't care if you do that. Is that too loud for?
Speaker 2:me.
Speaker 3:It's about you.
Speaker 2:It's all about me, so talk about me. You know what I used to do Did you introduce her. I did.
Speaker 3:I said Shaley's here, she said my name. Her last name is O'Neal.
Speaker 2:Sometimes it's Simeone. Yeah, because that's how I know you from your Instagram. That's my musical name. Did you take your husband's last name?
Speaker 1:though I did, but I still do like my musical stuff under simeon and so, which that hurt ryan's feelings, did it a little bit, yeah, but simeon is so sexy I mean, thank you, it's italian, is it? Italian is a little sexier than irish.
Speaker 2:No, offense is that offense irish people I mean well, simeon, like that's how you say. Oh, it's simione, you know?
Speaker 1:yeah, I feel you tell us about it was mostly like the alliteration too, and just laziness.
Speaker 2:I had already like yeah, once you've already got your Instagram going.
Speaker 1:I know I have like, I had like a whole, like 200 people.
Speaker 2:It was just too many well, it would be confusing for those people.
Speaker 1:They would be lost the fans, tens of fans would have been confused, confused.
Speaker 2:I think that all ten of our fans were probably so confused when Jeremy dumped this podcast onto me.
Speaker 1:I know.
Speaker 3:They weren't actually. In fact, the response was great.
Speaker 2:We do have some comments.
Speaker 3:And they seemed to understand it way more than you did.
Speaker 1:Apparently Well. I mean, it's hot stuff, I'm a fan, aw well thanks.
Speaker 3:I get to spend more time with Shaylee than you do. You do.
Speaker 2:You know Shaylee better than me.
Speaker 3:I'm a client.
Speaker 1:You are?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you'll have to tell us about that, like how you feel about that, how those sessions go, tell us about that Like how you feel about that, how those? Sessions go Jeremy's going to put some lip gloss on.
Speaker 1:That's a lot, not lip gloss. Oh my gosh, that is lip gloss. It actually is lip gloss.
Speaker 3:It's popping Okay.
Speaker 2:Let's hear about it. It's not lip, it is lip oil.
Speaker 3:It's elf, it's clear, but she put some on me a couple of months ago.
Speaker 2:He needed chapstick.
Speaker 3:All we had was my bag and I was like what is that?
Speaker 1:Because it felt so good and it stayed so long, and the answer to that question is lip gloss.
Speaker 3:It lasted. It lasted so long.
Speaker 2:So next time you're in a session and it looks like he's got, I knew you.
Speaker 3:Did you want to say it? I did a little. Did I miss it?
Speaker 2:I'm so Okay, we're going gonna talk about it later, but your your humor is very um, not millennial, oh, what is it? No, it's a you're. You can hang with the gen xer, which is uncommon. Is that good or bad?
Speaker 1:it's fabulous it's good for us, okay is it bad for me no, it's great no, it just means you're cool.
Speaker 2:But a lot of millennials do not understand sarcasm or gen x humor at all in fact I looked it up. Shame on them, because we're going to talk about millennials today a little bit well, we are very special. Yes, you think you are did you prep? A little bit, a little bit, but yeah we love a good prep definitely think you are.
Speaker 1:I don't really want to rush past the lip gloss, but we can. We can move on if we need to, but it's not chapstick, just to be clear.
Speaker 3:The Gen Xers grew up thinking we're doing this all for you. You should feel really blessed because we're making a life for you that was better than the life we had. So Gen Xers grew up with this guilt. So our sarcasm and humor is just all.
Speaker 1:The best.
Speaker 3:But our experience with millennials is a very snowflake kind of experience.
Speaker 1:That we're snowflakes, yeah, I mean that's fair, we're sensitive.
Speaker 2:I mean, I don't know if you're as snowflakey as Gen Z.
Speaker 1:I was going to say that's the thing is that I feel like Gen Z.
Speaker 2:I'm like I can't say anything.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the sensitivity is Wow.
Speaker 2:It's very, very but.
Speaker 1:I get it, we are, yeah, we're a lot, but it's hard, okay wow.
Speaker 2:I was about to do it.
Speaker 1:It's so hard. I was literally about to just prove your point. We still want to be a millennial. It is because we have the pressure from you guys. Oh yes, we're so hard on you, you are hard on us, and then, we have the pressure of the youngins being like you guys aren't cool, and so we're just getting told by everyone that we're not enough.
Speaker 2:You guys are getting ripped up by the Gen Z. We're getting ripped up, they are hating on you guys. Hating on us and we gave them so much. Look at, look at all the 90s trends that we're just handing over to you.
Speaker 1:That's walk through target. I feel like we're handing them over. But whatever, you were too young to be in trend in the 90s. How old were?
Speaker 2:you um well, I was born in 87, so so you were a baby. Your mom was dressing you. Thank you, jen x.
Speaker 1:Thank you, mom yeah, I mean, I was like the early 2000s were more when I like had a fashion sense, yeah, and it was rough, I do feel like I do feel like those fashions are coming back as well.
Speaker 2:They are if you walk through target. It's scary. It feels like you're walked into an episode of gilmore girls feels like someone raided my closet from.
Speaker 3:Yeah it's, it's troubling, but I love it, though this is already boring.
Speaker 2:For you. Oh my gosh, oh, you're so boring. I'm regretting this already. Okay, so should we do comments really quick. You can, if you want to go through them.
Speaker 3:I mean, there's a couple on there that are harsh, but there's only one.
Speaker 2:Oh no, I'm scared.
Speaker 3:No, don't be scared, just read them through.
Speaker 2:Okay. Wvangel19 1974. Hello, gen X. This episode was amazing. Love you guys. Thanks, meredith Kalambah. I don't know Kalambah is eight. No, anyway, this was great, jennifer, you survived your first episode. I do think having Jeremy on with you is good. I agree, he has a lot of good thoughts to contribute to the conversation Contribute.
Speaker 2:If you do a 30-year reunion house concert. Please record it so we can watch it too. Jennifer's Stay Fresh Cheese Bags has to be your peace outline. Agreed, it's too good you like it? I really do. Did you see the meme? Yes, yeah, it's one of the best.
Speaker 3:So Haley, I don't know if you've ever used a microphone before, but you need to be up kind of on it. There you go.
Speaker 2:All up on it. I don't know that she has ever I have never used one, but. I'm sorry to disappoint you already so much. I want to get to the harsh, one kind of I don't know.
Speaker 3:Should I just read through these? Well, I mean, they like a lot okay, joe blue, um, three, five, four.
Speaker 2:I appreciate you making this and love watching. Oh, I always feel like I'm sitting on the other side of the table watching the tennis match back and forth isn't that nice, that's so sweet.
Speaker 3:The reason I wanted you to read these is because all week she's been like I don't think people like it as much, and I've been telling her look, more people have listened and watched than normal and and so they do. It's because of your lip gloss, our lack?
Speaker 2:Well, I don't think that's what it means, but anyway, 9574. I listen to Charlie Kirk podcast every morning on my way to work. I'm still struggling that he will never be in this world again. It's such a great loss. Amen.
Speaker 2:We talked a lot about charlie, yeah yeah, so heartbreaking good thing we did yeah, okay, go ahead, I interesting, okay. Brian from texas. Hey, brian, y'all captured how I feel like I know y'all, since I've been following you for almost 30 years but, I've never had an in-person conversation with you, but I feel like I've had many.
Speaker 2:That must be strange for you, because I'm sure there are many like me, and it was so therapeutic Listen to you talk about your feelings, about what happened to Charlie. It was such a terrible thing and it's been amazing so far watching God use something that was intended for evil to do so many great things in so many lives.
Speaker 1:Gosh it is wild. Y'all did a really good job processing that right, by the way.
Speaker 3:Thank you it really was. Did you watch some of the memorial?
Speaker 1:a little bit of it, man yeah, you couldn't watch much I. It was a lot in a good way, like in a good and bad way, I have to say yeah, the pyrotechnics I think could have gone, we didn't need those.
Speaker 2:Yeah, those were a little much oh my gosh it was a little much for his widow to be walking out to pyrotechnics. Yeah, even though, whenever, remember, whenever rfk was first joined to to trump remember when they first came together in Arizona Mm-hmm, and they had that it was at a Trump rally and he came out to Foo Fighters. There Goes my Hero. Remember that, surely you do. Yes.
Speaker 3:Because we're.
Speaker 2:RFK people, anyway, pyrotechnics, that was Charlie's production and it makes me think maybe he was really into that.
Speaker 1:Oh.
Speaker 3:Okay, so he produced that whole.
Speaker 2:He actually was very instrumental in bringing them together. Oh, I didn't know that he's a big RFK fan, or he was, yeah.
Speaker 3:Let me ask you, girls, something about RFK, real quick.
Speaker 2:Sure, yes, he's hot.
Speaker 3:I love naming stuff and I know you both love RFK, but I've been trying to figure out a name like a catchy name for his bandwagon, like I'm a member of the whatever.
Speaker 2:I know Maha is just terrible. It is kind of terrible.
Speaker 3:Tell me how this lands on you All right, let's hear it. The RFKKK no.
Speaker 1:Absolutely not.
Speaker 2:Absolutely not. How about the RFK Klan?
Speaker 3:Okay, we can use Klan.
Speaker 2:RF Klan, no, the rfk clan. Okay, we can use clan rf clan.
Speaker 1:There's no more k's could be involved in this, all right no, only one k is allowed.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, that reminds me of my mom's story. My mom and dad were visiting a church back in missouri and you know the turn and greet your neighbor thing. So my mom were ken and kathy, that my dad's name was Ken and my mom's name was Kathy.
Speaker 1:That's really cute.
Speaker 2:And she turned around to meet this guy. You know this guy behind them who happened to be black. His name was Kevin and he introduced himself. She's like oh, we're Ken and Kathy KKK. No, no, no, no, she said it right to Yep, she did.
Speaker 1:What did he say he?
Speaker 2:just looked at her. I'm sure he never came back. He probably thought, oh, you just gave me a signal of. I'm not welcome. Yeah Right, isn't that?
Speaker 1:terrible. Run, sir, run, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:She just wanted to die, all right.
Speaker 3:Oh, no, gerber.
Speaker 2:Daisy, I completely see how differently the left and the right react under anger and grief, but I will and I don't think that's spelled right antidote that is becoming harder and harder to remain moderate. Not sure if you would like to bring that on the table for the TGA at Jennifer the gospel according to Jennifer, or if I may be being too cautiously vague, but I would love to hear your initial thoughts. Also, would be very interested in hosting a Kickstarter. Oh my gosh, two people.
Speaker 3:You know, Andy, the guy that called you out for calling Drew Fett.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:He is all in. He's like I got your Kickstarter, let's do it, let's do it.
Speaker 2:Let's do it. Gerber, daisy and Andy. Yeah, so I was thinking maybe I could get a Zoom call with you and those two, let's do it. And you Well, I mean you wrote the song.
Speaker 1:So I feel like it was my guitar. Do you even know what song?
Speaker 3:we're talking about.
Speaker 2:I'm super into that.
Speaker 1:Please do that, she doesn't know.
Speaker 2:Of.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:Do not judge Shaylee's music on that. Okay, first of all that was excellent.
Speaker 3:I actually feel like that's exactly how I sing. I think the whole sad Jesus music concept is pretty great. So we do need to talk about that.
Speaker 2:Oh, we're going to talk about it, thank you.
Speaker 1:That was a perfect example of my music, and please find me. First of all, I love that song and I grew up listening to that song you did?
Speaker 2:why did I think you didn't know who we were? I don't know, but I'm, but you didn't. But you didn't listen.
Speaker 1:I thought you didn't weren't a christian music person, or something no, I mean, I was like a private school kid, so you know I was driving, that was all you were listening to klt. Why you?
Speaker 2:were able to listen to your parents were that big fish please. Oh, we're sorry about that You're welcome, thank you, I'm sorry. Thank you, he says you're welcome. Okay, ricky Mills, not sure if this is the mode to chime in, but yes, the president of the United States, in multiple times, has called people fascists. I enjoy your podcast at times, but when I hear one-sided blaming for the other naming fascist, when the chief executive does it and it's not, even mentioned.
Speaker 2:Sorry you lose me. Bless you bye-bye. Sorry, ricky, oh, I hate to hear that. Oh my gosh, guess who's next wait, wait.
Speaker 3:Can we talk about that? We're skipping right over. I feel like we need to address that a little bit. No, i's not.
Speaker 2:Waterspout? No, I'm just kidding, listen, we need you. We need Ricky we only have tens of listeners. So please, Ricky, don't go away.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I am. You know it's hard and I was going to actually talk about this today because we're going to talk about the RFK thing that came out yesterday. Yeah, because.
Speaker 1:Shaley and I Did you listen to the whole thing.
Speaker 2:Well, no, I've listened to only like I only heard some of it Listen.
Speaker 3:Girls, you've got to stop banging the table. I'm sorry, guess who's coming in.
Speaker 2:Oh, hutchie, speaking of banging the table.
Speaker 3:Hey, we're recording a podcast.
Speaker 2:Come say hi, just come wave.
Speaker 3:We have Millennial and now we have Gen Z and now we have Gen Z?
Speaker 2:No, you're not in it.
Speaker 3:We're going to zoom in.
Speaker 2:Hi, you love a hutch. Hi oh, I thought it was going to be maybe a hug you heading up to shave. What you heading up to shave All right, nope, he's going werewolf, he's going werewolf.
Speaker 3:The reason I thought we should talk about this is, you know, you talked last week about gaslighting and how you feel like you're being gaslit and I totally get your point. However, there are some of us who, when the Donald started to run for president in 2016 and through that whole first term, when all of the Christian right evangelicals, Christian right evangelicals were just excusing all of this and I understand, for some people it's not important it felt like gaslighting. I was like okay, does anybody.
Speaker 3:I mean, these are the people that we tried to impeach. We tried to impeach Clinton for this, and now we're just going. Oh yeah, whatever, you know, he's just a human Time out. He's just a human what?
Speaker 2:did. We're just going. Oh yeah, whatever, you know, he's just a human Wait wait time out.
Speaker 3:He's just a human.
Speaker 2:What did we impeach Clinton for?
Speaker 3:Well, okay, I don't want to get into a fight. I'm asking you we wanted to impeach Clinton for his misdeeds in the White House in the Oval Office. I realize.
Speaker 2:With an intern.
Speaker 3:Right, but we're saying this is unbecoming for a president.
Speaker 2:Okay, but with an intern in the Oval Office is different than words.
Speaker 3:Okay. In my opinion, the evangelicals at that point were just like.
Speaker 2:Giving him a pass. Yeah, I get it.
Speaker 3:And that felt a little like gaslighting to me, like I'm seeing this with my own eyes, I'm hearing this and this would not be excusable. But for him, I mean not just Jennifer, my mom, everybody else. Oh, it's locker room humor. I'm like okay.
Speaker 2:Are you talking about the Billy Bush tapes? I'm talking about anything like that, and it felt a little like gaslighting. So my question is the grab them by the?
Speaker 3:Yes, I think we're supposed to say vagina. I think we've learned that we say penis and vagina now we don't call it anything else.
Speaker 1:We don't call it a. That is what I teach my kids.
Speaker 3:I like hoo-ha better.
Speaker 1:I like hoo-ha it seems more fun.
Speaker 2:Yeah, vagina is so clinical, but he.
Speaker 3:But do you get my point Can?
Speaker 2:I make a point, I get your point.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, kind of I think it's different there's a lot of gaslighting you.
Speaker 3:What you said was I'm seeing this with my own eyes and they're telling me I'm not seeing is the violence on one side and not the other and they're saying we're all right, correct, but I'm saying we're all getting a little bit gaslit okay, what?
Speaker 2:but?
Speaker 3:okay, and I think, that's what richard is trying to say his name is ricky well, I went with the proper name you don't know that I like that.
Speaker 1:You assume he's a richard. Yes, I mean self-proclaimed ricky I, I hear what you're saying I feel like I hear the words you're saying.
Speaker 2:I do think that the billy bush tapes anyway, they didn't, they didn't bother me. I don't know okay I didn't. I thought they were. He tries to be funny to a fault. This is what I was going to say about Trump from yesterday. This is coming out days after, but the talk that they gave yesterday about Tylenol, trump talked first. Yeah, he just needs to shut up His hyperbole.
Speaker 1:It's awful.
Speaker 2:It's out of control, but I take it as funny.
Speaker 3:But I think that's how you get by it.
Speaker 2:Honestly I think, but I do think it's funny.
Speaker 3:I think that's how you cope, and that's fine. I don't know if it's coping, I just think it's funny, but I want someone at some point to admit this is enough, come on. I mean, let's go.
Speaker 1:I can't handle. I can't listen to him talk. It's so stressful Because it stresses me out and because I think I know that I don't agree with a lot that comes out of his mouth or his personality or him as a person. I can't sign off on right and so there's part of me that's kind of like. I just want you to like, pass the policies and sign the papers and like, just do the things you got to do and like, stop talking and like, and like, like, stick to the script like just stick to the script just be at the memorial and say the nice things about the man that died and like for 15 minutes and then exit and then like so I don't know how much.
Speaker 1:I think I've talked y'all know about my family and our background with autism and like this is a battle we've been fighting for like nine years, so I've known a lot about this. This has been like a huge deal for us, so we've been waiting for this news and all this stuff and it's meant so much to us and so even him getting up there, at the beginning I was just like okay and he just kept going.
Speaker 2:And then he even said to rfk I think I probably just made your day worse, or she did.
Speaker 1:He was like and he kept even saying like sorry, like this is actually just based on any to his. To his defense, he kept saying like this is actually just my opinion and yeah not based on anything it's just about. This is just what I think, and he kept it was almost like he was mad.
Speaker 1:He was like just stop it with the talent hall, just don't do it, just stop it. Like he was like mad at someone and I was like but also I wanted to be like okay, buddy again. Like just the lack of he's trying to help, but like the lack of understanding and empathy enough to be like okay, but think about the moms that maybe are hearing this for the first time and have taken tylenol and are feeling so much guilt or shame or like fear about, like did I just ruin my child's life and this is my fault? And like right, you know what I mean for him to get up there and be like no, stop it. You know like he was like tough it out, tough it out. Like you're in pain, just tough it out.
Speaker 1:If you can't tough it out, then take the time off and I was like hey, dude, who's never carried a baby, like, maybe say it different. Or like again, you don't need to be the one to make this announcement like I'm glad that you appointed these people I'm also glad that he was there to.
Speaker 2:He's the president, and it puts a lot of weight behind what yes, his whole cabinet's getting ready to say back, there stand there stand there say the way he's welcome rfk to talk about the things I appointed rfk and all these doctors.
Speaker 1:I am a part of this like he's so narcissistic he can't just stand there. I know I mean this guy is. He got up there like multiple times.
Speaker 3:I mean he Couldn't not Like he is. Oh, and look I, ricky, like. I understand people that had to hold their nose and vote because, like you said, policies or whatever, but at least we can go. Is anybody else seeing this nonsense like oh?
Speaker 1:to me it's holding it's. I want to hold space for both of those things. Like I can say like okay, I'm uncomfortable with the way he talks, and like I don't like all of it, but that I don't have to lean as far into like so I think he's hitler you know what I'm saying, like that's where it's like.
Speaker 1:To me it feels like it's like everyone looks at it, like there's these two camps. It's either like he is like have y'all heard that hilarious song on spotify? That's like he is the savior of the world, you know, and you're like what's happening here, like kidding that was a better representation of you no, oh well, thank you so much.
Speaker 1:Um, but like literally, there's like people that are like he is like our state, america's savior, and you're like easy. And then there's people that are like, oh, listen to him talk. He obviously is a fascist dictator that wants to like right, put us all in a concentration camp. You're like what's happening here? Like can there be a space for like somewhere in the center? Like god forbid where?
Speaker 3:but you know what? The center, the center isn't sexy. That's the problem, I know are you smiling?
Speaker 2:how do you feel? Like let's keep going because the center isn't sexy we got so the center isn't you said? It not me I know hey oh, were you gonna do it?
Speaker 3:that's what she said kind of deal.
Speaker 2:No, you're calling. You try to be in the center and you just said you're not sexy.
Speaker 3:Well, I'm just saying like, okay, so there's this third way, whatever, right, you know, like you know, we go to a church that's doing the third way podcast and I don't think being in the center means that you ignore, like like the far right, and I think there's. There's gotta be a way to integrate all these things, like somewhere it all belongs, but maybe it's not the thing that we talk about. Like, I thought the pyrotechnic thing I don't know if it was, whatever it was I'm like, oh gosh it was awful, but I'm like, but I do if it was whatever it was.
Speaker 3:I'm like, oh gosh, oh, it was awful, but I'm like but.
Speaker 2:I do think it was. I kind of think it was for him, maybe, maybe, but it's the only thing I think, but I just go.
Speaker 3:You know, half a million people showed up to honor this guy and and I'll heard the gospel several times. And the. I mean I get chills to think about the music.
Speaker 2:Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 3:And I'm like God had to be glorified in that and there are probably people there that we couldn't stand. Okay, but still you know that there was some, and maybe I'm a sucker for a big crowd but I mean that stuff gets me. I mean to hear all those people sing and stuff like that.
Speaker 2:I mean, I love that. Oh man, I talked to someone whose sister was there and was texting her. We were texting and she said you can't breathe, it's so intense, like it was.
Speaker 3:The Holy Spirit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean just all those people singing and worshiping. Yeah, what was funny is Chris Tomlin is leading worship Stone-faced and worshiping. Yeah, it's just what was funny, is there Chris Tomlin?
Speaker 3:is leading worship Stone faced.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know he's just stone faced, Well, but you remember like you remember playing shows, for he may just be, you know, it's probably just, he's just focusing, you know.
Speaker 3:But do you remember we played a couple of ginormous shows and that many people. It becomes no one.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Like it's, like I mean, and like the thing we did. Do you remember Celebrate Freedom from being in Dallas? So, we did a couple of those and you know KLTY's thing was always it's the biggest- God listens to this.
Speaker 2:KLTY was Houston.
Speaker 3:KSPJ was Houston.
Speaker 1:KLTY was.
Speaker 2:Dallas. I don't know why I get those mixed up. Is that right, oh?
Speaker 1:KLTY was Dallas. I don't want to get this mixed up, is that right?
Speaker 2:Oh, klty was Dallas, yeah, okay, and God Listens, was Houston, though. Yeah, right, right yeah.
Speaker 3:And it was like I mean it was. Texas-sized, there's 250,000 people.
Speaker 2:What was it like to play for all those people, 250,000 people.
Speaker 3:I was like, not really a big deal.
Speaker 1:It felt like you know, like it's more scary to play for a room of like 10 people staring into your soul.
Speaker 3:Oh my gosh. The songwriter stuff that you do it's terrifying way more intense that's scary yeah all right, you want to do those last two yes, zachary layman hi, zachary, I agree with the hoof videos.
Speaker 2:They bring such relief, but I'm out on the chiropractor ones. I've seen too many of the bad ones. Oh, I've never seen a bad chiropractor video. Brian mclean and what does that mean? Someone fishes are good injured by a chiropractor? I guess. Wow, I don't know. Brian mclean was in one of my favorite bands, salvation, and he had a song called fishes are good and riding my tractor and what else those were the hits they had. They they're brilliant songs loved yeah, okay, he was great he said I just got into the cowhove videos too.
Speaker 2:Why am I watching cowhoves getting shaved?
Speaker 3:I don't know.
Speaker 2:No, he says while I'm getting shaved no oh why am I watching cow hooves getting shaved I?
Speaker 3:thought he said while I'm shaving no, no, no, no Okay.
Speaker 1:That'd be weird.
Speaker 3:So can I. I know that you have things you want to talk about, but there but this is my podcast.
Speaker 2:No, no, no.
Speaker 3:This is your podcast. That's why I want to read these, because it is a list that I downloaded from a magazine, magazine that's for college.
Speaker 1:So this is the answer that college girls give, which is how old we are.
Speaker 3:It's 20 things that we wish men knew about women. We wish that men would pay attention to this stuff and I thought wait, women wish men knew yes, so, and I read this and I was like, well, well, I don't know if Jennifer would agree with this.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, we're talking Gen Z and Gen X. There's a big difference.
Speaker 3:Right, so this is a millennial and a Gen Xer, and I thought I might just lob these in there and see if you guys agree and get your commentary on them.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:Now, the reason I did this is because an hour ago we were coming back from taziki's and I said so what are we?
Speaker 2:going to talk about today on the podcast I said have you prepared anything and she goes huh was I supposed to?
Speaker 3:so anyways, we have time to talk about conrad.
Speaker 2:I'm fine.
Speaker 3:Oh, we're gonna talk conrad well, I think, here's the thing. I think conrad comes up in this okay, you better, I think he does.
Speaker 2:I think he comes up in every conversation. Okay, he better.
Speaker 3:I think he does?
Speaker 2:I think he comes up in every conversation, does he not?
Speaker 1:Just kidding.
Speaker 3:But the assassin that killed Charlie Kirk kind of he, kind of put a damper on the he screwed up the whole end of the summer.
Speaker 2:I turned 30. He really does ruin a lot. He made the summer turn ugly. He really did.
Speaker 3:Number one, the number the number one thing that women wish men knew is that small things count. It's the little gestures that make the biggest impact, not the grand gestures Would you agree?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I feel like that transcends all. Yeah.
Speaker 3:What about these dumb promposals and stuff?
Speaker 2:Man. I think those are detrimental to girls' lives.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I feel like that kind of stuff, the big gestures, do matter. When you're younger, I feel like that's more of like that feels like that age is more like the older you get when you're married. Like you want the little things, like I'm like please do the dishes or do something small, right?
Speaker 2:I guess I just think I think promposals, maybe you're about the guy. That's true.
Speaker 1:It's like a performance thing yeah it's a performance thing. I feel like that's how, and they have to outdo their friends, I just I think it's wrong.
Speaker 2:All you're doing is proposing to someone, basically, and you're setting them up for their proposal to be dumb, like it's got to match up to the promposal, and it's got to match up to the promposal and it's got to be better, or else you're marrying the wrong dude. I don't know. I just think that's true.
Speaker 1:Have y'all shared your proposal story on here.
Speaker 3:I think so. I mean, it sounds like it was a big deal, but my band was playing a concert for a couple hundred people and at the end of the concert I asked her to marry me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, on stage. The one thing I requested was that it be private, and then it was not. No, he did it in front of a whole concert of people.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Well then point proven. Maybe it was more about the performance.
Speaker 3:She doesn't like grand gestures. She never has. No.
Speaker 2:I've never liked them.
Speaker 3:I'm big on little stuff and that took me a while to learn, because the Christian way is you're the best husband, you do everything you have to talk about your smoking hot wife and I'm like that was such a creepy youth pastor-like trend. What is that? What is that?
Speaker 1:I remember that all the time as a high schooler it was like they always had to be like smoking hot wife. It's so weird why.
Speaker 3:I'm not even allowed. I'm having some minor surgery here in a couple of weeks.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 3:I'm not even allowed to say the word in front of my kids and she blushes.
Speaker 2:It's not that you know what surgery he's getting, oh, that's right. It's not that it's that he keeps saying well, I've got to get a vasectomy. I'm like shut up. There's just no need to talk about that with our children.
Speaker 3:I don't keep saying it. He said it Number two, the second most important thing the second most important thing is the E word, not the huge E, not the little E, not drugs. Effort we put on makeup. Sometimes we wear high heels. We try to wear nice clothes because we respect ourselves. Put effort into yourself. It makes us notice and respect you too. Plus, you look way hotter.
Speaker 1:Sorry, the drugs thing felt kind of out of left field. I'm not sure, not drugs, ecstasy.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, I was lost on that too.
Speaker 3:She means ecstasy and erections. That's what she does.
Speaker 2:Oh, oh, okay, this chick, is that the little E?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I guess.
Speaker 2:Sorry, yeah, I guess. Sorry, okay, she seems mad. I don't know, I don't Sure Effort, I would much rather you have a sense of humor, but okay.
Speaker 1:She's saying effort like into his appearance. Yeah, I think, so I mean okay, yeah, I mean, I guess don't. I mean shower.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean I'm not picky about that, but if, if you're funny, I can look past a lot of how you look humor's not even on this depends so much to me.
Speaker 1:I'm like who wrote this? I'm like she dated some dude who, like, smoked a lot of weed and did not shower exactly old college girls, okay, okay, I know, I'm just saying like I.
Speaker 2:I think that is a difference in our age, whereas girls my age didn't, I don't know. I mean sure we liked a guy to look good, but it was more about the attitude.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I noticed today that if you're going to keep having women on, I have to wear pants for this podcast.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah you can't wear boxers.
Speaker 3:I appreciate that I a lot of times wear underwear.
Speaker 2:I truly appreciate that. Thank you, and with Drew it didn't matter. Well, Drew wore pants.
Speaker 3:Thank God, wore pants. Thank god. Maybe that's why he's not here.
Speaker 2:Maybe it did matter in a way, though, that I think if I walked through the room and boxer shaley wouldn't even care. She wouldn't. And ryan I could see him doing it too. Yeah, ryan, definitely wouldn't. I could see ryan going. I don't care, I'm wearing boxers.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, uh, number three, confidence is hot.
Speaker 3:Arrogance is not. Every girl loves a man who's comfortable in his own skin. It makes, makes us feel safe and protected and nothing is sexier than that. But arrogance, we period can't period stand it.
Speaker 2:Okay, but that is such a fine line.
Speaker 1:And what do they mean?
Speaker 2:I mean yes, confidence is by far the sexiest quality in my opinion.
Speaker 3:Well, the one thing I know this because I work a lot with Shaley is the one thing you guys share is you don't like wussy men.
Speaker 1:Oh this is true, I can't handle it. You don't like mealy men. I don't like a beta. No, you don't so we were talking.
Speaker 2:I was talking to some single women the other day and we were talking about making a list of things that they want, you know, and praying over that list. And on my list was I want confident, not cocky, and so that's kind of what they're saying.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so yeah, but I think confidence is for sure. It is a hard, it's like a very thin line, though, which I think comes from, I think, the Holy Spirit not to over-spiritualize. I think helps with that and I would say Probably some therapy and mental health that's true, but what does arrogance look like?
Speaker 2:Where are you going?
Speaker 3:I just wanted to make sure all these are going.
Speaker 2:Okay, and then you just thought you'd go in the other room a little bit, he just thought we were going to talk about him.
Speaker 3:Maybe, if that's okay.
Speaker 2:Oh see, he's hot. He needs his underwear on.
Speaker 1:Oh, I thought you were saying like see, he's hot, he, he's confident.
Speaker 3:He's confident.
Speaker 2:I'm arrogant enough to step up he is confident enough to just walk out of the room. He's like I don't need to ask.
Speaker 1:Jennifer's permission, I'm going to go change the thermostat right now. Confidence, jeremy, he's got it?
Speaker 2:No, but what is arrogance? I don't even know what we're dealing with here.
Speaker 3:I think we know arrogance when we see it, do we?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it's.
Speaker 1:I don't know Because I think right now I'm like thinking of people.
Speaker 2:Okay, can you think of arrogant people? Yeah, I don't know that I can.
Speaker 3:The one thing, though, that you guys got to understand is us confident air. Quote guys, we can sometimes tip over into arrogance. We don't mean it.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:But I think you guys are okay with that.
Speaker 2:You're like eh, you're a little arrogant, yeah, it doesn't bother me, do you watch?
Speaker 3:reality TV at all. Not much, that's not so.
Speaker 1:British. That'll give you a little peek into some arrogant men Okay what are we talking?
Speaker 2:Bachelor in Paradise. Oh, I haven't watched that in a while. Listen, this is where.
Speaker 1:I am. I haven't watched Bachelor, really, since Chris Harrison was fired. Fair, yeah, it has taken a little bit of a turn, okay, see.
Speaker 2:I'm kind of out on it, but that'll because it's just young men on television they're also trying to figure out who's the pack leader, who they're in competition with each other.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so it just shows their colors. Yes, but then a lot of times the women like are going for these men that are coming across as like, oh, they're like, ooh, they're confident, they're sexy, and then like, behind the scenes, when they interact with each other, they're just like yeah, I've got her, and they're really arrogant. You know what I mean and you're like, and you can see it, and you're like gross, that guy is just cocky.
Speaker 2:She doesn't know, and she just thinks like, ooh confident, but then eventually they can't go off of that because that guy is going. I want camera time Eventually, because I would like to roll this into another career Exactly, and so I see it. If I can be cocky and get all this airtime, I can maybe roll this into a podcast and they all do, and they all do, or they want to be influencers. Yes, they want to be influencers.
Speaker 1:Yes, they want to be influencers, you know so jeremiah versus conrad jeremiah maybe a little clunky well or insecure. Okay, that's another, that's another difference insecurity yeah, I think goes hand in hand. Would you agree, jeremy? Would you agree, jeremiah?
Speaker 3:thanks. I mean I I'm a little insecure sometimes.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna have to say but I mean, like isn't that kind of the difference of like confidence and then arrogance, like I feel like insecurity is kind of? That usually partnered with the arrogance. Because it's like you're usually trying to kind of hide that insecurity yeah and that's when you can kind of see it where you're like agreed it's coming out sideways.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that usually a confident person is not looking for approval as much as an arrogant person who is just trying. We were talking about. Who were we talking? Oh, we were at church on Sunday and we were talking to all the musicians.
Speaker 2:We were leading worship, so we were in the green room and we were talking about all these A-level musicians who played on our records back in the day and who were just amazing and so sweet and who would just like serve, you know, trying to help each other, and I was like that's the difference between an a level and a b level. B level are out for themselves and I don't think they'll ever does that.
Speaker 3:that's yeah, there's so much puffery and yes, they try so hard, it's just so gross yeah, that is gross and it's not enjoyable to be around.
Speaker 2:No, so they're never going to. It's never going to advance.
Speaker 3:Anyway.
Speaker 2:I don't think that's part of that. Go ahead. What's another one?
Speaker 3:Don't be a man child. I've never understood those girls, that mummy, their boyfriends. It's actually a bit sickening.
Speaker 2:I think they meant mommy.
Speaker 3:It says mommy, most guys are kids at heart, but if we're doing more than a bit of coddling, ie cutting your food into pieces, then there's definitely a big problem. That's disgusting, I mean, doesn't that go without saying? I?
Speaker 2:think that's probably in the weed smoking culture that we didn't really have. I think a lot of these guys are just playing video games and smoking weed and don't have a life.
Speaker 1:That's probably part of that, that not to continue to make this about the summer. I turned pretty but, but I will. But that actually was like a thing about jeremiah and belly to me is that that was their relationship. Like she was like a mom figured out, she like took care of him. Yeah, like you know, like every time they were together it was just like she was like coddling him and he just needed her.
Speaker 2:And like he was always asking her for something. At one point she's sitting there and he's like laying on her, yeah, and she's like I was like ew, I know this is gross, that's like when that Bieber cover came out with him. I didn't see it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you did. He was like, because you showed it to me, I like laying on the chest of his wife or girlfriend at the time, and you were like, oh, this is like a little boy. Yeah, I don't remember that.
Speaker 1:I think, though, the belly was projecting so much of that because her mom is not warm at all. Yeah, she is not warm, and well, and then jeremiah also lost his mom.
Speaker 3:So I feel like she took the place of that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, have you, not to derail us, but have you? Did you change your tune? Did you watch the finale? Finale, did you? Are you team? I?
Speaker 3:still think Conrad, the martyr thing I can't do, I hate it.
Speaker 2:That's so interesting.
Speaker 3:When people just go. Oh, I will be the. I'll take the bullet, but he kind of got his way in the end. I was glad for him.
Speaker 2:I don't see that in him, him I mean we'll have to wait for the movie. But well, we're gonna be waiting a while.
Speaker 1:I know I don't think, yeah, I think that he was unhealthy. I think he thought he was sacrificing himself because he was like I won't be a good enough partner for her. I'm so broken, I need to let her go and it was the wrong move.
Speaker 2:That was what was that. That was part of season two, right yeah, I think that's why at the beginning. I feel like he was just trying to.
Speaker 1:He found out information he shouldn't have had, yeah, and he didn't want to bring everybody down, and so he was just trying to hold it all in yeah, if he had a jeremy in his life swallowed that grenade and was just exploding inside of him and he was saving everyone if he had a jeremy in his life that could have talked him through that, then he would have been great and they would have stayed together. Okay, but he didn't have that.
Speaker 3:He should have, though let them get married and not say anything, and if it didn't work out, I mean that I don't agree.
Speaker 1:Okay, Number six listen.
Speaker 2:Jeremy does not want to talk about listen and take interest is number six.
Speaker 3:If it's just sex, then that's fine, no need to talk, no need to listen. But if I listen to your problems about work and the gym and the lads, then yes, I do expect you to stop playing. Xbox for 10 minutes and hear about what a prick my boss is.
Speaker 2:Gosh.
Speaker 3:These relationships are unhinged.
Speaker 2:I cannot relate to these people at all. I have no clue how to even respond to that.
Speaker 1:Turn your Xbox off and stop playing with the lads, Like what you need to hear about me, boss, me, boss. You need to hear about me, boss. Like, yeah, that seems pretty straightforward, like these aren't Like, if you have to ask, for this. I would say this is a problem.
Speaker 3:Can you be a human? Hey, I have to say I have clients where xbox is a problem, like we're talking, like from eight o'clock at night till four in the morning wow yeah, yeah, oh no it's grown, grown-ups with kids.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, world of warcraft oh, no, yeah, yeah, I mean I can't, I don't't.
Speaker 1:No, it's a problem.
Speaker 3:I would have zero tolerance for this, I mean they did it when they were before they were married, and I would have zero tolerance for this.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:No time. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, I'm getting up, yeah no.
Speaker 1:I don't know if you guys will agree with have our periods just back off.
Speaker 3:Just back the F off. These women are unwell. What does?
Speaker 2:that mean? What does that mean? What does that mean Like don't talk to me, or does that mean physically, you're bleeding profusely.
Speaker 1:My hormones are completely resetting in my whole body. And then I have three children to take care of and they're like no, you are not supposed like isolate from me and pretend like I don't exist.
Speaker 2:Yeah, these people don't have children and plus I don't know.
Speaker 1:I mean I don't know what that means. Again, like this depends on the person I like, my whole fear of abandonment would be like why aren't you talking to me? Like, I would just like be a puddle on the floor, but if someone like is not like that and would be like, if you talk to me, I'll murder you, then maybe, but I just is it fair to ask, hey, do you have your period?
Speaker 2:no, don't ask. It's like asking if you're pregnant, don't ask depends on the person.
Speaker 1:I'm one of those people that I am, like, currently menstruating you know what I mean like I will just say it bleeding from your sleep, like because I actually though, because for me it's not on the actual period. It's the two to three days before yeah when I am like why do I want to burn the world to the ground?
Speaker 1:yeah and then I will tell ryan, I will literally be like I am angry and I like I like need some space or like I feel like you should tread lightly, yeah, like I will literally just tell her warning, and then he'll be like okay, and he just knows that, like okay, and I don't tell him like back off, don't talk to me. I'm basically just like I'm sensitive, I think this is what's happening here, and then that way, when I do start, I'm like I'm not crazy.
Speaker 2:It like gives me like peace when I start, because I'll be like, just wait, I'm not insane, don't ever start, and you're like wait a minute and you still want to burn the world down yes, and it never goes away. Oh, this is great.
Speaker 3:I can't wait for that, yay, I just there's no good time to ask, because if if there's like a spin out, I can't be like is it possible you have your period?
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh yeah.
Speaker 1:I would say during a spin out it's not a good time to ask no absolutely not.
Speaker 2:It just sounds. It feels pandering, are you okay? You seem a little crabby. You don't ask someone if they're crabby ever. Ever Are you okay? Is a good question. If someone ever ever are you okay? Is a good question. If someone is crabby, the last thing they want to be asked is if they're crabby or if I'm not crabby. And he asked me if I'm crabby now, I'm crabby.
Speaker 1:I like the word crabby. Well, you can say are you okay? Maybe that's a good, and then that gives them the opportunity to tell you if they would like to tell you you seem a little grumpy today well, I'm bleeding profusely so kisses are great.
Speaker 3:Sometimes we both forget how good a long, hard kissing session can actually be what are we doing? Do we like kissing now?
Speaker 2:do we like kissing now? Can you tell who he's married?
Speaker 1:I need to know who these women are. I do do too.
Speaker 3:These are young women in their 20s.
Speaker 2:Okay, why are we even they don't know jack crap?
Speaker 3:But do we like kissing?
Speaker 2:Who do we? It depends Wait, so what was it depends on what time of the month it is.
Speaker 3:Kissing is great was the next one on the list.
Speaker 1:They want men to know that kissing is great. Kissing is great, yeah, sure.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, sure, okay again in your 20s, mostly exactly exactly.
Speaker 3:I mean we made out like there was no tomorrow, yes, and then we got married and it was like that's over, yeah, no more kissing but, also like, especially when you could mostly only do kissing that's what it was.
Speaker 2:This is all we could do. So you know, yeah, it's all we got. We got to make the most of it. It was this is all we could do. So you know, yeah, it's all we got. We got to make the most of it. Yeah, then it wasn't all we had anymore.
Speaker 1:I was like like, remember, when you couldn't like sit on a couch and watch a movie.
Speaker 2:Yes, without making out.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes. And now you're like doing red light therapy masks and like not touching each other. I need one of those. Do you have that? You're the best. You look like a psycho.
Speaker 2:I don't care, I'm okay with that. That's great. What else you got? Some of these I'm skipping because they're just Because they're absolutely stupid.
Speaker 3:Well, they're just basic. This one is learn to say sorry. Stop being so stubborn. Just admit when you're wrong. And we will, which is rare, and we will too. She says Okay.
Speaker 2:And we will too. She says Okay, good, okay.
Speaker 3:Sometimes all we need is a hug. We know it's the same for you, but when we look like we need a hug.
Speaker 1:We definitely need a hug. I am that person.
Speaker 3:Do you need a hug, sometimes A thousand percent.
Speaker 1:But I'm physical touch, so when I'm upset it softens me. It will lower my shoulders and my whole countenance.
Speaker 3:I'm the same. I like a hug.
Speaker 1:If Ryan can just come over and hold me, it helps me a lot, but again, that's per person. I can't be like a yeah, that's per person, because would you hate that?
Speaker 2:I don't think I'd hate. I don't hate it.
Speaker 3:I don't think all she ever needs is a hug yeah.
Speaker 1:No needs is a hug. Yeah, no, a therapist put it this way once, though for us like, because sometimes when we're in like in a fight, then I've told ryan like you know that this whole thing could end if you just hugged me, but it would be like. And then our therapist like but that's literally like a cactus asking being like, hug me. You know I was like, but cute cactus One of the ones that looks soft until you.
Speaker 2:Then you pull away and you're like Ooh, I have things, and that's how Ryan put it is.
Speaker 1:it's like someone being mean and then being like yeah, get in here, you know, but I was like, but also think of how much it would fix everything. You just so I don't know how you feel about that, but it's like they would fix things. But also it's hard to like hug someone when they've been mean to you yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't know.
Speaker 3:I think it's a good first step.
Speaker 2:Hey, I don't know if you've ever used a microphone before. Oh yes, these two go together.
Speaker 3:Toilet humor. Stop talking about your toilet activities and never bring up ours. Take care of your hygiene. Brush your teeth, get showered, deodorize.
Speaker 2:You're a grown man okay, yeah, I mean, I feel like that's what's expected of a grown man.
Speaker 3:These are college who are these men?
Speaker 2:because, they're not, they're boys, these are man-childs, yeah this one is stop getting drunk.
Speaker 1:We know it's the same for us getting drunk is cool.
Speaker 3:Getting sloppy dribbled drunk is not cool dribbled drunk.
Speaker 1:Is that an english term? I like that this Look.
Speaker 3:I have millennial clients who are? They get pass out drunk.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 3:They put their kids to bed. They get drunk with their neighbors.
Speaker 1:Rock on.
Speaker 3:This is what I feel like is hard. Don't forget our birthday. We live in an age where you can remind yourself by typing it into your phone. Yeah, I I forget birthdays I do too I do
Speaker 2:like. I don't like these women at all birthday?
Speaker 3:I have not.
Speaker 2:No, no, I've never forgot it like but on the day but leading, leading up, I've gone. Oh my god, like, yeah, like the day before you're like oh shoot, yeah, I do that every time with this birthday. Every year I forgot father's day this year.
Speaker 3:That was bad. That was a bad move. That's a bad move.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like the day before you're like oh shoot, I do that every time with this birthday. Every year I forgot Father's.
Speaker 1:Day this year. That was a bad move. That's a bad move. It was bad, not on purpose it was bad though yeah, you're like, oh oops, I mean I've only had a few of them so far. Right, that's true.
Speaker 2:No, it was bad. You're new to it.
Speaker 3:That's kind of the end of that list. I thought this next list was hilarious. I typed in things that you should talk to a woman about, and these are things women want to be asked.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 3:I was like I've been married 30 years.
Speaker 1:And I don't think I know this stuff and maybe you don't need to according to these women Question her inner world and beliefs.
Speaker 3:What does happiness mean to you? What are your three top core values? What is your personal philosophy that shapes your outlook on life?
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, do you?
Speaker 3:believe in fate, destiny, luck. Why?
Speaker 2:Can I say something? Yeah, I don't know the answers to these for myself, right, I know.
Speaker 3:No, this is Christian stuff now. This is not the college girls. This is thing you need to be asking your girlfriends to get to know them. What, who's your biggest role model? What was your childhood like? What's your biggest challenge? What do you think people? What do you wish people knew about you Like? Can you imagine us asking that on a first date?
Speaker 2:No, I would be so, like what.
Speaker 3:What's on your bucket list? If you had all the money you needed, what would you do? What are you most proud of?
Speaker 2:It's exhausting. What's your biggest?
Speaker 3:fear. Have you ever faced it? How do you? When? Do you feel like your most true self? What makes you feel safe? What keeps you up at night?
Speaker 2:What makes you feel most scared. This list keeps me up at night, yeah, what's something you if we did more often? Together. She'd be like be apart. I know I wish together we could be alone yeah what have you learned about love from being with me?
Speaker 3:oh my god can you imagine these?
Speaker 2:gosh. No, that is terrible. If you ask me one of those questions, i'd'd be like bye.
Speaker 3:That's terrifying.
Speaker 2:You need to go get a snack. Yeah, is this like a Tinder date?
Speaker 3:I have to say this sounds kind of like the kind of crap Hutch wants to talk about.
Speaker 1:Oh buddy.
Speaker 3:Like I could see him. He's a deep well no but like he and his friends, I could see them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they'd probably get into that wanting to discuss this list, but god forbid he discuss it with us.
Speaker 1:He doesn't want to hear anything about that yeah, from us well, I can see it, maybe like when you're really really getting in there with somebody, like one of these questions coming up naturally. But I feel like if you showed up just like right out this list to somebody, it would be like a little overwhelming because I couldn't even tell you, oh my gosh, I don't even know.
Speaker 2:I would have to think about one of those questions. One, yeah, for about a week yeah, to come up with an answer.
Speaker 3:It would take me a while what is something you wish we did more often, I guess I am not a very deep thinker what do you wish we did? You are a deep thinker, um. What have you learned about love being with me?
Speaker 2:He's like wait a second. I almost said something stupid. I won't, I'll try to take it seriously. He actually wants to ask you live on a podcast. He actually wants the answers to these questions. That's why you brought them up, no pressure but answer them live now. Yeah, what else you got there in your little pile of?
Speaker 3:papers. What are you looking forward to most in this life?
Speaker 2:Oh my God, this list being over yeah.
Speaker 3:What makes you feel most alive.
Speaker 2:Not answering these questions.
Speaker 3:Sleep Sleep.
Speaker 2:Sleep does make me feel alive.
Speaker 1:Bring back the 20-year-old weirdos, yeah.
Speaker 2:I'll talk about them any day.
Speaker 1:These people are crazy. They're dating questions.
Speaker 3:I mean you're a little more in the heart space. You might like some of these questions.
Speaker 2:What space am I in? The head space I think you are.
Speaker 3:I mean, you're a little more logical. We have said that, shaley, and I have often said that you and Ryan are alike.
Speaker 2:I just wonder okay, think about this, because you two are physical touch what are your other? I mean, what's your other high ones? I think, words of affirmation probably Okay, that's him too, okay. So what is? You don't have?
Speaker 1:to laugh in a condescending way. I didn't mean it that way. What are Ryan's Laugh?
Speaker 3:but then tell me, I'm pretty, please. I mean, doesn't everybody want someone to rub their back and tell them how great? They are, they're not my top two really they're not I don't care about gifts. I know that's my last one, okay, but if what are the other ones? Actually, you made me a cup of tea this morning. It was really nice. It helped good and then what's the it's words?
Speaker 1:touch gifts acts, there's another gifts is mine, like giving gifts is mine right oh, you like getting them, but getting it, you don't care that much about I mean, I'd like it, but I'd rather receive words or touch.
Speaker 2:oh, okay, what are ryan's acts of service? For sure, okay, can you imagine if ryan and I, if a person, not ryan, you know, okay, wow.
Speaker 1:Inappropriate.
Speaker 2:Shut up, but I just mean like, because that's mine too.
Speaker 3:Is it really?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 3:Acts of service.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you're good at that.
Speaker 3:I am yeah, oh.
Speaker 2:You try to be.
Speaker 3:She likes acts of service if she doesn't have to bring up the act.
Speaker 2:She likes it when yes, you need to think of it.
Speaker 3:And when she's working she wants other people working. No, no, no, like at her job.
Speaker 2:Wait a minute time out.
Speaker 3:What.
Speaker 2:This is your own, this is what you think. I think and I have told you so many times Just because I'm doing something, I'm fine with you not doing it. This is your own thing. That you think that's not true? Okay, I've told you that. Wait. So what is true? So, like, if I'm cleaning and he's taking a nap, let's say he's like I feel guilty because I feel like you think and I'm like I told, I'm fine with you taking a nap, do you not agree?
Speaker 1:Which that's more on us then Well.
Speaker 3:I think it's kind of circumstantial, like if we're both laying down, taking a nap and she gets up and starts cleaning, I don't feel like I need to, but if she's like there's so much I need to do around the house today and then she's doing a lot around here and I'm just twiddling my thumbs, she wants me to be helping who wouldn't, okay, I okay.
Speaker 2:Anyway, all I'm gonna say is do those people ever get together like two shaley and a jeremy and a jennifer and a ryan? Do we ever get together like, does that? Have you seen this in any of your?
Speaker 1:clients with couples that have the same love languages. I feel like it's always the opposite.
Speaker 3:Maybe some I I actually don't use the love languages because I think that they change. I like you know, a person might be physical, touch and words, but if she just had a baby, she needs someone to help with the baby, Like so I don't know. I mean I would say, except for gifts, just because I feel bad. Someone spending money on me. I like all of them. I can't remember the fifth one, it's gifts services words touch.
Speaker 2:Time spent.
Speaker 1:Time. Yeah, quality time, words touch time, spent time, yeah well, you do like learn, like I basically had to learn, like what ryan's like giving was, like I learned, oh, like he just does stuff for me, like he serves me and that's him loving me. And then I received it and I was like that's really nice, like he's not as like wordy, yeah you know. But instead, and like for a while for the beginning of our marriage, I'd just be like he doesn't tell me these like like lovey-d know, but instead and like.
Speaker 1:For a while for the beginning of our marriage, I'd just be like he doesn't tell me these like, like lovey, dovey things all the time. And then I started seeing like, oh, but like, he does this and this and this and this and like, and I started seeing it and then I was like, oh, okay, like that's like that means a lot, I mean, and it wasn't. I don't feel like that was like me, I didn't feel like I was letting something go or like dying to that part of myself, cause I still feel like he also like leaned in a little bit and was like and like met me there too.
Speaker 1:But I also was like I had to learn to be like. This is how Ryan shows me love and I can like receive it that way. So we do change a little bit. You kind of have to, yeah.
Speaker 3:And also I think you learn like like she says. I do, I agree, I like physical touch. But she says I'm words of affirmation. But if I really was words of affirmation I don't know if we would work. Because, like I think, if I am words of affirmation then I know that when they come from her she means it Because, like, I mean she tells me, like once a year, that I look handsome, but she says I forget to tell you.
Speaker 3:You know right, but I don't need it. You know what I mean. I don't, I don't know, yeah, and she'll say you're really good at that, or good job, but it's not, definitely not every day. Sorry, but I don't know. Maybe, but you believe, maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm not so much a words of affirmation person, or maybe I was more in my 20s I don't know I don't know either I don't know well it's the same way that when I became a mom of three toddlers.
Speaker 1:My physical touch needs changed yeah, I was like please stop touching me, everyone, everyone. You know what I mean, like I'm being touched all the time and you know they tell us Christian guys, sex begins in the kitchen.
Speaker 3:Do the dishes. I could do the dishes for a year. That really doesn't. That doesn't translate into like, oh, I do the dishes. Now she wants to have sex. I mean, there is a book for Christians Sex begins in the kitchen. And I want to write a rebuttal and go it doesn't I got news for you, like maybe just for that guy untrue, yeah, but I get what they were going for.
Speaker 2:I mean, at that time especially, that was kind of a book for our parents, yeah, and baby boomer, I mean not to bring it back to the generations, but baby boomers didn't really, you know, they didn't talk about their feelings at all. And so these women were starving for any kind of affection. That's fair, you know. They went off to work. The moms raised the kids, you know.
Speaker 3:I listened to a lecture about women and sex like a psychology lecture and they feel like it was around between 1950 and 1970 was the first time in human history that women were allowed to enjoy sex. That it was like, okay, yes, you can like this and you can have opinions and that's just.
Speaker 2:That's a sad Don't tell me what to do. I can enjoy it if I want to. That's right. How dare I mean that doesn't make sense to me. You told me that and I was like that's right. How dare I mean? That doesn't make sense to me? You told me that and I was like I know Allowed by who.
Speaker 1:What do you?
Speaker 2:mean allowed.
Speaker 1:What the heck does that mean Society?
Speaker 2:Like, allowed to talk about it. No, allowed to.
Speaker 3:Sex was for the enjoyment of a man and to make babies. It was not for the enjoyment of women, enjoyment of women. She was not. She was not supposed to have an opinion about sex.
Speaker 2:how much sex? What kind of sex? I don't, I just do not like this conversation.
Speaker 3:Okay, it's your podcast.
Speaker 2:Go, and I do not like that. No, what'd you have your iPad for? I do not. Well, I was going to talk about millennials.
Speaker 3:Do it Talk about millennials? No, we don't have time now. We have so much time.
Speaker 2:Okay, what I do want to talk about your sad. Jesus music. Tell us about it, tell us what you're doing. Is it out?
Speaker 1:Well, some songs are. I'm kind of just releasing them as I go.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:What are they? They are sad songs about faith. I basically you know sad Jesus music. Basically I started writing songs. I was doing worship for a while but then just kind of wanted to write more honest songs about just the faith journey and kind of the darker side of the Christian walk.
Speaker 1:What is the darker side Depends, it's hard to kind of sum up, but I mean I guess coming from like writing more in the CCM or worship route at least from my experience this is not what it is for everybody, but I felt like I was told to kind of write in certain parameters, like this was the box you have to kind of stay in, like this is the route that you have to go, and I just felt really boxed in by that basically.
Speaker 1:I was was like okay, well, what if I wanted to write more kind of about like this experience or more about like the doubt or the journey or like whatever? And so these songs kind of started being like coming out of that space, and so yeah, I kind of am not thinking clearly right now, but we can talk about millennials maybe no, but I think they kind of go together.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, I think your generation is the biggest generation to be deconstructing their faith. Well, yeah, and to be walking away from the faith, to kind of so it. I feel like they kind of go together. I mean, I know that's not what your stuff is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's interesting. Well, and so I started kind of like a writer's round called Honest Jesus Music, because like it felt like every Christian writer's round or like anything like that was very like positive, encouraging Caleb and like all the stuff.
Speaker 1:I was just like, or it just felt again like deconstruction became this very negative thing and it was all like walking away from the faith and it was like all the stuff.
Speaker 1:And I was like, well, is there something again like we talked about in the middle Right Of like, well, what does it look like if, like, you can ask questions and find God in the midst of that and he can show you?
Speaker 1:Because, like when I started asking questions, all God showed me was that he was better than I thought he was and like he met me there and like it just ended up being this really beautiful experience for me, where I just like he just showed up in a really powerful way and like I've never felt closer to God in his spirit than I have in this season and, um, I was just finding this like church that we really loved and like just he's just really just reawakened so much in me through this, and so I was like through this kind of um, a writer's round that I was a part of, where I was like just came to the writers and I basically was like, hey, do y'all have any songs that are maybe like a little on the sadder side or talk about harder topics and it happened to be with these people that were going through some harder things, like I had a friend that his wife got diagnosed with cancer, or like a friend that had a kid that was a part of the covenant shooting, Like all these people that were like had gone through these really dark things and they were all like, yeah, like we'll sing these songs and we'll talk about these things.
Speaker 1:And so they did.
Speaker 1:And then that night ended up being this like super powerful, kind of like therapeutic moment, and like the audience even was so like into it and we all just were like it just felt like musical group therapy on accident, because we were all just being honest and sharing our experiences with each other and like singing these songs about faith that weren't just like tied up in a nice little bow, like right, but god is great you know what I mean like and because he is, but we just could leave stuff hanging. You know what I mean like songs didn't have to like tie up nicely, which I just appreciated you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:So how does, when you say it doesn't tie up nicely, what does it end like? What does that mean?
Speaker 1:I guess I don't know like the song doesn't have to I'm only thinking of like cheesy songs but like it didn't have to end with like and God is in control, right, it could just be like, and I still have questions. And like and like, oh, and I'm still sad but, Jesus is still real and he's still with me, but like I'm still hurting, or like this thing isn't solved, but like, but I still believe.
Speaker 1:I still believe I'm still you know what I mean like right, I'm not okay. Or like I'm holding the balance of like still being in the midst of the struggle, but like finding in the faith in it, you know, like it's just trying to like hold the tension of that right so that night just ended up being so powerful that I was like how can I figure out how to like do that, like keep having that night over and over?
Speaker 3:again so.
Speaker 1:I ended up posting that again and called it Honest Jesus Music and just had a couple writers out and we did it at Humphrey Street Coffee and it was really precious and it was really great. And so people came and we did the same kind of thing where we just all shared these really honest songs and it was like the same kind of experience. It was really great. And so people came and we did the same kind of thing where we just all shared these really honest songs and it was like the same kind of experience. It was really beautiful and therapeutic and honest.
Speaker 1:And people were like it was this weird thing because people, like some people were crying and it was, you know, emotional, but everyone left feeling really hopeful, which I thought was interesting. Yes, that's what was so interesting about it to me is it was like because some people not to name names, but there were some industry people that pushed back on it, that were like, when I originally pitched it, some industry people were like what if we called it like a night of hope or something like that? And I was like, hmm, kind of defeats the purpose. Well, actually it's like the opposite of that, um, but then, ironically, like it ended up being this really hopeful night because, to me, vulnerability and honesty like creates hope. Because we all left feeling hopeful, even though we all talked about some of like the darkest stuff that was going on in our lives.
Speaker 2:It's interesting, it like it's kind of like the psalms, like you start out in this really dark place, but but then you. So this is my question with because we have friends that are deconstructing Right. So what? What causes them to go down?
Speaker 3:You guys actually have a mutual friend.
Speaker 2:Yes, we all three do. What causes? And and, like I said, millennials I was looking it up they actually are deconstructing and walking away from their faith more than any other generation. They actually are deconstructing and walking away from their faith more than any other generation. What causes them to go into the valley but not come back out the other side? Like why are they getting stuck in the valley and then like actually backtracking and kind of just staying down there and actually walking away. Like what are your opinions about that?
Speaker 1:I think there's probably a lot of reasons. My current theory is that people that get down there are like trying to find their answers from people and from the world and from whether that's other Christians or TED Talks or podcasts or books or pastors or like other people that have deconstructed or like whoever else it is. They're like they're just getting their information from so many people and so many, or pastors or other people that have deconstructed or whoever else it is. They're just getting their information from so many people and so many voices. Because I think, ultimately, sometimes they're just looking for an echo chamber or they're looking to just be validated for what they're feeling, and I think a lot of times we forget to let God into it and let God's actual voice into it.
Speaker 1:Because I think that's kind of scary for a lot of Christians even for me coming from a Reformed background to actually let God's voice in Really and be like well, god, what do you have to say about it? That's a question we've talked about in our sessions. What do you say about it? Like what? Like what's true, like actually letting God speak in on it. Cause I think when we have questions and when we like have doubts and all that stuff, and we actually let God in and ask him and are like not afraid to sit in silence and let him speak on it and speak to us and trust that he's going to show up and talk, and I think he will.
Speaker 1:And I think that's like vulnerable and scary Right To sit there and like trust that he will.
Speaker 2:What's the scary? Is it scary because you feel like oh, maybe this isn't God, Maybe this is?
Speaker 1:me.
Speaker 2:Because what if he doesn't? So is that your fear? Like is that, are you just afraid he's not going to, or to, or I?
Speaker 1:my fear is always what if it's me? Yeah, what if I'm just making this up in my head? What if it's my own voice? Yes, I said that to God. I literally was like what if it's? What if this isn't your voice? What if?
Speaker 3:you don't show up.
Speaker 1:What if I literally was walking on my treadmill in my office, like my little flat treadmill thing, and and I asked him to come walk with me and I was like this is really scary, because what if you don't show up? And what if I? I literally extended my hand out because I felt I was like this is really vulnerable, because I'm like I look so stupid if you don't show up here and like do something. You know what I mean, because I'm like you could not and I could just be here talking to myself, like it's fine, you know, but he did, he showed up and I felt like it was real and like but that's just an experience, like I can't prove that right to anybody else you know, but you also, no one can talk you out of it.
Speaker 2:They can't, no one can talk you out of it it's as real, as if it were a person standing there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I don't feel the need to like you know, I don't feel the need to prove right to anyone that that experience happened. God just met me in that and it was as real as it is here, you know. And and then that's why that experience ended up being beautiful to me, because he was like no, I'm going to show you that I'm better than you thought I was.
Speaker 2:And like I'm going to meet you in that and like do you think had had you not had that experience, you could find yourself in a deconstruction place. Maybe Did you feel yourself going that way a little bit, and then do you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:I mean maybe I don't know, because you have a lot of friends that are doing that. Right, I do, I just, and it's hard, it's hard to know why I felt like I didn't. I never veered that far down that path, like I don't know if, because I know, like I mean I started meeting with you pretty much at the beginning of that, because I think the minute I started like even like being like that, yeah, I think I decided I didn't want a lot of voices, I just wanted to pick a few.
Speaker 1:And I think God had brought you into my life right at the beginning of that and that just felt purposeful to me, and so I was just like. I just felt like I was like you're going to be one of those few voices that are in there and I'm so grateful that you were, because I feel like that made a big difference, but I was kind of like what I said.
Speaker 1:I'm so grateful that you were because I feel like that made a big difference, but it's kind of like what I said. I was like you could easily fill it up with too much noise, too many voices, too many opinions, or you can trust a few people that the Holy Spirit puts in your life.
Speaker 2:Right, what do you think? What do you think gets them in the valley and then just digging holes deeper and lower than the valley?
Speaker 3:Yeah, Well, I don't know that. That's kind of I don't know that. That's the final answer. I think we hear from a lot of people who they're going through deconstruction and then they just chuck the whole thing, but I actually think the more common like I don't know if you're right about that. Okay, what do you ask?
Speaker 2:No, I know, I just don't know if you're right about the more common. I mean, do you know that for sure?
Speaker 3:I think for like even the movement, the jury's kind of still out.
Speaker 3:I mean, if like walking with the Lord requires it's a walk, and it takes time, like, and depending on who the person is, depending on who the person. That's why I think, shaley's right, you got to pick a couple of people to kind of walk with you and be your guide, but depending on who the person is, sometimes there are different things that they have to deconstruct. I mean, shaley, you didn't, you didn't have to chuck the whole thing. We did stop reading the Bible for a little bit. Remember, I told you I think you need to stop reading the Bible for a little just to kind of clear your head, because you were reading it. You were kind of reading it to kind of extract like I don't know, like a formula or whatever. And you you push back against that at first, right it just felt weird to hear that.
Speaker 1:I was like what do you mean? Yeah, and I don't know how I feel about that well, I didn't mean, it was like a hot second.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:I just said, you know, and I had another. I've had another client where the bible was weaponized against her, to where she I mean she just couldn't, and I said, well, just don, there's so many other ways to experience the Lord, and it took her 10 years and now she's just loves it again.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it was because I was reading the Old Testament and I just kept seeing the Punisher God.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I just kept being like I don't know why.
Speaker 1:It was just like I was like what is happening, like it was just like I was like what is happening, like it was messing with me and it.
Speaker 3:But it just took like a month or so of me like being like, oh, and then god resetting me, but then it was the same kind of thing where then now it's like god's redeemed so much of that yeah, I think that we I think the church people are scared when people start to ask questions because we think, well, what if they're right? What if God isn't? And I just go, well, what if you are right? But my experience has been, like yours, that God is so much better and I love the Bible more than I did.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 3:I still go to church and you know what I mean. But I do think we're kind of scared to let people question. I think we need to wrap it up in a bow, but I don't think it's so much that we care for them. I think it's because we're scared for us. Like you walk into your 13 year old kid's room at night and you're tucking her in and she goes mama, I don't know if God's real. Well, by the time she goes to sleep, you're not going to wrap that up and and have you walk out and go. You're right, mom, if she God is real. Like it might take a minute and you might have to go. Well, that's okay, let's talk about that.
Speaker 3:And then you know, it's this flow of a conversation and I think that deconstruction can be seen as a bit of a I don't mean this condescendingly, but as a spiritual adolescence where you're kind of finding yourself and you're figuring out. Like you know, we take on our parents' faith, it's what we have, and then we got to go. Okay, you know what's mine. And then some of us adopt something new in our 20s and then we gotta go. Well, I don't know if I'm, and we just keep going. I don't know about that and uh, maybe, and we just keep going, maybe I don't know, let's see and I think the more we go okay, I don't know, let's see the more god's like oh well, you know what else?
Speaker 3:let you know.
Speaker 1:Here's this other thing yeah, it was interesting, so I feel like her hour as a couple.
Speaker 3:Our entrance into deconstruction was probably started with her because she was the one to go okay, whatever this is, it's not working. Like this thing that I picked up from my parents, this thing about marriage, this cookie cutter, whatever. Just everything's fine, everything is not fine. And I like she was on like the, the stuff that the church might think of new as new. She was on that stuff way before. It was cool, yeah, and I was watching it and her going. Well, she feels more now. I like that.
Speaker 3:And you know, this looks good on her.
Speaker 1:Taking apart some things that were taught to us by people and by churches that might not be right is a good thing, and I feel like that's where even the word deconstruction started from. It's like that's okay and that's good to do. It's just like it just snowballed for a lot of people. You know what I mean. It's like people couldn't just be like oh well, like here's some unhealthy things that were taught to me. Let me pick those out and find God in the midst of it.
Speaker 1:It was just like, oh, I have to then snowball, for example, even with the Bible stuff. It's like I heard someone mention that a lot of people, especially right now in the evangelical or Reformed camps, are very much like. The Trinity is viewed as like Jesus, god and the Bible. It's very like that, it is for sure, and it's like we negate the Holy Spirit so much in Scripture, and Scripture is of course so important, yes, and vital, and we don't do away with it.
Speaker 1:That's not the answer which a lot of people are doing, but they want to just toss it out. It's like, well, that's not the answer. But also, like you know, taking a break, like the fact that that shook me to my core, like how dare you? You know what I mean. Like, okay, like me, like taking a breather for a month to reset with the lord, because my prayer life was struggling, because I was not talking to the holy spirit at all yeah because I was so just like, must read scripture, you know, like, and I was so like, blinded by that, that I was not communicating with god's spirit inside of me, like.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. Like, like it's a balance. It's like and then I had to refine that, and then it's like refining the balance and that's a good thing, you know I think a lot of us really like the Bible because it gives us a sense of control. Yeah.
Speaker 3:And you read it and you find stuff in it that's beautiful, but it also it's kind of it has some formula to it, depending on which part you look at. And I mean, I think that it's not part of the Trinity.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 3:But one thing I want to say is, like the three of us, it seems like we have something in common in that there were things about our faith that was given to us that we felt like it was time to lay down. But there was also a lot of good. I see people on a weekly basis where it may have had the Christian title on it, but it was. I mean the stuff that was done to these people in the name of God like literal beatings and for them they might have to blow it up.
Speaker 1:I mean for a little bit.
Speaker 3:They might not be able to tease out like a thread to keep because, there's just. It's just man. When you're abusing other people, in the name of God, it's really hard to come back from that.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And I know I'm talking about extreme cases, but like sometimes like their parents have to die, Like they, you know it takes like generational stuff where they can finally go. Ok, maybe I can return to this thing, yeah, and I just feel like God there's grace for that, God knows.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 3:And I it just.
Speaker 2:And that grieves God's heart, in my opinion, and that's not what he's about. That's not what God's about.
Speaker 3:Yeah, people walking away from their faith. For a minute. For some reason it just doesn't scare me, and maybe that's why it's good that I do this work. It doesn't make me go, but wait, hang on. It's why it's good that I do this work. It doesn't make me go, but wait, hang on. You're, you know, I just am like I, I trust you with your journey. I'm here to help. But I, you know, all in all of my training in spiritual direction, they always told us God is the spiritual director, he's the shepherd. All I can do is speak into it, you know. And when I start giving my opinion is when I get sort of in trouble. It's more like oh well, let's pay attention. See, you know, I just go. Well, that's worth paying attention to. That looks right.
Speaker 2:What if it's not that Like? What if you have a person who is out there?
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And just trying to find everything wrong. Yeah, yeah, and just trying to find everything wrong.
Speaker 3:Yeah, well, I've, I mean I've said before yeah, that you know, I've said that doesn't sound like God to me.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Like you know there are people that want permission to experiment with certain stuff and I go well, you know you're allowed to do any of it. But that doesn't feel like it's. It doesn't historically, it doesn't seem like it's where people find God. You know if you need to go there to find yourself. You know some people need to do that, but that I mean I have said that to people like this this doesn't feel like it's going to be healthy.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3:I don't know, I mean, there are some things I don't, some mistakes we don't have to make to know that they're not going to turn out well.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 3:But you know some people don't want to hear that and that's where I go. Okay, you know, I'm still here with you, you know. I have no judgment, but I don't think you're going to find God there.
Speaker 2:I mean, I have a friend who was in a Bible study and then that Bible study grew into a home church and that home church grew into a cult, like a full-blown, 100% cult, and she had lots of spiritual abuse and she's walked away from all of it.
Speaker 3:She's like I can't, it's too hurtful.
Speaker 2:I just can't. I mean, and she even can say, and she'll say I'm, I'm okay with jesus, jesus and I are okay with each other, but I can't, I can't, I can't do it yeah, I, I I think I know who you're talking about and I get it.
Speaker 3:I mean, I wasn't my experience, but I've experienced people like that. And there are some people I'm like, okay, you know what, like, whatever, god bless them, but I don't want to be around for it. You know, I, I can't like, I just I can't.
Speaker 1:What do you mean?
Speaker 3:Well, I can see someone being like that with God, because I can be like that with a person.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:And you know, if their whole spiritual system was tied up into this thing, that ended up imploding. Here's the thing I will say about that, and this is one thing I've told Shayla. You've heard me say this before. There are some things, there are some principles in spirit that just are, and the understanding of God is an expanding reality. The kingdom grows, and if something is shrinking in on itself, buckle up, yeah like.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's shrunken down around this one leader. Yeah and I go.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's not healthy, bail out Because that is not the way God's kingdom works. Right, right. Because that is not the way, god's kingdom works Right, right, like God's wave of justice rolls outward, god's river of grace rolls outward. I mean it's all just expanding.
Speaker 2:And moving. That almost gives you a picture of stagnation. Oh, totally, it's just stagnant around this one little pond, this little mud puddle.
Speaker 3:Standing water isn't healthy.
Speaker 1:No, but that's the issue with the whole model of the Western church. Is that we build it around? Yes, usually a man? Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like anything, a personality, I mean I know churches that are built around women.
Speaker 3:Yeah, a couple, but the majority is when they fail. That's why it brings so many people down with them because, they've built it around the person and not around usually god it can also be, you know, it can be the guy that becomes the idol, and it can also be a couple, and it can also be a system it can be a family like it's the.
Speaker 3:I'm sorry, babe, but I'm launching into this, but it's interesting to me. The first two commandments of the Ten Commandments is you have no God except me, okay, and don't make yourself an idol. So you can have God and still have an idol, and you start to bring in a third party anytime, like in a marriage.
Speaker 2:Oh, I see what you're saying. Like they can be separate, they can, you can have this great marriage, but you bring in a marriage thing like they're too separate.
Speaker 3:They can be separate, they can, you can you can have this great marriage but you bring in a third party. You're still married, but and so when you, it can be a system, it can be a family, it can be like you know I, I mean, I see it, you know my. My area of study is narcissism. But that, but narcissists don't allow another party, like it's me or it's anybody else, and they often become the third party between you and God, like, oh yeah, I love this thing you have with God, but make sure it's through, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm the spiritual leader.
Speaker 1:It checks out through me.
Speaker 3:You know, let's not. You know, let's be careful.
Speaker 2:I've heard that one before. Let's be careful. I've heard that one, so not to bring it back down to Charlie Kirk again, but I feel like what you're saying about the expanding, it was about him, but I feel like he was always trying to deflect it. Do you agree?
Speaker 3:Well, yeah, and it seems to me like if what we're seeing is right. I mean Charlie, he felt like he was right and, I think, a person who's going to.
Speaker 2:You have to.
Speaker 3:But there was a flow. I mean there was a dialogue. He wouldn't have liked for Jimmy Kimmel to be canceled arguably he would not.
Speaker 2:I agree to be canceled arguably.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean no, he would not Like he. And I mean, just in listening to some of the mentors that he's had, it seems like his faith was growing and he, you know, we know a lot more when we're in our 20s. You know I was a way better parent before I had kids and then, so I think we have to. Who knows what he would have been like in his 40s?
Speaker 2:You know, we don't get to know. It's so interesting though You've heard I think somebody even talked about it at his memorial service about when he was shot at what is it? 1223? Yeah, and then he died. And it's if I be lifted up, john 1223 is. If I be lifted up, I will draw all men to me. And then 1224 is, unless a seed falls to the ground and dies, because then that's what causes the expansion it causes.
Speaker 3:So it's so interesting.
Speaker 2:But I mean, I don't know, but I feel like we're seeing that happen.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean it's definitely expanding. It's like a bomb was dropped and it is. You know, it's like a ripple effect.
Speaker 1:It really is. There's a huge revival. Yeah, I feel like it starts with decrease though.
Speaker 2:I mean you and I when we first started working together.
Speaker 3:I mean, I was saying stuff like well, maybe don't do less of that.
Speaker 1:Or you know what?
Speaker 2:Maybe just pray this Like it starts with subtraction, do less of that, or you know what. Maybe just pray this, just bring it down.
Speaker 3:It starts with subtraction and we think let's start with addition.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we need more voices. Yeah.
Speaker 3:How about less? I mean in the music business. What do they always tell us? Less, shorten your song, shorten your show which, by the way, I've told you this before but the honest Jesus music, I think. I think it can tour, because it doesn't matter if the artist like if you get three other writers and you jump in a car and you go, the hits aren't what's going to bring the people.
Speaker 2:Right, the honesty and the stories.
Speaker 3:It's the story. So it's like you don't have to have this big mechanic mechanics thing behind it.
Speaker 2:It almost would be inauthentic to the message of what you're doing to have a big production Right.
Speaker 1:Right, and I think especially because other cities don't do the writer's round thing often like. Nashville. It's kind of like well, it's a writer's round, you know what I'm saying, Right, but like other cities are like what do you mean? Like you're sharing stories behind your song. You know what I mean? Like I feel like it's more of an exciting thing.
Speaker 3:I mean you would I told you this you'd have to be at all of them, but the cast of characters you bring wouldn't have to be.
Speaker 1:That's kind of cool friends. It's like, okay, we're doing what also love it, like to partner with, like local right, like writers and cities.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it'd be hard to figure out, it'd be you'd have to really vet them and figure out their hear their song first, because but I think, yeah, I think you don't know what you're gonna get churches would be awesome just yeah like for church to host, uh honest jesus music night and I think people would come just to go. What are we, we doing yeah, but it's not. It's sad Jesus music. Is it sad, jesus music?
Speaker 1:No, it changed we called the round honest, just to like make it more broad.
Speaker 2:I think I like honest better.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sad, sounds like there's no hope I know that's the thing People were confused by. That Sad is more like it was a play. It was actually Chad my producer and I were joking because when we were like we'd even just do my worship music, he would call me like sad Jesus music, like sad girl, because that's like a whole genre of music. And he was like, yeah, you're like worship sad girl music. And I was like I am.
Speaker 2:And then real I like, I like honest jesus music yeah yeah, I mean not that I didn't like that, I would host one of those here yeah, like we just have 30 40 people in here and just see what you know it's kind of see what happens.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, I would love that yeah, well, we could do it at meredith's oh yeah, meredith's would be great were you at hutch's birthday party at meredith's?
Speaker 2:yeah? Yeah, that was fun I know we've talked about trying to do Friday night music club at Meredith. We do a thing called Friday. I mean you know you've been to it, but they don't know.
Speaker 1:I know I want to do another one, cause it's so life giving and fun we need to do?
Speaker 2:Oh, I'll check it.
Speaker 3:We need to do another one. Well, I disrupt your podcast.
Speaker 2:Well, it doesn't matter, I know he's listening anymore anyway.
Speaker 3:You got it 90 minutes.
Speaker 1:Edit me out being here anyways, holy crap.
Speaker 2:We're at 90 minutes.
Speaker 3:Look most podcasts are between an hour and two hours.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, joe Rogan's all afternoon.
Speaker 1:I know, but that's Joe Rogan. Listen, though I tune in for all of Joe Rogan's.
Speaker 3:Do you?
Speaker 1:And I've heard sometimes with y'all's podcast, which this is biased, because I'm on this one, but I always will be like, when y'all are like we've got to wrap this up, I'm always like, do you?
Speaker 2:Aw yeah.
Speaker 1:Thanks, because I like y'all and most people that listen like y'all, so like.
Speaker 3:You've got to do a good rhythm there interviewing her. You need to do more of that. I love planning to. Yeah, oh, how to find me? How do?
Speaker 2:people find you and get a hold of your music. Find me on the interwebs.
Speaker 1:It's at Shaylee Simeone Music. Can you spell Simeone?
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:S-H-A-Y-L-E-E, s-i-m-e-o-n-e, but with an I. Oh well, it's that easy way to remember, I know. Is it Is it Sounds very confusing. I don't know. Shaylee Simeon Music is where I'm at.
Speaker 2:And yeah, and you know what, maybe we can get Drew, because Drew still produces this. Still produces very loosely, but maybe we can actually get him to do a show note.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:That would be fun Okay.
Speaker 3:Your Instagram account is now the gospel the gospel, according to Jennifer, so we could link.
Speaker 2:So long.
Speaker 3:We could link that.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm just still very upset that we did not fully discuss the Summer. I Turned Pretty okay.
Speaker 2:Holy freaking crap.
Speaker 1:I totally forgot that is the whole reason I was here and I feel lied to and bamboozled by the Diblers.
Speaker 3:Maybe we should have her as a recurring guest host.
Speaker 2:Here's what I think. Let's end this and maybe we'll do a little bonus episode about the summer.
Speaker 3:I turned pretty Okay, and then we can post it, just do like a little 15 minute Just a little baby one.
Speaker 1:Okay, we need to do that. Let's do that, because I have to talk about cooking.
Speaker 2:Okay, so what, I'll link to you, tag me, and then where's your music?
Speaker 1:It is on all the streaming platforms Spotify, apple Music and it's called YouTube.
Speaker 2:Shayla, simeone, simeone, simeone, and you're married to a dentist. You're so lucky.
Speaker 1:Ryan O'Neill. He's really cute. He'll fix your teeth, I know.
Speaker 2:I want him to fix my teeth, but I don't have teeth budget. Well, we talked about it Just be nice to him when you guys were over the other day. I'm like, okay, ryan, listen, talk to me.
Speaker 1:He likes you guys, he'll probably give you a deal.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Just have him. He doesn't like us that much.
Speaker 2:Well, just have him be a guest, Just be like we do this trade skis. Can we please get like free dental care?
Speaker 1:do you know how much he loves a good trade. Like every person we've ever done business with, he's always like can I trade you for dental work? What can I barter for dental work?
Speaker 2:seriously just figure out a barter. There's nothing, I got nothing. You have things. No, I don't.
Speaker 1:I've got nothing you have to just gather things around your house and be like would you like some throat pillows?
Speaker 2:Can I interest you in some guitars.
Speaker 1:You'll find something. I believe in you. I have a dog.
Speaker 2:Oh God, Please no, a dog and two chickens.
Speaker 1:Please, no, I do not need any more live animals or things it's like a dowry. No more live small things in my house.
Speaker 2:More heartbeats for you. We. We lost jeremy. He's gone. He lost him. He's peeing. Oh, he's peeing. I'm surprised we don't hear it because you know you've been here before and the bathroom is. You probably saw him go in it. It's close and I don't like it. It's close and very loud. Usually it's like and boys pee, so loud so loud, they're so far away from the toilet anyway gravity hutch. Are you leaving? Okay, bus calls at 5 30. Oh, I know I was gonna oh are you well?
Speaker 2:don't leave before you hug me all right. Well, thanks for tuning in, thanks for having me. Guys, this is fun, this is a dream coming and we're gonna talk about. We're coming back with a bonus episode okay, get ready a bony ass episode. Oh hey, like subscribe right.
Speaker 3:Follow, isn't?
Speaker 2:that what I'm supposed to say?
Speaker 3:Yeah, please do, yeah, Just do your bonus episode on the thing what? Because people are no like, we'll crop it. Do like a bonus 30 minutes or 15 minutes.
Speaker 2:You're to end here or you can continue on. If you're interested, well, hang on. No, we need to pause because I got to say about a hutch wait, I think it would be better for gospel according to jennifer and jeremy sean deibler because of our family.
Speaker 3:I think we should cut it and then she should just come back and be a recurring guest and we'll talk about tv I realize, but we need to talk about this but this is important because it's just aired.
Speaker 1:Sadie needs to sit in but we want to talk about jeremiah and his cooking adventures and how much it does not make sadie the cacao bean and the rose raspberry.
Speaker 2:Whatever, it is all right thank you.
Speaker 1:We need to talk about how his arc does not make sense.
Speaker 2:It makes zero sense. All All right, see you next time.