Unapologetic Swingers

Unapologetic Swingers: Episode 26 - Permission Granted: Hotwife or Just a Hall Pass?

• Unapologetic Swingers • Season 1 • Episode 26

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This week we deep dive into the difference and if there is one. Plus, Elle recounts her latest sexy solo adventure. 

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Elle:

Welcome back to Unapologetic Swingers. I'm El and I'm the Tramp,

Tramp:

We just want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your continued interaction with us and listening to us and all the reviews. It's just been amazing to have you come on this journey with myself and Jay and l and really. Explore the lifestyle as we often say, the highs and lows and everything in between.

Elle:

And to be open to hearing our stories and meeting the people that we know and talking about all the different aspects. We do try to come up with some interesting ideas of, what to talk about. Sometimes it's a struggle and sometimes it comes very easily. Sometimes you have dinner and you sit around and talk about it, and then what you thought you were gonna talk about turns into something completely different.

Tramp:

That's very true. So Elle, what are we talking about today?

Elle:

Well, today we are talking about the difference between a hot wife and a hall pass.

Tramp:

Okay.

Elle:

We've, both come across some situations in the last year I know I've said over and over again, I'm not a hot wife, and then I seem to keep finding myself in hot wife situations. So as we were discussing this we even looked up definitions of what each were and how does that apply And, oh, maybe I was wrong or.

Tramp:

Well, why don't we start kind of with the definitions where we talk about a hot wife or quite frankly, a hot husband, if you will, right? And kind of what that entails.

Elle:

Okay. So, according to Mr. Google. It could be Mrs. Google. What do I know? The term hot wife refers to a married woman who engages in sexual relationships with other men, with the full knowledge and consent of her husband, who typically remains monogamous himself. Now, we also know that that's not true. It goes on to say this arrangement is part of ethically non-monogamous or swinging dynamics, and differs from cheating. Cheating because it's openly agreed upon by both partners.

Tramp:

AKA communication.

Elle:

Oh yeah. Don't we love that?

Tramp:

Whereas I think a hall pass is going to be very similar in essence that it's an agreement between the husband and wife typically, where one or potentially both are granted permission to engage in sexual activity with someone outside of their relationship. And it can be ongoing or. A temporary, just as it sounds, a hall pass. It's a one time thing.

Elle:

Sure. And if you're in the vanilla world, it's, this is my celebrity crush and it's my hall pass and I ever get that opportunity to meet that person and they wanna take me and pull my pants down and do all sorts of fun things to me, I get to do that.'cause my husband said it would be okay. Mm-hmm. I like our versions better. Me too.

Tramp:

And I think we're going to bring a very interesting dynamic because I've been on one side of the equation.

Elle:

Yes.

Tramp:

And you've had especially recently experiences where you've been on the other side of the equation. Yes. And we just go from there.

Elle:

Well, I think we start with you.

Tramp:

Okay. So keep in mind everyone, that this is coming from the single male perspective. Mm-hmm. And I have had interactions with assorted hot wives. This is a situation where their husband or significant other was fully aware and we were able to have some wonderful experiences with their full support and permission.

Elle:

Right. And actually probably encouragement. Yes, I know in my case it was encouragement, but we, we know that about Jay.

Tramp:

Very true. Very true. But by the same token, I have to treat those experiences with the utmost respect.

Elle:

Yes.

Tramp:

Because I am the outsider. I'm not there to take anyone's place or anything. I'm there to fulfill a fantasy and to allow, in this case, the sexy woman to just have fun and enjoy and get lost in the moment.

Elle:

Right. And sometimes it's a different experience when your husband's not right there. It isn't so much that they're there hovering over But just having that separation of him not being in the room. Mm-hmm. Not being anywhere near it, and that woman can just. Relax and look into your eyes and get to know you and feel all the feels to, well the feels as you feel. And you had your first experience was, you were newly single. You've not been single in the lifestyle, and you had met a couple and had an opportunity, hit it off and. I leave it to you.

Tramp:

Very true. And this was early on. You're absolutely correct. Where we actually had several experiences and oftentimes with these things, they do run their course. Mm-hmm. It's not necessarily an ongoing relationship or experience or whatnot. But there, were times where she and I played one-on-one. Mm-hmm. And it was amazing and sexy. And you're right, immersive, I think is is the best word. Yeah. Oh, that's a great

Elle:

word. I like that.

Tramp:

And. There was another time where he was there and involved. So it was much more of basically a MFM Right. Where she was the focus and we were there for her and to explore and fulfill her fantasies to that respect.

Elle:

Right, right. And just as a side note, we have friends who. When asked if they've ever done an MFM stated that, oh no, I wouldn't do that. That's too much work. It's not too much work. Just so you know, you get to enjoy two wonderful men paying attention to you and taking you from different angles, and that's always. Really, really nice.

Tramp:

And just being the center of attention. Yeah. It's not necessarily putting in work, you're gonna do what you wanna do. Oh, for sure. If you want to give a double blow job, you give a double blow job. Oh, I

Elle:

do. I do want to.

Tramp:

But if you want to just lay there and some women's fantasies. Just to be serviced and some could be just to be used. Just fuck the shit outta me. Right.

Elle:

Either end what doesn't matter. Go for it. Yeah.

Tramp:

And that's their wheelhouse. That's what they want and that's what it's all about. She is the focus.

Elle:

Right? Exactly. Exactly. So, what did you find were the boundaries with this first experience where, you had to kind of navigate some things. Right. And it was,

Tramp:

admittedly it was brand new to me as well. Yeah. And as I mentioned earlier, you have to treat these situations with the utmost respect and be able not only to acknowledge their partner, their husband, and make sure that everything is copacetic and everything is above board.

Elle:

Mm-hmm.

Tramp:

But I really enjoyed just those one-on-one. I was able to get to know her as a person.

Elle:

Yeah.

Tramp:

And it was, a lot of fun just being able to explore and find out what turned that person on and, the sights and the sounds. Mm-hmm. Everything, what they liked and what they didn't like, and that was amazing for me.

Elle:

Yeah. Yeah. I think that's great. I mean, it's a safe situation. You don't have the pressure of, oh, is this gonna turn into something? Or, that first date feeling or whatever this is, well this is not necessarily mine, but I get to enjoy it tonight.

Tramp:

Very true.

Elle:

Yeah. Everybody's happy. Yay. And we know people who, they'll go out to dinner on a date and then they'll. Wind up at the ranch and Sure. It's like, oh, where's so and so? Oh no, he's at home. I'm on a date. We see that a lot with a lot of people. And, for a while I was like, ah, you know, I think that's great for them. And one couple, they've been together since high school and that was. Not yesterday and they'd not been with anyone else. Mm-hmm. So, you look at that and they both go on dates. So, I think we should call it the hot husband. When we started looking it up and went down the rabbit hole for definitions, there really wasn't one except some weird definitions. But I think it's the same thing where, you know, have permission from the wife to go out on a date, take another woman out, take her to the ranch, go downstairs, play a little, and come home to them. And they love. That they're getting that opportunity because they didn't get to sow those oats when they were in their twenties, you know? Very

Tramp:

true. And I think the other half of that equation is the partner at home. Chances are they want to know about it. It is actually exciting and a huge turn on for them to have their partner come home. And not only. The reclamation sex, which I'm sure is just off the charts. Oh my gosh, yes. But a lot of people will really get off on almost like a play by play or a blow by blow.

Elle:

Yeah. It's like your own personal porn

Tramp:

that you just get to hear. Right. And as we've heard, a lot of people will say, my husband or my wife is my favorite porn star.

Elle:

Yes. Right,

Tramp:

because you can fantasize about that person. Yeah. And you can really get some good stories going in your head.

Elle:

Oh, I'll tell you this much when we'll be watching porn. And Jay's like, oh yeah, there you are. You're doing that. You're taking those cocks, you're doing, you know, and he's already put me in it, whether I'm in it or not, you know? And it's like, I'm alright with that. Do that all day long. Little healthy fantasy there. Yeah. And then what else?

Tramp:

And building off of that El, I know you've had a couple recent experiences, even this past weekend.

Elle:

Yeah.

Tramp:

Where you had a very sexy adventure. And if you're willing to, we'd love to hear a little bit about it.

Elle:

Well, I don't mind sharing. I do it all the time. No. Um, yes, it was unexpected, but it wasn't'cause we had to get a plane ticket. But it came about in an unexpected way. If you've listened to our last few episodes, about a month ago, I went to Orlando to meet my sister-in-law's brother. We're not gonna get into that again. We've told that story already. And while I was there, I met a very lovely Italian man and we really hit it off and, had a great time. That weekend I played a couple of times. Mm-hmm. Um, on the second night, that I was there. He and, and our friend Dee, that had brought him, took me to the playroom at Secrets. Okay. And had their way with me on the sex wing. So that was great.

Tramp:

Now are we going to give this gentleman a, an apologetic swinger code name? Yes. The Italian. The Italian just, I'm gonna leave it at that

Elle:

until he gives me permission to do something else. Oh, fair. That's fair.

Tramp:

Would you do us a favor and maybe just a brief description of him?

Elle:

Oh, yes, I will do that. So, he is a tall gentleman. He's like, you and Jay, maybe 6 1, 6 2, somewhere in there. Okay. Lean like you. I know he plays pickleball on Wednesdays. I don't know what else he does, but he's in pretty good shape. Age appropriate for me. He has. Lovely blue eyes and a super sexy accent. Italian accent, and great hair. It's really good hair. But, and, a very substantial cock. Okay. How's that for a description? That'll

Tramp:

work.

Elle:

Okay.

Tramp:

What is it about accents?'cause I'm much the same way. Whether it's an English accent right? Or whatnot. Something is about accents is just. Intrinsically sexy,

Elle:

right? He's as sexy as his accent, is it that feeling of, being with somebody that you wouldn't normally be with? You know, except for c circumstances, granted he's been here about 20 years. But, that, that accent's still there, and it just, yeah, it just works. He just wanna, he just wanna listen to it for a while. Yes. It's really good. So he and I had hit it off and, Jay and he had, been texting back and forth and everything, and I'm like, well, you could tell him, he could text me if you're okay with that. And, jay made that happen. And so, we would start texting and then it was flirting and, send sexy pictures every now and then and just talking about stuff. And he's like, man, I'd, I'd really love for you to come back to Orlando. Mm-hmm. For house party. He gets invited to a lot of house parties. He's one of those wonderful single men. Who you can have at any party because they are a delight to have there. People want him there, he goes out on a lot of dates and, and has a good time. But when you're with him, you feel like he's with you. Mm-hmm. So it's nice and we had been talking back and forth and Jay's like, well, what do you think? And I'm like, well, might be kind of fun to go back there and go to a house party so I, you don't have to twist my arm. Right. Well, you know, how do you feel? You gotta pay for the ticket. And he's like, I'm happy to pay for that. So, he saw that we were both really hitting it off. And honestly, it's not like the text messages were super sexual. You know, they were just flirty. Except for every now and then, it did get a little bit, but not, it wasn't like the main part of it. So I'm very, very cerebral and I'm not gonna be that way. Yeah, yeah. But

Tramp:

you never wanted to get boring,

Elle:

right? No, exactly. Exactly. Then he brought up, he said, yeah, some really good friends of mine are having a house party and this a lot of sexy people, and do you think you could come out? I would love to have you come out. I'm like, for the whole weekend, he's like, yeah, you can stay with me at my house, and then we'll go over there and, come back and I'm like, okay. So I talked with Jay about it and looked up tickets and said, okay, I, we can do this. And, got the tickets and. A lot of built up excitement as we were coming up on it and went out there last Friday, and that

Tramp:

pent up energy must have been just something else. Yeah.

Elle:

We spent a lot of time, once he picked me up at the airport, we spent a lot of time while we were eating lunch and having a glass of wine just talking with each other. We talked about our kids, we talked about, where he's here, he's lived, where I've lived, so it was definitely get to know you a little bit better.

Tramp:

And, and it makes you feel, just as you mentioned, you being very cerebral. It gives you that additional connection. Connection that turn on instead of just saying, Hey, you're hot. Let's, let's go. Fuck.

Elle:

Right? I would feel so awkward staying at his place for, two and a half days. Going, we didn't talk about anything. I have to have that. Mm-hmm. It's important. So, we wound up sitting on the couch and talking for a little while longer, and then things started kind of to, to heat up a little bit. We started kissing and making out and they kind of went from there.

Tramp:

Now. At up to this point would you consider yourself a hot wife?

Elle:

Well, gosh, now based on our definition here.

Tramp:

Yeah.

Elle:

Hey, can I be a situational hot wife?

Tramp:

I don't see why not. Okay,

Elle:

good. Then I am a situational hot wife. If it's a specific person, a specific situation, then yes. Mm-hmm. I would say I am. Okay. Wow. Okay. That was unexpected. Yeah.

Tramp:

It's not you and Jay's soul dynamic. No. Because you, you still go out on dates with other couples, you mm-hmm. If there's a four way connection, you still all play. Yes. And all of the traditional, I guess, trappings or definitions of swinging, but this is just an additional. Flavor that is now in your wheelhouse.

Elle:

Yeah. Yeah. And like I said, I, it was very unexpected and, I certainly wouldn't have thought I'd fly out to Orlando a second time to have a fun, sexy weekend without Jay. Mm-hmm. Um, and, it really, the comfort level was so. Good that, it was just super easy to spend the time together, to fool around, to have sex on the sofa, to, go to the party. I mean, the party was amazing. A beautiful house with. Lovely people. Mm-hmm. I think there were maybe 30 people there. Oh wow. Yeah, it was a pretty, I mean,

Tramp:

I love a good house party. Yeah. It was, especially when everyone is sexy.

Elle:

Yeah. They, and everybody was, got to know everybody on SDC and then like that Friday night when we went out to dinner, we were going through it and he was telling me once that he knew and. Had connections with, or who he played pickle ball with on Wednesdays. Right. And, all the things.'cause he's been around these people for a while, so most of the people that were there, he knew. Now there were some that didn't. So, you have the, question from somebody, oh, I just met your husband. I'm like, oh no, you mm-hmm. He's not my husband. My husband's in Colorado. Right. Which then they thought he was on a trip in Colorado and thought it was weird. Wait, you live in Colorado, right? And why are you here?

Tramp:

Well, for it may not be necessarily in their wheelhouse or. It's just not their thing. So it, it is a foreign concept, if you will. Yeah. So the one thing that came to mind right now with the Italian is since this is his local community

Elle:

mm-hmm.

Tramp:

Did you at any point ever feel any. I guess conflict or anything coming from other people that he, may have played with before and maybe the wife was expecting? Well, no, the Italians, I was looking forward to the Italian tonight, and the Italians here was someone else, and I don't know how I feel about that.

Elle:

I didn't get any of that. No, everybody was really welcoming. There were three ladies that basically hosted it was at one, one house. But they, and their, spouses, I found out, I mean, had spent days getting the place ready. Like this was their first house party. Oh, wow. And they knocked it out of the park. I mean, the food was great, all the little snackies and, everybody, it was BYOB and they had set up, the theme was rave. Okay. And so everybody kind of wore rave wear, so it was a lot of neon. And they had put blue lights out on the back patio. So when we're all out there and the light, you know, it got dark. I'm like, oh my God, you're glowing. You're glowing too. Oh my gosh, everybody's glowing. This is very fun. And they had set up several, beds and, two bedroom. They had a loft upstairs where they had a bed and then they had a sex sofa, and then they had these three like movie theater recliner chairs. Mm-hmm. Or, if you have a movie theater in your house that were up there, just sort of. Facing the bed and the little lounger, for people to just sit and watch. So that got kind of sexy and it seemed like it took a little while for things to get rolling, but, two couples kind of start got, he get hot and heavy in the hot tub. I

Tramp:

was gonna say was there someone you noticed that was just the fire starter?

Elle:

Well, actually from that previous, episode, if you listen to it. Daytona had brought to the room Mary and Peter, and we all fooled around. Well, they were there. Oh, okay. So it was nice. I knew people and Leland and Doc were there, so I knew people, which was kind of nice. So I wasn't going in completely green clinging to the Italians coattails. And so I went around and got to know people, spoke with one of the hostess, for a while and everything. But when, mary went with one gentleman who was very well built, very handsome. We saw them go into the pool, so we're all inside watching, and he's got her up against the wall, and then they're making out. And then you could see they're feeling things under the water and then he turns her around and I mean, it was really going to town. And I'm just watching going. Yep. I'm turned on. This is really, this is really hot. And then Peter, went with his, the other guy's wife, and they started fooling around in the pool and then everybody started going upstairs. Exactly. You know, that was the fire starter right there. Yeah. Everyone started

Tramp:

to follow suit because once the ice is broken, right, and it's like, okay, we can,

Elle:

yes,

Tramp:

proceed.

Elle:

And I looked at the Italian and said, I would like to go. Fuck you. And so we went upstairs and, and he's like, you don't have to twist my arm L for sure. Lead the way. Lead the way. So we went upstairs and he sat on one of the, recliners and I just s knelt down in front of him and, I'd made him take his pants off and his shirt and his neon shirts and, took his cock out and, and got it hard and was sucking on him. And, and also was having all kinds of fun. Oh, yes, yes. And then other people started coming up and, we realized that we had a little audience, people were watching, which that was kind of fun. That turned me on a little bit. And then other people started playing on the bed and at one point, there were, there was a couple and he's an airline pilot. His wife is a, a flight attendant. And, she was on the sex lounger with the host from the house. Mm-hmm. The host that owns the house, he was fucking her and the husband was there with his cock and she had it in his, her hand and was putting it in her mouth. And I, I looked at the Italian, I said, I think she needs three. And he's like, oh. I think she might, well look at you. Go. And so he went over there, he's like, I think you should come with, and I'm like, I'm on my way. And so she's laying back she has both of their Cox in her hand and his alternating putting him in her mouth and, having a really great time. Her husband started playing with my breasts, which were. I got some really good reactions at that party. You got a lot of nice compliments on'em. You,

Tramp:

you have amazing breasts. There's Oh, thank you.

Elle:

Hmm. They were worth every penny. But he started playing and, I held his cock and started stroking it. And that was a nice one too. Actually. There were a lot of. Really good sized men at this event, which was kind of fun.

Tramp:

So it almost sounds like it may have been a little curated, which is always Oh, I think it, yes. Yes. Good for a house party, I think

Elle:

about that. Yeah, for sure. For sure. I think, definitely that was a bit of a recurring thing, but it seems like a lot of. Folks know each other well get, get together a lot, you know, have parties, right? Kind the, the regular yes. Crew, if you'll, yes. Yeah. And there were a few new people that were coming in so that kind of started getting hot and heavy and he asked if we could go onto the bed. So actually we went into the bedroom and I went to go get on the bed and realized, oh, this is a wet spot. Oh, there's a wet spot over here that. Mattress was soaked. Soaked from the, the couple of couples that had been in previously Uhhuh, and he brought in two little hand towels. And I'm like, yeah, it's not gonna cut it. Yeah, that's not gonna cut it, it's not gonna cut it. We're gonna go out there. And so at that point, everybody had moved off the sex lounger.

Tramp:

I mean, really, who wants to be in the wet spot?

Elle:

Not, and not when the entire bed's a wet spot. Ew. But hey, you know what? No. I admire women who can squirt. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. It is something I, I have rarely done,

Tramp:

but, maybe a pro tip is if you are, take the precautions and

Elle:

Right.

Tramp:

Put a little something down, so Yeah.

Elle:

Yeah. It's not your bed,

Tramp:

so. That bed will never be the same. No.

Elle:

It's, it's scenes and things for sure. I was watching for a while. It was pretty sexy in there. I'll give him that. We did go over to the lounger which is funny. Jay and I have had one for about a year, and another couple friend of ours gave it to us. They were moving and downsizing. Mm-hmm. And they're like, we've never used it. We're like, yeah, sure. We'll take it. We also have never used it, right? So, you know, it, it's

Tramp:

very good to put clothes on and it really ha

Elle:

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. So we need to fix that. Definitely, now that I have experienced it, I definitely think so. We played there for quite a while, in different positions. Me bending over him, laying me down flat, and he was getting really excited and he was very fascinated with my breasts. And, when he was getting close to coming. Mm-hmm. And he's like, where do you want me to come? And I'm like, come on my breasts. He's like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the lounger was such that. It was wider, so he couldn't really straddle it to get close to me, and I was up far enough. Mm-hmm. That he was far enough back. He could only get to my belly. So he's like, oh, I didn't make it. And we laughed. I mean, you gotta laugh. Oh yeah. Yeah. There were several times throughout the whole thing where we were chuckling'cause Okay. That was just a, that was just awkward, you

Tramp:

know? You know when you're having just a fun, amazing experience. I think laughter should definitely be a part of it. Oh, oh, oh yeah. Just lighthearted. And it shouldn't be serious all the time. Totally agree. There's a time and place for it to be hot and heavy and just lusty and Right. All that. But when you truly can relax and throw a chuckle in, you throw a chuckle in. It's, yeah.

Elle:

Yeah. All in all, I, I think we were one of the last to leave. We had a great experience. The Italian was sitting on the sofa with another couple, who we'd been talking to. Just such great energy. I wanna give them some names. Hold please. Janet and Marty. Okay, Janet and Marty. Okay. Were sitting on the sofa with the Italian and I came around to just see if we was ready to go and they were all sort of playing with each other and everything and made room for me. And, Janet said, I, I think you need to sit on that cock. It was very hard and very engorged. And I'm like, well, sure. So I thought, okay, well I'll just sort of back into it and squat down and then. Bounce up and down on it. But, if you've not done a lot of squats recently that. It was very challenging, you know, I'm like, ow, you know? And I try to, after about

Tramp:

30 seconds, you're like,

Elle:

like, who? Who, who not doing it for the right reason. So I was like holding onto his thighs and then he was sort of bouncing up and down. I'm like, okay, that'll work. I can hold myself here on fell foray, my body part's holding on.

Tramp:

Sounds like you have a. New exercise to add to your workout regimen? Yeah, I actually

Elle:

did quads and glutes today for sure. That was my work. I felt it going up the stairs, so I know I worked it. But, then we decided, okay, well Ella is losing her, her mojo and turned me around. So I was leaning up against the back of the sofa and he started, fucking me from behind. And Marty at that point. He also was fascinated with my breasts, as was she, and he was like, oh, can I touch those? And I'm like, yeah. So he put himself, so I'm leaning forward. He put himself under my breast and was. Suckling. Mm-hmm. Like it was nobody's business. And he was the happiest person in the world. And at one point Janet leans over and, starts kissing me, and then he's watching it from below. And I'm just getting kind of pushed into Marty and like, oh gosh, we can't, we can't do this much longer. We're gonna suffocate him. He's like. I'm fine. Yes. Looked up will die if he died right now. Would die happy. He's like, I looked up and saw the two of you kissing. I'm fine. Yeah. So it was, a really great way to end the evening. I think, we were driving home about three 15 in the morning, and I cannot tell you the last time I was up at three 15, he was pretty amped when we got in the car. He's like, are you tired? I'm like, yeah. Yeah, I am. And he is like, yeah, you've been going for hours, right? And yeah, the party started at eight. So, as we're driving, it was about a half hour drive to his house. And he starts getting tired and I'm like, okay, well I have to stay awake'cause I'm gonna keep you awake, you know? Mm-hmm. So, yeah, we made it and, and got to bed and. Wanted to have sex, but just wasn't gonna happen. I was just too tired. So slept till about nine 30, made sure we, had some goodbye sex before I got on the plane. And, really, really just had an amazing weekend. I didn't even tell you about Friday night where we. Uh, we must have orgasmed four times. So it was hot. Just all hot, the reconnecting and, yeah. You guys probably had pent up

Tramp:

energy Oh. From the texting, even though you said it was a lot more flirty than

Elle:

Right. Than, but we knew what the other could do, so it wasn't like there were expectations, but it was very, a very comfortable flow into it. Mm-hmm. And so I suppose if that makes me a hot wife. I am a situational hot wife. Okay,

Tramp:

fair enough.

Elle:

Yeah,

Tramp:

and also with an ongoing, I'm assuming an ongoing hall pass from Jay.

Elle:

Yes, I think he would be fine. Anytime. I would like to, I'm invited out there again. I mean, I, I did have a number of people saying, how often do you get out to Orlando? Which I said, well, up until this year, really never. But, I've been here four times this year, so odds me coming back are pretty good. Right. I think it was Marty, he's like, I will buy you a ticket. You can come out here, anytime we wanna see you again. So I, I felt really good about it. Everybody was so nice and, warm and welcoming and, and you don't always find that in a party where you don't really know anybody. If it's a group of people where they have. Known each other for a number of years and they have a comfort level and all that. But they had said, the Italian is always welcome. They were thrilled that he brought someone with him. And so I think all in all, we all had a good time.

Tramp:

I think when you are in this community, when you're respected, first and foremost, people are genuinely happy. Yeah. When, you find a connection. Right. Whether it be temporary Right. Or more long term.

Elle:

Right. Exactly. Exactly. And, I told Jay when I came home, I said, the sex was great. The connections were wonderful. We had wonderful conversation and laughed a lot, which is so important to me. Mm-hmm. But that it seemed like. It was like an affair.'cause he wasn't there. But it didn't, because there wasn't that emotion that goes along with it. I mean, I, I care for him. Of course, he's a good man. Of course he's a good man. But, I didn't leave going, oh, he flew off to Puerto Rico to visit his girl down there for two weeks. You know, he's having a great time. I love that for him. Mm-hmm. He's got, he's got ladies all over the place and I don't doubt it'cause he is. He is a great, wonderful, respectful man. Fantastic. And I think we need more of them. And you like that? Mm-hmm. You know, you're the same kind of a person and I think that it's fabulous when we can, have people that husbands can feel comfortable with and not threatened by. And, the wives can enjoy themselves and sort of let loose a little bit.

Tramp:

Well, very well said. Well, El thank you for. Sharing that. Yeah, you're welcome. That was very sexy.

Elle:

Mm. I try, I try. I'm getting, trying to get better at the descriptions without stumbling and being awkward, so

Tramp:

You're doing fantastic.

Elle:

Thanks hun.

Tramp:

I'm gonna pause real quick and tell you about our sponsor, which is shivers. Shivers is an edible CBD derived sensation enhancer, and there are two specialized formulas. One for men and one for women. And let me tell you, these things are amazing personally. They kick in after 30 to 60 minutes, and not only do I get a nice energy boost for those late night shenanigans, but every touch is just magnified. It really does send those wonderful shivers right down your spine, but it doesn't end there. Not only is my pleasure increase, but the next day I wake up feeling great and not all groggy and hungover as if you've been drinking all night. Ooh, this may actually replace alcohol in a lot of lifestyle situations. For me at least. I feel good. I'm relaxed, and everything is just better, especially when I get a chance to play. We would love for you guys to try them out and we've arranged a special discount at Shivers store on any of their products. Just use the code US for unapologetic swingers at checkout for 10% off your entire order, and please let us know what you think of them. Well guys, we do have an a MA this week. You

Elle:

said that, and you have not shared with me yet what it is. No, I have not. So this is gonna be new for me too. Have so no prep here.

Tramp:

So this is from, a listener we're gonna call them dl. And here's the question. Okay. We are new to the lifestyle and love it. She wants it all the time and he needs to get to know people first. Mm-hmm. Uh, I get

Elle:

that.

Tramp:

Yep. We have found that it can be difficult to approach people in social situations like at the ranch and, and that Cassidy, which is like SLS or SDC, it's a swinger social media dating site. Yeah. Dating site, is not super user friendly. They're not sure if these are the only avenues. So that's kind of one question. Okay. The follow up is how do you all meet other couples to befriend and maybe play with?

Elle:

Okay. Well, let's see. Other ways to meet people. I mean, there used to be ways. I think people sometimes go on Tinder. And they'll have a profile and kind of, I know I had a girlfriend I had lunch with and she was saying, yeah, it was so hard to date. I kept getting these guys approaching me and we'd be talking and he is like, well, I'm actually married and we were looking for somebody to join us and she definitely was not interested. So people do go that direction. I know there's, FetLife for more Kinkier, BDSM, type of person. Mm-hmm. But it seems like that group is. FA bit more open to meeting other people, but for us, it really has been going to the ranch or if we, travel and go to an event somewhere. Once you start meeting people, especially from other states and. They might invite you out for something. We did go, to Houston once and went to, well, we went to the purgatory. And that was a takeover program? It was a takeover, yeah, it was a takeover in Houston, which was very fun. And but before that, a couple we had met at the ranch. We had gone down to visit them, they invited us down. They're like, why don't you come visit? We're like, why don't we? Mm-hmm. You know, so you get to do that, and then you meet other people. So there were another couple that we met at Purgatory and we're gonna see them this weekend for a house party, and you keep those connections. So, I would say keep trying on Cassidy and getting used to it and, look around at other profiles and send a little note and, try to read their profile and pull something from the profile. Sure. So many people just go, hi. Yeah. Low, low effort. Yeah. Yeah. Make a little effort. Show that you read their profile because there may be something on there that is a real good connection for you. Mm-hmm. Oh my gosh. We were feeling the same way, or we like to do the same thing and, when you go on those, they'll, post where there's parties, so there's a group in Colorado, and they throw hotel takeover parties for the holidays or for different events. And so you'll see that there's other places you can go besides, going to the ranch or going to a specific place, to try and meet somebody. And that might be a great place to just sort of get a feel for it. Mm-hmm. And, and make a few friends, if you stay and you have a hotel room, you don't have to go play with somebody. Sure. You know, you never have to. You never have to, and when we took the pressure off. Of trying to have sex with people and built more of a, let's just meet a new person today. Right? Let's meet two new people. Make that connection. Let's get to know somebody that we've met. Let's get to know them a little bit better. And that's the focus for the evening. That takes all that pressure off. The rest of it works its way out. Mm-hmm. You find your way to, find that connection with a couple of people or an individual just try to meet some new people. Sure. Just like they did. I know Jay met them at the ranch one Sunday, and just try to meet one more person,

Tramp:

I would simplify that a little bit by saying No, no, no. Because that came out very well. Because

Elle:

l you spoke a long time. No.

Tramp:

The most successful people I feel in the lifestyle are ones that are outgoing. Yeah. So you can be a gorgeous couple, but if you're wallflowers Yeah. Either people are going to be intimidated to talk to you.

Elle:

Oh, yeah.

Tramp:

Or we've all seen those couples that give off new vibes.

Elle:

Yeah.

Tramp:

At any given club. Mm-hmm. The ranch being our local club and. I make a point to just welcome, just make them, and I know Jay is phenomenal at just being able to spark up that conversation. He

Elle:

really is good. So

Tramp:

you have to almost get comfortable being uncomfortable and just. Being out there.

Elle:

Yeah.

Tramp:

Talking to people. Don't be afraid to say hi. Don't be afraid to pay the compliment.

Elle:

Yeah. That's always a good in with, somebody is, you know,'cause people make an effort when they go or find the people that make an effort and go up and give a compliment. Or we've had any number of people just come up hi, we're new. Right. Oh, good. Did you get the tour? Do you have any questions? You know, that kind of a thing. Can we introduce you to some people? Right. Most people are willing to introduce you to somebody else, and if they're not, go find someone who will.

Tramp:

Sure.

Elle:

You know,

Tramp:

and for the veterans and, we happen to know some locals who are very good at this. When you see that couple who may seem a little timid, the deer in headlights look. Yeah. Yes. Go up and say hi. Just say hi. Just say hi.

Elle:

Yeah. It's easy.

Tramp:

And open up that line of conversation. Mm-hmm. Now, granted, I admit I'm not the greatest at small talk. Just getting out there, meeting people, meeting people. You're a shyer. Yes. Yes I am.

Elle:

You are. Yes. That's why you hang out with us,

Tramp:

but you have to be willing to put yourself out there. Now granted as coming from the single male lens, it is, yes. It's, it's different because people automatically. It's almost put their guards up, raise their shields. Mm-hmm. Yeah.'cause you know, single guys only want one, you know, just Right. Very broadly generalizing, but

Elle:

Yeah.

Tramp:

But instead of just Yeah. Being social and luckily I have a lot of friends.

Elle:

Yeah. You came into, your single manhood with already knowing some people. Mm-hmm. Not everybody gets that. And, I think it is. You know, having some understanding and some, some empathy for that single male. Yeah. That's looking a little bit outta sorts, they need to make some effort, but we also need to, at least give them a chance. Mm-hmm.

Tramp:

But I will admit being with a sexy woman, it is so much easier to meet other couples. Yeah. Having seen both sides of the equation, if you will.

Elle:

Right.

Tramp:

But another thing that was touched on Yeah. That I really wanna explore just briefly here, is when one person in the couple is very, if they see someone they're attracted to, they can go with it and they can go play where the other half needs that cerebral connection in order to get the juices flowing.

Elle:

Yes. We, had that situation once where. Jay had been talking with them, so there was already a connection and they were all very touchy by the time I came up. And she became just very, I think through association with Jay, you know, became touchy, touchy with me. And I'm like, okay, yeah, I'm not there yet. I'm gonna, yeah, I'm, I'm not, I need a little more, and to acknowledge that, and maybe that's the case where, you hold off for that night. It's like, you know what? We'd like to have dinner, right? Why don't we meet here for dinner? Well, let's go somewhere and have dinner. And just get to know each other a little bit and see where we're at. Mm-hmm. But there's plenty of places, that are a little bit more, DTF down to fuck. Mm-hmm. And, I've heard that now actually speaking, talking about it this weekend with. The Italian, trape in Fort Lauderdale, their, situation is set up. You walk in, there's, there's a big dance floor, people are dancing. You wanna go into the play area, and I think it's, I'm starting to decide it's a Florida thing. You've gotta strip down to nothing when you go in there. So most people, it's like, great meet to, you know, nice to meet you. You are hot. Let's go get our clothes off. And even our friends, the affix swingers who had moved from there would tell us the same thing. You're like, yeah, Colorado. It's a, it's a much slower role. People wanna get to know you before you get somewhere. No, it's not always the case. But in a lot of cases, it, it is. We wanna, we wanna build a little bit of a relationship to, to have that attraction

Tramp:

right. And I think there are circumstances, at least in the lifestyle. Like resorts and cruises where you're on a time crunch, you're, you're on a time crunch almost.

Elle:

Yeah.

Tramp:

But really getting back to it, it's my personal belief then in the lifestyle, your partner should be the most important person. Yes. And so if, one partner needs that cerebral, you both have to give and take a little bit as you become more comfortable.

Elle:

Right.

Tramp:

And. I found myself in a lot of circumstances historically just rolling with the punches, and I was okay with that. Yeah. But the traditional logic is you move as fast as the slowest person?

Elle:

Yes. I was about to say that. Yeah. It's the slowest common denominator. Mm-hmm. And that, helps preserve your relationship because if you push somebody too fast, then they will have resentment. They may not show it to you, they may not tell you about it, but it's, it's underlying there as like, wow. Didn't even take into consideration how I feel about this. Right. And unless you've discussed ahead of time having a hall pass or being a hot wife mm-hmm. Then, you really need to respect that person that you're going home with. There will be other times, there will be other times, especially if you talk about it. And you've respected how they feel the next time. It's like, okay, well you, went home with me when I was ready to go. I'm willing to put myself out there just a little bit more. Yeah,

Tramp:

I'm, I'm willing to get a little uncomfortable this time. Right goes, it's not gonna optimal, but let's see where it goes. Right again. Communication. It's all about communication. Yeah. Yeah. My favorite word, I think, well, this has been amazing. Yeah.

Elle:

Wow. We were really struggling while we were having dinner. Wow. What are we gonna talk about? Right. I thought that turned out pretty well.

Tramp:

It turned out amazing

Elle:

if we say so ourselves.

Tramp:

But everyone, we are just so thankful just based on the downloads, we are reaching a lot of people and. Not just here in Denver and Colorado, but all across the country and even all around the world in some cases.

Elle:

I know I've said it before, but that is one of my favorite things to do is to see what obscure country. One person from there has downloaded our episode.

Tramp:

Mm-hmm.

Elle:

Yay.

Tramp:

Actually outside of Colorado. I have a request. Our second biggest market is Chicago. So I would love to get an a MA from someone in Chicago and I know you guys are listening.

Elle:

Yes, please. I think that you know what, we need to call out a city every time. I like that. To see who will send us something. Work with us people. Yes. Work with us. Help

Tramp:

us. Help us help you. Let's help you. Well guys, thank you just so much for coming along. Feel free to send us an email and we are unapologetic swingers@gmail.com and also our website is www.unapologeticswingers.com. But if you really want to help us, is just whatever podcast platform you're listening on, leave us a review that helps out. More than anything, to be perfectly honest.

Elle:

We really appreciate it. Until next time, I'm Elle

Tramp:

and I'm the tramp.

Elle:

Be sexy,

Tramp:

be confident.

Elle:

Be unapologetic.