Unapologetic Swingers

Unapologetic Swingers: Episode 18 - All about Orgies!

• Unapologetic Swingers • Season 1 • Episode 18

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 The Tramp and Elle talk Orgies! Our own experiences and pro tips. You won't want to miss this one.

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Elle:

Welcome back to Unapologetic Swingers. I'm L

Tramp:

and I'm the Tramp. Guys, wE're just so thankful you've chosen to join us again, and just a little bit about the podcast. This is just. Our stories and adventures and things that we have experienced throughout our own unique lifestyle journey.

Elle:

Couple of friends getting together and chatting about their experiences.

Tramp:

Sometimes they're parallels. Sometimes it's not so much. But anyway, I'm so thankful to have Elle back with me once again.

Elle:

Very happy to be here. It's been a couple of weeks and it has been kind of missed it.

Tramp:

It's amazing how it becomes part of your routine almost. And when it's not there, you feel like something's missing.

Elle:

I know. I mean, the podcast with Dr. John was great, but I was sad not to be a part of it. I'll be Okay. Well next time. Yeah. Right.

Tramp:

So everyone, today we are talking orgies.

Elle:

Ooh, orgies.

Tramp:

So an entire episode just dedicated to that. And. Why don't we just jump right in l with some unapologetic stories and we'll go from there.

Elle:

For sure, for sure. As we were talking with each other about topics to talk about on the show, this one kept coming up and we had a lot of questions. At first, it was what constitutes an orgy?

Tramp:

Yeah. How many people, how many couples? Right.

Elle:

And according to the worldwide web, it's. Anything, five or more people in a group.

Tramp:

Okay,

Elle:

so makes sense. Two couples be a foursome, three people would be a threesome. You hit five and you hit that orgy. So it could be five, it could be 10, it could be a crazy number. And Jay and I have had over the last five years have had a few experiences with. Some orgy situations. The first one that came to mind was early on in our. Lifestyle adventures. We had been talking with another couple and had met with them once. This was kind of towards the end of Covid and we were invited to their house which we knew straight up was gonna be an orgy. And it was, it was very fun. The anticipation was incredible.

Tramp:

I was gonna say, did the hostess open the door and just simply say, welcome to the orgy.

Elle:

I don't know.'cause she opened the door in lingerie and it was sexy as fuck. And so we just sort of jumped, you know, came in, But they had really set up their living room area with a number of inflatable beds and mattresses even so much as having a full-blown unicorn pool. Floaty. Like a floaty. Yeah. Big floaty, you know, that you would put your entire body into Yeah. And, and that was there just for fun and, and toys everywhere. And so you just kind of walked around knowing that it was going to be an interesting evening,

Tramp:

sounds it?

Elle:

Yes. And I wanna say, I think it was about nine people total. And we knew. Most of them. There was one couple that came later that we didn't know, but we already had some familiarity with everybody, which I think sometimes makes it a little bit more comfortable. Mm-hmm. To start with, and granted this was five years ago, but I just remember there was an immense amount of playing on, the individual. Surfaces and just moving from one bed to another, and as one situation kind of finished off and turning and looking and watching a number of other people playing around, and the intertwining of the arms and the legs and the body parts, and I think the end sort of culminated on a mattress on the floor where I believe all of us were, and in some shape or form. Working our way around each other. Right. Yeah.

Tramp:

It's fun. At least in my experience, when those situations, they just flow. Obviously there needs to be. I guess group attraction or you have to be attracted, mm-hmm. Attracted enough to yes, to everyone in the group where you're willing to play and obviously not take one for the team or whatnot. Well,

Elle:

and that is an interesting question that I've heard somebody else bring up before, is if you're in that kind of an orgy situation and you don't find somebody attractive, are you obligated to play with them?

Tramp:

Realistically, I would say no.

Elle:

I mean, you're always able, should always be able to give consent or not consent. Correct. But what is the proper etiquette for letting someone know it's so awkward?

Tramp:

It would be awkward, and I would probably say it would start with a nonverbal.

Elle:

Yeah.

Tramp:

Where, if someone tries to pull you in and, and you resist, I mean, most people are gonna be like, okay, I. No harm, no foul.

Elle:

I think a polite, no thank you. Is in order. Sure. Yeah.

Tramp:

And that's something just more broadly speaking, the lifestyle as I've experienced it, is you have to be able to handle rejection. Right. And not take it personally. Exactly.'cause sometimes

Elle:

it could be someone has facial hair or they don't have facial hair or

Tramp:

too much hair, huh?

Elle:

Yeah. Yes, there are those. But you never know. But I think, yeah, if there's something we've definitely learned over the years is not to take that rejection as a personal affront. Right.

Tramp:

But it can be very difficult early on.

Elle:

Yeah.

Tramp:

Where I don't think. It could be something even, even from our own childhood, depending on how dotting your parents were and Yeah. Being told no.

Elle:

Right. I don't want to hear that. It's like, what

Tramp:

is that word? I, I don't understand that word. Especially when you're

Elle:

really horny and somebody turns you on to get a No thank you. But I think the important thing is to not internalize it and to the beauty of being in a group situation like that is that you turn and you find somebody who is interested in you. Mm-hmm. You know. Very

Tramp:

true.

Elle:

So, I dunno, that's just my thoughts.

Tramp:

No, but that sounds like fun. Just everybody ending up on the same mattress and

Elle:

Yeah, we have, we have some photos of it. I should have pulled them up before we started doing this, but I have some in my head. I'm pointing to my head. But of what it was like, and just the different scenarios. I think there was one moment that our wonderful hostess was sitting on top of a gentleman on his cock facing out from the sofa. So he's sitting on the sofa and she's fi facing out. Mm-hmm. And, he's just slowly going in and out and I was feeling so good and the endorphins were flowing so well. I just sort of crawled up to them and started licking her clits. Oh, wow. As they were fucking and. We definitely have pictures of that. It was so hot and it's like you could just hear everybody sort of stopped around us and that's what they call the show stopper. Yes, yes. And just started watching as this happened and yeah, that was, that was pretty awesome. You know, I think you find yourself maybe in situations that you never even dreamed you would be in.

Tramp:

I would have to say you're 100% correct there.

Elle:

Yeah.

Tramp:

So the one that comes to mind the first time that we were in an orgy was we have mentioned these couples before and it's the two Vegas couples. Mm-hmm. And it was our second trip to Vegas and a lot more prepared this time. Right. We were still so a soft swap couple. Mm-hmm. And we had some drinks with these guys, had a good time and then all six of us. So it was three couples, all in all. And yeah, the men were handsome. The, women were drop dead gorgeous.

Elle:

Oh, must have been a really sexy scene. It,

Tramp:

it was, and I had enough foresight to bring the lighting kit. So whenever I travel, I like to take, LED candles. Oh, yes. Or little battery powered candles, atmosphere. You get'em on on Amazon. Yeah. This is strictly atmosphere.

Yeah.

Tramp:

As well as these LED floodlights that you can put in corners and change the color. So of course red go figure. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And, of course you have music, so it's just set up in a sexy scene. We hit the room and, we were still soft swap at the time. The, the two other couples were full swap.

Elle:

That's interesting. I'm interested to hear how this pans out. So

Tramp:

Well, everything was respectful. Everything was above board. There weren't any pushing a boundaries. Mm-hmm. But the three women just started with each other and the guys were just. Watching. Just watching. Like, I, I realize how creepy that sounds, but when, but when it's

Elle:

your loved ones like that. It's not, it's sexy. Oh, it's so, it was so

Tramp:

sexy. Yeah. And just watching them play for a little bit and interact and, the sounds and the sight and everything. And it's funny, the guys are, we're so quiet'cause we don't want to break the spell

Elle:

Right, for sure.

Tramp:

And. Then the, girls were like, well, maybe we should invite the guys in. And yeah, our room had a, had a big old king size bed and, we all climbed up on there it was so much fun because from my perspective, just the flow of everything and how you would switch off and us being a soft swap it was so much fun. And the grand finale, at least for me was with my previous partner writing me while. One of the other girls was writing my face.

Oh. And

Tramp:

then the two girls were making out while, so it was, yeah, that's always a

hot one.

Tramp:

It was amazing from what I could see and, but from definitely what I heard was heard. Yes, it was yeah, it was incredible is the best way I can put it.

Elle:

So I'm thinking about this in my head. You've got two other couples and they are full swap and you two are soft swaps. So. What you're able to do with the other ladies and your partner. Well, partner, of course you can go full on. Yes. But with the other two is just oral and kissing and touching and all that, just no penetration. Correct. Correct. Right. So when you are just so worked up that you have to, then you had her. Mm-hmm. And that reconnected you guys back together. Right. In that situation. And I think there's nothing wrong with that.

Tramp:

Then the other memory that comes to mind is, and I think I still have a picture of this, where after all is said and done and you're looking out over the Vegas strip one of the girls went and put her boobs up against the floor length windows, and, just pressed. And her husband took a picture of her from behind. The next morning as the sun is shining through. I'm like, those are blueprints on the windows.

Elle:

Did you take a picture of that?

Tramp:

I did.

Elle:

Excellent.'cause when are you, when else are you gonna get that? Right. Right. And I am pretty sure that that is not the first time that the cleaning staff has come across blueprints on their windows.

Tramp:

No, I'm sure not.

Elle:

Yes. Is Vegas. It

Tramp:

is Vegas. Yeah.

Elle:

We had a interesting orgy situation once a couple years ago. There was a couple that comes in from out of town I wanna say South Dakota. So they come from a little bit of ways, but they come to the ranch fairly often. Okay. And they had set up for was another couple us, I think it was three couples. Okay. We made notes here, three couples, and then two single men. And this orgy was to take place at 8:00 AM on a Saturday morning.

Tramp:

Oh wow.

Elle:

Was it eight or maybe 10? It might have been 10:00 AM

Tramp:

It's, well, the, I'm still stuck on the 8:00 AM part. 8:00 AM

Elle:

Right. Never ever have I heard anyone else do this. And so we were like, sure. So we show up. You're leaving the ranch early'cause you gotta get up early to go to an orgy. Right. Is. A whole other thought process. And we've actually done this with this couple twice, and I think they've done it a couple other times we've heard from other people, but you walk in and they had mimosas and everyone's sitting around and just talking. I think for the most part, we all knew each other. And one situation, we didn't know the other single guy. And we may not have known the couple, but you get to know people really well right off. And I think it's important to have that time, especially people don't know each other yet to talk, to socialize, to get to know each other, to, to break the, ice a little bit and to kind of warm up to, how things are going. And we were. Playing for hours and they had two queen size beds and they were leaving at 11 o'clock, so you don't mind messing up the beds. Right. And there's different numbers and playing and as being, three women and five men. Five men, I liked those odds. I got plenty of places you can put stuff anyway. And so yeah, it was sexy, it was hot. I'm alert. I'm much better in the morning anyway. Mm-hmm. you don't have the hours of possible drinking and the impossible impairment, so you're pretty fresh and everybody's feeling really good. And then we were done by noon and we went to, I think it was five guys or something, had a burger and then came home and then had this whole rest of the day to do stuff. It was actually, I thought that was a pretty good idea.

Tramp:

That's interesting,

Elle:

right? It

Tramp:

it is. I I'm still a little stuck on the AM thing just because we're, so accustomed with, all the clubs are nighttime. Yeah. Unless it's a Sunday fun day, which is more of a social event.

Yeah.

Tramp:

But. It's usually in the evening, even, even if you're meeting a another couple. Mm-hmm. Just to, have a drink and see if there's test the water. Actual attraction, it's still gonna be in the evening,

Elle:

right? Yeah. It's not often. I mean, sometimes you might do a coffee, we've met a single guy for coffee before, like in the middle of the workday or something. Mm-hmm. But it's, it's unusual. Yeah. But the 10:00 AM start time was. Definitely.

Tramp:

Now, would you say in that scenario you would prefer it or it's just a nice change of pace?

Elle:

You know, I'll tell you what, if I was gonna be in that situation again, I would prefer to maybe even meet for the drinks and the snacks and the warmup at like six, and then start playing about seven and being done about nine. I'm not a late night person. And so for me, I'm gonna be a little bit more alert and not, possibly sitting in the corner half snoozing. If I could start a little earlier, and I've heard that from a lot of people, it's like, actually I really like the parties that start on the earlier side, you know, as opposed to, okay, we're gonna start at nine and then about 11 we're gonna start playing. And I'm like, I am going to be asleep. Mm-hmm. So can we maybe do something different? Yeah.

Tramp:

On a similar tilt, there are some clubs again in Vegas where they don't allow play. Right. And they're, and honestly they're the better clubs in Vegas. Right. But they have, I think they open at eight or nine at night. Yeah. And then the playrooms open at 11.

Elle:

Right. Yeah. We're going to Vegas in a couple of weeks and I think we'll probably hit some of the clubs. Mm-hmm. We're going for a, a wedding, a lifestyle wedding with a couple that we met from the uk. They're flying out to meet with their US friends to Oh, that sounds fantastic. By Elvis. And so I have a feeling there'll be some club hitting, so that'll be interesting to see. Mm-hmm. I guess I'll be taking a lot of naps in the afternoon.

Tramp:

Sounds perfect.

Elle:

Right. You just gotta plan for it, that's all. Yeah.

Tramp:

All right, and I think I am going to wrap up on my orgy stories with, I had alluded to this when, a previous episode when we talked about organic play uhhuh, and this was one of those things where, again, it, it was a curated group. Honestly, we were going there just to hang out. We, this, this couple had a beautiful house and. Yeah, and it was semi-private and a pool, and it was summertime and it was just a, fantastic time. But as happens, when you're swimming and drinking and socializing and eating, touching and, yeah, it's, it's flirting. The sexual tension just gets ramped up. And let me preface this. This is. I wanna say that there were at least five or six couples.

Elle:

That's 10. That's a lot to people. So 10 to 12

Tramp:

people. And again, I have to think, at least from my perspective, there was attraction all around.

Elle:

Mm-hmm.

Tramp:

Which is great.

Elle:

Yeah. I

Tramp:

mean, it's, hard enough getting a four-way connection.

Elle:

Right.

Tramp:

Versus I could have seen us at the time. Potentially doing a double date with any of the couples there. Right. Which was pretty, pretty awesome to be honest.

Elle:

This is fabulous Odds. Yeah.

Tramp:

But just as I said in that episode, I think there was that underlying sexual tension you know, in these situations, oftentimes there's just a spark or a fire starter.

Elle:

Oh, yes. We've talked about the fire starter.

Tramp:

Yes. So in this scenario there was one gal who really liked her champagne. Sure. And she even more so liked to dip cocks and champagne and then lick the champagne off, said cock.

Elle:

Oh, well. And who's gonna say no to that?

Tramp:

It is rather bracing when you first dip in the champagne from a male perspective, let's just say. Ah, good to know.

Elle:

Good to know.

Tramp:

Of course all the guys are like, yeah, I'll do it. Line

up. I'm mixed. Yep.

Tramp:

Line up and of course all the girls, they're like, yeah, let me try that Uhhuh. And then it just, it evolved from there and it was really sexy and being able to. Honestly to, to play with multiple women in the same session. Yeah. And how it flowed.

Yeah.

Tramp:

It was, I think I have to say that group play of that nature is probably my favorite.

Elle:

Right. There's something about you're focusing on one person. Someone else or someone else's are touching you. Mm-hmm. In other parts, you don't even know who it is. And you're, you have to just be in the moment. You can't overthink it. No. You can't go, well wait, I'm gonna do this over here with them and then go do this with them as like, oh, okay, well I'm gonna just move over here to this person because that's really fun. And you know, you don't, you get caught up in the moment like that. Yeah.

Tramp:

If, you see something.

Elle:

Play with it. Yeah, play with it. I've, got, well I've got several others, but I'm gonna just do one other that I have that a couple years ago. We were coming up on New Year's Eve and it's one of those big nights at the ranch and one, one

Tramp:

of this that, along with Halloween, I would call the, the lifestyle or the Swinger, high Holidays, if you will.

Elle:

I called them the High Holidays the other day too, because it's like h Halloween's, the big one, the New Year's Eve. And then Valentine's Day is really big and every time we go for Valentine's, I love New Year's Eve and Valentine's Day because everybody. Kind of dresses up to the next level. You'll see Jay will wear his tux and women are in longer dresses or more formal, and there's just this air of sexy sophistication Yes. In it. And that's just really fun. But we also know it's one of those times where it gets super crowded

Tramp:

Yes.

Elle:

And hot and. You can't even hear'cause there's so much noise and everything. So we had kind of planned ahead that about 10 o'clock we would have spoken with a co, a couple of couples that we found interesting and I think some of the people we had planned ahead of time as well. To just come back to our house. We live five minutes away, which. Super handy, but does mean that we're there a lot, not complaining. And so we had, set up the house, our bedroom we have king size bed and then blew up the queen mattress and then had the massage table in between the beds and it wound up being four couples. And then we had a single guy that wasn't at the ranch, but we had told him about that, what we were gonna do. And he said, I'd love to come to that. So he just. Showed up at 10 o'clock, and it was interesting. It was the first orgy for a good friend of mine. She played a lot, but mm-hmm. She had never been to an orgy and, I think she was a, a little nervous, it's the least common denominator. Make that person feel the most comfortable. Like, of course, how does this start? What do we do? Where does it? And then all of a sudden she turns around and you've got a couple of people kissing and pulling each other's clothes off and, and starting. She's like, oh, okay. And went from there. So, you have three different surfaces. I think we had the sex swing up too. But sometimes that's just more humorous than anything else to try and maneuver that. And then everybody sort of played around and touched each other and. At one point, I think I was on the massage table with one person at one end and another at the other. Our friend who had never been in an orgy, she was on the bed towards the end of the evening on the queen size inflatable with Jay and the single man. But really they were just. Touching. So it was slow strokes on the body and you're feeling, four sets of hands. Yeah. Very

Tramp:

erotic. Very, very

Elle:

erotic. And it was just neat to see her relax into it and see the joy of having multiple, multiple people touching and playing with you. Mm-hmm. And it having the attention of two or three. Guys at one time or two or three women, or two guys and a woman or whatever it is, it's just that flow is so relaxing.

Tramp:

Yeah. And everyone's on the same page. Mm-hmm. And you're right, you have to be in a relaxed state to take advantage of it. You really, the reality of an orgy is you and your partner are going to get separated. Right.

Elle:

Yeah. If there's, I think it's the chance, obviously

Tramp:

the, the more people, the more play surfaces might

Elle:

be different rooms. It might be, it could be, yeah. Multiple areas. And, and that's a good conversation to have before, okay, do we need to stay in the same room? Or if one of us is invited to go to a different room, are we okay with that? And that's been an evolving thing for us. At first it's like, no. And we're together. Mm-hmm. And then that's gone into, no, I know how you feel about so and so and so and so and so and so, and if you get an opportunity and you guys get a little alone time, that's fine too. Yeah. But that conversation something else I was thinking about with, I guess, etiquette. At an orgy. We did go to one didn't really quite turn into the orgy that we were thinking of, but at the beginning of the night after everybody had socialized for a little while, they brought everybody down into the basement. Everybody had, it was a nice basement. It was finished, but sounded, sounded a little creepy for a second there. I was gonna say, it

Tramp:

puts a lotion on the skin type of basement. Right,

Elle:

exactly. But everybody sort of sat in a circle and. Went around the room, said their names, said their, you know, their Cassidy names. So kind of keep track, not that you're gonna remember by the end of the night. It's a bunch of people you don't know. But then also what you're into and anything you're not okay with for that night. Like there was a woman who was going through some physical issues and she's like, I'm really just gonna watch and, and play. Another woman was, I'm just into women tonight, so if you are not familiar with. The play styles that the people you're with mm-hmm. Or they're new and you don't know them or, or whatever. It is not a bad idea to do that so that you don't have any of that miscommunication or stepping over a boundary. Because truthfully, in my mind, in an orgy, a fair amount goes, maybe not everything goes, but a fair amount goes and you're kind of doing. Implying consent.

Tramp:

I would agree there

Elle:

unless you are very specific. So if you've got a specific thing that you're not okay with or for that night or in general for your as a couple, you need to say that at the beginning.

Tramp:

Yes. Just as we always preach, communication is key. I think we have a key and it's, and it's not only between you and your partner but whoever you're playing with, right? You have to have the agency in yourself to say, yeah, this is okay, or I want more of that, or No thank you.

Elle:

Right. Exactly. Exactly. And so that's just my 2 cents on the things that I think that. You kind of have to pay attention to. Mm-hmm. And not a bad idea to have some snacks for later.'cause people will be a little snacky

Tramp:

I have a feeling we're launching right into the unapologetic honesty here. Yeah. But that's okay. Another thing with orgies is that. Everyone has their own timeframe, right? Where if one of the guys needs a break or finishes early and he, goes and gets a snack, goes and get a drink and just comes back to watch before, reengaging.

Yeah.

Tramp:

You'll find that oftentimes these can extend a significant amount of time.

Yeah.

Tramp:

But the people will kind of cycle in and, and out if they need a break or, whatever,

Elle:

right? And that's what's really cool is that, it's not like okay, this is a four hour orgy and you're in for the whole time. You come and go, you. You get a snack, you go to the bathroom, you regroup, you rehydrate, there's all those things that, that towel off need to have a towel off, jump in the shower, whatever you need is acceptable.

Tramp:

Mm-hmm. And then once it finally concludes, it's kind of cool, like everyone's just kind of lounging around you

Elle:

get that little bond. Yeah, exactly. And, and oh my gosh. The cuddle puddles. I love the cuddle puddles when it's all done. And I have a tendency to tap out early and I'll just sit and watch. And I always love it when, someone will maybe, snuggle up behind me and just, we're just snuggling as we're watching everybody else. Mm-hmm. And then you start getting more people and then everybody's just sort of in that happy glow.

Tramp:

Yeah. Euphoric.

Elle:

Yeah. Yeah. Highly recommended five stars.

Tramp:

Fantastic.

Elle:

Yeah,

Tramp:

well we did get an A MA this week, but first I'm gonna tell you guys about shivers. Shivers is an edible CBD derived sensation enhancer, and there are two specialized formulas, one for men and one for women. And let me tell you, these things are amazing for me. They kick in after 30 to 60 minutes, and not only do I get a really nice energy boost. Every touch is magnified. It truly does send those wonderful shivers right down your spine, but it doesn't end there. Not only is my pleasure increase, but the next day I just wake up feeling great, not at all groggy or hungover. In many instances, this may actually replace alcohol for me at lifestyle events. I feel good. I'm relaxed and everything is better, especially when I get a chance to play. We would love for you guys to try them out and we've arranged a special discount at Shivers store on any of their products. Just use the coupon code us for unapologetic swingers at checkout for 10% off your entire order. A link can also be found on our website. Just be sure to let us know what you think. It's obvious. We think they're pretty awesome.

Hmm.

Elle:

We got our first fam letter

Tramp:

we did from a new couple that is listening from Canada. So thank you guys so much.

Elle:

Yes, we were very excited. I mean, when. When Tramp sent it over, we were like, y feeling like little kids, but it was really cool. So titled, so happy to have found you and we are new to the lifestyle, brand new one Trip to Hido and one trip to our local club as green as can be. I am absolutely in love with your podcast. The Tramp and l have such a lovely energy and vibe together, and with Jay's humor sprinkled in, I'm hooked. As a Canadian, it makes me wanna visit the ranch in Colorado. Thank you for what you do, and if you do come out, then please let us know. We'd love to meet up with you, but she did also follow up with some questions, so let's take a look at what those are. This is interesting. Do you all share your lifestyle with friends or is it all kept secret? That's a big one. For me, I have a handful of friends that know and I'm always. Thinking. Okay, is it somebody who's gonna judge? No. Is it someone who's gonna use this against me at some point? No. Or, with one of'em, it was a friend that when Jay and I first started dating

mm-hmm.

Elle:

You know, and I wasn't planning on getting married again and, not looking for anything serious. I told her at our weekly dinner and I'd hoped that she would ask questions over the years. She hasn't, I think that she would get a lot out of it being in the lifestyle as a single woman. Mm-hmm. I think that she would find that people are warm and open and friendly, but I cannot push it on her.

Tramp:

Of course not.

Elle:

And so it's only occasionally I'll throw something out to her and tell her something, but I kind keep that on the down low. And then another friend that we get together and have dinner every couple of months. We used to work together. And we had been at a Mexican restaurant and enjoyed several margaritas and had been there for like three hours. I think that's more than several margaritas and just

Tramp:

came out.

Elle:

But luckily it's a person who, is under understanding and accepting and she's like, okay, I get it. Makes sense. And, I'd love again. I would love to have these friends be part of the lifestyle. Mm-hmm. You can't force anything on anybody. And then the other person I had was a. About a year after Jay and I started dating, I had posted some pictures on Facebook of us, it was like our year anniversary and I was just saying something nice and there was a picture of the first time I went to the ranch and it was steampunk night and it was a picture of the two of us against one of the walls, which is, this used to be a a steakhouse. Mm-hmm. You know, it's a little like log cabin looking. Rustic and she takes a screenshot of that photo, texts it to me. This is a sorority sister of mine from college. Okay. And she texts it to me and says, where was this taken? And all. I'm freaking out and I'm texting Jay and he's like, she's asking, she probably knows, and I'm like, I don't know. I don't know what to do with this. I don't know what to do with this. I don't know. And so I sent back, I'm like, well, was it a party at a restaurant? She's like, I think I've been to that restaurant. And I'm like, oh. I go, okay, this is a bigger conversation. Is most likely gonna need a bottle of wine? Wink. And so. We did talk about it and found out that when she was divorced 10 years before she started into the lifestyle it's been something that she, has kind of been in and out and part of her life. And so when we go to dinner with our other two. Sorority sisters who are not in the lifestyle. Mm-hmm. We have a tendency to do a few of those, wink, wink, nudge, nudge conversations, and then have a tendency to, after the other two have left, Hey, do you want to have another drink? And just get caught up on things. So it's always fun to do that. But other than that, no one in my vanilla world knows

Tramp:

I'm the same way in this essence of. It's always been separate. I've found having distinct lifestyle friends very liberating. Yes. You can talk about anything you can. I don't wanna say do anything'cause that's incorrect, but No, but the, the conversations, even if you go out to a vanilla dinner mm-hmm. You know, just go out for drinks. The conversations you can have so much more open are so much more open. So much more fun. Yes. Admittedly, I get kind of bored with vanilla friends now Does

Elle:

happen. It does, it does happen.

Tramp:

But those are two worlds that do not cross. Yeah. For me. Yeah. I'm absolutely certain, at some point I'm gonna run across someone somewhere that I know in my personal life. And the way that I have always approached that is I don't fear it. I know it's gonna happen eventually, but they're there for the same reason as you are. Right. You said

Elle:

they're there, you're, you know. Yeah. Yeah.

Tramp:

So they have as much interest. In keeping it on the down low, you

Elle:

would think Yes.

Tramp:

Theoretically, as you do.

Elle:

Yes.

Tramp:

And of course, that can be a whole, new friendship, a new bond.

Elle:

Right.

Tramp:

Again, that wink wink nod. Nod.

Elle:

Yeah.

Tramp:

But yeah, for me, historically those two worlds do not cross over.

Elle:

I thought of another person too. A friend from high school when Jay and I first started dating he was in town, he lives in Dallas. Mm-hmm. And he was up in town and he said, Hey, let's get together and, and have dinner. And I'm like, okay. And I was telling about this new guy that I was seeing and all that. And I think at that point, again, I was a little whimsical about it. And I said something about being in the lifestyle and he looked at me and went. I've been in the lifestyle for a while now. So it was like, you get this whole other level of conversations that you wouldn't normally have with somebody. Right. And so that's been kind of interesting over the years and, it's nice to have that, someone else to understand some of the things that you're going through. Mm-hmm. What you're doing. Mm-hmm. So, and then, well my hairdresser, I did come out to my hairdresser the other day because well, a couple ago. Oh, you're just racking him up, aren't you? I know, my God. And I had just been telling Jay,'cause he was getting his hair cut that same day. And I'm like, you cannot tell him because I used to work with his husband and he still works with people that I used to manage. Okay. And I'm like, oh, come on, you just, I, hmm. Couple of beers in and I can just see this coming out. But I was sitting in the chair and we were talking about going on the Bliss cruise, and he's like, well, you know, I'd stay away from the doors that have the upside down pineapples on him. And I just sort of gave him this look like and he goes, oh my God. I am not surprised, but then it opened up a whole other level of conversation. So of course it was when I was under the heat lamps and Jay comes in to get his hair cut. I had to pull him aside and say, okay, I spilled the beans. What? Yes I did. He now knows. But I think in a way it kind of helped my hairdresser to know and understand us and feel a closer bond and, be able to have, be able to talk about other things.

Tramp:

There will always be people that can accept it or simply cannot,

Elle:

right? Yes. And you just have to be really careful of who. Mm-hmm. That is, I'd say. Yeah. Well, that

Tramp:

was a good question. That was a good little conversation there. Yeah.

Elle:

We might have to save some of our other questions for another days, unless somebody sends us a question. Yes, I'm talking to you

Tramp:

dear listener.

Elle:

Well, great.

Tramp:

Well guys, thank you so much for continuing to come on this journey with us, and it's just been so much fun just to keep this ball rolling. Yeah. And. Wherever you guys are listening to us, just leave us a review. That's our biggest ask.

Elle:

Yes.

Tramp:

If you need to reach out to us, it's unapologetic swingers@gmail.com and our website is www.dotunapologeticswingers.com. And there you can find the link to shivers and an email link and a couple other goodies.

Elle:

You know, I did go on my Amazon music a couple of weeks ago and. In one of their little scrolling top notifications. It had the PO. A podcast they were highlighting or something, and it was us. Ooh. That was kind of exciting. That is. That's pretty awesome. That was really that, that, you know, I don't know if that's taking the algorithm of me and what I listened to or what, but it was still kind of exciting to see. That is awesome. I love that. Yeah. Wow. So until next time, I'm l

Tramp:

and I'm the tramp.

Elle:

Be sexy,

Tramp:

be confident.

Elle:

Be unapologetic.