Unapologetic Swingers
Follow us on our sexy adventures and sometimes misadventures as we find our way through the swinging lifestyle.
Unapologetic Swingers
Unapologetic Swingers: Episode 23 - All Girls Show Part 2
While the Tramp is away, Elle will play! Buckle in for an all girls episode.
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Welcome back to Unapologetic Swingers. I'm Al and today we're doing part two of our very special episode. The All Girls Show. Why Tramp is off having his own adventures in Mexico. So I have brought together two of my very favorite women and we've been going through a list of questions and then creating our own as we go. And there was definitely too much to talk about the first time around. So. We decided that we would hit it for a second time and cover a few more topics'cause we're just having such a great time and the mimosas are flowing and life is good. So, I'd like to welcome Nikki and Polly and maybe if you could just give me a, quick rundown of who you are and what you guys like. And we don't have to do the whole, if you wanna know how they got in the lifestyle, you can listen to the first part of episode 21, but just to kind of introduce them for a moment.
Nikki:Okay. Hi everybody. I'm Nikki in the lifestyle for about two years now. Bisexual and liking a lot of constellations and events and so far, having a great time.
Polly:Hey everyone. I'm Polly. I've also been in the lifestyle for about two years and I'm also bi. Just exploring new things, meeting new people, and having some really fun experiences.
Elle:Oh, lovely, lovely. Okay, so, where we left off wanted to talk about our thoughts on resorts, clubs, cruises different venues in which we meet people big. Groups of sexy, fun people and what we like and maybe what we're we don't like, if that's there. Just to talk about real quick,
Polly:I love going to the clubs. And I'm so spoiled living here and getting to go to Scarlet Ranch because Yep. From everybody that I have talked to that's gone to clubs all around the world, the ranch is the best that there is. And so. In my limited experience, I'm gonna say a thousand percent. Yes, I agree with that. We have been to two other clubs. We went to one club in Dallas and there were four single men and nobody else. Oh. And I looked at my husband and I was like, Nope. Not stay. This is not the place for us. And then more recently we went to a club in Florida and it was really fun. It was a fun vibe. It was a fun theme night. It was men's button downs unbuttoned. Mm. And so I've done that. And what was, where was the club? What was it? It was in Fort Lauderdale. It was trap Trapes. Okay. I've heard good things about Trap. I liked, I've been there too. And, and it was nice it's not the ranch. Nope. And so I did think there were some oddities about it. But it was a nice experience to go someplace new and see what else was out there. I have not been. On a cruise. We haven't gone to a resort yet, but we are going to be going to desire for the first time this year.
Elle:Oh. I think you're gonna enjoy it. It's like the ranch on Sunday. Sunday, but you actually get a pool. That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. It'll be great. You're gonna have a good time. You'll meet all sorts of people. You'll find that some people that are there are, you have to ask questions because they might be just, they like to be naked. Yeah. Or they like to watch or they like to be watched. So it's not an assumption that somebody is lifestyle and ready to get down exactly. And boogie. But it's a great free place to be.
Nikki:Nikki? So, we like to go to clubs too, where we're members at the ranch. Mm-hmm. We do like the, when we travel. See if there's anything in the town for sure. Where we end up to see is there a club, is there not, is there any activity? So we've been to trapeze in Fort Lauderdale. Really enjoyed it. After the ranch, one of my favorites. Oh, for good things. It's, it's fun. It's sexy. But then the funny thing is the Florida laws are different. You're not allowed to undress on the dance floor. There's no nudity. If you go in, as a man, it's collar and long pants. Mm-hmm. And then the kicker for me was if you go to the playroom, you have to take all your clothes off. Right? Just wear a towel, put a towel. Put all your clothes away in a walker, no shoes, nothing. And then you go buck naked. You are supposed to go after these like doors and you have no idea what's there. Yeah, exactly. And it's the weirdest experience. It was, I guess at the ranch you can wander around and it's nice. You can get also comfortable with the idea. Right, right. You know, is a sexy, you go down sexy and look and watch. Exactly. Am I comfortable? It's much more.
Polly:At your own pace? Or is it trape? Like you just jump in.
Nikki:Yeah. You don't go past the doors if you, if you have clothes on.
Polly:Yep. And you are just
Nikki:kinda like, what? Mm-hmm. So
Polly:that was the experience. There's no like, at least at the ranch, you know where you've got the little cabanas where you can close the curtains and you can have some sort of privacy if you want it. Whereas at trapeze it's just one giant room with a bunch of
Nikki:beds,
Polly:vinyl covered beds, no sheets. Like it was just. That part of it was odd.
Nikki:It's just different, let's put it that way. It's just different. It's different. But the interesting thing is because you're in a different state, that they do have certain laws apparently. Right.'cause then we went to another club in Orlando Secrets.
Elle:Oh yes. They've been there.
Nikki:And they did do have the same thing. Interesting. You have to take all your clothes off, but there you have a nice pool. Yeah. And it's more of an outdoor indoor And we had a phenomenal time there actually. But we were, familiar with, oh, I guess you have to take all your clothes off to go into the playroom.
Elle:Right. Which, which was
Nikki:fine.
Elle:We went there about a month or so ago to visit our friends and went to Secrets for one of the nights. We actually didn't even make it into the playroom. We did walk around the BDSM room. Mm-hmm. Which was very impressive. We just have the crosses set up in a couple of little stations or whatever. And this was a whole room, probably about the size of the whole downstairs. I totally missed that. Oh, yeah. Oh no. It just filled with different stations and different things to do. It was actually, and they had like four or five people working there standing around making sure that everybody's. Behaving? No. Yes, exactly. It was I, I thought that was really cool. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Okay.
Nikki:So I've never tried like a real BDSM club or kink, just that. Mm-hmm. It's always seems to be, there's a room, there's an afterthought. Is it Dungeon
Polly:in Denver? You can go to
Nikki:Oh, I've never tried that.
Polly:Oh,
Nikki:I've never been. No, I either, I've read about it. Yeah. But it is here it is here
Polly:in Denver.
Nikki:And then one of the other funniest things is we were traveling internationally and we. Were in Prague. Mm-hmm. And we figured we will be fun to like go to a club in a foreign country. So we went and we get there, found the thing online and. Whatever. You go in, you have to pay. And the guy was very much like, pay now. Pay now. You're like, okay, okay. We're paying now. You go in. Nobody was there. It wasn't a soul in
Polly:why he wanted your money to get to get of the night.
Nikki:Wow. They had a glory hole in the head of this and the head of that, and we were the only two in the whole place, plus a bartender. Oh. Was it just too
Elle:early?
Nikki:It was on a Tuesday night. Oh, you know, we, were there you know how it goes. It just, we were several days here, several days there and blah blah. But it was, such a funny thing to laugh about now afterwards. I mean, it's seems like so
Elle:packed and we just wanna make sure we get your money. Well, and then the other thing is cruises. So we went on our first cruise this last year. You guys were on that with us and we loved it. It's like desire where you've got all these sexy people in one area and everybody, doing their thing. But the thing with, and we've said this on another podcast, was that a desire? You, might meet someone great tonight, but they're going home tomorrow.
Polly:Right? You
Elle:know, everybody's coming and going at different times, or you don't really know who you're gonna meet. And there's the tops of what, 300 people there. Maybe. Mm-hmm. And you get on the cruise, and this last one, it was so big and it was 6,000 people and everybody's there from the start to finish. You know, if you see somebody and you connect, you exchange information. We wound up seeing the same people several times. Mm-hmm. So it wasn't such so big that we lost them. And then if you're not hitting it off with somebody, which doesn't always happen. You turn around and you go, there's another, yeah. Right. There's another 500. 5,998 people else out there and you can find somebody and find your people.
Nikki:So I had never been on a cruise before at all. I done. I had not either. Same thing. So for me it was like the big jump into cruising in general. Yeah. And I must say it is a lot of fun. My thing is only like how many days is optimal. Right. So the one we went on, it was seven days. Seven days, yeah. Seven days, six nights. Mm-hmm. And I thought it was a little long. Mm-hmm. At one point I was kind of like, I don't mind seeing some land. Right. I guess I'm more of a land person than I knew. But the, fun part is every night there's several activities. There's theme nights, meet and greets, meet and greets. There's workshops, there's many bars to like connect or whatever. But I do think is what you're saying is you are there for the whole duration of the cruise altogether.
Polly:Mm-hmm.
Nikki:And if you see a beautiful couple and it just doesn't happen day one. You still have five other days to see if it's gonna work or not. Yeah. Right. And then conversely, there's another 3000 couples there that, in case that one doesn't work out. Yeah. Right. So it, it is a lot of fun, I would say. We really enjoyed it because we knew quite a few people from here Yes. That were on the cruise. Yeah. So you have an instant group of, hey, you know, you can go out for dinner or drink, or Hey, how are you? You know, it's, you don't feel lost because mm-hmm. I mean, there was probably 20 couples that we knew. Oh, easily. Yeah. And there was a number of people
Elle:from here that I never met. Like they had posted a picture on Facebook that we're all here on this cruise. And I'm like, I dunno, these people,
Nikki:yeah. You know, I mean
Elle:There's so many people, it's just, it's hard to. No, everybody, but, but that,
Nikki:but I, I do think that was one of the nice things, right? And so some of our close friends were on it and that part is just a lot of fun. And then the other fun thing is they have all these hot tubs and you different pools at three in the morning you can get food and you go play and now I'm hungry so it's that part, is a lot of fun. Yeah. Yeah. We also have been the desire, the only thing I would say there. Is, I guess like with any of the resorts, same like a cruise. It just depends who's there. Yeah. Right. I mean, is it a total potluck? Right. Sure. And then desire's a lot smaller. Right? Right. So it's like you said, maybe 300 people in total. We really enjoyed it. The dancing was great and the food is phenomenal.
Polly:Mm-hmm.
Nikki:In desire. I I thought that was really, really nice.
Polly:Yeah.
Nikki:Yeah. But for the rest, I don't know if I have a preference resort over cruise or mm-hmm. You know? Yeah. No, I mean, it's all super sexy and super fun.
Elle:We're, we're just trying to experience as many things as we can. Mm-hmm. While, like we said in the last one, while we're still able to, like when we first got in the lifestyle, we thought we got three years stops, and now we are five years into it. It's like, I think we got another couple years here, that we can do this and we have such a great. Friendship community. Mm-hmm. That, we're all aging together, so you definitely have that benefit. Okay. So we were talking earlier before we even got on the recording and had some conversation about single men in the lifestyle and bringing them into. Your fold and your safe space and what that's like. And then we ventured into creepers at the club. So, but I'd say let's start with single men and our thoughts on that. And I don't know, Holly, if you have No yeah, haven't
Polly:we have not,
Elle:And, experiences are hit and miss because there's a lot of single men that, jay will talk with them on Cassidy or on SDC and communicate and try and set something up. And then at the last minute, poof, all of a sudden they're gone. And, we're concerned. Okay. Are they actually not single and they married and their wife found out, or they found they're part of the lifestyle, but they didn't want anything to do with it and they backed out, And so there's a, a level of honesty that we appreciate with a lot of the single men that we do know and that are upstanding. Good guys that, for us it's big. If you're at the ranch or if you're at a club or you're somewhere and there's a theme going on. Dress for the theme, make a statement, go up and talk to people. And we were there the other night and so many. Single guys that come in, don't talk to anybody. Mm-hmm. Stand in the corner, go downstairs, just start creeping around. Oh. And then we'd look, I just segued into the creeping. And how challenging that is. We wanna bring them in, we wanna accept them, but if they're not making any effort to try and talk to us and, and be a human, then it's really difficult.
Polly:I think it's really important if you're gonna come into the lifestyle as a single man. That. Yeah, you do. You need to make that effort. You need to go up and you need to talk to people. But I think that what's really important is if you're a single man and you're approaching a couple, you need to approach the man first. Mm-hmm. Agreed. Don't just walk, we say that a hundred percent. Walk up single woman and be like, Hey baby, because you're gorgeous. Exactly. Because that happens to me a lot. We single guys will just come up to me and my husband's standing right there next to me and he's like, hello, what about me? Yeah. Yeah. And that's one of the really big reasons that we haven't. Dabbled in that side of it yet. And another part of it, it just did at this moment in time, it's not really what we're looking for, I guess. Mm-hmm. That being said, I have met there's three single guys that I have met that are amazing, kind.
Elle:Good humans. Really,
Polly:really good gentlemen. Mm-hmm. Really good humans are. They're respectful, they're polite. They've never been pushy with me. No. And so my husband and I have had this conversation that, you know, if and when we get to the point where that is an option for us, I said these, and I suppose him, I said, these are the only three that I would entertain that option. Yeah. At this point in time. And he's like, if it came up, he's like, I would be okay with these three. Right, because they're respectful to him. They're respectful to me, and they're just really good people. Mm-hmm.
Nikki:Yeah,
Polly:I agree with that.
Nikki:Well, I guess it comes down to communication again. Totally. Like everything in the lifestyle episode we started out, basically, one of our boundaries was no single man, because it just seemed, we weren't there. It, it just didn't seem right. We were on a cruise early on and. The cruise line or the organization that put the cruise on. I think they had invited X amount of single men. Oh.
Elle:And that's not usual.
Nikki:Well, it, it, I don't know exactly how it worked, but it almost seemed like they would be like swarming on the dance floor mm-hmm. And waiting to see if they could, hunt to pray. No, it was very odd. Mm-hmm. And, and so we saw that and we were like, okay, that's just odd. That's not respectful. That's not what you want. Yeah. And then we sort of, ventured on our journey through the lifestyle, and then we found that it's really hard making that four-way connection. Right. Right. It's, and then sometimes, you do play and, not that you're taking one for the team, but maybe the one couple is having a little bit more fun than the other, the other couple. Sure. And that, and that happens, right? Mm-hmm. It's not all mm-hmm. Stars and, and, fireworks every time for all four people. And so then we were sort of getting into this thing like, well, a lot of times it's in my partner's favor. Was just going great, going great. And I was kinda like, well, and not only sexually, it was also just the meet and greets, drinks and dinner. It just, every time I fell flat and I'm like, no, not it, not it, not it. And then my partner was kinda like, well, geez, maybe we should revisit the whole thing with a single male because. Then you get a lot more attention from that single male because they need to work for it. Right? Right. They, they can't just sit there at dinner and talk about, sports or whatever. They really have to win you over. They have to win me over. So they just have to, work for it. So we really recently just ventured into that. And definite ground rules I don't communicate with, with any of the guys. Mm-hmm. My partner does. And no texting, no nothing. And and I'm absolutely fine with that, but we have a lot of good giggles. Like, what do you think about this? What do you think about that? We look at all the pictures together and all that. Mm-hmm. And I guess that's where the whole dick pic thing came in, which we need to elaborate on later. Yeah. Yeah. But I have to say, good segue, we were super lucky to find a really great gentleman who is in our age range.'cause that was important to me. Right. I was not interested in a young buck who's 20? Nope. it just turned me off. My, my son's
Elle:32, that's like my top, and, and that's still very low for me. So
Nikki:even that I just wanted to be somebody. Like me or like us who appreciate where we are in life, and you have something to talk about together. And it's not just weird and awkward. Because there's, so much of that. You get all these weird emails like, oh yeah, you could be my mom. It's like, oh, oh, okay, great. That's the quickest way to the bottom file. So, we had this wonderful experience and it was very rewarding and fun, and it worked out great. But so far it's been our only one. And now we're kind of at that thought process well, is that a one and done? Is that we'll see this gentleman more often, do we wanna see somebody else? And we really haven't figured that out. We're just digesting and I'm also kinda like, there's so many different things you can do in the lifestyle. You don't have to only go for the same, or only this or only that. So, you know, try it all. It's a beautiful addition to the lineup.
Elle:Mm-hmm. Well, I think, it depends on that person, like. We have, Cassidy does a thing, and I think it's in other cities too, where there's a girls uncorked. Yeah. And it's, and we've all been to that. Mm-hmm. And love that. And I kind of feel like this is a little bit of that. But it's women getting together, not a play party. And you spend time talking and socializing, building those relationships, those friendships, and then everybody sits around and then we talk about how we got in the lifestyle and what it means to us. And, I've always. Really pushed women who are new in the lifestyle to go to those meetings because it gives them an opportunity to hear everybody's story. Mm-hmm. Realize everybody's in a different place. That everybody's looking for something different, and so that they don't feel like, oh, I'm not as, advanced as you or like that. It's like, no, you don't even have to be, you could be in this for three years and you've been with one other couple, mm-hmm. But you like the vibe or you don't play with anybody, everything goes. But the guys will meet, like, and drop the women off, and then they go to a bar and mm-hmm. And do guys untapped. And Jay was at one and, there's probably seven or eight guys that were sitting there, and a single gentleman came up probably mid fifties. So our and sat down, he said, he's like, Hey, is this, that guy's group for, you know, and, and jay's like, yeah sit down, let's talk. He's like, okay, well I'm kind of new to this. He's like, all right. And so Jay gave him his sage words of advice, when you're meeting somebody. Greet the gentleman first, but the compliment to him about his wife, make it about, connect him into there. If there's a theme, wear something. It's a good conversation starter. Oh my gosh, I love that hat. That looks great. People will talk to you. We went to a house party where a guy showed up. It was a Valentine's Day and it was a tutu and a corset and, and combat boots, and, he was. Of a shorter stature, but the head of the party, he was seriously. And then later on we saw him playing with another couple. It's like, you go, that was how you do it. So he is telling him these things of how to be a good single guy and to get somewhere and the lifestyle. And the guy turns and looks at him and goes, yeah, I'm too old for that. I don't need to work that hard.
Polly:Bye. Okay,
Elle:well then you're probably done here because. We all are having to work to some degree to make these things happen so you're not exempt just because you have a penis. So anyway, that was my 2 cents story. But that does kind of roll into what we were gonna talk about too is creepers where you're at a club or you're at a party and it's generally the single gentleman. Mm-hmm. And that are, walking around and they are not. Talking to anybody, and they're dropping a lot of money to go into a club. Mm-hmm. Statement. Mm-hmm. I mean, they are really are. And to not try to make any communication with someone. And Jay will always try to reach out to somebody at least once when they're there and they look new. But then to go downstairs where everybody's playing. So we were at the ranch a couple of Wednesdays ago. We go and we'll have dinner. It kind of starts our weekend off and, have a nice. Dinner together, wonderful steak dinner. And then we might go downstairs and play for a little while. And this guy was walking around and it was just, it was invasive, you know? And at one point we had finished playing and there's a co-ed bathroom downstairs, and I was walking to it naked. And when I came out of the stall at the end of the hallway of the bathroom, it's very open. There's a sofa and this gentleman was just sitting there. There's no one else around, and just him watching me. Come out of the bathroom naked and I'm washing my hands thinking to myself, how am I gonna get past this? I don't normally feel uncomfortable at the club. And I was very uncomfortable to walk by this guy. And I heard someone say something to him like, Hey dude, you know, you're creeping some people out. Turns out it was Jay. He had seen him over there. There was another gal, it was her first night. She was feeling uncomfortable because he was just, looking in when he shouldn't. And he was just. Not respectful of people's space and privacy, and so we were getting dressed and we could hear him talking with Richard, the attendant downstairs, and he was giving pushback. And, and Richard was like, Hey dude, you're making some women feel uncomfortable. You need to watch what you're doing. And he's pushing back and saying, well, what was it that guy, I'll talk to him, blah, blah. And then his voice kept raising. And then Richard was like, no, that's not how this is gonna go. And so we went upstairs, got the manager, sent him down, and, and that guy was escorted out and will not be back. So just because you pay a whole bunch of money, you don't get the right. To just insert yourself wherever you want. Mm-hmm. I guess is my message.
Polly:Absolutely. And you have to be respectful. We had an instance, several months ago where we were downstairs and I was getting flogged. And this gentleman, came up to my husband and introduced himself and said, he was new, he'd never been there before. And then his next question out of his mouth is, how's the dude get laid around here? And my husband looked at me. He goes, not by asking that question, and so you just, you gotta be respectful and you have to be polite and. Don't get too close for comfort. It's not a free for all.
Elle:Yeah. This isn't a peep show. No. Mm-hmm. I mean it is, but it's not, keep it a distance.
Nikki:And I think the other thing is, there's this universal code of, hey, if the curtains are closed in a playroom, that means people do not wanna be watched. Mm-hmm. If they're open, then they don't have an issue with it. Mm-hmm. Some clubs have little velvet ropes. I don't know if you've seen it. So it's kinda interesting. So you can leave the curtains open and then there's a velvet rope and you can close it, meaning you can watch but not come in.
Polly:Mm-hmm.
Nikki:Seems fair. Or the velvet rope is down and the curtains are open. So then it's like you may come in, but you still gotta ask. Absolutely. Absolutely. But, it is interesting how clubs come up with various traffic signs to sort of direct, right? Mm-hmm. But then it's also onto these single males to then, respect that. Mm-hmm. And be knowledgeable about, Hey, this is the way it goes. And don't just stand there. Yeah. Because that's, one of the things we were playing once in the summer last year and then we were talking about it before and all of a sudden there's somebody standing there like half a foot away. Yeah. Personal space. And we had the same a desire. Yeah. We were playing together outside under the stars. It was a beautiful night. And you look over and there's somebody seriously like half a foot away and alone and just like weirdly staring. Mm-hmm. It's just weird, there is that difference between voyeurism and being creepy. And being creepy. Yes. Yeah. There, you know, fine line. Mm-hmm.
Elle:Which then I think rolls us right into unsolicited dick pics.
Polly:I don't know about you, but I solicit them though. Well, and that fine, I do not, well, I don't want'em,
Nikki:I, guess for me it's more as a female, if you are on an app like Cassidy or on a day, like any dating app probably, I am not interested in seeing 20 pictures of your day. Right. You could put on one like nice lighting, if you need to highlight the fact that, I got eight inches and blah, blah. Right? I mean it's, there's always that comment, but I'd rather see like, Hey, this is me. Doing soccer. This is me at the bar. This is me. Look at me. I'm, I'm kayaking. Yeah. Or whatever. That's more. And then communicating
Elle:and showing me you have a brain. Yes. Yes. And you're intelligent and you'll make me laugh and we can have a conversation.'cause
Nikki:instead of like 20 dick pics, like just, okay, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. And it's like, really what? I don't, I don't,
Polly:yeah. Because I don't enjoy it. I don't care how big your dick is, if you're an asshole or if, and if you can't carry on a conversation. Nothing's gonna happen anyway. Nothing's gonna happen.
Nikki:I also find it's almost a little creepy, because I don't send pictures of my vi jj, you know, I mean mm-hmm. If there's a picture that I'm in bed or whatever, it's just part of the total picture. Right. Right. But not just like, focus on my crotch, like, here look at my crotch. Right. It's like, and then,
Elle:hey again, don't wanna yuck a yum. Somebody else might like that. That's fine. Absolutely. Absolutely. But I think in general, people would rather have a little bit of a connection with somebody before you start getting those. Show us who you
Nikki:are. Yeah. Show us who you are. And just sending a dick pic doesn't show me anything.
Elle:Mm-hmm. Exactly. Mm-hmm. No. Okay. So then what are some of the big surprises that you have found going through, the lifestyle, things that you went, oh, I had no idea that it was gonna be that way.
Polly:I have several the first being that when I went to the club for the first time, like I, in my head, imagine like the craziest, wildest. Orgy
Elle:orgy
Polly:with just, dicks flying everywhere, come on the walls, just like this giant, massive sex fest, which is not at all what it was. Secondly, I am shocked that I have met some of my very closest friends to this. Yes. And wasn't at all what I was anticipating. The people are so genuine. Like, there's no pre pretense. Pretense pre Mm. Yeah. There's none of that. Still some, there's still some cliqueiness. Sure. To some extent. But for the most part, the people I've met are kind, they're real, they're genuine. Mm-hmm. They are, committed to their partners mm-hmm. And to their families. And it's not just a bunch of broken souls trying to fix a damaged marriage. Right. Some are young, some are old. Mm-hmm. Some of the older ones have really surprised me because mm-hmm.
Elle:You're still
Polly:kicking. Good for you. I was like, good for you. I hope I'm still doing that when I'm 85. Yeah. And it's just been a great experience overall for us. Mm-hmm.
Nikki:Mm-hmm. I would say the same. It's been an absolute great experience. One of the things that surprised me probably the most is you do go on a journey. Yes. Right? You start off and, oh, I'm never gonna do that
Polly:Uhhuh,
Nikki:or I'm, I've never anticipated that. I might like it. And then you see it and then you're kind of like, well actually this is really fun. That's just like, it might be fun. I wanna try that. And then also having the opportunity to be able to try it. Mm-hmm. You can almost make any sexual fantasy you have come alive if you want to. Mm-hmm. And that is one of those eye-opening things. And at the same time, I feel very unjudged by others. Yes. Right. You can talk about it, and a lot of people are very open and you can talk about your wildest fantasies, and I've never really had it that anybody's kind of like you say what?
Polly:Mm-hmm.
Nikki:So that is one of the surprising thing. And then on the flip side, and we talked about it earlier, I am somewhat surprised as in how BDSM and kink is. Not fully accepted by the swingers.'cause a lot of swingers are still deep down vanilla,
Elle:right? And actually like if you
Nikki:go down the rabbit hole of of of more BDSM and more flogging and more kink. It's just that there is some eyebrow raising.
Elle:Right. And that's a good segue. I wanted to touch base on that because I know you and your partner mm-hmm. Are into the kink and the bdsm mm-hmm. As well as swinging, which is unusual to have somebody who's into both, but finds that balance and finds out where it works and at what point would you tell us a little bit more about what. You get out of the kink in the BDSM mm-hmm. And, things that you wish people understood about it that might be fallacies out there.
Nikki:Mm-hmm. I think you are into BDSM or kink if pain gives you pleasure. I don't know if that makes sense, but for me, not pain like injuring, like you're gonna cut my leg off. Right. You're not bleeding Exactly. But a slap, a scratch a flogging, it heightens your senses. Mm-hmm. And it just turns beyond wildly.
Polly:Mm-hmm.
Nikki:And it's also the dominant submissive undertone that whoever is being flogged, I guess is more submissive and the whole dominance thing. But. What people don't understand is A, we mainly do it together at home.
Elle:Right,
Nikki:right. It's not, is it a
Elle:group play?
Nikki:It's not a group play. If I'm at a at a house party, I'm not gonna go buck wild and do it. It's just really something we have as a couple.
Polly:Mm-hmm.
Nikki:And also because it's probably a little bit more equipment and more, yeah. Accessories, items to bring accessories and so on. But then also it's kind of like. I I'm not gonna force it onto you. That's one of the reactions we had once we were at a party and somebody had all these floggers out,
Polly:I was at that party.
Nikki:Right? And, and we were,, it was somewhat odd. We're all having fun and there's this beautiful couch and these floggers are laying there, right? And it was kind of very inviting. And my partner and I were both kinda like, see this, right? They're, they're, they're not there for decoration, they're there for having someone. We should use them. Yeah. So we did, and that raised eyebrows. At one point the host came and like, please stop. People have complained. Why? Why did they Well, I
Polly:think it was just people were just uncomfortable. They were uncomfortable. Yeah. They were uncomfortable. It was just the wrong crowd for it. It was the wrong crowd. Right. It's not, something that I think that group of people. Was used to seeing at at all. Right? Yeah. At all. So I think you were just, but
Nikki:it made me feel so sad because Yeah. You know, sorry, it made you
Polly:feel like that.
Nikki:Well, because it's kind of like you are opening yourself up and you're showing what you like. You're being vulnerable. Yeah. And then, you get totally shut down they don't even have the decency to come on over and be like, Hey, not the time, they went to complain. It's like complaining to the principal. Mm-hmm. Joey ate my lunch. Right. It was a really weird experience and it really taught us we really have to be more careful as in your target audience. Right. And it's somewhat unfair is not the right word, but it's somewhat, yeah. Not something you expect in the lifestyle. Right. You expect openness for everything. Yeah. Yeah. And that's with kink and BDSM, I would say some people absolutely. But there's many that are uncomfortable.
Elle:And the whole point of the lifestyle is to be open and accepting. Mm-hmm. You don't have to wanna do it, you don't have to need that either. Well, and, but you should never yuck somebody else's. Yum.
Nikki:Right. But also on top of that is they have to realize. Just because I like it, I'm not gonna force it on you. Yeah.
Elle:Right. And, and
Nikki:that is the thing with what happened during that party that people were like, don't hit me. There was one woman and it was kinda like, we're not, not happening. Yeah. It was so outta context. And it was so unpleasant that it took us a long time to then say, okay, well we'll do this in public. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Totally understandable. And kink I guess is more. Also more at home. I would would say personal than, really like in group play.
Elle:And it's nice. The ranch does on the third Fridays of every month mm-hmm. Have a kink night, which is kind of kink light and, but it gives an opportunity for people to dress a little bit, a little dirtier. Yeah. Yep. And they'll have different people there. There's some very skilled. Floss that come and, show people, they want you to know the proper way to do that. And if you wanna experience, this is what it's gonna feel like. And then they keep in touch with you or they'll have the electricity. Mm-hmm. And you can try that. Or, there's hot rocks or there's flames. A lot of people really like the flames or they're curious and the hot wax. And so you wouldn't normally experiment with something like that except in that situation. Mm-hmm. It's light, but it is a great opportunity for people just to dip a toe in, have a more of understanding for it, and to have an appreciation for it, whether they decide to do anything with it or not.
Nikki:Have you guys tried the wand, the electric wand? I
Elle:have tried the electric wand. It's our,
Nikki:is that the velvet
Elle:wand? No, it's not electricity. It's called the violet electricity. Violet one. The violet one. Violet one, yeah.
Nikki:Yeah. You can turn it up, dial it up or down, and you get this electrical current. Yeah. And so one time we were at a house party and I think we worked with like eight people and if you hold onto each other it's, it's like an elementary school
Elle:science projects. Awesome.
Nikki:It was so much fun. And then we were starting to zap vaginas and, and breasts and dicks. It was like so funny and at one point everybody from the kitchen came upstairs'cause my partner was like, squealing from, from delight, from these little zaps of electricity. It was so much fun. Oh, that's funny. It was really funny. Yeah.
Elle:Well, thank you for sharing that part of your life with us. Mm-hmm. A part of. Your life, Polly is, is very much been your journey with women and your appreciation for it and wanting to explore that more and come across more women. And I'd just like you to take a moment and talk to us. There's an organization that you belong to that is very dear to your heart, and I just wanted to give you an opportunity to talk about it because there may be other women out there that are looking for something like this.
Polly:Mm-hmm. Thank you. I appreciate the opportunity to talk about it. So. When I first got started in the lifestyle, I, was looking to connect with women and there was a woman who had a profile on Cassidy and she said she was, bisexual and if you're looking to meet more bisexual women or learn more about this, you should check out this organization called The Skirt Club. And I had never heard about it. And so I did a little bit of research and the Skirt Club is based in the uk It is a paid membership club for women. Who are bisexual, bi curious and they need to be feminine presenting. Mm-hmm. Because it's very much touching into your deep feminine parts of your body. And so you have to go through a pretty rigorous application process, submit photographs, and you're either accepted or you're denied. It's an international organization, they've got branches all over the world, and it's a great way to meet other women who have similar interests. To you as far as their sexuality. Sometimes we just go out and have cocktails. Sometimes we'll go paddle boarding or to a comedy show. Sometimes we have what we call miniskirt parties where, we'll go out and go see a show and get drinks and then, go back to a hotel room for, an hour or two and maybe there's some light making out, some kissing, some petting. Sometimes there's a little bit more. But then they also have what are called signature. Skirt club parties, they're not all night long, but they last until about two o'clock in the morning. And it is specifically a sex party for women. And you go in and there's appetizers, dessert, champagne. Always have snacks. Always have snacks. There's usually entertainment. So we've had like a burlesque dancer come in, oh, that fun. Do a show for us. And then it leads into the playtime part of the evening where, it's usually a penthouses hotel room, private home villa, that kind of situation that gives women the opportunity to explore the more sexual side of a relationship with another woman. They do weekend getaways, different international cities. Wow. And it's just, it's a great way to meet women. They focus a lot on embracing your sexuality, learning about yourself, how to pleasure yourself, how. To pleasure another woman, sexual wellness. We've done yoni egg workshops talking, about how to, strengthen your pelvic muscles pleasure mapping, figuring out, what pleases you, how to please somebody else, and it's just been a really great experience.
Elle:Well, good. And I noticed,'cause I went to one of the meet and greets with you and it wasn't a bunch of lifestyle women. No, no. I was, I realized that early on, so I'm like, oh, I can't talk as freely, but then you came over and you're talking about it and I'm like, oh, okay.
Polly:Yeah, most of the women there, I mean, there's a wide variety of ages. Most of'em are mid twenties. I'm definitely on the older end of the spectrum. Most of them are married. A lot of them have kids and, their husbands, I think most of their husbands know about it. I don't, I haven't met anybody yet whose husband doesn't know that they're, doing this. And it was just a great way to build,, a broader network of similarly minded women who are interested in exploring that side of their sexuality.
Elle:I fully support anything that does that, you know? Mm-hmm. For anybody in their sexuality to be in an open environment where it's accepted mm-hmm. And you're not feeling the shame and you can talk about it with other people and, work through anything that you've got going on.
Nikki:Yeah. And I guess have some fun at the same time. Well, there's that too. Hopefully there's themes to all of the events, right. And so
Polly:there's lots of times, we did an event an over a. It was, we did actually a weekend play party last year and it was let them eat cake. That was the mean. And so we all dressed up like Maria Antoinette. And so each of the parties has a really distinct, unique theme. They do fun pool parties. We're gonna do a cooking class later this summer. So just all sorts of different fun things. And there's always a way to make your party a little bit sexier. So the cooking class we're gonna do is gonna be topless. Hey, I like that. Can't do that. I heard
Nikki:about a party where where as long as there's no display aprons.
Polly:That's gonna be it. Okay. Yep. Yep. All right. Everybody's gonna wear well, they can wear pants if they want to, but you don't have to. Don't not
Elle:required. Everybody's gonna get an apron as long as you're not deep frying something. No. There'll be no deep frying. Well, excellent. Well, is there anything else that you guys wanna talk about? That was kind of our list that we put together. I really appreciate the time that you guys have taken today. Mm-hmm.
Polly:No, I just think that it's important that people know that people that are in the lifestyle, they're not freaks, they're not sexual deviants. Yeah. They're not gonna hurt you. They're not gonna come into your life and disrupt your way of living. It's a way that can consenting adults. Yes, can explore different parts of their sexuality and I think it's healthy. Mm-hmm. You know, especially when, couples are doing it together. Mm-hmm. It has brought my husband and I closer together. We tried things that neither of us thought that we would or could. Get to a point where we could try. Mm-hmm. And it has done nothing but make our relationship stronger. So, I'm just sad we didn't do it, 20 years ago.
Elle:Yeah. I'd be a different person though, because the clock's ticking.
Polly:Yeah. I would've been a very different person 20 years ago. And it's nice now doing this, at an, age where. I have the maturity and the wisdom and the comfort in my own skin. Yeah. And I think that's kind of one of the, going back to one of the surprises is that I'm more comfortable in my own skin than I've ever been in my life. Yes. It has given me confidence to ask for what I want in bed. Yep. And to be able to say, I am not just here. For your pleasure. Mm-hmm. I deserve pleasure out of it too. And I'm going to take that pleasure, uhhuh, and, and I'm gonna tell you what I need to make that happen. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And so it's just been a great experience for me.
Nikki:Lovely. Yeah. And I think for us it's been like talk, talk, talk. Communication. Communication. Mm-hmm. I think in a, vanilla relationship, it's really easy to just gloss over things and, everything is just going it's merry way. And here you have so many new, unexpected experiences that you have to work through. Mm-hmm. See if you want to and like, or it's, it's also very. Deep in your soul with your sensuality. Are you okay with this or not? The communication part is phenomenal how much that has increased, and then also how that then helps the general lifestyle. Yeah. It's, really cool in that sense.
Elle:Yeah. Well, ladies, I really appreciate you spending all this time with me today, especially since we did the one episode. And didn't hit the record button, but hey, live and learn and Tramp will be back and he can help me out with that next time. But again, just like last episode. That was a big fat ask me anything and we talked about a lot of things and so just wanted to thank everybody who listens and coming on this journey with us and asking questions for later that we can answer any ideas for podcast episodes and topics that we can talk about. Pretty much an open book. So tramp and I are looking forward to, maybe doing some more episodes about. Sexual adventures and fun stuff that's going on in our lives, and we just really love how this is evolving. So until next time, I'm Elle, be sexy, be confident
Polly:and be unapologetic.
I.