Unapologetic Swingers

Unapologetic Swingers: Epsode 22 - Tiki Drinks and New Adventures

• Unapologetic Swingers • Season 1 • Episode 22

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Jay and Elle are joined by a special guest, very near and dear to our hearts - the Tramp. Finally we get the chance to talk about what the Tramp has been up to.  This will be a good one!

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Elle:

Welcome back to Unapologetic Swingers. I'm Elle.

Jay:

And I'm Jay. If you're wondering why Tramp isn't here, co-hosting is because we're interviewing him today. Hey, say hello Tramp. Hey,

Tramp:

good morning everyone. How are you guys today?

Elle:

Oh, we're doing excellent. We're so excited to have you back.

Tramp:

Well, thank you.

Jay:

I've been away a little bit. Yeah, and this is gonna be really great for our listeners out there in podcast Land because this has been Tramp show. He started it, he's continued it, he's allowed us to join in and now we're gonna talk about him and his life and what brought him here, what adventures he's had and what's coming up shortly. So we're all, I think, pretty excited for this one.

Elle:

I think we've been waiting for this one for months, just with little anticipation and our super excited to. Share with everybody your journey and what's been going on with you, and not too much details, but until we get to the fun stuff.

Tramp:

Yeah. I've kept a lot under wraps just because of my own journey, but now, as you say it's time to open up and just let it all out,

Elle:

and we're excited about that. Boy, you are in such a good place right now. It's lovely to see your smile.

Jay:

He's a happy boy and no doubt some of the fun he's been having contributes to that. Shall we start, take it back in time. You started the podcast with your then wife mm-hmm. Lady and you were enjoying it?

Tramp:

Yeah. At that point it was all about just our adventures as we ease into the lifestyle, the good, the bad, the ugly, and that really, that theme continues through as you guys have joined me and honestly become an integral part of the podcast.

Elle:

Well, we have all had them. Everybody's had the Well, sure. The good, the bad, and the ugly. So it's just easy to talk about.

Tramp:

But a lot of people will only talk about the good, right? They don't, they don't necessarily talk about the fears and the doubts and the ugly parts of ourselves that we just don't reveal. True. I'll

Jay:

agree with that. Good point.

Tramp:

But no, you guys have just jumped in with both feet and I am just so appreciative. More than you know.

Elle:

Well, I'll tell you, it was a dinner that we were having with you back in October, and you opened up and said, you know, I, I really miss the podcast and that's something that I wanna continue doing. It is a passion that you have had from the beginning. I remember the first day you told us you were guys, we're gonna do this, and we looked at each other and said, we'll help out. And we jumped in and I, it, it has been just such a pleasure for me to work with you and to see our growth. A lot less nervous when we get started but just as goofy and awkward sometimes, which is fine. I'm okay with that. I can live with that.

Tramp:

If you can't let your guards down amongst some of your closest friends, then who can you

Elle:

and share it with? Like the world? Mm-hmm. Sure. Yeah.

Jay:

Wait, this is going global. Oh yeah. Oh, that's right. We have fans now everywhere. Indonesia, Yugoslavia.

Elle:

Exactly. Exactly.

Jay:

Pretty exciting. I think there

Elle:

was a Bora Bora one. That one. That one really thrilled me. I hope you're on a hammock and have a drink in your hand while you're listening to this.

Jay:

Okay. So episode 10 for our listeners is when we join the podcast.

Elle (2):

Yep.

Jay:

Rolling forwards. So let's talk about you Sure. Dating when you've, like one of your first dates. Once we can talk about the divorce a little if you want, or we can just skip past and talk about your journey as you tried to rebuild your life.

Tramp:

Of course. The one thing I'll touch on with that is it was unfortunate and what a lot of people ask will be, well, was the lifestyle involved with you guys going your separate ways? And actually it wasn't, I always thought it brought us, even though there were lots of speed bumps along the way I truly thought that it brought us closer together and a better understanding. But ultimately, I. I have to say that as Ellen and I constantly harp on, it was a breakdown in communication. And I think I did a, solo episode, the podcast only solo episode and back

Elle:

before we were on. Yes. Yeah,

Tramp:

yeah. And just really trying to hammer into people's skulls that with your partner, with your spouse, in this world, in the lifestyle world, communication is a must. And you have to be able to say the awesome things and the not so awesome things and holding them into yourself.

Elle (2):

Mm-hmm.

Tramp:

Serves no one. Right. Couldn't

Jay:

agree

Tramp:

more. And that will also extend not just lifestyle specific things, but just overall with the relationship. You have to be open and transparent with your partner. I know it's a old saying, but honesty is the best policy.

Elle (2):

Right.

Jay:

If I may, I feel the relationships and the open communication you develop in the lifestyle should do and should carry over into your vanilla life. If you can talk the morning after about whatever sexual scenario you had with your significant other, whether you can talk about when you did this or when I saw you doing that, talking about things like getting the taxes done or who's gonna take the car in for service are nothing, right? There's, there's no, oh, I'm not sure how they're gonna react to this news. Mm-hmm. Blah, blah, blah. And it's gonna cause friction. You don't have friction. You shouldn't have friction. You shouldn't have friction. Yeah. And, in my previous life in the United States Marine Corps, thank you very much. Thank you for your service. We used to have a safety saying on a mission, if there's a doubt, there is no doubt. Meaning if you think there's a problem, you need to voice it right away. And in communication and the lifestyle, if something happened that bothered you, maybe it was just they said something, but you heard something else, or I thought you said it was okay that I do this or that with this person. Some people have a firm rule against kissing and then somebody kisses and then you sit there and hold that in and be angry for a week. Or do you next morning, Hey, you know what? I thought we had a, a rule and I kind of feel that you broke that last night. Or I'm sorry you weren't there, but I broke it last night. You talk through it and you clear the air and you're stronger coming out the other side.

Elle:

Right?

Jay:

I have to agree, Jay.

Tramp:

Looking

Elle:

back because I know it was such a shock for you, but looking back, do you see that the breakdown in communication played a part?

Tramp:

Yes. It's funny. Hindsight is always 2020, so when you're in the middle of it, when emotions are running so high and you're fighting or putting your all into something and it's, and it still just doesn't seem like enough. Once you put a little bit of distance and you become a little bit more evened out and levelheaded, you can say, yeah, that wasn't acceptable, that that breakdown of communication just. Wasn't. Okay. Yeah. And, I unfortunately had gotten to a point where I felt like I could not voice those valid concerns.

Elle:

Yep. Okay. Been there. Yeah. Okay. So moving on. Mm-hmm. Your journey. It was a journey. It absolutely was a journey. And we saw it happen. You know, we, we all had dinner at least like once a week it seems like, for a while. For a while. Mm-hmm. And just, you know, help talk you through it, help let you, voice was going on, let

Jay:

you know you, you weren't alone.

Elle:

Right. For sure. For sure. And then we all went to the ranch on a Sunday. We did. And you guys drug me out for a Sunday. Sunday, as I recall did. Yeah. We said. Our treat. You come over with us and by the

Jay:

way, just a shameless plug, Sunday fun days in the summer at the Scarlet Ranch are off the hook. Yeah, they are so fun. It is the sexiest adult pool party you'll ever go to that doesn't have a pool.

Elle:

I call it adult summer camp.

Jay:

That works too. But tramp, we got him out and got him mingling, got his spirits up. He met some sexy people. And segue that

Tramp:

was, you're right, it was last fall. Mm-hmm. And I was embroiled in this and you guys were absolutely correct. I needed that outlet. And it was healthy even though it took some. Convincing from you guys a little bit because it was, it was an environment that I was so accustomed to having a significant other in.

Elle (2):

Right.

Tramp:

And now all of a sudden I am the single guy.

Elle (2):

Yeah.

Tramp:

And it's, it's very much a fish out of water mindset. And I realize that all is all mindset, but it took me a while to feel at ease and even seeing familiar faces and being greeted and welcomed there, I still couldn't get outta my own head for the longest time.

Elle:

Right. Yeah, for sure. It was, it was a step in the right direction. It was, it was, it wasn't the, oh, I'm over the bridge. It was just a step,

Tramp:

it was simply a, a step in the journey.

Elle:

Yeah.

Tramp:

And I was lucky enough during that afternoon to meet a very sexy couple where. It was a true hot wife situation.

Elle (2):

Yeah.

Tramp:

And me flying by the seat of my pants

Elle (2):

mm-hmm.

Tramp:

Were like almost too respectful. I, as I was told after the fact. Yeah. So her name, I'm gonna call her Sophia.

Elle (2):

I love it.

Tramp:

And,, she was just this really sexy gal with tons of good energy, extremely intelligent. We could sit and talk and, I recall they had a hookah and, and we just sat there seemingly for hours and had great energy. Yeah. You ditched. That's pretty

Elle:

quick. I remember that.

Jay:

I wasn't, I wasn't offended at all. Or you No, I wasn't

Elle:

either.

Elle (2):

No.

Elle:

We smiled,

Jay:

we're happy for our boy.

Tramp:

But that, developed into it. It was relatively short-lived, but. It got me out of my funk.

Elle:

Yeah. And outta your head a little bit and outta my head a little bit. Yeah. That was huge. And

Tramp:

her and I had the opportunity. We went on a couple dates. We, had, some very erotic, sexy play sessions.

Elle (2):

Mm-hmm.

Tramp:

And, it's funny, her significant other would always kind of poke me and say, Hey, it's okay. I think he sensed my own, like I was holding back. Yeah. Like, I was Yeah, yeah. You're right. And, and he's like, it's okay. I know you're gonna be respectful of us. So while it was short-lived, it was just truly eye-opening and reaffirming to me.

Elle:

Yeah. And you needed that, that was positive affirmation. It was attention. It was someone who found you sexy. It was getting you out of the house. Getting you out of your head. It was all the things and it, yeah. We're so grateful. For that short little time in your life because it helped nudge you a little bit more into, okay, it's gonna be okay, I'm gonna get through this and I'm gonna get out of it.

Tramp:

Yeah. A lot of people when they go through a breakup or a divorce, that's particularly hard, they tend to ruminate. They get stuck.

Elle:

Yeah. And you spin

Tramp:

and you spin and you spin. And that was definitely a time and place that got me outta that cycle.'cause everything was fresh. Everything was raw. Oh yeah. And, and you guys saw that firsthand? Oh,

Jay:

absolutely. And for our audience, this is a person here who, so. Retrospectively looks in studies, studied communication, studied personality types, to not only understand what went wrong in the last relationship, but how to do better in the future. And that really comes across when he meets people when he's with us. This is somebody, you know, if I may tell, tell a little story. No, go ahead. Jay. LLL is not a fire starter. We're, we're trying to get her a t-shirt for wearing on Sunday fun days that says, if you're flirting with me, you have to tell me. And Tramp is just so polite and everything else. And it's like these two have the hots for each other. And I'm like, oh my God. Nothing is ever gonna happen because neither one of'em will be the first to lean in and kiss. And we got in the habit of dinner here, drinks, then hot tubbing, and these two are flirting. And, and it, we, we did have, I think an MF M1 or two, and then one night we're after Hot Tubbing, we're all feeling so good. We're on the couch, Elle's between us, kind of rubbing our thighs. And I just kind of get up and go, I'm kind of tired. I'm gonna go to bed. You two have fun. And I'm upstairs literally texting one of our girlfriends, listening. It's like they're still talking. This is never going to happen. And then I pause, wait, nothing's happening. Oh, maybe they're kissing and then they're laughing again, And then finally, yeah, things started happening and they had their own little private session and I think they both really, really enjoyed themselves.

Elle:

We did have a conversation about how I am not an instigator or, anything, and you're like, I probably won't be either.

Tramp:

Yeah, I'm the same way.

Elle:

And at one point I think you got up and went to the bathroom and you came back and you sat down next to me and you just leaned over and gave me a kiss. And I think bets were all off. I at that point.

Tramp:

Yeah. It's, breaking the ice or, or just, yeah. The barrier or, you know, it's,

Elle:

it's, we both, you know, it'd been a, it's a friendship and I never wanted to push you or to, step over anything or I never, literally never wanted you to think. That the only reason you were here and that we were friends with you is because I was gonna fuck you. I, I honestly, it was in the back of my head, and so I never ever wanted you to feel that way.

Tramp:

Well, I know, and you never did. And by the same token, I didn't feel like I was, or I never wanted to feel like I was taking advantage for all the kindness and care that you guys have given me.

Elle:

Look how s we are. I know.

Tramp:

I'm tearing

Jay:

up over, shut up. You shut your face. But yes, that also part of your journey, part of my journey, part of you building up your confidence, getting back out there. And these two really are incredibly sexy when they get together. It's pretty hot. But that moves on to making new relationships back when, I was in the squadron, we had a lot of single lieutenants and they always, oh, how do I meet people? How do I meet people? I go join the volleyball team. I'm like, what? They're all married people. I'm like, yes, but married people have single friends. They do. And if you're vetted, and it's same with single guys in the lifestyle, single guys. Make friends with a couple. Don't just try to find the single girls. They may not want you in as a hot wife situation or an MFM, but become friends. And then once you're vetted, they'll introduce you to other couples who then have single friend, you have to grow your circle. And so in helping him do that, we had our friends we met on the Bliss Cruise last November. Became fantastic friends with, we had them out for a visit and of course tramp was included and were dinner and drinks. Laughing, joking. We played dice. Oh yeah. You know, and just had a great time. But unfortunately our friend, he caught something on the plane ride out from Florida. He was under the weather and with his permission, the four of us went and played and had a wonderful time. And he, and, Layla, not her real name, Layla formed a really strong connection and to the point of with her husband's blessing, flew her out so that the two of them could just spend a, a great weekend together. And I guess it was great'cause we only saw them for Sunday brunch when it was on her way out, on her way out to the airport.

Elle:

Now, I will say this too, when the four of us were playing, I think I spent more time watching Layla and Tramp'cause they were so sexy together. Oh my God, yes. And the chemistry was unbelievable

Jay:

So, okay, so sorry not to try to jump too fast too far. Oh, no, that's, that's fine, Jay. But so we've introduced Layla because now if we get to almost the present Oh, my, we're still a few

Tramp:

weeks back. Sure. But we've had some amazing adventures and she's really been pivotal I found someone that I'm attracted to, even though I have to be respectful, ultimately respectful. It's one of those situations where her husband wants her to have a great time and. I'm just happy to be along for the ride. So there's definitely mutual attraction and we have a great time together. Just as Jay said, she came out for a weekend. I've been down there and we both know that this experience is in the here and now, and, and I think that's very mature of us. Mm-hmm. Where there's going to be, a time period when it won't be whether I move on or she closes it off or whatever happens. I'm gonna be thankful for the time we have.

Elle:

And the thing is, you two talk about that

Tramp:

We do, we do it. It's been so that it's, it's a

Elle:

constant,, in that conversation, so that it's not gonna be a surprise. When it happens, because you'll have been discussing. Right? It'll be sad.

Tramp:

Of course. It'll, and I know that, but,

Jay:

and you'll come over here for dinner and drinks. I'll make you feel better. It's always about you, isn't it? Oh, I'm

Elle:

sorry. It's not,

Tramp:

but let's see, A couple weeks ago I did go down to Florida.

Elle:

Yep.

Tramp:

And we went to South Beach. Just her and I,

Elle:

sexy, fun,

Tramp:

and had a, a lot of fun. I had never been to South Beach, so in a lot of ways it's, it has a very Vegas feel to it. I see that. So I would say it's, it's lifestyle friendly. And we met some characters, not people that were in the lifestyle necessarily,

Jay:

but, but you wish they were.

Tramp:

Actually, yes. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna lie there. It's, I think part of being close to your partners is being able to say unabashedly, Hey, what do you think of that couple? I find her really attractive. What do you think of him? Right? And having that flow of communication once again. Mm-hmm. Where you don't have to feel like you're holding it in or afraid that you'll be, ridiculed for finding someone else attractive.

Elle:

What's more fun is when I look at Jay and say, Hey, she's hot, isn't she? I think she's hot.

Jay:

Yes, I do enjoy that very much. Unfortunately with the reverse, I have been with you now for several years and I still don't know what your type is.

Elle:

I think that's so hard to believe.

Jay:

I point to guys and you're like me. And then I point to another guy, say, oh yeah. And I'm like,

Elle:

it's the same guy. I like to keep you guessing.

Tramp:

So one thing that Layla and I discovered is we both love tiki drinks.

Elle (2):

Mm-hmm.

Tramp:

Now, don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good old fashioned and a proper cocktail. But if I want to cut loose a good tiki drink is the weight to my heart. You need an umbrella need drink with an umbrella and a piece

Jay:

of fruit hanging on the edge. Oh,

Tramp:

we're, we're talking about. Copious amounts of probably rum or, and pineapple. You know, she doesn't like pineapple.

Jay:

I, would just because of your relative size differences, you tramp being six three and Layla being 5, 2, 2 and a half. She likes to say she's tiny.

Elle:

She's a little more, I can't

Jay:

imagine. You two go drink for drink together. She can hang,

Elle:

she's badass.

Jay:

She actually is.

Tramp:

But in South Beach of course we found a tiki bar and the first time was a mediocre, was the bartender. It was a tiny place. So-so, okay. And it was our last night and she said, let's go back and try it again. Yeah. This time the guy was just off the charts and amazing. And there were two other couples. They lived in Miami Younger, we're talking probably late twenties, early thirties. Mm-hmm. Both married. And we started just talking with them and having a good time, and the energy was flowing and they said, Hey, we're actually almost doing like a tiki bar crawl. We're gonna go to the next one. Would, would you guys like to come? Oh yeah. And it's like, yeah. Well, so we tag along and go to this location, and I distinctly remember, I'm talking to the two other guys and these are both very intelligent guys and Layla's over there on the couch talking to the girls, and all of a sudden their conversation drops low and just almost out of hearing range, all of a sudden I hear Layla say, well, the tramp is my lover. And I glance over and these two girls eyes are both just like massive,

Elle (2):

blow it away. And, and, and

Tramp:

then they're just taking, and of course that encourages her. Sure. Because who, she has an audience. Ha. Yes. I've been there, seen that. And, so these two women are just taking it in, and then they start to ask questions.

Elle:

Yeah.

Tramp:

And of course we're all, we're pretty well lubricated, admittedly.

Elle:

Sure. So loose.

Tramp:

Yes. And, so, it gets to the point of where it's time for us to go back to the hotel. It's, I don't know if they continued to bar crawl or whatnot, but it was time for us to head home, make an exit. Yes. Yes. So Layla actually said, Hey, do you mind if I kiss your guys? And the girls were like, go for it. Oh. And it's funny, one of the guys was very straight laced and was like, almost, his brain couldn't even comprehend.

Elle:

Right.

Jay:

Okay.

Tramp:

And the other one, the, other one he played along. He's like, the cheek is okay.

Elle:

Wow. They didn't want

Jay:

to get in trouble. Well, I think

Elle:

that's what it is. I was gonna say, yeah. It's a youth thing. It's a trap. It's a trap.

Tramp:

Well, of course that, that is automatically what the human brain, I think what we're honestly probably programmed to

Elle (2):

Oh yeah.

Tramp:

From a young age, whether it's society or your own moral compass that's, or religion or whatever. It's

Elle:

not, it's not wrong.

Tramp:

It's funny, I've, heard people say that everyone has a swing or gene. It depends on if it's been activated or not.

Elle:

Okay. Why did I envision all of us having rings? That we touch together and activate. I'm a geek. Yeah,

Jay:

a little bit. A little bit, babe. You knew that Very sexy. You knew that.

Tramp:

But, but I think society is a cross section. You're gonna have the people who automatically gravitate the ones who their programming is just so hardwired that it's,

Elle:

there's a fear.

Tramp:

It yeah, it's an innate fear.

Elle:

Yeah.

Jay:

Okay. But you had a great time together. Oh

Tramp:

my. We had a fantastic

Jay:

time howling around like boyfriend and girlfriend.

Tramp:

We were, it was so amazing just to walk down the street hand in hand. And

Elle:

you felt so free.

Tramp:

I felt so free. And you were at that

Jay:

point and like

Tramp:

my old self.

Elle:

Yeah. And,

Jay:

and for our listeners, if you could just see his face right now. Yeah. It is just pure joy Uhhuh. He is so happy and he has come so far in such a short amount of time. We are. Love it. We love this guy and we are so happy for him right now.

Elle:

Yay. Okay. That is not your only adventure that you have had in the last couple of weeks. That has been very exciting and shall I say, stimulating. Oh,

Tramp:

not by a long shot.

Elle:

Mm-hmm.

Jay:

Where'd you go? What'd you do?

Tramp:

So. One day Layla and I were talking and we were talking about kind of the sexy places we had been. I said, well, I've been to both desires.

Elle (2):

Mm-hmm.

Tramp:

And as we all know, they are couples only.

Elle (2):

Right.

Tramp:

You know, you're not gonna find single males. Or occasionally you may find the select single female that's, part of a, three way triad type situation. Right. And she said, well, my husband and I are members. Would you like to go with me one of these days?

Elle:

Uhhuh.

Tramp:

And they aren't only members, they are mansion members at Pearl, which, if you've ever been to Pearl, I, I know we recently interviewed a couple that were desire aficionados and, and been plenty. So you have the standard rooms and, and the penthouses the mansion is a completely separate, complex on grounds, and it was unreal. Would the word posh

Jay:

come to mind?

Tramp:

Yes. Yes.

Elle:

Tell us a little bit about it.

Tramp:

It was, let me back up a little bit. So we set this all up and of course, I pay my own way. I'm mm-hmm.

Elle:

I'm

Tramp:

self, you're not a kept man. Yes. I'm not a kept man. And we work all this out and this actually happened. Just last week. Yeah. I know you guys have been biting at the bit to get this interview.

Elle:

Oh, you have no idea.

Jay:

Picked, picked him up at the airport just the other day. And literally it's like, did you have a good time? Yes. Any problems? Not really. Okay. That's all we're gonna talk about.'cause we're saving it for the podcast otherwise. Right. Because it's all gonna come out. He's gonna tell me everything in the car. Then he's gonna tell l everything when he gets to our house. Yeah.

Elle:

Nope. This is all fresh to us. This Yes. This is all

Jay:

fresh to us. So what happened?

Tramp:

So we flew in a day earlier and it's funny when you've been somewhere before and you have your routines Right. And, but you're with someone new and you just don't wanna repeat just everything. You wanna Yeah. You wanna make new memories

Elle:

new. Absolutely.

Tramp:

So. We fly in a day early. Okay? The, pro tip for desire is, unless you live on the East coast or somewhere where you get a first flight, you're paying a lot of money.

Elle:

Wait, a a hundred percent.

Tramp:

So a lot of people, ourselves included, will fly in, have a nice dinner, get nice and rested, and then hit desire first thing the next morning, right? Because

Jay:

otherwise you're at the mercy of the airlines and you're paying for that first day. And you could not, in its entirety, you could not get in until 10 11 that night

Elle:

and you've dropped a thousand bucks or whatever it is. Yeah. Yeah.

Jay:

This is the way to do it, folks. Mm-hmm. This is the way.

Tramp:

We get in and one of my go-tos is there's this, cigar bar.

Elle (2):

Okay.

Tramp:

In the hotel zone that,, it screams vacation to me. They make amazing mojitos and Cuban cigars and you get a little bite to eat and that really sets the tone for the vacation. And Layla, to her credit, she was like, yeah, let's do that. I'm not gonna partake. I'll have a mojito or I'll have a couple drinks. But

Jay:

you are kind of a throwback. I could see you in a bar sitting next to Humphrey Bogart. You just, you just really are kind of a classic guy.

Tramp:

We just had a great time and we were able to reconnect.

Elle:

Yeah. Important

Tramp:

and. Start the trip off. Right. Good.

Elle:

Yeah.

Tramp:

So the next morning we get picked up by USA transfers, one of their, S-U-V-V-I-P type get ups and the quick, 20 minute ride to desire pearl. Mm-hmm. And here's the biggest difference with being a someone who just goes and I guess someone with status not to sound too snooty. Okay. Is Well, it wasn't your status. No, I, I, yeah. I admit they, they didn't know tramp from he, the rest of us down

Elle:

here. This is how it goes. Yeah.

Tramp:

But since Layla and her husband are, I guess you could say frequent flyers Sure. Because of their, membership, almost everyone knew her name and it was the first thing that stood out was it was almost like a family

Elle:

Aw. Like,

Tramp:

being welcome, welcome back. Welcome home is what they said. Yeah, I know. They say that's everyone.

Elle:

Sure. Of course.

Jay:

So you're saying they all are in love with Layla? Not, oh my God, that woman is back. Yes.

Elle:

That's so easy to be in love with her,

Tramp:

though. She is wonderful. And the whole checkin process. She would just be stopped by, random playmakers and random bartenders. Wow. You know, miss Layla, welcome back. Welcome home. That's pretty awesome.

Elle:

And did they, did they look at you funny? Like you're not

Tramp:

Yeah, you're not Mr. Layla. I don't know how else to put it, but. No, I mean, she did have to explain a couple times and that was fine. Yeah. But these people are consummate professionals, right? I guarantee they've seen it all.

Elle:

Oh, yeah. Well, and in this world and in the lifestyle, it's not something that's necessarily looked down upon. It's, oh, okay. Fun. You brought your lover.

Jay:

Right. And if that works for you

Elle:

Yeah.

Jay:

Good for you. Yay. Yeah.

Tramp:

We had some phenomenal days. We stayed in the mansion, marble floors and our own pool and a butler and all these perks that, quite frankly are, quite intoxicating in and of themselves. Sure. But we were able to operate in that environment as a couple. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Okay. And I admit we did have some communication issues to overcome. Okay. But I'll get to that shortly. But it was so much fun. I will admit the very first day though, since desire Pearl is where Lady and I, that was our first trip. Right. You know, I was wondering that for that, our first foray, even though we were not in the lifestyle, our first foray into that environment. So there was a definite pang, and I'm like, oh, that happened there and that happened there. I think it's human, but I let it pass. I took in that moment, I, and I let it go.

Elle:

You acknowledged it and let it go. I think that was brilliant.

Jay:

Yeah. We talked about this on the way to the airport. Yeah. That, you know that it's gonna happen. Mm-hmm. There'll be things that are gonna trigger your memory.

Elle:

Yeah.

Jay:

But the way to get over older, painful memories is to create new ones. Right. And I think you succeeded there.

Tramp:

I did. I'll never forget them and I'm thankful for them.

Elle (2):

There you go.

Tramp:

But, yeah. Making new memories with a new person is definitely just freeing.

Elle:

Yeah. Lightens your heart a little bit.

Tramp:

It does. It does. And the people we met and all the fun we had, we probably drank too much and made asses about out of ourselves several times.

Elle (2):

Well, yay.

Tramp:

But it was just so fun getting back into that environment. Even more so than what you'd find at the ranch, for example, when you're on vacation, everyone is friendly.

Elle:

Yeah.

Tramp:

Unlike a vanilla resort where everyone is glued to their phones or sticks to themselves or their families, they're not gonna talk to or walking

Jay:

by and you say, Hey, how you going? And they go, why are you talking to me? Exactly. Yeah. As opposed to desire or a cruise where everyone's so upbeat, Hey, we're doing great. How are you? Yeah. And they mean it. Or you can say,

Tramp:

that. Outfit or that dress, you look incredibly sexy. Right. And not have to worry about some guy wanna knock your teeth out for paying a compliment to for sure, his lady. It was so fulfilling to be back in that environment and enjoying myself.

Jay:

So if I may ask, was, did you play with others

Tramp:

one night? We did. Okay. And it was, so that's a big step. This, it, really is. And whether or not Layla and I were ready for that step kind of remains to be seen. Okay. Because let, me lay it out. We met another couple, we're gonna call them Bob and Betty.

Elle (2):

Mm-hmm.

Tramp:

And she was a sexy blonde and he was a handsome gentleman. And it was one of those things where, we had met them during the day. We went to dinner, we did all the things. Hot tub, went dancing, got ready for theme night, all that stuff. Espresso martinis is mandatory in my mind. And after all of that, everyone goes back to the hot tub or, everyone that wants to keep the party going. Sure. And Layla and I had definitely had a good day, just having fun and admittedly overdoing it. And I don't know if we were prepared or we hadn't communicated, but yes, we ended up playing with Bob and Betty.

Elle (2):

Okay.

Tramp:

And I admit, I have to shift my mindset where after coming from a partnered situation to a single guy situation, back to a partnered environment where. I got stuck in the single guy, and I take this on the chin, admittedly, where I was having a, a great time with Betty, but Layla unfortunately thought, and I, again, I wholeheartedly, it's on me, thought that she was being left out and not heard.

Elle:

Oh, see, it doesn't matter. Again, it's, it's communication.

Tramp:

On the single male side, I only have to worry about my own feelings. It's not that I'm intentionally, I'm, I always care. But

Elle:

you're not accountable for, to some I'm not.

Tramp:

I'm not. I Exactly. I'm respectful, but I'm not accountable. Right. And in that s one situation,

Jay:

one of the most respectful gentlemen we know. Oh, really?

Tramp:

But I admit that after we both had a chance to dry out that Layla said, that really hurt me. And, I didn't try to deflect. I, you wouldn't I be because she felt like I wasn't paying her the proper attention, which I wasn't, I was laser focused on Right. On my situation. It's a straight swap. Yeah. E exactly. Exactly. But the thing is, she very well could have said, I'm gonna go home today. And you're on your own.

Elle (2):

Yeah.

Tramp:

In the lifestyle, you have to give grace. Okay, you may have broken our boundaries, but I have to weigh whether is this a deal breaker or do we communicate? Yeah. Is there no recovery rather,

Elle:

right.

Tramp:

Or do we actually communicate and are we stronger on the backside because of this?

Elle:

And

Tramp:

oh, it was the ladder. We communicated, we hung low. We reconnected. We reconnected. Good. And, we had a fantastic rest of the trip. Now, here's the funniest thing, and I was dying to tell you this in the car the other day.

Jay:

I'm all ears,

Tramp:

Bob. And keep in mind, I'm, admittedly pretty pickled at this point. I see this really weird look come across his face and he said, tramp, do you have a podcast?

Jay:

Oh,

Elle:

no way. Is that your first recognition?

Tramp:

Very first.

Jay:

Oh my God. That's hilarious.

Tramp:

And, I almost just broke into the intro, the outro. And he said, I said, maybe why? And he's like, you sound like the tramp from Unapologetic spirit. He actually

Jay:

called you by name. Wow.

Tramp:

And, and I, so we know they're listening to the sound. And I had, I had to, oh my God, do we love our fans out there in podcast? And I had to own up on the following days. He and I had some just great, conversations and he did ask about the two of you guys as well, really, you know, tell, tell me more about l and j and it's all true.

Elle:

Yeah, probably.

Tramp:

But that moment was just so surreal.

Elle:

Yeah, that's wild.

Tramp:

It is.

Elle:

Makes it seem so real.

Tramp:

Yeah, I would say that the desire trip with Layla was nothing short of amazing, outstanding answers and memories that, we made and that I still have are nothing short of incredible and I'll value them forever.

Jay:

Outstanding. That is, that is just perfect. That's what you want to hear for your friends.

Elle:

It's exactly what we wanted to see happen. That was what we wished for you. My heart is full right now.

Jay:

Aw. Yes. You're so cute.

Elle:

Well I have a little story which leads into something that I'm going to be doing in the future, and Jay and I just got back we went to a wedding in Vegas and we'll probably talk about that on another podcast our whole trip. But on the last night that we were there. We had finished playing with a lovely single man and had such a great time with him, and I'm getting ready for bed and I flipped a Facebook and I'm looking and there's a message on Messenger. So I opened it up and it is a message from no follow along, my sister-in-law, so my brother's wife, her brother, okay. There is no relationship. That is, I looked it up

Jay:

because we all know where this is going.

Elle:

And the message was very simple and it said, so do, do dot. Are you guys down? And then the pineapple emoji. And my eyes widened.

Jay:

I believe she elbowed me in the ribs'cause I was about shit to fall asleep shit

Elle:

and read it and whereas previously, when I've gotten that message from my sorority sister and I freaked out, I'm like, okay, well there's only one reason he is asking. He is familiar. And so I responded with something like, hmm, why would you ask a question like that? And he made some reference to some photos that we had posted on Facebook and videos and said, I know what those kind of parties look like. Now the funny thing is, the wedding we were at, there was only one other lifestyle couple except for the bride and groom. Everybody else was there ridiculously sexy friends. And so it wasn't a lifestyle event per se, but apparently it gave off the vibe. And so we started texting back and forth. And he had had a girlfriend. He's divorced and he had had a girlfriend who was in the lifestyle, introduced him to it. And he loves to go meet a couple and fuck the wife and husbands like to watch. Which I can only imagine'cause he's very handsome.

Jay:

He is extremely handsome, extremely well built ex army, takes really good care of himself and he's. Experienced the lifestyle.

Elle:

Right. So we started a little bit of flirting texting back and forth, and he confessed that back when my brother and his sister got married, gosh, I think it's about 20 years ago. He thought I was really sexy. Mm. I told him I thought he was really sexy. I

Jay:

mean, he's not wrong. Luckily they were both married to other people at the time. Right. So nothing could happen. Well, he

Elle:

wasn't married. He was single back then. Yeah. Oh yeah. He was in the middle of being in the army. But I was married to somebody else, not Jay. And we just sort of, I don't know, maybe admired each other from afar. And so this moved into, Hey, do you have any pictures of videos? And so I sent him some pictures and videos and then he sent me some live shots of. Fun he was having. And that sort of developed into, Hey, would you mind if I took a trip out to Florida and I could visit my friends that live there and maybe, we can spend some time together? He jumped right on it. I got a hold of Layla and her husband and they were going to secrets that weekend, and we started making some plans for me to go out alone for the weekend.

Jay:

Now, just going to visit Layla and her husband would be a big deal.

Elle:

Sure.

Jay:

Because LL. Has not embraced the whole hot wife thing. She doesn't go on dates

Elle:

other than tramp a little,

Jay:

right? She played, she plays with tramp without me but this is really big and really new.

Elle (2):

Yeah.

Jay:

And then to take it a step further where, she's going to hook up, spend a weekend with an old interest, shall we say? Sure. And play till her heart's content.

Elle:

Yeah.

Jay:

So, and I fully support this

Elle:

and I love it and that makes it that much more sexy too, is that you're fully supportive of this and, you know, I share all the text messages, he knows exactly what's going on and it's something new and it's something different. So I'm really excited to give this a shot and hopefully I'll have. A few fun stories to share.

Jay:

Well, and what's really fun for me is to watching her just blossom this little flirt she's becoming, because that's not her style. You know, there are women out there, they miss their husband, they pop a boob out, take a selfie thinking of you and, that's just not Elle's style. And here we are driving through the desert outside of Vegas on the way home. And he had just texted her and I'm like, take your shorts off. She's like, what? I go take your shorts off. She does. I go, get your camera, spread your legs, play with yourself. Film a 22nd video. She does it, she and she sends it to him and she's like, my God, I'm so wet. And I go, yeah, that's the point. Of course, we were driving through a spotty location, so it was, a while before he confirmed, we had no cell reception for like an hour. And she's like, did you get the video? Did you like it? And he goes, oh my God, I've already masturbated twice to it. And she just like, lights up, like, oh my God, look at me, look at me. I'm so sexy. And I'm like, I don't think I sound like that. I'm telling the story. But the point is all parties are mutually in agreement. He's very respectful. He and I have talked, she is free to play as Tramp alluded to with his story. If you're constantly thinking about your partner and looking over there and is my partner, okay, what are they doing then? Or the reverse. You're focusing too much on the person you're playing with. That's not in the equation right now. She's gonna go out there, she's being with somebody she wants, who wants her. She's got a comfort level, he's got a comfort level. She doesn't have to look over her shoulder, she doesn't have to worry about me and what I'm doing or what I'm thinking. I want her to come back with this smiling like Tramp has been smiling this entire podcast.

Elle:

I cannot tell you what it does to the ego for someone who I have found attractive to send me a text saying, I have wanted to fuck you for 20 years. That was pretty powerful to get those juices flowing.

Jay:

I bet. Good for you. And I guess we'll have to interview her on a future podcast. I think we should when she gets back,

Tramp:

but I just wanna highlight with both l and j that. That is really a testament to the security and the trust that you guys have in each other. Yeah. Thank you.

Elle (2):

Thanks.

Tramp:

That, Jay can say to L Hey, I want this for you. And l being able to embrace, okay, our relationship is paramount, but I'm so thankful that you allow me to express myself.

Elle:

Well, and this kind of goes back to the night that Jay said, I'm tired, I'm going to bed and left us to our devices. Mm-hmm. Sure. That was a huge growth for me. For you. I mean, I think you and Layla have helped each other in some things, and you and I have helped each other in some things. Oh, absolutely. And, and that feeling okay. That this isn't a cheating situation. This is my husband. Allowing me the freedom to explore another man who I find very attractive.

Elle (2):

Mm-hmm.

Elle:

And what you've given me over the last few months has been very special as well. And I wanna acknowledge that.

Jay:

Thank you. You're

Elle:

welcome.

Jay:

They're both grinning, like they're high school crushes right now. It's really disgusting. So to finish up, we've got a shout out from our number one fan in Canada. Liz how you doing, sweetie? And we do hope you come down so we can show you the ranch. She asked the question, have there been any health or safety concerns related to the lifestyle and how did you deal with it?

Elle:

Well, the only health concern that I've ever had, Jay and I get tested quarterly. I, we just started with new doctors a year ago. Mm-hmm. It was that awkward conversation with this somewhat short, older, although he's probably my age Italian guy. And to explain that I'm in the lifestyle and, I swear the man was blushing. I'm like, you're a doctor. But anyway but telling him, no, this is important. Safe sex. Get tested regularly, try to be with people who get tested regularly. And there have been several times, and it's not my fault, it's the fault of the testing where I would get a false positive on an HIV. Now, the first time that happened, it freaked me out. I was in Maui. Jay had sent me to Maui to visit some friends, and we were on a hike. I'm at the top of this mountain and I look up to see my test results and I. Couldn't breathe the entire time I walked down not knowing that what they normally do, if it comes across as positive, is that they'll do a second test, they'll run a second test. Maybe there wasn't enough so they run it again. And my doctor called, and he's like, I'm really concerned. I just wanna make sure we're gonna run it again. And then this happened a second time, and then it happened I think a third time now. And so I'm less stressed when it happens. I'm still a little anxiety because that's a concern.

Jay:

But we have a friend who had the same thing happen.

Elle:

Yes.

Jay:

And immediately reached out and started activating her lifestyle phone tree to let everyone know. Please don't do that. If it's this thing which has such a high rate of false positives, please at least give it 24 hours. Yeah. Or till, you know for sure they'll run it again right away. Otherwise you just freak out everybody.

Elle (2):

Yeah. And

Jay:

we're all on pins and needles for an entire weekend waiting to find out that it, everything's okay. Right? Mm-hmm.

Elle:

And that's the same for chlamydia or syphilis or any of those. If something comes across, take a breath, wait for them to run another test or take another test. So sometimes you gotta go back down and give another sample. But, is just to be on top of it and be aware

Jay:

and please abstain from sex until you Well, of

Tramp:

course. Yeah. Okay. I would say my take is, we've all had those situations where, the stars align and everything is right. And you may play with a couple without protection.

Elle (2):

Mm-hmm.

Tramp:

It could be under the influence or whatever reason, regardless if that's within your rules or not. Mm-hmm. You need to do the right thing. Number one, having that conversation. So if you listen to one of the old episodes with the Brazilians, that was one of those situations where after the fact we had the adult conversation and we're like, okay, that got away from us. It was fun, but we need to now take the proper precautions until everything comes back negative.

Elle:

Correct.

Jay:

Sounds good.

Tramp:

Yeah. So it's, taking responsibility for your own actions.

Elle:

Yes. And that means not having sex with other people. That's true. Until you know you're in the clear. Correct.'cause no one wants to. Do that to somebody else, and you don't wanna feel responsible for that. Mm-hmm. I would feel horrid. I would too. Absolutely. You know, I would feel bad. It happened to me too. But if it does, then happen, you absolutely need to tell them, and you have to abstain from sex until then.

Tramp:

Well, guys, this has been a fantastic hi, fantastic episode.

Elle:

It's the episode we've been waiting for,

Tramp:

so you guys can definitely look forward to more sexy stories from the Tramp. I know I've been fairly dry. We,

Elle:

Wanted to keep it just outta respect for what he was going through. Just kind of keep it, let's interview other people. Let's talk about things that are somewhat generic and it had to happen and that's okay.

Tramp:

No, very true, very true. But guys, we're just so thankful that you have chosen to come on this journey with us. If you'd like to reach out to us with an a MA or just, an email to say hi, we can be reached at unapologetic swingers@gmail.com. Our website is also unapologetic swingers.com, and the biggest ask that we have is wherever you happen to be listening to us, just leave us a rating or review. That would mean the world to us.

Elle:

Yeah. That bumps us up a little bit. We wanna be heard by more people. We wanna be recognized in the middle of nowhere. I, well, maybe not in Walmart, but I don't know that

Jay:

I do, but okay. Thank you for speaking for both of us.

Elle:

Oh, I think that'd be so cool. Until next time, I'm Al

Tramp:

and I'm the tramp.

Elle:

Be sexy,

Tramp:

be confident.

Elle:

Be unapologetic.