Unapologetic Swingers

Unapologetic Swingers: Episode 16 - Lifestyle, Poly, and Kink Oh My!

• Unapologetic Swingers • Season 1 • Episode 16

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The Tramp and Elle are joined by a very special guest who is involved in three different ENM worlds that rarely collide.

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Elle:

Welcome back to unapologetic swingers. I'm l

Tramp:

and I'm the tramp I just want to thank you guys for coming along on this journey with us. And really, a quick little tidbit about us is we're just combining our Experiences to the lifestyle and talking about it. Realistically, the highs, the lows and everything in between.

Elle:

As we have been looking for new topics to talk about and people to interview the The best part that we've had is, looking to friends that we have and that we've met through our experiences in the lifestyle and at the ranch or at a party and ones that we find just fascinating and, we think would offer a lot. stories to people who might be new to the lifestyle or in it for a while, but maybe hit a lull or just hearing somebody's story and having more of an understanding of what someone else has gone through. So I would like to introduce our good friend cat and we got to know cat. She's been doing fairly well in this last year. Just one of those, again, seeing people over and over again, talking, getting to know each other more, and really enjoying their company and things that they have to say. And she has just been a really great friend to get to know over this last year.

Cat:

Thank you.

Elle:

Welcome. Welcome, Kat. It's been

Cat:

nice getting to know you too. And for having me. for having me.

Elle:

Well, so what we were thinking is maybe we could just spend a few minutes talking about how you got into the lifestyle and what made you decide that this was something you wanted to do at this point in your life?

Cat (2):

So I was in a completely monogamous marriage and prior to that relationship for 27 years. And when that relationship dissolved, this was at the end of 2019, I went on a journey to explore a lot of different things. But I was coming from a relationship where the last multiple years had had no physical contact whatsoever.

Tramp (2):

Yeah.

Cat (2):

And I truly believed that. I just did not have those desires. I did not have any interest or libido or anything like that. And so, when I did separate and ultimately divorced, I was exploring. I was in full exploration mode. And I went through a period of time that I think is fairly typical where I was a bit of a kid in a candy store. Yes, yes, yes. I tried that flavor and maybe several flavors at the same time. You know, all the things. And went a little bit, I'm not going to say crazy, but I was definitely realizing that I absolutely absolutely. I just needed to be in a different context, so this matches up with some other things that I've heard in terms of timing with people who have spoken on your podcast, this is all going down, right? As COVID is hitting, so, yeah, so I was, dating a little bit and meeting different people, clicked in with a person that I met in the Springs and was actually meeting. dating, dating this person and then COVID hits and we're basically locked down at that point. And I'm not getting to see this person at all. We're just talking online for the most part, barely have met even. But once we did meet, it became the first significant relationship that I had outside of where I had come from. He was previously in the lifestyle with his ex wife. I kind of knew some things just based on, actually based on another person who you also know. Funny how that works. Small world. But I hadn't done any exploration in terms of the lifestyle. He suggested to me, if you ever want to explore, we can go to these places together if you want to, we can, see if we can connect with other people. This is the first person who introduced me to the fact that places like the Scarlet Ranch and Montchelet existed, and, I was listening very attentively to all of this, thinking, well, that sounds Interesting. You know, I

Tramp:

was going to say, what was your knee jerk reaction? Because oftentimes coming from a place of monogamy, the knee jerk without even thinking about it is going to say no, no, but you, you weren't a much difference.

Cat (2):

I want something more. Yeah. And that's, I mean, that was one of the first indications for me, for myself was that. When he's telling me about these things very tentatively, to see how I react to them, I'm not saying absolutely not. I'm saying tell me more. It's curiosity. It's openness. Openness, for sure. So, he and I ended up, long story short, we ended up meeting a couple at a play apartment that they had exclusively for that purpose. So, This was my first experience. This man and I had been dating for a few months at that point, met this couple at their apartment, and they had actually invited another single male over. And it turned into the most delightful afternoon, where I got to be the center of attention, and it was just completely fluid and easy and fun, and I came out of it saying, okay, well, I found my people, right? What do we do next? Yeah. What's next? And the couple that we had met there were like, well, you guys must have been doing this for a really long time. You're so comfortable and easy together. And he, he said to them, this is the first time she's been out the gate and they're going to interject

Tramp:

just for a second. It's funny. How so many of us, when we have that great experience, and it doesn't have to be, an actual play session, but whether it's just going to Sunday Funday or something like that, and all of a sudden it dawns on you, it's like, I found my people. Right.

Elle:

Yes. Right. How

Tramp:

most lifestyle folks, they're some of the most caring, friendly. Yes. You know, people I've ever met and quite frankly, that's why I prefer them over my vanilla friends.

Elle:

Cause you can talk to them about anything. You have an understanding for what the other is going through. And I have found that those are the people that are truly there for you without judgment because we don't judge.

Cat (2):

Absolutely. So we didn't actually ever do that again. I was with that person for about six months, but I decided after that first experience, In my infinite wisdom, that the ideal situation for me would be to have a girlfriend, and a boyfriend, and a couple. And I could have all three of those things, and then my life would be perfect. Well, that's a lot harder than it sounds. So, I've almost gotten to that point a couple times, but it's too much. But what became very clear to me, As I started exploring, okay, what does this mean? And I'm not a big fan of labels, but they're useful. They serve a purpose. I am absolutely Polly.

Elle:

You can love multiple people at any one time.

Cat (2):

Yeah, but I'm also, sometimes I'm entirely by myself. I do classify myself. If you have to look at it that way as solo Polly in that, if it comes down to it, I'm going to. Probably choose the relationship with myself over all these other things, partly because it just gets too chaotic, but it became very clear to me that Polly was where I was. So I would say kind of like a double major in Polly and kink with a minor in swing. Okay. So that's actually, I love that. It's like, that's actually the, lower part of the the diagram for me, I guess. Open to it. It's fun when it happens. Yeah. So it's not your driving force. It's not.

Elle:

So the driving force is the poly relationships that having multiple close relationships with one or more people. that are all involved to each other. And then you had mentioned that you are into kink. And I think what we're finding over the years, you are either kink or swing and they can overlap, but it isn't necessarily an overlap. So tell us how that fits into your world.

Cat (2):

I think that, well, as we've talked about, it's different for everybody, but The kink piece is something else that I figured out very early on. And it is something that is hardwired, almost, for me. So, that piece of it, I don't think that there's not an overlap with the swing piece. But at the same time, the nature of the relationships within kink, If that's genuinely where you are, don't necessarily lend themselves to the same kind of relationships you get in typical swinger lifestyle relationships just because of the power dynamics and the different kind of trust and different kind of communication that's involved. I was going to say

Tramp:

I feel that in the lifestyle it does tend to be a lot more fluid. Sometimes up to chance, whereas in the kink community, Correct me if I'm wrong, but you have a scene and it's very, it's almost like it's scripted we're going to be doing this today.

Cat (2):

So for us, it's, it's definitely not scripted. It's open the bag and see where things go. Okay. Well, and that's part of the relationship. What happens during the scene? depends on the signals that my partner is getting from me. And he may change entirely what he was planning on doing based on the way I'm reacting. Or, and this is an interesting thing in terms of being at the ranch or somewhere else where you're in an open play situation. If. He's getting energy from the way that people are reacting to what's going on in the scene. He may change things based on that. As his sub, as the bottom, most of the time I am completely oblivious to what's going on in the room. I don't know that there are people around me until afterwards or if they're being really loud. I'm just working with whatever he's Giving me and it does change every time. Okay,

Elle:

so Jay and I happen to Be watching the other night when the two of you were doing a scene With actually a new couple that had only been to the ranch once before so we did find ourselves Kind of explaining some of the things because I think the initial Thought is, oh, that's impact on her. Is that hurting her? And so explaining actually, no, it's not. But would you mind just taking a moment and walking us through just a basic scene that you might find yourself in?

Cat (2):

So a pretty typical scene. I am restrained to usually across sometimes something else's banking bench, whatever happens to be available. A cabana, you know, whatever has a hard point in it. A hard point being somewhere where it is safe for me to be attached to it in some way without injuring myself and without the whole thing collapsing and people getting hurt. Yes. And we will have multiple different implements that are set out that may or may not be used and Usually there will be a short period of warm up where I'm actually being touched in a way with bamboo or with some kind of a cane or something like that to actually warm up the blood vessels in my skin.

Elle:

And that's when you see your skin start pinking up a little bit. You can tell it doesn't hurt you, it's more of just a thwack thwack. For lack of a better term for it, that's what I hear. I think that's a technical term. Yeah, sure. And, and you can see your, skin starting to pink up and get sensitive. And then, so you've got all those little endorphins out on the outside of your skin so that you can start receiving.

Cat (2):

And it's 100 percent sensory for me. I am completely touch motivated. That's one of the things that. Made it clear that this was a good thing for me. It's therapeutic, that's a word that you used the other night, actually. When I am in that space, it's like getting the best massage on the planet with a person that you care deeply about. So, it's, kind of magical. You go from that point where your skin is getting warmed up, basically and then my partner will go through a series of different implements could be Leather floggers could be metal floggers. I have a thing about metal. So, there's always metal involved. But he usually alternates the impact implements that he's using with other sensory devices that may be temperature that may cool down my skin after he's been flogging me. Or that may hypersensitize my skin after he's been flogging me. And it is, because we've been doing this for as long as we've been doing it, he can tell exactly what he's gonna get from certain implements. So, yeah, he'll alternate the actual impact with different sensory toys. It's kind of an arc, so he will start with things that are a bit less impactful and get harder and harder and harder and then come back down. And then when we're finished, he will take me down and get me to a space where he knows that I can get some aftercare if I need it, can curl up and even get a blanket or whatever I need and kind of decompress. So it's, very much sort of a cycle of healing almost for me. Like what you saw this past week, I'd had a crap week and he knew it and he took care of it. And then it was better.

Elle:

Well, I like when I see he will use. an instrument on you and you see your skin is pink and then he will very gently take his hand and brush that along you like to just kind of calm that sensation down for just a moment or just make you feel different and ready to transition into the next one. And I will agree. You came down off the cross and sat down and I know Jay was asking you questions and you're like, eh, no, I got nothing, don't. You know, like, you were just in this moment of complete serene and just so relaxed. Yeah, it takes a minute to get out of it. Like getting a good hour and a half massage where your whole body is just in another plane. And you see that that's how you finish off.

Cat (2):

Yeah.

Elle:

Yeah.

Cat (2):

So it's very much a Kind of a symbiotic relationship because he definitely gets pleasure from providing the pleasure. And yeah, it's just a really good space to be in. He is very gentle. I know it doesn't probably come across that way. I,

Elle:

I think it does, but I've, I've watched it a number of times. Probably the first couple of times people are like, Ooh, whoa, what are they, what are they doing?

Tramp:

In the past I've come across similar situations where It was obviously a scene and again, from someone who is not in the kink arena, to hear like a flail, like whistle and then impact.

Tramp (2):

Yeah.

Tramp:

I mean, I almost recoil because it's because I don't know admittedly and thinking, Oh my goodness. That was really hard.

Elle:

Well, and sometimes, what you two have, you've got your rhythm down and he is a very gentle person. I did at your party have him do a short scene on me and it was oddly very relaxing, but there are people who do it wrong and who can injure people. So if you don't have the right knowledge and the experience and the practice with somebody. You can hurt someone, and so that's where you have to be careful there too.

Tramp:

I would guess in parallel to the lifestyle, it is about trust and communication. If you really think about it. Oh, for sure. And even more so in a situation like you described, Kat. You have to have ultimate trust. And you have to be able to communicate if it does become too much.

Cat (2):

Yep.

Tramp:

Right.

Cat (2):

The first DOM that I connected with, on this journey was a sadistic Dom. Oh. And that was okay, but it's definitely not my preference. And I maintain a relationship with that person, but it wasn't going to be kink focused. There was no way it was going to continue to be kink focused, because that's not what I'm looking for. I'm not a masochist. I'm not interested in just having pain for the sake of pain. That's not what I'm looking for. But there are definitely, when you're talking about scenes that you've seen that look scripted, there definitely are. Like, if you go to a kink night at the big club downtown and they're running scenes there. Those are scripted, for sure. Therefore, our entertainment, what we do, and if my partner pulls somebody in who wants to have a little bit of a tasting or a scene, it's more fluid than that. It's not trying to get a certain reaction from an audience or anything like that. But I do know what you're talking about. We were I'm saying we with a different partner now, we were at Voodoo. in the springs and there was somebody doing a very, uncomfortable and painful looking scene, a female Dom and a male sub. And the male partner that I was with was along with several other males in particular in the room audibly gasping every every time. Certain things were happening. I'm uncomfortable with just you talking about it. I can only imagine. And it was his first time there and I had to kind of pull him aside and say, okay.

Elle:

This isn't normal.

Cat (2):

He's okay. He's enjoying this. So take a breath. Or step outside because you're gasping is really distracting. So yeah, it can be really uncomfortable to watch but

Elle:

But everybody everybody is different.

Cat:

Yeah,

Elle:

so everybody's got a different level Yep, never yuck somebody else's yum for sure. And so, it's just finding that Level that you're okay with with the partner that is listening and hearing you for sure.

Cat (2):

Yeah So yeah, the the kink side of it is it's big for me and I can't imagine being in a relationship where there was none of that. Or not having one of my relationships where there was none of that. And that's part of the, I guess, the joy of poly is if you're not getting that with one person you can find a complimentary person that you can, sure. Yeah.

Tramp:

Well, I'd like to think of it as boundaries and standards and bravo to you for finding what works for you and what clearly doesn't.

Cat (2):

Yep. Well, my current partner, this was completely new for him, and I actually approached him about it, because I had lost the top that I had been playing with, and just straight up asked my current partner, is this something that you would be willing to explore with me? And he said yes, so. Well,

Elle:

he took it seriously. And he's good at it. Yeah. So, yeah. No, it's. kind of magic to watch it happen. If you just understand that this is good for the person who it's being done to and just watching the different sensations, it's kind of beautiful. It isn't something that I just, you know, really in my wheelhouse, I will willing to try or, do it again. I would do it again. But it's, neat to watch it happen to someone else and it's really interesting to see with someone who's there on the cross and what the different sensations are doing to them. Seeing, a woman come hard and not even be able to barely hold herself up. She's so

Cat (2):

Yeah.

Elle:

Into it. Yes.

Cat (2):

Yeah. Yeah. Well, and there's definitely a piece of it from the book. perspective of being a single female who has a million things going on in her life of completely relinquishing all the control. Right. And being with someone that you trust enough to relinquish all of that control and just let them take care of you. So.

Elle:

That's a really beautiful point.

Tramp (2):

Yeah. Yeah.

Elle:

So tell me your favorite story, your best experience that you can think of in the last six years. That you go, yeah, if I look back, that's, that's the one that I really had such a great time at.

Cat (2):

So, actual specific experiences. I was just talking to a couple that they were the only people that I ever connected with in my tiny little teardrop camper. They know who, they know who they are. And this was at Orbis actually. And I would say one of my top experiences beyond that was also at Orbis just last year with my partner. But we were, there are so many funny stories, but we were at Orbis. We were camping there. They were set up in a tent with another couple. I was in my camper. I was solo at that point. This is right before I had met the current partner and I was actually with a different partner that I just started seeing. And I, I do what I want as a single female. I'm a bit more settled down now. But anyway, I went up by myself with my camper. I pulled my camper up. The couple that they were up there with fell asleep at 10 o'clock or something. So They were wide awake and they came knocking on the door of my camper at one in the morning, which those are not very big campers. No, it's tiny. That's about the size of two of these tables. Maybe if it's a, queen mattress and that was it. And he's, about six foot. She's. Not. But they said, can we come in? Can we come in? We're bored. And and there may have been some substances involved in this whole interaction, but they were not going to sleep. And they said, can we come in? And I'm like, yeah, come on in. So anyway, the three of us played in that camper, in all sorts of weird contortions, because there's not a lot of room, and that's the only couple I've ever, played with in there. It actually started to roll away.

Elle:

Oh, oh no, it did not. It

Cat (2):

did. It was very light, very, very light. Like I could pick the thing up and move it around if I needed to. So at one point it started to roll and we are.

Elle:

Like, this is great movement we've got going on, but

Cat (2):

we're also saying this doesn't seem safe. So, so he jumps out and goes and acquires a giant rock from a field and. Shoves it up against the wheel of the camper and comes back and he's like, we're good. We're good. And we just kept going So that was a super fun night, but to kind of dovetail off of that the bigger story for me in terms of favorite experiences is the community that you build with people that you would never otherwise interact with. So this is a couple that I never would have met, would have had no reason to meet who, they're still good friends of mine. And that is the thing that is the most enriching about this lifestyle, is the people that I have met and can just reach out to for things and have a conversation with or meet up with them again. And it's like you've been there. yesterday, the community, because we are so focused on communication and we're so focused on trust that you, connect with so many different kinds of people. And I really, really value all of those relationships. So that's the, the bigger picture in terms of that story. That's a

Elle:

beautiful way to put it. for sharing. I have one more question. You and I are both Older, we're over 50. When I met Jay and we started Lifestyle, I was 52. And as an older woman, what would, and we're not old, just let me correct that. But, you know, we're not 30, we're not 40. What is the benefit to being a woman over 50? And Getting into the lifestyle, however it is.

Cat (2):

So I think it's not just the age, but the stage at which we got into it. So hindsight is right. How many years did we miss? Dang it. Well, hindsight. So, but one of the biggest benefits is that I, after I went through the candy store phase, I will not settle and I tell. younger women who approach me that you shouldn't be settling either have your fun right. But, you don't ever have to settle. It's made me, I think that we have the benefit of years of observing relationships that work and relationships that crash and burn.

Tramp (2):

Mm-hmm

Cat (2):

Not just the ones that we're in, but watching our girlfriends and family members and all kinds of people, how these relationships are restrictive. So, I think just all of that experience just gives you so much more. Insight into what you want what you don't want correct, and I think that's huge and I get Younger women approaching me on a fairly regular basis, and I'm never sure what to do about it You probably get the same thing, but like 20 something Oh, yeah, whatever it at when we're out and about or we're out dancing or we're out at the club Coming up and basically saying, I want to be like you and in my head, it is a compliment, but then in my head, I'm saying, but it took me 30 years to figure it out. So, so if I can provide any sort of goal, I guess, for in terms of the way that I'm living my life now. Great. That's wonderful. I lost your question.

Elle:

I think you answered it there and I think in general, what a lot of the lifestyle is about is giving,

Cat:

yeah,

Elle:

so it's giving and sharing of information and when we meet new people at the ranch and they always have, a dozen questions and we're happy to answer them, and what have you done and how did you get into this? What did you do in this situation? You know? And. It helps them just hearing those stories that, Oh, okay. Oh, all right. There's, this is okay. This is normal. This is, Oh yeah, I've had those feelings before too. And this is what you should do. Talk about it. Always, always, always talk. Answers always talk about it. But I think it is a benefit because we aren't caught up in the younger still trying to figure out. Who they are and their life and everything we have all these life experiences so that we can now go I am enjoying my life. Yep. I deserve this. I want this and I want to move forward and Give

Cat (2):

yeah, I know what I want. I know what I enjoy But I also know that if it all fell apart tomorrow, I would be fine by myself, right? Oh, well, the other piece that, I mean, this isn't a benefit specifically, because I don't take advantage of it, and you probably don't either. But the 20 something males who proposition you online every week, because, they've heard that we know things. And the truth is we, we do.

Elle:

They're not wrong. My problem is I have a 31 year old son and I really have an issue. Anything small, younger than that? Nope, nope, nope. I can't, I cannot wrap my head around that.

Cat (2):

Well, I was in a really, really visible profession for 27 years where I could at any moment run into. someone that I dealt with in that profession. And that's always thrown me a little bit. Sure. But people started saying to me, if you're running into them here. Yeah. Exactly. They're here for the same reason that you are. They're there too. What are they going to do? Out you? Right? I was going to

Tramp:

say, I think that's a common fear, but it's, if you really break it down, it's mutually assured destruction. It's like, yeah, they're there for the exact same thing.

Elle:

It's weirdly awkward at first when, when you come across somebody but then all of a sudden you have this connection that you know,

Cat (2):

you know,

Elle:

I have, sorority sister from college who has been in the lifestyle. And after Jay and I started dating for a while, she reached out basically that she knew. And I was freaked out at first, like, Oh my gosh, what do I do? And Jay was like, well, if she's. talking about it to you. She knows. She understands. So it's fun to run into her. We usually go and have dinner with two other sorority sisters, actually having dinner with them Tuesday night, and they don't know. So then now she and I have this underlying

Tramp (2):

sort of

Elle:

story that they will never know and can't know, but a little wink here, a little Eyebrow up or it's kind of fun. Yeah, the secret secret world.

Cat (2):

Well, and there's just no question that I am happier and healthier and Just in a better place today than I have ever been That's in my life. So that's and That's to do with these relationships. That's to do with the community and it's to do with the growth That I've had to force myself to embark on, like, the work on myself because of being where I am. Right. So, yeah.

Tramp:

Excellent. Well, Kat, thank you so much for being open and just telling us about, own unique experiences. I think we all have them and it's really been a blessing to have you here.

Cat (2):

Well, thank you. Yeah, we appreciate it. This was great fun. So thank you for having me.

Tramp:

But guys, I'm going to pause real quick and tell you about one of our favorite sponsors, which is Shivers. Shivers is an edible CBD derived sensation enhancer. And there are two specialized formulas, one for men and one for women. And let me tell you, these things are amazing. For me, they usually kick in after 30 to 60 minutes. And not only do I get a nice energy boost, but every touch is magnified. It truly does send those wonderful shivers right down your spine. But it doesn't end there. Not only is my pleasure increased, but the next day I wake up feeling great, just not all groggy or hungover like if I had too much to drink during that event. At a lot of lifestyle events, I think this is going to replace alcohol for me. I feel good, I'm relaxed, and everything is just better, especially when I get a chance to play. I would love for you guys to try them out, and we've arranged a special discount at shivers. store on any of their products. Just use the coupon code US for Unapologetic Swingers at checkout for 10 percent off your entire order. A link can also be found on the website at www. unapologeticswingers. com And just please be sure to let us know what you think. It's pretty obvious we think they're awesome.

Elle:

So we actually got a an AMA the other day, so I'm going to read that out loud and then maybe the three of us can have some suggestions for these, this couple. Yes,

Tramp:

and thank you for whomever submitted that. It is very welcome because we haven't gotten one in quite some time. So guys, please send those to us.

Elle:

Yes. Dear unapologetic swingers, we are married. Mid 30s couple in the Midwest. We don't have any clubs in our town per se, but we have been invited to a house party. What advice would you give us? What should we know? What should we watch out for? This is our first lifestyle event. So not having much more information about their background and how they decided to get into the lifestyle. I think there's some basic things that you and your partner can have in your back pocket to just, navigate this, first situation.

Tramp:

Well, I'm gonna kind of lay the scene just like a lot of couples that decide to dip their toes into the lifestyle. There's gonna be nerves involved. There's gonna be a lot of questions, a lot of uncertainty. Right out of the gate. So as we've said, even during this exact episode, communicate, you have to talk, you have to set your boundaries and stick to them.

Elle:

Yes. And, I think it's a benefit to listen to a number of different podcasts beforehand. So many of those. People will tell their stories of, success stories, but also like we talk about the good, bad, and the ugly is everybody's messed up somewhere or had a situation and come back out of that going, Ooh, we don't want to do that again. It is helpful to listen to those stories and to discuss ahead of time, okay, if this situation comes up. How are we going to handle it, so that you're not afraid or you're not, kind of caught off guard before you go into it. Right.

Cat (2):

Well, and while going in without any expectations that you're going to play at all.

Elle:

Correct.

Cat (2):

Still having set boundaries about if something does come up, what are we okay with, just in case. Because you don't want to be in a situation where. A couple does approach you or a single does approach you and do they want to play with both of us? Do they want to play with one of us? What do we do? We need to go in a corner and have a conversation. Well, have that conversation as much as you can before you even get there. So you have a baseline of what you are comfortable with and what you're not comfortable with.

Elle:

And I think you bring up a good point is to go in without expecting that you're going to have sex with somebody else that puts a lot of pressure on you. That makes you more nervous. I think if you go in and say to each other, okay, let's meet two new people and find out more about them. And that helps you to feel more comfortable about what's going on. But at any point, if one of you is not comfortable, if one of you is not feeling right, if one of you just isn't feeling the vibe and you say it's time to go, no harm, no foul, you go. Because, as Jay likes to say, the most important relationship in that room is not you and that orgasm you're going to have, it's you and your partner and you have to go home with them and that's where your priority needs to be. Absolutely. I

Tramp:

think you've said previously, Elle, that you go into these situations having no sex expectations.

Elle:

Yes. That's my favorite

Tramp:

one. And you really want to just go in with a good attitude and you're there to have a good time with your partner. Correct. Well, however that looks to you, but you're going in to have a good time and I would also tag on that on top of a close second to communicating beforehand. Don't overindulge. Oh,

Elle:

yes, because it's so

Tramp:

common to have that new couple and you just see there and one or both of them is just downing the drinks one after another, trying to get that

Elle:

courage

Tramp:

up. Yeah. A little liquid,

Elle:

a little bit of liquid courage is okay, but

Tramp:

not a whole bottle.

Elle:

But too much. And it comes down. It's a topic for all of us consent. is so huge in the lifestyle community. And it's about having the ability to say no if you, if you wanted to. And if you've overindulged because you were so nervous, those are the people that we will talk to nicely, but nothing will ever happen. Because if somehow down the line they regret, Oh, I didn't mean to do that. You've stepped over a boundary. That person needs to be cognizant and willing to give consent.

Cat (2):

Absolutely. I guess the one other thing that I would say is that house parties are amazing for people watching and they're amazing for kind of soaking in what does this even look like? So So, not going in with the expectations for sure, but if you're going in with the hope that you will at least get to see how things work and get a feel for things, that's absolutely fine for a first experience. Yeah. Just go and watch. Go see what's happening.

Elle:

I've never been to a a house party where people were expected to play.

Cat (2):

Right.

Elle:

They understand, especially if you're new, that you may just wanna watch and observe. And get a feel for it. And that in itself can be sexy as hell. Absolutely. And you go home and enjoy yourselves and you're like, all right, this'll work. Yeah. Yeah.

Tramp:

Love it. Well, everyone, thank you guys so much for just continuing to come on this journey. And it's really cool to see some of the back end stuff, some of the analytics where it's not just people in the United States, but it's. truly people from all around the world that listen so from the bottom of our hearts thank you so much if you would like to reach out to us even just to say hi or ask us a question we can be reached at unapologeticswingers at gmail. com. Our website is also www. unapologeticswingers. com. There you can listen to the most recent episode or find links to our partners. But really what we're gonna ask is wherever you happen to be listening to us, just leave us a quick review that helps us get the word out more than anything else

Elle:

for sure. And I have to say after last episode, you and I dug into the analytics of where people were. listening to us and we had to look some of these countries up like we had no idea and I really, really want to dig into where it is and if we see somebody in the obscure country or obscure town, listening again, hoping it's the same, but might be more than one person. But we do really appreciate it and it's very fun.

Tramp:

Yeah.

Elle:

Yeah.

Tramp:

Makes you feel good.

Elle:

Yeah. Well, until next time, I'm L and

Tramp:

I'm the tramp.

Elle:

Be sexy,

Tramp:

be confident,

Elle:

be unapologetic.