Unapologetic Swingers

Unapologetic Swingers: Episode 5 - Soft Swap Adventures

• Unapologetic Swingers • Season 1 • Episode 5

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Continue with us on our lifestyle journey as we recount some stories and experiences from early on when we were just getting our footing. Some good - some bad, but always entertaining. Come along for a swinging good time!

Lady:

Welcome back to unapologetic swingers. I'm lady

Tramp:

and I'm the tramp

Lady:

and we are on to episode number five

Tramp:

and this one is going to be called soft swap adventures and you guys will have to forgive us if we're not quite as sharp as usual. We had a very late night and sexy night last night.

Lady:

Oh yeah. I can't wait until we talk about that.

Tramp:

It's going to be a future bonus episode. I had some friends in from out of town and just had an absolutely wild night that we can't wait to tell you about.

Lady:

Yeah, it's great. Let's do that again on core.

Tramp:

Absolutely. But this one is soft swap adventure. So in our historical timeline, this is to the point of, post Brazilian 1. 0. We have decided, okay, we're going to enter the lifestyle as a couple. And start to find our place, I guess. And at that time it was soft swap, which is non penetrative sex.

Lady:

And that's what we both kind of agreed to and said, okay, I'm comfortable with this. And likely going with the lowest denominator person, which is me.

Tramp:

Well, at the time, but I have a feeling since then, as, we catch up to more current times. You've eclipsed me a couple of times.

Lady:

I definitely have. I've surprised you and you've been very receptive.

Tramp:

Honestly, that is, I think that's just my personality,

Lady:

right?

Tramp:

Because with only a couple. I guess negative examples I can count on less than one hand, for example. I just love watching you play and the sounds you make and just the joy it brings you.

Lady:

Yeah, a lot of joy. Yes. Yeah, so I think a lot of our adventures really Happened at home with Sunday fun days. Yes. Especially during the summer.

Tramp:

Correct. Our local club has a thing called a Sunday fun day where unlike a lot of clubs, it's not just an evening event. Most clubs are six or 8 PM to two o'clock AM, give or take. And this is a daytime event. I think it goes from noon, maybe. to eight, I think 8 p. m. And then they kick everyone out and, and it probably the people that work there can actually enjoy an evening to themselves.

Lady:

Yeah. No, it's just, it's so much fun in the summer. They have the water slides, they have volleyball going on, cornhole beer pong. You can play pool inside. They have music. It's just, it's so relaxing. Only thing we're missing is a pool and a jacuzzi. But we make it work.

Tramp:

It's just so great, I guess, being able to be outside. And if you want to be nude, you can. It's a lot more of like a, a social atmosphere. It's not so much play centric, although it does happen.

Lady:

It does. The fun part is the Well, one of the many fun parts is they have the cabanas outside that you can rent, and a lot of people will rent them for birthday parties or celebrations, or just because they want a spot reserved for all their friends. And that's really nice to have.

Tramp:

true. We've been able to experience those a couple of times.

Lady:

Yeah, we had a friend have a birthday party and they decorated the cabana and pretty sure they tied her up. And I do remember

Tramp:

that. Yeah.

Lady:

They, they spanked her quite a bit, but that was fun.

Tramp:

But the one thing that is, I guess, inherent with the Sunday fun days is it is a good stretch of day drinking. It just makes for a good day. I think that's something I really enjoy kind of like a desire where you just are in a steady state all day and socializing and having so much fun.

Lady:

Yeah, just have to. Keep you and, and our other friend away from Jaeger. Cause that sometimes does not end so well, but for the most part, you do really well. I think I'm, blaming it on the friend.

Tramp:

He's a bad influence, but, but they are some of our dearest friends, so you can't, you can't be too hard on him. I

Lady:

know I won't.

Tramp:

So most Sunday Fun Days are mostly a social experience for us, but occasionally we will play. And we did come across this one sexy couple that Honestly, we haven't seen them since, as far as I know.

Lady:

Yeah, I don't think I have, but I don't know how much wine I had either. So

Tramp:

me too, me too, unfortunately, but they were forward and, and said, Hey, would you guys like to go downstairs and play with us? And we explained that we were strictly a sauce swap couple. And they were like, that is just fine with us.

Lady:

Yeah. I think one of the things to remember with that is it's probably an old saying that parents say is use your words right. And set that expectation of where you're at. Especially if you do have those limitations don't be afraid to say This is where we're at. This is, you know, where are you at? And just having that conversation before. So it's not awkward as you're starting to play and yeah,

Tramp:

it, lets people know exactly where your boundaries are and where you're at so that they can respect that hopefully.

Lady:

Yes.

Tramp:

And so it doesn't lead also to an unfortunate situation. Yeah, I guess it's the best way to put it

Lady:

because you're just in the heat of the moment most of the time. And it could lead to events that you're just not prepared for or haven't talked about with your partner. So those

Tramp:

can and will happen from time to time, but that's where communication is pivotal.

Lady:

Yes, it is. And I think we've communicated a lot and we've talked about the rules and the boundaries and, but there's still things that have happened that we didn't talk about.

Tramp:

And to me, that's part of the fun

Lady:

right

Tramp:

now, now that we're in a good place, there, are times where it's, touch and go and we aren't feeling, that secure or stable. And usually if you choose to play in those situations, that's not going to be the best outcome.

Lady:

Right. So they asked us to go play

Tramp:

and we went downstairs and it's funny on Sunday, fun days, the play area is pretty much empty.

Lady:

Yeah. Well, there are

Tramp:

very few, I

Lady:

think everybody is enjoying being outside and more of a meet and greet and hang out with your friends. Yeah. Sort of vibe. Yeah.

Tramp:

Or just working on your tans. But we go downstairs and start to interact with this couple. And the hottest thing about this interaction is they were a good looking couple. But I'll admit it's been several years now. And my memory of exactly how they look is not as sharp as it should be.

Lady:

Right.

Tramp:

But I do remember that they were an attractive couple.

Lady:

Yeah.

Tramp:

And the highlight was for me, at least with that whole interaction, was we all got naked and, and he started to play with you while you were standing up. And this man must have had some magic fingers because in no time at all, you were, squirting while standing up, which I don't think I've ever seen that happen. You've always been laying back or,

Lady:

you know, if, if the touch is just right and you're in the mood and you let go, anything can happen.

Tramp:

And I think with letting go alcohol can definitely, or, being a little altered, whatever that looks like to you. Can definitely help, but there's a fine line

Lady:

there is because we've had those moments where we've had probably too much alcohol and we're playing with people that we probably normally wouldn't.

Tramp:

And those happened, I think it's just part of the process where you're learning. Now I would like to say Well, we are a lot more on the same page. I don't know if you went with it because you thought I was in or vice versa.

Lady:

Right. It could have been both.

Tramp:

And it could have been both because a lot of the time I will follow if ladies and then I'm a rubber stamp I'm in, it would take a lot for me to say no, thanks.

Lady:

Right. But, you know, At the end of the day, if you're having a great time, sometimes looks don't mean everything sometimes.

Tramp:

No, that's true. And I think we've had multiple discussions about how men are very visual. We're very visual creatures.

Lady:

Yeah.

Tramp:

But confidence is sexy. And when you have a great personality, that becomes sexy as well.

Lady:

It does. And it goes both ways. I think for women, if somebody can just make you laugh and tear down all the personas and all the walls that you've built, it's just like, yeah, that's hot. That's sexy. Let's go.

Tramp:

So maybe when some couples reach out to us and you look at the pictures, maybe you'll be like, instead of being no way, you'd be like, you know what? Let's go get together for a drink.

Lady:

Hey, I have gotten way better at that. I used to, I was so bad at that. I can admit it. But I've gotten way better. Yes, you

Tramp:

have.

Lady:

Because you show me pictures. I'm like, no. And then we meet them in person. I'm like, Oh my God, they're so great. And they look good. Yeah. Don't, don't judge. I was very judgy and I think I've changed a little bit. You have,

Tramp:

you have, but one thing that we have noticed that is still a problem on the assorted apps is guys, you need to take some good pictures.

Lady:

Oh my gosh. Yes. Women take such great pictures, which I appreciate cause

Tramp:

I do too.

Lady:

Yeah, we all do, but it would be great to see the men and what they look like and yeah. And not just a

Tramp:

dick pic.

Lady:

No, no. We did that in high school. We're not doing that anymore. So I think with Sunday fun days and just our soft swap era, I'm going to call it, there were so many experiences and such a learning curve for us to really figure out our desires and what we wanted and who we were as individuals and as a couple. And we had so many, and I think we told you guys about a couple other experiences before, so we're not going to go through those. But we had a, probably a good, what, year of just soft swap. Yes. Adventures and. hits and misses and great times where we walked away and we just high fived each other. That was always the best time when we walked away. And that's

Tramp:

always my goal for us to be able to walk away from an experience and just be able to high five each other and say, that was awesome.

Lady:

Or when I looked at you and I'm standing in the bathroom getting ready and I say, babe, we're sluts. That was great. And you're like, yeah, we're sluts. That was,

Tramp:

that was after a following trip to desire that we'll cover. I know, but

Lady:

it's fun being a slut in our own way. But yeah, I mean, I think everybody goes through this very differently than we do, and that's okay. Like, everybody finds their way very differently. And I, I love our path. I love our path. And I know it's going to continue to evolve and get better and more adventures and more fun and meeting new people and

Tramp:

old friends.

Lady:

Yeah. And the best of friends that you could ask for. It's just, it's so genuine and different. So it really

Tramp:

helped with, we've been able to fine tune our communication as well.

Lady:

And even through The soft swap era, there were hit and misses, but absolutely, but we communicated and we talked through it quickly. I mean, we had to talk about it head on and it just made us so much closer. And I know I loved you so much more each time. And I was like, this is great. We,

Tramp:

we had fun then and we're having, I would say more fun now.

Lady:

Yeah.

Tramp:

And wherever this leads us, I'm, I'm just thankful.

Lady:

Oh, he loves me.

Tramp:

I do.

Lady:

He loves me.

Tramp:

And let's see, what else do we have here?

Lady:

I think some of our other soft swap adventures was in Vegas.

Tramp:

It was. And we hope to talk about that on a future episode, dedicate one or dedicate an episode to that because there's so much that happened there. But we did have a trip to Vegas where a couple reached out to us. They were also visiting.

Lady:

He was there for work.

Tramp:

Yes.

Lady:

And his wife came along. Yeah.

Tramp:

And they got caught up or something with a work dinner or work conference. And lady and I were just kind of sitting and drinking at the hotel bar. And I could tell you were getting antsy because they're like, we'll reach out to you as soon as we're able. And that time passed and we're like, Oh no, are we getting ghosted?

Lady:

You never know.

Tramp:

Well, it's always possible.

Lady:

It is. And yeah, it definitely is. I've heard stories of it, but. Sorry, go on.

Tramp:

No, but I think we were just enjoying, you know, some, some probably overpriced drinks while we were at the wind. So,

Lady:

well, yes, it's a Vegas. Come on, people got to go to the liquor store and grab your bottle and take it back to the hotel,

Tramp:

but no, we were enjoying some very good cocktails. And then this couple came through. And, we had a couple of drinks and just talked and it was kind of, I guess you'd call it almost like first date energy where you're just trying to feel each other out. And,

Lady:

Not big dick energy. First date energy.

Tramp:

See, I think you're affected by big dick.

Lady:

Don't tell anyone.

Tramp:

Well, no, you have a soft spot for this aura of confidence and shout out to Carlos there. And you fall right underneath that spell. And I know this.

Lady:

And I

Tramp:

love when you do, I honestly thought they were pretty quiet, but we got to talking and I admit in the back of my mind, I thought, okay, this really isn't going anywhere.

Lady:

Yeah, it was, it was a little laid back and a little slow. But we did have great conversations. We did. Yeah. We

Tramp:

did. And they actually said, Hey, we would love to play with you guys. If you are, if you are open to it.

Lady:

Right. And they were very attractive. And we were open to it and we said, yeah, let's, let's go. We have, we have the room upstairs. Yeah. So we go upstairs and those rooms are just. Amazing. I could stay there all the time, which we do, but yeah.

Tramp:

But the cool thing that this couple did was they were like, Hey, do you want to play a game?

Lady:

I'm

Tramp:

like, sure.

Lady:

Break the ice.

Tramp:

Yeah. A little ice breaker. And they just produced a pair of sexy dice.

Lady:

Yes.

Tramp:

Where one is a body part. And then the other is an action, you know, whether it's kiss or lick or suck, et cetera.

Lady:

I love that because for us, we didn't have a lot of experience in this. Yeah.

Tramp:

We were still finding our feet at that time.

Lady:

Right. And I think when you have a lot of experience and you know where you're at, it's like, let's go. Like, All right. it's on. And for us, we're like, what do we do? Do we like just start? And I think that was so nice that they had those because it was like, okay, let's like play a game and, do these sexy things that the dice are telling us to do.

Tramp:

And very, very quickly, you know, clothes were lost and it was just a good experience. It's one that I look back on fondly.

Lady:

It is. Some of the parts during the swap were a little odd for me.

Tramp:

Well, I do recall that you said he was really quiet.

Lady:

Yeah, she was very vocal. And I know you love a vocal woman.

Tramp:

Well, because it, it lets me know that I'm doing something right,

Lady:

right. So, when we're playing and he doesn't say anything, he doesn't move. I'm just like, do I suck at this? What's wrong with me? And that's what I was thinking. And it just, it wasn't that enjoyable. It was fun, but you know, you just have those moments really. Is that just you or is it me? And then you just start thinking about it and your mind, just kind of goes and yeah, it was turning a little bit,

Tramp:

but we, I had a good time. I know she did. Because they did reach out afterwards and say, thank you very much. And if you're ever in our neck of the woods, please let us know.

Lady:

Yeah.

Tramp:

That could just be his style. And I wouldn't necessarily take it personally, babe.

Lady:

No. And, I didn't, of course my mind was again, turning at the moment, but I was like, okay, well maybe that's just how he is. So yeah, never take it personally. And

Tramp:

then the last thing, this is more of a personal thing for me. But during this time, even all the way back to the Brazilians 1. 0 way back at the beginning I started to experience stage fright down south.

Lady:

Yeah.

Tramp:

And it was something that I battled and it's not uncommon in I mean, if you read on Reddit or anything, you know, erectile issues seem to be commonplace.

Lady:

Yeah.

Tramp:

Unfortunately.

Lady:

It is. It's a human body.

Tramp:

It's a human body, and the mind is such a powerful thing.

Lady:

Yes.

Tramp:

Now, ultimately, I did find a solution, and maybe I'll cover that in a future episode. Maybe not. Maybe I'll keep that to myself. But for a guy, it can be just disheartening where you know that the, sexy lady you're playing with is just trying to pleasure you and you may mentally be turned on, but your deck isn't working.

Lady:

It's the cylinders aren't firing.

Tramp:

Yeah. And it sucks.

Lady:

Yeah, because. God, when you're turned on, holy fuck.

Tramp:

When, everything is flowing correctly.

Lady:

I mean, talk about big dick energy. Yes. I will take him all day, every day. Thank you.

Tramp:

My love making me blush over, but I think it's something and I'm talking more to the guys, if you are having problems, there are solutions out there. And I think we all experience it from time to time.

Lady:

Yeah.

Tramp:

It's just, some of it is nerves. Mine was all nerves. I know mine was just anxiety. And unfortunately, I started to get a little bit depressed about it until I really looked into the issue and found my solution.

Lady:

Yeah. I, I'd be interested to hear more and I'm sure listeners Would be interested to hear more because, yeah, you're, with other couples or maybe it's a group and you're trying to find your way. And is everything firing? And if it's not, how do you feel? What do you do? Do you continue to feel that way and, you know, figure out how to fix it and is the fix the solution? Do you ever get over it? Like there's just, there's so many questions. There's a

Tramp:

lot of moving parts. Yeah.

Lady:

So

Tramp:

yeah, maybe we'll cover that later on down the road.

Lady:

I think people appreciate the transparency.

Tramp:

Yes.

Lady:

So,

Tramp:

yes. But that's all we have for today. We did have our Unapologetic stories in there. And there were a couple of them. And I think we really covered our honesty with the stories. Unless babe, you have something else to add.

Lady:

No, I don't. I think we did. And I know we have an AMA, so if you want to cover that. Yeah.

Tramp:

I would say what we learned over the course of those interactions was We really honed in on our communication.

Lady:

We still are. I get what you're saying. I don't know if it was a hundred percent there. So we did. And you're so right.

Tramp:

It's not a switch where it's on and off. No. You have to build that up and it takes time.

Lady:

Yeah, it does. And it doesn't stop. It doesn't end.

Tramp:

No, even today.

Lady:

Yeah.

Tramp:

So our ask us anything from this week is the holdover from last time with Carlos and Susie. And this actually came from Carlos and Susie. And the question is which sex experiences do you most regret?

Lady:

This is a tough one because I try not to have regrets. For me, I think everything is a learning experience. Even if you look back and you're like, why did I do that? Why didn't I do that? Right. You're questioning and going through that process in your head, but, as you grow and you're molded and you become more experienced, you're like, well, that's what made me who I am today. That's what made me more experienced. So with that being said, no regrets, but some of the experiences I'm sure I could have handled better. And I think for me it would be just drinking too much alcohol.

Tramp:

But you get fun when you're, you have a good level.

Lady:

Yes, I do.

Tramp:

Your inhibitions come down and yeah, you're, just more open.

Lady:

I can see that, but it's when you, you don't stop because it can be a very long day, Sunday, fun day can be a long day. Going to our local club can be a very long day. It's like all of a sudden two in the morning and the lights are coming on. You're like, Oh my gosh, what just happened? But you're drinking all night. So I think for me, it's making sure I slow down and saying, all right, I'm good. Like I need some water. And not making. Terrible decisions.

Tramp:

Have you made any truly terrible decisions?

Lady:

No, not terrible.

Tramp:

We'll in the future, we'll go through over some things, some mistakes that each of us made individually. Right. And that's just part of this journey. Yeah. It's not always sunshine or roses.

Lady:

No, it's not. And like I said, it's, it's a learning experience. So do you have any regrets?

Tramp:

I think my regrets, my biggest regret is going into a lifestyle situation, in this case a party, where you were in prep for your physique competition. So you were not drinking and, I think I, kind of prodded you even to come. Because you weren't really that interested because you couldn't relax and enjoy you were so regimented And I don't know. I just got this negative mindset of well Ladies being a stick in the mud tonight, so i'm gonna make my own fun And I got in trouble because of that and rightfully so You know, I broke our boundaries and I do truly regret it I just hated to see how disappointed you were.

Lady:

I appreciate that. We have learned and grown from that. We have. Yeah.

Tramp:

So just, a warning listeners. Yes, Tramp does screw up from time to time. Yeah. Ladies pretty perfect, but

Lady:

I don't know about that. I mean, there was a moment where you were disappointed with me the next day. And I know we'll cover that because that's kind of a whole episode. So, the disappointment is the hard part.

Tramp:

And I think the learning part of it is having the grace to actually sit down, not accept it necessarily, but just talk about it.

Lady:

Right.

Tramp:

And not letting the emotions rule. Does that make sense?

Lady:

It does. I think for women it's a tougher pill to swallow when you say that because women have a lot of emotions. Um, And

Tramp:

Yes, you do.

Lady:

But I think you hit the nail on the head when you said, giving some grace. And if it's something that happens all the time, that grace goes away. But if it's, yeah, if it's a true mistake and it's like, man, I really fuck that up. Yeah.

Tramp:

You have to come back with your hat in hand and say, babe, I truly am sorry. And I don't have. There, there's not a reason in this world other than I fucked up.

Lady:

Yeah, exactly. It just makes us stronger.

Tramp:

Yes. And I think it opens up even more communication and that's always the goal.

Lady:

It does. It does.

Tramp:

All right, guys. So we hope you enjoyed this episode, even though what did must have seemed a little disjointed.

Lady:

We were a little all over the place, but hopefully. It came together. It made a little sense.

Tramp:

Well, we're blaming all our sexy time from last night, which I think we got

Lady:

home at like 2. 30 in the morning. Yeah.

Tramp:

But I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Lady:

We're surviving!

Tramp:

So we truly enjoy that you're continuing to come on this journey with us, and Please reach out to us at unapologetic swingers at gmail. com. If you have questions, comments or have an AMA question, because we are running awful light on those topics,

Lady:

All right, guys, make sure you visit us on our website, unapologeticswingers. com. And on there you can see there's a buy me a cup of coffee and give us a good review or any review. Actually, sorry, not, not a good review. We just, we would love a good review, but yeah, just give us a review. We want your honest feedback and how we're doing, how we can improve. And I think if you even send us an email saying, you know, I enjoy this part, or I would love to see, or not see, I would love to hear this

Tramp:

I've gotten requests to see, but, oh,

Lady:

do people want to see that is a big, maybe. The next episode teaser is going to be a bonus episode and it is a visit from our first full swap couple. So much fun and I think You know, we kind of mentioned we had a great time last night. So,

Tramp:

and this is indeed the couple in question,

Lady:

make sure you stick around. Until next time I'm lady

Tramp:

and I'm the tramp

Lady:

be sexy,

Tramp:

be confident,

Lady:

be unapologetic.