Unapologetic Swingers

Unapologetic Swingers: Episode 21 - All Girls Show Part 1

• Unapologetic Swingers • Season 1 • Episode 21

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While the Tramp is away, Elle will play! Buckle in for an all girls episode.

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Elle:

Welcome back to Unapologetic Swingers. I'm Al, and today we have a very special episode. While Tramp is away, L will play. Tramp is off having his own sexy adventures in Mexico. And I snag the equipment and I'm going rogue. And actually the funny story is, we already recorded this, but we didn't hit the record button, so we're gonna do it again. Welcome to episode 21. The All Girls Show. I have brought together two of my favorite women, and we have a list of questions to discuss to get the female opinion about the lifestyle. What I have noticed over the years is that there's no cookie cutter way to explore the lifestyle. Everyone's story is different and everyone's story is just right for them. We can have open conversations like we can't have with most of our vanilla friends, and we can talk about the sexy stuff, the deep stuff, and ask questions of each other to help with our journeys, and that's what we are doing here today. So with no further ado, I would like to introduce Nikki and Polly and can you please take a moment to introduce yourself and give a short description of how you got into the lifestyle and what you're looking for.

Nikki:

Hi everyone. I'm Nikki and I have been in the lifestyle probably about two years now with my current partner. I was in the lifestyle with my ex. And it was more of a trying to save the marriage equation of trying to get into the lifestyle, trying to spice a marriage up that was basically not repairable anymore. And so it's been a journey because like I said at the beginning, I was with my ex, he was very, scholarly about it. I would say it was a lot of reading books a lot of podcasts or, other, information like going to a club or trying to absorb it all. And I'm more of a. Does it feel right? Is this fun? Which way are we gonna go? I just wanna mm-hmm. Let me just experiment. Let me see where, I don't wanna where it goes. Don't go to school. No, exactly. And it, it all has to be fun, but I guess everybody has their own way of, how do you feel comfortable? How do you get started? For me, it was we were then jointly on an app called Field. Mm-hmm. And, I then started playing more alone as a unicorn, and it was really trying to figure out what are my likes and dislikes and do I like a threesome? Do I like a one-on-one? Is it, other items that you like, kink or whatever? And then when that stopped, and I met my current partner, we were talking about the lifestyle, and he was in it with his ex, but he was in it as a full swinger. So really only couples and pretty much, foursome. And that was about it. So then when we got together and we ventured into it together it was kind of an interesting start because like I said, I was always used to, it's my own decision. Right. I'm the only one who goes forward with something and now you are a team and also you're trying to get a foursome going, which is by itself, as we all know, super hard.

Elle:

Yeah. A challenge.

Nikki:

So that is one thing also that I guess, you really learn how to do as a team and you have to talk about and what do you like, what don't you like? So I would say that is sort of the way how I got into the lifestyle. Okay.

Polly:

Hi, I'm Polly. My swinging lifestyle story started a long time ago. I was in my early twenties with my first husband and he tried to get us into the lifestyle because he wanted to watch other guys fuck me. I was young and doe-eyed and madly in love with him and didn't understand what he was trying to achieve, so it did not work out. The marriage did not work out either. Funny yeah, sometimes that happens. Flash forward, 30 something years, and my current husband and I were actually on vacation in Mexico and he had taken a nap and came down to the pool and found me in the hot tub with two lesbians. And he is like, what the hell's going on?

Elle:

Oh,

Polly:

and it started being a joke where I think you're a little bit bi when you drink. And

Elle:

maybe not just when you drink, but Okay.

Polly:

Sat on that for a couple of years and once all the kids left, I finally said to him, well, I think I might be a little bit bi when I don't drink. And he said, okay, well what do you wanna do about that? And I was like, well, I'm a 50 something year old woman living in the suburbs. I'm not sure what to do about that. So I got online, started doing some research, found a couple of websites. Some were way out there and stumbled upon Scarlet Ranch and said, let's go check it out. And we walked in on kink night. It was our very first time we walked in. Oh yeah. Walked in to see a woman ChAARI hanging from a, a hook in the ceiling. And we looked at each other, we're like, what did we just do? Mm-hmm. But we took it slow. We kept going. We went our first Sunday fun day and I was like, I can lay out in the sun naked. And I looked at him and I'm like, I found my happy place. These are my people. And that was the beginning of that story.

Elle:

Nice, nice. So what are your play styles? I mean, I know you guys have evolved in, in. Where you're at. But is it full swap side by side? Is it just women? What is it that you like to do? Yes. Good answer.

Polly:

We got into it because I'm

Elle:

interested in women.

Polly:

Yes. So that's how it started for us, was for me to be able to explore that side of me. And from there, as most people in the lifestyle know there aren't a whole lot of unicorns out there. And so we became friends with several couples and it started off, our first experience was a side by side. Mm-hmm. And then we moved into more of a soft swap and then we moved into a full swap in the same room. And then we decided to try a full swap in separate rooms. And it's just kind of all been a mixture since then. A little bit of this, a little bit of that.

Nikki:

Interesting. So we, from the start, were full swap. Mm-hmm. And it was more, I think both of us are very sexual people. So we never really had any qualms about you can't do this, or you have to start slow. I would say it depends more on the other couple. Right. The, the people you meet, do you gel with them? And then it's kinda like, what do you normally do? So we've had wonderful experiences with parallel play. We've beautiful experiences with Soft Swap, and then also on the other side with full swaps and ems and just women or, other things. So I would say we don't have like a. A slow agenda that we, went from one point and, and just slowly went down the road. It was really more situational. How does the other, partner or couple react to us and how does that happen organically as we're there either at an event or at a club

Polly:

I love a mor,

Nikki:

I love a mor too. It's, it's actually are

Polly:

fun.

Nikki:

So for me, I've only done two. Okay. So far, one was not that much fun because we were with three couples and the one couple had a babysitter and they had to go home at one point. So it was really like, okay, you got 20 minutes. You got 20 minutes, and now we go here. You have 20 minutes, and oh my God, we gotta go home.

Elle:

That's a little too structured. It was. It was very structured. Wors are not structured. That's the whole beauty of them. Exactly.

Nikki:

And so then more recently we did have a very unstructured one and that was really nice. And then one a couples had a big duffle bag of. Toys. Mm-hmm. Like spread our bars and other things and explore. It was, it was really kinda like, yay, we signed up for the right morum.

Elle:

I think my favorite part about the Morum is really just the, everybody interacting and you don't know who's doing. Mm-hmm. What, but it just is there's such a connection with the other people in the room. And I really do like that. I like the, kind of just being in another world and not really focused on what one person is doing to you. But

Nikki:

when you are talking about a mor, is it like you start out with a finite group of people, or is it like you are somewhere and anybody can join in and how does that work? I guess because the only ones I've done is it's like a fixed group, right? That's what I've done, and there's no peripheral people that all of a sudden are there and, oh, look, then Joey is now jumping in. Right? So

Elle:

We've done. They're very structured. But we also have early on we went to some house parties. There was a couple that threw house parties. It was called the Ravens Nest, and it was pretty monthly mm-hmm. That they were putting'em on. And we would go to'em and really a nice setup upstairs. Food and drink, you know, you pay an$80 donation mm-hmm. Or whatever to get in for a couple and there might be 50, 60 people there. I mean, it was pretty big. And then downstairs is all the play area. So, you still have that element of, I need to be okay with who it is. Mm-hmm. You need to ask, can I join you? That kind of a thing. And we didn't have any issues with that at all. Okay. No, I take that back. Jay and I were playing together on one of the beds, just the two of us, and a guy that we were talking to, him and his wife, and we had met them a couple of times, came up and started fondling my breasts without saying anything. And I was just like, well, that was not okay. And later we saw him, he's like, I am so sorry.'cause I think his wife saw him do that. And she's like, what are you doing? Like, you didn't even ask, just'cause you know somebody doesn't mean you just mm-hmm. Go join their tits. Yeah. You know? And so it was like, okay, that was good. And so it wasn't bad. It was nice, you know,'cause people are moving in different rooms and they had a little BDS room, B-D-B-D-S-M room with a cross, and then they had a Sian in there and some other things. And then, bigger playrooms where everybody was there. But but I do like mm-hmm the smaller groups where, you know, the people, everybody's attracted to each other off the bat, you don't have to worry about that. Oh great. I want him and him to touch me and her, and her and her, but not him. You know, that's a little more awkward. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Polly:

Yeah. The two times that we've had that experience, it was with a set group of people, and it was people that we knew. Mm-hmm. Some of whom we had played with before, some of whom we had flirted and kissed and made out with before. There was one couple that we had never met before, but we really hit it off very quickly with them. And so it was just a, it was a very fun experience.

Elle:

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Okay. Men versus women

Nikki:

interest. Maybe elaborate a little bit on that.

Elle:

How do you like to play with men and with, with women?

Nikki:

I guess it's with women it's way more sensual, I would say. It's much more kissing and stroking and holding and, enjoying the voluptuous nature of mm-hmm. Two female bodies together. And the beauty of it.

Elle:

Yeah, the softness. The softness, the soft lips. Yes. The tongue. Yeah.

Nikki:

And I think just in general, women with each other, it's much more soft.

Elle:

Mm-hmm.

Nikki:

Right. Maybe one person might be a little bit more dominant, but in general it's much softer than if you have sex with a man. Right. But that said, I am into really rough sex.

Elle:

Well, I'm, I'm good. If you talk, if you wanna toss me around, I'm good with that. I don't wanna think, don't, don't need to ask me what I want. Just move me, you know? Right. But

Nikki:

like I said, so it's, it's funny. So we're into choking and slapping and this and that, which you'll probably never have with women, I would presume. At least I've never experienced it. I'm gonna Yeah. I've never experienced it. Yeah. Yeah. May maybe a playful slap, but that's about as far as it goes. Mm-hmm. And the other funny thing is, what I have noticed for myself, I am submissive to men, but dominant to women.

Elle:

Hmm.

Nikki:

So when I play with a woman, I'm the one, the aggressor. Assertive, well, assertive. Also, I'm taller normally. So it's just kind of that, natural, yeah. Dominant part. And then with men, it's exactly the other way around, and I love it. I love both. I mm-hmm. My partner always says, well, yeah, you love women, but you can't do it without a dick. Which is totally, absolutely true. Completely.

Polly:

Absolutely. I'm never given that up 100. Exactly. So,

Nikki:

but like I said, it's just very interesting how different for me the experience is, and I love both. Mm-hmm.

Polly:

I would agree. I think that with a woman, it's a much more. Sensual, tender, gentle, soft, slow stroking, slow touching. Mm-hmm. Experience. And with a man, I do like to be manhandled. Mm-hmm. A little bit. Right. I'm a very, in my normal life, I'm a pretty type, a aggressive go-getter, control freak, plan everything out in my life. And when I'm in bed, I don't wanna do that. Mm-hmm. I don't wanna think about it. Right. And so that's one of the things that I like about being with. Bigger men mm-hmm. In particular is because I feel like they can just pick me up and they can just throw me around and they can do what they, and I'm just like, bring it, you're a tiny

Elle:

little spinner anyway. I mean, I could pick you up and throw you around. Oh, I need to see that. But I get what you mean. Us being taller. I'm like in between the two of you. Mm-hmm. I like somebody who's. Taller than me. Who's bigger. Bigger. Yeah. I don't wanna feel like I'm bigger than the guy Absolutely ever. And I love that, strong arming, move me around, flip me around. Mm-hmm. Do this, do that. You know, now I'll tell you this much. Don't tell me what to do. Don't order me to do something. Is we have also found that. I am a horrible slave. So we, we were playing with another couple and a single guy and we're kind of done. And when I'm done, I'm tapped out and I just like, I'll sit and watch and I'm perfectly happy. And the single guy's sitting there and he goes, L, suck my dick. And I looked at him, I went. No. And he looks at me and he says, worst slave ever. And I'm like, yeah, it sounds about right.

Polly:

Yes. I don't like to be told what to do, but I have to tell you that there have been a few times when I've been bed with my husband and he's like, get on your fucking knee. So I'm like, yes, sir. Right away. Right away. Jay

Elle:

has figured out if he says, you know, I'd really like it if you'd go over and give Pauly a kiss, you know? I'm more apt to saying, oh, okay, I'll go do that for you. Mm-hmm. Whereas go kiss Polly. Yeah, fuck you.

Polly:

You know? Well, you can come kiss Polly anytime you want.

Elle:

Oh, good to know. Okay, so one of the other questions I had too was formatted. Sexual play or organic, like having dates and going out to dinner and, going through a whole process or just meeting someone in, in an organic way. What do you prefer?

Nikki:

I think we were talking about it before. It depends where you are,

Elle:

right?

Nikki:

If you are around town in your own city or whatever, we normally like to have drinks or dinner or. And have more of a structured approach, see if it fits, see if it's a foursome or not. So we normally don't play on the first date. Mm-hmm. Always exceptions of course. I mean, let's be honest. Yeah. But I don't wanna wait. But, normally that's the approach, right? We, we'll set a day for drinks and blah, blah, and then have a follow-up date. But while we're outta town or on vacation at a resort on a cruise. Vacation mode comes on. And I think it's also because you have so much more time to connect with people.'cause you're mm-hmm. At the gym together, you see people at breakfast, you are at the pool. You're talking to people in the hot tub and you just have so many more opportunities to connect that it almost negates the fact of that you need to structure it.

Elle:

Yeah. Yeah. I agree. Well, and, and like when you're on vacation, you're not thinking about, oh, I gotta get you up in the morning and go to work, or oh, I have all this laundry to do, or, oh, I gotta take the kids somewhere. I mean, that's not us anymore, but, there's a lot of people where that's a big thing where I have to get home for babysitter, so that's a time constraint we love vacation LI don't. Overthink things. I don't put too much head on it. Well, okay, well hopefully I'll, if you ask nicely. But it's, I don't get in my head as much and I'm able to just relax and let it be.

Nikki:

I also feel it's, it is a formula of will you see these people again? Or not exactly, like if it's in your own backyard. I wanna be a little bit more Sure, sure. Because you will see'em again if you have a club nearby or house parties or wherever you play. And honestly, if you are at a resort or somewhere else, I mean, you might see him again. Mm-hmm. But, but then again, you also might never see him again at all. Also it has a different play style. Mm-hmm. Or brings with it a different play style.

Polly:

We generally are a little bit more like at home, like you are mm-hmm. Where we wanna meet people, we wanna get to know them. We have a couple that we hooked up with on the first date and we see them. It, it was not a good experience. Okay. For, I don't think any of us and we see them regularly. At the club, and it has been very, very awkward since then. Like the husband can't even make eye contact

Nikki:

with you. Oh, you're kidding. Oh, no. So

Polly:

I, I finally, and it is funny because this experience has helped to establish our two biggest ground rules, which is we don't play on the first date and we don't play with You're drunk. Because, oh yes. They were so drunk that, I mean, it was just, it was a horrible experience all the way around. And so I finally, after like four or five months after this guy not being able to make eye contact with me, the club, I walked up to him, I'm like, dude, it was awkward. It wasn't good for any of us. You don't have to make it weird.

Elle:

Nice. Good for you. Come on.

Polly:

We're

Elle:

all adults here. Yes, we're still gonna exist in the same room. Exactly. But you bring up a really good point and we talk about it a lot. Alcohol mm-hmm. Is a huge turnoff for us. I mean, I don't, you know, have a drink or two or whatever, but when people get to the point where they're sloppy drunk for us, that is questionable consent. That is, yes. Questionable consent. That is, are they really even there? Are they gonna second guess it? Are they gonna come back the next morning and go, I really didn't wanna do that, and then it's our fault? And we're like, no, no, we don't. We don't even wanna play that. But also they're just sloppy. They were very sloppy and that's not fun or sexy. Yeah.

Nikki:

So we had an experience one, and it was really early on. It might have been the third couple we played with. We met'em for drinks. Mm-hmm. And two bottles of wine within like an hour. Oh. And it was really like, at that time, my partner and I, we were also kind of green, so you're kinda like, well, this is going well, you know? Mm-hmm. And, and we didn't drink that much. But they did. Mm-hmm. And then we invited them back to our, and this was like the third date I think that we went on with them. So we, we had seen'em several times. Right. And then that date, I guess they were nervous'cause they also could feel it was finally gonna happen. And then they drank so much. Yeah. They came to the house probably two weeks later we saw'em again. They couldn't remember. Oh, they could not remember how they drove home. And we were just like, wow. So. I don't know if they remembered the experience. It was a hazard on the road. Yeah. I mean, we felt terrible because w what do you do as a host? Yeah. Right? So that there was all these things that came up and then another experience was the same thing. The woman was really drunk. Yeah. The guy was fine and she was like beyond repair.

Elle:

Yeah.

Nikki:

And then it's also kinda like, what do you do? Right. Yeah. Like, do you proceed or not? Like you were saying, politely consent or let's try this another

Elle:

night's.

Nikki:

It's a very difficult situation. Yeah. And, I think in general, in the lifestyle though, a lot of people, it's a party atmosphere. So you do have a glass of wine. Mm-hmm. You do,. Indulge in, in, in, Hey, Saturday night, let's have fun. But there is that line of like, yeah, this is really uncool.

Elle:

Right. And I think, it's hard for people who are new and at the club for the first time or the first couple of times and they're nervous. Mm-hmm. So you drinking and then you drink more and you drink more. And I take issue with the husbands or the wife is. Obviously impaired here, honey, here's another glass of wine. Like, what are you doing? You know, and it's just not a good situation for her. It's not for him, for us. And here's my cautionary tale is just dial it back little bit less than what you, yourself, what you think you want. Nothing's gonna happen that you don't want to happen, but make sure that you're there making that choice and that it's not something that you're gonna regret. So. Drink enough to get those, little bit of the nerves gone, but don't overdo it. Mm-hmm. There's always water. There are always glasses of water every lined up on the counter and on both of the bars, you can go grab it. Or if there isn't any, they're more than happy to give some to you and just pace yourself.

Polly:

Yeah. I had to learn that when I first started going because I was nervous. Yeah. Right. And I drank way too much, way too many times. And. My poor husband had to deal with you dragging my drunk ass home. Oh shit. You know, this is fun. It would inevitably end up in an argument. Mm-hmm. And then it kind of put a, a cloud over the entire evening.'cause he is like, you got drunk and I felt like I had to babysit you and then I couldn't have any fun. And so I have intentionally made the choice not to drink. At as much. I mean, I still have like one or two glasses of wine or a cocktail or two. Right. But just really, really dialed it back a lot since then. Yeah. Because I want it to be a good experience for both of us. I don't wanna be so drunk that I can't say yes and I don't wanna be so drunk that I don't remember. Mm-hmm. The next day. Because, I mean, we're doing this because. It's exciting and it's sexy and it's fun and it's pleasurable, and I wanna be able to remember the pleasure later on and have that fun next morning conversation with my husband. Hey, how did you like that? Did you enjoy that? Was it fun watching me? And you know, and he'll be like, and you know, I don't wanna be looking at him going, I have no idea what you're talking about. What do you mean I did that?

Elle:

I did what? I did? What, what? What I did? What? No, I think, I think you're right. You know, one to two drinks. Mm-hmm. I mean, you're there for four or five hours, then you can also drive home nicely or hopefully you've Ubered. But we've seen people, going and getting in their car and it's like, you just, you gotta just be smart. We're adults here. At what point did we stop being adults at that moment? You know,

Polly:

we had to do the drive of shame one morning when we took a couple home'cause they were so drunk they couldn't drive to our house Uhhuh. And the next morning we had to drive them back. To the club to get their car, their car, talk about an awkward silent drive because he couldn't perform because he was so drunk. And it was just such a horrible, all the way around experience that we're just like, we're never gonna do that again.

Elle:

Right. Again, all the things we learned the hard way. Mm, for sure. Okay, so on that, give me your best fun story of an experience in the lifestyle.

Nikki:

Shall I go first?

Elle:

Yes. Need a moment, Polly? I need a moment.

Nikki:

Polly

Polly:

needs

Nikki:

a cracker. No.

Elle:

I gave her a Moses. Yeah, I know. That should be helping. Right?

Nikki:

So our favorite experience on a cruise,, I think the last day of the cruise. So we had already played with, a dear couple that we know very well and and a new threesome. And the threesome we had was with another woman. Okay? So my partner and two women. And so then it was kinda like, well, it'd be so cool to turn it around two guys and me. Yeah, it would be cool. And so then, sorry, the whole cruise we had sort of, connected with this other couple and it wasn't connecting all the way. And then I came up with the idea because they have these workshops, a hall pass. Mm-hmm. So it's a meet and greet hall pass. So we went to the hall pass and the couple that we had been kind of gelling with almost. But not quite. Was there and the husband had the hall pass. And so it was the funniest thing. He beelined over to the guy and they were all like, blah, blah, blah. And I was completely outta the conversation, but I mean, it was exactly what I wanted. Right. But he was just making it happen for me. So that was really sexy. Yeah. And then it was interesting'cause then the other guy came back and he's like, well. I've never done this, so I'll have to go ask my wife,

Elle:

which you know, absolutely perfect. Absolutely. Absolutely. As you should. As you

Nikki:

should. And there's a hall pass and there's, you know, you still got a check. This was really great. So then he came back and he's like, she's okay as long as she can watch. So we were like, oh, okay. So we marched off to the cabin and we had the most awesome threesome with the two guys and I, while she watched, and then. Guys were done. They're like hanging on the balcony and she was dominant by, and I didn't know that. Oh. And so she had a whole bag of toys and then her and I went to town. Oh my God, that's so awesome. So that was by far one of the best experiences ever. And it was just unexpected. You think you're gonna go one way and then in the end you morphed to this beautiful constellation that we never dreamed up of.

Elle:

We had, we had an instant the first time we went to Desire that reminded me and met this really lovely couple, we'd been on the Telegram group together and had talked and everything, and then we're there at the resort and we're flirting and talking and they're like, well, she doesn't play. It's just him now. She'll watch, but you know, so often you'll have the guys will not play the do the hot wiping thing. Mm-hmm. This was a hot husband kind of a thing, and I think she had some physical things going on with her and so it's just not comfortable for her. And so it took us like about four days into the trip and he's came over and he sat down. I was on one of the cabanas and he's like, okay, this is what we wanna do and we'd like to do it now. And I'm like, well, we gotta go check with Jay and gimme half an hour. I want to go shower and, and well, let's do this. So she came and she watched and then. Jay would, talk with her while he and I were playing and, he'd rub her back and she felt so comfortable that by the time we were done with it, she was kind of in there and she was, stroking me and stroking him and, you know, part of it. And then her husband fucked her. And, it felt so special that, this is not what they normally do, but she felt good enough in that scenario and safe enough that she could play a little bit. Mm-hmm. So it was really interesting. So thank you for sharing that one. Yeah. Polly.

Polly:

I'm trying to think. Okay. Well, just because, we've taken it so slow that we haven't done a, we haven't had multiple.

Elle:

Well

Polly:

occurrences,

Elle:

like we discussed in our pre-recording recording, you had said you, you've been doing this for two years. Yes. But you've really only played with, I

Polly:

think we've only played with three, or the drunk people. Just reminded me. I think that's four. Okay. But I don't count them. Nope. It was bad. Didn't happen.

Elle:

For everybody. I

Polly:

mean, I have to say that probably the, the mor some was probably the most fun because it was something that neither of us had ever done. I mean. It's definitely not my husband's jam. I mean, he had never even thought about that, I think in his whole entire life. I'm trying to

Elle:

picture.

Polly:

But it was just one of those things where, we were all away for the weekend and it was just a, a quiet, kind of romantic, fun, intimate setting with, it was five couples and we'd had a really great time during the day, had great dinner and wine and. My one girlfriend who's always the instigator, of course she started that was a fire

Elle:

starter.

Polly:

He is a fire starter and next thing I know, I look over and she's all my husband. And then game one,

Elle:

you gotta work with the lowest common denominator. Exactly. But if that lowest common denominator is in, you're all in. In.

Polly:

Exactly. And so it was just really fun because, it was dark, but there was like moonlight on the snow outside coming through the windows. And so it was just very visually beautiful. And it was sensual, but it was dirty and it was, you know, everybody kind of took turns playing with everybody. And so you weren't quite sure who was with who and who was doing what where. And it was just a really erotic experience. And then, one of the, the gentleman wasn't able to finish. Mm-hmm. Which is very common, which happens very, very, very common. No,

Elle:

we, we, we've stopped expecting that either one of us will Yeah. Just, and just enjoy the moment. Takes all the pressure off.

Polly:

What was really amazing is that I went over and I hopped on him, Uhhuh, and I helped him with that little problem. Oh, you're such a giver. I'm a giver. And the cool part was that my husband was watching Oh. And it really turned him on. Like he, he. He doesn't like, he doesn't like same room play'cause he doesn't like watching me with another man. Mm-hmm. So for him to watch that and enjoy it was super sexy for me. Wow. So then we went upstairs to our room afterwards and I made sure to take care of my husband. Reconnecting. Yeah. And we connected and it was just, it was a very, it was a really cool moment.

Elle:

That is an awesome story. Mm-hmm. Thank you. So all three of us are bisexual women. Mm-hmm. Correct. We enjoy women. Okay. Tell me about your first female kiss.

Polly:

I honestly think my first female kiss when I was about nine years old. Okay. My neighbor girl, we were, it was so funny. She was not just a latchkey kid, she like lived with her grandparents. And I remember we were playing one day and we went into her bedroom and she took my shirt down and she started playing with my boobs and she kissed one of'em and she said, this one's chocolate milk. And this one's vanilla milk and then we kissed each other.

Elle:

I'm not sure that's what I was looking for, but I got it.

Polly:

No, I had my first adult kiss with a woman. It was just soft and she was beautiful. I actually met her, it was at the club, and she just was gorgeous and she and I looked at each other and we were just like. Instantly connected, like Yes. Yes. And she came over and we kissed you and it was just. It was hot. Oh, that's lovely. It was hot. What about you, Nikki?

Nikki:

For me, it was in my twenties. Okay. I think it was a little later during my studies. And you weren't

Polly:

nine?

Nikki:

No, no, I wasn't. Well, I know,

Elle:

but

Nikki:

I,

Elle:

I just conversation. Took a weird turn. We're gonna roll with you said the first. I know. I know. I did. That was me. That's all on me.

Nikki:

But this was definitely college time. A little bit more experimenting feeling a little freer away from home. I guess it's the classical story, right? Mm-hmm. You have your first bisexual experience in college. And then I got married and absolute put a lid on it. My ex-partner or my ex-husband just, it, it just wasn't a thing. I didn't tell him. I, he never knew. Okay. Until we then were trying the lifestyle and then we were at a club and we're at like a massage room, and then I started kissing whoever was next to me. And then it restarted that whole thing again of like, wow. I, I've suppressed this for so long and I really enjoy it, and why am I suppressing it even further? And then my new partner, he's wildly attracted by seeing me with another woman.

Polly:

Mm-hmm. Oh yeah. Yes. And he's very

Nikki:

supportive. He loves it. Absolutely. He's always saying that. And he, he, before we met, he always told his friends like his favorite thing would be to have a bisexual girlfriend. And boom, there I was manifest, manifested itself. And then now it's a super fun, still almost new thing because like I said, I suppress it for so long and you do have, I find a lot of instances where you go dancing maybe at a vanilla club and there's always a drunk by girl mm-hmm. Who will only kiss women when she's had X amount of drinks. And they love it. Like a couple weeks ago, I'm on the dance floor somewhere and this girl just comes up and we start kissing and it was great. But you do see all the star of everybody around you and you're like,

Elle:

oh, oh, I'm not at the club. Yeah,

Nikki:

exactly. What I really enjoy is when you are in a swinging. Situation and you are with a foursome that you have that mutual connection between the two women.

Elle:

Yes. Yeah. Right.

Nikki:

You might. Play, you know, the couples are put the penises. Yeah. You have the penis part. And then the aftermath of dancing and holding and caressing and playing some more and making each other come. And, and it's just that really soft aftermath of a foursome. Mm-hmm. Which I really, truly enjoy.

Elle:

My first girl kiss was, my first experience in the lifestyle and Jay had some friends come over and he had told me previously she is an attention whore. She likes the more BDSM because the attention's on her. She's a wonderful person. Like I love this woman inside and out. And but he told me,'cause she goes, she's. Like the worst kisser. Oh no. And so here I am in my first foursome situation, and God, I hope she's not listening to this. I'm horrible, but I do again, I love you. But, and we're playing. And so he stands up and I suck his cock, and then she's sitting on the sofa just laying there, just looking sexy. I'm like, okay, well here I go. I'm gonna dive in. And I went to kiss her and it was like kissing a toddler. Like there was no movement, it was just sort of lips pursed and out. And I sort of pulled back and I looked back at Jay and he just looked at me like, mm-hmm. I'm like, told so. And then told our friends the sic swingers about that, and they're devastated. Devastated that, that was my first female again. Oh. Like, I'm so sorry I've made up for it. Said, yeah. No, no, no. I feel good. But it was so, it was me memorable, let's put it that way. Okay. Yeah. What about the first time you went down on a woman?

Polly:

I did that be not before ninth grade, a 9-year-old? No. Stop, Polly.

Elle:

No, I was 12

Polly:

in my adult. No, I, I was, I was in my forties when I did that, and so I hadn't kissed a woman yet, but I'd had an experience with a very close friend of mine and another man and she's the first person that I went down on. Okay. Yeah. And it was, awkward. Sure. Because she was my best friend and we were all drunk and it was just a really weird experience. Huh. And it just wasn't great. And I think it's just because I didn't get the reaction that I was expecting mm-hmm. To get from it. I don't know, I'm not sure I even went into it thinking about a specific reaction, but it just wasn't what I thought it was going to be. So it just wasn't great. I made up for it though.

Nikki:

Okay.

Elle:

Alright. To take your word for it. Yeah.

Nikki:

For me it was in college. Mm-hmm. So, like I said, you, you're away from home. You can experiment all you want and you have, freedom and

Elle:

well you grew up in Europe, right? Yes. Yeah.

Nikki:

Yes.

Elle:

So it's a little more, more free than Absolutely. I would say in the US anyway.

Nikki:

Well, I, I guess, I don't know because I didn't go to college here. That's true. So, but

Polly:

we're pretty damn oppressed here. Yeah. A little bit.

Nikki:

Yeah. A little bit. So in that sense, but for me, like I said, it was sort of a start and go. Mm-hmm. Right. It started and then here in the US and then it was on hold for quite a long time. And then I did have an experience with friends not necessarily best friend, but you know, it's kind of like the, the people that you meet that you are hanging out with and then it's like, oh, there's a spark or there's not. And I would say, really that. It, it got going. It was more in the lifestyle.

Elle:

Mm-hmm.

Nikki:

Right. Because it, it might be during a swap or foursome or, if you have threesome, whatever. But the other thing, what I would like to say is that on these dating apps for the lifestyle, everybody says I'm by comfortable. Mm-hmm. I'm, I'm straight. Well, exactly. I'll touch

Elle:

boobs. You can touch my boobs. Maybe you can go down on me. I'm not going down.

Nikki:

So, but, but that's why it's so funny because some couples have I'm straight. And then you have a Velociraptor in the room, and then the other way around, somebody's back comfortable and they won't even kiss you. Right. So it it, it's such a wild array of what people like, or what they're into

Elle:

or what they feel comfortable stating out there. Yeah. For the world to see.

Nikki:

But what we have noticed though, is that a lot of couples. The women aren't really that bi, even though they say they are. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And, it's all good, I mean, that doesn't matter. And so, for instance, I would say I go down more on women than they go down on me because they're kinda like, he,

Elle:

well, and I think, especially that first couple of times, you're not confident in what you're doing. You know, what you, what feels good to you, but I'm still not confident

Polly:

in what I doing. Oh,

Elle:

right. And, and, and to go. Down on a woman and, oh, I mean, the, the, the first time I came, actually came, had a woman that didn't, you couldn't find her clit. I'm like, I couldn't find it. And he's like, now, you know what I feel like, but, you know just, just getting that feel for how they're reacting and what seems to be working and, I think I've gotten better at it. Me, but those first couple of times it was,

Nikki:

I feel it's the other way around because I'm kind of like. Well, I know what it feels like, so I'll just do what I like. Right. And they seem to react to it's what And there you go. Right. It's, and I think that we're all

Polly:

different. Like, we all like different things. Yeah. And so I know that I've had instances where I'm like, I'm going to do to her what like, I like my husband to do. Right. It's a good start. And I like it a little harder. A little faster. Right. And this last woman that I was with, she's like, slow down.

Elle:

Mm-hmm.

Polly:

And so I have to remember like it's. It's what the other person likes. It's what they want. It's not necessarily the way that I like it,

Elle:

but they also have to be using their words. They have to communicate. They have to communicate. So if they're not, and they're just tensing up. Yeah. You might mistake that for an orgasm, but it's not, and I think that's it. Like I don't want someone to bite my clip, my. Clit is huge, and it's there and it probably looks pretty biteable. I don't want that. I want, slow fat licks or, put that finger inside me and mm-hmm. Come hither. Mm-hmm. You know, but not everybody does that or knows what to do, so it's kind of up to me to let somebody know, yeah, this is what I want. Yeah.

Nikki:

How about repeat play? Like, Hmm. Same night or no? Well, same couple of course another time. No, no, no. I want more. I guess I have to be more specific. Our ideal is you have, or you know, 10 couples. And you a rotation, you intermittently play with them. Depending. Yeah. You know, so merry around. It's like, yeah, this

Elle:

works. We're good. We have this rhythm. And then the more you play with another couple, we have a couple like that. We, the more we know each other and we, the better we get. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah.

Nikki:

And so that is one of those things. How do you feel about that? Is it like,'cause I'm also sure that some people are like one and done Well also because it's, it, it keeps the emotions at bay. Yeah. Right. For sure. Sure. It, takes, that whole part of it could get weird. Out of the way. Mm-hmm. But for me, it's also kinda like the first time when you play with anybody, it's new, it's different. You don't know. It might be great, might be medium, might be, and then the second time it's absolutely fabulous because, oh, I know that if I do this, you're gonna go. Yeah, exactly. So, mm-hmm. What, what are your thoughts on that?

Elle:

Yeah. No, I, I, 100%. I think that when you find those people that you connect with mm-hmm. Whether it's a single male or a single female or a couple, and, you do have to keep that level of, the emotional mm-hmm. Attachment off from it. But, it's nice to have when you know what you're gonna get, there's so many times we've gotten together with a couple and I'm like, well, that was meh. You know, for whatever reason, doesn't mean want anything negative about them. It just could be off night. I could have been the math and I just didn't know. But to have those people that you know, what you're getting when you come back to it is really nice. Yeah, I do like having a few of those around. Mm-hmm.

Polly:

Yeah, I would agree with you. I mean, we only have one couple that we've had repeat play with and I love it because. He's a ton of fun. My husband and she really enjoy each other. To the point where the last time that we played together, I finally looked at him. I'm like, could you please close the door?'cause all I can hear is her making noise, right? Because I'm like, I know my husband's doing his job and I don't need to hear it. So proud. So proud. You go, baby, I don't need to hear it. There is definitely something, sexy and exciting and exhilarating about that first time. Oh yeah. But I do know what you mean about like knowing what you're going to get and knowing, and I think. I think that's part of the reason, like why my husband might have such great sex is'cause I know what I'm gonna get. Yeah. He knows what to do to turn me on. And so the more you're with somebody, the more they get to understand you and your body. Mm-hmm. And how you move and how you react. And it definitely, I think, heightens the entire experience. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Good

Elle:

question though. What about fears and anxieties that you have had or have overcome or still have?

Polly:

Being found out? Yeah. Is probably the number one. Yeah, that's a good one.'cause nobody in our regular life except one person knows about that we're in the lifestyle. So that's a really big fear. And there's always gonna be some insecurities and. You worry like, is he gonna like her better? Like, is she gonna pleasure him better than I do? He's always worried that, I'm gonna like, another guy's dick more than his. And I think that those things are part of, would've brought us closer together knowing that when we're together, there's nothing like that sex.

Elle:

Yeah. And

Polly:

there never will be. Like, it's just makes you stronger. Hands down, the best sex I've ever had in my life. And, and it's because we have that emotional bond and we can talk to each other. Mm-hmm. And we can be vulnerable with each other. Mm-hmm. And nobody else is gonna put up with him. So I don't think he's gonna leave me.

Elle:

I'm thinking he feels the same, right? I think so too. What about you, Nikki?

Nikki:

Fear. I don't know if I really have any fears. It's more, I think. Some, some experiences are just better than others, but you kind of forget the most obvious one in the room about being found out or being judged for that. Sure. I don't know if it's necessarily the being found out because if, if they're cool with it, it doesn't matter. Right. It's more the judgey, oh my God, I can't believe that. Yeah. Yeah. But fears. My, well, actually, one of my fears, and I don't fear, I don't know fear is the right word, but it's what are we going to do 10 years from now?

Elle:

Oh, we talk about that. You know, it's, it's like we only have a few years in this and, but, but it's kinda like we're gonna be the 70 year olds on the naked beaches. Right. And, but, but it talk about all these things.

Nikki:

It's a thing of like.

Elle:

Oh

Nikki:

yeah. As we get older. As you get older, is there still a couple that's interested in us? Yeah. Are we interested in them? Are we able to just are run around the beach and fuck around and whatever. So it's not a fear, but it's more one of those things like is there a hard stop to this lifestyle? Is it gonna just meander off into the sunset until we decide it's no longer fun?

Elle:

Yeah.

Nikki:

But there is that sense of like, well, I know it's finite. It's finite. And also it's as you age, your body changes. Mm-hmm. Right. Do you still wanna do it?

Elle:

Right? I hope so too. Well, yeah. But you do, but you're, but you, like I said, I don't know if,

Nikki:

what if I'm 80? I always use 80. Right? Like, does somebody want B when I'm 80? Mm-hmm. I don't know. So that definitely is part of my thought process. Like also better have fun now because it might be finite.

Polly:

I have to say that I have, one of the big surprises to me since getting into the lifestyle is I don't feel like there is a ton of ageism when it comes to couple play, when it comes to just women. I definitely feel that. So when we're at the club and, on all the online sites, there's tons of people in their sixties into their seventies Oh yeah. On there. Like, and they seem very active and they're very happy and they're doing it. On the flip side of it, I'm part of a, a group for women only, and I feel very, very old in that group.

Nikki:

Interesting.

Polly:

And you know, I'm in my mid fifties. I don't look it No, you don't. I don't act it.

Nikki:

No.

Polly:

But I am. And so I find it challenging to make a connection with other. Five women because we don't have a lot in common.'cause most of the time there's a 20 year age gap between me and the rest of these women. So in that instance, that definitely plays into it. Mm-hmm. Like, when I go to one of these events with women, is anybody gonna like me? Is anybody gonna find me attractive? Is anybody gonna wanna play with me? Yeah.

Elle:

Mm-hmm. Well, so we've been going for about 50 minutes here this second time around. So I'm thinking that maybe we should stop this and pick up, I think there's a few more topics that we still could talk about and get another one in so we can make a, mm-hmm. Part two are here. So I do feel like today was just one giant ask me anything. And I do wanna thank both of you for joining me today and coming along and, and bearing your souls for sure. And I wanna take a moment and just. Reach out and thank everybody who listens. It's so cool to look at the stats after an episode and see all the far reaching countries. And please reach out to us at unapologetic swingers@gmail.com and let us know how you found us, what you like, and if there's any topics you'd like us to cover. We hope to have more sexy adventures to talk about in the future and maybe even get some details about all of our travels. And by all means, leave us a review on whatever format you listen to. Tramp will be back on. Well, maybe not the next episode since we're gonna do a second one here. But in the following episode after he recovers from his wonderful vacation. Until next time, I'm al. Be sexy,

Nikki:

be confident.

Polly:

Be unapologetic.