EP. 86 "I'm Just Gonna Drug Myself"

NSFW

Cindy and Kristen talk about Spiderman, Cindy has a new word of the week, and the girls talk about past inventors and what their networth would've been today.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

I didn't even have a good one. Why can't I hear me? I hear myself.

unknown 0:03

Can I hear yourself?

SPEAKER_01 0:05

Can you hear me now? Oh yeah, that's Chris. Yeah. Baby. Wow. That's a little too. I can let you go. Cause you are a hoe. Oh. My hoe.

SPEAKER_02 0:20

Doesn't every man that's in love want his girl to be his hoe? No. Is hoe a bad thing? If it can be a take and a two. She's a big one.

SPEAKER_01 0:30

What's up, hoe? I like honey bunny.

SPEAKER_02 0:33

Hi, honey bunny.

unknown 0:35

Oh god.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

Hey pit, hey pit, hey bitch. What's up, guys? It's Kristen and Cindy. And you're listening to a pot about it all. We're gonna pot about it all. Thank you for joining us today. Oh. How are we? Welcome back. Yeah. And welcome if you are new. We'd love new. And we love new countries. We love new and are tried and true. Period. Yeah. Okay, what? I saw new countries are joining us. Tokyo. Oh, I'm coming to visit you, Tokyo. And I want to go too. Yeah. But we're scared of the flight. I know, but we're just gonna do it. I'm gonna just drug myself. And I'm gonna fly at night and I'm gonna wake up and we're gonna be there. Because my friend gave me the best tip. She said that take a pill. No, she take a pill, bitch, number one. Number two, she says go when it's their time. So if they're gonna be sleeping, fly when they're gonna, you know. Oh, that's a great idea. Yeah, like put yourself on their like nighttime or whatever. So they're like a day ahead of us. Right. So it's the future like. I know. Glorious. So basically, so that was a great idea what she said. Quite yeah, and I'm going to Tokyo Disney. I don't care. Me too. I want to do everything cool. Like at three in the morning, I want to go to a vending machine and get ramen. Oh yeah. Absolutely. And I want to get the um puffy sandwich. I don't know. What is it? Creamy sandwich. We've had it in Hawaii, but they have a bunch of different ones. Like, cause the only ones they had was strawberry. Ooh, we get to go have one in four more weeks. We're going to our favorite spot. Apparently there's a place here that has them at 7-Eleven, but it's only a specific one. Anyways. So let's catch you guys up on our week. Our past few weeks. I started a new job, so I've been waking up at 5 45 a.m. when you guys know. Literally, the sun is coming up. I'm in bed when the sun is going down, and I'm waking up when the sun is coming up. But it's so much better because you get up earlier now. Like we literally left the house at 9.15 this morning and we just got back at 4 because we were doing stuff. And let me just say, I can't sleep in anymore either. That's wonderful. Well, because you're wet red wetty. You're ready to wake up and start the day. Like you should. But like there was one day at work because I'm doing nine hour day nine hour four days a week. And like when it's like three, two, three o'clock, I'm tapped the fuck out. I'm done for that. That's your afternoon. That's my afternoon slump. Yeah. And let me tell oh my god, you guys, they have a soda machine free. On tap. I know that's what I'm talking about. Every day on tap. That's my beer I've discovered. And that's a money saver because you like that shit. I do. I'm ups. I have like an issue. It wakes you up. I love a fountain soda. I just love it. I have to have it. I know. You're like addicted to it. I know. Shit, this bitch makes me go through a McDonald's drive-thru just for a fucking fountain soda. Yeah, I mean, I can't help it. I just love it. Anyways. What was I saying about that? Oh, there was a day where I was literally nodding off and I could not I could not. I gotta pack some gum. Yeah. You have about a 20 pack of gum somewhere around here. Oh my god, how embarrassing. I knew. Because your eyes, how embarrassing. And then there was another day. Well, didn't you tell them, look, I'm just trying to get used to this. Yeah, they know. I told them all I was working nights before. So, anyways, um and then there's like this door, you can only come out of it. And I didn't know. And so I tried to go in it, and then I was like, Can you not go through this door? And this group of girls, they were kind of rude. They were like, No, you gotta go around. And I was like, Oh, I'm fucking new, bitch. I didn't know. You should when you saw me headed for the door, you should have said, Oh, hey, you can't go through that way. Yeah, they just wanted to see what you were doing. Yeah. And then I came out of it the other day and I tr almost tripped and a shit. It was so embarrassing. Damn. But anyways, other than that, at least I didn't fall. No. So thank God. I know. It's weird. I'm like, oh fuck. But I haven't broke nothing, so that's good. Yeah. I just came off two weeks of working fucking 60 hours a week. Ugh. Is that right? 40? No, that's a lie. Well, I've been working hour time, so my days were like 10 hour days for two weeks straight. I just spoke to it. And a six day straight.

SPEAKER_02 5:08

And that fucking wears you you out. I'm hoping my checks are.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

Yeah, but nobody gives a fuck about all this. Anyway. Um we saw Spider-Man, Spider God. We saw Spider-Man last night. And my friend was telling me that it's like sold out everywhere. There's like no seats. Really? Yeah. So she got lucky. But it was so good. Oh, I was I would see it again because I want to watch it again for real. I would.

SPEAKER_02 5:34

And I loved all the just everything about it.

SPEAKER_01 5:37

And we went to this movie theater where they serve you at your seat, like bring you popcorn and everything.

SPEAKER_02 5:42

And we had a hot fudge brownie sunlight. I went into cardiac arrest. I didn't feel good after it. Yeah, it was good though.

SPEAKER_01 5:47

It was so good.

SPEAKER_02 5:48

Yeah, they had really dinner meal and this is very good popcorn.

SPEAKER_01 5:52

Very good. Cindy had to bring it home and it's not even good anymore. It's all stale in the show. Movie theater popcorn you can eat anytime. Anytime. But yeah, that was a good movie. Highly recommended. Highly recommend. And then the weekend before that, I made everybody watch um the one before it. Oh yeah. No Way Home. Mm-hmm. And then I went through the whole chronological order. So, Cindy, for the millionth time, what are you watching next? Thor. Thor what? Um Thor, my man. Come to me, Thor. Oh. Ha ha. He looks fucking good, dude. I love Thor. Thor Lovin' Thunder. I'm okay that he shaved his head. It's fine. He still looks good. Delicious. Yeah. Absolutely a dessert. Um I was watching, I keep watching because just because you know Spider-Man's popular right now. I keep like kept scrolling and then I'll see like interviews with Tom Holland and stuff. And um, and he like literally manifested everything that's happened to him. Oh, good for him. It's so crazy. He's like, Yeah, I would love to play Spider-Man one day when he was like younger. And then he plays Spider-Man, and then he's like, and I would love to wa with um Jake Jen and Hall. He works for Jake Jen. Oh my gosh. How did he do it? Oh, I know. I mean, like, I need to sit and talk with him and figure out because you know who said that exact same thing? Was Jennifer Aniston. She said she manifests everything too. How do you do that? I know. You because you're supposed to feel it and believe that you already have it. But I feel like I do that. See, that's why we need that camera.

SPEAKER_02 7:17

This bitch over here loves to spend my motherfucking money if vacations aren't enough.

SPEAKER_01 7:24

But we will get it. Because I think we need to vlog. And I think we need to be on YouTube. Exactly. So you can see my lovely face. I mean, you could see us on Instagram and TikTok.

SPEAKER_02 7:36

That's true, but you can see the dirty looks I give this bitch when she's talking nonsense.

SPEAKER_01 7:41

Yeah, so we did that. Yeah. And you need to watch Black Panther too because that's going to be very significant. Yes, I do. Before Avengers, and I need to watch Fantastic Four. And apparently The Punisher. If you haven't seen The Punisher, then you gotta watch it before you watch Spider-Man. Mm-hmm. Luckily, I knew who he was already, but like I never watched the series or the movie. And the whole funniest fucking thing is I was sitting in the middle, Kristen on one side, and then my niece, her cousin on the other side. And she was telling me stuff in my ear, and I wasn't telling Kristen. And then Kristen was telling me something to tell Serena. I just sat there and enjoyed my motherfucking self. Because if you couldn't talk through my ear to the other ear and she could hear it, then it wasn't happening. I was trying to use my ears like the can, you know, when you hold put your mouth to the can and you can hear it through the walls. I'm like, if you can't hear it, too bad, bitch. Um, what else had happened? Um, I made an eggplant parm. It wasn't my best work, but like I get off at 12 on Fridays now, and like I really want to make good home cooked meals. I didn't this last Friday. I was starving and I went to Taco Bell. Uh and it wasn't good for once. That means you're not supposed to be eating that shit no more. We're going on vacation. I know. So I'm going on I'm starting my diet on Monday. Well, tonight. Yeah. After this wine. Um yeah, I made an eggplant perm. It was okay. It wasn't my best work, but we found a new sushi spot, remember?

SPEAKER_02 9:08

Yes. And that was good.

SPEAKER_01 9:10

It was a hole in the wall, sushi spot. It was so very excellent service. Very exciting. And a very nice gentleman. We've been having a good service around you. I thought he was cute. Because the guy at the movie theater that waited on us was so sweet and nice too. Yeah. Um, and then what else? What else? We got our tanning membership back, so we're back in the bed. Back in the tanning. And they have a lot of nice spa stuff. Like it's an upgrade of where we were at. I'm gonna go on the trim pod because I need to trim this fucking out. We need to do that tomorrow. We need to tan and do that. Are they gonna let us do both things in one day? Yeah, she can do whatever you want in one day.

SPEAKER_02 9:44

Oh, and they actually have this salt chamber. I don't know what the fuck it is. But it looks like a sauna. You sit in it, but it actually releases like um pharmaceutical grade sea salt. Yeah. So it's good for your skin, but basically what it does is clear your lungs out. Like it makes sure you breathe nice and clear out anything in your lungs.

SPEAKER_01 10:03

Yeah. Maybe we do 10 minutes, 10 minutes, and 10 minutes. Oh, we're gonna do it all, bitch. I'll get my money's worth. Um we've been watching Big Brother. Big Brother! And it's so good. Yeah. I think it's a good season. Oh, like off the bat.

SPEAKER_00 10:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:19

And okay, spoiler alert, spoiler alert. I wish that Jason would have stayed.

unknown 10:24

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 10:25

Honestly. He was like so entertaining. He was gonna he was giving giving the most. Yeah. But you know what? He thought he was But everybody's a fucking puss. Why wouldn't you get on? But the one thing you gotta do is either keep to yourself for a minute in the beginning or just stick with one group for a minute. Because one girl's just been floating on by. I don't know if you've noticed. Who? Um Taylor? Yes. She's literally just floating on through that shit. But she's smart, she ain't dumb. Yeah. Because at the end of it, she's gonna pull it all out, win everything, and probably win Big Brother. Shoot. Um, but yeah, hey, you ever heard of the circle on Netflix? Uh yeah, we used to watch it all the time. Yeah. Oh my god, people, they're uh casting right now. Oh, I really saw it on TikTok and they said um that they're looking for people for the circle. I thought you'd be perfect for that. I forgot to tell you because I thought you should do it. Like here in Sacramento? I don't know. You have to just go and apply for it. I think you'd be good on the circle, girl. I'd be vlogging that shit every day. Seeing what you're doing up in there. Um, the next part of the Oh, if you did go on the circle though, would you be yourself or someone else? No, I'd be myself. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:34

I was just curious.

SPEAKER_01 11:35

Would you be me?

SPEAKER_02 11:36

Um god, I couldn't.

SPEAKER_01 11:39

What would I do? Um but it's kind of fun because you could be someone different, but I'm not a boy. Like, I mean, I couldn't like you know, some of them could be like a man. Like that one girl she would pretend to be her man or something. Yeah. Oh, right. She did hella good. Yes. She knew all the sports answers and yes. So I just couldn't do that because I'm a girl's girl. I just couldn't do it. Yeah, I would just be myself. Yeah. Um, I wonder if I could be you though. I'm sure. Hmm. That's quite a thought. Cause like I'm just saying. Well, if they will let a mother and daughter on there though, like they had before. We should do that.

SPEAKER_02 12:15

Oh my god, let's apply. Yeah. Oh yeah. That's what we're gonna do.

SPEAKER_01 12:20

Manifest it. I know. Because I have plenty of PTO, bitch. I'll fucking take that shit and I'll go on disability if I'm just kidding. Um, and then also today I got a Barnes and Noble membership. Barnes Noble's since we're there all the time. I know I call it Barnes and Nobles.

SPEAKER_02 12:36

I know, because now she can buy us gifts and get a discount.

SPEAKER_01 12:39

I get a discount on Legos, bitch.

SPEAKER_02 12:41

Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_01 12:42

We already know. Yeah. So yeah. I've been reading a lot. I've just been almost finished with this 5,000 page fucking book that took 300 pages for some shit to finally fucking happen. Recommendation. Yeah, I'll recommend some books for you guys. So far, I recommend. Because she likes spicy, so I'm sure you're like, I love a spice book, bitch. I get little spicy spices. I gotta say, I gotta like, I really never mind. Maybe I shouldn't say that with you in here. Yeah, I am your mother. I don't want to be grossed out. But just now, I need a five spicy chili. There was this one book that I read that I've got. You and your cousins are alike. You like that top-notch five spice heat. Raunchy shit. Yeah. Exactly. I see it in all your faces. I already know. There's this one book that is the most raunchiest book I've ever read, and I let my cousin borrow it. I don't know if she ever finished it, but it was like real. I don't know. I can't remember if she said she finished it. I brought it to Hawaii the first time we went. And people walking by are like just well, they read the and they're like, damn, this bit is really. If you know, you know. Exactly. Well, you they read it all the time. It's about this girl, and she her parents die, and she moves in with her step-uncle in his face.

SPEAKER_02 13:59

Oh no.

SPEAKER_01 14:00

And she bangs every one of them. Oh God.

SPEAKER_02 14:03

Insane.

SPEAKER_01 14:04

Well, how's that nice? It was good. It was called it's called Credence.

SPEAKER_02 14:08

It's called Bangin' the Family.

SPEAKER_01 14:10

Yeah. Anyways. Anyhow. Um, I really liked picking Daisy. A family bang bang. Ew. I liked picking daisies on Sundays. I have to finish reading the I read that book in like two days. Yeah, you did. And she loved it. She's like, Mom, you gotta read it. It's so good. It's just cutesy, it's not really Roncha. Well, I like the title though. I love a daisy. It's not spicy at all. But I loved it. And the next one I never finished it because I got bored. I ate that. Yeah, I should know. Anyways. Anywho, people. Oh, is anybody watching that one show that you refused to watch at first and now you liked it on Amazon? What was it called? Um, the summer. They're the second season's coming out. Already? No, it's not. No, like they're doing it. Yeah. So basically what's gonna happen is we're gonna get the second off-campus. Yes. What's that? It's gonna be a good one. You know, comes through for a bit, then they're gonna do it. Okay, off campus is giving like vibes of the book that I'm reading right now, but it's based in the Bay Area. He's a football fan. Oh, really? San Francisco 49s? Well, they're not the 49s. Oh, but in the Bay Area.

SPEAKER_02 15:16

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 15:16

And she's a zookeeper for the Fleming. Oh, how cute! It's actually it's good. I'm just being it's a slow burn and I can't say that. Should have read 550 pages and now Yeah. Yeah. And then I just bought the second book to it, so I mean it wasn't that bad. I mean, I still have like a good 50 pages. No, I got like a hundred pages left. Oh, it does it's get better and it makes it worth reading. Well, I'm excited for your discount because me and your whole family's gonna use it. You can get your cut your cousins some books, plus you can get cute little gifts for people. I know. That's very cute. And then we like the cafe sometimes, so you get a discount in there. And I'll be going up in that Starbucks. And I will say you did get a very cute um case. Oh, toe. I got a tote with my purchase, my membership. Which is basically what you paid for. I know. Good thing I asked. I didn't know they had a free membership though, and you just earn rewards. Yeah. But no, bitch, I want a discount every time. The fuck. I know. Because you spend that much on books, anyways, if you think about it. Anyways, nobody cares. Yeah. And also, today I went to church. It was Oh, and I loved it. It was absolutely wonderful, marvelous. Yeah, it was very good. I'll go again. And you're gonna have the best week of your life. Trust me. Go to church if we can. I think it's God's calling you. He sees what the fuck you bitches are doing. One better day a week on Sunday. Yeah, that's what I told myself. I said, God's with me every day, so I can at least go, you know, for an hour every Sunday or whatever. Blessed for your whole week and your life. And you better get right with Jesus because he sees what you bitches be doing out there. Anyway. Amen. Okay, what do you got? Well, let's see what I got today. What kind of tid biddies? Tiddy bitty bitty. Those little things you put on your nipples. What are those? Those little patties. Oh, my cakes. Yeah. Sponsored. Um they're called tit patties. They're cakes. I know, but that's good because then you don't have to wear a bra. And your nips don't poke through. Serena took her shirt off. I know, it scared me. I was like, because um Kristen had given her some covers to try. And it just caught me off guard because it wasn't really. We don't give a fuck. We just walk around naked all the time. Yeah, because I didn't want you to be ashamed of your body. So I always walked around naked. Because I was like naked, naked. Because when I was a young child back in the day, though, so maybe that's just how it was back then. Because you figure when I was growing up in the 70s, but I always felt like um, well, I just know like my mom was like, Don't let you know, like if I went in a room and she was changing, get out of here, you know what I mean? And I don't know, it just always made me feel shameful. Like I felt like, ooh, and I'm like, I will never ever let my daughter be ashamed of her body. No, I know. Like, you shouldn't worry about it. We're all women, we don't give a fuck. And you flaunt your titties, flaunt that cooter. We walked around everywhere and share that. Shake that monkey. And whatever, but nobody cares. We're all women, like you should never be ashamed of your body. I don't care if you're skinny, just right, big booty, big I don't give a fuck what you look like. Because everybody's beautiful in their own way. You said today you were we were crossing the street and they said they don't stop for fat people.

SPEAKER_02 18:23

Those motherfuckers run you over, they don't care. And I'm like, fuck you, bitch. I'll fucking break your car with my ass.

SPEAKER_01 18:29

Yeah, but if he no, but you they couldn't see you next to me. They could. But do you imagine if a car ran into me, I'd probably dent their fucking fender, bitch. You're already known. I'll be like, that's what you can do. I know every time. But it's okay. I I'm I'm I'm I'm a big toned girl, don't you think? Yeah, you're big boned. But I'm toned. I'm not really well no. Well, I'm getting older. Fuck it. I got me some fit boots. I'm bouncing around this whole fucking neighborhood. You'll see that you saw that video on our Instagram and TikTok. It's on both. Go check it out. Still doing it, so. And everybody's commenting. Oh, anyway, so what do I have? Because everybody loves it. I don't know if I've said things or not, so you have to tell me, but oh, the word of the week. I need a jingle. I want a jingle for the word of the week. I gotta work on that. Because I like to sing. Cindy's word of the week. Word of the week. Cindy, Cindy, Cindy, Cindy, Cindy. Did we play that episode with the cowboy? Cowboy on the farm. Cowboy on the farm. It's a cowboy, cowboy on a cowboy. Wrestle the cowboy on the farm. Nice wrestle of a good cowboy on the farm.

SPEAKER_02 19:37

I'll let him fucking hog tie my ass. Just kidding.

SPEAKER_01 19:43

Sorry. Oh my god. You know what? We went to this this guy who owns a winery was at our um what's it called? Farmer's market. Yeah. And so he had a nice shark. I know. He had a nice shark because they're very full of energy. Anyway, so he had a nice um Chardonnay that he made into a champs. It's so good. It's fucking called bliss. It's 555. It's called bliss. And I felt blissful after one cup. So thank you, Sabrina. I enjoyed it thoroughly. Oh no, it's happiness in a glass. And this is called bliss. Yeah. Oh, okay. Go on. That my niece gave me. Thank you so much. Yeah. Okay, so word of the week. Word of it's called smotherfuckery, bitch. Smotherfuckery. What do you think that means? I thought it had a good ring to it. I like a good fuckery. Smother? Smotherfuckery. Doesn't that just sound nice? Because I like to put a little something, something on it. Um are you sure? Okay, so it's aggressively shutting down bullshit. You're aggressively shutting down some bullshit before it spreads.

SPEAKER_02 20:56

It's a swift intervention when someone is talking absolute fucking bullshit. So it's smotherfuckery. And they need to be stopped in their tracks before the nonsense becomes everyone's motherfucking problem. So don't smotherfuckery me, bitch. I don't need it. You gotta intervent before it gets too far. Because you already know they're full of shit, so you need to shut the fuck up.

SPEAKER_01 21:28

Smotherfuckery. Use it, people. It's a nice one. Smotherfuck. Smotherfuckers. Smells like smell the fuck. Smell the fuck.

SPEAKER_02 21:38

Don't fucking smotherfuckery me, man. Because that'll be the last thing you motherfucking do.

SPEAKER_01 21:44

It ain't gonna happen. It ain't gonna happen. Why do we get a little aggressive when we drink? We're getting a vlog camera, right? Oh yes, people. And so cause we want to make vlogs, right? And the holidays are coming. And that's why we need it so we can vlog our Disney trip for Christmas.

SPEAKER_02 21:58

Um girl, we're going to Vegas. Bitch.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

And Disney for the biggest. I don't know how we're going to do it all, but the Lord. The Lord will let us if it's hearts. Well, we're going to vlog our Hawaii trip. So we can see Alani. And I'm so excited because our bestie and our um bestie niece and um we're going to where? Vegas. Oh. Oh no, yeah, that too. Okay, but I was gonna say. You need to cut that.

unknown 22:26

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 22:28

I was gonna say. No, you made me forget. See what happens when you cut me off? Oh travel. I was looking for Backstreet Boy tickets. And of course they're not there the weekend we will be there. Uh course. Yeah, they will be there the weekend. Uh yeah. Damn. At the sphere. So my little um cousin is turning 21, so the whole family's going to Vegas. And that's November. So we have to go because we just do. And um Yeah, we wanted to go see the Mac stream. Damn it. But I will go to this. Is it the sphere where they have the um movie? We're playing Wizard of Oz. Whoopdiddy fucking do. I want to watch Backstreet Boys. Bad. And I would see Harry Potter if they did that. Oh god, if they had Harry Potter. How cool. Oh my god. That would be sold out like years in advance. Oh, for sure. Anyways. Anyways. Yeah, so we're gonna get a vlogging camera. Stay away. And we're gonna actually put our podcast on the YouTube so you can see us. No, I'm just kidding. Anyways, so I want you to tell me, and you need to do your best guess. Okay. How many um, how many, um, how many, um, how many um happens when you get older. How much popcorn do Americans consume each year? Popcorn bitch. Speaking of the movies, um 2.5 tons. Let's get real. Tons is a lot. Okay, two point five billion. Well, at least you're in the right category. Billion? Yeah. One billion. Is that your final? What's your final is it by kernel one popcorn? No, it's just how much do Americans consume popcorn anyway. Okay, but just think about it though, too, because popcorn consists of caramel corn, the fruity popcorn that we used to get at Disney all the time. I love that shit. No, no, no. You know in Disney when I used to get that popcorn and it was like a fruity. Yeah, yeah. Um, so then it's in the billions. So 11, 12 billion. Well, the answer is these motherfuckers, including myself, um, we consume 17 billion quarts of popcorn each year. Well, I guess it makes sense because everybody got the movies are open every day. Yeah, that's true. People eat popcorn. Yeah, you can't go to the movies. I have never ever gone to the movie and not have popcorn. At my old job, like when I worked at the movie theater, we made the caramel corn. Oh it was so. Did I have it when we went? I think I did. We sold it in a tub. Yeah. And it was the gift of the month for our members once. I thought that shit was flying off the shelves. It's so fucking cool. I'm just glad because I feel like I'm going to the movies more again. And I like going. I know. I want to watch Odyssey now. And I love to get serviced. I love Tom and Zendeya, by the way. I mean, I said I love to get serviced. I love to get serviced. And she's a Virgo. Oh, is she now? Yeah. You know, a lot of famous people are born on your birthday. I will be the next. Okay, what? Okay. Um I don't like kettle corn, though, I'll say that. It has to be a sick. Oh, I got a good one. Let's see if you can wrap your head around this, bitch. Oh my god. What is the most told lie in the entire world? I know what mine is. What? I'm on my way. That's a good one. I'm on my way. That is a good one. I really ain't on my way for another 15, 20 minutes, I'll tell you that. You know what's so weird how we're so opposite. But I think it's only because I'm older now. Because I used to always be late. But not by a lot. It'd be like five, ten minutes late. That's not bad. But now I'm so fucking anal that I hate to be late. I don't like to be able to get away. I can understand because like I don't like being late to Barnes and Nobles. Yeah. Because we don't get a seat and we didn't get a seat today. You're never going to be late for church ever. Yeah, it was nice to get in there early. People do flee and all of that. And you need some peace while you get in there. Exactly. Um, but um, yeah, you're gonna be late. That's so funny.

SPEAKER_02 26:43

But anything else, yeah, because you take your time.

SPEAKER_01 26:46

I love you.

SPEAKER_02 26:47

Oh, that's horrid. I know, but you think that's the most told lie in the whole world.

SPEAKER_01 26:52

People do lie about that. Oof.

SPEAKER_02 26:54

Yeah, because I've been watching Love After Lock Up, and this motherfucker loves about five people at once.

SPEAKER_01 26:59

And if they don't love him back right now, then he has someone else to go. Well, I loved that the girls didn't go after each other. They went after the man. Yeah, that because it's not the girl, it never is because the guy's the one doing it. There isn't why. Yeah. That's why I said I love it.

SPEAKER_02 27:17

Well, believe me, you me, but I think he loves them both. This motherfucker loves two people. Thought he was gonna do a polyamorous relationship, and they were like, Absolutely not. This is the fucking thing. And I would never watch, I don't like nothing to do with Jill because I never want to go.

SPEAKER_01 27:34

I don't want nothing to fucking do with this bitch is like, Mom, you gotta watch it. It's good. Then I'm sucked in. Because it gives like 90-day fiance vibes. Golly. Um Do you know what it is? You're way off. Oh. Um, this cooking is so good. Your food is so good. I know when you're trying to be polite and you're fucking gagging it down. Oh, I'm like, you know what I'm saying? And it's so obvious because people say it all the fucking time. And whether you mean it or not. Oh, I know. I'm good. How are you? Yes, that's exactly it.

SPEAKER_02 28:12

Yeah, that is the most told line in the world is I'm fine.

SPEAKER_01 28:15

Because people all the time, oh, I'm good, how are you? But actually, when I see people, I generally want to hope they're doing well. Yeah, like I like because when I go in, I'm at the store or whatever, I always greet the person who's gonna help me and I say, hi, hi, even if they don't say it back, because I know I'm still gonna make their deal. No, I do every time we go in the drive-thru. The only time she is nice that is when she is ordering food. If she's ordering it for me because she's driving, like at Starbucks, for example, they'll be like, Hi, how are you today? She says, Good, can I get uh such a recording? I'm gonna record it and you're gonna be. I'm gonna fucking vlog it because we're gonna see how pleasant I look. No, okay. I'm always nice. Can I get a because I'm a fast talker. Yeah, but you just lied right now. No, no, no, you do. No, no, no. And when you're ordering food, you'll be like, God, I'm good. How are you? Bitch. Don't fucking piss me off. This girl's full of shit. She's flying her ass right now. You guys will see, you're gonna see the footage.

SPEAKER_02 29:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:18

And you're gonna always side with me. Yeah, anyways. Bitch. Alright, now the longest recorded Oh no, I don't like that one. I was gonna say, what's the longest recorded birth between twins? Oh. Do you even know? Oh isn't that crazy? Birth between twins. So she had one and then the second one came out. 24 hours. I know you would think that would be it, right? Yeah. No, this doesn't even make sense, but it's for real. Look it up. It's probably on the Guinness book, I would imagine, because it's recorded. It's 87 days. There's just no fucking way that's possible. Well, it's true, it's not a lie. It is. How can you're not a twin then? No, no. Well, you are because you still were in the womb at the same time. No. Them bitches are both coming out. They would have done a C-section and taken them both out. That's not for real. Well, I don't know. That's not real.

SPEAKER_02 30:17

Look it up, bitch. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 30:19

Guess how old the longest living human is? Oh, like 120. Bitch, how do you know? Oh, for real? I just guess it's 122. Damn, because they're probably Italian because Italian people live forever. If I feel the way I feel right here and now, then I'll live to be one in twenty two one twenty-two. But if I don't and my mind ain't clear and focused, just fucking shoot me in the backyard because I'm good. I'm ready. That reminds me of like part of the book that I'm reading. It's like the mom got into a horse accident and she can only retain up to a certain amount of like inform. Like like uh, what's that movie? 51st dates? Oh, it's like uh she only remembers things before her accident. Oh fuck. Wait, is that a thrill or a book you said? No, no, the book is. Oh, I see. That's it. See, it is good. It's just Well, you know what though? If I can't live my full life, I want to go to heaven. Exactly. Just take me. Like if I ever get into a bad accident and I can't walk or anything. If you're a vegetable just die, exactly. Yeah, but I'll be praying for a minute or two before we can do that. Like I'll be it'll be a few months before you're going because now this is gross, but I've always this is just very like, oh my god, because I never put a thought to it, but I it's funny. Okay. It's not funny, but it's just like I'm glad to know the answer to it. Okay. Now, you know when you're gonna barf and your mouth salivas, yeah, like it gets watery, and then you know it's coming, all of a sudden it gets hella water and you're like, oh yeah, I'm gonna throw up for sure. Right. No, you know what that means? What? So extra saliva forms in your mouth before you throw up to neutralize and it makes total sense. Acid. Yeah, and protect your um enamel of your teeth. Because you know, it's so we don't realize we don't realize how acid y our you know intestines and stuff are whatever in there. We have no idea. Like acid, we're talking acid. That shit will fucking burn a hole through your fucking teeth. Yeah, I have acid reflects. I'm very happy to have a watery mouth. And number one, it forewarns me, bitch, you're gonna borrow. I always know I'm gonna throw up because I burp and it tastes like rotten acid. Oh, not me. My mouth just wells up with the worst water. That and I burp it up and it tastes terrible.

SPEAKER_02 32:44

Yeah, give me saliva. I'll choke on that shit.

SPEAKER_01 32:46

I want myself to not be burning, don't want no acids, and I want my teeth to look nice. Period. Period, bitch. I think that's all I got for today. I don't know. Was that interesting? Yeah. All right. Well, I think that's good for me. I I think the last time I threw up was like on my 26th or whatever. I don't know. You weren't 30? No. No. No, you were in your 20s for sure. Because she was fucked up. I was so fucked up. That was I think that's the most drunk I've ever been. Yeah, that was too much. No, on your cruise. Oh, that's true. Yeah, what are you talking about? Well, in one time. Yeah. And um, I threw up and shit at the same time. Well, please tell me we have a fun topic. Um, yeah. I mean, it's interesting. It's not dark, it's interesting. Alright. So we'd be interested then. Today we're gonna talk about who invented it. Oh, okay, that's cool. Yeah. So we've talked about this person before. Einstein? No. Oh. This is Madame CJ Walker. Now, every time I hear her name, it just reminds me of that episode of Sister Sister when they like go back in time and like they um are portraying themselves as all like the black females that like changed history and stuff. Yep. Um and so Madame C.J. Walker, born as Sarah Breedlove in 1867, invented a hair care treatment for black women. She formulated a pomade and a brushing technique and a heated comb, which I've used in Cosmo school. Those are no jokes. Oh, yeah. You can fuck someone's scalp up if you're gonna be able to do it. Yeah, very careful. Because they're hot as fuck. She wanted to invent something because of her own hair loss condition. She would also travel the country teaching other black women how to use her products. Her net worth when she died, her estate alone, was around ten million today. Wow. She died in nineteen nineteen. With interest, her successful hair products, her total fortune would have been over one million. I know. She was meant to be her. Yes, I love her. I know. Okay, the next one is Thomas Edison. Do you know what he invented?

SPEAKER_02 34:59

The light bulb bitch.

SPEAKER_01 35:02

I didn't know you could invent any of that. Okay. So he invented the first that's what I did when I first took a set. He invented the first incandescent light bulb. Now that's a certain you know what incandescent means, right? No. It's like a certain hue of the light, if you will. Like you know, there's warm lighting. You think it was bright? Warm lighting, yeah. Incandescent lighting. Falls to the walls and it fucking was falls to the bulbs, if you will. Right. Yeah. And that was just one of the many inventions. The universal stock printer, also the telegraph and a phonograph. He was granted over 1,000 US patents. And in 1931, he was valued at twelve million. Today would have been 170 to 200 million. Wow. I know. Interest. Isn't it? Yeah. And now the next one is Alexander Graham Bell. I thought his name was Grand. Well, okay, Alexander Graham Bell. He inv and I need to know this. He invented the telephone. And my whole life I thought his name was Grand. Like Graham. Graham. Not Graham, like our boy Garrett Graham. What is it? It is Graham. Yeah. And he invented the telephone. What a great invention. Look where we are today. Yeah. Can't even keep it off our fucking ear. Yeah. So his phone company was founded in 1877. What a fucking time. Damn. I know all these people are coming out with shit. He also worked on flying machines. Oh. He is also known for a few years. Such as the aircraft. Right. He's also known for a scientific lab for the American Association to promote teaching of speech to the deaf. Oh. His net worth in 1922 was approximately 43.5 million. Wow. Today would have been 400. Damn a billion. Damn. Or 400,000 to 1 billion. Wow. Yeah. Isn't that interesting? Yeah. I like their network. Frederick Jones. Frederick Jones. He was a self-taught engineer. Oh, good for him. He created portable refrigeration units. Oh, thank God. They were essential during World War II because trucks could transfer food, blood, and medicine to army hospitals. Isn't that so interesting? See, everybody had a purpose here on the impressive. And we all do. Yeah. I wish I knew what mine was. Damn it. But it's this. Mine is I've always wanted to entertain people. I used to want to be an actress. So bad. And it's like when I watch movies like Spider-Man, for example, that like just make you encapsulated and like feel things. That's what I wanted to do. Do we make you feel things? Anyways. Um he died in 61, and today's net worth would have been 10 million to 50 million. Damn. I feel like it should be more than that. Yeah. It would just be nice in this world if we could just do what we want to do and not have to work. Like, you know what I mean? To concentrate fully on what you want to do. No. You're perfectly. But it's always like you gotta start and because you gotta live and eat. Right. And you gotta do it on your side hustle. Yeah. You still gotta make the moment. You still gotta make money. We gotta wait for our magic moment. This magic magic moment. Okay. The next one is Nikola Tesla. Nicola. Uh-huh. Only heard of him for me because of the Goosebumps movie. Remember? Oh, yes. I love those movies. She sure did. And oh my god, we saw a preview for Jumanji 3. Oh, I can't wait. Can't wait. But I didn't see Nick. Oh, I know. Is he not in it? Because why he would have been in the trailer. I know. Unless they want to shock us at the end. But how could he not be in it? I know. Weird. Anyway. Maybe he is. We just don't know. Well, he wasn't in the first one, and it was just like the main He wasn't? No. He was not in the first one. You are out of your fucking mind. I am tripping. I'm tripping. He looks so hot in that movie. I know I'm fucking tripping. I'm ready to watch it right now. Okay, see him on that horse right now, bitch. Horse. Didn't he have that big one? He flew the plane.

SPEAKER_02 39:22

Oh well, he's on my white horse. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 39:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 39:27

Knocking out my front door. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 39:29

His design of the um alternating current electric system is still used today around the world at that. He also invented the first AC hydroelectric power plant and the Tesla coil. That's also still used in radio tech. Nice. Dude, he was smart as fuck. Yeah. And Elon Musk named Tesla's after him. Um Do you know he's a fucking trillionaire now? Trillionaire. I mean, I'm sure. Damn. So anyway, so Nikola Tesla went bankrupt because of unpaid hotel bills and debts that exceeded his assets. That sounds like what'll happen to me. Oh. Unpaid hotel bills. No, I'm just kidding. No, I'm just kidding. Okay. The next one is Sarah Boone, 1832. 1832. Was a dressmaker that created the ironing board. Oh, wow. I know. Isn't that cool? That's fascinating. I know, right. Most people were ironing on wooden planks resting on two chairs, which she transformed into her idea of one little thing. You just don't know what is a need and a want. Ironing board was I don't know any household that didn't have an ironing board. Right. But now we use steamers. Sorry, Sarah. No, but I mean we have we el what do you call that? Evolutionized out of it. What do you call that? Yeah, evolution. So she became one of the first black women in night in 1892 to be awarded a patent in American history. And I couldn't find her network. But isn't that cool? Yeah. Good job, Sarah. Shout out. I know. Let me just tell you all right now what I'm gonna fucking do. I love that. The next one is Wilbur Wright, 1867. Wilbur. I know that we're not that movie. Sad. I know. Uh he invented with the help of his brother the world's first power-driven airplane. In 1903, they flew the world's first free controlled flight for 59 seconds over 800 feet. Damn. He died in 1912 with no signal with no single lump sum figure documented. Yeah. The next one is Philo T. Farnsworth, 1906. 1906. He created the first electro telectronic television. Wow, in 1906. Damn. There were some legal troubles at first for the invention, but he then had an offer he couldn't refuse which allowed the market to sell the TVs for f home consumers. Yeah, but I mean and not in 1906, people didn't have TVs. No, I know, because he there was he invented it, but there was issues with it. So he couldn't sell it. And then I guess they came up with something and they and then someone else bought it over. I still will say that I'm so glad I was born when I was born. Because I can't live in no 1900s early. Mm-mm. You don't know that. I know that you did, bitch.

SPEAKER_02 42:45

How do you fucking know?

SPEAKER_01 42:47

Because in the Bible it says that he recycles our souls. Well, Lord, let me tell you.

SPEAKER_02 42:53

I'm done now, so let me just float around in heaven because I don't want to do anything else.

SPEAKER_01 42:59

So, anyways, he also worked on tech like radar, infrared telescopes, and nuclear fusion. He died in 1971, roughly around 1.5 million to 3 million. Which is a lot. Um, because of the corporate buyouts and legal battles left him that much. Hey, you know what I'm thinking though? So if we think that, oh god, we're done. This is our last go-around, it probably really is. Because if we already know we don't want to come back every time, what if that happens in each life cycle though? But I you know what I was thinking about life cycles? I was thinking that each time you come back, it's better and better. Like you started at one level and it like I might have been in the medieval times and my throat got slit at birth. I don't know. All I know is I'm scared to death of it. So obviously I didn't like it there. But I just feel like I feel like you come back, you're the same person, but you're in a more elevated each time. Is that yeah? Does that make sense? I just feel like each time you come back, it's better. And better. Yeah. Because this time wasn't fucking good. I mean, it's good, you know, with the child and all, but I'm just saying the child.

SPEAKER_02 44:08

These motherfuckers in these streets weren't nice.

SPEAKER_01 44:12

Okay. The next one is Lonnie Johnson, 1949. 1949. What do you think he invented? Something because it was war time, right? 1949? Oh, 42, I think, was the war. So 1949, he invented a really nice washer. Oh. Well, what the fuck did he do? He invented the water gun. Oh, a water gun. He worked for the U.S. Air Force in NASA and somehow accidentally invented the water toy. He meant still alive today. He meant to create an environmentally friendly heat pump that would rely on water instead of freelance. Oh, nice. Yeah. He went to test it in his bathroom and a powerful stream of water shot out from the device. Then he realized he could sell that shit on the market as a toy. Yeah. He said uh he sold it to the um Larney Corporation, I don't know, in 1989. And he won a settlement in 2013 after an arbitration panel ruled the toy underpaid, and he got 72.9 million.

SPEAKER_02 45:18

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 45:19

So before he was only getting royalties, and he's still alive. He's 76. Wow. Good fuck you, bro. No, living is bad. Isn't that fucked? He was only getting royalties at first. I know. Like um Mr. Wonderful in the Shark Tank.

SPEAKER_02 45:34

Girl, if we could think of one thing, it's like if there's a need for something.

SPEAKER_01 45:39

I know.

SPEAKER_02 45:39

It's just gonna go like wildfire.

SPEAKER_01 45:41

Yeah.

unknown 45:43

Anyways.

SPEAKER_01 45:45

Though this is the last one for today. Last one for today, folks. Lewis or Louis. Louis, Louis. I don't know if it's Louis or Louis. Shut the fuck up.

SPEAKER_02 45:54

Where you gotta go.

SPEAKER_01 45:56

Shut up. It's either Lewis or Louis. I don't know. But it's Louis or Louis Braille. Okay. He created the communication we know as Braille. Oh, that's so good. Yeah. He raised dot codes and he was blinded in an accident at three years old. Then at ten went to the National Institute for the Blind with uh oh no to the blind youth in Paris. Oh wow. That was parents. That was where he was in the French army in hopes the military would use it to Oh wait, sorry, I skipped a spot. Um okay, he went in Paris and that was where he met a man named Charles Barbier, who invented a code of raised dots when he was in the French army in hopes the military would use it to communicate silently at night. Oh that didn't work out, obviously. But Louis or Louis Braille was able to use Charles Barbier's idea to create an easier system, and that's now what we use all over the world. For Braille. For Braille. Oh, that's wonderful. Isn't it? Yeah. That guy's smart as fuck. Yeah. I didn't look up his net worth, but I think that's great. Isn't that cool? Yeah. Absolutely wonderful and marvelous. Alright. Love it. And yeah, so that's all for this week's episode. We hope you guys come back next week. Hope you deal with our sealedness. Dealt. Dealt. Okay, Cindy's drunk. Anyways, thank you guys for listening. If you listen, don't forget to like, rate, and subscribe, share us with your friends and fam. And we'll talk to you guys next week. Stay blessed. And well dressed. And keep it classy, sassy, and smartassy bitch. Thank you. Bye. Ciao, ciao.

unknown 47:52

For now.

SPEAKER_01 47:52

For now.